Runaway Husbands: Wife Abandonment vs. A Typical Divorce 

This has been hell on Earth so thank you for this work. I feel less alone.

Dear Vikki, your book had a huge impact on my life. My ex-husband was my best „friend“, funny, loving, dependable, a great communicator ......until the day he decided to tell me he did not even like me and was leaving. I was so traumatized that even with therapy, my life has never been the same. People really do not understand the trauma, pain, shame, shock, feelings of altered reality. To this day even psychologists are shocked when I share my story. You really are the first author that to my knowledge listed exactly what I felt and experienced. Thank you for writing your book.

I’m in tears after listening to this because it’s everything that I’m feeling. My husband left me 3 years ago. Zero contact for 22 months. I am praying for my marriage to be restored. We aren’t divorced. He has just refused to see me or talk to me in almost 23 months. It is a pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. He left me for another woman. Never saw any of this coming after 21 years of marriage .

Wow this is so profound. My husband abandoned me and our daughter when she was 3 months old, almost 3 years ago. I have discovered so much that he has lied to me about, and he has found ways to twist the situation to blame me. I was the best wife I could be. I know it was not me. In my situation, instead of just putting an end to it so I can have closure, he won't file for divorce even though he has made no efforts to reconcile. He recently told my father he misses him, but again zero attempt to make this situation right - which would be at the very least filing the divorce. I'm pretty positive infidelity has played a role. So he literally has checked out, but keeps the door open by not legally ending our nonexistent marriage at this point. No attempts to connect with our daughter, no financial help, he left me with a lot of debt, and destroyed the community we built together. It has been very difficult for me to recover from emotionally but I am now on my way. Abandonment is awful.

That happened to me 27 years ago. There is no way a person can explain the devastation this causes. I have made a constructive life for myself since then. However, it has been difficult getting there. The worst part was the deception and I questioned my own self worth and even today I hold back from trusting people. Please don’t tell me to get over it. I have done the best I can. I have a family, children and am a grandmother. I am thankful for all of it. However, what happened 27 years ago traumatized me and my family.

I am in tears. Every word you said is true by all means. Such a things shakes n breaks your core.

This is the first time I'm hearing about this syndrome. You're so right, people don't get it. My husband walked out 2 weeks ago, no explanation, just left. I'm so frustrated and confused. You hit the nail on the head with this video. Thank you.

All the wife abandonment syndrome matches what I feel too. So now I know he is abandoning the family, it’s not just a divorce

Everyone thinks I’m crazy. It’s like being gaslit by almost your entire social network

You put it there 100% . After 30 years for me , never see it coming , morning nice caring husband, evening wants to leave this marriage . The only way to move on in my case is Justice. Wife abandonment syndrome is a crime against family, and against marriage. I will fight it till the end .Guess what, when the woman is gone and he can’t get his hands on the money because of a prenup, he wants to come back . My daughter ( his biological daughter) tells me not to take him back !! I will never take a criminal back into my life . Karma will be served.

As a law student, I was quite bewildered when my instructor encouraged the class to read your book to provide an emotional insight about spousal abandonment, since lawyers are usually more interested in the legal side of things. However, I found your book extremely touching. Reading the book and all the comments under this video made me cry, even though I have never been at the same situation. It was very powerful, very touching and very heartbreaking at the same time. Definitely gives me the motivation and resolve to work harder to support these women.

I'm going through all this and have been going through it for 7 months now. I'm still crying and trying to cope because I've got two small kids. He is taking his share of the care, but of course not 50%. He seems to be free, wants to be free, says he does not miss me, and we have been together 22 years. I still cannot believe he did such a thing to me and to our familiy. His reasons are silly and do not justify such a decision. The lockdown has made things even worse. I've got a lot of people around me, and I know it's important, but still it does not seem to be enough. I'm still flabbergasted.

