STOP; This is a Mental Health Checkpoint 

From the UK with clinical depression, 10 years. This month, June is my biggest trigger losing my Mum a decade ago. Finding it harder than normal. Mental health issues suck. Love to you AJ and all your subscribers fighting the fight xxx.

The most badass thing a metal dude can do is talk about there feelings and seek help from others. Love this video AJ its just cool hearing that someone I look up to talking about things I relate too

I've lived with clinical depression since i was diagnosed at 11 years old. I was born into the middle of my parents lives falling apart. I grew up in a very loud, violent, and abusive household. My mom would beat me to make herself feel better. My dad would mentally play games and made me believe that he was the only important person in my life. Neither one of them are in my life anymore. Some days are fine. Some are not. The only thing keeping me going is my wife. If I took myself out, it would destroy her. I can't do that to another person. I refuse to do what has been done to me, to someone else. So I continue to suffer. I will continue to cope, ignore, and suppress. Until the end.

I'm 27, and I've had depression for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I didn't understand it. I just knew I didn't like how I was feeling. Hollow inside, emotionless, had no desire to take care of myself or anything around me, didn't want to be with or talk to anyone.... it took until I was 23 for it to click that I've had depression my entire life. The way you summed it up at the start is true for me as well; "I'm not sad, I'm depressed." I just feel hollow, and have no desire or happiness; and what happiness I rarely feel is very fleeting. I don't feel sad. I feel nothing.

I was almost there, a few months ago, actually thinking to ending it all, but I luckily had a really good psychologist, so I'm still here. Thank you for letting it out for everybody to hear.

Much love AJ would love some more mental health check-in streams in the future!

Honestly this was a great conversation to have. I don’t think it’s a coincidence That I found this live because I was just speaking about this yesterday. How literally every person in this world is gonna eventually be 6feet deep, never to return again. Addictions and child hood trauma really can ruin the joy that life can bring. Thank you for sharing brotha!

Mental health checkup? May i vent.. Well lets see, no im not alright anymore, i’ve watched friends kill themselves, i tried stopping them and they wouldn’t listen. I lost my grandma in 2018 and it was the biggest lost i had.. Ive recently lost in 2023 of late july my grandpa, who i loved to death. Fast forward to a few months in october, i lost my cousin, he was hit off his motorcycle at a stop sign. Fast forward again and i lost my neighbor in july. A couple months after i lost a neighbor again. Now this time, a month ago i had lost my uncle and it has been the hardest in my life. I am constantly on the edge of suicide, i have been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, depression and PTSD, i am not alright anymore. Everyday i hope to never wake up but i have to cause my other grandma is still alive and i made her a promise. But other than that, i am a very depressed guy who cant even find people to vent too cause they’ll block me. Im done venting, i hope you all don’t struggle with what im struggling with. Love you guys/girls, and thanks for letting me vent.

I struggle with anxiety and depression and have since I was a kid. Stay strong guys. Control the things you are able to, and it gets a lot better.

Big topic. Thank you for sharing. Huge difference between sadness and depression. I’m sure you touched a lot of people with this video!

I feel you bro. There were times I was extremely depressed and kind of just wanted to end it but was always too scared to do so, and because I realized the few good things I had in my life were worth living for. Nowadays I just suffer from severe anxiety, too afraid to even see family members these days. And its not so much not wanting to live for me its more a case of just not wanting to exist at this point in time of my life. Wish I could just be cryogenically frozen and be woken up 50 years from now sort of thing. I think you did a good job of explaining how you feel and I think there are many people who can relate to you. Big up AJ

4 years ago I was living my life day by day not doing anything. ( only working keeping things at float but not thinking about my future ) and all of a sudden I woke up and realized that I don’t only need to dream about something, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT AND MAKE IT HAPPEN, fast forward up until today and I have a beautiful girlfriend, we bought our own house, completed most of the things that I wanted to do. But right now I am the most depressed , tired and emotionless that I have ever been. You have just explained to me exactly what I need to hear, I feel depressed but not sad…… I can relate so much with this sentiment, nothing bad is happening in my life and I have achieved everything that I put my mind on, but still is not helping with my depression, but I know that eventually this depression will pass just like yours AJ . By the way you have been one of my inspiration throughout my life changing process, keep your chin up man ,and I know that most of us here that have seen you grow for years…. we are very proud of you…. It has been a pleasure watch you and your content grow..🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

