Seven Years in France - What's it Like? 

I’ve been in France 5 1/2 years now, without a moment’s regret. I’m in Normandy in a town of 4000 or so, with easy access to Paris via train. It’s a beautiful life here and a nice balance between small-town calm and big city excitement on our frequent trips to the capital. Although keenly aware of my immigrant status, I’ve never felt more at home than I do here. Life seems more fluid, more natural, and certainly more secure, and the mutual respect among people is wonderfully comforting. One builds a web of social support among all the people one encounters in our little town and even among those we see regularly in Paris. Even the fonctionnaires in the government offices are kind and helpful, making hassles with bureaucracy easily bearable.

I’ve been in France since 2017 but in a small village of 800 since 2/2020. I would say this fall/winter I really connected with my neighbors. Enough for small chats while on walks, invites to village groups. My French has improved and I believe they see me trying to improve. What I would miss? French healthcare. I have paid about €100 out of pocket for 13 months of melanoma care-surgery, home healthcare nurses, CT scans, immunotherapy and rides to said immunotherapy that is over an hour away.

That’s a brilliant insight into living in Paris with all its ups and downs. Strange that living there as a student albeit only for 6 months there are a lot of things about that city that still stick with me and I love. I think I still have my titre de sejour somewhere too lol. Great video Jay.

I am almost 61 years old and have never in my life owned a car. For all of my adult life (starting when leaving home at 17) I have always lived in areas with public transportation, including Central America, Spain and Greece (Cairo as well). Sometimes if necessary I rent a car, yes I have a license and can drive but never dependent on a car.

I’ve never lived in France. I’ve only been there as a Tourist but what I miss the most when I think about France is, as you said, the bread and the cheese. Actually just thinking about the bread makes me want to go back. Yeah it’s a cliché but it’s true.

As someone who lived in France for only 4 years and who’s been back almost 12 years, I can verify all of these list of things you miss while in France and things you’d miss if you left. Yep. 💯

You have to keep in mind also that Paris is it’s own place, in many ways quite different from the rest of France which itself is also quite varied.

Thanks for sharing your perspectives. Having moved 4K km from my home town (same country though) 25 years ago, I don’t fully belong in either place anymore. It’s an odd feeling.

Very well said 👍

I most appreciate London for being a fairly congenial medium between Amercan brashness and French aloofness. The English are not overly familiar and never intrusive, but they will respond to modest attempts to find some common interest - if you casually mention an interest in a particular form of music, for instance, or enjoy literary or artistic pursuits, others so inclined often respond and conversation may ensue. Friendships develop more slowly and entertaining at home is simply not done without a lengthy acquaintancehip. That wonderful British institution, the pub, avoids both the forced congeniality of American bars and froideur of French establishments.

Hi Jay, socialising may be difficult in Paris but in other parts of France it’s easier like in the South of France where mingling is more frequent.

you belong more than you think. French people accept you because you're fun, you dynamic, smiley, and you seem to enjoy life here. So big welcome, you do belong absolutely!

A lot of the issues outlined are the same in most large cities around the World. It might just be time to see what living in the rest of France is like :)

Love the summary and contrast between the two cultures

Fascinating, Jay. I am new to your channel and really enjoying your content, learning about your life and your history. Here’s to crossing that 100k for which you have worked so hard!

This episode is just what I’ve always wanted. I’ve never been able to understand the French and that is one of the reasons I keep going back..One that got me and it has happened more than once, I walk into a shop at one minute past 4 and am told in a curt manner that I will not be served as it is 1 minute past, that would be unheard of in the north of England but not in France, and what gets me the most is that the French customer doesn’t mind that they are not going to get served. People talk about the Germans being document addicts but I once bought a PLASTIC BUCKET and had to tell the shopkeeper my name and address before he gave it to me. I could tell you more but I feel I’m becoming like you only I don’t talk as fast. Great videos keep em coming.

Great video and info, it was interesting and a pleasure to watch.

