sex AFTER birth/kids...let's chat while I get ready! 

Justice for real talks like these! Even though RU-vid doesn’t like it we definitely do!! ❤🔥

So relatable! After two kids and breastfeeding, I always felt so touched out. So constantly needed and pulled at. My body was wrecked and no longer sexual just a means to support two humans. It's probably the biggest issue for my husband and I in our marriage. He wants it all the time and I am in a whole other place physically and mentally. Thank you for being so honest 💚. It would also be interesting to hear Thomas' perspective on how you feel and some of these topics as a couple!

your honesty and transparency about motherhood is so so refreshing and helpful to me, thank you Melanie ❤

My sex drive was low in postpartum and it was hard to find the time but now our kids are 9 and 6 and our sex-life is thriving, has been since baby number 2 was over the age of 2 and a haif I'd say. It's in some ways better than before. ❤ And we discovered a new freedom after his vasectomy. This stage is so hard, but your libido and all the fun will come back. 💖

this video is so validating even though I have 0 kids haha, my libido definitely has its ups and downs (mostly downs) and while I know that it's normal and fine, I often feel like there is something wrong with my relationship like we have lost our "spark". We are still very much in love and spend as much time as possible together and we do a lot of physical touch, we just tend not to have sex or any sort of sexual intimacy as often as before. I know that this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with my relationship but I feel like I need to keep getting told it by different people in order for me to actually understand it

I don't have kids but part of my hesitations to have them one day is sex. I feel like we've been engrained this idea that if we don't provide sex enough to our partner's they will cheat or leave and for some reason this is one of the societal messages that has stuck with me the most. My partner doesn't pressure me (maybe a pout if it's been a long while at most) but when I'm having low libido phases I feel so so guilty and as if I'm not worthy. And the guilt of not having sex with him makes me want sex even less. It's not always like this but it comes and goes. I just feel like having kids would make me miserable and feel like a sexless maternal figure and that would push my partner away.

I LOVE videos like this because they help me with manage my expectations for motherhood one day. I've a bit of fear surrounding staying connected after birth because it's such a big change, but hearing you talk about your experience makes it seem so manageable and doable and actually fun in between the exhaustion. Thank you for your transparency and for remaining accessible to those of us who aren't in the same stage of life as you yet 💚💚💚

Thank you for this video. Although I am not a mother, and haven’t been through child birth. I am chronically ill, disabled. So also feel disconnected from my body and that’s it a battle ground. Hearing your experience of now being in your head and finding sex harder to connect too, i can really relate to that. I’ve also noticed sensitivity changes after medical trauma. Basically I just want to say thank you for talking about this. I am grateful for how you communicate and share things. You have helped me find the language to describe what has happened to my body. xxx

So relatable as a mom of two who breastfed for 3 years. Thanks for being so honest ❤

Love a chatty get ready with me! I don’t have kids myself (we’re undecided on them) but I’m glued to all your videos 😂

I enjoyed this video so much I wanted to like it multiple times. I'm 4,5 months postpartum and I feel less alone now, thank your Melanie !

i love this. I’m never going to have kids, but i love hearing about your experience with motherhood ❤💚

My third baby just turned one and I will still always choose sleep over sex 😂 one of us also always falls asleep with one of the kids so we barely even see each other in the evenings. But I’m positive that the sex will return…one day

I’m definitely a few years from this phase in my life but I still love hearing and learning. I feel like I’ll be so much better prepared for when the time comes.

I'm a single female without kids, due to health issues I spent 5+ months out of last year sleeping less than 4 hours out of 48. ANYTHING that isn't a hazard is worth trying to get sleep. On a different note, I've been watching you since well before you were married and I personally find your attractiveness is only increasing with time. So I hope you can rediscover your positive feelings about yourself soon, you seem like such a lovely and genuine person.

Love your sincerity! So good to see a woman being open to talk about sexuality as normal as it should be. You are an example to us!

