SNL, Late Night Shows Probed By Feds Because No. 45 Couldn't Take A Joke 

..good one. Blocks, hurts like hell, may it eventually pass. Has anyone tried highly focused ultrasonic sound beams? I hear they work well.

You deserve gold for that.

America's actively gay kidney stones, he is

Can't pass him, either

@@bleankdallas2924 Can kidney stones be gay? Do they have sexes/genders?

Yes congratulations to Steven and his crew!!!!

Absolutely! Normally I’d be a little peeved at a host referencing their show’s recent award multiple times but… I’m a fan of Colbert and my opinion is that he and his crew deserve the recognition for all their hard work. I’m happy to see that work paying off.

FACTS

it reminds me of a famous quote from the remarkable Forest Gump "Stupid is as stupid does, sir."

So... you don't like his comedy. Why are you hear, then?

@@MaryAnnNytowl You're tilting at windmills Mary, I like Stephen's comedy just fine. :)

Agree .Trevor Noah was Good was well

I think Lex Loser ranks second out of the names.

I think "Old Wack Donald" is comedic genius. 🤪🤣🤣🤣

Has there ever been a US president with a larger collection of scathing nicknames? I started making a list of ways people referred to Dear Loser a few years ago but got overwhelmed then, and its only grown since.

Old wack Donald had a blog farm Ei Ei IOU U With a Quack... Something something person camera TV .

Tangerine Palpatine and Clementine Caligula are my favorites, but these two are also gold!

I don't know about that...

World’s first load-bearing tan. Or maybe he just bathes in Kool-aid. Not sure.

I think the spray on stuff is to keep us from seeing the organs underneath.

@@AC3handle funny, but disturbing...

It's not working anymore! Lol

Breaded crime ring is my favorite in a long time.

The strange thing is that Kraken is also the name of Seattle's new NHL team that will begin playing in the 2021-2022 season. A bit unrelated, but kraken is all over the place now. 😁

We have ranked voting in my state. Really don’t like it. It’s confusing for a lot of people and IMHO a complete waste of time.

Approval based voting would be better. It is much simpler has the same benefits, and is almost impossible for people to get wrong. (approval based is the same as normal voting except allowing people to vote for more than one candidate, who ever most people approve of wins).

I look forward to someday being able to use ranked choice voting. It seems logical to me.

@@Carewolf Approval-based is great for choosing lunch, but not for this! You need to decide where to draw the line, which is a nightmare. "I don't like X, but if I don't at least approve him, it increases the chance that Y is going to win, and I hate Y!" With ranked voting, I can just put X and Y at the bottom of the ballot _in that order,_ and know I've done everything I can.

@@angiebear8727 How do people find it confusing? We call it preferential voting here, becasue that's what it is - the most preferred candidate gets in. In first past the post you can easily have the result where say 70% of the population support greenhouse gas reduction (or mor liberal gun ownership, or whatever), yet the rabid anti-your thing candidate wins with 30% support. That's why political parties love FPTP.. they don't need you to vote for them, they just need to either stop you voting, or encourage so many candidates that the votes are diluted. In FPTP a vote for a minor candidate is a wasted voted. In Preferential it is much less likely.

Happy, happy, happy!

it was so wholesome

She should be a permanent part of the Late Show imo...

Indeed

Co-starring Ivanka it's rumored.

Did you hear? Putin sent Trump some Russian Hummus. Made from Russian Chick pea.

That was golden. And so was his "shower".

Yeah it is pretty lame that he playing it off like a joke that is too hard for us to understand. We did it for our primaries in Nevada. Worked great. Colbert should be cheering it on as it is the best step to get rid of 'first past the post' elections. The pizza topping example is actually a great way of explaining it so people can understand.

Short version for people who are confused: Put your *actual* preference at #1, regardless of their likelihood to win, and the worst option at the bottom. If there's two *most likely* to win guys on there, just make sure your preference out of those is higher than the other.