Man. Lot to unpack here 1. Narcissists definitely don’t admit depression 2. Life is hard as hell…happy or not, it’s hard 3. Death is so hard to wrap your head around 4. Friend is such a strong word….i mentioned to you that I have no friends, and while that’s not completely accurate, it’s close to it, and by choice. I dont waste my time on selfish people and people are 99% selfish in my experience. My friends now are RU-vid connections, probably best since they are in other states and thus harder to be disappointed by. 5. Your mom nailed it. I’m so different at 43 than I was in my 30s, 20s etc….yet still a lot the same. Bottom line though is life keeps getting better, and a lot of that is due to subtraction rather than adding people in my life. I’m super particular of who is good for me, and being honest about “am I able to be a good friend to this person?” The right people mean everything, but you are the FIRST right person. 6. The right people pick up where you left off and never expect anything except for you to also pick up where you left off. Sorry for all the thoughts. Just had to respond as the video went, as I’m very appreciative of what you do and appreciative of you just talking to your audience about what’s on your mind Great stuff

I really admire that you took the time to talk about such an important topic - thank you

Dang dude, I needed this video.. been going through a lot of the same thing and I don’t know why

Thank you for keeping it real AJ! There are a lot of people who are in the same boat you are in and its very therapeutic to speak about it and hear how other people are handeling the situation, their perspectives, and advice they have been hearing/following. I love watching your content and look forward to more amazing stuff in the future! Stay strong everyone!

People dont realize you can have it all and more and still not see the light. Be held in the grip of darkness. Never give up and never go down without a fight.

genuinely hope this isnt cliche, but thank you so much for doing this, talking about the difference between sadness and depression helped me have a self realization moment that i really needed... love you man and im so proud of you for continuing to grow in so many ways, im a new fan so its cool to be a part of this community now, thanks a lot 🖤

I have tried to tell people the same thing. I'm not sad or grumpy I'm depressed. I love my life and have alot going for me. But still feel beet down day to day!! It gives me some relief that someone elce feels the same way. Thank you Aj.

I wish I was able to watch this live on stream but I was too damn busy. But this video has helped me a lot. I just graduated high school and my life just has been 1000× times stressful for every reason imaginable which sucks major ass. And it sucks as it's hard for me to find someone to talk to, as I'm starting to question if my freinds are really "freinds". As I feel like these last couple months I've needed to make new freinds I can actually trust. Thing is though is that I have no clue how to even find someone I can trust. I'm hoping a lot of the mental and physical problems I've been having at least turn out to be somewhat better. But I wanted to say that you also Inspire me to make sure to be myself and who I really want to be, and that I should let me peers control me. And I just wanna say thanks for that since it is really hard to find real people in this scene of these "tough" and "strong" metalheads and other dickheads in the scene

Really appreciate you sharing and opening up about your own experience dude. Also experiencing some mental health issues and it really does help too almost have a chill conversation about it.

AJ, dude. Feel ya 100%. This is just what I needed to see today after work.

I’ve also struggled with the same complex. Not necessarily that I wish I wasn’t born, but that it’s difficult for me to comprehend the fact that I’m here now, and one day I’m not gonna be here. Just so bizarre. This was a really cool vid, glad you did this.

thank you for this video sir

For me it started with adhd. Left it untreated till now and on the 28th I’m finally getting seen for it. I can tell you as someone who has clinical depression and anxiety that it’s just something that’s just there. Our brains aren’t being fed enough of one thing that we need and that leads to imbalance. You can deal with it better by having a fun life and distracting yourself from it, but for me I’m just smoking it away and I know I can’t do this forever so that’s why I’m trying to get professional help. Try to distract yourself as much as you can because the bottom of this pool is far more colder and darker then anything in this world. One last thing, it’s alot more depressing to know that it will never naturally go away on its own . Maybe it will years down the line but for me I don’t have years to wait through it anymore. I have to act no before I completely ruin my life, so just try to stay away from the fact that this will never just pass. Those reminders honestly make it worse but that’s just me, every last one of us is completely different. Just try to stay having fun and remember the family and friends you got and how strong we are for putting up with this bs every day.

I've suffered with clinical depression for probably over 10 years now, have a panic disorder from losing my mom to suicide, and have been struggling finding a direction in life and working because I have ASD. I actually discovered your channel while on a leave of absence from work because I started having heart problems due to how much stress I was going through. I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess you or anyone else can take solace in knowing shit sucks over my way too. \m/ Also big respect for defending Alex, its much easier to hate someone than try to understand who they are and what they have been through.