Genuinely love this topic(I have 3yo and 9mo), but also wanted to share that I became your subscriber the moment I heard you were bedsharing with your toddler! I do feel inadequate for having made the choice to bedshare among all the sleep training parents out there. Thank you for normalizing it ❤

The joke about sitting on a co-sleeper’s couch 😂😂😂

Such a helpful and insightful video! I’m 25 and single but one day I hope to be a mother and have a partner and will certainly be revisiting this then!

This transparency is so refreshing Mel!

I love those real honest and long chatty videos of yours. Been watching you through so many different phases of my life and you always manage to make me feel calm and at home (even if I'm not). Thank you 💚

Thank you for this video, Melanie! ❤️ Could you do a video on things you wish you knew/should have done/appreciated before having kids? And maybe one after kids too?

My Mom told me that she would start working out once the youngest of us kids turned 1 1/2 . She didn’t put any pressure on herself before that. And she said it’s even better to slowly get back in shape because your skin will have enough time to adjust to the body :) but overall she said that it is sooo important to cherish the first years as a mother as they pass so quickly and to not put pressure on oneself ❤

you are so brave, Melanie, talking about this

Great video as always, Melanie 💚 “The tea as cold as my loins” made me chuckle sm 😂

i don't have kids yet but watching your journey through motherhood IS making me wonder how the heck my parents managed to have my sister and i only 18 months apart, like dang i feel a little bad for my mom

Love your videos Mel! Your transparency helps women so much. I’m pregnant with my first and it’s so funny how unglamorous it truly is. I find that a lot of people forget to check in on momma as well and only ask about the baby. Like honey!!! I’m dying of nausea over here. 😂

Always feel like I'm listening to a friend when I listen to your chatty videos 🥰

Haha I love your videos so much but omg your makeup application techniques make me want to scream!! Needed this video though, very relatable and reassuring. Hugs from South Africa!

4 months post partum with my second and I relate to this video so much. It's unreal. I had such a high sex drive and now it's just not existent. I know it'll come back but when, who knows.

I can totally relate!! Saw my gynecologists 2 months after giving birth because I was dry as Sahara desert down there, needed a special course of medication to make things normal

Love that Chip from Beauty and the Beast cup! Thanks for sharing so much useful knowledge with us. 🙌

That difficulty you mentioned about being in your head - I have that all the time, even without a baby. Maybe it’s because I have alot of stress, but what helps you switch off and be in the moment? 23:39

love love love this video! thank you for your honesty!

I haven’t had children myself, but my partner has a 9 year old and I feel really similar about a lot of the things you mentioned. His daughter obviously doesn’t co-sleep (she’s forming permanent memories these days lol), but ultimately we still spend a lot of time caregiving, and with two full time jobs it just feels like if she’s home, the sexual sides of us are just turned off (it is for me at least). It has also taken about a year and a half of living all together (part time for his daughter) to feel like I can be even a little sexual after she goes to bed when she’s at the house with us.

So I'm only 28 and definitely haven't had children yet, and though I absolutely get feeling great about ones body when it's fit and physically strong (it's just a different feeling physically!), when it isn't, I like that it looks just like bodies in nude paintings/drawings/photography in classical art, because most of those people depicted are just regular people that move their bodies a regular amount of time and I find the realness and also adultness (in contrast of teenage bodies) beautiful

Will watch this immediately I’m at home…I’m here for the algorithmic game. 😅

I've commented a lot on your videos today. But it's like you are speaking my thoughts about my body, I'd love to be body confident after two children, but I'm not, and "melting candle" is exactly how I feel. Thank you for being open and honest, as great as the body positive movement is, I feel as if it isn't OK to be open about feeling down about how you look/feel. So thank you x

I really appreciate this video! Just had my second baby nearly 4 months ago now and absolutely our sex life has changed, probably more drastically with the second so far. I'm fairly confident it will recover more to what it was, probably around the 18 month mark. It's true that right now I don't often feel sexy and there isn't much time we have alone anyway so it's rough. I agree with your statement about the "big o" though lol

Can you list all the skincare/make-up products you used in this video? After seeing the final result I’m planning on buying all of them 😂

Great video, as always, can totally relate, your ability to share these things so honestly is so appreciated ❤ You've talked about not being in your head and letting go during sex... I've always really struggled with that, with kids and before as well. My brain is always on and it's annoying. What helped you be good at that (I know you said before kids, but still)? I feel like this uptight not fun not sexy person for not being able to just be more free and then it becomes a spiral and I'm more and more like that Love you!