Sounds weird

@@sassysarina9718 it's unfamiliar maybe, but if you look into it there are genuine advantages. In Australia you can still tick one box and your preferences are allocated according to your first choice's (published) preference arrangements. Those preference deals are horse-traded and determine many parliamentary alliances.

Exactly. Plus you have more chance to get a candidate that you support (even if your absolute favorite one doesn't win).

Even mentally ill people can laugh at themselves, if they are mature. Donald Trump is stuck on "King Baby" mode: He acts like a toddler who never learned to share.

Well, it depends... Hahahaha hahahahaha Mwahhaahaaa.... ha ha ha. pfffrrrrt Bwaaaahaahahahahahahaha! (I'm fine)

It’s easy, smoke the right weed and you’ll laugh at yourself all day! 🙂

But don't you know, he's a "stable genius". He correctly identified a camel and said "person, woman, man, camera, tv" back to the doctor. That totally makes him mentally healthy. /sarcasm

Then there would be no politicians.

Thered be no politicians on either side.

It's the #1 pre requisite. Modest introverts don't want the attention and don't need the power. Catch 22 really

Trump level narcissism. The job requires some level of self confidence, but not to delusional levels.

You're kidding. It's practically a prerequisite.

The only way Trump will ever be a *stable genius* is if he gets an advanced degree in Horse Husbandry.

~yes....remembr, he is a stable genius w the best brain...he has the best words... (~ths is wht he claims, in case u missed it..!)

"gotta show strength..." "Can't let them dominate you..." 🤣

@@shamikeatley4760" China has total respect for Donald Trump and Donald Trump's very very large... uh brain. "

Common right-wing trope: all enemies are omnipotent weaklings, heartless bleeding-hearts and calloused snowflakes, etc. It's a cult of strong, helpless victims.

Ahaha, so now spending time on your knees anymore? 😜

In five years, this is the first I'm hearing of this. How'd you Brits keep it secret from the US ??? 🤣

You just made my day! Any chance that a "donald" is a shart???

@@janiceisaacs6755 How is your Germanic language

Not true I'm a brit never heard of that before ffs

@@neilcvernon6957 It is. One example right on You Tube can be found by searching "Tiny Trump Taskmaster" and from the results watch the most top result. Also, from Quora: In British slang, however, “to trump” (intransitive verb) also means to expel gas through the anus - e.g. Trumped from eating too much baked beans - often in a highly audible way (as in with trailing sound).

I'd love to know how someone like Johnny Carson or David Letterman would do their monologue about Trump on they're late night shows

He's tied with Jimmy Kimmel in my opinion.

Amen

Steven is in a mischief making class by himself. A cut above the other's.

Nobody else got in trouble with FCC for calling the presidents mouth "Putin's cock holster" on national tv

I suddenly have great love and respect for Scotland!

Yeah, the biggest joke that's not funny .

@@n4murr So you used 1984 as an instruction manual Bannon style, interesting.

Finland and the world laughed when he wanted the forest raked cause that's how Finland prevent forest fire. Dumb ass family.

He is. Just not a funny one.

As chargers fan I can now say there is at least one raiders player that I can't hate haha

Naturally Carl is gay. He's gorgeous! All of the gorgeous men are gay! Congrats to Carl for showing bravery and bringing attention to the Trevor Project!

Does him being gay affect the amount of pain when he tackle you on the field? Nope, I didn’t think so. Gay or not, the score is the score!

Bless you for supporting your daughter.

@@resileaf9501 n

Sounds more like a English ska band from the eighties...

Guillermo is underrated as a bass player.

I remember their hit song "Many Joan Rivers to Cross".

Plus it's compulsory, highly credible, simple, convenient, non-controversial, openly encouraged and supported, lacks gerrymanderiing, filibustering, and all similar cons in America's pseudo-democracy. Results normally known within hours of polls closing unless particularly close. America really should try real democracy for a change..

Yeah we get results that night usually, so not sure what takes the US officials so long to count

But since our voting system in written into the US Constitution it would be nearly impossible to change.

