Self Esteem and Body Image | That’s What He Said 

Man, that guy who said, "Sometimes I feel so great, and sometimes I don't want to get out of the house!" really made my day. Sometimes I'll look in the mirror and think, "Damn, you're pretty." but then I'll take off my shirt and bra and think, "Oh ew don't ever show that to anyone."

That one skinny guy who said he felt like since he's skinny he can't make someone feel safe.. That's such a horrible thought.

its nice to know that men have the same issues as women and this is not just a female battle, but both a male and female battle.

Humbleness, humility, gentleness, and humor = 10/10 hot.

every single one of these guys is so attractive. and while they are handsome that attractiveness for me comes completely from the intelligence and heart they clearly all have.

I just needed to say THANK YOU. As a short and skinny guy i needed to hear this.

This series is so invaluable because it enables me, a woman, to get an inside look at how men feel about important issues, discussions that I usually don't have access to. Thank you!

I wish there was more talk like this for men to come forward to create awareness. As a guy who had really bad body image self esteem issues and former borderline anorexic, I feel that the fitness industry and the media always brainwashes us for the perfect body for us to be desirable from the opposite sex. I always thought that girls love guys with abs and muscles because that's what we see around school, movies, TV shows, etc. and whenever we hear for example girls scream whenever they see a hot guy taking of his shirt and for us we would go workout and eat right but in the mirror we would think we are not good enough and then starve for a long time. It is hard to explain. But for many of us we would be afraid to come foreword because we think it only happens to women. Its everywhere especially in grade school and college that it is unavoidable.

This is really cool. I liked watching guys, like me, explaining something that is highly important for us in today's society

I enjoy how this outlines and shows the transparency that guys have while talking to other men about the things that have an effect on us while we growing up

Does the guy at 1:25 remind anyone else of George Clooney?

As a guy, these body image issues are definitely something I deal with on a regular basis. Looking at yourself in the mirror it's sometimes hard to "judge" yourself because you don't really have a point of reference for what makes an "ideal body". On the one hand, you have the guys in commercials for 6 pack abs that are jacked. On the other, you have these guys like Arnold that are just huge. And lastly, on the other you have male models in fashion magazines who have an attractive, yet different kind of body altogether. All of them look good, and it's tough because sometimes you don't really know where to "place yourself" in the whole grand scheme of things. And then in the real world, you get such a mix of people that's it's tough to know what's reality and what isn't. In trying to process it all, I've taken a tip from the whole body image issues debate that women face. At the end of the day all that matters is that you're healthy, and you're comfortable in your own skin. For me personally, I've stopped worrying so much about how I look, but rather how I perform. Personally, surfing is a really important part of my life, and optimizing my body to surf the best that I can is really the most important thing for me. After a long time spent training, I've figured out at what size and weight my body feels most comfortable at, and which allows me to perform at my maximum potential and I've been really happy with it. Focusing on performance has indirectly built me an athletic body, and I'm really happy with it. I'm not huge or "jacked" by any means, but I feel good, and I guess that's all that matters. If I were to ever have a son, I think I would tell him to build a body around their favorite sport or physical activity and to reach a level in which they feel comfortable, and healthy.

Totally can relate. I have always been crazy tall and no, I don't play basketball. I actually dont play any sports at all. But thanks for asking for the 1000th time!

what makes a man attractive? humbleness and authenticity, that he's not afraid of revealing his emotions and feelings. that makes a men (or any person) strong.

"you look so good" how absolutely heartbreaking to hear from a loved one, especially one who is a doctor.

Thank you for this video! Gender equality, body image, confidence, those are ongoing struggles, for society and for each and everyone for themselves, I guess. I have been aware of men struggling with those issues as well for quite some time now, yet sometimes I still discover new aspects I've never thought about before. When you guys talked about "being tall" generally being one of the central attributes associated with desirable men, I suddenly realized how often you actually hear that particular thing. Guys, this is horrible...while we're fighting for more different body types in women to be represented in the media, I don't see much of that happening for men...I'm definitely going to pay attention to that from now on...

This is a topic that people are rarely willing to openly discuss, I'm really happy to see a video like this with many different perspectives and experiences. A+

Wow. Thank you for sharing. This story about the tenor with an eating disorder really hit me hard.

I love this series so much! I hope people don't take it as them trying to "outdo" or "1up" women's issues, or making men seem as if they're less equal than women- it's not that at all. It's male struggles and issues regarding those topics. Because believe it or not, men do face unrealistic standards and struggle with body image too.

