So Your Cat Wants A Massage? 

No one sent me here I googled this willingly

As weird as this lady is, I gotta give her props: that cat looks like it's in absolute ecstasy

This is no doubt the greatest video ever produced. It's also incredibly helpful. My cat and I are getting married next week.

"If you're left handed use your left hand, if you're right handed, use your right hand. Or if you're right handed, try using your left hand and vice versa". What was the fucking point?

I think this "woman" is actually about 8 cats taped together with a mask.

This seems like something that would be on Adult Swim at like 4am lol.

That is amazing that Simon and Garfunkle wrote a song about cat massage.

Favorite part: "That says a lot about life, and about cat massage."

"It's you Champer-damper, it's you."

You think it's ridiculous, but that cat looks relaxed as fuck.

how did i get here

0:35 did that tiger just fucking wink at me

This video is full of gold: "Petting is just randomly petting." "Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!" "Relax you have the best teacher available... your cat!" "Caution, if your kitty doesn't like her fur disturbed, she might just tell you to shuffle out the door." "Caution, either they like this or they don't." "A whisker water alert is in effect here. A major whisker watch is in effect here." "Is your cat a talker? If so, cat massage will bring out his best 'mega meow' moments. We call it... Power Purring!" "The front of your cat is a veritable treasure chest of fun." "You don't need a swimming pool for this breast stroking!" "This is especially good for 'macho cats.'" "This is a really groovy move... Bell-y-rama!" (Singing) "Who's the best cat in the U-nit-ed States? It's you, Champer Damper, it's you..." The best part is that she seems to be taking everything she's saying seriously.

I relate to this woman so much more strongly than I should. She is me. I am her.

The divorce hit her pretty hard.

IT'S YOU Champer Damper. IT'S YOU.

i feel like i might be the only person that was actually looking up videos on 'how to massage my cat'. i'm not crazy, he just gets stressed out sometimes.

"use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun" .....I thought I was petting a cat

"you can't fool drool" "MMMMMMMM"

oops I used lotions and oils on my cat

Seeing how old this video is, that cat probably passed a while ago. I think it's really sweet she made an inadvertent tribute to her little buddy. Hope you're mega meowing with the best of em, Champer Damper

Her husband said, "It's either me or the cat." She picked the cat.

This video makes me happy to be alive.

WISKER WATCH ALERT WEEE OOOO WEEE OOOO

WOW! after seeing her in person at the Los Angeles cat fest "through the eyes of a FELINE" ...i see why most of the 200+ audience knew this video by heart. after I got thru screaming with laughter (cause she has SUCH a great sense of humor about herself and about this early video) IHAD TO return to youtube cause she DID confirm stuff I'd seen by trial and error ...and mentioned some new stuff. (my "cat" Jazzmyn gives it 3 paws up. She wolda gone 4...but she needed to balance on SOMEthing!)

Oh shit, guys! We got a major whisker watch alert in effect!!!

You know back in the day this video made me riot with laughter. Years later I get a cat for the first time and immediately think "what would cat massage lady do" 😩😂😂 my cat DOES love an excruciatingly slow pet. Thanks random lady

Who's the best cat in the United States its you champer damper

I dont remember how this ever ended up in my favorites folder but watching this is so therapeutical. 3 years strong

so much innuendo...sooo little time

not a cellphone insight, just people living in the moewment.

@2:34 I love how the cat lifts his head, like, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The whisker massage is totally working for my cat. Plus a light stroke on the top of the head. This woman rocks.

it's you, champer damper. it's you.

this is how you get rid of unwanted guests

I just laughed for 12 minutes straight. Thanks champer damper!

All jokes aside, every cat I’ve done this too loves it. My cat loves it and my friends cats love it. I think she put a lot of time and effort into this...

"we touch all the time...so why not be the best at it?" also, the little "ehh!" at the beginning makes me laugh every time!

This is goofy as heck, but I gotta say, that is one seriously happy cat.

