Think I'm gonna have to force myself to explore my options wirh someone else at some points..... even though in all honesty I know I might probably see my past specific person again ( I still had a crush on him..feel kinda paralysed to express how I feel , it's terrible I know... this situation getting v boring , so I swipe it under the carpet atm .. but I know his voice, his accent melt my mind and his eyes , his face, his hair , height and everything got my knees goes jelly , that encountered with him was fatal - my whole world turned upside down .. I know I really should use my head over my heart ) .. looks like it's gonna be a hot mess again at some points, ..oh dear . I'm doing my utmost best focusing my new projects , my jobs atm to get myself out of any trouble .. 🙏