I am 3 years post abandonment. My self esteem is on the floor. The other woman gives him something I could not status and money. He abandoned us brutally and called into question half my life. He is now marrying her. I have struggled with the discard and him never speaking to me again and how he stopped being a parent and leaving me with financial woes. So my fine loving upstanding well off husband does not exist. This man is a fake and she doesn’t have a clue. Good luck to her. I have just bought a house for me and the kids and we are doing ok. I have figured out two things. Not everything is my fault and the other is He is not normal. Most people work at relationships and I have learned 25 years of me doing all the work was not healthy.

I can relate to this so much. My husband left about 2 months ago. I didn’t know spouse abandonment was a real thing. So grateful to have found this community. It’s hard trying to my story/ feelings to ppl that can’t relate.

You nailed it !!! Gosh I could have used this talk 5 years ago when my word was falling apart Thank you!

Thank you Vikki, your book has literally saved my life over the last ten months. 25 years and he told me it was over while I was working on a puzzle and asked what he wanted for dinner. In hindsight, there were definitely signs over the last five years, I knew he was depressed and tried to help him, encourage him to go to counseling etc. Until that day when he said I was the one making him physically and emotionally sick for years and he would never be better unless he left. What??? I'm trying to forgive myself for what I missed, what I could have done, and what I should not have allowed during the years when his depression got worse. Divorce only took four months but I am still reeling from the trauma. Luckily I've completly cut him out of my life which helps. I'm confident, financially secure on my own but still cry every day.

OMG, everything you said was so true. It almost 6 years and it still affects me, just getting out of wonderland. Everyone think I should have been over it by now and I thought I was but I realized I buried myself with work no to deal with it. So, I had to stop and face it head on and I'm getting better each day.

Read your book, could not believe how it resonated with me. With my husband thirty seven and a half years, he abandoned me in April and I went into utter and complete shock. He also preplanned all of this while I was in a medical crisis, so much was happening behind my back, so many red flags but I was in too much physical pain to be able to comprehend them. Thank you for your words which have been so helpful. And yes, there are women who do this to their husbands as well. If you are going to end it, be respectful,treat a person with dignity, don’t lie and scheme behind their back.

My ex and I had a deep, loving marriage but it was nonetheless imperfect and we had stuff to work on. But he NEVER said there was a problem with us or how he felt about me. He had self esteem issues and didn't treat himself well ( he was very self destructive) and he also had work issues he needed to fix. But did he try and work on any of that or communicate with me? Nope. Instead he just abandoned me and essentially got rid of all my belongings. He isolated our daughter away from not only me but all her friends as well as contact with my Mom. I'm not divorced and have sole custody, and my daughter and I are trying to heal. Meanwhile he pays for his nearly 20 yr younger gf's family's expenses and she has control over his bank account, and he has yet to send a penny for child support. SO to anyone on here claiming these are just men that want out, this is not how you 'get out'. I have a ton of flaws but could never do this to a human being, esp one I had loved so deeply for so long.

I'm in this mess right now. My husband abandoned me 10 days ago. I already have ptsd from my son passing away, this has put me over the edge

I’ve been going through this for 4 months. I always want him to snap out of it and come back the man he used to be. But it’s impossible, he’s become such a stranger that just sees the bad in me so he doesn’t feel guilty. I get a little stronger as time passes, so I stay busy just focusing on myself, so I can move on. We’ve been married 26 yrs and from one day to the next he tells me he’s not happy. Jerk was already with someone else. Till this day I am shocked cause he always reassured me he would never leave.

This happened to me but I'm a male. The abandonment, affair, the setting up of all her financial security everything you said almost like you are talking about my story 100%

I have the case of abandonment. My ex and I were not even fighting. I thought everything is okay. Almost 34 years married he told told me he wants a divorce. He said he is unhappy and left.

Vikki I could not have gotten through this without your book(s) and support group. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

This is EXACTLY what I’ve been feeling💔. I’ve stopped trying to explain to friends how it feels because they say things like “people get divorced every day”, “just move on”. Thank you for helping me see I’m not alone, and possibly not crazy😢

You described our situation so well, it's terrible. Few people understand except those of us who have experienced it.

I think I am going though this now, I have not heard from my husband in a week, he has been very distant, I can’t stop crying

Dear Vikki, thank you for writing your book, I never knew there was such a thing as runaway husbands. I can totally relate to this.