This video was much needed. I out of the many qualities I LOVE about my husband I love his quiet charisma. He never has to shine and is very reserved and quiet yet his silence speaks so loud in a room. When we walk into a place im in awe of how he is respected yet is so humble, gentle, and simple. Its sad how social media makes people either who they are not or either always having to be who they think they should. Be authentically true to yourself and You will not only attract authentic people but you will be happier because theres no need for competition in your life. Great video Gents

When the one guy was talking about the Old Spice commercials..."Now look back at your man...Please don't". 😆 I feel ya man.

SoulPancake, THANK you for this subject. And thank you for this series. There are so many vibrant and beautiful differences among us, and yet we tend to only focus on those "less-thans" that the media tells us we should. Thank you for giving me permission to admit that I don't always like my body...but more so, the connection that I'm not alone in feeling this.

this was interesting to watch.. just made a study about body image and self esteem and the differences between the genders at university (i am a psychology student)

"I'm (wipes mouth) years old..":'"D I love that guy!

these are so great, I am just starting self discovery workshops with teenage boys and these are great for it!

So refreshing seeing a group of men talking about their self-esteem and body image. I hope they can talk about these on women too, what they think how women are affected by all the magazine covers, images on the internet, movies, etc.

The man at 6:30 hit the nail on the head for the entire episode. They need a series like this for middle age and older men, men in their mid fifties and sixties. We all struggle with the same issues. It does not stop, ever!

A man can be attractive by the simple terms of being well put together. I think when you feel good, other people catch on to that vibe and that makes you so attractive.

Im taller, and very much underweight, and 15 years old. Ive been told that I look like a string bean, alien, noodle, and I jist, its gotten to me. When a kid lifted up my shirt in the middle of lunch and said to some girl "look how skinny this kid is" God I just hated myself. This video really helped.

Sweetness, considerate, gentle, helpful and generosity in spirit. You are loved.

You guys NEVER cease to amaze me! WELLDONE!!

I absolutly love this series. The fact that these guys were having an open and completely honest conversation fills me with so much hope. i wish everyone could interact with each other in this way.

Thanks so much for this series! It's great seeing such a diverse group of men communicating honestly and openly. As you do other videos, could you make sure to include guys of Asian backgrounds into these conversations too? It would be really nice to see that represented as well...thanks!

It's a good thing to see men talk about things like this

I din't know guys think all this .... This is so educative for me and will impact my interactions with men in such a positive way!

It's important to realize how confident you are with your physique. If you're under weight (I was) lift some weights and eat more. If you're over weight eat less and exercise more. If you don't like how you look you can change, some people look good skinny some people look good with curves, be the best 'you' you can be.

theres are really quite refreshing, i'd like to see more of the he/she said series.

Its quite funny how women say personality makes a guy attractive but then how is a guy meant to show his personality if most women won’t give him the chance because of his physical appearance?

Thank you for this video. For a while it seemed like I was the only one among my peers who was aware that men are also struggling with body image because I keep seeing girls sharing posts on Facebook lusting for men's v-line, their abs, their cheekbones and so on. I needed to see this, and these girls need to see this as well and realize that what they're doing is wrong and is way more harmful than they think it is.

I love that you're shining light on a so rarely discussed topic!!! It's kind of good to hear, that men also struggle, that they fight similar fights - I think that should really start a discussion across genders. Thank you so much for this video!

I am so glad that these voices are being heard about a topic for men that is frequently dismissed; inspirational

This video was amazing and I'm glad someone is actually focusing on the fact that man go through the same thing most women go through.

this is so great. it was genuinely interesting to watch i'm really happy about the general tendency to bodypositivism. with guys i see a problem, though, that it's so hard to change their minds sometimes :) i always tell my boyfriend he's handsome and beautiful, but it seems deep down he doesn't believe me, cause hey - he's not ripped, shoulders not broad enough, blahblah, and he thinks i flatter him just to make him feel better. honestly, guys, you are so amazing. each and every one of you has so much to love and long for. tender hands or manly rough hands are great, they just tell different stories. tall guys and short guys are great. big feet, small feet, skinny guys or chubby ones (you give the hugs to die for :) - you are so likeable. once i get to know a person and i generally like him, there's always features i see that make my knees give up a bit 'cause he is just a great individual. please know that

New series is awesome! Very insightful and just good to see a couple of men talking so openly about what's close to their hearts. That's a first (for me).

This is great. No one (male or female) should ever accept being put down or made to feel uncomfortable because of their physical appearance. Call out the bullies as well - although bullies are known to be the most insecure people.

