Should I Adopt My Wife’s Son?

Подписаться 866 тыс.

Просмотров 42 тыс.

50% 1

On today’s episode, we hear about:
- A man wondering if he should adopt his wife’s son
- A woman struggling to balance work, school and home life
- A wife worried about starting a family on her husband’s income
Next Steps
📞 Ask John a question! ter.li/0pimqr
📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life: ter.li/516el6
📝 Anxiety Test: ter.li/l4ghre
📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future: ter.li/6o1ggn
❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: ter.li/sth7tj
💭 John's Free Guided Meditation: ter.li/564roo
💭 Learn more about Nina Rehu and Mother Untitled: ...
Offers From Today's Sponsors
• 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp ⮕ bit.ly/3seoBCe
• 3 free months of Hallow ⮕ www.hallow.com...
• 25% off Thorne orders ⮕ www.thorne.com...
• 20% off Organifi with code DELONY ⮕ www.Organifi.c...
• Up to 30% off + 2 free pillows at Helix Sleep ⮕ www.HelixSleep...
Listen to More From Ramsey Network
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/wtjnp7
💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights ⮕ ter.li/3opzgn
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/iy4cj0
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/46pj7d
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/9rrvlr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/drmpbx
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ux0fyw
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...

Опубликовано:

28 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 455

@LeonardEarnshaw 3 месяца назад

How easy it is for some people to just get divorced.... I know relationships are hard, But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through.

@BruceKnapp-n4q 3 месяца назад

I honestly want to find happiness too. I've got a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I really miss her, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different paths, like therapy, to fix things.

@LeonardEarnshaw 3 месяца назад

Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

@BruceKnapp-n4q 3 месяца назад

Your guidance is well-received. I'll quickly search for her online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; her absence is keenly felt.

@LeonardEarnshaw 3 месяца назад

You should

@aliciacarstensen7904 2 месяца назад

Well I'm stronge on abuse is a deal breaker. Was still willing to allow him to seek help. Ofcourse it didn't work. After. 25 yrs divorcing I don't give a crap if you or anybody else calls me a quitter. I bet you brag and show off how amazing you are and everybody rolls their eyes behind your baack😂😂😂😂

@santafilipina9020 3 месяца назад

I rebuffed a single dad once. He was piss and vinegar after that, pointed all the "red flags" about me when we just barely met. All I said was I didn't date single dads and that it wasn't a character issue.

@actuallyterry 3 месяца назад

Same. I was so shocked by the response.

@ihateallyall 3 месяца назад

that’s something men love to do to comfort themselves over their insecurities. he did that to you because he’s so deeply insecure that his life didn’t go as planned, and that he’s single with kids. it’s like when men get angry when a woman rejects their advances and they start calling them “ugly and fat”.

@4st1zz9 3 месяца назад

I met a guy that was super cool and we got along fairly well. I found out he had a child late in the game, because he was embarrassed he didn't have custody. I never asked him if he had kids because I never saw any and he never spoke of a child. I just let him know nicely that it wasn't for me. He went off, and I had to remind him that's probably why he doesn't have visitation rights. Even if I did date men with kids I would never date men who can't step up for their own child.

@Alexander44665 3 месяца назад

I am not keen on dating single mothers. I understand your apprehension entirely. More often than not, being a step-parent is an awful job-obviously there are exceptions.

@acd1168 3 месяца назад

I don’t blame you. My mom told me not to date or marry a man with kids.

@cwalker6911 3 месяца назад

Please don’t adopt a little person if you have not raised yourself first. Redpill nonsense is not anyone’s daddy

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

Too late, he already has two additional kids with her.

@lilaschwarz1236 3 месяца назад

Thank God the caller seems to be absolutely on the edge to break the redpill cycle and may be the one to show up for the little one, so he can become a good man.

@lunacarolyn 3 месяца назад

Thank you so much for the red pill convo. So dangerous!

@FreeSpirit47 3 месяца назад

The first caller is in serious need of counseling. He's damaged by what his own fathers cheating & abandonment, he's repeating another version of it. He leaps before he looks then has his "Oh sh*t moment" when it's too late. Time for him to fix his issues before going out seed spreading.

@TG-nh6ni 3 месяца назад

Him and his wife both or they are gonna keep traumatizing the kids.

@FreeSpirit47 3 месяца назад

@@TG-nh6ni Agreed.

@jackiehammerton 3 месяца назад

I loved the first call. I’m rooting for this family ❤

@ethancarrera9602 3 месяца назад

She can continue working after having the baby and he can be stay home dad until the child starts school.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 3 месяца назад

Thank you for addressing red pill, Dr John

@Jessica-rf7lv 3 месяца назад

@@dabd8175 real men are at work now, not trolling Dr. John.

@arsm11 3 месяца назад

@@dabd8175 most women would choose single life over dealing with a red pill bro, every time & without any hesitation.

@JETTSTACHI 3 месяца назад

@@dabd8175 It's called patriarchy. It destroys both men's and women's lives. I've never heard this doctor address it.

@BirdDogey1 3 месяца назад

He comes off as a closeted gay man.

