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Southern Coastway Exposed! - Train Sim World 2020 

Colonel Failure
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If you're expecting a hard hitting expose of Southern Railway's total lack of reliability you've come to the right place! Why is Southern the butt of all train jokes in the UK? If this driver is anything to go by you need look no further.
This is the Train Sim World 2020 Southern Coastway route, made to look simple by a total train simulation professional (*)
***********
Keep reading! This is where I put an easter egg in every video! It definitely isn't exactly the same every single time. No. Secrets are shared below. You should click on all the links to ensure you don't miss the secrets (*).
Would you like a personal video just for you? Perhaps you have a burning question you'd like answered? Now you can have exactly that. Visit me on Wisio and I'll see what I can do : www.wisio.com/...
If you'd like to get an extra video per week, join the Fail Brigade Discord server, play games with the Colonel and help the channel grow you have two paths to glory:
Option 1: Patreon - / colonelfailure
Option 2: RU-vid - www.youtube.co...
All new merchandise everybody! That's what you want. Forget paying the rent! Buy a tshirt instead : colonelfailure.com
Do you want to follow a Twitter account that is actually cheerful? Not in the kind of way that offers life-affirming, inspirational text with a waterfall in the background, but in a jolly, acerbic kind of way? Follow me on Twitter. That's what I do. / cnlfailure
Do you want to know what videos are coming up each week? A few people do. I don't always get around to publishing the schedule, but when I do, I do it on Facebook. Not sure why I chose Facebook, but there you are. / cnlfailure
That's all for now. You can go about your business.
(*) - Today's secret: The aforementioned train simulation professional was not available for this video, so I filled in.

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6 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 183   
@JakePetrolhead
@JakePetrolhead 4 года назад
Unrealistic DLC - the train actually showed up. Basically unplayable.
@papasmurfette007
@papasmurfette007 4 года назад
In fact it showed up three times at one station. Southern should be applauded for hiring a driver with such dedication to improving the statistical bottom line...
@whatdoyoumeanbro4964
@whatdoyoumeanbro4964 4 года назад
Lmfaoooo
@ok7513
@ok7513 4 года назад
According to a 2017 test I made, southern comes second worst... after Thameslink!
@TransportCambs
@TransportCambs 3 года назад
obvious lie, the train is a paid actor. smh my head
@yourlocaltrainenthusiast
@yourlocaltrainenthusiast 3 года назад
SOUTHERN R GREAT SOFUCKOFF
@BeastyBill88
@BeastyBill88 4 года назад
Southern Railway wishes all its customers a happy 2014 and apologises for the late arrival of this message.
@noostroi
@noostroi 4 года назад
And we're away! [ immediately applies emergency brakes ] 😂😂😂
@cbawitlife
@cbawitlife 3 года назад
@SAM SOLO bruh.
@philipbossy4834
@philipbossy4834 4 года назад
Good to know that red signals are actually just a very severe speed limit rather than a sign to stop.
@kristofkellens3264
@kristofkellens3264 4 года назад
flies past glynde, actually stops, puts it in reverse and manages to go past it again. ahhh marvelous, that's why the colonel is the best at tsw
@Eydermann456
@Eydermann456 4 года назад
As a man from the railway and use these units everyday, it pained me to watch you monumentally bugger up every operational requirement you needed to do 😂 you didn't turn on the AWS, DRA, DVD etc. You didn't turn your lights on. And you didn't close the cab door behind you. I'm so upset 😭
@Seathal
@Seathal 4 года назад
As a man who takes public transport the most bothersome element is the half dozen emergency brakes he's done by mistake xD
@sbrw4316
@sbrw4316 4 года назад
the throttle is so hard to use, the train always shoves it all the way up or down to emergency break, thats why i use A and D
@t04sty46
@t04sty46 4 года назад
Yeah using power handles with the mouse is always a pain
@JJII161
@JJII161 4 года назад
"It's going to be close"! *blows past the station at 90mph*
@Baleur
@Baleur 4 года назад
How much more easily the game would have been if he learnt the keyboard controls for forward and back... xD
@dacookiebandit
@dacookiebandit 4 года назад
One set of Grandparents live in Eastbourne, the other in Polegate, Stepdad is from near Glynde and went to college in Lewes. This video is basically just one massive adolescent travel PTSD trigger...
