This episode is easily one of my favourites. It’s a very Buddhist perspective on life and I really enjoy that. Every emotion is important. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Really appreciate it. Keep going David! ✌🏼
What I realized is, I myself tend to want to self sabotage (i want to quit something i have going well to chase something that i think is happiness)... to unconsciously and yet consciously stay in the comfort zone. But as we all know, there is no growth in the comfort zone. There is no such life without suffering. Life will always have sufferring. In the end, if i chase what i think is happiness, will i truly be happy? Or again, am i just self sabotaging? Sometimes i want to quit what I have going well to do something i know will be super challenging, and i think will bring me more happiness, but am i willing to take the leap? Or is it all a mindset? No matter what, just have the mindset and gratitude to be happy no matter what. Idk til this day lol.
Lately, I've been feeling stuck. Work can feel monotonous, and it's tough not to compare my situation to those who are retired or have their own business. Their freedom sounds amazing! While I'm grateful for my house and a paid-off car, I would love more flexibility to pursue my interests and travel. Balancing work with taking care of my girlfriend also leaves little free time. Work's been draining lately, pushing me to explore new options. I started learning to code, but it's a steep learning curve. While a part of me wants to jump ship after ten years, the comfort of familiarity holds me back.
This is a video I definitely needed. I started my new job this week and I hate saying I don’t know. I’m butt ass new to this position but in my head I don’t want to seek advice, it’s like I’m bothering people. Anyway thanks for the video and congratulations on your marriage!
I'm always stuck somewhere between "chasing purpose," going after challenges to grow (most people seem to push for this option)...and just doing nothing. Like why can't I just be happy? Right now. There's no definition for it, right? So no chasing after it. No building to it. No achieving milestones. Just be happy now. I feel like the reason is because of the expectations. Other people are defining what happiness is "for themselves" because that's what they're told...and that's what they expect from everyone- so it's natural to put that on me too. I want boring. I want peace. Quiet. Same thing everyday. Stagnant? Sure. Call it whatever. Having no ambition is bad. No goals is bad. Not wanting to reach higher or further or better...that's all bad. But it's also what I want. Just peaceful quiet days. I don't want any more challenges.
i think a lot of people look at "chasing purpose" as this grandeur thing like "what do you want to be when you grow up" or "what do you plan to achieve to contribute to the world"? Sometimes purpose can be something small like just simply volunteering for the community, or helping a loved one with some chores, or even just reading to your kid. It doesn't have to be self improvement, that's just the answer David found for himself. It could also mean just giving back and expressing love and kindness whereever you go. Either way happiness is a fickle endeavour, and maybe what we think is "happiness" is just a means to an end, a mean to run from whatever pain we are currently experiencing. Either wa I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
This really hits home. I didn't realize it myself that I had always wanted to chase challenges rather than happiness itself. I didn't always make the right choices (and still don't think it's humanely possible), and that has caused some hurt with loved ones, my family. I love my family, but at times they can be too close-minded or think they have a say in what I should do. Yet, I find it hard to agree and have a desire to separate myself from the family unit because I honestly don't see myself growing with them. The thought of remaining comfortable and complacent made me feel empty and enslaved to others. But because I made my decisions, and as a young adult now, all I can say is that I don't regret them. Though in time, I hope to rebuild my relationship with my family despite the hardships.
Man the timing that this video came after I was reflecting on the struggles I had been through the last few years. I had those exact feelings when I was lost and trying to figure what the heck I wanted to do. I learned some really tough lessons during that time. I’m in better place now knowing what I want to do and what life I wanted to build for myself. Saying that you find fulfillment through the challenges was the cherry on top for me. One of the challenges for me would be picking up dance again . I have no plans to go professional but I do want to see how far I can go with it. Go through the ups and downs of it and experience it for myself. No matter what the results of it would be, I’d be satisfied knowing that I pursued until the end of my lifetime.
Man, I love you. I never really took it that way in your podcast. You always had a sense of realism and authenticity in the things you shared, and it’s one of the reasons that I always admired you. It always felt like you lived a hundred lives even in your “happy” shares. Going through something similar (actor here), gotta make some tough decisions and “take the leap” for my own wellbeing, and it’s been a rollercoaster. However, as I’ve been working on it, there’s this overwhelming sense of relief that has been surfacing. It’s been unexpectedly motivating and fuelling. People have left my life, but the right people have been entering it and teaching me so much. I view the world and my life very differently than when I was “chasing happiness”. There’s a newfound sense of hunger to learn, try, fail, and it is oddly accompanied by peace. You’re awesome. Solid episode.
This video is very comforting in a sense where I needed to hear something like this and it feels like I’m not alone. Desiring things or in this case “happiness” can cause suffering. It really reminds me of some Buddhist things I’ve been reading lately.
Thank you for this. I hella needed this. I’ve been so lost trying to find this “happiness” everyone talks about, searching for it outside of myself, external validation… only to realize no one can give me happiness but myself.
Thank you for this David truly, when you described waking up everyday feeling like a zombie is exactly how I’m living right now. These past couple weeks have been a big wake up call for me too, and I think the growth for me is about begin. I totally agree that challenging ourselves and seeking purpose is the essence of life.