@lyndalamb3221 3 месяца назад

You need to vacuum and clean bathrooms more than once a month.

@tmi4507 3 месяца назад

The third caller is wild. She doesn’t even know what being a part of a family who makes $100k feels like. She’s in such a privileged position with a paid off house. My god lady just take a couple breaths and relax 😂.

@papabeard7705 3 месяца назад

Right? Or how bout this, the husband stays home and she works since she makes soooooo much more.

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

She definitely could use a xanax or 2

@RndmAnvgr777 3 месяца назад

She's beyond insane with the way she's looking at things. Her house is paid off. Their cars are paid off. Maybe her husband is happy in his job and doesn't want to change? Doesn't even seem like she's considered how he feels at all. She kinda seems like a nightmare to me as far as controlling and micro-managing. Does she not realize that most people survive just fine without making anywhere near that amount of money? I've got to imagine the pressure on this poor dude is immense and it's kinda telling she didn't even bring that up.

@CarolynnMarkey 3 месяца назад

@@RndmAnvgr777 we make 70k single family income ( i stay home with the three kids and homeschool) and we are debt free. totally doable---it is hard but do able. we live in VA in a low cost area. my husband is an engineer.

@nathansimpson5721 3 месяца назад

I think I actually hate Kari

@starlingswallow 3 месяца назад

James, I'm so sorry your dad walked out on you guys. 😢 I feel your pain. My dad emotionally "walked out" and is still around. It's just heartbreaking. Both stink, majorly. Big hugs, brother. ❤

@nedawilmhoff3599 3 месяца назад

Part of my family lives in West Palm and what you have is a major importance in that area. That mean driving BMWs and Mercedes are the everyday cars.

@ninabond172 3 месяца назад

I bought my own deodorant in high school too!

@eurekahope5310 3 месяца назад

My parents would buy necessities, but not my preferences unless prices were comparable. If I didn't like the sale or Costco pack, I could buy my own. Seems reasonable to me...

@AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach 2 месяца назад

23:15 I literally laughed out loud at her question! I am self-employed, and I have like five jobs. Three of them are businesses that I own, none of them full-time. I’m also going back to school, one class at the time, not counting the monthly training and supervision sessions that I for one of my businesses. I make my kids clean some of the house, and I just do little bits and pieces here and there. This morning I took out some trash. Last night I spent about 10 or 15 minutes cleaning the kitchen. On Friday, I pushed clean on the robot vacuum, picked up everything that was in its way, and called it good enough. You just do what you can do, and you don’t stress about everything else.someday I’ll make enough money to hire a house cleaner. Or to takeoff time to do a better job on my house.

@samanthap.879 3 месяца назад

Wait did I hear right, her oldest kid from the first marriage is only 5? So she had 2 kids and then got divorced and remarried and had 2 kids all in 5 years? Is that right?

@AliciaMcIntire 3 месяца назад

It sounds like the second kid might be from another relationship which is why he is adopting the first but not the second. So, that would be 3 relationships and 4 kids in 5 years

@samanthap.879 3 месяца назад

@@AliciaMcIntire that is mind blowing. I got married and had one child in five years and that feels like a lot. How do people have the energy for this? 😂

@brandonedmonds4041 3 месяца назад

Second caller is playing house

@Annie-ex3ge 3 месяца назад

Minute 3 and that man is already a walking red flag. The more I listen to this show, the more I'm very happy to be single.

@Magdalene41 3 месяца назад

Third caller needs to grow up. She’s postponing having a child because she wants to be able to go out to eat?

@ana_1661 3 месяца назад

What's wrong with that? She wants to enjoy the only life she has and doesn't want to be miserable.

@Justblameitonyourcanadian 3 месяца назад

It's expensive to live nowadays, I can see her side. It's not about going out to eat, it's about saving for college, having enough to retire, etc.

@Magdalene41 3 месяца назад

@@ana_1661 enjoying life is one thing, stalling out on life / your spouse until he makes the arbitrary amount of money that you want is not that.

@ana_1661 3 месяца назад

@@Magdalene41 Well as I see it, in a current world we live in it's not stalling anything, but being protective of yourself and your family. She also doesn't want to lower the quality of life she's used to, and it's absolutely fair. I also assume she wants to give the kid everything best that she can, so that they never have any memories similar to hers when "times were tough".

@Magdalene41 3 месяца назад

@@ana_1661 yeah, i just see it very differently. Like John said, they are the exact opposite of struggling. They have their house basically paid for with substantial savings. On 70k they will be more than comfortable if they budget. She just doesnt want to budget.

@JonathanTodd-og7dd 3 месяца назад

What have you got against disc golfers?

@davidspalding1195 3 месяца назад

So much idolatry. The love of money is the root of all evil. Money money money. Money doesn’t make you happy.

@colmcille9669 3 месяца назад

"all kinds of evil" but yes.

@camckenzie 3 месяца назад

Kari 's gonna be a nightmare helicopter mother.

@abby-fq2kt Месяц назад

Johns face when the 1st caller explains what the red pill movement is 😂😂

@galinayasinskaya6038 3 месяца назад

Go Dr. John!!!