@@pschroeter1 Yeah you can't make voting compulsary in the USA without a constitutional change. Everything else including the maner of elections is up to the individual states. Voting isn't actaully compulsary in Australia either. Getting your name marked off the election roll and being given a ballot and the opportunity to fill it out as you wish is. So the vast majority of people do vote formally (a correct ballot). Those that don't want to vote can just not fill the ballot out, or fill it in incorectly (called an informal vote).

@@Gaspode_ You're wrong in claiming voting is not compulsory in Australia. See www.aec.gov.au/faqs/ What is not compulsory is HOW you vote (including informal).

He is a 900 month old arrested development baby-man.

That's _why_ they love him. He embodies the entitlement they aspire to.

more testament to a 70 point IQ

My three year old granddaughter has a better attitude than him.

Its coz he's white, male, rich and fake conservative. Just like his worshippers

Basically is

Hell yes thanks for pointing that out and we actually already have it here in I think in at least one state already.

Yeah, and it's not complicated. It's a very efficient system and better reflects the will of the voters. We need to move away from winner-take-all.

Yep. Recently implemented it in my state as well. It's very simple and avoids that "if I vote for X I'm just throwing away my vote" problem. Nobody's votes are thrown away. This should just be what we do from now on.

@@jose-jacoboyanez5388 we have it in Maine 🙂

If you are a joke, can you take a joke? Trump University needs to sponsor a study. 🤔

@@pamelacass9642 Funny!🤣

😂😂😆😆

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂

​Trump shall indeed become the rightful President of these United States in August. Jesus shall return and dance the Macarena 'til the break of day, whilst pigs grow wings and fly into the sunset. Santa Claus will chase the Tooth Fairy around and around the water cooler, while dogs play Vivaldi concertos on the violin. Every hit song of Ray Stevens will become absolutely true, while all the mighty Velveeta King's farts shall smell like dear old Aunt Teefa's fresh hot ricochet biscuits, straight from the oven. And fish will learn to whistle. *_And now, for something completely different:_* *MAGA* _again some more right now again already_ MAGA in the kitchen MAGA in the hall MAGA in the springtime MAGA in the fall MAGA on the mountaintop MAGA on the beach MAGA tail a wagga Just like a Georgia peach MAGA in the Kremlin MAGA by yourself MAGA with a gremlin or with a tiny elf. MAGA 'til next Tuesday MAGA 'til next June MAGA all around the block Or maybe on the moon MAGA on Uranus or Jupiter or Mars MAGA in a aeroplane and MAGA in your cars. MAGA MAGA MAGA no matter what the cost. because we're all too stupid To accept it that we lost. *_DOWN IN MAGALAND_* _pollution creators and corporate raiders_ _who under-tip waiters and live with the 'gators_ _there's salvation healers and overweight squealers_ _who hire young peelers for their dirty dealers_ _there's fanny pack rangers, adult diaper changers_ _and funeral arrangers who fear any strangers_ _they're covered in cankers and love their big tankers_ _and woship the bankers and tallywhack wankers_ _these red hat collectors are haunted by specters_ _of russian defectors and hannibal lecters_ _there's grandmas in slacksez with access to vaxxez_ _who don't want no blacksez in their anglo saxxez_ _they worship and wallow while kneeling, they swallow_ _they know they are hollow but know they must follow_ _they're lost in the foggo while humping the doggo_ _with hate from their bloggo from here to chicago_ *. . . . .* _and bow to the demon who haunts mar-a-lago_ _Top 40 from the Back 40 (playlist)_ ru-vid.com/group/PLOhxuTxNTwnF5AVaTbLaK2rHPXHAM_ORU .

OMG. Coloring books. I'm still laughing. Great one.

The tentacles of Trump crime are just coming to the surface.

Trump just wanted to cuddle with the fishes.

i do, too. he was funnier and relaxed. the jokes were better cause he could say different stuff!!