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
More than happy to help you relive the horror/joy.
@otg374nowdiscontinued7
@otg374nowdiscontinued7 3 года назад
30:57 'No no no. It's not an aeroplane!' Made my week!
@Fungusfilms
@Fungusfilms 4 года назад
So it turns out you're the legendary kid who only did the first page of the examination, because it didn't have a printed instruction to turn the page.
@CATASTEROID934
@CATASTEROID934 4 года назад
Well at least it's not a bunch of Pacers lashed together with zip ties and electrical tape so it's not all doom and gloom, the passengers are spared the diabolical "seating" of those accursed things that stubbornly refuse to cease operating.
@FilipLamparski
@FilipLamparski 4 года назад
What's the bet that RMT are going to use this very video for their "and that's why we can't have driver-only operation" argument next time they feel like going on a strike?
@mobiletransportvideo
@mobiletransportvideo 3 года назад
“Next Stop Polegate. Passengers for polegate should be travelling in the first 5 Coaches only. You can thank your silly driver for this”
@planetjakebomb
@planetjakebomb 28 дней назад
I love how Colonel blew past a station and it was the ONLY time he didn't use the emergency brake... 😂
@SteadyBob
@SteadyBob 4 года назад
I have noticed a few comments saying that it would be easier if the Colonel used a keyboard, it may well be easier, but, we don't come here for easier, we come here for 'Fun and Failure' which is what we get in abundance. Long may it continue. Carry On.
@moparacker
@moparacker 4 года назад
I so wanted that "8" in the cab to be a button that says "eight" when pressed.
@nyooom7467
@nyooom7467 4 года назад
1:27 Big Lads more like *A B S O L U T E U N I T*
@tomparmenter8665
@tomparmenter8665 4 года назад
This brings back memories of relying on Southern Snail. I once waited an hour and a half for a late train. It got to the next station and then turned around. Skipping about 10 stations. I worked from home that day.
@jshj80
@jshj80 4 года назад
In before the "What button to make the conductor announcements?" post.
@trainstrains1
@trainstrains1 4 года назад
Hilarious! It reminds me of being at work teaching trainees in the simulators. It's more fun to watch when you're not teaching someone though.
@nstheboss
@nstheboss 4 года назад
Do you have any tips on how to get on the ladder to become a train driver? All the vacancies are qualified train drivers :( probably not the place to ask but as your a driver trainer you might be able to help me
@trainstrains1
@trainstrains1 4 года назад
@@nstheboss It depends what Country you want to be a driver in. I'm in Australia and we're always hiring drivers in my city. Often railways promote from within so if you can any job on a railway that might be a way to go.
@nstheboss
@nstheboss 4 года назад
@@trainstrains1 thank you for the advice :)
@anthonyexmouth
@anthonyexmouth 4 года назад
"Frodo clutching his magic ring" Well thanks, ruined my keyboard when i spat my coffee all over it.
@Northlander74
@Northlander74 4 года назад
YES!!!! 2020 is off to a classic start with a return to TSW!!!! :D
@airspeed_alive
@airspeed_alive 4 года назад
Things I love... DTG Releasing a new route... Things I think about "OMG Colonel will do a new video soon"... Thing I love MOST: Watching Colonels new video including many hilarious gags!
@doomotron6160
@doomotron6160 4 года назад
Colonel Failure: This is why Southern sucks. Southern: Stops sucking and becomes one of the most reliable operators in the country.
@kimjongunlol193
@kimjongunlol193 4 года назад
Doomotron Never happen sorry
@doomotron6160
@doomotron6160 4 года назад
@@kimjongunlol193 Southern has a timeliness percentage over 90%. It is higher than a lot of other operators.
@matsv201
@matsv201 4 года назад
Danish intercity trains got a really cool solution where the front door is the control panel. If you open the door, you lock away the control panel.
@daviddryden8088
@daviddryden8088 4 года назад
DRA-the Derailing Assistant. LOL!
@Lord_Stannis
@Lord_Stannis 4 года назад
Some say Frodo is still in the south of England swamp clutching his magic ring. Great video original as ever!
@jeffbishop9404
@jeffbishop9404 4 года назад
100% improvement on Southern Rail services there Colonel! Why haven't Southern asked you to drive for them yet?