Amazing video, thank you Melanie-watched it while nap-trapped after nursing 😂❤

Yesss amazing content I’m 25 no kids but love these videos

Thank you for your authenticity!!! Leaving a comment for the algorithm 💚

Thank you this has helped me sooooooooooo much, like you could not imagine!!! I’m so glad to know that „others feel the same“! Thank you ❤

This was the perfect end to a chaotic day 😅❤

35 and a half weeks pregnant today expecting my first little boy. My partner no longer wants to have sex because of the bump and is doing the typical “im scared im going to poke him” none sense.😂 im already starting to feel quite insecure of my body though the stretchmarks have just started and my thighs have doubled in size. I need some body positivity in my life after this little one comes out!

Love these insights 💚 And thank you for sharing and your vulnerability, even with body positivity stuff. I think it's wonderful that despite that, you seem so fulfilled by everything else in your life right now. But I hope that it's something you can continue to work towards having more health there 💪🏽💚

perfect timing with my breakfast and tea!! Love you Mel💜

After I was done with breastfeeding my iibido came back. Makes sense when you think about it!

Am I actually first? Wowee 😊 thanks for the video, this is one of the things that sorta scares me about having kids so I look forward to hearing what you have to say

Gave it a Like and I'm leaving a comment for algorithm purposes

I definitely find the societal pressure more than my partner. He’s very understanding. I do not feel like a sexual being at all (22 months postpartum). Though I like feeling closeness to my partner. Sex on the sofa once the baby is asleep when I have the energy- I’ll get back to a more sexual me at some point.

“I feel a bit like a melting candle” YES!! 9m PP here and very much noticing the saggier, jigglier parts now that I’ve got an interest in sex again. Trying to remind myself not that I shouldn’t feel this way, but that it’s just fine and neutral that I feel this way, no big deal. I don’t need to change my body unless I want to, but it’s okay to not love parts of it right now.

Thanks for videos like this, Melanie!

So relatable The lipstick explanation was funny 😂

Love love love these kind of videos ❤ & such good information to learn! Let out a laugh there with the lipstick orgasm demonstration 😄 Can I ask what shade that was too 🥰 gorgeous! I’m after getting CT secret salma 😍❤️

Melanie please do more writing or reading content, I miss it 💚

My baby was born 17 weeks ago via c section and since then I've been poorly and needed a nephrectomy so 2 abdominal surgeries in a short space of time. I am hopefully getting a kidney transplant in a couple of months so another abdominal surgery is required. When you said you feel like a melted candle I laughed out loud 🤣 that's what I feel like!

Big sister sitting beside & answering every possible question 🙆🌄

Love your story about your confusion about how to make sex work… very similar to my confusion as a teen!! I had it explained as being like “having someone else put their finger up your nose, except it’s a penis and a vagina”, and that was it… so I was so confused about how that was physically possible 😂

Thank you for sharing this with us ❤

I LOVE these videos! They are the only thing I watch ❤❤❤

thank you so much for your openness and honesty

“Tea as cold as my loins” 😂 love ya Mel 💚

Life really is about different seasons.. having kids completely disrupt life entirely. Disrupt schedules, sex, partner relationships etc.. it's definitely not for me.

Soooo relatable! Thanks for being honest about this stuff!!!❤

Oh my good yes getting out of my head has been the biggest challenge...

we LOVE a chatty get ready with me 💚

Comment for algorithm, those topics are important too!

How have things changed downstairs in terms of tightness etc from the man's perspective? Does it feel the same? I've always wondered this as I don't have any children (yet), but it's something I've heard male friends talk about?x

Thank you for this! ❤

Thanks so much for this video 💛 Sending love from Scotland Xx

what you were saying about being in your head...i've largely had much better solo sex than partnered sex for this exact reason. i'm never not thinking!! it frustrates me to no end. there are other factors, ofc, like i know exactly what feels good to me, and i can just do that, and not have to explain it to another person, but yeah.