I am so happy to have found this site. I was referred from a Facebook group Gray Divorce. I have been married for almost 30 years and I am a classic example of Wife Abandonment Syndrome. He has been working abroad, came back at Christmastime and announce after New Years this year that he didn't love me anymore and wasn't happy. Never discussed this previously, and I was totally devastated and it has destabalized our family. As you have written infidelity was involved, but I never suspected it because he was such a man of high moral character. I weep when I see how textbook all of the signs are. I will come through this. I am financially secure, but it validates my feelings of pain when I hear you describe how distict it is from typical divorce. My children 18, 21 and 23 are suffering because of the shock of this. Thank you so much. I am a new fan.

You have opened my eyes very wide about this issue. Thank you.

I wish I had the words myself that you just said..You said everything exactly as things are .After 18mths I feel so embarrassed that I have not recovered from this trauma.The loneliness even when I am surrounded by friends and family is a feeling I am not able to express. Thankyou for the true story of abandonment..

No arguments, no disagreements, no fighting what so ever. Married 30 years and suddenly he says I'm moving out on a Saturday. I just said okay. I did not give him the opportunity to say I was a bad wife because I was a great wife. He was gone by Wednesday. He recently told me "I was too nice." Maybe, why should I be bitter and ugly at heart when I didn't do anything wrong. He still thinks I don't know about his girlfriend. Also we were very affectionate with one another and romantically active 3 times a week on average. Because some people think you might have lost that romance. They think it must be my fault some how.

Yeps, a lot of this resonates with me. Out of the blue my wife told me our 16-yr marriage was basically over - I was working away from home at the time. She stayed at our place until just before I was due home , then moved to another country with her new man. We had seemed basically happy, rarely argued and spent all our free time together. Over the years she constantly extolled the importance of loyalty & fidelity, then proceeded to trash our mutual values. I always thought I was a strong person but I was wrong. I handled it very badly as I just couldn’t get my head around it. Hurt, angry but mostly just bewildered, I felt like my heart was going to explode. Somehow I got through it & now (9 months later) function mostly like a normal person, but I the hurt, resentment & lack of closure are still there, and probably always will be.

Dear Vikki, thank you for your book Runaway Husbands and your messages on RU-vid. My husband told me over the phone he no longer wanted to be married. Everything you mentioned is what he did to me. We have finally divorced yet there are days I cry over what I have lost. I thank God I have the love and support of my family. I know that I will never have closure as his reasons made no sense at all. It is painful to realize that the loving, kind, and fun person my husband was is no longer there. I have to accept that he is a totally different person.

Vikki, if you had done this video 4 years ago, I would have sent all my friends here so they could understand the trauma I was going through. To this day, there is no way to explain the trauma "his" leaving caused. One day, please talk more about when there is no other "person". I'm in such a small percentage but I'm sure there are others like me. And the disruption when adult children side with the parent who leaves. Thank you so so much. Keep up your amazing work, it's so needed.

Yes, you nailed it. Mine also included a huge surprise about our finances. He'd presented himself as more than comfortable and it turns out he lied about that and about money our entire marriage, making me think we were fine when really the debts just kept mounting. We lived in a community property state and suddenly not only was I abandoned, I was expected to pay for half of these debts I knew nothing about. So, financially devastating as well.

This is son true. Everything you have said, I have been feeling for over a year. Last year my husband left me and my children. I did not see it coming. He left when my daughter was 2 and my son was 14 months old. I was still getting my health back I was getting over a horrible infection I got after my son was born and almost died from. It left me with a lot of health problems, including heart issues. He told me about month before he left that he was leaving and that he never loved me and hated me. I was so shocked because I deeply loved him and changed my whole life for him. I asked him what Am I going to do? Where are me and the kids going to live? He told me to figure it out myself. For a month I watched him party every night and not come home till 8 am. I couldn't speak to him, I couldn't make him listen to me, I hardly saw him and then... he was just gone. We got kicked out of our apartment and I was living in cheap motels with my babies. The stress of the situation almost led to a breakdown because I was.so worried about my children. Eventually I got my feet back on the ground thanks to the help of my father. But it has been the hardest thing in my life to deal with. Everything was so unresolved, so many questions. How did I not see this coming? How could I love someone who hated me so much? And most of all... how could he do this to his children? No phone calls, no letters. He never tried to help them, never checked in on them once. It is like we never existed. We were disposable to him. It is all completely heartbreaking. It all happened so fast, I still can't believe it when I think about it.

