GREAT review, GREAT suggestions. I really like your idea about the powermad lockdowns, but that standard exists somewhere else, with a different community leader. Colin has honest and fair concerns about CyberFrog, and yes, his disrespect is a blow to his ego and a lower reason for wanting him to leave. Colin is manipulative and myopic, but he isn't a villain. You'll see. Bob's death and the pain the community feels for his loss is alluded to at least three times. Once, directly after his death, by his compatriots who acknowledge his heroic sacrifice from their bunker. Two, by Colin, who says that his loss was a shot to the gut for the community. And then again by Heather, who tells CyberFrog that the picnic was approved of in order to help the mental well being of the grief stricken community, which Heather doesn't seem to want to dwell on. CyberFrog missed a week of time after being shot. "Time passes. Wounds begin to heal." CyberFrog's wounds, and the Community's wounds. He spent that time lurking in the lake nearby. Lily stopped leaving camp to find her father, which was a regular quest for her. She's staying with her mom until things get back to normal. One thing you missed was the turning point, in which CyberFrog realizes he MUST intervene. Heather Swain's confession that she lives in a state of constant fear, which as we know from Bloodhoney, is very much unlike the girl she once was, causes CyberFrog to know he's still going to have to fight, but at the same time, makes him want to hide the terrifying fact from her that the Vyzpzz came back to retrieve the remains. He doesn't want to add to her worries, and doesn't know how to tell her, so he's carrying it around inside of him, distracting himself with his bonding time with Lily. I really love the idea of the community standing by CyberFrog and rejecting Colin, but: Colin wants to keep them safe. CyberFrog wants to take them to war. We aren't there yet. I can't have CyberFrog loving The People just because they choose to go HIS way instead of Colin's. Not even out of affection for Heather Swain. It isn't heroic. Afterall, Colin's kept them safe for 20 years under a standard of freedom, but obedience to the rules of survival. They're free to leave, as Lily shows every single day, but they aren't guaranteed their safety. That's why they've installed countermeasures, like the underground shelter, an armed militia, and The Rules. It was all going fine until CyberFrog showed up. He's gotta go, in Colin's opinion. CyberFrog's love for humanity comes from Lily, who he's only just met, and the relatively kind home he's found within the community, much of which plays soccer with him and feeds him. In any case, they aren't livestock, and the Vyzpzz are scum. I'm going to watch your video two or three more times. It's concentrated writing school. Thank you, Lit Dev!
Yup. Rekt Planet was fun and I'm looking forward to three. My main purpose wasn't to tell you what to do, but to point out what I thought was missing or could have added a little extra depth and dramatic weight. The changes I made were more like examples to illustrate what I was talking about. It's easy to complain, but I think it's a little more helpful if I point out what I'm talking about lol.
@@LiteratureDevil Can i have your Opinion on the 'Why modern Films are more-often bad than ever'-Take presented somewhere in the Middle of the newest Union-Video by "Some More News"?
Hey LD, glad to see you're still kicking about. I still rewatch your old videos on what makes heroes and villains, heroes and villains. Glad you're doing well.
...Can i have your Opinion on the 'Why modern Films are more-often bad than ever'-Take presented somewhere in the Middle of the newest Union-Video by "Some More News"?
I love that this video came out. Though I find myself expressing doubts about reviewing something one chapter at a time. On one hand, everything published should be open to critique. On the other hand, when you only have two parts of a multi-part story, you lack full context and your judgements could end up being way off. It makes me wonder if people should bother with this kind of structure.
Happy that you are making uploads again! Will double check your channel to see if I missed anything. With all the negatives and corrections that you have Blood Honey (and you skipped a few; thought you were going light on it), I was very surprised when you used the coda in that book to give the book an overall positive rating, instead of mediocre or negative. Your positive rating did not fit with adding up all of the rest of your review. Several of us have questioned (quietly) if you gave it a positive in the end only to cover-over the negatives throughout that review in order to save yourself from backlash from Big Names On High and sycophantic minions. It would be hard to blame you. Anyone even neutral towards the central clique of CG is treated as an enemy.
I don't care about any backlash. It's just I've read a LOT of indie fiction. I've been through creative writing classes and I've been a patron of indie works for I'd say about a decade or so. And I've seen some real horror shows lol. Despite the flaws, EVS' Cyberfrog books are actually among the top tier indie works I've encountered.