@bellabear1080 3 месяца назад

Brilliant !! Hope she agrees...

@marquisstrongchild7535 3 месяца назад

The third callers problem is 2 sided. She needs to work on her anxiety, but her husband also needs to consider ways to make more. They need to meet in the middle.

@charlottebufton2125 2 месяца назад

Feel he missed the boat slightly with the third caller. He doesn't sound to me like she really wants or is prepared for what having a child entails. Also why doesn't Dad stay at home and she goes out to work? Sounds like her temperament would not be a good fit for a SAHM.

@sharonjoan9997 3 месяца назад

This was soooo good!

@Nothanksbyebye 3 месяца назад

Advice for caller 2 was a stretch🙄

@Moocow4576 3 месяца назад

Stop propagating problems, like girl with messy homes. That's not always an overarching demise of the relationship. Your too far counseling, sometimes a pizza just has the wrong toppings. Lord.

@karri8998 2 месяца назад

NO, if you divorce you will be paying child support for some other man's kid. If your marriage in not stable why are you even thinking of anchoring yourself to her even more.

@TheNewMailLady 3 месяца назад

I hate it when men say “we” are pregnant.

@AlorsonDanseX 3 месяца назад

*NO*

@EaseUpMN 2 месяца назад

Haley’s fake forced laugh got on my nerves. Take an honest look at your partner and run.

@lilaworley8935 3 месяца назад

He doesnt want to do the deep cleaning. He doesnt want to pay someone to do it... So he EXPECTS her to do it???? so... He is taking advantage of her FREE LABOR???? Omg. Weaponized incompetence is SO 1950

@mwhe3111 3 месяца назад

Red pill means other things as well. Opening one's eyes to get reality of things, etc.

@BSCTrainerRob 3 месяца назад

She makes 170k and wants to give it up to stay home. I actually love that but it sure flies in the face of the modern left

@dandcs2963 3 месяца назад

When will we ever learn and believe that shacking up before marriage will never work?! Because it is unbiblical. God’s plan is sure and comes with many blessings, even in the middle of hardships.

@eclipse.5295 3 месяца назад

But not everyone is religious 🤷🏼‍♀️

@eclipse.5295 3 месяца назад

@PSi_14.7 people are able to discern what’s right and wrong without having to be told by a book that’s millions of years old written by a man 😉

@dannelle17 3 месяца назад

@@eclipse.5295then why is society crumbling

@eclipse.5295 3 месяца назад

@@dannelle17 Becsuse of the patriarchy and men…

@chelseaolsen8330 3 месяца назад

He did not describe the red pill movement at all.

@vanessamallard1111 3 месяца назад

I wouldn’t have a child w/ a man I out earn by over 50%. I’d rather enjoy my $170K income in peace.

@berekexer56 3 месяца назад

Do you make close to that now and will you still be enjoying that money alone in your 50s 60s 70s all alone and without the ability to earn an income?

@jeremybishop8057 3 месяца назад

Johns hate for this generation of men is coming out strong this episode. 😅

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

He just knows that it's always the man's fault and women have sweet smelling feces!

@MsMak03 3 месяца назад

😂😂 he must thank heavens he’s not a single woman

@people3865 3 месяца назад

I will never get used to "We are pregnant" lmao. No, WE are not. My WIFE was pregnant 3 times 😂😂😂

@nate2759 3 месяца назад

As a woman who is currently pregnant, I don’t get it either. I’m married but, we don’t say that “we’re pregnant”, lol.

@sarastrange5282 3 месяца назад

I was thinking the same thing 😅 We ?? Like no buddy you're not pregnant

@Trolly.Troll. 3 месяца назад

@@sarastrange5282. Why do so many women use this phrase, though?

@sarastrange5282 3 месяца назад

@@Trolly.Troll. You're asking me? You're asking the wrong person I have no freakin clue I think it's ridiculous 😂

@Trolly.Troll. 3 месяца назад

@@sarastrange5282 😂😂😂

@mwhe3111 3 месяца назад

Three minutes into the first call, he's divorced, remarried, already has two kids with 2nd wife, wanted to adopt her oldest (but apparently not her second?), and her oldest is only 5, but now he's not happy in the marriage and he doesn't want to adopt him...do I have that right? THESE PEOPLE NEED TO SLOW THEIR ROLL. Geez frickin' Louise...it's no wonder families are in the shambles they are with this sort of reckless behavior. And as ALWAYS, who suffers? THE KIDS...in this case, FOUR of them.

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 3 месяца назад

I couldn’t agree more. Dude couldn’t be alone for more than a split second. I feel so bad for folks who can’t see right through that BS. People like this don’t care about the repercussions to their kids and it’s so sad.

@snopure 3 месяца назад

Younger kid may have a different dad who is still attentive.

@TG-nh6ni 3 месяца назад

The caller needs therapy and so does the wife...they are rushing into marriage and parenting too quickly. 😢

@samanthap.879 3 месяца назад

Yea this type of lifestyle is insane they are manic!

@JozelleRenia 3 месяца назад

@@snopureI was just going to comment this.