You are always amazing melanie love your intelligent videos you are a good person i wish nothing but the best for you and your beautiful family

I’m exclusively nursing my 4 mo old, and we bed share. And I have POP since the birth. I’ll be surprised if we have sex before the end of the year tbh.

Thank you so much for sharing all pf this Melanie...I know you have helped many people by sharing this. 💚

Love the video. Such an interesting topic!

Wish me luck as my husband and I are officially “trying” to get me pregnant! This is our first month, and I have no idea how long it will take. PIV does nothing for me, so it does feel like a chore, but I always feel accomplished after I’ve done it since it took me a long time to be able to put anything in my vagina.

I can't believe how similar we are with preferences and everything...after 2nd baby I feel awful about my body and uncomfortable undressing around my husband and I'm just stuck right now...I used to be very interested in sex and couldn't imagine not having it everyday and now I'm scared to do it more than a few times a month honestly. I don't know what to do.

"Tea as cold as my loins" made me cackle

Thank you melanie really helpful video !

I'm pregnant with my first and since beginning of my pregnancy we didn't have sex. I feel so alwful, have low libido, feel pain in my back, cramps, baby moving inside of me, breast hurt, risk of bleeding due to some pregnancy problems.. I always had very high libido and it's very surprising for my but I simply cannot force myself to have PIV sex

Feeling all the same❤ sex is more intimate now too... yes it's always a quicky😂😂😂😂

I think it's really normal, everything is a season in nature so thats no different with our bodies. I think modern culture puts way too much importance and fetishizes women's sexuality to the point that we too objectify ourselves without knowing it, we only realize how out of touch and icky we feel when we aren't feeling sexy. It's sad, because I think had we been taught from youth that everything in life is just a part of us and everything has seasons and child rearing in general is going to equal a dry spell sexually, I don't think so many would be suffering so badly with the pressures of "what that might mean". Too often women take these normal very natural things and are so hard on themselves feeling like somethings wrong with them, and our male counterparts are also ignorant to it and don't make it any easier. I think overall we all have a lot of unlearning to do and give ourselves a lot more grace. Sex isn't everything.. it's a small sacrifice for such a short amount of time, for bringing in and raising new human life. I think we all have this movie image of what life should be when the reality is so different but not any less than. Intimacy is key, communication is key, honesty and feeling seen and respected are key, community is key. These things are the pillars of life that will get you through all of the seasons. Don't worry too much about sex. It comes and it goes. If your partner truly loves you and respects you and is any amount of mature, they will understand, you can always adapt and compromise where you feel comfortable. There's nothing to worry about.

Gave a like cause you are the best ❤

Has now been 2 years since giving birth to my daughter and my sex drive is still nowhere to be seen. Creates quite a bit of tension in my relationship as my partner wants to do it all the time, and I can’t use the “I just had a baby” explanation any longer😬

Your orgasm analogy had me absolutely ROARING with laughter 😂

Thank you for an honest talk❣️🙏🏽🤗

You're looking beautiful, I love your style and advice :)

THIS IS TOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!

Commenting for algorithm love all ur content sm xxx

Love you posting frequently 💚 But take of yourself 💙

In Germany it is not allowed to have sex in the same room with (sleeping) children.

El comentario en español que buscabas 🤭 comento para que el algoritmo no la desaparezca

the O question cracked me 😂💀

My baby is nearly 3 months and me and my husband haven’t had sex yet. My usually high sex drive is nowhere to be seen! I no longer feel sexy and I’m co-sleeping! Cuddles from my husband make my skin crawl because I’m fed up of being touched all the time 😢

Absolutely loved this video, Mel! And I will get back to watching it after I pick up, feed, bathe and put to bed my kid. 😂

"Tea as cold as my loins" I feel that and I'm not even a mom yet XD

Thank you So much I have learned alot From Your Honest talk about life Experiences ☘️. I do still have 1 off topic question Do you Bleave in The Afterlife , Heaven and hell .Am Anxious 4 An Answer That Can Help me Understand A Divine matter. Thank you.☘️