Ren - Troubles 

There's a really good chance we could chart with tthis one! This would be the first time in history a song about M.E and lyme disease would make the top 40 which would be huge for awareness. Moments like this are pinch me moments and make me feel good about keeping the promise to my younger self. That's because of all you guys so thankyou so much!! If you wana help secure that spot you can download Troubles on all platforms by following the link below Let's go!!! First official release of the year! renmakesmusic.lnk.to/troubles Heres the lyrics for anyone who wants them I don't reach into the past very much for these shards of shattered glass and harsh paper cuts, leave me stuck when I reach in, memories are seaped in hydrochloric acid, I go to war and get passive and freeze up, But music helped the ice to thaw, put a chizzel in the middle swing the hammer of Thor pull it out of the impossible, Excalibur sword etching note pads full of reasons why my feelings are sore The first day that I got sick ejected from cock pit of living Ninteen ,young teen, waking up Bitten posters up, man hunt, Ren went missing Hard to have faith when the gods don't listen The first year maybe was the hardest Waking in a body that was buried like a carcass Brain in the lions den Body in a sharkpit Waking up in pain again Aching broken hearted Persistent little bugger I was bouncing from a doctor to a doctor to a doctor like a table tennis game that has no end So be the fate of Ren Every single question asnwered with a question on the end The second year I came to terms with giving up my dreams mind severed from the means that helped me write these rhyme schemes brain was inflamed The fatigue was Crushing Hard to remain sane with your brain combusting And the third year was murder Living in a purga-tory full of worry wouldn't live to be thirty Life style style hurt me Always in my bed tomb Re-arrange the alphabet and all the letters spell doom Light hurt my eyes Popping pills to survive When you're 23 and mentally you steadily decline 24 I was poor disability benefits What's the benefit of disability it's irrelevant 25 and the scars that were etched... they cracked Elastic bands only stretch so far and then snap Deep in phsycosis hallucinations, troubled vision Visits from the underworld were conjuring my Superstition 25, living back at home with my mum But not because I'm a bum Alone and physically done So thin, so frail, so week I'd become And my skin so pale, never kissed by the sun One time I carved a whole in my chest, just to feel I wish that was a metaphor, the struggle was real When you're living in a holocaust you buckle and kneel There's relief in the teeth of the kiss of cold steel Facts 26 im highly medicated and the pain sophisticated while im laying broke and naked on my back I brought my microphone into my Coffin, started droppin raw thoughts with the grim reaper knocking on the track Then man, lo and behold I heard an angel beckon on this treacherous road Was a stem cell doctor with a generous glow And a cell transplant brought Me out of the Cold And my body got stronger And my skin got younger And my stomach felt hunger for a door that was closed And my soul heard music for the first time Beauty was a word I'd use for this gift of gold Oh lord I forgive you Lord I forgive you Lord I forgive you Make me whole This music I give you Pain that I live through Everything I been through Is yours to hold

About a month ago I met a woman in her 50’s with Lyme disease. She’s from Brighton (REN’s hometown) and is part of a support group for other sufferers. I mentioned that I’d learned more about the disease through a musician called Ren. Her face immediately lit up, she described all the work he’s done to support her group - called him their hero. All of this done quietly, without fuss and without seeking any credit. He’s a good man. ❤

I’m 19, I’m trying. Thank you for this (actual shivers)

Tears streaming down my face. I've never met you, I will never meet you, yet the happiness I feel is immeasurable. I'm a doctor and the way you compare your doctor with an angel, is the highest honor ever.... May you never have health problems ever again.... modern-day Shakespeare...