@ArkansasDeerChaser 3 месяца назад

Caller three. Never have kids. You would always resent them For leaving your career. They would deserve better.

@charitymontgomery4285 3 дня назад

I struggle with this call. Like she isn’t hearing John at all I feel like. She needs to surrender her heart and expectations. Because you cannot plan your life to a t. It will crumble somewhere at some point. If she doesn’t surrender her expectations and quit trying to control every single thing she could be at peace with way less.

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

Haylee, it’s a good thing he is only your boyfriend and you aren’t married yet. It doesn’t matter how “sweet” he is, if the man doesn’t know how to use a vacuum let that mango.

@colmcille9669 3 месяца назад

Mmm... mangos... 😋

@delespai5592 3 месяца назад

You have to let the wrong mango for the right one to ap pear

@blueseptember2174 3 месяца назад

😂@@delespai5592

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

@@delespai5592 touché

@AreYouMissingOut 3 месяца назад

😂

@eurekahope5310 3 месяца назад

Third Caller: Practice living on one income starting today. It can be done. You don't want to crush your husband so you can be a SAHM who eats out and has a new car. P.S. With young kids, it is way less stressful to eat at home. ;)

@signalfire15 3 месяца назад

There’s actually a lot of Red Pill men who watch Dr. John’s videos. Although I think they only watch it to hear stories about women who are trainwrecks and insult them in the comments and insult Dr. John for not taking a harder stance with them. Good job on Dr. John for calling out the Red Pill!

@southerncreationskitchen3392 3 месяца назад

I also see narc mom's watching Dr John like the previous video where people dogged on the lady bc her mom promised to help her and then never did

@ghostophelia2245 3 месяца назад

Why choose to make yourself miserable watching someone you always disagree with just to troll the comments? I will never understand some people. Really wish these guys would actually listen to what Dr d says. They might learn something

@signalfire15 3 месяца назад

@@southerncreationskitchen3392 Please don’t use the term “narc” if you’re not a clinical psychologist. Thanks!

@southerncreationskitchen3392 3 месяца назад

@@signalfire15 narc mom is the term I used which has its own use on social media 😌

@sarahalderman3126 3 месяца назад

I mean conservative men are the only good ones out there so, yes I would assume that some do watch Dr. John. Now of course there are some bad apples, even on the right.

@genevieveprochaska6770 3 месяца назад

A thought for the follow up caller: ask your husband if he would like to stay home as the stay-at-home parent. Assess as you move forward. It sounds like his job could be done on a part-time/voluntary basis, like she's the breadwinner, and she's not hyped about being home through the early years. It might be a worthwhile conversation to have. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@theresahaire9660 3 месяца назад

That’s a great thought ! And I don’t blame her for wanting to keep a specific lifestyle that she’s worked so hard for.

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

@@theresahaire9660you won't blame her for anything. As a fellow woman, you will always cosign her bs in hopes of receiving the same

@theresahaire9660 3 месяца назад

@@benmyers9030 actually that’s not true at all! I was simply saying that might be a viable option if he isn’t inclined to make more money -which is fine if they both agree on it and I don’t believe you can “ make someone earn more $ if you want me to have your baby “ either. But her personality seems like she will not be satisfied living a life based on his current income because she will end up resenting him for not being more like herself and if that never ends well and if him being the stay at home parent would work for them it is simply an option. Personally I would’ve been more than happy to stay home with my kids but life didn’t work out that way and I had no choice but to work and raise them on my own because some men don’t know how to keep their hands to themselves but I made it work because sometimes you just do what you have to do.

@AliciaMcIntire 3 месяца назад

She'll never do that though, because she wants to control every second of that child's life. That's why she insists on being the one that stays home. It isn't about the child; it's about feeding her need for control.

@murdahmammiez 3 месяца назад

Hello incel @@benmyers9030

@Becizzle 3 месяца назад

Second caller: Hire the cleaner. Have them come when you're both at work. End of story. Do what you need to do

@amys.6673 3 месяца назад

The third caller, Kari, sounds like she may just want a kid in order to check off a box on her list of things she thinks she needs to do to be successful or to meet her family and friends' expectations.

@Mysterious_Moon 3 месяца назад

She’s a performer. She may not have sat down and made TIME to think about what she really wants in life. Either way, she said he’s paying all the bills. I might slow my roll either on school or work to compensate for the cleaning or pay for it out of pocket myself, unless he’s really demotivated in his career path/unfocused. Or he likes very traditional roles, and demands it. If she wants a provider, she’s going to have to realize the gravity of that choice. You can’t have it all.

@rockpaperscissors. 3 месяца назад

Kari is one of those people who says, "Yeah, yeah," like they get it but they don't. Sounds like she needs therapy.

@Katherine-ug5dl 3 месяца назад

As a mom you can do everything “right” and still have troubled or difficult kids. And a mom who does the “wrong” things (like working/daycare) can still raise easier, more stable kids. I’m not sure Kari will be able to handle that with her current mindset.