After 30 something years on this earth I realized Im genuinely happy being home alone with my pets, just pursuing my various hobbies which at the moment are videography, fitness, making good coffee and sometimes baking. I don't care about being ambitious or having a normal and successful "career" anymore or fancy degrees. I realized no one gives af about that. I also only like hanging out with a few select people because being around them genuinely makes me feel good and happy, too. Everyone else is exhausting. 😩
I was thinking about how mature somwbody needs to be to admit that they don't know. I really enjoyed the point you made about the position of power with your father because it really reminded me about my current situation. A very thought provoking episode
It's not possible to feel happy forever. Happiness is an emotion and emotions are temporary. That's why people have to chase happiness because it comes and goes. I agree with you David that the key is to chase PURPOSE. Having a purpose and meaning to life will motivate you to get up in the morning and work hard at your craft. Personally, I find purpose through believing in God. I used to be an atheist and life was so empty. I kept chasing after things I thought would make me happy and it would always fade away. But believing in God gave me fulfillment like no other. I have to admit, I'm not happy all the time but I'm damn happier than I used to be and my lows are not as low. I feel content and that's all that matters. Thank you for this awesome video, David!
“Happiness comes and goes.” I resonate with that. Lately I’ve found happiness in the mundane and I wasn’t seeking it out, like a nice interaction at the grocery store or trying out a new dish at a restaurant
The path to REAL emotional intelligence is bumpy but rewarding. David Bartholomew So, you are doing the work!! 🥰 (Yes. I know that’s not his name. But he’s invited to the cookout, and black folks give everybody extra names 😆)
I’ve been listening to your podcast and RU-vid since about 2016, and I’ve always enjoyed being able to listen and see how I can make connections to my life in some of the things you talk about.
Hey David! I remember back to the old days of the Alexandra Wallace video and wanted to stop by and let you know that it's great to hear that you've been absolutly killin' it! Much love man and keep it up!
great topic brother. I've been following you for a really long time, almost 10 years if im not wrong. I have never been able to relate to anyone like I did to you man. thank you so much for creating content that kept me going through a lot of hard times. wish you all the best brother.
Amazing timing!! I needed to hear this; it's been less than 5 years since I started working after university, and the process has been difficult, especially given today's economy
@@VangKevinCatfish You seem to have an issue with your hand getting stuck to your face. You might want to stop hitting yourself. Though that is your problem, not mine.😏
I recently went through a change too i agree chasing happiness is only temporary. I often find myself waking up feeling lonely af or with no emotions even if it’s a good day I feel like I really got no purpose. It’s energy draining like what is true happiness if it only last a short minute.
Can you make a playlist for your solo pods please. They're soo insightful I just ike to go back and watch them when i need to. Also do you know that guy on instagram who does exercises for bad knees. Asking for a friend
brooo this is the most realistic video ever!!!! I wasn't prepared to grief. That was me for the last 5-6 years. 25:16. The challenges, whatever we all go through, we have to go through it. I love this video bro. Its suppose to be this way, but a lot of us are not susceptible to grief/depress/upset feelings and vibes. I grew as a person for the last 6 years. I went through the whole damn 9 yard line. From waking up without like dog crap, to now knowing that hey! I know what I am here on earth for :). I love this video man. Thank you so much.
[ I’m going to say what I have been for a while cuz I don’t want to burdened my friends] This EP hit a nail on the head in my life. Where his father and him butting head for David choses in life and how happens is empty glass, and by challenging yourself can make you happy. I’m an artist that is trying to put a foot in the door for myself in the manga industry in Japan as an American. And I have fear that the knowledge of me being American I be hated in the industry. By Japanese and international fan, the people who I went to school getting to do what they love while I’m still in the stalemate by trying to summit my first one shot. And I’m trying to ignore outside life and not compare to myself trying to finish a one shot. Knowing from people saying i have good ideas but need to polish before sending out to the world. I feel in stalemate with own life me being a mangaka is not my end goal but a journey that I want to create and tell stories from my experiences and interests. But I still feel fear that people my not read it and give me chances when I do finish my one shot. Sorry for long comments I just what to put it out in the ether.
I've been watching your growth for the past 10 years. I am really glad you continued to find yourself and find your sense of purpose with each trial and tribulation. It is such a good message I shared with those who would hear. ^^
Wowow David, you have come a long way. I gotta say i havent seen your videos in a while and I loved them (since you first started lol), if im being honest it would be when you made a video about trying to find what you like and makes you happy and that you were taking a break. So as someone who hasnt seen you for a while and sees you now, i say there is a huge difference. I see you at peace and happier. Im saying this because someone who sees you everyday may not see the big difference as to someone who hasnt for a while. You should do a ted talk 😅 Also you have a beautiful voice bro PLEASE PLEASE keep singing cuz you have a better voice than other artist i know 😅😅
I definitely needed this. I graduated college and I ain't got no damn energy or motivation. Money low etc. This whole follow your dreams and happiness wasn't working for me. This video really helped. Got me thinkin and shit. 😂
I watched u starting 4th grade. When your Alexandra wallace video came out. Now im at that same age you made it. Im in a position where i feel responsible for my parents but also my own happiness. Even if I dont listen to your advice fully or whatever. Its kinda comforting to hear you talk about this. I feel like im always running out of time. Even though im only 21. Im running out of time to be successful. Running out of time to better myself. Running out of time to be a better girlfriend and daughter. For people that are older than me, do you think i can afford to slow down and improve on myself t.t?