I have a sneaky access to France, by becoming friends with French people, in America. Then, one of those friends became the mother of my twin nephews, born on June 21st. 🎊 I’ve never spent more than 2 weeks in France, but I do feel the context of saying, I’m visiting my friend and their family, or my nephews, French people spend more time speaking to me. It’s like, I’ve already been vetted by the French. I’ve also spent 1/2 my time in Dijon, not just Paris. Last June, in Marseille, I really felt included. Port cities can be sketchy, but I felt their French identity was a bit more inclusive. Maybe, my own San Francisco Bay Area-ness, plus African-American mix, means I don’t come off overtly American. My 30 year experience of traveling to Europe, it’s been a huge surprise that I somehow blend in, and they think I’m some sort of African-European combo. Actually, true, but created in the US. Hehe! In Marseille, a few people thought I was Brazilian 😮, and I got Amazigh (Berber). So trippy and cool! Anyway, I think it’s helpful that you explain your experiences to Americans. It’s different out there! But, not scary.

Thank you for sharing. If getting friends was too tough for you. Keep in touch if you leave.

This was a very informative and thought provoking video, thanks. I've only spent about a month in France, but I was crossing it on a bicycle with my son, and the experience left a very deep impression on me. What a magnificent country. You probably receive beaucoup d'advice from random strangers, but may I ask, have you considered traveling around France, or even greater Europe, to make videos in different locations? I guess people love Paris, but some of my very fondest memories of France are of the countryside and the Côte d'Azur. It really is no exaggeration to say that just about every day on my travels, I was shocked at the beauty of some town, vista, architecture, or church. I've never experienced anything like it.

I think you've just explained why the friends who appear in your videos are usually Americans, Brits, etc., despite you being fluent in the French language. Another great video, very thought-provoking!

If I had a place to live in Paris, my ideal neighborhood would be near Port de Cliangcourt or Le Marais🏘☕🥐

Love your videos man! Fantastic. Happy for you enjoying your life and experiencing so much.

I miss living in Paris. Yes, it was almost 30 years ago (gah!) but my plans are to eventually return.

This is very informative & good to know. Thx U Jay.

You're very insightful

Regarding making friends in Paris, it also really helps to have something in common. Such as, being gay. I've met French people in the United States in passing and upon visiting France they've become really good friends. I now have two great friends in Paris For the last 10 years

ok Paris sounds like a prefect place for me, I enjoy my privacy but I am sociable too. However its sound like you have the best of both worlds. I know someone who also lives in France and they say the something about what they miss when in France and what they miss when in the states. I say enjoy the journey, 🥰Merci

Hi Jay. Great video. Thank you. All great tips and I agree with all.

Great video!

Would love to live in France somewhere but I don't know where to start from the United States. On my last year of computer science before i graduate and idk where to start or look for work in france.

Man I feel you with the getting to meet people. It's the same way in Berlin. The Germans are a hard egg to crack. Not because they are rude, it's just a different culture. You are way better at getting out there and meeting people than I am though. I raelly struggle with this. I've been in Berlin three years, and it's the isolation and loneliness sometimes is the hardest part

Watching French people straight up walk into traffic before cars have even stoped definitely took some getting used to lol.

Jay putting his whole Francophonussy into his life in France for 7 years should be commended. Well done and bless!

in France you need to join clubs (associations) to extend your entourage, participate in local life, etc... I don't think it's that hard. But we are way more reserved and suspicious than our american brothers for sure

2:52 I think that’s a difficulty anywhere really. Working freelance is the only I won’t spontaneously combust in a cubicle.

I went to high school in Mexico City, and I find Paris has a very similar feel. Historical, cosmopolitan, intellectual…and really good food! We had spice, and flavors galore in Mexico…and, even good cheeses and breads…but, while Mexico City has Paris beat, as far as hot, salty, and spicy; Paris wins the gold with its cheeses, pastries, and wines. My dream: 3 months in France, 3 months in Mexico, 3 months in Italy, 3 months in Greece; mixing and matching with Spain, Portugal…and….well…darn…there is just soooo much to experience; best not to rule out ANY place, LOL!!

