So my book is kind of bad... | Writing Insecurities, Struggles, etc. 

When a book is relationship heavy, sometimes you can fix the "feel" of a novel by doing some tinkering with dynamics between characters. Is there a relationship that feels a little off? Does it need more clarity, less clarity (more secrets lmao), more drama, tragedy, tenderness, toxicity, etc.

This is so relatable! When this happened to me, I also chose the “keep hacking and hope something gives” route too, and though it took a long time, some aspects of the story clicked (not all, but enough to finish it). You’re so right - this is the type of issue where writing advice doesn’t help, you kind of just fight with it like you mentioned (and it’s so not fun)! Hearing you talk about this is relieving because it’s good to know that other people go through this (even though I’m sorry this is happening because I know exactly where you’re at right now)! Hopefully NaNo brings something great to the work!

100% pantser here. If this idea helps anyone other than me - feel free. I write about two-thirds of my first draft or up to the point, I get a bit stuck. Then I create a spread sheet, a list of each scene and notes. I can later swap around scenes. Gives me a summary to review the whole. Hope someone else finds this useful.

I'm unpublished, but Brandon Sanderson says that we find our writing boring when we are driven solely by plot. He says that if we focus on characters and try to make them interesting, the story becomes interesting. It sounds like that might help you.

I totally feel you, and I'm wondering if it's a bit of the curse of 2022. It seems like a lot of writers are struggling this year, connecting with our writing and making progress. I think the thing to do is definitely keep plugging away. Wishing you all the best!

In my experience, this feeling doesn't mean your project isn't good -- it means there's something within it that hasn't quite clicked yet. As long as you stay in the world mentally, I think you will be able to figure out what it is that is missing that will bring it together.

Current Success: I just published my first book! Current Struggle: I'm trying to start my second. I'm finding going back to fiction writing after years of non-fiction a really hard gear shift.

The limbo between not knowing if your story is an inherently flawed lost cause, or if you're just in a rough patch and need to keep "hacking away," is a hard spot to be in. I hope working on it everyday during Nanowrimo will get you to a spot where everything clicks! I'm doing Nano for the first time in years, and one writing "win" has been that I've discovered a love for writing sprints. I've never tried them because they didn't really seem like my thing, but I'm so glad I gave sprints a shot because they've helped me write so much. On discord they have bots that keep track of your word gain and the time and all that, so it's easy - and, the competitive aspect of it is super motivating.

Unrequited love is like the reader's love for a book. We love Jane Eyre and her tale is about what John Fowles called Deep England. You have a strong idea. Everybody can relate. Sybil is overwhelmed by the love she can never have ? We all like weird relationships. This one is with Rowan, isn't it ? (There is also Susanna, Cody, a Dad & stepsister) This made me think of your comment a month ago: *Is that too much to ask ? I just want this book to consume my life.* Love, again. The gulf between the young and old is not so much experience; it is that the old know about time - The Care of Time to quote an Eric Ambler title. An Italian proverb runs : Love takes care of Time, Time takes care of Love. Be patient. Give Sybil Time to emerge. Your deep brain will figure it. In the meantime, walk around Sybil as artists walk around the model in Life Class. Who are you Sybil ? Who were your great grandparents ?

Tnx for the talk, my writing success is going to be similar as yours. I will stop starting into it and just write bad for some time. For those things on which I do not have an answer I use time. Usually time tells me what to do next.

Something that helped me with my insecurities about writing was to read a published novel that people seem to enjoy a lot in general, that I see massive character development and worldbuilding problems in and so on. The idea is to tell myself that I know I could clearly write that story better, so if they can get published and people love it, then my novel could be too even with many flaws in the end.

Thanks for sharing!

I like how you said this doesn’t feel like irrational insecurity. Maybe it’s something more like instinct? I also couldn’t help to notice the similarities between your feelings about your book and the book’s storyline. Your relationship to the book mirrors your character’s relationship to their friend. Something unrequited. Left to be desired or in French they say “sans plus” or without more (I’m a new subscriber so I’m not sure if you speak French!). You have a wish for something to be there that isn’t. How do we accept that? Can we? What does it feel like to stand before the divide between what is and what we want to be? Is there a stormy anguish? Is it just a quiet flatlining of feeling? Do we try to jump? Do we turn around?

I write scripts first to create a fist. Then I transition to a novel extending each idea as a finger so details, scenes, issues discovered are explored extending the virtual fist into a multi-tendrilled story line with a pulse.

Louis L'Amour would probably say, move on to the next book and learn from your mistakes. Keep writing though...

Attend le temps, change tous …..

Shaelin, my first thought is perhaps you are working yourself too hard. Doing everything you do on RU-vid, your own prolific writing, another novel out on submission, reading so many books and providing viewers with your suggestions - and I believe you've mentioned a job, too. That's a lot. This may sound silly, but do you get enough rest, eat at regular intervals, take vitamins? Maybe you need some you-time and if that means some downtime, then that's okay.