May is Millions missing month, or M.E. awareness month. When I was first diagnosed with M.E. the amount of support and understanding of this illness was very low. I was left to suffer with no real explanation as to why. I wasn’t told at the time that this can be a by product of conditions like Lyme, POTS, MCAS, reactivating viruses. I had to figure that out by myself and it took years of trial and error, and treatments that often left me worse off until I was a functional human again. Over a decade later and the landscape still looks very much the same. Sufferers all over the world re left with debilitating, confusing symptoms and are left to drop off the face of the earth, unnoticed, because of the limited energy people have to advocate for themselves. People go from living fully active lives to trapped in bed, sometimes for decades, with no reasons why. M.E. a debilitating and cruel condition receives less than 6 times the amount of annual funding than Male Pattern Baldness. Nancy Kilmas, a proffesor of microbiology and immunology once stated: ‘My H.I.V. patients for the most part are hale and hearty thanks to three decades of intense and excellent research and billions of dollars invested. Many of my ME/CFS patients, on the other hand, are terribly ill and unable to work or participate in the care of their families. I split my clinical time between the two illnesses, and I can tell you if I had to choose between the two illnesses (in 2009) I would rather have H.I.V.’ I first hand experienced the crushing defeat of having a condition that there is little to no support for, and it breaks my heart to know that every day people are dropping off the face of the earth, and in many instances will be left to suffer for years with no full explanation or support. I am one of the fortunate ones who managed to manage symptoms enough to resume a mostly functional life. I therefore see it as a duty to speak on behalf of people who find themselves in a position where it’s difficult to speak for themselves. I wish I’d had more stories of hope at the time. Now I’m in a position where I could actively make a dent, even if a small one. Ive spent the last month putting together a detailed account of my story in hopes that it helps the people suffering feel less alone, gives them hope, and also hopefully raises awareness and rattles enough cages to highlight the severity of this illness to the point where more is done for it. The first instalment will debut on my RU-vid and twitch channels tomorrow at 6:15 PM UK time, and will continue every day until the release of my next track ’Troubles’ on the 9th of may. I hope for the sake of all of us still actively fighting their hardest to participate in life, that this offers some kind of help, because I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. I love you Ren You can pre-save troubles by following this link! renmakesmusic.lnk.to/troubles

I never comment, but I will for you Ren. RU-vid gods please throw this on the recommended of everyone out there!

As a mom of a 30yo with health issues. I want to acknowledge his mom who was there for him.❤

I'm bed bound with ME and this made me cry. I never thought there would be musicians out there advocating for us. I know you don't have to. Thank you.

To all you artists, performers, writers, poets, etc…. Ren has demonstrated a template to create meaning, solace, compassion, and empathy. I for one, had lost a considerable amount of my passion for music appreciation and my own creative potential. Though it may sound like hyperbole, the art Ren has created has markedly improved my life in several ways. I see REN’s influence in other aspiring independent artists who have written more creatively and made videos pushing their previous practices and methods.

I've been missing for more than half my life. Sometimes it feels like I'll never be found. Thank you, Ren, for helping people to see us before we disappear. #MillionsMissing #M.E

Mom here again. Where are your boots? You're going to get frost bite! Now that's out of the way....I've listened so many times now. I can't help but Imagine people with a collection of similar symptoms being able to show it to their family. Just to set it on the kitchen table, press play and say, "Here. This is what I'm talking about." Just to be heard would be such a relief. Love you honey. Get some boots.

The truth of this burned through me. Autoimmune diseases just produce eyerolls from GP's. I never speak about my own illnesses, but I will here. Fibro since the mid 90's and a doozy of a autoimmune illness called Antiphospholipid Syndrome. Now that one can actually kill me. Its already caused me to have a cerebellar stroke. The usual symptoms, we all know, fatique, weakness, pain, poor balance, headaches, heart palpitations, chest pain breathlesness. What was I offered for this array of symptoms? Ha ha, yep, you guessed it..Sertraline. An antidepressant. I refused, so I have NO meds from anywhere to help the symptoms, apart from a Blood thinner, to cut the risk of another stroke. The state of Autoimmune disease budgets and plans for treatment in this Country is practically non existent. Its an actual Natioal disgrace. Thank you Ren, for sharing your experience and giving a voice to so many others.

I just played this for my daughter who has a Connective Tissue disorder, POTSsnd heart condition. It made us both cry, because we felt heard. Thank you Ren. Keep pushing bro, but remember to stop, breathe and just be as well. Luv ya ❤❤

I love how we typically beg for forgiveness but Ren is like "Lord I forgive you" for what he's been through. Generational artist ❤

Ren's writing ranks him among literary greats like Wilde, Byron, Poe and Keats. -- I would love to see a published book of his lyrics.

I have ME/CFS and yes, it’s painful. Really painful. I also have two autoimmune diseases so it was ridiculous getting a diagnosis. But here I am. Thankfully I haven’t had a total breakdown. I can’t even imagine how difficult this is for such a young man. REN is such a great communicator and talent, that we’ve been the beneficiaries of his great music.

I watched woodstock happen, and yet I'm completely taken over by the brilliance of this vibrant artist.. Excellence is always appreciated 🌟

I live in the Highlands, tick central, I know a few folk with Lymes, yer music has raised awareness in bairns everywhere to the dangers of Lymes, my hat is doffed...

