"You made the choice to listen to people who aren't even in relationships. I was just about to propose to you. Thank you for the last five years. Goodbye."
Any man that understands that you can't break a pinky promiss with a kid is gold. He's a GOOD man. Deep down, she thinks she CAN do better. She is wrong.
Unfortunately we don't live in a world that judges men by character and women have a natural buff to their desirability while young. A man can be objectively better than a woman physically and emotionally and she could still be out of his league because the standards of men is far too low compared to the standard women have for men. It's cold hard truth.
For OP's sake I really hope that immature and insecure of a woman understands what kind of a gem she has in her possession. Because if not, she's going to make 2 people's lives really miserable by destroying not only hers, but also OP's. I have given 1 woman in the past a second chance and it didn't end up going too well. She just showed me pretty quickly why it wasn't worth it and I ended it quickly after that.
@@sailor5853 Second chances in the context of relationships are odten coinflips. No one owes you that and you owe no one that. For small mistakes that ain't that bad to do. But if you gf outright dumps you cuz you're "out of her league" in the context presented there's 2 massive red flags. That implies she cares more about what people offer rather than the kind of person they are and the connection itself, and secondly, se is easly manipulated by her colleagues instead of also thinking for herself. If she dumps you for meassuring you as being out of her league, if you marry her, at the friends instructions, the same way she would dump you, she would also cheat on you and make both of your lives miserable. If you blindly give her a second chance in such a situation then you deserve it.
@@sailor5853 That is a very unhealthy approach to take in relationships, especially because everyone's "deal breakers" vary on a scale between petty and justified. Individual A may give Individual B multiple chances due to disliking how they clean, cook, dress, or take care of themselves, but Individual B isn't exactly obliged to give more than one chance if they dump A over the first time they hit them. Also, if you dump someone what does it matter if you gave them a bunch of "chances" and then realized your standards were unreasonably high and the real point of conflict. Why do you deserve a second chance just because before you were giving them chances to meet your unreasonable standards?
To get anywhere in adult life, you have to COMMIT! STICK to your choice and live with the consequences. She's a combination of weak and immature. Personally, I would have moved on.
Exactly, why did you let her be with you? You are out of her reach, she needs to understand the consequences of her actions deeply, not take any advice from another woman, maybe take an advice from your own mother! She has good advices maybe, but, why COWORKERS?! NOT YOUR OWN MOTHER?! I realized that Kate goes to cosmetology school, so stay away from her!
Just seemed like a cover up to me. Reading between the lines i think Kate had a fling, and it got super serious hence the break up but the guy didnt wanna commit to Kate so she went back to OP crying.
Your love for your SO is so fragile and your mind so weak that a stranger saying that over and over is enough to prompt you breaking the relationship up? Do us a favor and go to therapy.
This. My ex allowed herself to be brainwashed by a "friend" and all of a sudden I didn't make her happy anymore, but the habits she had taken up - which were also his habits - sure gave her satisfaction. All under the guise that I was "robbing her of her youth" because I didn't like nightclubs and she all of a sudden loved them.
If I were op I would give her a 2nd chance. She left her job on her own due to it and when op got sick she was with him the entire time, if she didn’t care and was going to cheat I doubt she would have been by op’s side as much. She also seems to be respecting op’s wishes in the no contact stuff. And also if she really looks defeated and is due to separating with op I think she really does care and regrets her decision, if she was just playing at feeling bad and was weak enough to listen to others agains about being out of his league she would drop the act of feeling bad when she’s away with her own friends and away from op. I believe she learned her lesson.
I'm sorry, but if people tried to talk down about someone I love, I would have to agree with them. "You're absolutely right! He's a hundred times a better person than I am, and my life is blessed by his presence in it! I'm so thankful he decided to marry down....!"😄
I've seen this first hand. Girlfriend or Wife starts agrument separates for a few hours for "space", has sex with fling, only to gaslight him until "HE" apologizes about the argument, then resumes relationship with Bf/Husband... I am not even joking. This IS something women do to not "Cheat".