NOTIF SQUAD But also the fact that u talk about insecurity so openly is so refreshing in a community where things like this are just swept under a rug of positivity. Sometimes all we need is validation that the feelings of insecurity do exist and that sometimes nothing we do can make it sting any less lmao

Hey, as a fellow pantser, my advice would be to write the extra relationship. I’ve had so many points in my current draft where I thought this idea/element/relationship is interesting but irrelevant… only for me to find ways later on to make it integral to the plot. And those are some of the most facinating points of my story because you don’t expect these connections and they are so satisfying! (Then again, they don’t always turn out that way)

"What if I'm not insecure irrationally? What if it's actually bad?" Something that always helps me at this point is to remember that YOU have intrinsic value, as a human being. And YOU are not your work. It really FEELS like it when you put so much of yourself into it, but that's not that. You're not obligated to put out "good" work. It doesn't make you a morally less-good human being. Something something capitalism... That being said, I totally feel the "What if I feel bad about my work because it's actually bad?" AND I feel like my writing skill has always been far behind my ability to recognize quality, so I'll never actually know if my writing is good or not until years later when I look back and see if it holds up. And that's a rough place to be, because that means I am so bad at self-editing. I cannot look at my work objectively... So, I hope you'll figure your way around these mental blocks cuz I'm sure figuring out these bits still myself!

As a writer, overthinking about one's book can be both a blessing and a curse. I have a book that started out as a short story. 5k to 15k max, I thought. Then I changed the outline halfway and thought lets make the climax the midpoint. Then I wrote a new climax, only to make it another midpoint event and I kept doing it to the next 2 climaxes. Right now my short story has turned into a novel of 75k and its still not finished. I have lost a lot of faith during the process. I will still finish writing it because I know if I postpone it, I may never finish it. I don't think I'll ever come back to the story. I have been writing it for 5 months so far and each time I think about it, it gets worse. The main character is just being an emotional punch bag. the other main character is now dead because that's one of the many joys of being a Pantzer. To make matters worse, after finishing this story, I have yet to edit my debut novel of 100k that I wrote early this year, sort of my new year resolution. I was hoping to have at least one novel out. Now I have 2 in the works but my confidence is so low, I don't think I'll write another book next year. I may not even write a novella or short story since these 2 books have broken me in a similar manner. I don't trust myself enough. Hopefully the future is brighter than this.

First, thank you so much for your transparency. You are speaking my own thoughts about the novel I'm working on. I'm relieved to know I'm not alone, yet I'm also sad that I'm not. This is one of the hardest feelings to work through in reference to a story. The constant conflict of 'Should I give up or do I keep pushing?' has honestly been keeping me up at night. I think I've gone through 20 new ideas in 2 days, and yet NONE of them have been the answer to have this story firing on all cylinders. Then there's the writing advice that continually tells you to push through, but at what point do you throw up your hands and set it aside? Then there's the insecurity of wondering if you're mature enough in your craft to tell the story you're trying to. Some days- some moments- the answer is a resounding 'yes', but then you look at the manuscript you're currently working on, and feel it laughing at your confidence. It's a constant cycle of write-question-sulk-stop-repeat, and the emotional gamut is EXHAUSTING! SMH So whatever you decide to do, remember you have a sister right there with you. Well wishes, Shaelin!💜💜💜

my heart just sank on the video title alone......Hope you're okay shaelin!

Advice I've come across multiple times when it comes to the reader not feeling anything for the characters, is the characters probability need more personal struggles, conflicts, and/or suffering. Basically, you may need to treat your character more horribly in some way...emotionally, physically, mentally, whathaveyou.

Seriously, these types of videos make me feel sooooo happy. So relatable. I am right there with you in my current short.

My sister's dog died. ( This relates to your book, trust me.) It was a black and white dog. And a few months later, she happened across a black and white dog at the shelter. She brought the dog home. . .and the new dog was miserable. She wouldn't come when called. She hardly ate. She was not wanting to interact with my sister. Finally, my sister sat down to talk to the dog, and she had an epiphany. "You are not (first dog 's name.). I'm sorry. You just look like her so much, and I miss her so much. But you're not her. You're you. And I need to quit trying to make you be her, and let you be you." Go back, and let Salt Birds be Salt Birds, and quit trying to make it be Honey Vinegar.

I’ve had this feeling so many times! Only recently, after working on my novel for years, have I discovered the main character’s core - and felt a connection. Because it feels true. It’s hard not to beat your creative consciousness into submission. The only thing that helped me was time. Some time apart from the book, some time writing crap, some time tearing my hair out, some time rereading what I had written and trying to find the things that I loved. This is what it is to be a writer. Much luck to you! This video helped me because it made me feel less alone.