@erzabetf9544 3 месяца назад

Red pill is not a reaction to feminism. It’s plain old misogyny, which pre-dates feminism by … all of human history. It’s just the current manifestation of traditional male anger and emotional immaturity and laziness packaged to appeal to modern men whose brains have been saturated by porn and video games. It’s hateful and hurtful, and people need to realize how detrimental it is. I appreciate how JD responded to the caller.

@DeRocco21 3 месяца назад

he doesnt understand it and you don't understand it, its a reaction to how modern women behave like the worst of those men you talk about, women have become the men you purport are so misogynicstic

@DeRocco21 3 месяца назад

do you buy there is a gender war?

@mewgiah8057 3 месяца назад

Literally not true. I think most Red Pill ideology is horrible. But many folks become “red pilled” after having horrible experiences with women. So many men have been cheated on by a wife, and then have to pay for their new lover in alimony. Countless examples of good husbands who are dragged through the courts and unfairly treated when it comes to custody. Females are like men - they are human. Which means women can be capable of absolute cruelty and despicable abuse. You can lie to yourself and paint millions of people with a brush. Or you can actually read into their stories and get an understanding why they ended up this way. It’s true red pill ideology is idiotic and many men end up falling down the path. But there are also many men who end up that way due to injustices and no one caring.

@Jessica-rf7lv 3 месяца назад

I'm older GenX, and young men seem a lot more angry and bitter than they were 25 years ago. I was shocked by comments coming from the 30 year old family friend recently. I think women having more options is part of the problem, they dont need a man for fihancial support.. But social media plays a huge role, telling white men they are "victims". Which is sad, because it's not going to help these men lead productive lives.

@erzabetf9544 3 месяца назад

@@Jessica-rf7lv I’m also older Gen X. And I agree that young men are being duped into believing that women are to blame for their poor financial lives and for the terrible excesses of late-stage capitalism - and in openly expressing their rage and hatred. But I still think that’s just plain old misogyny that’s been around forever. Men have always gone out of their way to diminish women and hold us back and pretend that accomplished women were aberrations. And men have always directed their anger and violence at women who they didn’t respect. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@lexir7504 3 месяца назад

omg second lady should totally get a house cleaner once a month or every other week

@JustActNormal 3 месяца назад

They already have two brand new kids together so I'm not sure why this guy thinks that exiting the situation is a plan

@glitterstarbeau 3 месяца назад

Less child support if he doesn't adopt the boys

@erzabetf9544 3 месяца назад

Red pill losers tell themselves - and each other - that feminism is to blame for every bad day they have and that it justifies any and all behavior that a man chooses to inflict on women and children. He can abandon his children and then pretend that an evil man-hating judge in a man-hating system took his kids away from him. It doesn’t make any sense. But it’s what they do.

@paulinelarson465 3 месяца назад

Unadopted kids can collect child support, welfare, social security payments, etc, from outside sources if needs be. Kid gets to keep his own bio heritage, family and name. Adoptive dad has to pay child support for adopted kid if marriage ends , if he doesn't want to.

@kayecastleman6353 3 месяца назад

Caller two... hire a housecleaner for a few hours every couple of weeks. Your partner pays half. Problem solved.

@elizabeth72684 3 месяца назад

It is insane when people make ultimatums for their partner to make more money. That is so controlling & demeaning

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

Well said. That woman is arrogant entitled and greedy

@elizabeth72684 3 месяца назад

@@benmyers9030 like she can’t make more money lol imagine if a man said “make more money” to his wife 🫠 it works both ways!

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

Yes! She’s a control fuh-reak!

@dontrespond 3 месяца назад

It sounds like she is afraid she won't be able to go back to making 170k after a few years home with a child. She doesn't think her 'career' is stable enough

@mrs.elentz2336 3 месяца назад

I see NOTHING WRONG with making an ultimatum like this to your husband if you're sacrificing your health or working a dangerous job while your certified electrician husband works at a Hardee's because he likes it just to stay afloat. Or if the wife is working 2 FULL TIME jobs with 4 kids while the husband is starting up a business they've been allegedly starting up for years. Both these sceneries are true stories of people I have personally known.

@MoriaMariana 3 месяца назад

I think it's hard to ignore that dropping from 250k/yr as a family to 70k is a big drop and can be disconcerting. Even with everything paid off there will need to be sacrifices, maybe less traveling, less investing, etc. I guess the question is whether having a kid and being a SAHM is worth that sacrifice.

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

No she should try to pile up gold so she can swim in it like scrooge mcduck. Then she can take it with her to the afterlife

@tboss-r9s 3 месяца назад

@@benmyers9030 😂😂😂😂

@Justblameitonyourcanadian 3 месяца назад

Exactly.. doesn’t matter if you think 70k is a lot or a little, it’s a big jump. And a big jump down when expenses go wayyyy up w a kid in the picture

@Driftercat 3 месяца назад

It is a big jump, but you can't just decide you want to stay home and at the same time force your loving partner to change the job that they love (which makes decent money!) for your sense of security. She needs to make peace with the fact that she'll have to make sacrifices, and in any case make family decisions together and not on just according to her whims and anxieties. If protecting her lifestyle and having enough money on the side are her priorities (which are perfectly legit) then they can always decide to remain a two income household, whether she stays at her current job or works part time.

