Another tip I learned for public speaking is that you save your final words to close the talk for *after questions.* That way you get to set the tone for how the event or talk ends. My question for you is: Do you have a video or tips on how to handle hostility or upset from someone in a meeting or talk? It's not that I encounter that often but it's something I've had to face in the past. It may not be a question asked in a hostile tone; it could even be more of a rhetorical question but the intent is to challenge a topic.
Hey Laya, such a gorgeous tip AND question. First, to the tip: I have learned to always save one awesome story to wrap up after a Q&A. Always ends on a high. To your question...I actually love a good conflict at the end of a talk haha. Wakes everybody else up and makes me feel like everybody is saying "oooooooo" in a middle school lunch room because a fight is about to break out, haha. In other words, you can be positive that you have everyone's attention! First, I tend to answer their question with a question back to them. And I make sure I ask it with heaps of love instead of the intent to "win." Something like, "Ooo, nice. I can tell you are wrestling quite a bit with this idea ... can I first ask your intent underlying your question, so I can best answer it?" Then, depending on the question, I will flip it to the audience by saying, "nice...anybody have any thoughts on this before I offer mine?" If you've built some rapport, the audience will do 95% of the "arguing" or case-making for you; thereby reviewing your content too haha. Bonus points 👍👍 Then, after all of that which may still only have been 2 minutes, I will offer my response and perspective. But the previous two steps are extremely disarming which primes that "critic" and everyone else to realllllly hear what I'm about to say.
@@chad.littlefield I really appreciate your answer. Wow. I love a good challenge when the question is a sincere grappling with the material because we can take a deeper dive toward understanding. Asking for the intent underlying the question is really brilliant for so many reasons. I've copied, pasted, and printed your answer so it will stay on my radar. Brilliant, thank you so much!!!
@@layasaul28 first printed hard copy of a comment! I'm honored, haha. Looking forward to being in conversation more. I may even have to feature our conversation in my upcoming newsletter 🙂
I saw this comment discussion in the newsletter today and came to read the whole thing. I agree, Chad: noteworthy and share-worthy stuff. I'm in full agreement with asking "with heaps of love" about intention. I'll add that this mindset of "with heaps of love" is something we have to have developed going into things. And that takes both practice and intentional mental preparation. If we get "thrown" by what appears to be hostility or upset or negativity, it can be hard to bring genuine kindness to the surface on the spot. But if it's already there on the surface going in, it's at the ready when needed. One last thought. I say "what appears to be" hostility, etc. because I don't believe it is always that. One thing I speak and write about often is this condensed piece of advice: "Focus on the person, not the problem." Someone who seems to be hostile in a group presentation, facilitation or discussion didn't wake up hating you. They came in with some stuff. You just touched on it. Maybe they've been feeling unappreciated. Maybe they've been feeling like there is too much expectation on them lately to change how they do things, and this feels like administration "yelling" through another speaker. Maybe they are older and feel devalued due to age, as if they are somehow not "relevant enough" to keep up with new schools of thought being introduced by "the younger generation"; and maybe that comes with fear. And, if we're lucky, maybe such comments or questions-while they may feel negative-are a sign of cognitive dissonance happening due to the day's thoughts. How wonderful that they could then voice that, however it comes out, because it just may be the first step toward true change for them. No matter the case, it's almost certain that a person who has just introduced such a challenge will be able to clearly identify and name these sorts of underlying causes as part of their intention in asking. But it is up to us as speakers to go in with empathy and to "wonder the best instead of thinking the worst."
Chad: I love this approach and I really enjoyed your ending from that "Chad the early years" TED Talk. I just came off a pretty challenging 4 hour presentation full of Financial Consultants that that had just come off planes and many were frazzled from delayed flights and several people came in and out from alternate sessions. I guessed that they were not going to be real responsive at the end and I still had 5 "Ask Powerful Questions" books to give away! I utilized the L.E.A.R.N model (What did you "like", What "Excited" you about your experience, What created "Anxiety" for you, What was most "Rewarding" and what will you do "Next" as a result of what you have experienced today.) It stimulated a few very meaningful comments and allowed us to end on a very positive note.
Lovely! Fun and fast sequence to debrief some learning and invite the group into the present moment to CHOOSE to remember something. Because to a degree, remembering something can actually be a deliberate choice. Sometimes we (and me) forget that.
I try to AVOID the " Any Questions" at all during my work. I strongly prefer the "What questions do you have for me?" - it is INVITING them to have a question and share it. But I do love the idea of 12 seconds to formulate a question as another option! Thanks so much!
So true Chad! I see this happen so often (in-person and online) - the speaker simply doesn't give enough time for people to process questions, answers, etc. I think that when we present we feel that those few seconds of silence are enough but like you said, people have barely had time to digest much less come up with a good question I also like it when speakers suggest initially & remind audience to jot down questions/comments along the way that will be discussed. Great tips & I appreciate the book rec for "Made to Stick". Reminds me of another great book, Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning.