This has to be my favorite series so far. 👍👏🏿😀

I feel soo bad hearing one of the guys stories of how he felt like he didn’t make his partner feel safe. I have this friend that I was trying to convince to start doing other things to get bigger, saying that when he has a girlfriend she will be able to feel safe. I hope I didn’t create an insecurity in his mind😞😖

thank you so much....you are one of the MOST IMPORTANT teaching tools in my class, thank you so so so much!

Another great and I think important talk. I think what's makes a man attractive is his mind.

Feminism includes this, includes men.

that's one thing I don't have too worry about because I'm very confident in myself and I'm always in great shape and just be who you are

Such an important video. So many people think that body issues are strictly related to women but we are all subjected to stereotypes of an ideal physical image. Everybody is different and I think that's what makes people truly beautiful. I have loved tall and skinny, a short and nerdy.

I really appreciate that these men are talking about this relevant topic because a lot of people don't believe that men have body image issues or negative self concepts. This topic is one that society tends to sweep under the rug plenty of times, because I guess we have to 'man up'. I have subscribed to this channel and shared the content.

This is amazing. I would have never thought that these men had all these body issues. Obviously everybody has things they don't like about themselves. Everybody feels pressure from the media. If any of these men are in the comment section by the way, ALL of the men I saw in this video were gorgeous in their own way. Y'all rock

SoulPancake, you are awesome! Loved this. So good to hear other guys talking about stuff that affects us all. thank you

12,253 views and only 768 likes come on this video deserves a lot more love! It's so beautiful how honest these men were to speak about their feelings and show a side to men that we truly don't see enough of! It's pathetic that we live in a society were women are the ones only allowed to show/share their feelings, where there is no such thing as a man who can get emotional because if they do then their labeled as being gay(which is awesome in itself & shouldn't be used in a negative context in the 1st place!). We are all human beings who have souls and emotions, so why must it all be one sided. In the end it is your life so why try living up to a society that will never accept you for who you truly are, just be happy being you!!! Thank you +SoulPancake for all these truly inspiring, fulfilling, & overall amazing videos!! Never Unsubscribing!!!!

I am so glad that these men could open up about this. In society it is shown as less manly to share how you feel and to share insecurities. I am attracted to a man who can share those things. I look at two things to determine if a man is attractive to me: facial features and personality. I hope that both genders can learn to ignore the media and what is perceived as desirable and can take into account that the other sex should be respected.

wow, all these men are so handsome! great conversation to have.

please make more of these videos. i love the compelling and stimulating conversations these guys are having. it really makes me think of ways i can make myself a better man. i love these videos, i love this channel i need more of this in my life.

They all were pretty attractive physically and look vise .

It sucks so much to be short and skinny as a guy. Doesn't help that I'm rather shy as well, when it comes to social interactions. It's so lonely. I hate it.

Scrolled down the first bunch of comments before the "Load More" option... Only saw 2 or 3 negative comments ._. this videos got some crazy kind power behind it XD

What would make this a bit more impactful would be having teens doing this too

i would say that the guy in the tie hit the nail on the head, the "perfect" image of a man or woman is unique per person. everyone has their own idea of it. media has effected that to immense measures and that sucks really bad

I love the vigor and openess if these videos with the men...kudos soulpancake!!!

Wow. Thanks so much for making this video. What's most important to me in a mate is that they're kind and respectful to all people. Including me of course, and including people who have completely different perspectives than they do. Have a high emotional intelligence. Someone who I feel at home with, can grow with and if we're going to disagree on something we're able to do it respectfully and constructively. Of COURSE it's important to be attracted to your mate. And for me, attractiveness is a total-person type of thing. It's the whole picture of who you are, not just how you look in photos. If I'm going to be strictly visual about it, I've personally never been attracted to bigger guys, and prefer skinnier guys. The guy in the blue shirt with the dark hair and beard. SO sexy!!!!

This is the best video in the series for me. It's interesting to hear guys' viewpoints on this issue (body image). I have always looked at it from a woman's perspective and never really seen it from a guy's point of view before.

this is so great! literally every guy had something interesting and nice about him :)

Thank you so much for this one. It helped me so much this morning.

I love this video series. I think it's super important and amazing. Though I think whether or not a person thinks someone else is attractive is besides the point of liking your own body, and secondary, I genuinely found something attractive about all the humans in this video. They're self-aware. They demonstrate listening and compassion. They care. They're smart. Not afraid to be vulnerable. Invested in something. Comfortable. All of these things are attractive.