I can relate and your not alone AJ! If you put your current passions aside, (in addition to) what is one thing you want to focus on? Go get it and work towards that goal. Travel? 🧳 Lego? (House of Masks Set) Goosebumps lego set?

Thank you for being so open about this topic on this video. I have never understood the fact of me being depressed but not sad. I always found it very irritating about myself. I've been on 10 different combinations of medications that doctors have put me on as well as 3 different therapists and nothing helped so I just always thought something was wrong with me. You're such a genuine person. Keep doing what you're doing, dude. You'll have the right people by your side at the end of the day.

I appreciate you opening the space for this type of conversation. Big step for people to be more honest with themselves and each other. Way to be.

I'm in a weird position where I've never been diagnosed with anything, but sometimes seemingly out of nowhere I'll just fall into depressions, sometimes it's hours sometimes it's days, a few times a week or more. Sometimes I just snap out of it. I don't know if that's normal or an actual condition. When it happens I'm convinced it's some sort of disorder. But in the times that I'm "normal", I have doubts that there was ever anything wrong in the first place. And hearing other people's stories makes me feel bad that I'd ever even claim to be depressed, like I don't have the right to be. Why do I think I need to earn my depression? -Just rambling

Ive brought up stuff in the past(with my divorce and loss of my chilldren). Wasnt recognized. Not gonna dwell.. Not gonna play, as if i need reinforcement, as i sooo need it. Shit happens but i have faith in my own feelings and beliefs of whats good in life. I am who i am, and thats all i can be. We all want to know the impossible answer.. why are you here?.. We're not supposed to know this early. Its wisdom.. Wisdom are the tools of life handed down from our elders whoch should be cherished. Just understanding this is wisdom... Its like a portfolio of tools that keep growing. I always say "The day we stop learning is the day we die".

I've definitely been in the brink of wanting not to exist and fearing what might come after life. It really is an odd and stressful feeling with your mind pondering and weighing the options and never finding an answer.

Man, I really appreciate you being so open and real. This was very therapeutic. Thank you.

"People change and nobody has to be the bad guy" this is a lesson that most people never learn. Good on your for being so insightful and aware, man. Thats impressive.

Mental Health is a very important thing to be focusing on & I see a lot of people sharing their stories in the comments which definitely shows we are not alone at all which is very good to hear. Also I agree with you 100% about Reddit & how it's such an awful place filled with awful shitty human beings. I've always hated Reddit because I knew it's a cesspool that reeks of narcissism & toxicity. We all love you Aj & we mean it with the kindness of our hearts. Stay positive & stay strong my friend.

I love you AJ, watching your stuff always puts me in a better mood. I hope you know that you have so many damn people that love you because you are amazing my guy. Keep your head up brother❤️

I was depressed for a long time. For starters my mother and father were crack addicts and my dad was a criminal. My dad was super abusive to our family and eventually my mom called the police and all 5 of my brothers and I were separated into foster homes when I was 4 or 5 years old. When I was 9 I was placed into a huge group home for kids with a few of my other brothers. Growing up poor and without any parental guidance fucked me up for life. I was put on medication at the age of 10. I imancipated at 18 and tried to live on my own without any help or money. I found a job and an apartment but I kept getting panic attacks at work and I would have to go home. I dreaded going to work and eventually I just stopped going and went into a downward spiral. Luckily I applied for a program for housing and it was much better but the people who lived there were awful. 18 to 21 years olds doing all sorts of drugs drinking and smoking weed and parties everynight. I smoked a joint laced with something and I lost my already medicated fragile mind and ended up trying to kill someone and they turning the knife on myself. Then I was taken to a mental hospital where I stayed for 3 days. I got out and lived in a homeless shelter for 30 days before my one of my brothers reached out to me. I live with him now at a halfway house with other people who have mental illnesses. I've been here since 2013. I have since gotten a bit more stable but I have a lot of problems still. Like I hear voices and I see things that aren't there, I have mood swings and I am an extremely anxious person. The meds help but overall I'm just grateful because things could be a lot worse. My depression eventually went away too, idk how tbh. It was like one day a veil was lifted and I could see clearly for the first time. It was strange but I think it happened gradually.