It’s my dream to be a writer and I’ll keep trying however my writing now seems to be about me testing myself and setting myself a goal to finish something on top of developing my own skills. I wrote a novel and a play. They’re not amazing but I still felt pride at the idea that I actually finished something. Something that many people say they want to do but don’t. I passed that threshold from “still writing that novel” to “I’ve actually finished that novel/play.” And if I never ever get published or achieve that dream, I at least have examples I can bring up where I set myself a goal and accomplished it during job interviews.

One of the hardest things to do as a writer is when you read a manuscript that you really like, and has some good writing in it, but you have to say "this isn't working and I'm going to put it aside to work on other stuff." We can get attached to ideas that we're not ready to write, and I think this is what Stephen King means when he says to "Kill your darlings."

Is the character maybe in the wrong world or the wrong genre? A unique or unusual world might provide a thread of consistency that fills in gaps between characters or mini-plots. For example, War & Peace is like 5 separate stories that don't meet for many pages but the war & world events tie the different stories together (and bring the characters together). Dune has such a striking world that it functions like a character in its own right (the title character, in fact!) so different scenes feel connected even though the people may not be.

My go-to advice when stuck: have a dialogue with it. Whether it's a character, a scene, a sequence, give it the mental space of "personhood," and have a conversation with it. I write on the page, you can type, you can do neither, but ask it what is going on, what it wants, what it sees, and keep the space open to the characters around it. It's not the same thing as outlining, the idea is to figure out what makes sense based on what it is. I don't always get the answer to what I started looking for, but I DO get forward momentum, and usually a lot more connections are laid out. Hearing you repeat that you were trying to replicate honey vinegar, I don't know, maybe don't do that? You're the vessel for the story, so let it be itself, not what fits the process that worked before Salt birds is a great title

A quote that recently changed my perspective on my writing process is, “First you hate something, then you investigate why you hate something. That is exciting - and for creative people, to be excited is the only way.” -Miuccia Prada. Also, please do not let insecurities, mental illness, trauma, etc. Consume your writing process! I’ve written through the trenches of darkness where I believed no one understood me. However, the art that came out of it was amazing, but that does not mean that we as artists are incapable of writing and connecting with our characters when we are happy. Another thing that I pick up from your video is that you are procrastinating. Your fear is telling you that you aren’t good enough and that your writing sucks, but YOU KNOW that it isn’t! So, just write. Write for yourself not for a audience. Lastly, any ART that can’t be outlined is usually missing something. You will NOT progress if you don’t know the beginning, middle, and end. You may have done it without a plan or a structure before, but that work isn’t your work you’re creating NOW. I feel for you because I’ve gone through this. Don’t procrastinate just write!! It sounds like you’re still caught up with your other books. Let them go and FEEL for the work that is to come. :)

I think the element you are missing is « synergy » between plot threads, which when combined, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts

I really appreciate your honesty about your process and it's been very helpful to me in my own writing. Understanding when something isn't working as opposed to insecurity is such an important piece of self awareness.

I remember you saying that you get sad for unlikable characters, specifically. Like, the idea that they're pushing people away or making themselves sad but they can't help it because that's their nature. Maybe this character is too likeable for you to feel for them?

Whole mood My person advice for what saved me was I took a year to write the story with the scenes all out of order, just wrote what I wanted, if I wanted to rewrite an arc I’d already written with new plot I did that I’m just now starting to rewrite everything and put it in order, and it’s became intuitive figuring out what needs to change in this draft to place the scenes in order and tweak/completely change plot as needed

I dunno. IMHO 80 pages is nothing to have to throw out. Maybe your book hasn't started yet. Maybe you just have to keep writing until it starts for you. Maybe there are parts that are usable but you won't know until you get further into it. I know you are going to do fine because it's obvious you are very, very bright. Me, I'm just doing 3 pages a day for Nano. 6.67 pages a day when I forgot all about Nano is too much when I haven't spent all of October preparing. So I'm just going to write until the end of Nov and take the recommended week off and then see what I have. Also I have bunch of books on the craft I have to read so I can do less intuitive writing and more calculated writing. So I won't do Nano according to the "rules," but it will still be a productive month. Nano is way too much for new writers and a great way to fail according to it's rules. Who needs failure? That's somebody else's rules, not my rules. It ought to be about set your own reasonable goal, and if you get it done, then you get the t-shirt.

I recently wrote all the way to the very end-to what would be very nearly the last line-before I started to suspect that maybe something about this story just wasn’t working, fundamentally. It was shocking, honestly, because the entire time I’d been feeling like I knew exactly what the heart of this story was, and that I’d been building to it in a reliable way, scene by scene. Long story short, it turned out that by my last writing session, I’d actually lost my sense for that heart of the story, and wrote a scene that was essentially how the story would resolve if I’d never had the epiphany (an observation made/a “lesson learned” about something in my life) that had originated my desire to write this story. I had a long conversation with a dear friend, during which I pretty much had to have that same epiphany all over again, and then I went back to the draft and wrote the ending that the rest of the story had actually been building to, even if I’d managed to lose my way right at the last minute.

