I realized just fairly recently that I can't remember ANY of my birthday parties, nor any Christmases from childhood, except one which was very special because we had moved from Iceland to America and we had a white Christmas tree (very odd to me) and I got a big box of Legos. I was 13 and had dreamt of owning Legos for a long time.
I had never heard of SDAM before coming across a video you posted about autism like an hour ago, but holy crap apples, this explains so much about myself that it hurts. When I looked up what SDAM was, I literally sat there and tried to recall even one single memory from my childhood that was "in first person" and I don't know how long I sat there, but it was a pretty long time as I grew increasingly distressed that I couldn't think of anything. Not that I don't remember... sort of. I know what happened in my childhood, but not because I can just think back and recall it. And if I do, it's like I'm watching a movie clip of someone else's life. That being said, I do not have aphantasia. If someone tells me to picture an apple, I can "see" it in my head. I can picture what it tastes like, the crispness, the smell, etc. But it seems like these things don't translate to my personal memories very easily and most often, not at all. Which is just wild, isn't it? I'm definitely going to bring this up in my next therapy session because it might seriously be contributing to a certain... lack of personal identity. This is insane.
In a recent stufy about 51% of people with SDAM also have aphantasia but there are many who can visualize. I haven't talked with anyone who can visualize with sdam though!! It'd be cool to compare "brain" notes if you find SDAM is a good fit for your memory. Unfortunately, most docs haven't heard of it, it's still being researched so most everyone who has it is self diagnosed.
@@i.am.mindblind Thankfully, I have a really amazing therapist who will research something if I talk to her about it, so I have hope that she'll be able to do that. I've always felt like something was wrong with me because I can't remember half my childhood (probably more than half if we're being honest). My husband can remember everything and is consistently confused about why I can't and I never had an answer for him. But this is definintely worth looking into! As far as being able to visualize without being able to recall memories in first person, it's like I'm looking at myself from the outside, like a little movie clip of the memory playing, but it lacks detail. When you mentioned your wedding, I tried to picture my own and most of what I could recall was what I'd seen in pictures, and I hadn't even considered that the pictures were the reason I even had those details.
Hello, I found your video the other day. I gone back to your first post and watching them that way to newer ones. Am not sure I have what you’re talking about, but I do have trouble remembering some parts of my past.
ive been married 23 years and even if i look at the pictures i still dont remember but i know i was married people say remember when you did this at this place i wish i could but i dont
The events that you remember the most details about: Were any of them scary, life threatening or moments of danger? I'm thinking of things like surviving a car crash, rock climbing in a place you could have fallen and gotten badly hurt, etc. Actual possible threats to your survival and continued existence? Or do they get lost as often as more mundane events?
I've lived a fairly sheltered life. I did have an experience when I was probably around 4th grade where I was almost shot. I know it happened, I know I ran away for help. I don't remember it happening. I could list a few more facts (I'm not going to) but it has no emotional impact on me and never really did because I can't relive memories in my mind. I also broke my arm in 3rd grade bad enough to need surgery. I know it as a fact in my life, but again, don't remember it actaully happening.
Ok I'm pretty sure I'm the same I have like 5 "memories" at most really some of them are just "pictures" while the others I can think of _maayyyybbbbbeee_ 3 facts I always thought I just had a really crappy memory and that was because I can't visualise anything for my life.