Remember how hard it was in the beginning to get used to no audience? We humans can adapt. It's not always pretty, though. On the positive side, this shows progress! Vaccines are the key to get through Covid. Just ask other nations! They've been back to normal for almost a year because their citizens did not see Covid as a political issue.

@The Stammering Dunce interesting - we could come to our own laughter scale. :) 🌷🌱

No. I say this ONLY for Stephen Colbert. He gets his energy from the crowd. You don't get the FULL Cobert w/o the audience. If you need to rate his jokes, just drink water as he's telling them. Whichever ones you do spit-takes, those are the winners.

I did too! I miss his wife- she is so endearing

Or, as Carlin once put it "Colin Powell is _openly_ white; he just _happens to be_ black."

Openly black! 😂 oh that's classic!

I think what made it funny was that the graphics guy put the word "active" in the wrong place, your comparison makes no sense.

There was seriously an article like that? Wow. So dumb

A Republican Evasive Maneuver!

🎯🎯🎯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Jan 6 was a pelosi failure,what about all the destruction in democratic ran cities?I never hear a communist demoract talk about their failures just that trump is orange?Wow so stupid and blind to America's problems.By the way demoracts are Joe's eyes ever open?does he still fall a lot,educative order signing like a dictator?Is kamala still laughing at birder issues?

If mocking were illegal, wouldn't it be beautiful if that was the thing that put dump in prison for life?

@@chadsanislo560 most of the riots were started by right wing provocateurs. Not to mention, there’s a huge difference in burning down a corner store and trying to overthrow the government.

Ah...Nixon seems so innocent by comparison.

LMAO!!!!

#JustMonika

When you invest you're buying a day you don't have to work.

Assets that can make you rich

Bitcoin Stocks Real estate

You're right sir, it's obvious a lot of people remain poor due to ignorance It's better to take risk and make sacrifices than to remain poor.

It's not ignorance but due to some unprofessional expert in the market.

I'm Polish born under the communist rule, and when I was younger the American First Amendment, and by extension democracy, was always explained to me by saying "you can even openly make fun of the President there". So when I heard that The Tangerine Machine tried to have the comedians making fun of him investigated, it gave me an extra chuckle. This guy truly tried to ruin absolutely everything, even my childhood memories.

Yes, but it takes a while when you can't decide between green peppers and olives. Seriously, thanks for the actual explanation. I just couldn't imagine anymore talk about olives or peppers on a pizza, for crying out loud.

That's way different than what Colbert said.

#JustMonika

To be clear, I was referring specifically to the explanation given by The New York Times article Colbert quotes, starting from around 2:00

@@castonyoung7514 I get the feeling he somehow doesn't understand how it works? Which is really strange, but he was super dismissive of the system, so maybe true?

Hypocritical since u were the party that cheated this past election & undermined our democracy. Yet u stand for we the people. And you get easily offended by everything. Against freedom of speech

@@victorarredondo304 Yeah that's a load of bull. All voter fraud found was by Republicans, for Trump, and it was a miniscule amount. The election was not stolen. Trump lost and could not take it. He is a sore loser and so are you.

@@victorarredondo304 You're so confident despite being so wrong.

@Neil Deep says someone from the party that rioted all last summer for a dude who overdosed?

@@paulklp8262 That’s a common theme with ignorant people. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Vaccines WORK!

The right say the FBI was responsible for the insurrection on January 6, 2021. Biden didn't come into office until January 20th. The FBI was under Bill Barr who was under Trump, so Trump committed the insurrection.

That's not the only thing they're hypocritical about: They're all for state's rights until those states rights refuse service to those not wearing a mask. They're against riots and property damage unless they're the ones committing it. They're all in support for cops unless those cops are preventing them from overthrowing the Capitol Building. And so on, so forth.

It's really backwards too. They're going after *private* companies or individuals for supposedly censoring, ridiculing or "cancelling" them. All without the self-awareness necessary to realize that the first amendment is there to prevent the exact thing they're doing. Again, for clarification, the first amendment only *protects you from government censorship*

@@Chas-OTE Well, that last 4 years needs complete *censorship of the government* . How to we get that going??