I had no idea other people feel ALL of what I feel. I thought it was because I'm too emotional, I feel too much. It's what I've been told my whole life. My husband and I dropped off our oldest child at his 1st apartment for his senior year at University. Back in the truck (his truck)and on through to family vacation with our youngest. 24 hours later my son found him at the bar with a bunch of women. He said" Mom,it was kinda gross they were big brothers age. He then came back to the condo with our son's assistance. While this was happening I had been out looking for my husband. Because I was awoken by my son scared that dad was hurt or something. He was gone for 5 hours and was supposed to be 10 minutes. He was belligerent and said it was over screamed and yelled for hours. In the end it was over I had to ride back, 5 hours histaracly balling in the back seat. 72 hours later he had me and all "my stuff" in an apartment. That he had actually already had picked out for himself. I had told him that I have to be the one to get a place because our home is not ideal for me to keep up. It has been my full time job to be his wife and keep up all yard work, house work, raising the kids, careing for his disabled mother, and all relationships with his family, etc. I have been a homemaker devoted wife and mother of 2 boys for 12 years. So there is so much more , Every hour. I am in so much pain and I try so hard to be strong for my 13 yr. Old son. Today he lost his shit on me and said he will do everything in his power to make sure dad gets full custody. He doesn't qant to be around me especially now that I am so fucking broken. I cause so much more stress than he already has and he doesnt want to always jave to be consoling me. I am so completely and utterly fuckin lost. Especially in this world 🌎 😪

It all makes sense now. Thank you for putting this into perception. I understand now why it is so hard for me to cope even after a year. He just up and left. I am not the same person anymore and I am scared that I will never be able to have a healthy relationship ever again due to the trauma I experienced. Everyone tells you to just get over it, but they do not understand that it goes much deeper than a regular breakup.

I totally agree with everything you said Vicky. My husband left after 20 years of marriage three years ago and I still cry every day. Our life was complicated because he worked away during the week but I absolutely 100% trusted him. He's my second husband, 13 years younger than me and he walked out on me when I was 55 and in the middle of the menopause.He said he had been abused as a child but that this had all just recently come to the surface. That is very possible but what is so hard is that he "healed himself" with meditation where he met his current girlfriend who strangely enough worked in the same company as him. The deceit is unbearable and I have had moments when I couldn't see a future for me on this earth. We had been soul mates and as you mentioned, my friends too were shocked. One friend said "but he loved you so much". The only difference compared to many stories is that he is making sure that I am financially secure. The worst thing for me is that I had no idea what he was carrying around with him during all these years. He told me many things but not this. Now he tells everyone about the abuse including his new woman who I feel has a huge advantage over me. This is the greatest injustice I have ever had to live through. Even harder is the fact that I can't be angry with him.

He dumped me a week before the wedding. Told me to move out on my birthday. Got a brand new car, new apartment, and planned dates with his mistress (wearing his wedding tux) while I sobbed. Doesn't help that she's 10 years younger than me and works with him. A year after our wedding was supposed to happen, they have a baby and newly purchased home. I don't understand how these women can trust men who leave their wives to be with them.

Omg this happened to me and the fallout is spot on. 3 years later and I still am shaken by it

It's been a week . Together 9 years 2 small kids. We had a row. He went to appointment never came back. Didn't answer phone . I'm traumatised upset

Thank you so much for that video, it is So soothing! Exactly what I been through. My ex leaved house the very same day he told me it was over.