It’s hard to live life with a condition that’s so debilitating, waiting times for the nhs are horrendous , I’ve suffered with chronic ear condition which causes me vertigo, headaches that leave me in vomiting and getting constant infections. Listening to your music helps knowing we are not alone and change needs to happen in listening ❤

🙏For this to reach the charts - not just for you, Ren, but for everyone you're singing for💞

This isn't entertainment, this is real life. This is HOPE for so many people. Thank you! ❤

A walking talking singing acting thesaurus. So fucking talented this man is incredible.

My close nurse-colleague friend got COVID from a patient in 2021. Now she has been diagnosed with M.E. Initially, doctors said "You have long-COVID.. so sorry... we have no cure and no answers." Finally, she got a diagnosis of M.E. -- she lives in her house, afraid and alone. My heart is broken for this brilliant, highly educated, successful woman who dedicated her life to helping others survive illness. She has all kinds of crazy symptoms and is really drowning . Thank you, Ren, for bringing awareness to your terrible illness. I want to show my friend that you never gave up, and now you have HOPE. God bless you, precious one.

I have MCTE, POtS and Fibro and I can attest to it taking years and feeling so alone and lost. I found a friend in REN’s voice. His voice in the darkness was my angel and I thank him.

My wife (GF at the time) fell ill suddenly at age 24. She spent 15 years unable to feed herself and sometimes slipping into a coma. Finally we found a clinic that could and wanted to help her. Now at 46 she has the energy of a 60-y.o. woman. Which doesn't sound all that great -- but it is amazing progress for someone who sometimes could not even speak, focus her eyes, or recognise her husband. At this very moment she's outside in the drizzle, planting seedlings in the garden. There is always hope.

Ren - beautiful song. I was the 90th documented case of lyme in the US back in the early 70s. At that point it wasn't known what caused it. Without a causative agent to target I just got tons of antibiotics, and then sent home. They thought it was Rocky Mtn Spotted fever, RA, among others. I went back into hospitals numerous times and would sometimes get so bad that my parents would have to carry me to bed because my joints were inflamed and painful. Got lyme twice more as an adult as I live in a hot zone for deer ticks. So far I've been lucky and don't appear to have 'Long Lyme" as they now call it (chronic). As you know, the latest buzz is that Autoimmunity arises AFTER the spirochete is cleared (previous infection) and there are many experts now experimenting with steroids to suppress the response. This is a HUGE sea change from only a few years ago. I hope you continue to heal and get distance between the present and those terrible days when you were bed bound. Thank you for your music and having the stamina to make and release it. Cheers.

'ejected from cock pit of living' was a really powerful line to me, stay strong ren ❤

Oh Ren ... Why you gotta do an old lady dirty like this and make me cry? hehe ... i remember when you started to regain yourself and i heard people in the illness community rumble a bit about how you never spoke of us anymore. I didn't feel that way. I know if i got even one night's hall pass from this decades long hell lol i'd go out there and live like no one ever has ... even for just one night. It just felt so good to see you shine. But that you that suffered and continues to struggle along with all of us... deserves not to be forgotten. None of us do. Big love darling boy ... big love

ME patient here still in the "bounce from doctor to doctor and hope they don't dismiss, abuse, or otherwise fail you" stage after over a decade of fighting to get an acurate diagnosis and treatment. I spend every moment of my life in severe pain and fatigue and it's stolen my life from me. I live right next to one of the best hospitals in my country and can't use it (thanks american healthcare system.) Seeing another patient pursue the things they love to this extent gives me hope for my own goals.

I am a 20+ years experienced Social Worker who specialises in Trauma and Complex Trauma…my work is diverse and heartbreaking and predominantly involves working within the horrific Mental Health System in Australia…..your words hit hard and with such INTEGRITY and TRUTH…only those who have been through the horrendous Health System which includes the Mental Health System revolving door or worked and supported and advocated for those within these systems intrinsically KNOW this…..YOU young Man are the most Inspirational, captivating, compassionate and ground-breaking musical genius I have witnessed in a very long time…and I am old enough to have witnessed the whole Michael Jackson evolution that turned the music industry upside down with his genius….. THANK YOU for all that you are and all that you do…sending Love and Blessings.