This video came just in time. I didn’t realize that was my issue I recently switched to writing fantasy since I enjoy watching and reading fantasy. And I really want to challenge myself. This video made me realize the issue is I don’t feel my characters coming to life. This book is such a struggle to write. Also outlines are the death of my creativity. I am a total discovery writer. I won’t give up.

"how much do you put into something in the hopes that it will click eventually?" That kinda sounds like Rowan's plight too actually with the situation with their best friend. Your struggles seem to parallel your character's conceptually and ik that probably sucks to be in it, but its kinda cool too.

"Rubber duck debugging" is underrated. I hope you'll figure something out after laying out your entire writing process so thoroughly!

How often does it happen that when you write something and think it's bad, and give it to someone else to read, they think it's good? How much the other way?

I just wrote my first real short story, and could not have done it without your videos. I learned so much about the way I write and I'm so excited to do it again.

Hi Shaelin! I've never commented on your videos before, but you were the first authortuber that I ever watched when I stumbled on this whole world of people talking about writing. And still, your content is some of the only I've found that really dives into the process of writing in the way I wish everyone would. I love the way you explore those feelings that we all have towards our projects that are the reason we actually care about writing in the first place. But you are so spot on, and I think everyone is resonating with your thoughts. I especially could be feeling that way because I just started a new project after being enthralled with the one I put away. I don't have those same positive emotions towards this new project, and it's a bit devastating to not feel that same magic. I'm hoping as I go along that I'll tap into my characters and fix the issues that are keeping the story distant for me. I hope you continue to work out the problems in your story and fall in love with it. Best of luck ❤

Sorry I'm out of the loop...how do I read honey vinegar, is it published?

I'm writing an adventure-focused dungeon crawler crossover starring myself. I've been discovery writing with a very vague idea of the world, the mystery of how we got there and urgency of characters wanting to return to their world and 'myself' desiring the opposite is the driving force. As of now, it's just a bunch of folks getting to know and trust each other, overcoming classic dungeon monsters, I'm losing the spark, have been losing it for months now. I enjoy writing interactions between the characters, but progression of plot is... Almost non-existent.

Have you ever considered letting a close, trust worthy but not biased friend read your early parts, like a preview? Maybe they could give you deep insight into what is missing, and that can steer you in the right direction!

You’re such an inspiration! Thank you so much for making this video 🥲

returning to this video. I'm still trying to figure out whether something I've worked on is bad because it is genuinely and objectively bad or whether it's just me overthinking it and wrongly thinking it is and, if it were to be published and became successful, it is actually considered a good read. Thus abandoning it could be seen as a poor move. Do we make a final judgment based on personal feelings and thoughts in our head, go off what others may believe (or what the general consensus seems to be), or is it due to a lack of a person's understanding of the basic fundamentals of creative writing (e.g someone who has an understanding would surely know the answer to this already, wouldn't they) or is it a mix of some? I've come across many stories of writers who, before success, thought that their work was bad and yet they are now considered to be masters or just well-received writers and their work is celebrated as examples of good writing. Stephen King and Charles Bukowski instantly come to mind. We can all agree that they were indeed incredibly wrong in their assessment of their work, wouldn't we?

Well, I finished the first draft of a 240k novel last month, which feels like a success, if that helps...? To give me a break from it before I revise (and probably/hopefully cut!) I'm NaNo-ing with a brand new project, which has only clocked up 2.2k so far, but I have this evening ahead of me for writing...

I finished my book I've been writing for two years last month and set it forward. And I've been super excited to start writing a project I've been planning since 2020 for this year's nanowrimo. And after 3 days i wanted to give up.... It's really difficult to go from working on something that's at a place where you are really happy with it to a completely new project. Cus suddenly it feels like all your writing is shit and how did you even think you were a good writer.....

Apologies if I misunderstood, but to me it sounded like your concern around writing crap, which hems in your (very necessary) capacity to experiment and connect, comes from having this public success to live up to (i.e. getting an agent). There's an author I like who's spoken about reviews. He can read bad ones all day. He already knows all about his flaws and will spot them before any reviewer, and those flaws that aren't there he can dismiss. What he can't do is read good reviews. If he does, there's a chance a reviewer may find things to praise he never intended, which completely destroys his ability to focus when he sits back at the page. It means he struggles to remain true to his original voice, stuck between worrying that he's subconsciously pandering to that reviewer, or moving away from it in an overly reactionary manner. It totally wrecks his brain. So, he ignores feedback altogether. Idk if that pertains to your situation at all, but maybe the ways in which it's wrong will help.