Just found your wife abandonment syndrome. My husband left 28 months ago quickly and unexpectedly. In my search for answers I coined the term wife abandonment term before I even knew it was already being used. I have three children and I believe that we and they are still reeling from the effect of his leaving. I look forward to reading your book to help with my own recovery. It is good to have words and terms to put to these feelings and experiences. I particularly liked about how you talked in regards to the Past being altered. I'm experiencing that but didn't know it was a thing thank you for putting a name to it. I look forward to your book.

the manner in which one spouse leaves another has a much larger and longer lasting effect than the act of leaving itself. seek compassion.

Every thing you said is 100% accurate and is what I have gone through in my own Life. The most unsettling thing about the ABANDONMENT is the self-doubt that it leaves you with. You are unable to tell what was True versus what was False and your whole Past with all its memories melts like a popsicle on a hot day right before your eyes. The 2nd very dusturbing thing is the devastating impact it has on your children and their perception of Reality. This bothered me the most and still does to this day because Children cannot process and make sense of Deception like grown ups can and to make matters much worse, no one in the Family Court System (not the attorneys, not the judges, not the law makers) understand this and they try to *FORCE* the children to then *RE-unify* with a person who left them cold-heartedly and without any consideration or second thought - This is Child Abuse plain and simple but, far from seeing this as a CRIME against the children and Family, the Family Court judges traumatize children even more and rub salt into their wounds by not acknowledging this Truth and not holding the Father ACCOUNTABLE for his ABANDONMENT. So as disgusted as I was by the abandonment itself I was disgusted twice as much by the attitude of the Family Court towards ABANDNMENT. I really don't think they understand the problem and they end up making matters much worse in the long run. My own conclusion after my experience is that when children are involved I don't think these matters should be resolved in the court at all. Just a bunch of greedy people out there ready to capitalize on human misery snd suffering. Just stay out of the court system, keep your children out and find a way to build your Life back again without involving these Sociopaths in your Life or letting them anywhere close to your children.

My husband abandoned me 4 days before I gave birth to our child. We were looking for a house together and I had literally NO idea. I thought I was in a bead dream. He refused counseling; he was just done. He did a WHOLE lot more than that, and we still aren't divorced. Me and my children would have been better off he had left and never come back. Im arill not healed 3 years later. Its was so confusing, I was so desperate, I hurt for my children who loved them and had no clue. I was so angry. His dad came in and told him to do what "made him happy". I dont know that I could put into words the immense condusion, helplessness and anger. He was a husband and father turned vicious monster.

This happened to me 6 months ago. He came home from work and said he was going camping for 2 days. I knew something was up and confronted him. He was leaving to go live with his co worker. He told me that all the physical and narcissistic abuse over the years was basically my fault because he was sexually frustrated. He wasn't going to tell me he was just going to go camping and never came back. I found out that 3 days after he left he spent $6500 on an engagement ring for her. He couldn't even buy me birthday presents. It was a shock but I now know it is the best thing he has ever done for me and my girls. We are no longer fearful of his narcissistic abuse. We enjoy time together. Our daughters despise him and want nothing to do with him. So really he is the one that has lost out.

Vikki Stark, you have explained this soooo well! Nobody can explain it so well the way you have done it.

Husband here looking for advice. Sometimes I think about abandoning it all because of the conditions i am faced with. My wife is OCD and Bipolar I believe. Every month she makes me stand nearly nude on scale to watch my weight. I protest it or try to hide from it every month because it's demoralizing and humilating. She controls everything to point I can't wash dishes and leave the forks, knives or whatnot in the wrong position after washing, she then inspects it after washing. If i come out from the bathroom she tries to see if I washed my hands. Simply put I can't take the egg shells and abuse. She has hit me dozens of times over the years. She is a stay at home mom and I work. She uses divorce as threat to take the kids and that if i initiate it she will take them to her home country anyway. I can't tell you number of times i saw in my car with cash just thinking to leave. Last night she threw something at me because I farted around her. Like, we have lived together for 10 years, common. I can't take it. i left for work 3 hours early just because she would make me weigh myself today in front her. I can't imagine a divorce with her and long drawn out process where she just gets every penny or as soon as the papers are served she takes the kid back to her home country as she said she would. So i think ...just give her her wish and disappear.