You definitely have a lot of time to slow down and improve on yourself. Almost twice your age and I definitely feel like I'm running out of time to be successful.
Real one bro!! What you have said is similar to what i went through. Honestly you said it soo well that it makes such sense. I honestly have so much respect for you and your homies. Keep doing you and would love to send you some of my tattoo shirts if your interested. Another asian brother from wisconsin lol.
Gah I love these episodes. I've been going about it wrong. I'm sure this will help, I'm going about it wrong but I have no reason to not believe that self improvement won't make me happy. Very happy you started with these series.
The Dunning-Kruger effect, the less you know the more confidence you have on a subject. In grad school rn and I realized that the smartest people say "I don't know" the most Also we like the solo podcasts too, different energy but just as entertaining
Let me answer that for you, David. People who can't say "I don't know"... yeah there's something in all of us that want to be helpful and stuff.. but in my case, if you say "I don't know", the first thing your family told you growing up is "what are you, an idiot?" even though there's no way in hell you would have come across that information at that point in life. My family...really fucked me with this and I had the hardest time saying "I don't know". Now I say it a bit too much because my husband is my safe space lol but I still can't say "I don't know" in front of my family...
hey david. thank you for posting this. Dr. Jordan Peterson has been saying the same thing and the way you had explained it perfectly exemplifies what he meant or was talking about. I'm glad that you had figured this out and now are in a better place because of it.
Damn David, the video you posted is very true to not just men but to some women as well. I loved the video, the topic it addresses and I hope you take the time to make some more solo videos like that because it's very interesting and enjoyable to see more of your videos like that, but don't get it twisted my dude, the group podcasts are awesome too! I wish I could join you or guest in your usual podcasts from one amateur host to a distinguished one such as yourself. I look forward to the next video! And I wish you good days and great days ahead! And i'll see you later!
David, I can honestly say I rarely ever comment on RU-vid videos. Why? Because I'm sure my comments will probably just get lost in the shuffle and may never be read.. but just in case, i just wanna say that I've been a fan since the first time my cousins showed me the UCLA vlog. And I've kinda been on and off youtube and social media throughout the years, but I have just recently in the past few years caught up to all your youtube videos and podcasts, (still working on Dudes Behind the Foods, sorry Tim 😅) and I've just got to say its amazing to see how far you've come and how much you have grown! You always want your favorite youtuber to make it, and mine sure as hell did!!!! I'm a couple years younger than you and honestly, the first part of the video I felt like I couldn't relate... but as you explained your thoughts more I had to stop the video halfway and comment (totally not trying to be dramatic lol) but u did it again! this is why i miss vlog David sometimes. Love what youre doing now, but do miss what you were doing then too. I think its more the one on ones, it just hits different. Thanks for this. For helping me realize that the way I'm feeling isnt crazy sometimes and that I'm not alone and it hopefully gets better. I'm at that zombie stage right now. But I'm hoping to get into a different field soon and challenge myself. It was hard to put the feelings I have into words and you've said it perfectly. Thanks David, dont worry your apology is accepted! lolol and hope to have a chance to meet ya one day if it ever happens. Keep doing what youre doing! ❤
I’m a Spotify listener and idk how it is here but…. DAVID GET SOME NEW SPONSORS GAAAA DAMN I DONT CARE ABOUT HERO BREAD! Once is fine twice is like ok cool understandable but 6 times I’m tired of hero bread and idc if you made a BLT sandwich. Usually I just stay quiet and lurk in the shadows but David get yo shit together and get some new sponsors.
And that’s the difference between you and the new adults these days, David. You were struggling, but you didn’t complain. All you see are videos of people complaining about how their life is these days. But not on one of those videos did I see those ppl actually grinding it out.
Maybe I missed it, if chasinging purpose gives you happiness, are you not still chasing happiness, just the updated version? Your dad probably wanted you to chase purpose by studying, but you found no happiness in it.
chasin purpose can give you happiness but as you chase purpose happiness isn’t the only emotion you feel. As you find purpose you will be sad, upset, angry, disappointed, and etc. purpose is rooted in understanding their a process and a plethora of trials and tribulations that comes with the process of growth. When you chase an emotion that is rooted in chaos, when you don’t feel said emotion, you can end up feeling lost. Happiness is relative and ever changing goal post that can set you up failure because constantly wanting to be happy has led me and many others feeling the opposite. It doesn’t give me a realistic depiction of life because you will never ALWAYS be happy. Just my opinion!
Really? I feel like the odd one cuz I say “I don’t know” all the time maybe because I grew up in a Japanese culture and so I know I wouldn’t know many actors and American jokes etc. And I BET I know stuff others don’t know and I feel shameful for asking them😂 which I know I shouldn’t.
