Scary Daughter, Scarier Dad: Jeff Dunham 

Jeff could do a comedy show even without his puppets and it would be hilarious

"To answer your question, yes, she's blond." Camera cuts to a blond woman.🤣🤣🤣

I love Jeff's monologues. His stories are always so funny. 🤣

The fuel pump one is so funny that the editor put in twice 😂😂

The fact you can hear someone in the crowd going "oh noooo!" when Jeff mentions the candy bowl makes it better XD They can tell exactly where it's going

COULD YOU IMAGINE HOW HE TREATS HIS DAUGHTERS BOYFRIENDS WHO HE HATES?

Because I grew up in the late 50ies and 60ies, I SAW gas station attendants actually put gas in my parent's car so I knew the mechanics of that BUT the first car I ever rode in was a 1956 Chevy Bel Air 4 door. My father bought it the same year I was born. It had HUGE tail fins on the back fenders AND because some engineer thought a gas cap was ugly, the filler pipe was hidden in the tail light assembly of the driver's side fin! There was a hidden latch that you turned and actually opened the tail light like a door to get to the gas cap! It was REAL fun to watch the station attendant search ALL OVER the car for the place to fill the tank!

I put the gas cap on the driver's seat, car or motorcycle, so I remember to put it back when I sit on it. Works every time.

My son almost ran over me the first time we took him driving. My husband was in the passenger seat. I was standing 20 ft away next to a school bus. My son put the car in reverse thinking it was drive and slammed on the gas. I dove out of the way into the grass with a barrel roll and fortunately the bus driver was paying attention because the bus suddenly and Swift reversed also. Car missed front of bus by inches. Son and husband got out the car white as ghosts thinking they killed me. I was laying in the grass laughing so hard i was crying. Lesson learned. 😂. Son also destroyed mailbox while learning how to drive residential side streets. Had to pay to replace and help install. At least the homeowner was understanding about it.

With or without the puppets he is a master

"You'd think..." 😂😂😂😂 Got one 4 you. Was jump starting my daughter's car with my fiancé mother's car using jumper cables. Told my son in law's brother to get in his mom's car and Rev the engine... NO BODY WAS HOME UPSTAIRS as he had no idea what the heck I was talking about! "I don't drive was his excuse..." But you play racing games, right? You hit the peddle to go faster and it boost the engine, right? That's called reving! Even his mom didn't know what I meant when I said to rev the engine. (No, she wasn't blond!)

Speaking of daughters' first driving. My older daughter ran into a car, leaving the DMV she hit the car next to us. Then my younger daughter started driving. The first dozen or so times she drove to school, she had an accident. However, none were her fault. She is cute & the boys that were part of the accident took the blame. WOW! just WOW!

I loved the one about his dog and the shark outfit. I would have loved to seen it.

Reminds me of when I was teaching my nieces how to drive. My oldest niece was a breeze. Her dad and I started teaching her when she like 8 or 9 which is when I learned. My brother daughters on the other hand? Their mom thought it was ridiculous to let them learn that early. So they didn’t. And turned into a ball of nerves. So she had me teach them. Their oldest learned fairly quickly. Her younger twin sisters however were not. We were in their mom’s car which was a manual. Beth couldn’t figure out for the life of her what a clutch was for. And Kaia couldn’t grasp the use of the gear shift. So she drove around in 2nd for a good 20 minutes before realizing that something was off. Thank God we were in an empty field. Other wise she might’ve set shit on fire or something.

Been to gas stations where there was 20 gas caps on top of the pump and every time my wife forgot to put the cap back on I'd go to that gas station put 20 dollars in and grab a cap that fit

He is so funny like him he makes me laugh 😂🤣

I am so glad I am a brunette! I watched my parents fill up our car because i wanted to know. They call that curiosity and I've always had a lot of it! 😆 🤣 😂

He's great even without the puppets

Knew a woman once who said she knew how to fill her gas tank. One day she pulled into a self serve to fill up, opens the door to the tank, removes the nozzle. She then turns on the pump and stands about 2 feet away from the car, presses the nozzle trigger and tries to spray the gas into the tank from 2 feet away. Needless to say she washed the side of her car with gasoline. Turned out her idea of knowing how to fill up her gas tank was pulling into a full service and have someone else do it.

5:41 Yea, my dad just recently taught me how to fill up a truck with gas, it’s pretty simple but that’s because I’m in love with this truck 😂😂😂

Life is not only stranger than fiction it's so much more funny also.

Get her a car with wind down windows 😆

😂😂😂 love the way you can make fun at and with your family. Totally priceless!!