Telling your partner that you are out of their league or could do better is amongst the worst things you could do in a relationship. I think OP should leave this woman for good. She will behave this way again for sure.
To be totally real, sounds a lot like bro should just wait for the little sister to age up and marry her instead. She seems to know quality better than her hairdresser sister.
@@sproutedquinoa5179 At any rate, this entire ordeal has at the very least showed her little sister what NOT to do in life. As painful as the entire thing must have been, that little girl is probably going to have a better life for having experienced this from the sidelines. I shudder to think how harshly she'd shut up any future co-workers that try this shit with her future man.
I have heard a disturbingly high number of stories where women are talked into leaving their man by friends and colleagues. How can an educated woman be such a simpleton to not think these things through. Its like their friends stroke their ego by saying "You're a 10, queen! You deserve better. I am only saying it for your own good because I care soooo much about you, bestie!" And women just buy it and abandon a perfectly good relationship.
Pear pressure. On top of that, the constant attack from her coworker for months, it bounds to make someone doubt themselves. The best way to avoid this is by leaving that toxic environment
‘no contact but life doesn’t happen the way you expect it’ if Kate wasn’t conventionally attractive he would thank that person for their support and the good memories, then say he made peace about not being together before moving on, to many; looks mean everything in regards to their tolerance threshold and self respect. Personally, it’s how nurturing the lady is when it comes to equal effort (communication, food, fitness, team goals, logistics, sex), if she’s good in all aspects except one, i’ll try to compromise in the middle, if she becomes worse and can’t accept feedback, the effort isn’t mutual anymore and it’s best to gradually make peace with calmly pulling away before the inevitable break up
Young people make horrible decisions and this isn’t like cheating or something irreconcilable she has thoroughly proven she loves OP he 100% needs to get better and get back with her
"Why did you walk away at that moment?" she just told him she didn't want him anymore. what was he supposed to do? but also that was just a tactic for her to try to regain control in that moment.
If someone says they're out of your league or others think so then ask what they wanna do, if they go along and wanna think that let them go be with someone they believe is in their league. You can't make someone be with you or feel somehow different or think differently than they inherently will so if that's in their head, it's best to just let them go. Let them discover what they threw away but never go back. Never settle for being someone's second, third, last choice....
If all it takes is listening to people who aren't a part of the relationship for her to completely tank it, do you really want to date this woman? Not to mention anyone who still believes in the concept of "leagues" in relationships is clearly not mature enough and is still a high schooler.
I think she’s sincere that she messed up. I dunno but knowing the whole story made me think of how she was and is. If she slept with someone during the time off, thats a different story but from everything thats was told, she just made a bad call. Its not an unforgivable thing. She is making it up to him the best way she could, being there for him. I hope op is doing well. Good story.
It sounds like the salon workers where jealous of what she had. Everybody makes mistakes and this was a big one. It would be a real shame if they can't work it out. That's a lot to lose for a mistake, even a serious one like this.
Good women she is, she realised her mistakes quick and made efforts to correct it , hope OP gets well and they end up together old with eachother with long, happy and prosperous life.
Dump her now. If she is this weak willed and brings so much chaos and drama into the relationship, do you really think it is going to get better after she has you locked in the marriage choke hold?
(I'm halfway through) If this story is true and not reddit fiction, it just sounds like a bunch of miserable people trying to bring someone down to their level, they aren't strong willed enough to fight it, but regrets pulling the trigger only 4 hours after the fact. She probably would have never even considered doing it without her coworkers there.
You have duel degrees and Kate is a hair dresser. There is no such thing as being out of someone's league. One of those new friends had her eye on you. Your gf is flaky, please move on , she was waving red flags, seems insecure and immature.
I agree with the first but not the second. Everyone deserves a second chance as long as they are willing to prove they knew what they did was wrong and are willing to prove they learned from their mistake. Kate did show that she knew what she did was wrong. However from what op stated she hasn't completely proven she has learned from her mistake.
