Spike Jones And His City Slickers - Carmen 

"He has eyes they're the cutest that I've ever seen" "One is blue and other one is green" "And the middle one is yellow"

Thank you for posting this in a clear, original mono transfer. The 1975 "Murdering the Classics" LP was in dreadful, murky re-channeled stereo. I think "Carmen" is Spike's best-ever record and it deserves to be rescued from obscurity and reissued properly. Thanks again.

Hello, music lovers, this is Spike Jones inviting you to come with us to the opera house for a City Slicker performance of the opera Carmen. The conductor ascends the podium, stamps his foot for attention - and from the basement he conducts the ouverture. As the curtain rises on act one, we see the outside of the Seville bubble gum factory. The happy bubble gum girls are singing: We're the girls, yes we're the girls that make the best bubble gum. Chew our gum, you'll never stop. All day long you'll pop and pop. You'll blow and blow, Until at last you blow your top. Carmen enters. She is a beautiful girl who weighs 300 pounds. She is supposed to fill out the role of the soprano. She not only fills it out, she overflows it. Carmen sings of her new sweetheart, Escapillow the Toreador. I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful man. She's in love with a wonderful man. And his name is Escapillow. He has eyes, they're the cutest that I've ever seen. One is blue and the other is green. And the middle one is yellow. When you go out and dance, does he hold you near? No, no, no! Well, does he whisper words of love in your ear? No, no, no! Does he enjoy peachypooh? Ah ah! What does this toreador do? All he likes to do is throw the bull. Does this toreador like to spark, when he's holding you close in the dark? No, no, no! No, no, no! No, no, no! No, no, nooooooooo! (Heeew!) [All I know?] is all he likes to do is throw the bull. Throw the bull? Throw the bull! Carmen hits a note so high that she cracks the record (click) the record (click) the record (click) the record (click) the record (click) the record ... And they're off for act two. Carmen sings the well known bravachi pizzicato poco allegro moderato from the third movement of the andante allegretto. Aahhhhhh! Exhausted she returns to her dressingroom. While she is resting, the soldiers march into town. We hear the band in the distance. Don Schmosé is in command. I'm the famous Don Schmosé, Army life is good, I say, But, oh, how I hate to march. 'Cause somebody soaked his shorts in starch. Now I'm gonna drill my men. Make them march from eight to ten. I'll make them march till they sweat. If we do, we're sure to get... Don Schmosé sees Carmen for the first time. She is crying. The tears are running down her ears. You see, her eyes are very far apart. He feels sorry for her, and ask her to marry him, as he sings: As he sings: Ahem, I said: As He Sings: NOW, YOU BONEHEAD! Carmen, darling, please marry me, Oh, be my little bumble bee. You're the honey that'll sweeten our lives. Instead of children we'll both have hives. They'll both have hives. I can not marry you, my Don, 'Cause I'm in love with another one. He fights the bull in the arena. I could do that if I ate Farina. Oh, no, you couldn't. Oh, yes, I could. Oh, no, you couldn't. Oh, yes, I could. Oh, no, you couldn't. Oh, yes, I could. Oh, no, you couldn't. Oh, yes, I could. The toreador's for me! Oh, no, that cannot be! The toreador's for meeeee! Oh, no, that cannot beeeee! The toreador's for me [??? ??? ??? ???] I love him so! Oh, no, eeeev eeeev (cough) She's right, Schmosé, the toreador's for her. The curtain goes up for act three. Aaaahhh. Oops, pulled it up too soon. Anyway, Carmen goes to the gypsy camp, to have her fortune told. The gypsy band finishes playing, and all the gypsies take off their earmuffs. Carmen finds an old gypsy, and asks him to tell her fortune. She wants to know, whos she's going to marry, Don Schmosé or Escapillow. Oh, Gypsy, will you look and see What future is in store for me. Give me your hand and keep it calm, and I will try and read your palm. This might sound odd and quite ridiculous, be careful with my palm, I'm ticklish. That does sound odd and quite ridiculous. Oh, yes, it's true, I'm very ticklish. I'm very very very very ticklish. I see by... Hahahahahaa. You soon will... Hahahahahaa. And you'll have... Hahahhahahaa. Or maybe even four or five. Then you will... Hahahahahaa. And he'll be... Hahahahahaa. Then what will... Hahahahahaa. It's really great to be alive. What did I... Heeheeheeheeheee. When will I... Heheheheheee. Or will he... Hahahahahaaa. You know something, you're ticklish, too. Hahaha Haa. Hahahahahaa. Heeheehee Heeheee. Hahahahahaa. Hehehe He he he. Hahahahahaa. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa. Ha ha ha heeheeheeheeee. Ho ho ho teeheeheeheeee. Ha ha ha teeheeheeheeee. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa. Ha ha ha heeheeheeheeee. Ho hohohoho teeheeheeheeee. Hahahaha teeheeheeheeee. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa. Ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha hahaha ha. Act three ends. Carmen exits to cure her hiccups, and the curtain comes down. Unfortunately it misses her. Carmen doesn't know which one to marry, Escapillow or Don Schmosé, so she writes a letter on her typewriter to Escapillow the Toreador, telling him of her plan. Here's what I've decided to do: There'll be a bullfight between you two. The bullfight will start at four, you will be the toreador. Don Schmosé will dress up so, he'll be the bull you'll try to throw. With the winner I'll spend my life, the loser gets some other wife. The finale takes place in a bullfighting arena. In one corner we have Escapillow the Toreador, weighing 240 pounds. In the other corner Don Schmosé, dressed up as the bull, weighing 32 pounds. And there's the bell for the first round. There's Don Schmosé he's dressed up as the bull. Now Escapillow gives his tail a pull. Escapillow's scared of being gored, So he takes out his sword. He prances, swing and sway at Don Schmosé Who's getting pretty bored. Don Schmosé goes back to his dressingroom. He decides to double-cross Escapillow by sending in a real bull, but Don Schmosé is nearsighted, and instead he sends in a cow. And there's the bell for round two. Escapillow drowns in the milk. He dies a grade A death. Don Schmosé wins Carmen, and as the final curtain comes down, they each put a piece of bubble gum in their mouths, and we see them chewing their way off into the distance.