@Justblameitonyourcanadian 3 месяца назад

@@Driftercat I mean that is fair, but I think that’s exactly why she called in. Cus she didn’t know if this was the right move - to ask her husband to make more. Sounds like the husband doesn’t want to, but she said she wanted him to step up & maybe he isn’t even expressing that he wants kids that badly

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

Kari, your reasoning is whack! I think you two should probably hold off on having kids until you are able to see having children from a different perspective. It’s not like buying an expensive item or a business investment.

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

She should hold off till her eggs are gone. She's really smart!

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

@@benmyers9030 if her and him are healthy and have no reproductive issues they can easily have 5+ kids into their 40’s.

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

@@benmyers9030 that’s a bit harsh. If she really wants them, she should have them. It seems like she’s making excuses why not to though, so she’s not ready.

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

@@karr1990yeah i know shes not ready. She likes being rich and kids are not a great money making proposition. Shes a few years away from geriatric pregnancy, closely followed by infertility, so she doesnt have time to get ready. Its now or never. She gets to be rich, or have children, but not both. Theres nothing harsh about affirming the biological reality that women have to have children sooner rather than later. Whats harsh is telling women to prioritize their careers and wait till they feel ready then say oops when they wake up one day and realize they can never have children.

@karr1990 3 месяца назад

⁠⁠@@benmyers9030well assuming they are both healthy and fertile, she can have many children well into her 40’s. My comment wasn’t really about the biology of it, more that she should hold off and maybe mature a bit before having kids.

@joyharmon1110 3 месяца назад

Ha, ha! The husband not doing his share of the housework, is such a masculine ego trip. When I started the discussion about unequal responsibility for caring for the house, my husband tried this using changing the oil in the car, and mowing the lawn as his share. I shot that down and he did dishes and vacuumed for a few weeks.Then he just went back to his old habits. It was a sign of other things. It wasn't about doing dishes..He had given up a little bit of his control. You guessed it.; we got divorced within a year of that time.He just had to find a substitute before he could walk away.

@kitchensink7345 3 месяца назад

My mother didn’t tell me to get a prenup or my father when I got married at 38. My wife was 34 with a little boy and my mom told me I should adopt him, I told her he has a dad who has him 50% of the time so how would that work lol. 😂

@juliej7578 3 месяца назад

1st caller regarding starting a family, make sure health insurance is provided or available through husband's employer with good OB coverage 😊 If money is truly an issue maybe he could be a stay at home dad. You could continue with your career. Take some time off after having the baby. There are options

@tenaya20 3 месяца назад

Yikes!! 3rd caller is a nightmare ball buster. Does not respect her husband at all. Thinks she is way smarter than any other parent out there and talks about having a kid without any emotion to it. I seriously doubt she even wants to be a parent but thinks its a good idea cause all of her friends are doing it.

@nathansimpson5721 3 месяца назад

Kari should work full time while her husband is the stay-at-home dad. Asking her husband to make 100k so she can quit her 170k job is laughable. She probably doesn't want to watch her husband stay at home with the kids.

@brooke9847 3 месяца назад

I relate to Haylee's call. I am an engineer and have a 16 month old and I feel like I am drowning trying to maintain everything in life. Feel like there is just not enough time in the day for everything I want to accomplish.

@Gotoworkkk 3 месяца назад

One year old

@brooke9847 3 месяца назад

@@Gotoworkkk I used to be like this too about kid's ages 😂 Trust me, the developmental difference between her now and her at 1 is astronomical.

@ArmOr_of_the_Alpha_and_Omega 3 месяца назад

This too shall pass.

@jewel3676 3 месяца назад

Same and luckily I finished my masters in May but he never answered the question. How do I keep my house clean? Between the kid, the dog, and the bird I can’t seem to stay on top and my husband does help. We have looked into someone coming in but rural area.

@blueseptember2174 3 месяца назад

@@brooke9847 I always switch to years after 1 and a half😅

@Loveless100 3 месяца назад

Kari's a whirlwind. Her call made me anxious and I'm not even married to her haha. I hope she finds what she needs.

@melissaweller8691 2 месяца назад

Red pill guy: I wonder how many red pill guys, like this guy, watched their fathers treat their moms terribly, mom stands up for herself, dad wants to continue to be trash and leaves. Then they blame mom (and all future women) for blowing up their life. Then they treat women the way their dad did to try to get the respect of him/ men like him. What a cycle.

@sdm1568 3 месяца назад

25:25 girl, please - you were NOT middle class. You grew up with horses and acres of land, your mom didnt have to work, and im banking that your daddy was pulling 6 figures a year back in the 80s or 90s when you were growing up. Im sure he's funded your degrees and made sure you were cushioned for a successful life, nothing wrong with that, but dont lie and claim middle class, because that is NOT middle class by a long stretch. Middle class is malcolm in the middle, clipping coupons, both parents working full time, shuffling bill payments, no vacations, and hand me downs.

