Stop Trying To Improve Yourself & Instead Do SHADOW WORK 

👉 BOOK YOUR FREE COACHING SESSION: application.julienhimself.com/?l=hpr2ghovrb Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment) 🚨 WATCH ME NEXT - How to boost your self esteem: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-w27nenP7fsQ.html - How to stop being needy: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-DDmqrbSdzPo.html - How I healed from childhood trauma: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Wa-PhDMhEVQ.html - The cause of social anxiety: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-V6lwwZX7nfw.html

Imagine if all the schools in the world each day had an hour long class showing these types of videos to kids to make the world better. Let's focus our energy at the root of the worlds problems: Mental health and love ❤🙏🏼⭐

this exercise about loving yourself started really working for me when I imagined that I am my own child that I really care about ( i don't have kids of my own) I looked at myself in a mirror like I was looking at my own baby who has nobody but me in this entire world and I eventually saw myself as very special that I need to care for and nurture. I never doubt myself ever again.

What I always loved about Julien is his "Own it" "fuck them do it for you". Sometimes you can even see it in his face. That actually really helps me in my life. I tend to forget that I came further than most people in this world, which is why I should completely neglect their opinion of me.

This one was intense. This is like honesty and transparency at an uncomfortable level. But it feels freeing if you say it out loud. With enough practice of saying vulnerable things in front if strangers, it might make you realize that you won’t get killed after showing your insecurities

Excellent workshop! Some questions that I noted for myself to journal about/do shadow work on, which may also be useful for others: How do I feel about me? Day to day, what is it like to be me? Why is living up to my potential bad or scary? Why do I secretly not want to succeed in my dreams? Why do I secretly love staying in my comfort zone? What is my actual deeper fear stopping me from doing what I want to do? What is so scary about rejection? When did I start rejecting myself? How has the idea that things aren't going to work out for me then followed me in my life? - Where has it resurfaced? What does my mind say, or my body say, if someone tells me that there's nothing wrong with me, nothing broken in me? - Does every part of me believe it? For the parts of me that don't believe it, what's their comeback? What would I immediatly respond to the following questions? Would a part of me believe these questions are justified and that they reveal some truth about me? - Why do my parents hate me and why is it entirely my fault? - Why am I not good enough? - What is missing in me? - What do I hate most about me? - Why is no one going to love me? - Why am I a disappointment to myself? - Why do I deserve to only play small? - Why is playing big not for me? - Why don't I deserve success? - Why don't I deserve happiness? Looking at myself in the mirror, saying, 'I love me as I am now.' Which parts of me do not believe that or resist the idea? - What do they say? Do I believe that I am worthy of love? - Why or why not? Why do I think that I am not good enough for others? Why am I not good enough for myself? Why do I feel like I do not belong? Why do I hate myself, or parts of myself? What if I chose to love myself as I am now? Can I still have dreams and goals and ideas for developing myself both physically and mentally, and yet still love and accept myself exactly as I am now both physically and mentally? - If no, why and is this best for me? If yes, why and is this best for me? - Which of the two responses would help me be both happier now, more likely to achieve any dreams etc, and enjoy the journey? Why? Am I seeking external approval? - In what ways? How can I give myself internal approval, as I am now? Am I seeking to control the people and the world around me? Do I feel at home with myself and feel safe within? - If yes, why? - If no, what would it be like if I did feel this way? - How could I begin to feel that way? In what ways am I being abusive to my inner child? How can I become less abusive to myself and my inner child? Would I accept the level of abuse my inner-voice gives me from a friend? How can I put a stop to the abuse from my inner-voice? How can I better care for and nurture my inner-child? Are there any thoughts or actions that can change how I am right now physically or mentally? Would I feel better if I resisted myself or embraced myself as I am now? What is so bad about me as I am right here right now? Am I doing things for myself or for the approval of others? - What things and why? Am I setting living up to my potential as a requirement to love myself? - If so, at what point will I give myself permission to love myself or be satisfied? - What if I were to love myself as I am right now and then simply enjoy my journey? Who decides if my body is perfect or not? Who decides if my life is perfect or not? Who decides if my achievements are enough or not? Who decides if I am a success or not? Who decides if I am a failure or not? What exactly is perfect? - Is it one singular thing? What exactly is success or failure? - Is it one singular thing? In what ways am I being true to myself or not? In what ways am I being authentic or not? What is the one thing I would hope someone would tell me? - Could I simply tell this to myself right now (and believe it)? Is it OK to be me? - Why or why not?

What you think you're alone with in your 'messed upness', everybody is thinking the same thing for themselves. This brought much such an epiphany and unity I haven't felt in a long time. Holy crap dude. Thank you, and thank you to Lillian for being such a badass up there. I am MOVED

Even the way he is dressed proves a point. I love this. I have recently have done lots of shadow work and it is all worth it.