I loved how you talked about discovering the ‘sadness of a character’ when you’re a little while into the book! I have this as well but didn’t really think about it until you mentioned it (also I didn’t know other people also had this I thought it was just a me thing) It’s kind of like discovering the essence of a character. human psychology is so amazing honestly💚💚

I'm late to this but I wanted to thank you for putting into words what I've been feeling while writing my book. It's my first book I've ever tried writing and it has been... a struggle. I don't know what my process is and I'm such a perfectionist that I want to plan every little detail but I'm starting to think this is too much of an emotional, character driven book that it just doesn't work that way. That was the aha moment I needed so thank you, and I hope nanowrimo gives you your aha moment too!!

I'm trying to come up with something useful to tell you, but every couple of minutes into the video my advice to you chances. LOL I keep thinking, "Ah, it's probably X" then watch more of the video, "No, maybe its Y" then another 5 minutes, "Definitely Z then." [1] This leads me to start at the VERY beginning, and give you the most basic "universal" wisdom for why ideas sometimes don't work. And that is to ask you: Can you distill your idea to it's core essence by stating what the book is about (emotionally, externally, whatever) in ONE sentence? THEN, if you can do that, does that sentence you've written, grab YOU, the writer? Does that sentence make you go, "Damn, I would go through heaven and hell to explore this idea right now. This is insane. I NEED to write this NOW." Because if don't have the essence of the book AND that essence isn't creating a compelling drive in you, then you don't have the most basic ingredients to write a book. It's important to note "the essence" doesn't have to be plot-based. The essence can be completely internal/emotional. Another important note, logically, you can answer, "Yes, I have the drive to write this book" but drive isn't logical, it's a feeling. When you read that powerful sentence, you have to literally feel yourself almost shake because it's so powerful to you. If you don't feel that strongly, then you need that emotional connection. And, yes, if you lack that, the answer could be, "This project isn't for me" OR "This project isn't for me RIGHT NOW" but it could also be, "I don't have this connection now, but I want to find it" and therefore, your task is finding out how to INJECT that into your book. I have ideas for HOW to inject that, if you want to hear them let me now. Otherwise, I'm rambling enough about this. [2] A second fundamental suggestion is to ask you: Are you trying to merge 2-3 book ideas into one? The simplest way to figure this out is to figure out the CORE element of your story (it could be a character, a relationship, some key moment, or set of moments, an epiphany, a twist, etc). Whatever the "core is" - name it, then discard EVERYTHING else. So lets say the core is a relationship between character A and B. But you also have character's A relation with C, D, E, characters. Mentally discard with A's relationships with everyone else, and just focus on A+B. Then ask yourself, if I *HAD* to write this story with just this core element, could I do it? If the answer is YES, then you may be bogging down your book with extraneous characters, plots, elements, events. If you say, "Nope, this doesn't work" then the other elements are necessary and you have some other issue. But I have many, many times tried to put two stories into one and it's such a hard problem to SEE. Because to have this problem, all parts are tangentially related. So just thinking, "Do these parts fit" won't let you see the problem. It's more, "COULD I write this book with JUST this (this being the core elements) if I had to" and if you could, you should try that.

The struggle from switching to editing to writing again is real. It's like you spent so much time being objective and overthinking that you can't just let things flow anymore. It's an unlearning every time.

You are not at all alone in this!! This video is making me feel so seen. I started writing my first full novel in 2018 and finished the first draft within a year. I've been editing it ever since, my beta readers and critique partners loved it. But even after years of reworking it I have several big problems with it and I can't seem to figure it out. Every solution I've tried just creates more problems and plot holes. I can't let go of the project because it has so much potential and I care very deeply about the characters. It keeps me up at night, I can't stop thinking about it, but I've also been stuck for such a long time. Is it that I have outgrown the project or that it has in fact outgrown me? Has my own work become too complex for me to see it through? I wrote a second novel while editing the first one which I LOVE, but I've started to run into very similar problems and I'm so frustrated. Reading over what I've written used to be so exciting, now it just makes me cringe. It has gotten to the point where it's crushing my self worth as a writer. I love writing so much and I really don't want to lose that part of myself. Anyway, thank you for from the bottom of my heart for talking about this. Hugs! ❤

I feel your struggle. I had a similar problem with my first novel that I wrote last NaNo a few weeks ago. Something was missing and the story felt boring. Also I couldn't really connect with my main character. I talked about this problem with my close friend and together we worked out what needed to be changed. Have you considered giving those words you've written to a reader and ask what they think of it? Maybe they have a better view on what isn't working so you can fix it. Don't give up on that book yet! Maybe this book doesn't have chapters, maybe it's just paragraphs, maybe this book needs a new way on how the format is. You'll figure it out, I'm sure of it! :D I jumped in to this NaNoWriMo with a story I thought of about two years ago. There is Losts still to find out. I'm a planter so what Im doing at the moment is writing the scenes as I see them which is a mess :P But slowly the story is taking shape and I cannot wait to get the scenes in order and see what material I have to work with after NaNoWriMo. At the moment I'm at 24K (Day 14). This book will need a lot of work but that's how first drafts are, right? And some are dirtier than others. This one is a pretty dirty one but I'll clean it up next year and I'm excited about doing so :D Sending you love and creative vibes

I enjoy your videos, but this one really hit. You have *such a grasp on the finer mechanics. I'm working on something now that's been dragging me along for years but I know one day it will click like a lock and all the lights will come on. Do you work in Word, Scrivener, or analog? I would watch a video of you unboxing a Freewrit platform and discussing the ways it affects your planning process versus your creativity. Keep up the great work!