@BT-mc2yd 3 месяца назад

You’re projecting HARD! That is NOT middle class, period. Middle class is comfortable and probably living super cozy but will ongoing and forever debt. You can chill out now. She WAS middle class. Hush and talk to your parents about why they let you suffer. Yikes

@Jessica-rf7lv 3 месяца назад

The caller is describing upper middle class. You are describing lower middle class. In 2024, It's as much about where you live as how much you make. Low six figures in California ( near the big cities) is definitely middle class.

@blueseptember2174 3 месяца назад

I agree. Horses and such is rich people stuff.

@berekexer56 3 месяца назад

@@Jessica-rf7lvif you delineate to the point of lower and middle class, middle class no meaning.

@mewgiah8057 3 месяца назад

It’s not red pill to not be okay with adopting someone else’s child. Everyone has to make their own decisions they are comfortable with. But saying there isn’t challenges to a man having to raise another man’s kid - is being delusional & naive. Edit: I normally agree with Delony. But I think his take on this is wrong. And while I think red pill ideology is misguided - I also think Delony is ignoring the fact that many men who end up in movement do so because they were abused and mistreated by women. It’s a myth that all red pillers exist just to hate women. Many of them were normal men who got spit out by the system and got zero empathy from anyone.

@loveleyeyes1654 3 месяца назад

Kari seems like the kind of person who would like a less orthodox situation. Maybe her husband is a stay at home dad and works part time or vaulenteers for the environment or Maybe they have a nanny 2 days a week and she works less hours. It feels like the reality of a newborn and a new lifestyle may not be her cup of tea and that's okay.

@Ryan_DeWitt 3 месяца назад

Sure, if you want to be responsible for child support should anything go wrong.

@kss9131 3 месяца назад

Not a lot of "we" talk with last caller. Lot of "me", "I", and "his". Surprised he didn't point that out. Sure there was a good reason, Dr J.D is the man

@ncdougherty 3 месяца назад

To the middle caller - save money by not going out to eat as much and pay a housekeeper to come every other week. It is the best money I have ever spent. Tell your partner that if he is so interested in caring about how the cleaning is done he can do it himself. I am continuously editing my comment because the more she talks about her partner the more of a lame-a$$ he sounds like....he can play video games and she has to clean the house? Bro.

@The-Oneness11 3 месяца назад

My partner being clean is a non-negotiable for me.

@mrs.annalie.kotajarvi 3 месяца назад

Sounds like Kari does NOT actually want to be a stay at home mom. As a stay at home mom who does it because I know it is best for my baby, don’t do it if you’re going to resent everyone (including your baby) for doing so. How about you keep working and have your husband stay at home. Then you dont have to sacrifice your precious income and you don’t have to resent and nag everyone to death because you did something you actually didn’t want to do and didn’t think the sacrifice was worth the reward.

@rkeppel4243 3 месяца назад

First caller, Your baby is only 3 months old! Your wife is likely still having emotions from post partum! In 6 more months your relationship will truly change IF that is what you want! Please think; your wife has been post partum or pregnant in 24 months of your time together. Love and comfort your wife in the meantime and enjoy those little ones! You are blessed.

@francestaylor9156 3 месяца назад

25:50 - absolutely very few, if any ppl, have it “figured out.”

@2intriguing1 3 месяца назад

5:57 so men be blaming their hurt from absent INFIDEL fathers on the women in their lives. preposterous. 23:59 john is good. Sheesh. She's asked about how to keep her house clean. John was able to get to the root. 23:59 ma'am don't get married to him, he wants a housemaid and you to pay 50/50. Leave now babe.

@Ying-vk3dq 3 месяца назад

The third callers such a nut job

@catH727 3 месяца назад

John’s descriptions of “I don’t love you or your sister” echos in my head, and into my marriage to my kids father. I married my dad!

@erikaberrio8927 3 месяца назад

Hi. I did my Masters, married with a small child and a full time job …with a disability. Chores got done somehow. lol

@brendondowdy5651 3 месяца назад

Wait the guy works, makes good money, it's his house, he pays all the bills but he's lazy and needs to clean for her?

@lindarockower6028 3 месяца назад

No he needs to clean up after HIMSELF. Does he use the toilet? Does he create trash that needs to go out, does he use dishes? They need a housekeeper if neither want to do it.

@amandakaake4275 3 месяца назад

Haylee please listen to Dr. John. Later if you have kids the stress/work will compile even more. Please hear what he’s saying and avoid a lifetime of hurt.

@olivialopez9323 3 месяца назад

3rd caller is exactly why a woman shouldn’t choose a man that makes less money

@joanlovelace7338 3 месяца назад

Man this video was fantastic.. I love watching how Dr John interacts with people,he"s good. And what a thoughtful husband and father, no one can take that away. He's "in it" and both he and his wife are really doing the work . He's a great counselor ‼️👍

@damianwildfong7278 3 месяца назад

i have a disability and I have been chronically disorganized with ADD and Cerebral Palsy i find it odd that when people have problems cleaning their home because they are rightfully exhausted they also have an immense amount of shame and embarrassment with asking for help OR HIRING someone people do that every single day NBD hire a cleaning service ...... it's what I learned to do put aside the guilt and shame and hire someone.....I too lived with an ex that criticized my cleaning style but also would NEVER hire a maid and shamed me about it and didn't make room for my disability we divorced and I moved into a little house on a river and HIRED A FREAKIN MAID I remember the first time she came over and I was watching her vacuum and I was like I cannot believe the number of hours I spent arguing with a man over vacuuming LOL

@nikkita1688 3 месяца назад

I can't listen to the money call unbiased. We clawed our way through a sudden child and marriage on $40k, not even spending on wifi to make sure we would have everything we actually NEEDED. Kari lives in a bubble.