As a mother of 3, I feel proud of you as if you were one of my kids. I can only imagine how your mom felt throughout this whole process and see you come out shining brighter than ever. She raised a remarkably strong and determined person. I imagine she must be just as remarkable. ❤

“There’s relief in the teeth of the kiss of cold steel” 😢 Well done Ren, you’ve outdone yourself with this one. 🤍🤍🤍

When I got diagnosed with ME last year the whole process and ignorance in the medical community is so incredibly shocking. Thanks so much for bringing public awareness to these horrible illnesses

i'm crying, i've never seen ME have such a big audience before 🥺 thank you!!! 💚💚💚

I have lived with severe Fibromyalgia for years, since before I was forty and I'll be 64 in August. Before that I had a life, good job, marriage, kids, home, gym for 17 years, snow skied 30, surfed 15 (did a serious scorpion on the bottom of the ocean,), that ended that and had walked great distances all my life. Slowly one by one it was all gone including 34 years of marriage. All because of the pain, the brain drain, exhaustion, inability to be me. I'm on so many meds and so sick and I look forward to the day I am no more. It's such a sad way to be. I'm raising my grandson whose ASD & ADHD and he keeps me going. He is the love of my life, but every day is torment. I get true hope from God but thank you Ren for understanding. No one else can who doesn't walk in our shoes. Keep on keeping on and you will reach great height's. When you do, don't let them change you. Fame is a complete mind f*ck. Stay real. God bless.

My comments on RU-vid are rare, but here is one. As someone with Fibromyalgia i love this song so much. Brought tears to my eyes. ❤

No other artist has made me hit replay more often.

Only just discovered this genius. Mesmerized by the music and beauty of the message. As a survivor of decades of depression: I can see the light now and you will, too.

Seventeen year old Ren was right, you are here to do something important, you are already doing it, thank you for everything Ren❤😊

❤ praying for No.1 ❤️ Can't even put into words how much this song and other's of Ren's has gave me and million's more hope 🖤❤️🖤

I am not a fan boy... I don 't folllow a football team but enjoy a good game. I've never had a favourite singer/band but have songs I prefer over others, Theres's no particular actor/actress I would specifically tune in to a film to see. However, I just feel a connection to what Ren does beyond anything i've experienced before, I genuinely look forward to every release.

The last days have been a wild ride with this song and the crazy chat at the premiere topping it off. Please do not forget about us, world! We are still here, even if hiding under the sheets, behind the curtains, in pain, in agony! Don't give up hope!

Dearest Ren, As a parent , my son has been through something very similar (started when he was 6 and he's now 18) and we are STILL trying to get help/answers. He has PANS which is a type of autoimmune disorder that results in basal ganglia encephalitis and are believed to be triggered primarily by infections or 'other' things like medications, certain vaccinations, etc. He had very abrupt onset OCD, oppositional disorder, anxiety and depression. We finally figured out what it was about 5 years ago and are still trying the different 'suggestions' for medication, IVIG, etc. Right now, his meds, take the edge off, but nothing is actually helping. It's very frustrating. But first we had to fly from Toronto to Edmonton because there was literally ONE medical doctor in Ontario who believed/treated PANS and they were backed up. When you put it in perspective of the money spent on male pattern baldness... it's insane and really pisses me off. We are literally at a standstill. Just surviving. Meanwhile he has not been able to attend high school and barely gets through the day because of his OCD. Anyway, I don't mean to whine, I just wanted to point out that I 'understand' (albeit from a different perspective) and I wish you all the best in your journey. Much love from Ontario! P.S. My whole family appreciates and respects you so much. We are so grateful that we came across your talent/genius/compassion/knowledge.

I have so much repect for artists that share their deepest thoughts and struggles, their heart on a plate infront of millions, making themselfes vulnerable because of their honesty, it's not just music, it's so much more 🫶

Great track, best of luck. 47 years, living with ME/CFS, POTS, hearing loss, PTSD and now erosive osteoarthritis. My body is failing bit by bit and I've gotten nothing but gaslighting and pain from the medical community. But I can still make music. Hope we can all find a way through this, hate to see my kid or his friends go through the same.

My best mate has been bed ridden for 2 years and in Australia they don’t recognise Lyme disease. Thanks ren I sent this to my boy and it helped him put shit on perspective. Thanks lad

"For those of you still living in the dark, hold on." You've done it again, brother. Every time you create, you reach out and touch millions of lonely wounds. Thanks for always talking to us through your music. Your heart and words do land and make a difference. 🙏🏻❤️

Oh Ren. Thank you for mentioning POTS. My beautiful daughter has been living with this for 5 years - came on at 19, like you... a good chunk of youth robbed away. I just sent this to her... I think it will give her HOPE. So much love to you, sweet Ren.