Great video/stream dude! Its great to talk about these things man

Coming from an individual who deals with manic depression on a daily basis , This was very outspoken of you AJ , nothing wrong with venting to the world. We all need to be heard from time to time much clown love headed your way. 🪓🖤

Thank you for being so open about mental health and all the situations, good and bad. We all go through it, and the first step is to talk about these things. Wish more people were more open about mental health. Much love from Pennsylvania. Thank you, AJ 🖤

I 100% understand you.

Hello AJ, look man, I'm not really good with words, English isn't even my first language, so I gonna be straight to the point. Listening to you was a really good way to organise my thoughts and shit, so thank you for this video. Nothing but positive vibes and love for you pal.

Hey AJ! Just wanna say that I admire all the stuff you do and understand the way you feel. I enjoy life a lot but also wish I could put everything on hold.

AJ thank you for being real like this. And having the courage to broadcast this. Men are sometimes too afraid to speak like this and it sucks.

All of it makes sense to me. Especially the seconds of going off topic, and ,"oh wait, huhhh?!" Moments of losing track of the moment. Definitely. The parts that hit home was basically getting to know your heroes . The descriptions of sadness vs depression as well. I could pick apart everything else you said until the end of time ,because that's how minds work. Keep your head up. It helps me sometimes. ThAnks for everything you do.

I struggled with depression for many years and death anxiety just within the past few years. It is truly debilitating. Through therapy, I learned to train my brain to block negative thought patterns and accept I have zero control. Also, not caring about what anyone else thinks except the ones you love was a major change.

Ive been depressed for quite some time. Its been the worst its been the last few months. Your videos have always helped me through tough times. So in that, thank you for all you do!

You are a good person.Others see that.Keep up with what your doing....searching...you will find your answers...May God an the spirits bless ya brother🙏🏽

Man, this is refreshing and important. The overuse and thus wear of actual clinical psychiatric terminology is really muddying the waters and making it harder for people to identify and efficiently treat their mental health problems, but it's nice to hear someone know what they are talking about. It's good you did therapy, even if you felt it wasn't for you, which is fine, but it speaks to your determination to a pursuit of happiness. And, honestly, you seem to have a reflected, accepting, maybe often dark, but humorous outlook on life and for just one person out there watching this and arriving at those same realizations you reflected upon, it's great you put up a video like this.

Hey AJ. Firstly, much love from the UK. Whilst I don't have clinical depression, in 2019 I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder following an attempt on my life. 2 months ago, my close dear friend lost her battle with her demons and its hard. It's so bloody hard. But, we all have a purpose. Our very existence, no matter how painful it may be, is a flag in the sand. We are story tellers. We are superheroes each and every one of us. We are all beautifully strange, odd, and tired, but one thing truly seperates us from those "normies" and it's a powerful gift. We are empathetic to those out there that feel like we do. Society at large leaves us by the wayside, but we never do. Just like in the pit, when someone falls, what do we do? Exactly. The battle will forever rage on I won't lie, but it's our personal experience with it, that when shared, will help provide valuable fire support to our brothers and sisters out there. For everyone here in the thick of it, always know, that you are the best of humanity simply because you have a heart that acknowledges its feelings. The sun tomorrow will rise again and I want to be able to experience that with you, wherever we may be. Stay strong, keep taking potshots at those dogs, and really lean into what you enjoy. You matter, and I will fight the bitch that says otherwise. This is a family that will forever welcome you at the table. You're never going to go through this alone. I promise you that.

I appreciate this video man...as tumultuous as times like these are, real life or the interzones...it's cool to hear someone speak of subjects that actually need to be addressed. Whether it's you, Ronnie or whomever I just wanted to say hey. Cheers man and much love ❤🤘🔥🤘

It is men's health month and it's Super Freaking METAL to talk about the hard stuff! I gotta say AJ I've been following your content since the pandemic and I keep coming back because you're just an all around awesome dude. You've reignited my passion for the spooky stuff. I bought a Micheal Myers mask because of you. I've made it a tradition to buy a new one every spooky season. Keep up the great work AJ. Much love from California! 🤘😎🤘

Thank you so much for this video and every other video but this one really hit hard and helped my day, I've been going through alot lately so again thank you! ❤... On another note I'm a 44 year old mom with a 21 almost 22 year old son and he's not been around much in the past 3 years its been really rough dealing with all that separation anxiety is very bad thing to be dealing with so yet again thank you for being on the Internet and doing everything that you do for us so we are not alone in the world ❤

Thanks for sharing this with us, AJ. I think videos like this are important. Putting depression into words is frustrating as fuck. Trying to explain it to people who don't have it/feel it is almost just as frustrating as depression itself. Genuine narcissism is also annoying. People who have it are insufferable and will never acknowledge how anyone could think they're insufferable.