Well done. i lived in département des Antilles Martinique in my early 20s and later. When I was young I got sick there was taking care of for 2 weeks in hospital and then went to the pharmacy to purchase medicine afterwards i never s come see me What's thataw a doctor's bill in the pharmacy was for tealously inexpensive. When I asked my doctor why she looked at me, she said Columbia in New York City, she said because you're human this made no difference to me at the time but it does now.

Concernant la sauce piquante il y a "tabasco chipotle" et "tabasco jalapeno" et les flacons de piment chipotle (rayons épices) dans tous les supermarchés. Sinon vous pouvez trouver de la Hot sauce "Maison Martin" et "Hellicious" sur internet. Je ne savais que nous étions si difficiles d'accès en amitié, mais quand on la partage c'est pour la vie, et il faut l'entretenir. 🙃

Interesting. . . this made me reflect on my relationship with Sweden. The whole friend situation is the same. I'd venture to say worse because it is an extremely introverted country on the whole. The number one thing I would miss if I left is water. I can go anywhere, fill my water bottle from the tap and it will be amazing. Better than any water I ever had to buy in places where you can't do that. I remember the last time I was in the states feeling like everything I drank tasted like chlorine. I'd miss being able to file my taxes with a single click or an sms. Seriously, they make it SO easy. Well, at least if you have a normal job which is another thing that's similar to France. You don't fit well in society if you don't however changing lanes is well supported. I'd miss Christmas. I love the slower more soulful pace here and the fact that most of the decorating has to do with bringing nature inside and putting lights in the windows. Interestingly, when I was a kid I had a book about Christmas around the world and the one page that completely drew me in was the one featuring Lucia. Little did I know I'd one day watch my daughter don the crown of candles. I don't miss American Christmas lights at all. ... but I'm now 16 years in. I'd miss the air and the nature and the way winter makes me so hyper sensitive to every nuance of the arrival of spring. I'd probably miss a lot more small everyday things than I can imagine but I guess I'm unlikely to know which ones unless I leave.

I don’t actually agree with everything you are saying. Since you have been an entrepreneur and not an employee with a job, you may not be aware of the fact that in France, if you want to quit your job to try to switch careers, you can receive up to two (2) years worth of unemployment to have a stable income while you pursue another career path or start a business. Of course you have to have your business plan and capital for financing your business, but you can collect an income while you do that. Yes, landlords will require you to have a stable income if you want to rent a place to live, and that should be expected. Children are encouraged to explore different careers starting around 10-11 years old, with many avenues for learning a trade. The French do not believe that everyone is supposed to go to university. You should have the burning desire to attend university and not just do it because it’s the only way your parents will support you or you can get loans to live on instead of working. Some of this is just your lack of understanding of going through college, lycée and university. I never had a hard time making friends while traveling in France, but I am not an extrovert and don’t seek validation from being around other people. I am lucky to have family in France, but I agree the food tends to be bland and not spicy hot. People in France are very private, so striking up conversations is somewhat of an art there.

I blame the Earth and Greenwich. There’s definitely an art to being alone.

There are a lot of things that state more around Paris, to be honest. The countryside is different in some ways.

One of my biggest reservations about moving abroad is the instant lack of spice and a vague interpretation of Indian food.

sept ans a Paris.

1:04 Christopher Nolan found shaking

I still don’t understand why an American will give up the States for Paris

I've been to France on and off for around 20 years and the hot sauce thing is pretty infuriating. We currently live in the Middle East, and when we were there last year for a few months, I spent the whole time looking for and failing to find anything hotter than paprika.

Is anyone here in Lyon?

Your cigar smoking sills were really convincing. I thought you were a smoker.

6:18 Loneliness epidemic or what people should actually be calling, alienation.

If you are confused think what your Bostie thinks 🐾

Yeah, I don’t f**k with cigarettes because it’s a painful memory of a loved one. Also, it’s gross.

Hmm. I've been in that brasserie/cafe

I don’t co-mingle as a principle

It took you 7 years to fix up a Parisian dorm room with no toilet. You must be so proud!

Cigarette smoke 🤮 What do non-smoker French do? Just bear the stench?