Secure Attachment Is Critical For Healing Anxiety 

Having a parent who was sometimes loving and kind and other times cruel and hateful was so confusing and really terrifying as a child.

I found you a week ago! I’ve listened to so many of your videos. With Mel Robbins, too. You’re book is being delivered TODAY! I really connect with your situation growing up. And I see how I probably hurt my children by being inconsistent. When they’d disobey me, I just went crazy. I couldn’t get them to stop fighting with themselves. Otherwise they were great kids. So that inconsistency is there for them. They know it was because they provoked me. They’ve admitted it and apologized. My mom was narcissistic and never loved me and abused me. My father was mentally ill. He left when I was about 7. My grandmother moved in then. She was a gem. My father waited until I was safer, with grandma there. Then he left. So inconsistencies everywhere. You are helping me SO much! I’m trying to listen to you everyday now. Thank you so much Dr Kennedy!!! I appreciate you and can’t wait for your book!!

I love that you are so honest about yourself and your own struggles. Your insights are eye-opening. Thank you.

Even post surgery brain fog, Russ is still exceptional. I am learning so much, thanks Russ for helping

Dr John Bowlby, the founder of attachment theory, was an eminant British psychologist and psychoanalyst, who not only studied and researched developmental psychology, but contributed enormously to the provision of mental care for children in hospital, care homes, and young evacuees in the war etc. He was also an adviser to the British government. His attachment studies and theory was based and concerned infants NOT adults. He referred mosty to 'primary care givers' than exclusively 'parents'.

You are so brave in your vulnerability... and it helps me trust that this healing journey is available to me too. Thank you for sharing your path to recovery and offering a road map. It gives me a lot of hope.

You make me laugh to with the sharp humor you use to deliver your message. I think its a gift as it worked on your mom as well . I appreciate your vidios and find it very relatable and useful. Thank you.

Thank you so much…..this makes me feel so much better ♥️🤍💙….I’m not always anxious & working toward only being with people who my nervous system likes….after decades of dysregulation due to narcs👺👺☠️☠️☠️

I agree. There are too many labels or boxes we put one another in. Then they are treated as a diagnosis instead of as an individual.

There is another inner child. After watching the video with Mel Robbins and writing some gratitude, I went to the park and suddenly realized something. A few weeks ago, I got in touch with the inner child who was connected to family. He had a lot to say and things were great after that. Then I started to shut down again this past week. Then tonight it hit me, I have another inner child but he is about 27 years old. Back then I had a job I loved and I had a future planned out. I had plans, life was good. Then at 11 months into this job they said they were going to have massive lay offs. I never experienced this before. I thought it won't happen to me, I'm the best they have here. Then it happened, based on a seniority decision is what they said. I went from having life planned out to... looking at the want ads in the newspaper and thinking about accepting unemployment. I lost and it hurt and I didn't know how to deal with it so I shut down. I didn't want to go anywhere I didn't want to talk to anyone. I started going to the liquor store after a while. It used to be that I couldn't drink anything unless I was at a bar or party, now I was in a recliner by myself. I set off for South Dakota a place I thought was supposed to be the perfect place to live, everything was going to get better only this time I had less money and motivation. I lined up a job, a place to live, I applied to the university, I applied for loans and grants. I waited and waited for the acceptance letter. To find out the post office was holding my mail, and once I found out, I got the letter and I was late to start by more than a week. Motivation slipped, I said I could start again next semester, I dropped my classes... then inner child 2 found his way down there. Moving the story forward, I moved to Asia I was in a mid size city in the middle of Thailand, I was starting a new job with proper training in education. Covid came. Bam! Everybody was leaving to go back to their countries, I was determined to stick it out. Then the government said lockdown. Nobody in or out of the provinces. I was 1 of maybe 5 foreigners in the whole community and I didn't keep any contact with them. The local community didn't know how treat this situation so most people treated me like a ghost, they were afraid or nervous, some people tracked when I entered and left places. Guess who shows up, inner child 2. But after this third event. Being alone in a new country and barely able to speak the language (at the time). People who did know me were afraid to visit because of the government. I am certain it's similar to PTSD. but it isn't until today that, it all goes back to that time when I was 27. I lost the will and motivation to get up in the morning and a lot of mornings I still do that. Now that I have made this realization, I wanted to share and hopefully I can help myself more. Thank you.

The song that keeps me in my most attached and self loving space is, Diamond in The Rough, sung by Jennifer Knapp. Thank you for this video!!

I totally agree!! It feels a bit like horoscopes. Everyone can probably resonate with something and it’s not very helpful to catagorise people

Dr Russ , I am Soo fortunate that I found you, and I subscribed to your videos... Thank you! My anxiety and depression has been since I was a child, my father abandoned my Mom and her 3 kids. My Mom was loving some days and very abusive most of my life. Your work is Soo great and is being helping me Soo much . Thank you 🙏 Thank you 🙏

I just listened to your podcast about how u discovered you had anxiety, and I figured that we had practocally the same story. A mother who was the backbone of the family, an unstable father and thus a chaotic household, a Med school that carried a lot of my identity, and then complete arrest in career (after 15 yrs of practice as a radiologist) secondary to crippling anxiety (that last part not being like your story). OMG!!!

Your work and what you are offering to others is exquisite. Almost every video gives me a moment or moments when my heart starts pounding. I am trying EDMR with my therapist tomorrow. My hope is to heal some of the trauma I incurred as a little girl with a multiply mentally ill father, a mother with severe childhood trauma, and a member of a doomsday cult .

Thank you for sharing and being so open and honest. I can Connect with your story on many levels. It’s hard to figure out how to truly love yourself. I have two daughters. I imagine my younger self as one of them and picture give my younger that kind of love. ❤

Thank you... That was very helpful... I'll be praying for your Mother's speedy recovery... I envision her going home healthy and happy, soon😍😍😍

I very much enjoy listening to your videos because I find them so very relatable to my own life experience and childhood. Thank you!

Wow, your honesty is so appreciated. Today's topic has opened me up to exploring myself and my parental relationships. Thank you. Helping others is a good thing. And it's okay to feel good about the compliments. (I also have a hard time accepting compliments)

This is great doc. I am anxiously attached so this is beautifully communicated. You are helping me greatly.

This is so amazing! You have really explained my experience t perfectly. I can relate to you so well, as I had similar feelings.

Thank you for this Dr. I really learn a lot from your videos.

Really appreciating your content.

Very useful! Thank you ❤

Brilliant!!

I really had a lot of aha moments from listening to you here 🙏

You are spot on here

Thanks ❤

2 hand handshake, Dr. Kennedy.

fantastic

How do ya move the blocks! Bring it in to change❤

24:54 is it possible that someone doesn’t cry because they have grown and learned to see, accept and embrace their inner child’s light and heat with love?

Why is there a book in the thumbnail? Does it talk about this in the book?

❤😢❤

Hello, Dr. Russell: I'm enjoying your talks. I believe they are helpful and I plan to continue. I have one correction for you and I'm writing because it's important to understand. As people, as human beings, we have no divinity. When God came down from heaven to earth as the man Jesus Christ, He set aside His divinity. He wanted to show people that it is possible to live without sin and he couldn't have show that to the fallen race that we are if He used His divinity. He purposely set it aside, never used it. He relied on His Father, He trusted God, to get him through every situation He faced. We can do this too; God was there for Jesus and He is there just as powerfully for us. Pray to Him; tell Him your troubles, your needs. Thank Him and praise Him for His great, everlasting love for you. His grace is what gets us through, as does the Holy Spirit. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13.

What parent couldn't, absolutely, adore that little boy shown in your screensaver??

No. Neither parent.