When I bring up ‘chemical imbalance’ to people they roll their eyes. Thank you for mentioning that. From a fellow person with imbalance of chemicals ❤️

I just wanted to say Thank you for sharing this. The ‘realization’ has been stuck with me after I left situations where I was just so focused on “survival” mode. You already know this by now cause I’m just a broken record but I like to be transparent. Being diagnosed with major depressive disorder and ptsd during lockdown. Gave me closure and I’ve ironically have been the happiest I’ve been in my entire life these past months. However, I still have my bad days. Just because you have those bad days doesn’t make you ungrateful for the life you’ve build for yourself. You did that shit while going through obstacles and to me that’s strength. Those who’ve called you a narcissist , or a mean person is just simply self projecting. Abusive individuals loveeee manipulating those who are there by their side. Because if they’re not happy than no one else can. (Self Sabotaging) It took a 3rd point of view for me to go from “What am I doing to be treated like this?” to “What’s missing in the other person for them to be this repulsive?” The realization woke something in me and I’m forever grateful that its happened cause I value life way more than I ever did before. Once again, thanks for sharing. You’re seriously a breathe of fresh air during these ret*rded times on the internet.

yo dude. it takes so much courage to talk about this. you are a real one.

What a relatable video. Thanks aj

Totally relate to this vid.🙏🏾

appreciate you for making this video man🙏

Much love AJ I actually struggle day to day with the same shit brother.

It's been rough, I won't lie. I recently just broke it off with my fiancée due to some irreparable differences, and it's been weighing heavy on me. Aside from that, I feel as if im unable to keep any friendships due to just my nature of not wanting anyone to get close, which is amplified now after the split between me and her. A lot of friends say they understand, and that they're here, but the demons so to speak convince me that it's all a lie. No medication has seemed to work, and sometimes I'm wondering if I'm better off gone. I know some other comments have a happier type of ending, but right now the future is one gray area. I'm not sure how long I'll be around as of writing, and that's a pretty scary thought. Especially with how down everything has bern lately. All I can say for sure is that I wish everyone else the happiness that I can't really seem to obtain. Take care.

Best checkup I have ever seen, thanks AJ

love you dude. 🖤

Thank you for this video, AJ. Some jumbled thoughts: i also have Depression, chronic illness and all that BS. Toss in some ADHD and its a strange combo. I'm just trying to go day by day. It's true though, definitely did not ask to be here 😂 and depression doesn't make a lot of sense bc of the fun things and stuff I've experienced. People grow and change, another great point. You're a good fucking person. No your standards are perfectly normal. People change/relationships change. The human experience is a fucking roller coaster TBH 😅❤ these videos are really important to us. We need this honest connection as humans. Also love your stuff and masks. Hopefully see your place one day. Fucking cool shit

Hey AJ, I just want to say that you are not alone in this, I sometimes feel sad too, but I don't let any of my demons control my life. Also, I get a burn out too when I try to find something to film for my channel. So let me give you some advice. Don't give up & keep fighting you are an inspiration to many, including myself. I can't wait to see where you go from here and thank you for talking about this.

Keep being your true authentic self AJ. Not everyone will resonate with you and that's ok. Focus on the ones that do and appreciate you. Don't let haters cloud your mind. Use them as fuel to keep you going. You're an inspiration to many and you've showed us what it takes to make dreams happen. Great video and thanks for sharing your thoughts and advice. Take care.

You know it's interesting... I'll be 6 years sober, not a drop of alcohol in January next year... And I'm grateful for it... But it definitely doesn't make everything better immediately... I would consider alcohol a blanket... That would cover me when I would need to be around big groups... or to feel "normal" But to rebuild yourself each day one at a time... Is a blessing... And in that blessing, you heal. 🔥🔥🥀🥀🌹🥀🥀🔥🔥 Happy Father's Day to all the fathers in the house of masks fam... And screw the haters AJ 🔥🤘🔥