I wonder why that could be? 🤔😅😏

Biden administration is great for China

Can you imagine a gathering of state bar officials across the US voting to offer the entire former administration an award for increasing the incomes of their members by being such crooks? (Can you imagine taking the time to read this diatribe?)

@@dalebanks1353 - Huh? What the heck does that mean?

@@shirleyrombough8173 Shirley with one's intelligence you should know excactly what I mean lol

Not really cause he doesn’t pay them.

Yeah. I never thought I would see the American fascist party come to fruition. AKA the Republican party

@Laura- You're correct and the right doesn't realize they're being used and when they finally realize it, we'll all be under authoritarian rule. Including them. Shameful.

If the democrats own the WH congress and House of Representatives, and Mitch is now the minority leader, how come he gets to veto a damn thing?

It's the only reason I keep checking the morning news headlines.

Stop using his name.

Ikr? That moment of him just being was just soooo relatable.

Wtf are you talking about

I care about Nassib's announcement exactly 0%. It has nothing to do with football and if he weren't a football player nobody would care. I do care about stopping all forms of discrimination and I'm in favor of everyone living however they want, but get over yourselves. Like my opinion, nobody cares.

@@zeymort3926 "Nobody cares" is the IDEAL scenario, but a lot of people actually DO care and pretending they don't is just being disingenuous.

@@zeymort3926 but he is a football player.

#JustMonika

So embarrassed watching the PSU football page share his news and seeing all the local yokels complaining. I'm a local who left, came back to attend PSU, then left again. When I moved home again in 14 I thought I was moving home to my people, then 16 happened and I realized I was much better out in the real world interacting with more than the angry lady at the tobacco store and boys at the jobsite. My neighbors are disgusting.

@@dustinpollard6237 It’s hard for me to see the town in the same way you do because I didn’t grow up there, I only really interacted with other students who for the most part were very progressive and forward thinking people. I can see how it would irritate you to be surrounded by townies that were poisoned by the right wing rhetoric of the last several years.

Democrats 2017 : If our candidate loses then we are not going to accept the elections results.

@@user-tp6sb6lq5f -- Yes, exactly why Democrats stormed the Capitol two weeks before Trump's inauguration, filed more than 50 lawsuits claiming massive voter fraud -- including two with the Supreme Court -- and hired a right-wing company with zero elections experience to conduct an "audit" to check for rice-paper election ballots. . . Oh wait. That's right. Democrats did NONE of that. We complained about the Electoral College. Period.

Liberals for four straight years with 0 evidence- "Our candidate lost because of Russian interference".

@@ValerieJNorse The tribalism now is insane. I’m an independent and didn’t vote for either side but to think that the Democratic Party did not illegally try to get trump out of office in multiple ways is ignorant or delusional. Either through an impeachment with no evidence or Russia meddling in 2017 ( you have to live under a rock to not know that but you decide only to bring up the electoral college? ).Also by DNC funded media platforms literally LYING about trump ( Russia’s bounties on US soldiers). My question to all you people who listen to CNN and MSNBC: these media are platforms literally LIE to you to get the results they want. They tell you think they know aren’t true to make you angry about things that don’t exist. You don’t have to be conservative to condemn liberal media. Why do you listen to them ? I’m a liberal but Democrats are too big of pussys to storm the capital that’s why they never did. They just riot and loot in their backyard and cry if they get arrested.

@@ValerieJNorse Then Democrats won the Midterms and then the Presidency.

Love this comment. Will try to pick up in everyday use.

Doing a dump can be the same as saying doing a "T*" So already a century old.

No, they're not saying. No one other than Trump is that full of crap.

It is our sacred responsibility as citizens of these United States to make this a thing.

Actually, Eric Idle wrote a stage show where someone called shitting “taking a Donald (Trump),” which breaks down into taking a dump. Dump Truck wasn’t even in the White House when it premiered.

With more people coming out soon no one will care here either I hope

Does anyone care anyway?