Thank you I was beginning to think I was going crazy I’ve tried to explain it to my friends and family but unless you’ve been there you can’t get it. Now, how do I recover ???

So glad i found ur channel! So helpful

I am going through this myself right now. I am thankful there were no children, but it doesn't hurt any less. Though he chose to leave and not even make an effort to work on our marriage. He has does not want any communications with me, because of the other women. In the time since he left, i have had major medical issues and when I reached out to him, nothing. He acts like 10yrs was nothing to him. He has created a new life for himself out of town, acts like i never existed. It is truly sad especially since I have known him since he was 15 yrs old. As of this moment we are still married. He has not spoken to me in 11 months. The range of emotions is shocking to me, they go from one extreme to the next. Its like watching someone else's life. Thank you for the video.

Thank you for the talk on Runaway Husbands: Wife Abandonment - My husband told me out of the blue exactly one month ago today that he wanted a divorce, I felt like I'd been hit by a car and thrown off a cliff at the same time. I begged him not to go straight away so he stayed for 2 more days while I was in bits almost literally on my knees, then he took off and I haven't seen him since. It was 2 weeks before my 50th birthday. I've had no verbal communication with him and if I text him I received 1 word replies, its as though I am in irritant but I am left here trying to pick up the pieces from 20 years of being together, married for 15 years. He told me to my face there is noone else, he even asked me if I've ever cheated on him (I haven't), and then I found out he's been moving his stuff bit by bit to a random house 100's of miles away, that he booked a hotel in Dubai for 2 people (over my birthday) and that he's still at this house so I am having to come to terms with the harsh reality that he's been cheating on my and has gone straight from me to a new woman. Its beyond heartbreaking.

You nailed it. Exactly how it happened and is happening in my life. Thank you for the video.

We were together 8 years, not always perfect but very loving and 3 weeks ago he left the house and never came back. I have seen his car once in town but we have had NO contact. I have texted and called but no response and none of our friends don’t have any idea, allegedly, of what is going on. I am not even angry yet because I am feeling numb from shock.

My wife of 34 years, and 5 years of heavy drinking went to a rehab in July 3/4 house in August i dropped the PFA charges, 2 hours later she came and packed up some things, next day advised me she wants a divorce, went no contact couple bread crumbs to string me along.

My wife is a narcissist who has the mentality of her parents and that is similar to that of a ten year old. She never speaks and used silence as a punishment while I pay for everything and it is a relationship of misery and loneliness. If we get divorced the only person who benefits is the lawyer. Neither of us can afford it plus it takes years to achieve if at all.

Ok, my husband left just said he wasn't happy had no emotions and left. We just bought a house just made our first payment. He isn't cheating, he isn't blaming me says he loves me just not happy, he sends me money every pay period. I didn't see it coming, I thought everything was finally happening for us and we was in a stable place with a new beautiful home. The kids didn't see it coming. It's only been a week but I can't stop crying. Going to the store makes me cry, driving home makes.me cry. A mess and my anxiety is insane. I'm lost and I can't make sense of it. He is sleeping on friends sofas and I guess just interviewed for a higher position at work. I don't know how to deal with any of it so I just been avoiding him.

So accurate. So sad. I married my wife because of inacurate religiosity. Even knowing she had been abused sexually as a child and had cheating during our dating....big mistake numero uno. Second Life altering mistake was having children (whom I deeply adore and raised and care for since their birth, 7 years ago) to be have their mother leave us for another man (not super surprising unfortunately) in another country (surprised). And no we trying to co parent and nothing in the past has been resolved but she says eXACTLY what you speak about here.....she was NEVER happy....even though I have countless videos / pictures / memories of her rejoicing/being happy....now I'm left with uncertainty in the past, present and future . Oy.

My husband walked out on us after I finally put my foot down and called the cops when he broke the TV with the chair a few weeks ago. He doesn't miss us, he doesn't feel sorry, he doesn't want to change. He barely asks about the kids and surely doesnt ask or probably think about me. I trusted him, I knew he was abusive in some ways but I didnt expect him to run off on us like this. we have a newborn and a 4 year old.