@@zomfragger why do people say "everyone deserves a 2nd chance?" if that is so why do people also say "once bitten twice shy" i tried to shoot Trump do I deserve a 2nd chance? ( bad example as a lot of people would say Hell yes go for a 1000 chances) the 1st chance is your TRUE nature live with your mistakes your out of her league? she is the one washing hair for a living, a new field? what filing and painting nails. instead of a ring buy her a trash can it is what she derserves
She offered the phone, but would have deleted anything incriminating first. Ask her to login to her phone account in front of you, so you can see the call/text records. It won't be the contents, but will almost certainly show she was contacting someone else in the 4 hour period before the regret call. Though that won't work if the contact was using something like snapchat
Hopefully he's recovering, and his memory is intact, good luck. Since she let others pray on her insecurities and since everything happened and she got a wake-up call with his hospitalization she may only be insecure and not a total loss. If things stay friendly while recovering and plus a year it might be good for them both to get back together. Good luck to him and his recovery.
Like I get his point but from his telling you can really tell how devastated and regretful she is. You can tell she truly loves him and respects him and his way of dealing with the situation. Ive read stories like this that the opposite side gets someone else or just starts throwing a fuss but she kept quiet and respected his stance. I wouldnt tell you to go back to her but I would tell you to not discard that option as a whole. Because her love really is true.
The amount of people who are willint to throw 5 years away like that is crazy, maybe after a while she can grow and be better? Not everything is so black and white, damn
I have a bad feeling OP passed away. I looked him up Reddit, no updates for over a year. He has not been active with any comments on other posts either
ever since OP mentioning from the start that he felt she was oit of his league, then said she worked in cosmetology that told me what kind of co workers whe had lmao
Some people really can't stand seeing other people happy. I'd be willing to bet those women at Kate's work have never had a stable healthy relationship, and their disdain of this man was born out of jealousy and spite. The type of people who are miserable in their own failures and can't stand to see others be happy doing what they couldn't.
That break up made no sense from what she was saying, the truth is she already was having an affair with someone else and when he broke up with her and went to tell her AP, the AP probably didn’t wanna commit and she simply went back to her plan B.
But such a thing can happen again. Besides her story is fishy i dont buy it. Sounds like she had somebody locked in, but the guy didnt wanna commit so most likely they had sex and the guy just pumped n dumped and now Kate had regrets and wanted her ex back.
I would have been like i have a double major and make X amount you're a hair stylist, so yes, you're out of my league, but you're not above me in terms of social status or monetary value. If you want to listen to your toxic under educated coworkers who apparently are still mentally in high school, be my guest. But once you realise misery loves company and they were trying to get you to walk away from a good thing because they didn't have it, you won't find me where you left me.
My father died in 2020 in an assisted living facility under quarantine because one of the orderlies got COVID and came into work, giving it to 12 residents.