@RTM-Sports
@RTM-Sports 4 года назад
I always thought Hampden Park was in Scotland, a bit outside Southern Rails jurisdiction. But I suppose it's like every other location in the UK/Common Wealth/North America, so good they named it twice... Excellent video and commentary btw
@mrmcbaldspot
@mrmcbaldspot 4 года назад
I don't think the Empire had Wookies in mind when they designed her, Chewie.
@2CraftySeniors
@2CraftySeniors 4 года назад
Good fun, Colonel! A few laughs are always good for making the day brighter.
@DoctorMagdaki
@DoctorMagdaki 4 года назад
After the episode you must have been having nightmares about emergency brakes. No, no, emergency. Lol
@ah13stu7
@ah13stu7 4 года назад
Get the bulldozer out on those pesky red signals. Get in the old class 31 to give us even more pleasure.
@maxgleaves5454
@maxgleaves5454 4 года назад
Pretty confident that Northern Fail makes Southern Rail look efficient.... with or without the Colonel at the helm
@Erinxh
@Erinxh 4 года назад
This was a really good entertaining episode! It reminded me of your infamous Liverpool approach, a true Epic Failure!
@AnonYmous-dh2zt
@AnonYmous-dh2zt 4 года назад
My hometown (Eastbourne)! Also, yes it is always f***ing raining, considering it's called the "Sunshine Coast". Also, yes again, Southern is the s***iest Train Operating Company in the UK.
@al3xand3rl3wis3
@al3xand3rl3wis3 4 года назад
Between Northern and Southern the UK is awful for rail traffic.
@fighterpilot5105
@fighterpilot5105 3 года назад
Stop making me snort rum and coke, Colonel. It burns...And, I'm thinking that was a Fawltey door.
@OscarLovesVil
@OscarLovesVil 3 года назад
Learning the configuration of the glorious Southern 377 Part 54.
@airspeed_alive
@airspeed_alive 4 года назад
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! @ Creeping past the signal and hope it don't notice! Loooool! Brilliant Colonel! You make me laugh so much!
@tomosmerivale6297
@tomosmerivale6297 4 года назад
As you referenced M&S, I work in M&S and currently on break
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
Not just any break though...
@muhammedibrahimsarfraz8770
@muhammedibrahimsarfraz8770 4 года назад
This was a very good simulation. Just one tip I learnt.All electrostars in this simulation always need to have the automatic door open before u can close the cab door ;)
@mikefj2004
@mikefj2004 4 года назад
Let’s rock, ok we’re away (pushes emergency break😂😂😂😂😂)
@lastationproductions
@lastationproductions 11 месяцев назад
The train announcements always get me lol 😂
@scmtuk3662
@scmtuk3662 4 года назад
If you keep insisting on going straight for B3, instead of applying a smaller level of breaking power, there wouldn't be a risk of an Emergency Stop. (Also, A to increase throttle/decrease brakes, D to decrease throttle/increase brake. No more magnets.)
@MarsMullo1
@MarsMullo1 4 года назад
At 6:08 there is a need for the smoothing tool between the tracks. You can change games Colonel but you can't escape your pet terrain peeve.😉
@jacktaylor9078
@jacktaylor9078 4 года назад
I'm only just seeing this, but this guys really funny. Made my Week 😂😂😂
@berenscott8999
@berenscott8999 4 года назад
That point where you realise there is a keyboard button for speeding up and slowing down :P
@zekrom6537
@zekrom6537 4 года назад
he knows but he want it to be more realistic but well the game really loves that emergency brake xD
@berenscott8999
@berenscott8999 4 года назад
@@zekrom6537 when you drive a train you dont have to take your eyes off the prize to adjust the throttle. ;)
@Raayhan2704
@Raayhan2704 3 года назад
Naa this man makes me laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣, great content great voice over
@PazDAlma
@PazDAlma 4 года назад
God I can’t watch this, I’m gonna play Transport Fever 2 URGENT 😂
@andrewtimmis3482
@andrewtimmis3482 4 года назад
From Eastborune, can confirm, is raining...
@woodchipnz
@woodchipnz 4 года назад
I'm (originally) from Seaford. DLC bought as soon as I saw it had Seaford in it.
@volvotrident4835
@volvotrident4835 4 года назад
I love Seaford lol
@papasmurfette007
@papasmurfette007 4 года назад
More hosing action than a fireman's appliance convention...