My blessings go to all you people who are sick/chronically ill right now. Life is fragile. Just keep going. Keep holding on. I'm sending all my love. God loves you as well. He will be beside you while you go through deep waters. Ren is awakening a community. A community that needs a voice! There's people who need help!

I've been struggling with depersonalization and derealization heavily for over 5 years now. Your music makes me feel like I'm not going crazy and that one day I will be back to "normal". It's an understatement to say thank you with how much you have recently helped me to evolve into the conscience I once was.

My 87 year old mother just got Lyme disease. Because of you Ren, I can understand more what she's dealing with. You help more people in so many ways, that you will never know. Thank you for everything you do. I'm so happy to know you are feeling better. We love you! ❤❤❤

Story time. A few days ago was my 39th birthday and me and a very close friend of mine (32) decided to have a celebratory acid trip. The trip was very intense, but also very good, there was a lot of laughter and love. When we were on our way down (still under it but definitely slowly coming out), we were listening to some songs on RU-vid and have stumbled completely randomly upon the video for Hi Ren. Listening to it for the first time our jaws remained open throughout. We were amazed how talented and versatile Ren is and how original and awesome his music is. Then we watched it for the second time, this time paying closer attention to the words. And that time we cried. A lot. Firstly we were stunned by how brutalny honest the song is, how much emotional effort it must have taken to write and produce it. But also both of us could really relate, though in different ways. For me the internal battle represented my own battles with self-loathing, debilitating need to please others, self-doubt that I'm still learning to navigate (especially in my artistic activities) and a possibly undiagnosed ADHD. For her it preresented her lifetime battle with psychological issues, depression, also undiagnosed problems she's still working out. In that context she really resonated with the internal battle of doubt in the validity of her mental issues, but also the inability to explain to other people what it's like to live inside her head. Over the following hours and days I listened to that song a couple dozen times (and other Ren's tracks, but none hit me as hard - and continues to do so every time I listen to it - as Hi Ren). Ren, I hope you are aware of how important your message is, and how appreciated your art is. You done good. You're a beautiful soul. Continue to be true to yourself and keep creating. We both wish you all the best, especially in your fight for health. Sending you a metric shitton of love from Poland.

Jesus is good Ren, believe me... your a strong soldier of God. Your music is changing people. For better. hope God keep bless you with your creativity and all your power. Love you!

My new favourite artist. There's this saying 'Art is how we decorate space. Music is how we decorate time.' You have managed to incorporate both art and music to create space in our time. ❤

It takes real bravery to turn your soul inside out and bare it, opening yourself up to judgement but vulnerability isn't a weakness. It's a strength. You inspire others to be strong with you, for you and for themselves.

Healthy People have no idea how many of us are going through this right now

Thanks for keeping that promise to your younger self REN , it is so powerful for those of us who suffer from these horrid illnesses to have an advocate like you out there. You are not one of the industry arse holes who as soon as they see fame buy a mountain of coke and play the money game. You are the genuine article...and it says so much about you to do this and the Chapters , man I related to so much I cried ( me a grown arse man...got M.E and Fibo at 20, got worse over the years and am now bed bound ). You're a good man Ren and I admire your humility and your talent in equal measure.

@RenMakesMusic you are one of the Heroes this God forsaken world needed. You answered The Call and we are here to support you in this journey. You are saving lives, bro! I pray that you will make it BIG! With all your projects and mostly, I pray for your health and for everyone who is struggling with something. 🫶🏻

Lets run this up. WOW im gonna have this on repeat all DAY!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I wish there will be more survivers like you and me. I was bed bound, dead written by doctors and yet here I stand again, dancing to your music. I celebrate you 👏

You once said, Ren, that it is--or should be--a duty of those of us who have never walked in this shadow to do more. Years before that, in a Lyme Disease Awareness Month video you said that those who were ill, and those who love them, needed to find a way to band together to demand better treatment. This song is helping accomplish those things. So proud of you, Ren.

I suffered from Sarcoidosis. Similarly, by the time the doctors figured out what was wrong with me, I couldn't walk. I ended up using a cane and/or wheelchair for 4 years, and needed both of my hips replaced. I completely agree, the entire experience left me with hope that I try to share as much as I can. Thanks, Ren.