Love this kind of stuff! Honesty with your own work is so tough

One of my motivations when I feel insecure is Stephen King's "Carrie". Sometimes all you need is another pair of eyes. You know you are a good writer. You've done it before. The only rule is the story must be interesting. Take a break, do other fun stuff, come back to it and ask yourself how you can make it more interesting. Happy writing!! 😊

Thank you. I thought it was just me. A couple of months ago I was in the middle of a conversation with my sister. Because I had these thoughts from my character running through my head, I just started to cry. I broke down entirely. I was defeated. Being the older brother she looked worried, almost scared when the tears didn't stop. My chest felt like it had been ripped open. I often wonder whether writing is therapy or insanity. Talking to people that do not exist. Living lives that never lived. It's nice to know other people are so deeply rooted in their pages as I am.

I poped in this video not knowing anything about this channel. From what I gather from the things you're saying is that book seems to lack focus. It doesn't seem have a rallying point or end goal for the characters, its just going... You said you don't want to put chapter names, but I think that you should. The chapter names would focus your subconscious and allow you pants around that focus and or theme, towards an inevitable end. You're not feeling for the characters because maybe what's going on isn't urgent or worth striving for. (And you can always remove the chapter names for the reader afterwards) Maybe plot out your book, but don't plot ahead, plot retroactively. Read the book as critic and stake stock of what actually happens vs all the feelings and emotions. Break the book down to cause and effect. The last thing is Maybe the subtle nature of it all. Maybe that's causing a sense of monotone. Everything subtle and dulled so you can't really feel anything gripping. You need those highs and lows otherwise it can just feel boring. Welp thats my take. It might not be the best of advice, and I'm not even a regular so I don't know if you've considered this already. But I hope it helps

(con't from previous comment) I too have a fear of doing terribly at the line level. My specialty is comedy, which makes things a lot tougher because one lame or awkwardly-timed joke can throw off the equilibrium of the entire work. This results in a desperation for co-writers: the sooner I get my writing process out of a self-contained vacuum, the better. "This new draft will be easy" always happens after you've written something reeeeeally good. I remember drafting 10 plays in a row that were practically stage-worthy without the need to polish. Then I put another 10 on my schedule and only managed to write 8, and only 2 or 3 of those 8 ended up in a condition where I didn't cringe my balls off. At the risk of stating the obvious: Experimenting (with a capital E) and letting yourself write crap is much easier when the stakes aren't as high. My wild guess is that with securing an agent so quickly, the rest of the process will be speeding up and once "Honey Vinegar" and "Holding a Ghost" see the light of day, you'll be expected by average readers to match that quality. Which is a ridiculous expectation. I'm not saying you should lower your goals on "Salt Birds" to the point where it's a lesser work; I'm just saying other people need to calm down. And since you're lambasting the structure you came up with as "just events", my concluding suggestion is to wrap up whatever stray ideas you still need to write down, then take at least a month to focus on the stronger events. Instead of on the entire book. Think of it as survival of the fittest: once you have your strongest setpieces in place, what might happen is that the weak links will leave your book.

Thank you for doing this video. This is pretty much how I'm feeling about my own work in progress these days. Kind of at a standstill because I don't know which way to turn. I do think I have something really good but it still needs so much work.

Thank you for the video. It's very helpful, especially for someone who has a lot of insecurity surrounding my work. I have a lot of trouble letting the characters lead the story/listening to the character. Do you have any tips on that? Maybe make a video? :D Thanks for all the great content!

you want a success story? After months of not writing I got back to my project, and yesterday I wrote 2500 words, which is my personal record I´ve been writing this book for 8 years. I had to finish it first before it clicked that it´s actually 4 books in one. Some projects will just test you to see if you stick with them before they give their secrets

Don't start a new project with preconceived notions that since the other one was easy, this should be too. It stifles your writing. Projects are like characters. As you write, you learn more about them. No two works are the same even if it's written by the same person. Start each work with a clean slate. You'll discover things as you go. After all, that's what's fun about making things up! Don't take yourself too seriously 😊

I write mostly music, but I've also written a novel and a short story collection and I have several other books in progress. In my something like 45 years of writing one of the best pieces of advice I got was 'write for the trashcan'. At first it seemed so counterintuitive, I think I really was/am a perfectionist. But I was in such a tough spot creatively that I decided to try it. Something weird happened right away, in that I initially went the opposite direction somehow and became even more critical of myself than I had been. But I eventually got loosened up and then something else amazing happened. I was actually pleasantly surprised by what I produced. And maybe the key was that because I loosened up I didn't stop. Best of luck.