@@LiteratureDevil That's good!--not caring about potential backlash. I just saw today some sycophant referring to people who are dropping CF, no longer interested or whatever, as "enemies." That's not a healthy fan. People must love what he loves or he deems them enemies.
@@JamesDomenicoGrabban81 You're mistaken. I understand why you might think that.👍 I saw lots of need for an edits in CF1+Ashcan. I was surprised by the end conclusion of LD's first review. By then, I had seen more of CG fan/customers (and at times the creators) who will go after anyone who isn't 100% positive on their favourite books. This kind of reaction was especially towards those who have been in CG for a while (rather than towards people "outside" CG who review all kinds of indies). With so much hostility towards anyone who doesn't "tow the line," many people have been careful with what they say. Like I first posted, I wouldn't blame LD. It's nice to see his reply that he wasn't shading his words in the end. Edit: P.S. Until people get to know me, most of my writing comes across too blunt. That may be where you're getting the "from emotion" impression. I've heard it before & it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.
@@JamesDomenicoGrabban81 Oh, thanks for writing. Were you the guy I was going to find another review for? Thanks for the reminder! While I'm on YT, I'll do the search. You might assume all kinds of things, but that's your imagination. I'm not a fan of Tim Lim, personally. I dont' mean his art, I mean him. I don't do anything FOR Iconic. I speak for myself. Take my statements at face value regarding LD's first review. Anything other than that is your imagination.
@@JamesDomenicoGrabban81 Oh! I was referring to the negative comments the LD made and if I remember my previous comments, some critique from another reviewer. If fond him, too. He did a series, I think. It's ... Mike www.youtube.com/@MichaelJPartyka He showed me things I totally missed. Also "Global Frequency" ("Neff") knows his stuff and opened my eyes to things about art. That clued me in to where being fancy and, my terms, "showing off" with the art needs to not interfere with the storytelling. So, those are fresher in my mind in general. This happens a few times in CF1, but that shouldn't be used to deny the general skill EVS has. YEah! He's very talented and well-practiced. It's too late for me to do a review of CFBH. No one would care what I'd say. BUT, if you just want a positive comment, here's a change of heart I had from neg to pos: I saw some inked B&W of EVS's and it was too detailed for me to make things out at most scales on my screen. It had to be a specific magnification & making it bigger while getting further from my screen didn't help. There was no depth. It was the DPS where CF wakes up after healing for 20 years. That disappointed me after seeing him work so carefully on some stuff. THEN, I found out that he was doing the lack of depth on purpose for the sake of saving time! He'd leave all the depth to the colorist. Oh! That makes sense! Instead of slowing down even further when all that detail takes a ton of time, he's good on both sides---having the skill to do line weights to create depth, the talent to see that in his head before drawing, and lastly choosing not do the line weights just to move a little more quickly because the colorist will do the depth. That's both talent/skill and a little smart. The only downside is that I wouldn't be interested in an original B&W, but I could never afford one so it'll go to someone whose can enjoy it without the depth. Wins all around! Edit: I know it was a conversation w/someone else where I repeated a sentiment from another creator. That creator has problems hearing all positive or all negative from a review. He trusts some mention of the opposite when a review leans one way. I agree with him. When I reviewed his book, which was pretty good, I made sure to remember the problem I found in it AND how that problem could be improved, lol. So I know where you're coming form. In these comments, you're seeing only a slice of my thoughts. Thanks for clarifying.
" no one seems to care about Bob he was just an Expendable Pawn 14:54 sacrificed to show us the deadly nature of the Vespas hashtag Justice for Bob and don't worry the problem isn't about 15:01 Bob specifically but his death does lead us to a few more things like reminding Heather's community of the Vespas threat 15:08 which leads to the community doing nothing and this even includes Colin for some reason other than cyrofoak joining 15:15 and Colin threatening then make sure to keep things running business as usual which of course leads us to why some of 15:21 these scene might feel dramatically light " Yeah, as you describe them, this lack of reaction (mourning, fear that the Vyzpzz had found the camp) makes no sense and seems inhuman, despite having fallen into complacency. The original ending is so different from your edit version. Heck, that's not an edit. That's a full rewrite! Giving him passion instead of mere duty humanizes him. Yes, there is duty in love, but duty that never intersects with the passion becomes merely mechanical, giving us no reason to associate with CF as a character. He's just a machine. In that sense, the real EVS version is written like he's a machine that sees us as objects, but then it creates a "who cares?" character.