And that's the way it should be. What happens behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors. Unless it's between politicians & corporate shills.

Pretty well same with Canadian reactions too. Meh, thats nice.

@@katrinamoore3520 based on the homophobic, hateful and ignorant comments I read on Twitter a lot of people care for the wrong reason.

This country is not a joke.

@@markbailey793 yes, it is. Just ask the rest of the world.

I'm glad Joe Biden can take jokes. He even said Let's go Brandon, I agree".

@@KittyKat8946 We have stopped laughing for the most part, and are now alternately crying and screaming at the void.

@@KittyKat8946 Despite what you may think the united states has accomplished many great things -Greatest and largest economy -most powerful military - took part in the vistory of ww2 - created capitalism, witch gave you Apple, Google, and tonnes of innovations and freedoms you don't deserve - and is one of the last remaining places on earth with acual freedoms

Unless he’s insulting someone on Twitter.

tRump is FAKE everything.

Or a sadistical one.

Anyone who can make others laugh, and laugh at him/herself, are among the most intelligent persons on this planet. So, there ya go.

I have read the books by Mary Trump, Michael Cohen, Bob Woodward, half way thru James Comey and tried Bolton's (a little too conservative, military, hawk, policy wonk for me but I may try again.) None of them knew each or had any interactions. Yet they paint a similiar picture. Trump is a narcissistic, thin skinned, crafty & sly but not really smart, only knows his world, into glitz and grandeur (which is why he tanked his casinos in New Jersey.)The first two were just normal casinos but he wanted something with grand pianos and chandeliers in every room. The process of setting up the gambling machines wasn't followed because Drumpf wasn't interested in taking his time to do it right. So the place started tanking and rather than leave go and save the others, he wanted his golden toilets and ended up letting them all fall to the ground. And shorted monies owed to many of the businesses involved in that train wreck. Yeah, what a freaking great businessman. Somebody should have been there to say, " You're fired!!!"

I only started watching him during the pandemic. The content is great by itself, having people interrupt with laughter or applause is obnoxious and unnecessary. Sad to say I find it unwatchable now but I'm sure I'm in the minority.

Me too!

Me too

@@OhSeriously I watched it before, but got very much used to the quarantine format. I don't really enjoy it anymore now...

I've watched for years, but, after the intimacy of the Covid period, the audience is so annoying as to make it unwatchable.

He wasn't acting...

I've seen many better behaved toddlers.

My friend used to call him ‘The Big Cheeto In Chief’ and I thought he was the only one.

Not very hard to imagine, since the GOP has been depending on that for their survival for years now.

Knowing that what you're trying to sell is so rotten, only your delusional followers will vote for you

Imagine being a citizen of a free country and watching your elected officials try to take away your right to vote, and you have more guns than people in your country but there's nothing at all that you will do to protect your freedom. Just imagine that.

Blatantly, even. Let that sink in... Use your vote!! 🌊🌊🌊

@@Marijuanifornia Voter ID laws don't take away a citizen's ability to vote. What are you on about fool

One would have to live as a recluse to avoid ridicule. Lots of sadists.

If there's any certainty in being pres, it's that SNL *will* make fun of you.

I agree. I personally feel all our elections should be ranked voting.

If your guy loses, your second choice gets your vote. If _they_ come in last, they're dropped and everyone who voted for them gets their next choice counted (Their second if they voted for the guys as a first choice, their third choice if both their first and second choices have been eliminated). Basically, even if you preferred 6 other candidates who got eliminated, your vote still counts for your 7th choice; assuming you haven't run out of people you consider worth voting for, of course. Nobody's forcing you to vote for a second, third, or fourth choice if you're ok with it not going towards 'em.

There's a lot of potential problem with ranked voting so some people will want to know how it work to see if they can optimize their vote in some way. But yeah, there's no need to over-explain this to the average voter.

preferential voting is used in many countries, eg Australia. Doesn't seem to be a problem

The algorithm could be done in a second on a computer. It's a simple process but hand tabulating the vote reassignment is nonsensical.