I'm 6'1 and I was 297 and and over the course of 2 years I'm down to 219 all natural I'm still not done yet I want that look that comes with attraction my goal is 190 I just hope I'm happy after I find happiness I get there

striving to be god like, but knowing it is OK to fall short is something people are missing now. It is OK not to reach perfection, but striving to be a bit closer to it every day is a good thing

I'm not in the greatest shape. i could and should be, for my health but I'm comfortable with who i am. i am, when it comes to working out. i still am active in my day to day priorities. i still do all my community work. nothing is more confusing than women saying if you work out, I'll date you. which to me is a turn off, like that will encourage me to be near you. i am kind hearted, and know my self worth.

Oh, I got tears when he spoke of his doctor father edifying his unhealthy body!

I think each and every one of these men are attractive (including the host), not just for their looks, but for the kind and sensitive people they seem to be. I have always gravitated more towards men with a gentle side, who are not afraid to express their emotions; to me, that is far more attractive than the shape or size of their body.

I love this, men ARE smart and considerate and caring, and thereby very attractive.. It's all about the qualities expressed.

My heart feels for this series thank you finally, I know I’m not the only one

Ngl it kinda helps hearing that men struggle with these doubts and insecurities too, not just women

I love these videos! For me, a good heart is the most attractive quality anyone could have.

honestly, personality makes a man attractive. The love of my life could be a man who is balding, shorter than me and overweight. If he draws me in with his beautiful heart how could I say "no, you don't have the "right" look."? Ideally, we all want to be attracted to our partner but what happens when the looks fade? Will we trade them in for an "upgrade"?

What makes a man attractive to me is when he's genuinely interested in getting to know who I am at the core & wanting to establish a real connection.

I love soul pancake

this is such a great series! and so so important

That hair behind his ear is driving me completely crazy! On a serious note, I think these videos are incredibly valuable. Dialogue between men is not something we see much of, and it's interesting to see.

4:34 pls don't 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

It makes perfect sense that these feelings of insecurity goes beyond so many limits we usually believe contains it. No, it's not just a single gender, no it's not just a single age group, no it's not just a single ANYTHING. We all have these issues one way or the other. I was so happy to hear these men opening up, it's a tough thing to do, but no one will accept that men can have these troubles as well, if we never talk about it. I'm what most would call either a kid or a young man at best, I'm 18. I am of a slender build and not particularly tall. I have so many of the same insecurities as these men. Can I protect my friends? Will a woman touch me and think "this is a mans body" or will she think "wow this is either a skeleton or a child"? Will people look at me and consider me weak and pathetic? That form of thinking is literal bullshit, but our brains do it anyway, pretty damn stupid. That way of thinking got me to try and work out, and I still do to this day, that's indeed a good thing, but I do it for all the wrong reasons. We cannot be happy like this, I cannot be happy when I look at my body and myself this way. Damn I need to change, but not just me, but also the society that we live in today as well

I don't know its just that I feel like in today's society when "attractive" is mentioned the first thing that pops out is how you look, physically, how engaging to the eye your appearance is. Many, including me struggles with this but, I feel like it's better for me to accept struggle of becoming comfortable about what I truly am, than changing what I am for the sake of people's perspective or impression of me. I feel like if I change for the sake of people around me, I may have changed but I have cheated on who I truly am and killed a little part of the original me.

I love this. It is very thought provoking.

great video! we need more liek these

What makes a man attractive is personality and character. Any guy has the potential to get any girl he desires if he has the right personality and character that that female finds admirable.

please make more of these videos. i love the compelling co

Only wish this longer.

Highly Valuing fitness muscles are something that I notice about a guy, but more so is their ability to lead, their confidence and their love of God

It's crazy how I had no idea that men had negative body image as well.

AMAZING!!!!!!!

In the media we always see mesotipical male at peack muscles development; but that's not only body type, there are also ectotype and endotype people who simply are never going to look like the standard inposed by the media; at the end of the day you shoulden't care what the media says, you should care about your healt and becoming a bether person.

I think although the media defines a certain beauty standard, at the end of the day many people that you meet in real life and that don't fit that standard can be attractive for many different reasons that cannot be shown on a single magazine picture. Often times I will find myself physically attracted to a guy, simply based on his appearance, but without even being able to explain what I like about it.

Body image consciousness affects me in a very deep level that I don't even recognise it anymore, makes you feel completely worthless and less than a man unless you put on size and muscle, growing up not only naturally skinny but also my bones are too thin, like my hands and wrists are too skinny, putting on size and muscle especially in my arms wasn't just a good plus for me, but something that brings me from zero absolute trash to a normal human being, not to myself because I respect myself, but to people that judge you and those looks and comments they make to you, they are very hurtful

I love all your videos!

"you look so good" wow