Shame Vs. Guilt - Their Meanings and How You Can Heal 

+Berean Gal You're welcome!

@@mike62mcmanus Corruption is everywhere, and corrupt individuals are even found in the church, the saddest of all, leaders. However this is NOT the teaching of the church! Just look at Fr. Mike as an example of the true teaching. Anyone who commits such evils hides themselves as a Catholic and uses the power for evil. God is not fooled, and neither should we be.

@@mike62mcmanus that’s not Catholicism, but men.

Yes, as a person who’s recently come back to Christ in the last 7 months, attending an evangelical church, I can see there is a lack without a confessional procedure for us to release shame to our father. I will ask my pastor today what he thinks. Praise be to father Mike and all those reading this ❤ Our father forgives us for all our shame, if we know him.

Did you confess to your spouse?

@@thesoundofthesuburbs do you think he or she should ?

@@lauraanderson7358 In my opinion, this is information that should probably be discussed early on in a committed relationship.

@@thesoundofthesuburbs should have, didn't. i think the sacrament of confession was sufficient. ? no ?

@Ryan Walker i would understand why she wouldn't. she can't change it. it would hurt him. all sin is against God. she has been absolved. peace.

The community should feel guilty and ashamed when they reject a rape victim

AMEN! God Bless you..

God bless.

Praying that you come to the Church of Christ

Praise God ❤. His lessons are useful bc they are fully humane, and they are humane bc it is from God❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Do both, you are maturing in the spiritual life. I recommend that you get a spiritual director if you can.

Look through my playlists and see if you find anything that calls you. Wisdom is a long and harsh bit fruitful road. God bless you.

The Archivist I have a spiritual director whom I meet with once a month :)

Whoa... This really spoke to me. I'm going to have to keep this in mind!

Good point. I think many people have mislaid their trust in someone. fr. Mike - any suggestions? ( I feel the best person to talk to directly about this would be Jesus - as God knows every thought you have ever had & God takes away our shame & can heal you & make this situation in someway better or of less importance to you, so you no longer feel angst over it).

I have shame, humiliation and guilt.

If after you see that you have sinned you ask God for forgiveness with true repentence, He forgives you immediately -- asking only that you take the sin to Confession where He will absolve you of all your sins. Once you have confessed it, think of it no more: It's gone forever! God does not want you to worry over your sins, constantly feeling like you need to keep apologizing over and over. His Mercy is greater than our sins.

You can ask for forgiveness to God on your own and they shall be forgiven. Also, when attending mass, at the start when they ask for the forgiveness of sins those sins, those considered venial and not mortal, are forgiven. But if you so choose to, you can go again to confession and confess those.

This is a great comment. I'm sad to see it did not gain any traction.

Perhaps you should ask a local priest who has the knowledge and wisdom to answer you. Or maybe write an email to Fr. Mike. If you don't ask the right people, you'll never know

@Mah e I haven't gone to church for years, because the story of Jesus always makes me cry and the congregation asked me not to return. I still feel guilty.

@Mah e forgiveness doesn't take away guilt. shame is a feeling. guilt is an act of the will.

You need to stop cherry picking the gospel and read the whole thing to get the true meaning of what you said there.

Paul - I'm sorry you feel so isolated & alone. Many go through the exact same feelings, including myself. Though I never entered seminary (being female I wouldn't), I have many of the same concerns, problems, and feelings as you. What I am finding is I am receiving the healing I need through Christ via the Byzantine Catholic Church. Many of the Eastern Rites (the Eastern "lung" of the Church as St. John Paul the Great was fond of saying) center their spirituality around healing, with Christ being known as the Divine Physician. Believe me, I had a decade worth of serious questions & a lifetime of terrible sins I hadn't confessed - but when I finally did so recently, I received a boatload of things to focus on & do that are not at all burdensome. This is usually accomplished by going to the parish priest who is also often the pastor and takes it upon himself to be Father Confessor and Spiritual Father of his flock. Being that he strives to know his flock personally, you get "customized" acceptance, love and mercy. This often extends to his flock also providing fellowship, love, and acceptance to new and seasoned members of the parish. This is not to put down any other rite of the Catholic Church,- after all different people respond to different approaches in life. I just find that for serious healing, the Byzantine Catholic spirituality is hard to beat & truly obtains what it sets out to do - bring unity of the Church back to Christ so that we all may be one. God's Blessings to you my friend.

@paullayton3881 Sorry this is eight years later but if you do see this, I'm praying for you. I hope you have found healing and good souls who support you. With gentle, wise religious to walk with you and experienced compassionate professionals to help you understand it was *not* your fault. Boys and men can be victims too. Sometimes its harder for you because you feel you have to "just get over it" You don't! You *need* help healing too. Take gentle care mate, in my thoughts and prayers 🙏

Coming HOME is an amazing adventure!!

Chris Ortego I am not father Mike, but I am autistic. Some options you may explore are data-related jobs, logistics, analysis, academic research. Writing and blogging are great options as well.

And you can do nice things anonymously. Paying someone's bill without telling that person, etc. :)

Not sure if this is still relevant for you, but there are many ways to help people through cyberspace. Study and practice virtue and be there for those in need and an example of Christ to those who come across you. Also know the Faith and inform the uninformed. I hope that helps you a bit. It was a stepping stone I took and through it God lead me to greater courage, for His sake, rather than my own. He can do the same for you, if you let Him. Trust Him. God bless you.

Fr.Mike has the gifts of preaching and teaching. If you ever need an example of those for some reason.