Well its so good you brought this up because i absolutely agree and ived been believing the same thing for years. Im no longer sad. I am proud to say i have changed Not really entirely but mostly when it comes to happiness. Especially back then. But now even though i am happy. I came to realize i think some things cant change or be removed. I don't wanna confirm i am depressed. But i have this knocking at the back of my mind that i will be again. Or im not sure.. Im just really happy checking you out again at this wonderful day off of mine. And this is the content i have watched from you To this day some of your words, influence, and perspective on things and arts. i still think of you most days even i dont watch most of your videos unlike my younger and jobless days. Although i no longer religiously watch and rewatch your contents. I want to remind you. You are a huge inspiration and the world would have a huge loss if you disappear. Maybe not the world. But i believe the real world is the people we look up to and love Please stay strong AJ. You look so different now. And you think different too. Or maybe you always were but im happy as well you show this type of side of you more. I HATE AJ GOOD 🖤

Fight the good fight and keep making a positive difference at the end of the day brother!!!!!!

You're a good person dude. The fact that you're trying to better yourself each day says alot. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be fine. I do recommend trying Jiu Jitsu. 😅 Changed my life completely

Hey AJ, love the channel, I try and catch all your videos when they drop. I’m in the UK so don’t get to see many of your live streams but caught the end of this one then rewatched the whole thing. I have to say as someone who frequently wants to un-alive themselves watching this video really spoke to me, I totally understand the I’m not sad I’m depressed thing you said and that is such a great way of explaining how I have felt for years. Anyway just wanted to pop in and show my support from across the pond. Keep doing what you’re doing, fuck the haters and most importantly stay alive 🤟🏻.

You're not alone brother

Honestly, I gave up on everything. At this point, I just let life take me wherever the fuck life wants me to go but at the same I personally hate what is turning out to me. I’ve had nothing but failures so i gave up on it all. I honestly hate my skin.

Very relieving to hear someone else say what I think everyday. I didn’t ask to be here I don’t wanna be alive, but too scared to die. Boils down to just wishing you wouldn’t wake up. Fucking sucks. Depression vs sadness is a great perspective and I try to remind myself of it daily. I have a great family, relationship, bands, collections, pets. I’m 26. Why do I feel this??

Thank you aj. 🌏👐

Its been a while i have not watched you bro.. ived been a fan since i was 18 or 19 Im 22 now. And ived been very busy especially at work. And im happy this is the first video that i encounter when i finally have time to check you out

Always cool to discuss things that are beyond the masks

"The worst band in the world has fans, and the best band in the world has haters." Just enjoy the life you have buddy. 😎👍

It makes perfect sense. I wake up everyday like fuck again really

A thought while listening to your Alex Terrible segment... People bash on others and hate on them, demanding them to change. But then when people make those changes for the better and grow, the people crying for change still want to hate and dredge up the past. Ultimately I think those people just love to hate. But what do I know - I'm just an idiot on the internet

every girl ive dated says the same shit " he was abusive" Translation he got pissed when she didnt respect boundaries. these trendy terms are nothing more than ways people deflect accountability on their end

Use your Sundays to film a new thing for your content collection. Speak on horror movie mask. One mask at a time. You can also speak on a song that you dig most. One song at a time. I’d watch and listen.

Dude you got me with the Chad Gray joke. 😂

It's a big move to even do this dewd just as a man we taught to not talk about shit like this and just keep goin . I'm 42 and just recently realized it's ok to talk about shit and try to figure out why my brain wants death but my heart don't. Much love from the bayou dweller

I am almost 50 years on this planet. Been the same feelings my entire life as well, hope you figure it out. I am still trying to this day, it is no easy task budz...

Mental health is the most important facet for a long, healthy life. There are many other contributing variables, but I believe the mental to be the most important one above all. You're a cool ass dude. You make awesome fun videos. And I bet there's a lot of kids and adults that watch your stuff who probably look up to you man. Thats something to be proud of. Keep up the fine work. I hope to see the mask room in person one day, seriously.

Bro, your soul did want to be here. That's why you are here. You just can't remember that life right now here in the physical world. You can pull yourself out of any situation. Just do it! Oh, and coming from a certified Narcissist, if you are, own it. 24:16 Friends are overrated and can hold you back, they can also help but don't let anyone hold you back from focusing on your work, which you enjoy. 30:30 I hated Sundays too, for years! I'm hearing so many similarities between us in the work ethic and other stuff, it's a little crazy. I have a lot of advice for you, maybe one day I can give it. 👊