Im another who's glad their parents had this in their collection, along with Stan Freberg, The Goon Show.

My dad had this on a 45RPM record and I started listening to it when i was 8 years old in about 1959. As it did then, it does now...just slays me. Today, there are many levels and nuances then there were then. Political incorrectness, in all its lovely permutations, comes to mind when we get our first description of Carmen, who not only fills the role but overflows it...a bit of midcentury fat shaming. I'm in the gypsy camp at the moment. Continuing to die a slow death, laughing all the way.

First heard this in high school. It simply. Has. Never. Left. And that gets embarrassing when you listen to the opera proper.

I loved this when i was younger

My Mom and Dad loved this stuff. This is what happens when you make music in a nuthouse.

My dad was a musician and we enjoyed listened to this often lol

Oh, this brings back so many wonderful memories with my 3 younger sisters! We used to re-enact this for our Mom and anyone else who was near ( we were pretty sure we saw our across-the-street neighbor watching through binoculars!)

im 24 and remembering hearing this for the first time when i was like 14 years old. my english wasnt that great back then and now i finally understand the humor behind it. This is golden

Ma che musicisti assolutamente eccezionali non solo Spike è eccezionale,e non li vedo solo lì sento ❤❤❤

Recorded on July 31 and August 1, 1949. Adapted from a radio performance earlier that year, written by Spike and Jay Sommers {he later created and co-wrote "GREEN ACRES" in the 1960's}.

Still top notch in December, 2022.

My dad had this record in his collection, something of a mystery since my dad was a music teacher and serious musician. Still, it's a great piece and I loved listening to it then, as a kid, and now.

Fun to see how many of us got exposed to this from our parents. Mom had the 45 RPM. Thanks Mom!

Awesome today. September 2021

Legend! 👍🏻🙏🏻

Ah, Spike Jones, the P. D. Q. Bach and "Weird" Al Yankovic of his time! My dad absolutely loved him and so do I.

Thank you for uploading this. I'm just getting into Spike Jones and heard about this. It's hilarious, I need to find a record of it.

parabéns lindas musicas de se ouvir

"Sir Frederick Gas" {Earl Bennett}.

Mi fa ridere da morire😊😊😊

Remember every word

I had the one in the picture [2x45]

3:33

6:19

Eckts Dee

My dad had this 78 when I was young. All of Spike Jones actually. Love it😂

4:44 - Wonderful! Super Troopers!

3:55

2:59