Almost everything mentioned in the video was spot on for experience. Except don’t think there was another woman I think certainly there was a desire for multiple anonymous sexual liaisons, based on my review of his browsing history that I conducted after he left. When I reached out to friends to tell them that my husband walked out of our 32 year marriage, two women told me to “not be bitter.” Huh? One later apologized after she realized this was not a routine divorce but instead was a heartless and selfish way for my husband to unilaterally end the marriage. She told me she sat down with her spouse to check in and ask if he had any concerns about their marriage.

He was military, started connecting with a woman in his unit. It was a total shock that he came home and said he wanted a divorce! I had a TBI 3 years earlier and he was so supportive for my recovery and I thought nothing could ever separate us even tho he was horrible financially and all the things that you wrote about run away husband.. he was under every single one of those.. I was unable to work and had to move in with my dad and then my mom many states away. Im 37! I have no children and he just had a child w the woman he left me for. I still love him and miss him but I know he is a selfish childish ignorant husband and I wish he died. It would have been easier to mourn him then be stabbed so hard in the back by the person I gave my all to.

As a guy my wife left me on Christmas Day 9 months pregnant. I never hit her never cheated on her. She just up and moved and 3 days later got preeclampsia I was with her thru all of it as usual. She signed the birth certificate while I walked to the car. She went to Vegas in early march while I kept the kids in a near foreclosure home. She been moved to an apartment. She wouldn’t call me when notified the newborn nearly was air transported to a nearby hospital for emergency surgery. Now we are at mitigation and she doesn’t want me to get 50/50 custody and rights. It’s so sad I’m such an involved dad and we have no fight.

You described my experience to a ‘T’. How is it that so many women have this exact same experience. Ex abandoned me and 2 small children in GA and moved to Indiana for ‘seminary’ school. Found out he had a ‘roommate’ who he married 5 mos after the divorce and is now pregnant with his second child with her. Pretty sure he had an affair with her while I was pregnant with our now 2 year old. He told me it’s all my fault and that he’s glad he left me. I should have known this was going to happen to me, he did it to the woman he was with before me. Thanks for expounding on this topic

I was marriage for 15yrs. My husband took my divorce paperwork off my front step. 6 months later when I found out he was divorcing me, he said he put the divorce off. He was still have relations with me and 2 weeks before the courts finalized he sent me a text saying the divorce would be final. Sadest time in my life. Turns out he took my daughter in our divorce avoided spousal matenence and now I owe child support. The state I live in doesn't consider adultery.

Wow! This was spot on! Exactly what my ex did but it wasn't just the abandonment ...after i started counseling, prettymuch he was covertly abusing me the entire marriage...i was definitely blinsided from one week saying how much he loved me to one day he was getting an apartment and moved in with my so called friend(the affair partner) who then told me she was never my friend she just wanted what i had. to saying to our childs face, in front of me and the counselor, he lied about loving me never loved me never wanted a future with me and no room in his life for more than 2...to again in front of the counselor and me to our child, that his plan all along or goal was to bring me pain misery ruin and despair that i would die and fade out of the picture...and the system gave him 50/50 custody no matter how hard i fought, whith documentation, recorded eveyrhing he was doing...and this was spot on...the other under handed side is he had been cheating on me our whole marriage..and i the fool to keep fighting for the marriage and my family. ..3 years past divorce now and 3 years of counseling but some days are so very hard ...especially when kids are involved then you have not only yourself to heal but also help them too. Thank you for this..

This is what I'm going through it hurts so bad

Amazing how accurate these chain of events and feelings were. Now just change wife to husband and vice versa and you have described my situation. From reconciliation groups I've participated in it appears there are at least equal amounts of women abruptly leaving their marriages. Mine might have been a little unique since the kids stayed with me and their mama went off to start her new life. I know it was painful for me, the kids haven't really talked much about it.