Maybe I'm naive, maybe im ignorant, maybe I'm just not buying a lot of the reddit/yt comment BS, but I'm actually rooting for them to get back together. I see alot of people on here trying to read further into the story than what is actually there, all i see to be fact is that she listened to her coworkers, dumped him, regretted it within a day, he felt betrayed or at least hurt that she was that dumb, they split for a time, he found out he had cancer before they were arranged to meet back together, and she was there when she didnt have to be. Maybe there was a side fling, but we dont know that, there is no indication of it. What we do know is that they were best friends since school, and she caved to her coworkers, and he listened to reddit. I'm not saying reddit is entirely bad, but just as some have said, single ladies make more single ladies, and misery loves company, he probably listened to some miserable people on reddit who wanted to try and warn him away from women. Reddit threads can be as bad as those coworkers of hers. I know now is not a good time to be dating, I've seen all the videos, and i know alot of the comments on here have too. However, OP had been in a relationship since school. I think he may have done the right thing telling her how he was going to propose, and took some time apart, by doing that he proved not only did he actually love her, but as some have said he was out of her league. Sometimes a relationship does truely need to break down, before it can be stronger than ever. The most telling part of this story is how when he was in the hospital, she came to his side. They were seperated, for three months, before that could finish he went to the hospital. She didnt have to come to his side, and neither did her family, but they did, as he said she was his one guest, and was on the uncomfortable couch. That, to me, shows a level of dedication that is worth marrying. Most weddings have 'in sickness and in health' in the vows, and she is proving that already. When he stated about seeing her a couple weeks after the split, he could visibly see the toll it took on her, and how she was faking her enjoyment around friends. That shows that she deeply regretted her actions, and i would bet her parents were incredibly disappointed in her... Also notice how he doesnt talk about her constantly badgering him to get back together, showing that she actually respected him and his boundries. I just hope he doesnt pull a nottinghill like she did. If i were him, after recovery of course, i would set some hard boundries, and try to help her with confidence, etc. But most importantly if i were him i would marry her, maybe even before he leaves the hospital, to my mind she has proven her worth. She will need to relook at her life, and how she balances it, but she has proven her worth, in my mind. Like i said i might be naive, i am 24 with never having a relationship, but i think most of these comments are complete bullshit, based on all of these internet cheating stories, this isnt one of them. He should get back together.
You just said it yourself lol you are 24 and never been in a relationship lol. You have some good points but you have no experience whatsoever in this department. Help her with her self confidence ? She was confident enough about herself to dump her boyfriend of years because her coworkers bad mouthed him instead of going out of her way to praise him. Her going to him when he’s in the hospital over actually serious matters is to appease her own guilt after letting him down. Being in the hospital isn’t proving the vows. It’s taking care of the person when they are personally incapable of doing so. It’s definitely a positive indicator but to take that and say she’s doing the vows given the context is a lot. But yes you are naive, ignorant and honestly not bad to not buy all the Reddit / comment bs. Put it through your own experiences unfortunate for now you have none. And your inner romantic and the fact you are lonely will push you to getting played time and time again. I say this as someone in your position a little over a decade ago.
4 hour from break-up to regret call? Extra fast on the cheating question? The only regret she has is failure to get into serious relationships with affair partner. Probably shot down. I won't even be surprised if I'll learn it's because of other party knowing of two-timing.
I have a different take on this situation, if it is even true. Yes I think she cheated or got turned down by another guy then ran back to OP. I also think he was always going to take her back or he would have cut everything right there, but now he needs her and her family to take care of him so he will take her back of course. She got lucky that he's sick and she knows she has him back now 100%. She was wrong for what she did, but he was wrong for stringing her along in a way. Yes I think he is now using her and her family for his care, is that right or wrong? So he needs her now and eventually she will do whatever she wants and he will stay with her because he will feel that he owes it to her for caring for him. I doubt either one of them will be happy in a long marriage. This is a case of everyone here is the ahole in my opinion.
Y'all are hella cruel and harsh saying to not take her back lol. When I originally seen this story, I thought it would be the same old "got with another person, relationship failed, tried to go back" type of thing. People can get manipulated, it does happen. I feel as if she should be forgiven, nearly immediately after she realized her mistake and attempted to mend the mistake immediately. She went on to continuously spend her time mending that mistake and helping the person she loves. Idk, I just have a feeling 90% of you have personal feelings involved, so you have a biased point towards this.
Who cares what league you and your partner are in. All that matters is how much you like each other and how happy you both make each other. Literally nothing else matters.
The coworkers are definitely basing things on looks. She must be very good looking and him not. They're salon workers, they're not gonna base things on objectively important things. Its about appearance
@IDiggPattyMayonnaise Well given that some men are shallow enough to chase after looks, they're not entirely wrong. Just thank God that there are good men who see beyond the surface beauty.
People may use “out of my league” to refer to someone who is better, but most of the time it’s referring to people by looks. Don’t worry, your degree is still awe-inspiring.
@@limitlesssky3050way to stoop to the level of the Salon workers of this story by implying all salon workers are not smart. You’re not as “holier than thou” as you think you are.