Yes, Tatiana! Inviting folks to jot down questions along the way is great. It would also be 5x more effective if you scheduled in 3, 30-second "Question Commercial Breaks" throughout where you simply paused, so folks could "notice, wonder, and inquire" by writing a question down. Then continue. By the end, you'll have a bank of great questions from throughout the presentation! 👍👍
Fantastic! My coachees are finance folks and I’ve struggled with helping them figure out how to close effectively. I’ll show them your video!! They also used to close with a useless and perfectly habitual “Thank you for the attention” --> Double buzz kill!
That is a monstrous buzz kill. You want to REALLY push them into new territory, get them to end in a crazy way like this: (see ending) ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pyWrZceeKNE.html That was even a stretch for me the first time I did it nearly 10 years ago.
Great video Chad! Over the last few years I have been having wonderful success with offering moments of silent reflection prior to any group discussions! The responses are often so much richer when we give folks time to process.
YOU are welcome my friend. I'm listening to the book, Questions are the Answer right now as well. Lovely read about how questions create breakthroughs in thinking. It's a good compliment to Ask Powerful Questions. I'll have to setup a video interview with the other at some point.
I love this idea. At my work site we often asked participants to write down their next most powerful step? Asking them to think about how they may apply what they have learnt to their work place; this maybe a task or even a question. Everyone is provided an opportunity to share at the end of the session as part of our circle check out. My question re: today's video, if we task everyone to think of a question then ask "Any questions?" .... if everyone doesn't have the opportunity to have their question heard are we minimizing the rationale behind :asking the question?" Just a thought.
Love that. Hmm. Really good thought...I typically phrase it that I am aiming to harvest the groups' collective curiosity, so I can speak to the theme of what people are asking about rather than chase down each and every rabbit hole. But I do think it is essential to leave people feeling that their question was heard even if it didn't get answered live. Personally, for all my clients, I actually send a follow-up email with hyperlinks/videos/resources to most of the questions that I didn't get a chance to respond to. Obviously in a group of 100+, this doesn't catch everyone, but it does a decent job of covering the high majority of folks.
Funny. It is a mic pack. Although my wife who is a school nurse and worked with many kiddos, pumps, Dexcoms and more would appreciate your question. Thanks for asking. What sparked your curiosity?
Love list: • The 100% you-ness. • You always build curiosity from the outset. (What is he writing? I only see part of it... etc.) • You incorporate mistakes instead of aiming for perfection with do-overs. (See Point #1 above.) This allows real people to relate, because real people are imperfect; yet they are experiencing first hand that true engagement and successful communication can happen in spite of-even because of-imperfections (i.e., going with the flow and taking oneself a little less seriously). As a life-long perfectionist, this helps me every time. As to your topic of asking "Any questions?" at the end of a presentation, etc., I can also offer some other reasons people may not engage that way: • There is a fear (esp. in smaller groups) of the awkwardness of possibly raising your hand at the same time as someone else does. As silly as this may seem on the surface, it's true. • If there is not adequate time left to ask a question and get a thoughtful answer, most people won't bother. (So leaving more time for Q&A will invite more Q.) • If it's perceived that there isn't enough time for everyone's questions, many people won't ask because they feel like doing so would "take away someone else's chance to ask." • If there is not adequate time left to ask a question before the established end time of an event (as you put it, while people are zipping backpacks and moving to leave), asking may draw awkward attention from others who may feel they are expected to stay for the answer. And no one wants to be "that guy" (or girl or nonbinary person). In addition to what you offered here, then, it can be effective to invite the pause to think of questions and then addressing some of those questions at regular intervals where possible rather than only in the last five minutes.
Erik, thanks for the deep thought. You 100% earn a high-five for the meatiest, most thoughtful RU-vid comments to surface on the internet. I actually think it would be a reallllyyyyy fun and interesting book or ebook for you to publish where you just share your commentary-like this-as the text of the book. And at the top of the chapter could be a link/QR code to the piece of content or media that you are responding too. It would genuinely be an interesting read.
Well, it's in "the machine" now, so my brain will not be able to help but to process this idea. Thanks for suggesting it. I'm curious to see where it goes from here.
@Chad Do you find that chunking presentations up and asking "Do you have any questions on what I just covered?" to work? Or before we move on is there anything I can help clarify? Or was there anything we just covered that struck you as interesting? Taking a break during the presentation to engage the audience throughout instead of waiting till the end. Curious on your thoughts Chad.
Beautiful question! That is definitely better. Still, asking "any questions?" is much less powerful (in my humble opinion) then pausing and saying "okay, I'd love for everybody to generate a question about what they've heard so far. You don't need to ask it, but take the next 30 seconds to come up with a question." With an engaged, present group, you can usually get away with "any questions" but the level of depth and thought will go up if you try the strategy above. Mark, you may also really love this video on how to make a PowerPoint interactive: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-nWvCvnOZNn4.html