@Northlander74
@Northlander74 4 года назад
Berwick upon Tweed...right on the Northumberland border to Scotland
@underwaterdick
@underwaterdick 4 года назад
So, not quite north then! Gotta hit Perth before you are truly approaching the north! 😉
@Northlander74
@Northlander74 4 года назад
@@underwaterdick North of England
@cabe_bedlam
@cabe_bedlam 4 года назад
Seems I will never fulfil my dream as a warning beep conductor.
@jaydenrusson371
@jaydenrusson371 4 года назад
Do more Train things, you make my day :)
@jochenlippert2353
@jochenlippert2353 4 года назад
One of the few train lines in Britain I've seen myself (not used yet tho) :)
@gamingwithslowpsycho1507
@gamingwithslowpsycho1507 4 года назад
A 377 tight? Try the class 153 before they disappear.... only one of the driving cabs are original and full depth
@3ftsteamrwy12
@3ftsteamrwy12 4 года назад
Being from the US, I have to ask...is the distain that UK citizens seem to have for the former Southern Railway system in the "grouping" era connected to its rather geriatric collection of elderly steam locos in the classic era as opposed to the other 3 companies with their flying scots, castles and other more modern locomotives?
@Tyrope
@Tyrope 4 года назад
Disclaimer: not a UK citizen, I just live in the UK. Nah, it's just that Southern Railway is tits. Not "the tits", just tits.
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
Southern is a rail operator that has a deserved reputation for unreliability. There's nothing more to it than that.
@underwaterdick
@underwaterdick 4 года назад
The modern disdain for Southern has NOTHING to do with anything before the franchise went to them. It has everything to do with their poor performance, customer service and infamous strikes. Then again, Northern just had their franchise cancelled, and South Western Railway are at rock bottom in customers eyes currently. Historic locomotives and regions are irrelevant.
@mobiletransportvideo
@mobiletransportvideo 4 года назад
Colonel, you probably had a few cars hanging off the back end of the platform at Hampden Park
@MrRaymondo007
@MrRaymondo007 4 года назад
That was fun Thanks Colonel
@kimjongunlol193
@kimjongunlol193 4 года назад
The Victoria to South London route has always been ontime lol..
@alkohallick2901
@alkohallick2901 4 года назад
Best thing I watched all day!
@JimLem
@JimLem 4 года назад
That door with the consoles attached to it is meant to stay open when the cab is in use. That's why it kept opening when you sat down.
@Mass_hole508
@Mass_hole508 4 года назад
New TSW from the Colonel! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
@baardk2
@baardk2 4 года назад
LOL! :) That f..... emergency. I hate it too :)
@baronburgamot243
@baronburgamot243 4 года назад
Really enjoy our videos, and I ... live there, I live in Eastbourne
@marquestainter4131
@marquestainter4131 4 года назад
"Colonel Emergency Stop!!"
@DWtrainsNZ
@DWtrainsNZ 4 года назад
One of the best you've ever done. Brilliant 😂
@coinman1972
@coinman1972 4 года назад
Probably should use the keyboard when using these locos. just a suggestion :)
@aircooledorion
@aircooledorion 4 года назад
are you sure this is southern railways I could have swore I saw empty seats normally you have to arm wrestle the pregnant woman for the seat and just stand there looking at the people who have seats and wonder how on earth they managed it and who you must kill/bribe to get one? It is nice to know that northern rail can call on CF to demonstrate his keeping to time table expertise and pass on his professional train driving skills to any who wish to advance their abilities[ to the next rail franchise to take over]
@shilohslim1893
@shilohslim1893 4 года назад
Eastbourne to Brighton's for kids - for the full Southern experience, go for the weekday 07h20 from Three Bridges to London Bridge on the Thameslink... *shudder*
@Biotic_Warlock
@Biotic_Warlock 4 года назад
This is an accurate depiction of Southern rail
@thelastpilot4582
@thelastpilot4582 4 года назад
Flight sims, Farm sims, Car and lorry sims all interface with external hardware but train sims don't. Moving analogue levers with keyboard keys takes away a lot of the reality for me. I have over 1079 hrs in TSW but it still infuriates me.
