BUY ON ITUNES: smarturl.it/ceg_207
"Research Me Obsessively"
Starring Brittany Snow
Written by Adam Schlesinger, Jack Dolgen, and Rachel Bloom
Anna:
Hey
What are you doing for the next, like, 13 hours?
Don’t do anything healthy
Don’t be productive
Give in to your desire…
RESEARCH ME OBSESSIVELY
UH-HUH
FIND OUT EVERYTHING YOU CAN ABOUT ME
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA DIG FOR ME RELENTLESSLY
UH-HUH
USING EVERY AVAILABLE SEARCH TOOL AND ALL FORMS OF SOCIAL MEDIA
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA LOOK AT MY INSTAGRAM
BUT IT’S PRIVATE
SO GOOGLE ME UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHERE I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL
AND THEN SET UP A FAKE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT USING THE NAME AND THE PHOTO OF SOMEONE THAT WENT TO MY HIGH SCHOOL
AND HOPE THAT I REMEMBER THAT PERSON A LITTLE BIT
THEN REQUEST ACCESS TO MY PRIVATE INSTAGRAM FROM THE FAKE ACCOUNT
AND IN THE MEANTIME SCOUR MY WORK INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT
'CAUSE THAT ONE’S PUBLIC.
RESEARCH ME OBSESSIVELY
UH-HUH
FIND AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE ON GOOGLE MAPS
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA HUNT FOR ME TIRELESSLY
UH-HUH
IT’S NOT STALKING CAUSE THE INFORMATION IS ALL TECHNICALLY PUBLIC.
CHECK OUT EVERY GUY I USED TO DATE
AND DEDUCE WHO BROKE UP WITH WHO
BASED ON THE HESITATION IN OUR SMILES.
So many unanswered questions.
Did I go to the University of Texas?
Am I an EMT?
Is that my obituary in which I’m survived by my loving husband Eddie of 50 years, children Susan and Matthew, and grandchild Stephanie? Wait, no, that’s just all people with my same name. OR IS IT? Pay only $9.99 on a background check website to know for sure!
SO DON’T STOP JUST RESEARCH ME OBSESSIVELY
UH-HUH
AND IN LIEU OF FLOWERS DONATE TO OTHER ME’S FAVORITE CHARITY.
RESEARCH ME JUST RESEARCH ME
AND RESEARCH ME
AND RESEARCH ME
OOPS. IT’S THREE DAYS LATER.
9 дек 2016