I don't see how it would be possible for you to be in a position to judge your own book, in the middle of the process of writing it. I draw. A very useful thing when you draw is to see what you draw, inverted in the image of a mirror and thus be able to look at it with new eyes. The brain accommodates the balanced perceptions (according to its understanding :)) to its most understandable version and this leaves you with a mirage. I hope you find something equivalent! On the other hand, I don't think an author has the eyes of a reader. Good luck!

"Now that there's a building narrative that is stronger than the narrative in my book -- of me fighting with this book." Whoa, that must feel weird. I hope the daily immersion helps. I'm a more plot-heavy writer, but my current book was stalling, at least emotionally for me, until I recently realized how the series antagonist, who as plotted had one appearance to interact with this book's villain, will instead have a few scenes throughout with other characters... and a twisty and horrific final scene that gives the book a real punch it otherwise lacked.

Theodore Sturgeon said that 90% of writing is sh*t - I think I'm getting that right. Was he right? I think so on dark days. We creative folks are hardest on ourselves. I suspect your creation works.

I feel like you’re doing something I call “backlighting”. It’s the opposite of foreshadowing, where you use smaller past details to create bigger future events, instead of using bigger future events to create smaller past details.

It sounds to me like your characters might actually have some threads of shared dramatic backstory that you as the author have not become consciously aware of yet. This would be the energy current which would be informing all the small, subtle interactions. But since you as author may not have discovered this missing piece(s) of backstory, it feels as though you are flying blind. It would make a satisfying ending to have all the mysterious and seemingly unrelated threads suddenly come together, joined by some previous event(s) that the reader is only now learning of. I don't know if this even fits, but I'm thinking if you start to get discouraged, chugging forward on pure faith alone, it might help to journal or write a letter as your main character and see what can be mined from their unacknowledged past.

One thing that came to my mind when you mentioned the novel being about "to what lenghts one will go to be loved" was, what's the stakes? If the main chracter goes too far in their pursuit of love, what would be the tangible/emotional impact? What would they lose? Perhaps working on protraying that stakes as something the audience can get really attached to, is the key to making the conflict well-rounded, and working as an engine for the story? No idea if this is an issue at all, but thought it might be wortth sharing. And thank you for the good advice you put out there, it has been really helpful!

Been watching you for a couple years, trying to learn to become a writer myself, thank you for your advice and practical tips. And what I've observed, I think, is you're too hard on yourself. I'm sure the book isn't that bad. Get the first draft done. Maybe it will be a rough draft and you'll completely go a different direction after you have a chance to sit on it. If you can't get it done, then set it a side for a while & go back. But I've seen you in your videos, cutting down your old work, making it technically better. I feel you've lose some of your intent and story telling when you do that. I think you're trying to be too technical or you let the rules keep you from expressing yourself and telling the stories you want to tell. I'm not saying you're trying to be a perfectionist but no piece of art or creation will ever be perfect. And the rules are meant to be broken. Remember, that the beauty is often found in the imperfections. Good luck & hang in there!

I’ve loved your videos for a few years now. Can I share something my favorite MFA teacher taught me? She said: Don’t look so much into what does and doesn’t work. Instead, ask yourself this: “What does your [story, character, etc.] WANT to become?” I wonder if that might help you out with your current MC. Can’t wait to listen to the rest of this on my drive to work!

I recently lost all my notes, outlines, chapters and worldbuilding from my pc breaking down! Really suck but now I will start over and perhaps be better? Hope so, very insecure that I wont be able to recreate it.

After your 'chapter hack' worked for me, I think that hack would get some pacing going at the very least. Get the autonomic functions going and the rest will kick.

*Drug though She may, the Sybil utters/ A gush of table-chat.* W.H. Auden. Under Sirius.

I'm kind of in a similar place as you. I finished my first novel in which I have been deeply immersed for basically a decade and whose characters mean so so so much to me. Two months ago I started work on my second novel and I'm still finding my feet there. It's been so long since I've known near nothing about my characters and what they feel like. Now, for some weird reason, while listening to you talk about your writing problem, I had a bit of an epiphany about a scene I need to replace in the first chapter, and that somehow made things click into place to where I'm beginning to feel my main character. It's like I need to find the closedness of my characters, their internality that they'd never share with anyone, so that I can ease myself into their being, feel their borders, their shape, and then write them from there. Somehow I got a bit closer to this while half listening, half reflecting on my own text.