So friggin funny , lol 😂

He should have had puppets of his kids….then tell the stories…lol

New Show Jeff and the new improved "Family Affair" Fabulous stories!! Hilarious!!!

❤ I love Jeff Dunham

Jeff is the best!

Best comedian in the world!!!

Love the back drop, love you and all the friends you hang with

Omg😂 I cant breathe im laughing sooo hard

It feels incomplete without the puppets. Watched the whole video waiting for achmed or Walter to make an appearance.

What a story teller.

At the 12:50 mark, love the Peanut toy the guy has.

His monologues are sometimes better than his puppets! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

As someone that worked at a service/gas station, Jeff's story isn't the dumbest thing I've seen people do at gas pumps.

I taught my daughters to drive a straight drive pickup...talk about an adventure. I was told something about a fence and a flowerbed. After I woke up in the ER.

The god of puppetry

173 👍's up Jeff Dunham thank you for sharing 🤗

he should have got all of those stories on film that would make a good half hour show

To be fair to Jeff's daughter, that spring thing on the end of gas nozzles is a newer thing and not every gas station has them. Hell, I've NEVER seen them at any gas station I've been to, and I've been to multiple ones in Iowa, Colorado, Illinois, and Wisconsin. Additionally, not every gas pump has the little latch that locks the handle lever in place, especially older ones.

Who the hell edited this video? Same story twice?

Thanks Jeff for sharing this video lol it was so funny.

OMG so funny! I’ve only seen the puppets! Never saw the stand up! Fantastic!!!!!

My dad had 1971 ford LTD land yacht that he taught me how to drive in. On the highway, in town, on the curvy roads of Smokey mountain parkway, and on little bitty one lane roads of gravel. That’s when I learned how to pump gas. When I bought my first car at 16 he wouldn’t let me drive it until I could change a tire, change the oil, test and add oil, add power steering fluid,add brake fluid, top off the radiator, apply jumper cables properly, test and add air to the tires. So when I drove it the first time it had all new fluids, filters, and proper tire pressure. He did the same thing with my brothers. Saved money on oil changes,and road assistance, and mechanics until about 2000 when everything became technologically beyond me.

We owe it to society to teach basic life skills to our kids as soon as possible. How to cook, how to do laundry, how to wash dishes, & how to put gas in a car. Hopefully they've already learned personal hygiene.

Was the double-take put in to appease some algorithmic shenanigans or just plain laziness? Good show by Jeff btw...

I helped pump a few times when I was younger.... because 1980s you'd be curious or bored no in between at the gas pump.

Some of this on repeat

I used to teach drivers Ed. Did it for 15 years. I am now a gray hair old lady.

😂😂😂

12:26 My daughter at the age of five knew everything that was going on. I remember her first power wheels, she drove it like a pro and even put her arm around the passenger seat as she backed it up! 10 years later... stupid! WTF happened to our kids!

A lady bout 35 in her VAN..with the GAS cap on Driver side,she pulls into Gas station with the passenger side CLOSE to pump. gets out checks pump takes off nozzle..NO gas cap!!!~ ohh other side! she gets into van and pulls across 2 islands of pumps ecatly as she had done at first..OHH no no gas cap! she was recoreded by one cam shaking 3 times.going around pumps. Finally after 20 min She finally got it rite.. pure gold camera!

It's strange to hear the voice of the puppets coming out of his mouth for a moment

Sounds like a fellow New Jerseyian. A lot of us don't know how to pump gas when we're out-of-state (it's illegal to pump your own gas in NJ).

If your daughter watches this 😊 she wouldn’t talk to you ever again would she ?

This has me wondering, when and how did I ever learn to fill up the gas tank. When I was a kid, my parents would sometimes have get out of the car to fill the tank, but I don't remember them actually teaching me how to do it. In fact, now that I think about it, gas pumps have changed a bit over the decades, and I while I have come across a few that did confuse me for a bit, (with the exception of the pump not working) it's never taken more than a few seconds to figure out the issue.

Thanks, LOL!

As funny as Jeff is with the dummies, he may be even funnier without them!

🤣

Poor doggy

He's a good comedian and ventriloquist...

Your daughters must hate you. 🤣

that gas cap leash is for people like my exwife who would drive off with the gas cap on the roof of the car.

I watched a young lady try to put gas in a Tesla!