Bro we only get one life and everything in life is temporary including life itself. Who knows what's next or even what this is. All we know is that we have to make the best with what we have. I think you've done a tremendous job your loyal your dedicated your driven, and you're very passionate about the things that you love. I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone for my own self happiness. Friends pretty much don't exist people are only out for what they can get! People = shit! Don't allow anyone! to bring you down! When you don't get what you expected from an individual express yourself mildly and just keep it moving brother. Life is beautiful and life is what we make it if you don't pull yourself out of that rut no one can do it for you. I'm not a holy roller. And I don't think God is some white guy with a beard and a robe. But Someone is looking out for me and you too that's a fact! You have to believe in that. I really don't know what you believe in but you have to believe in a power higher than yourself bro. Always remember no matter how bad things are there is always good in there somewhere you just have to train your brain to ignore the bad and focus on the good. Once you do that you create your own vibe and it's a good vibe that no one can fuck with! 🫶🏼

You’ve always struck me as a really good guy

Mr.Good it always feels good to get off your chest so now that we are lighter......it's time to get in the pit and try and love someone

27:21 I have a buddy in NL, literally on an island. that i talk to more than any of my local freinds, its crazy that i feel more comfortable with someone ive never met than someone ive "known" for years and wanna talk to but cant find anything to say 😆

I understand. Same thing here. I have no reason. But the answer is over your shoulder. People=shit about 85% of time.

Dude, from MY experience: Maybe it takes a lot more than 4 or 5 therapists to find the one who can help you for real. I've seen SO MANY (like 13 different ones) until I find one that actually suits my needs and expectations. One thing that worked for me was not making fun out of it anymore. It's a cope mechanism but in my life, it was not the right thing to do. Makes you feel like you're in control of shit that you're not, really. "Lemme crush it before it crushes me". It's just an illusion. Unlike girls, dudes don't usually open up about shit, and it makes you fucking drown into yourself. And when we feel like shit, that's what we're drowning into. Shit. Becomes a full circle. An ouroboros. We need to take a deep look at our insides, but not alone. That could actually kill us. That's where a good therapist comes in. It's your guide inside you're own head. And yet another thing. I didn't watch the video till the end, so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here, but if you're into any drugs (and I mean ANY), it's time to quit that shit. I quit coke, booze and even weed, which ppl say is so harmless. It isn't for us. It's all shit in our head. I tried to kill myself once and my wife tried it twice. Not even the fact that we love our 8 yo girl more than any other thing in our lives could stop us. Thank god we're stupid and didn't succeed at it. One more thing. If you feel like you've been in terrible relationships, that's cuz you probably shouldn't be in one rn, unless it's the FUCING ONE! The absolute love of your life. And when we feel like crap, anybody looks like it. We're vulnerable rn. We shouldn't trust our reason that much, yk? Because we are not assholes in essence, but we can totally be toxic and yes, narcissistic, when we're fucked (in specific situations). We become the worst versions of ourselves. But we can, we should go back to what we actually are deep down. We can totally have shitty attitudes, but we can't let it shape us. We are not like that. As the professionals told you, this isn't you, bro. Yk, I had a drawing of a demon I did. A big ass one. A3 size. I used to cut myself and bleed on the fucking thing. I still have a pic I took on my phone, but I had to get rid of the real thing. Just the memory gives me fucking tears, yk? Was rock fucking bottom. I'm just saying words at this point... Lots of love from Brazil, dude. Get well!

One of the hardest lessons in life anyone will ever learn is that people will use you to their advantage until you have served your purpose. Sometimes you can see it right away and other times it just blindsides you after 15-20 years. Don’t ever lower your standards or expectations for what you think a friend should be and how they should carry themselves.

i hate myself, i hate my life, i always have. i hate where im at and what i do. and i cant tell anyone and noones cares. one day my comments will stop. thanks for speaking up

I have wondered for awhile if the vasectomy has anything to do with our depression and chemical issues getting worse than it were before we decided to have it done

I'll just say that I think you could make this another part of your outro, along with the "say no to drugs and alcohol". You have a platform and you are using it for good, that's the shit that matters!

There was No Comments during this Video. I wanted to say that Depression is like a Rollercoaster. One Day your ok. But then others... Your Sad and Crying. But watching a bit of this. Have you been Diagnosed with Schizophrenia?.

Man, I sometimes feel like we're at a point now where we get to feel how maladapted our brains are. How easily we're broken when things that shouldn't be fulfilled, get fulfilled. How easy it is to exploit things like hunger and lust by getting rewarded with an abundance of satisfaction.