@papasmurfette007
@papasmurfette007 4 года назад
There are 3rd party programs (open source I think) that allow remapping joystick axes and buttons to keyboard commands, although they may be hit and miss. I know some have used flight controls with recent Train Simulator versions. I always envisioned using the 3-way quadrant installed sideways to operate throttle, train brake and engine brake. I couldn't find a saved bookmark, so you'll need to google it if interested...
@thelastpilot4582
@thelastpilot4582 4 года назад
Thanks I mentioned them to Matt (on Discord) he suggested they can go out of sinc, I believe I have looked but to be honest I did not entirely understand them.
@timternet6730
@timternet6730 4 года назад
3 Failures are good! Try 4 next time.
@mikefj2004
@mikefj2004 4 года назад
Enters station...(immediately applies emergency brake)
@diet1985
@diet1985 4 года назад
I was chuckling through out... Spot on!
@anthonypecoraro5472
@anthonypecoraro5472 4 года назад
Try driving with the keyboard, it’s easier. I think you were able to pass the signal because you used “reload last checkpoint” things like that cause a glitch where you can pass red signals without issue.
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
Easier!? Get on my power level!
@nialldub
@nialldub 4 года назад
Classic Failure, love it.
@Roe-se9nd
@Roe-se9nd 4 года назад
Your commentary is priceless.
@thedumgamer2046
@thedumgamer2046 4 года назад
oh god now i have southerntraindrivenbycolonel-phobia and i need to go on one tommorow
@ethanchernicoff5750
@ethanchernicoff5750 4 года назад
Can you do a purely passenger episode?
@breakcoregivesmewo0od611
@breakcoregivesmewo0od611 4 года назад
refreshing episode inbetween the other series! by the way did the multiplayer ever make the cut for this game? In September 2016, Dovetail Games announced Train Sim World, a new train simulator using Epic's Unreal Engine 4 and featuring a multiplayer as well as the ability to walk around in the world.
@Adam-zg7tw
@Adam-zg7tw 4 года назад
No multiplayer yet. They haven't ruled it out
@bb-3653
@bb-3653 4 года назад
Omgd, imagine this man was a real train driver 😭😭😭😭😭😭
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
You should be so lucky.
@TheDanc1nghawk
@TheDanc1nghawk 4 года назад
you make me terrified to ever take public transit
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
My work here is done.
@Xipheas
@Xipheas 4 года назад
Genuinely hilarious! Thanks.
@kirkfranklinboy1986
@kirkfranklinboy1986 4 года назад
AWS Amazon Web services LOL
@Slatd3
@Slatd3 4 года назад
When you got happen for problems doors then I out then I do close it but I forgot the brake train then train backwards themselves. I trying inside for driver 😂😂😂
@micktaylor9332
@micktaylor9332 4 года назад
?????
@iLied12
@iLied12 4 года назад
Can you try again?
@hi24x
@hi24x 4 года назад
Bombardier manufactured them from 2001 to 2003
@haydonsheard2168
@haydonsheard2168 4 года назад
It was actually manufactured up in till 2014 and then they converted their 375s and reclassified them 377/3 a three car formation
@Woden325
@Woden325 4 года назад
All aboard the Whiplash Special!
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
Not quite my tempo.
@paulhill8224
@paulhill8224 3 года назад
Great video
@WCML730
@WCML730 4 года назад
It's Ber Wick (Berwick) and its Glye nd (Glynde) (How to say it)
@earlofdoncaster5018
@earlofdoncaster5018 4 года назад
Do a steam train.
@radyab5977
@radyab5977 4 года назад
But aren't you a developer for dovetail Games who made TSW
@breakcoregivesmewo0od611
@breakcoregivesmewo0od611 4 года назад
i think in one of the livesteams he mentioned it was more on the pr/community mangement side then developing for dovetail
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
I do player research for them on a part time basis. If this video appears biased, that'd be why.
@fenixxark
@fenixxark 4 года назад
I laughed quite a bit
@sosig1341
@sosig1341 4 года назад
You sound a lot like Sam from the train simulator RU-vid channel
@colonelfailure
@colonelfailure 4 года назад
There's a really good reason for that...
@gerurban
@gerurban 4 года назад
Hello! Please tell me if there are free dlc for this game?
@chrisacworth
@chrisacworth 2 года назад
put your lights on
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