The gas cap leash was required for the number of men I saw drive off with the cap still sitting on the roof, where they put it..... The orange plastic replacement caps were a big thing

I had to teach my daughter how to drive at 15 and had her drive illegally because my son is mentally disabled and every time I dropped my daughter off somewhere my son would beat me up. So for months she drove illegally with no problems. She got her drivers license and got pulled over for driving 65 in a 45 and had friends in her car when she wasn’t supposed to have for 6 months. 😂

😂😂😂😂

Nothing like abusing animals as a family... Terrible human

Why tell it twice?

Auto parts stores about had a collective hissy fit when the car makers put that little leash on the gas caps. The simple act of tethering the cap to the car cost them 1 billion dollars per year in lost sales because of idiots misplacing the cap when fueling their cars.

Is this your first video edit? Good lord! 🤣😂🤣😂

Now my question is, did that video ever make it to youtube?

Cut off the end of the story; when it came time to pay at the pump with the credit card, that, the daughter knew how to do. Jeff had to rewind and slow down the video to follow the actions the daughter was so fast, smooth, and practiced at swiping with a credit card.

When my brother finally got his first car he totaled it and 2 more with in a year.

I was young and I thought I would fill up the car although I didn't know the difference between gas and water the engine burst into flames in my dad's face...

My grandpa Hill teaches my mom how and changing her tires and a few things in fixing on a car

Funny

"I'm an asshole! Ha ha ha." 🙄

How much did you have to pay your daughter.........................😅😅😅😅...to let you do this BIT..about her ?

I never learned to drive at 16...and i never learned to drive as i got older (nor at the age i am now or will be this month) ..why? Not because im scared or anything.. Its because i dont want to with all the racing games i play..my brain would be like 'oooh a car..imma go fast!' >w> (yes..ik its silly but still)

A toilet in the master bedroom 🤔

I am a very odd child in that when I was 21 is when I learn to first words out of the instructor's mouth was how many accidents as a passenger have you been in.... And I said well since I'm 4 and 1/2 years old I have been in an accident with one parent or another or as a passenger in a bus I said long story short I can't really remember a time in like 5 years that I wasn't in a car accident as a passenger... His reply was ah I see that explains why your knuckles are white and why you are having a bit of a problem getting the gas on you're not very comfortable with the idea of driving a car, and I said you're right I'm worried that somebody's going to ram into me because most of those accidents I was in except for one or two I got rammed and like I said the earliest one was when I was 4 and a half years old. It took more than 27 lessons to get me past and passing my driver's license I did it on the first shot which was considered a rarity because the cop who was in charge of it usually has a habit of taking people to what are called blind spots and they usually all fail I'm the only person who didn't fail becauseI came to a complete stop and then slowly inched past so I could see beyond the blind spot and nobody else had done that and then once I could see that there's nobody coming I sped across. I'm the only person who ever passed on the first try with that police officer being in the car in fact when I came back I got an applause from all the other cops who said you have no idea this guy never passes anybody nobody ever gets passed on the first try if you got passed on the first try you must really be a good driver. I did not have the heart to tell any of them that it's because I'm scared of being rammed. As for putting gas in a car, I have from the very start always be the one who makes sure that there is gas in the car you may ask why well I'll tell you Arizona and the heat of Arizona and having lived overseas as well there are places you do not want to run out of gas... Having been a kid with parents who had a habit of not always checking the gas tank on time I can tell you you learn from being a kid with the experience of having to be the appendage that sees what happens when there is no gas in a gas tank. So I have never been one of those to forget to fill up my car or my mother's car for that matter, that maybe because I'm just very very different,

Not sure why the gas station bit is in here twice, it’s funny enough but not twice…

U made a scuff6:50 8:54

I don't want a wife....let it go

Video repeats.

There was a girl in my old town at a fuel station who filled the radiator with water . The car was a VW beetle , rear mount air cooled engine . There is a cap on the top of the engine , must be for water , right ?

bulliyng a small pinchers, is not a nice thing to do.

Someone is using his name on Facebook!!!!!

which wife? first or second?

You should teach your children how to drive at 12 or 13 it’s all on you

@laugh society, you made a mess of this video....

As of today, I've only had one accident that was partially my fault. Me and another backing out (me) pulling out a spot (her) at the same time. Didn't see her and she didn't honk. My corolla took no damage, not even a scratch on the paint. I'm 19. Driving isn't that hard

Learn to edit you put the same clip twice

Where are the puppets?

Nice, but learn some basic editing please.

Love Jeff Dunham but don't enjoy it at all when a content creator, whether by accident or on purpose to stretch the length of the video, repeats a whole section of the show. Bugs the crap out of me for some stupid reason...

Do you guys know how to make new content instead of reposting old garbage?