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

She is greedy and shallow

@sidneybristow815 3 месяца назад

Some people weren’t meant to be cleaners. Everyone has their strengths. Thank God for that. Don’t try to be everything. Chasing perfection, will burn you out. Hire a local person who likes to do that. Pay them something. Barter with them. Don’t bash yourself for not being all of it.

@SnifferSock Месяц назад

Nah, any physically able person can clean the house. If he has time to frolf and play games, he has time to freaking vacuum.

@ConnieSørensen 3 месяца назад

The third caller shall not have children at all, they will have do mountains, to please her.

@JennHawk 3 месяца назад

He pays all the bills...so then you have money to hire a housekeeper! Sounds right to me. If he asks why, you tell him you're tired of cleaning up after him on your days off. Plain and simple.

@Becizzle 3 месяца назад

Last caller needs to have her husband be the stay at home parent. Then she can make all the money she wants.

@eurekahope5310 3 месяца назад

I tend to favor the woman home with babies because it is biological (breastfeeding, nurturing, physical softness, etc.) and because women innately desire a man who can take care of her. But in her circumstance, she needs to realize staying home is a sacrifice. If she wants to eat out and bulk up her 401K at the expense of her husband, she doesn't want to be home enough. If it is about a consistent caretaker while maintaining a lifestyle most of us easily live without, she should keep working and allow him to stay home. My husband and I paid off all our debt (except home) and lived only on his income for one year before having kids and staying home. I would rather have old cars, lots of laundry, housework, and limited eating out and be home than force my husband to do a job he hates so I can be a princess. Choose, but not at the expense of her husband's well being.

@Trackpad12 3 месяца назад

lol 3rd caller wants kids and “go out to eat”. Hahahhahahahha those two things are not compatible.

@redhood5264 3 месяца назад

The irony is the last lady confirms the ideas presented by red pill that the 1st guy is attached to. The issue is as a society we do value cash over everything and a lot of materialistic things take importance over peace, truth, love, and compassion.

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

He should leave now and file for alimony! Drizzle drizzle for the w!

@redhood5264 3 месяца назад

@benmyers9030 no, my friend. He should not. They need to figure things out, and come together to an understanding.

@lisak7380 3 месяца назад

For the last caller: Make an extra 30 grand part time from home.

@身赤-w3w 3 месяца назад

Lmfao, that's not how it works

@lisak7380 3 месяца назад

@@身赤-w3w If she can make 170 grand doing sales full time, I'm sure she can earn 30 grand working part time.

@J-B-P 3 месяца назад

The third caller is the most selfish person I’ve ever heard… that husband should RUN

@hansonallie 3 месяца назад

She sounds like a LOT of work!😅

@MrCbarney77 4 дня назад

You don’t just find a 100k job. Kari needs to get her priorities straight. Shes the bread winner she doesn’t just get to stop working

@halothreekiller 3 месяца назад

Praying for the last callers husband 🙏

@NYerInTN 3 месяца назад

It sounds like this woman’s MO is to get pregnant ASAP - 2 kids from 2 different guys, meets this guy and soon into the relationship he said they “found themselves pregnant”. Sure.

@davidspalding1195 3 месяца назад

Woah hey John stop with the slander of disc golf. Disc golf is great!

@FortressOfTheWolfMoon 8 дней назад

Im so lucky my mom and dad gave us a peaceful loving home. My love didn’t have that at all in fact his story is horrific but we are determined to give that good love to our baby. It’s not easy but we are determined.

@alb.88 3 месяца назад

Third call: just leave him. Dr.john called it out immediately, she doesn't respect him due to his income. I've met women like this in the dating phase where they were more ambitious than me in school and would end up out earning me by the same margin the third caller is. Their ego matches their income and it was projected onto me. It's super toxic and he deserves someone that will love him for who he is, just like she deserves someone that will give her the lifestyle she wants. I'd say more but it just wouldn't be respectful to say it in the comments

@benmyers9030 3 месяца назад

Lol. She does not deserve that. Why does a greedy woman deserve to be taken care of? She deserves to pay her own way and have all the cats she can afford

@alb.88 3 месяца назад

@@benmyers9030 Yeah, I was trying to be a little kinder than just saying that outright lol. I don't think people deserve bad things to occur, I just think people deserve the outcome of the choices they consciously make

@lindarockower6028 3 месяца назад

She didn't sound like the mom kind of woman at all. Kids are not "investments" and neither are husbands. She may bring financial stability to the family, but what else is she good for?