You are INCREDIBLY helpful to this newbie writer. Thank you!

i've been stuck on a novella i started writing years ago but refused to let go of. i think at some point one of the acts never could leave my brain, so every time i come back to it i just come up empty. it's frustrating when the first time i started writing it felt euphoric but now it sort of stagnated. it's made worse when my more recent works are just written better, so it makes it increasingly difficult to go back to this one piece that i desperately want to finish. EDIT: i've finally got back into it! the key for me was to get back into the mood i was in back when i started writing it and now it's much easier to keep writing even after how long it's been since my last edit.

There a LOT to be said about how it feels. I have always followed the line someone once told me ‘if you feel it, the reader will too; if it touches you, it will touch others’, of course it has to be written well for that to work. Intricacies of conveying feelings is such a skill. I also think you are an intuitive writer (a better word than a pantser) so there’s a reason you want to introduce this other character into the story, let it develop. I feel you are conflicted between knowing all in advance and wanting to experiment. I actually love how the book rebels against our desired outcome, that’s exciting

Love this episode!

I'm thinking, maybe you've been waiting for your character to turn out tragic when in fact, maybe that's led you to neglect what makes them happy outside of that, and so they end up less rounded? I know it can be an issue when I create characters personally

I have serious procrastination issue, I'm currently writing my novel since years ago, and its never finish. Is it good? I dont think so. Congratulation for at least you can finish your novel.

It's good when you can be honest with yourself. You can never improve if you think you have everything all figured out

When I get stuck I walk out of the cabin and let the sea move my hammock and I take a nap asking myself what would happen next or what would be new or different. When I wake it is either my sciff is under my bow, which happens, or the idea comes to me.

You describing the issues about the characters feeling silo’s reminds me of What We Do in the Shadows I feel like season one is a great example of synergy between the characters, and then the later episodes are more silo’d Like you check in here and there with them versus explore their interconnections. Not sure if this is helpful! Might be an interesting little bit of fun research haha

im curious about what you said about not knowing what a chapter looks for for that book. i hope you try to experiment with different ways to make a chapter. a lot of nonfiction work does this really well. when i have had issues with my own nonfiction work, a lot of the time it's a structure or pov thing. is my structure all wrong? how does this story need to be told? who is telling it, when are they telling it, and why? would love to hear about any writing updates you have.

As a fellow pantser, I can relate. Whenever I outline a project, the project dies (it ends). Something in my brain goes off and the central idea is no longer interesting to me.

I know that this is late and I am not a published author, so take that what I say with a pinch of salt, but what you are experiencing is the most common hurdle I face when first creating a story, whether it's characters, themes or plot. I like to describe it as the hook or you could say purpose, what is the purpose of the story existing and if you don't know want that purpose is or don't feel that hook then you are going to feel disconnected. And you did kinda hit the nail on the head when you were explaining your fears of experimenting, do you remember time when you first started to write, regardless whether the story was good or bad, because it was good in the moment and that's all that mattered, that is creativity in it's purest form, when we grow older we start to lose that, feeling like racing against time and that there is no room for failure, we stop making room for creativity. And it's ok to be worried about this disconnection but I think you are doing fine, when this happens to me I usually take a break and work on another story, until eventually a hook or purpose presents itself, why not explore the things you have in your story, what you want in it, what works and doesn't, even if that means making a random story to help you get that answer, you want the story to work, and will with time sometimes that's all is needed.

There's no shame in putting a work aside for a while and working on other projects. If you look at it with fresh eyes, later, you might see what's missing.

A sadness about wanting to be loved, to me, is that everything else that you are and that you have in your life feels so empty and bleak that the only way you can be happy / feel something is to gain that love. So maybe the sadness is not about wanting that person, but about what else you’re missing that makes you want it so much? I haven’t seen the next video but felt like throwing my two cents in - for the rest, it’s very interesting as usual 💜

Take a break and write a short story, perhaps your just getting too caught up with the project and could use a little distance from it for a little while...hope you get through this slump soon!

I do the same. I’m at 119 k and have some dialogue issues and tags I need to correct. Instead of doing that now I’m in the 2nd story. I have three stories up in Scrivener and adjust them at the same time to keep momentum with the characters and flow. I always do things three at a time so I can tighten my stories. Maybe you could do this except instead of stories your three act story structure instead. See it all at this be time.

Feels like, as far as defining a "chapter," maybe you could do like Brandon Taylor does. He likes writing stories more than novels, so he just pretends each chapter is a short story. Its like if Filthy Animals was a novel. It you read that collection like a novel, it could work. Name your chapters to work woth them, then remove the chapter names in the final edit? Use filthy animals!

Several years later in front of my typewriter I remember her, I remember her as beautiful as a flower in spring and I ask myself over and over again what happened to that little girl of my dreams who...

maybe something about it scares you. I don't know, I feel like I can relate to this a lot. Hope it works out, good luck w nano