RJ Walker - Deceit & I 

i knew this was going to be a good bit when "like caine was in the corner taking notes" elicited an audible reaction from the audience. it's still a video that i come back to watch over and over again.

+Khyrberos while reading it, I got misty eyed. Hearing it, I cried like a baby.

Me too. It was presented like a comedy bit, but I quickly realized it was not. Like a baby....god damn.

Only the living are lucky enough to cry, what those parents wouldve given to hear their baby cry again.

Khyrberos i listen to this literally daily and it's ALWAYS heart wrenching

This is the line that changed the feals of the story

Shrike i watched this the day it was posted and i still come back and watch it every couple of months.

@@pepperbrown6667 As do I.

Can you guys please explain the last phrase?

@@AA-kz1tl "slept like a baby" is a common expression, at least where i'm from, and the regular context people use it in is to say "I slept well"

@@AA-kz1tl the phrase is a powerful analogy. Typically when you say you slept like a baby it means you slept well. But in this context it’s a play on words. He lied to “deceit” and said he slept well. But what he really means is that he now feels dead inside, and when he says he “slept like a baby” he means he slept like the dead baby that died in its sleep. He was twisting the phrase.

+Stacy Raven Wow. I've never thought about it like that. You're right. I heard this for the first time yesterday and it's still ringing in my ears... It has changed me. I shared it with a couple of friends and ... they debated whether or not he did the right thing. ??? Am I wrong? That wasn't the point, was it? I felt so far beyond that. What's done is done. He made magic and turned unthinkable tragedy into something beautiful... untouchable. I don't see it as anything other than a miraculous piece of art.

I will never forget this man and the things he has said. It still lives with me and haunts me.

Would you say you have been... deceived?

I'm gonna need you to cut that post haste XD

I'm sorry to hear that.

RIGHT and then i heard this i was like weeping by the end

I actually failed to catch the reference?

+WOLVESVIDS - The story of Cain and Abel is likely the reference. It's a Bible thing.

+Osixjoh thank you!

+WOLVESVIDS Sorry for the late reply... its a reference to the Biblical story of Cain and Abel, where Cain was jealous of his brother Abel and killed him, and when god asks Cain where his brother is, Cain lies and says "am I my brother's keeper?" Basically in christian theology it was the first murder committed, which makes the metaphor so strong. The poet feels as though his lie, a lie told because he knew the truth would be tantamount to murder (the suicide of the parents), was the embodiment of deceit, so much so that Cain was taking notes...

+jordandlee22 thank you so much!!!

+Steve Cole No kidding.

This type of thing almost killed me and my instructor moved into teaching for a reason so heartbreaking I don't even think I should post it without some kind of warning and I don't know how to do the thing where you hide your post as a spoiler or whatever

jfc you guys have no mental support in that line of work? is this 1916? I have no words... Just wanted to add: -It's as ok for you to live out both the physical and emotional room you take, as it is for everyone. It's part of the package. Pitty, that some have to stand on and crush others just to feel relevant. -It's absolutely necessary to say no to what is beyond your limits, rather than letting ourselves be violated silently, because that stuff piles up and tears us down. take care stranger

@@masterxyr we are SUPPOSED to be offered 1 to 3 days off health leave when we lose an infant or child on the job and are offered to speak to a counselor. But a lot of that falls through the cracks especially in private businesses. I mean....that's your job, ya know?

@@Fresh_Biscuits sure, business as usual, but it's not, isn't it? It's riding at the edge of the distant and lonely cliffs of life and death. every day. I really really wish people in your line of work had heaps of support, and you have my unreserved respect and admiration. Hopefully you get to kick your work boots off at say the Seychelles as often as you possibly can :) (which I know you don't, and oof) tata

@@masterxyr thank you very much. The kind words mean a lot.

@@Fresh_Biscuits I really meant them. unfortunately, the world we live in does not recognise effort and true value enough. take care xx

Reading your story has me in tears. I'm so sorry you experienced this and nothing I can say will make it any better but thank you for sharing your story with us. I can't imagine how you feel/felt but your explanation of the experience as a mother made me very emotional.

+Blake Lively Thanks man. That 2nd bout was honestly my favorite one. All the teams were mathed out so we could just chill and do poems. Those are the best. No pressure, just poems. And those group pieces we did that bout were honestly the poems we came there to do.

+RJ Walker It was a fantastic bout. I hope I can represent with a team again and get another chance to slam with you again!

But you drive the ambulance, it goes brrr wee woo

Repost on imgur brought me here.

holy shit same here fuckin 5 years, later thats wild

I have an album of studio recorded poems at www.rjwalker.bandcamp.com that is free (pay what you want) perhaps I'll throw Deciet on there as a bonus track when I have time to get back into the studio.

+RJ Walker That would be awesome, thank you. I'll pop over to your site and have a gander. Keep up the great work!

+RJ Walker Thank you ~ Sharing the link.

I disagree, myself. I feel like the audience reacted so powerfully it was audible to great lines gave them more weight.

That's fair. Some people also feel more comfortable having a laugh track in sitcoms so they know which bits are funny. To each their own.

“Deceit And I, Have a strictly professional relationship, With benefits.. We’ve been seeing each other for years- Since before I told my aunt that her birthday gift was still in the mail- Since before I told my bishop that I never touched myself- But deceit and I started getting really serious back in my ambulance days when we worked together- We hit the sirens and drove to the trailer park we called “Wyoming”- Because nothing good ever happened there- We got the call at 3:00 am: “Unresponsive infant” The parents stood over us large and stiff and weeping- Beneath us a child so cold and blue he could have been winter- Deceit and I did CPR for a lifetime- CPR always lasts a lifetime- But we knew from the beginning this blue baby boy had been dead for who knows how long- There was no crib in this one bedroom trailer- These people with mountains for bodies kept the baby in their own bed and smothered him in their sleep- What a horror it is- Deceit handed me the clipboard and my tongue grew thorns as I wrote “SIDS” as the chief complaint- And I told a lie the size of god’s hands- As long and as dark as the midnight between stars- “it’s not your fault” I lied “sometimes they just stop breathing in the night” “we call it sudden infant death syndrome and we didn’t know what caused it” And mother mountain fell to her knees and shrieked so loud I thought the earth would retreat beneath us- A lie this big could move mountains but the truth could obliterate them- The truth was a leather belt tied around a ceiling fan- The truth was all the whiskey in the world thirsty for his blood and new dead drunk to call home- I can live with the guilt of a lie but I could not live with the guilt of their guilt- So I lied- Like Cain was in the corner taking notes- “you made the right decision” lied the medical director- “good job” lied the nurses on my way out- When I woke up deceit asked - “how are you feeling” “I’m fine” - I lied “didn’t have nightmares”- “no”- I lied- “I slept like a baby” -RJ Walker

+Jordan M. Or... that it was a well written story about being human that had an effect on you?

You should probably read more poetry then

Awesome! Thanks for checking me out on RISK!

+Verania Hinojosa He was an emergency responder, and one night he got a call about a baby that wasn't breathing. The parents had accidentally smothered the baby in their sleep, but he didn't want them to be in more pain than they were in, so he performed CPR on a dead infant and told the parents it wasn't their fault.

and "Deceit" was a thing he had done many times, that was the first in his job, and it was one of many.