I feel everything you said. We broke up after 12 years of living together and within 6 weeks he gets engaged to his next door neighbor..then completely ignores me...yes it hurts and I feel I have been abandoned and I'm ashamed and broken hearted that I was bot good enough to stay with.

I didn’t see it coming one day she’s there with the baby the very next day she’s gone. No communication for two years.

I had been married 38 yrs then widowed. I met this man who was a pastor in Jamaica and living on the street. He said all the right yhongs and loved ministry and helping others as I did. We married and I helped him get his green card a job and everything...I met him on valentines day and 5 yrs later on valentines day he left and texted me to say that I should find me someone retired and that he didnt know if we would ever get back together...never said where he was..just gone..its been 4 yrs now..I felt so ashamed as our neighbors asked about him..my grown children had to step in and help me out...I am too ashamed to even talk to my friends...

My husband spent more time with his friends getting drunk. He goes over a friend's place 3 days in a row. When it he comes back he accuses me of "whoring around" all because his friend said so. Now his family is on my ass because he allegedly has cancer and is dying. One I don't believe their lying mouths...2 I am over 1000 miles away now. What can I do about it if I is true...and 3....he didn't think of our son's feelings or mine when he chose to walk away. I don't want a thing to do with him... And he is killing whatever feelings our son has for him. Perfect picture of an idiot if you ask me. Bitter? No! Just tired of it!

As a person with huge trust issues anyway, when he left out of the blue, my world is a misery… All alone….

My husband abandoned me on 9/22/21. He did everything to make my life feel secure and then left. I came home to him gone. I'm in such a dark place.

My husband began an affair when I was 5 months pregnant. My son is a toddler and it crushed me. Till this day it still effects me. I hope one day I finally heal from this. It’s crazy

What about abandonment emotionally, financially, physically, where they are under same roof but that's it!

My husband left me after 28 years of marriage 3 years ago, the 2nd time around, by living a letter on the table. I had NO clue! Even worse, he left me for a man! He won't pay for a divorce and I can't afford on ay almost 70 and on Social Security.

My wife abandon and ghosted 1.5 years ago. It was bye hunny, love you have a good day at work and when. I came home from work there was a note on the counter and never saw her or spoke to her ever again. I have no ide why she left. We were only married 90 days. The hardest part was i fell in love with her 5 year old son and we were best friends, that hurt me so much. I still think about him every day, i miss him. My wife not so much.

Do you have any resources to help?

5 yrs and I am barely getting over it. My ex husband abandoned me n my 3 boys

What about when a wife does this to a husband who is disabled.

When they stop talking to you

What is Divorce from bed and board???🌹

I feel this is happening to me word for word! Just change the name of the book to “Runaway Wives: Husband Abandonment vs a Typical Divorce”

Brilliant!

My wife abandoned me kicked me out the house put a tpo on me and went and bought a home

in most cases, men bail because the normal route of seperation isn’t viable.

Awesome

😢😢

I understand why fathers abandon their wife and kids. I think about it daily. Usually in the morning. I get it.

All of these, unfortunately.

What is the title of the book & where can I buy it?

A lot of men are getting emasculated by their wives but don't say anything because of pride. There are a lot of abandoned husbands but women speak out more.

So a man saying that he no longer wants to be involved in a relationship that may have clearly been doomed for quite some time is considered a man who abandoned his family? I would like to hear the men's sides of the story...

A very insightful and introspective view on this topic. I’d go as far as saying Vikki might be a thought leader on this subject. However, I get an inclination from viewing this content that the wife is always the victim in “wife abandonment” and that the man who leaves is never justified in doing so. I am correct?

You need to change this video completely. 75% of divorces are filed by women and in our society today far more likely that women abandon their husbands. Happened to me! Was insanely difficult. Almost utterly destroyed my life.

Not always the husbands fault. Husbands may get tired of conflict. People sometimes grow apart/change. Individual goals change. Also, some people you cant reason with no matter what you try. They are right you are wrong. And some women, forgive the phrase, are just bat sh** crazy. Men rather leave without notice rather than risk a violent confrontation that may end in tragedy, Just my opinion. We can agree to disagree.