I can't believe this only has 4 and a half million views. I've told so many people about this video

"Simply start from the base of the rump, rubbing your way out."

I have memorized parts of the dialogue of this video I have seen it so much

"That say a lot about life and about cat massage." I could not stop laughing.

champer damper

no one’s gonna talk about the kitty’s face when the lady started massaging her tail ?? :-D so cute

Best comedy moment EVER. My sides are split from laughing. Thank you , laughter therapy is all you need in life.

*tries to massage cat, is brutally mauled*

I had a kitty that looked exactly like Champer-Damper...he was the best cat in the United States. As a kitten, he was abandoned by the neighbors when they moved out. I rescued him just in time! He grew into a beautiful silver Jaguar and lived 12 years. RIP KitKat kitty boi. ❤️🥰 This Video makes me happeh!

I've got to go to the drooler to get my ring cleaned.

Who's the best cat in the United States? It's you.

"It says a lot about life, and about cat massage." OH GOD I'M LITERALLY DYEING HERE

2:23 "Kill me!"

Yeah, I would be in the hospital if I do this with my cat.

After showing this to my cat, he got pissed that he wasn't the best cat in the United States. He hid. Haven't seen him in days. I think he's at a friend's place. If you find him let me know. He answers to Agent of Doom. Please halp!

Thanks, Devin, for the nightmares...

I lost it when she brought out the tiger stuffed animal.

My drama teacher would quote this every day. She introduced me to this video in 6th grade. Best video ever!

The comments here are all Champer Dampers. I laughed, I cried, you became a part of me.

By next week, this video will have double the views Thanks Rhett and Link

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! And yet, I'm still delighted.

This video never fails me. Bless this woman, she is fucking hilarious.

at 2:38 the cat's face screams "save me!"

Remember, you can't fool drool. Mmmmmmm.

HOLD ON, I'M CONFUSED... I'm right handed, should I use my left hand or my right foot? NEED A REPLY ASAP THIS IS CRUCIAL PLS

I think Champion has been drugged.

Sing it!! Who's the craziest cat lady in the United States?

I bet the cat died mid production so they needed a plush to replace it

She even looks like a cat! They've reached another level, those damned cats!

that was the most sensuous video i've ever seen

2:26 "The fuck is this nigga doing?"

"Cat massage will bring out his best meow moments" *CAT MEOWS LIKE IT'S IN THE WORST PAIN OF ITS LIFE*

There's so much to love here--the "drooler/jewler" pun is maybe the best/worst? Oh, I don't know-almost every sentence is a gem.

To be fair, the cat seems to enjoy it. And if the relationship works for them, why not?

"Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!" ...

I'm here before all the other victims of youtube algorithm

Still to this day the best video on the internet

She looks like Elton John.

2 and a half minutes in, I have an exam tomorrow and I don't even have a cat, but for some reason I'm still watching.

"Simply follow from the base of the rump, slowly rubbing your way out."

God the innuendo is killing me! Lol. This is fantastic

Maybe the woman is a little crazy, but look how happy this kitty cat is.

EH

ITS YOU CHAMPER DAMPER

2:40 "Who's the craziest woman in the United States? It's you"

this video is very important to me

I can't decided if this is amazingly hilarious or just creepy

She could at least say hes the best cat in the world... just the USA.. .. weak

The first time I saw this all those years back I cried with laughter.

This video is littered with cat puns

is there a kind of magic mushroom called cat mushroom? she may have meant it...

Rhett and Link sent me, but I am sure you were most likely sent here by them as well.

This is one of the best video the internet has to offer

Caution! My 15 cats will eat me when I die alone in my apartment...

Chadtronic

You can't fool drool!

"there is a major whisker watch alert in effect here" and "you don't need a swimming pool for this breast stroke" were my favorites.

1:10 How come nobody comments on this batshit line?

"Looks like she took the divorce pretty hard

but the real question is: where can i find her ootd video

"She forgets to swallow , and then she drools "