My girlfriend and best friend died almost one year ago, she had Lymes and for 7 years got almost zero help from the medical system here in Spain, your story resonates so much with hers. I am so happy to know Ren, that you will always champion this issue, please don't ever stop pushing for more awareness and recognition in the medical industry for this and other illnesses, it is so so needed. Thank you for being you, for your music, for the beautiful soul you are and share with us all.

Top 40, here we come!!!!

I discovered your music shortly after I discovered that I have an incurable degenerative connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome as well as other comorbidities. I found out after getting hurt at work, and the doctors told me I had a massive cyst in my spinal column and multiple degenerative discs at the age of 27. I've been unemployed for three years, unable to work, trying to find a solution to the constant pain. I've really connected to your music, and I respect how much you're shining a light on invisible illnesses. Much love ❤️

How powerful is it to twist "lord forgive me," to, "lord I forgive you?" Saying you forgive any sort of higher power that never seemed listen during the worst times... This just gets better with every listen. ❤

I know that the message is an important one, but can we talk about the music production?! Fresh af ❤ this guy

This guy is brilliant. He's changing his world, which then positively impacts ours. Amazing.

"Everything I've been through is yours to hold" HOLY SHIT how I wish someone had said this to me years ago. Thank you Ren

The backing track and production are out of this world. Seriously, one of the best performed and produced songs I have in my collection; and I'm nearly 71 and still own 45s of the Beatles, so you're in exalted company my young friend.

I just watched Unrest Ren. What an amazing documentary! Thank you so much for everything you do and being a voice for the missing! #Unrest #RenMakesStuff

I’m not a fan of this genre but it came up as an add so I listened. I’ve had one of my worst weeks. You say hopefully one day new meds will exist, strangely if watched that happen with Crohn’s meds. Sadly the new drugs didn’t get developed in time for me. I’ve also saw that new medication is linked with future effects. It’s nice to be able to reassure newly diagnosed patients that they are not going to end up like me. For me I hid my pain and illness from my parents (mom was a still face mum) I partially hid the pain for fear but I also thought it was normal I’d tell people I had a stitch, it also was seemed normal to have a hyperactive gut on holiday because I was sensitive to the change in water from caravan site to site. Because it seem normal to me I wasn’t diagnosed fast enough I was diagnosed on a youth group camping trip in France and a boy I liked found me curled up in the foetal position he begged me to go to the site clinic he got me to go because if I didn’t he would carry me; something I loath (I have had a medical phobia all my life I was scared I’d be seen as a malingerer despite pain I would question my pain think it would go away and that it was just my laziness ). Despite being scared of doctors, I also had a fear of being carried or lifted. So at 16 my crush is going to carry me to the clinic. Obviously I did not want to be picked up so we got to the clinic next day. I was sent to the hospital for surgery and was told I had Crohn’s. When I got back to the UK, my GP f up by not translating the French diagnosis. He instead of putting me in hospital, started me on a GI referral and they did so many tests which word necessary is in France. They had found out what was wrong sadly because I hid it for so long without treatment. I ended up needing major surgery, because I did it for so long the surgery had to remove 6 feet of gut. Now after more was removed I suffer from a short gut no gallbladder and according to my surgeon my appendix had been obliterated. Sadly my issues has left me in a bed tomb because my issues are structural there is nothing fixable. So when newbies see that it can be scary but I am so happy to explain there are new meds now and it will hopefully be better for them. I’m not going to ring up everything but I hate when people feel bad for me. When he asked how I was I said bad and good. He asked for the bad, I told him about some hard stuff he then asked for the good I have a home 3 kids who love me and show it a husband who loves me and has for 25 years. Plus I have loads of hobbies I don’t think he expected that but I know I’m lucky despite my circumstances. I just have to “love my little life” After my intestines were chopped ( I only wanted a tidy but they gave me a pixie cut) I was sobbing a bit my backside hurt so bad so I picked up my Bible and almost immediately found. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 New International Verse 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. I helped me to accept help the other ladies on the ward got worried and pressed for a nurse. It was tough explaining 😳 but I was able to because of that verse. TLDR I never asked for help and it limited how well I could get, because I hid everything I needed lots of gut removed which there is no fix if you get bile malabsorption! It’s nice telling those younger they have new meds.. having a high pain tolerance sucks, you can get too Ill for treatments. At the moment I so pale to the point I think the camera has wonky lighting like a flash but when I see my self nest to someone I realise I look like the photo isn’t overexposed I am as white as a clown doll. I promise I will stream it a lot.

Ren, you're the most underrated artist to ever exist, your music is incredible in millions of ways and hundreds of us are healing from it! Love from 🇮🇳

As someone with chronic illess and the pain and confusion that can come with it, your songs and stories have given me hope and answers. I know you don't believe you deserve all the love you get but my gratitude and respect is very real and very deep.

One MILLION views baby! Congrats Ren! I've said it before, your life may be tragic, but the soundtrack is fucking awesome. Love you brother!

Thank you for this (and all of your music). I’ve dealt with fibromyalgia and degenerative arthritis in my lower spine since I was 17. These invisible diseases, especially at that age, make it so hard to be taken seriously. I have like, 2 friends, and I’m now 40 because people don’t understand that you’re ready to go out and do things but then the pain starts, or the fatigue, or the demons in your head start because you’re too exhausted to shut them out. There’s been so many times I wished my disease showed. Your music has brought me the understanding companion I’ve needed my whole life. Thank you ♥️

Master beat maker, pain medicator, darkness vindicator, accelerated pace maker. You are a gift, Ren. You fight the good fight and mean it. You are so appreciated. 💖

This is for everyone. It gives hope to "invisible" patients and teaches others empathy.

So I was super late to the Reniverse... first heard his stuff a few months ago. Since then I've been chewing through his insanely deep and versatile discography... and to be completely honest... I'm pissed off. HOW is it that Ren hasn't blown up everywhere... how is it that an old geezer like me knows more about him than all the young folks I know. Given that he's the most talented "New" artist (yea I know... late to the game) I've heard since Amy Winehouse (and the more I hear the more I'm sure of that assessment)... all those kids should be going "Ok X'er... we've known about this guy forever". The ONLY conclusion I can come to is that because he's self published and self promoted he's getting blocked by the industry... he SHOULD be getting "new artist of the year" or "breakout artist of the year" at every award show... but no... #@%# crickets from the music "industry" (at least here in the US). To channel my inner coach from Letterkenny... "It's $#@(ing EMBARRASSING!"

Iv been fighting with autoimmunity & going from doctor to doctor to doctor for 10 years now. Iv never heard someone speak to my struggle before.. Ren speaks like im saying words that iv never been able to come up with myself. Words iv desperately wanted to, & needed to say. Needed to try & make other people understand the struggle i was going through, am going through every day.. i finally feel ‘heard’ through his words..

Favorite part of this is at the part where he sings "Lord, I forgive you." You can hear the smile in his singing.

1 million views in 5 days is incredible! 🎉 Glad to see people drawn to your story and message 🫶🏻

Love this song! I relate to Ren I was also diagnosed with Lyme diseases but luckily the doctors I had caught it early even though they had only 3 other cases of it in their career. I try to educate people as much as I can on it specifically since I was one of the lucky ones!

Had ME for 40 years. How I have missed this until now. Thank You so much. The words are beyond anything I could imagine. The Music and Vibe, Perfect. #pwME

As a singer songwriter who currently battling with mast cell activation syndrome, POTS and other issues the Doctors don't have the funding to look into I absolutely love this and will be sharing all over. I have improved slightly and able to play some casual concerts now but the last 3 years have been hell and I also had stem cell therapy to try and help me to walk properly again with no help from the government. Let's get this charting big! Thanks for all you do. Love and spoons xx

I only just discovered your music and your story about a month ago. I've struggled to comment on videos because I've felt profoundly moved by your personal story and music. You are an insanely talented person. More than that, though, you seem to be a genuinely kind human being who is driven, ambitious, and a true warrior in this life. I scroll through the comments on your videos as I watch, and it's the same every time. So many people thank you for giving voice to their pain, fears, and loneliness. Time and time again, people have said they were so close to giving up until they heard a lyric or a melody that helped them. You may not single-handedly defeat all evil in this world, but even one life you have changed has a ripple effect that can change the whole world. One person that you helped can go on to help many others, who can go on to help many others. I am currently in school for psychology. I am working to become a behavior therapist for adults with developmental and intellectual disabilities. What discovering your story and music has done for me is to highlight the areas in this profession that need change. More compassion, more empathy, more LISTENING. I plan to use this lesson to help others. I can be more compassionate and empathetic in my own work, and I can work to raise awareness within the system as well. I have worked with people with disabilities for over twenty years, and I know there are not enough advocates to speak on issues that need to be driven into the public eye. I have an astounding amount of respect for you and your work. You advocated for yourself, and you advocate for others. You have done amazing things in this world, sir, even if you don't always see the results. I believe you will do even more. Sending love and well-wishes as you continue your journey, and I look forward to continuing my journey into the rabbit hole.

1 million 🎉 let's push this higher RENegates 🔝🙌🔥

This is weirdly specific. But the references hit every time. Not only from superhero comics but I’ve heard multiple King Arthur lines in different songs and every time, it throws me for a loop. In the best way. ❤️

Lord I forgive you, Lord I forgive you... Why does this artist always make me cry damn it?

Bro, I understand how fulfilling being on the mainstream charts must mean to an artist but trust me. How your art inspires people with your message of HOPE, is more important. Your authentic transparency has become a beacon to millons of people and I would bet that means more to you than anything else. You have the greatest gift, making people believe in hope again. Thank you.

when I first got sick as a teen, I scoured the internet for musicians & artists that I could relate to. There were very few. Being young & sick is a horror show, and hearing ren put the experience into words has been so healing. Thank you for trusting us with your pain & your story.

Modern day shakespeare. Though, I shouldn't use another's name to describe Ren for he is in a league of his own. Banger after banger he never fails to keep pumping the absolute deep and perfect personal rhymes. Props to you man, you're a living legend and my words are never going to be enough to describe the pure and raw talent that you are. Keep going legend! o7 (salute)

After you told your life journey in such honesty, this song became even more meaningful. I'm 33 and still hoping for a magic cure. Living from disability "benefit" and wishing one day to live again ❤

I cannot thank you enough for this. I'm 36. I've spent 20 years deteriorating and being ground to dust by pain, medical gaslighting and mental health shit. You have mad talent and a range that astounds me... but this song, this video, the raw and realness... I KNOW you know what real pain is, I KNOW you know how it drives you insane, you've told us so succinctly and explained hell well enough for the message to get out. Silent diseases that eat at us, feed on our misery and leave us drowning in a wasteland of pain are being brought to the masses, by you, and I hope you are so fucking mad proud of yourself man. Thank you Ren. I was a fan before, now I'm a fucking devotee. Best wishes 🫶🏻🖤

REN, dear boy. I can relate so much to this song… But I just fight. Can’t find the strength to transform the pain into beauty like you do. Because my fight is for my kids. Your music is like a playground for my brain and my soul. Thank you. So glad you’re better now. ❤

You're not alone brother. I walk those same steps, still walking down that same crooked path looking for help..hope, but found nothing or anyone who could ever offer help. I had it all....and then this illness came and it took Everything! I begged God for healing. I begged God for mercy. I begged him for death. What he gave me was another day...and then another one. 3,285 days later I'm still here and im still fighting. Most importantly, he brought me to your music. So I've made my own trail through the damn dark forest covered in brambles and spikes. I trip, fumble and fall down often. I look up at the dark canopy and pray to God, "Lord, help me find the strength to get back up." The devil in my thoughts telling me "stay down stupid girl" but I do not listen. I use what little energy I have to push further, step by step, day by day. I am not weak, I am savage. I do not fear death, I allow him to walk by my side. I will not surrender. I will not succumb. And when I make it out of this madness, I will shout my testimony to the world. Thank you Ren for sharing your story with the world. The pain, the exhaustion, the insomnia, the brain turning into a piece of shit and the endless years of seeking out medical help with nothing and no one who can help. Your still pushing and it helps me keep pushing. Thank you brother.❤

For months now, everytime I hunt for the usb cable, I singout ' Power 🎶' Power, What you want is Power 🎶'. Infected truly.

Congratulations on troubles reaching number 10 in the singles download charts 🥳❤

Having watched all of the chapters of your story and now this... Ren, you are a fucking inspiration. Please, never stop providing a voice for those that don't have one for whatever reason.

2 years ago, 18, i got shizophrenia, i was supposed to have my first amateur K1 fight a month after but i spent it in the psych ward, then i had a fight with dad, weny back to mothers, started working for 6minths,changed jobs, went bsck to hospital for another 3 momths, let, barely wotked for the entire year but 3 mimths,got bsck to hospital for another momth and ive been basically sitting in the bed for 7 minths "working" on copywritting. Basically 2 years watsted. Its tough. But im still young. Yet it seems.scary to think ill have this ilness possibly my entire life and there is only coping from it for me with some periods f good. Thank you Ren. Feeling seeen and glad to know somebodys done had it worse.