Idk if she'll ever see this but thank you Lilian for choosing to be vulnerable and brave for yourself and for us. Your answers were incredibly helpful and I just wanted to express my appreciation for you opening up. I'm sending all of the best energy to you 🫂💙✨️

She is beautiful in every way! We are all living behind a mask!

Just because 10 people told you that you aren't pretty enough doesn't mean there aren't 10 more people who think you are pretty but not just saying it.

Found out about this self help almost a year ago and it is changing my life, the funny thing is that I already knew what I NEEDED to do, but didn't have the courage to do it, also I thought that I was alone with this. The more I talk to people the more I see that most of people have something they are afraid of or hiding something just to not look different. Different or weird is awesome!

She was so open to being vulnerable!! The most open I have seen on his channel

This is the realest thing I've ever seen on youtube. Wow. Huge respect for her bravery.

One of my favourite sayings, "The first trick the devil plays is to make you feel alone."

Im also introverted and made the same experience in high school. She is not alone. I have so much compassion for her. I would like to have a friend like her. 😊

The biggest part for me was the boundary I need to set within myself to make me respect me

"What's most personal, is most universal." ..WOW!! That hit me. Everything about this and the previous video I watched about "Social Anxiety" are incredible. I cried in both, and I really listened, it had a big impact on me. Thank you! Edit: I also understood something more about the specific topics and about myself.

This is sooo true. Our thoughts are the MOST powerful things in our life. It can completely change reality.

Julian since got into college it feels like I am not being myself, tbh I don't vibe with other kids in my class and trying to be in there group but still feeling lonely. You won't believe a beautiful girl class from class is trying to approach me and messeged me later and she seems pretty cool and i resonate with her but when I talk in person my voice tremble and i have fear that other people in class will judge me and shame or make stories about me. Missing my friends from school and kinda lost and also why there is so nervousness and my voice sounds weird during class when teacher ask something even though compare to other student i am far smarter and even I answer questions still there is some kind of weight on my chest I don't feel light and free like I used to be earlier. I watched your video about letting go but tbh I still don't understand how exactly step by step practically I can find my true self using this methods. I will grateful if you can provide simpler actionable approach towards my problem.

Julien your videos have helped me so much by just watching 1 video that was 33 minutes. I've personally suffer with severe anxiety. Im 21 and for 9 years ive self isolated myself after some traumatic events back to back happened to me. I wont go into the insufferable details but at 21 ive been trying to get better with my anxiety and soon i may be getting a job. Still i combat my mind overthinking. Your videos help people like me learn to be better. You deserve way more credit for what you do. Thank you.

Watching this is so interesting bcz this lady is saying no one is gonna love her if she looks like that but I see a beautiful confident woman,being vulnerable like that in-front of people is already a big step…It’s so sad how we sometimes look at ourselves from a negative pov…love and light to anyone who’s battling with insecurities ❤❤❤

In gratitude ... I came across this video a couple weeks _after_ I was walking into work, feeling the morning sun on my face, the air was clean and clear and the thought "I'm not broken." washed over and through me. It was as if I was electrified, not shocked, but vibrating; totally unprompted thought - just - "there"; in my head and ringing true to my core. Ever since that day, more videos and teaching moments have come before me. I am grateful for this particular video as it is reaffirming, of that day and those moments and I'm learning more. 🕊✌️🦋

Its unimaginable that my life has changed in less than 7 days of discovering your videos. I lack the words now, but the transformation is unbelievable: out of the blues my anxiety, fear, doubt and lack of confidence are less. Thank you Julien.

God bless and protect you Julien, it just brought me to tears how empathetic and gentle, yet smart and very powerful you speak with your clients 😢❤ we need more people like you on this planet 🙏

Oh my god those shoes 🔥🔥🔥💯💯

I believe owning how you feel is always important but I also believe that when you wake up, saying affirmations to yourself in the mirror and then letting it go for the rest of the day has a tremendous impact on your abilities, and how well your day goes. If you JUST accept and then leave your mind at default without trying to upgrade your thinking, you may feel good around people but you won’t handle tasks as effectively and you’ll limit how good you can be at something. As someone who’s practiced both for many years, I can say that mixing the two produced the best results rather than JUST accepting!

That woman is so strong for being so vulnerable in front of so many people when deep inside, there's a loud voice screaming, "damn, why me? out of so many people." Love her ❤

I really admire the courage of this lady who's opening herself up in front of the camera and of so many people, you're great and I wish you the best!

This man is an emotional genius

"What's most personal, is most universal". Hallelujah........ as always Julien packs so much into a short sentence like this. This man is a godsend.

I'm very appreciative to see women stepping up and genuinely asking for help.

I tried to improve myself for years until a few years ago I realised I needed to do shadow work. So when I saw this, even before I started watching, I thought, 'bang on, this is 100%!!'

Julien, I love your work. I've been mesmerized watching, however. I don't like to say no one is broken. I was watching another video and heard "you are NOT lacking" I'm currently meditating on that. I did feel broken and I sat with it but now, I realize and am repeating to myself "you lack nothing" and my God, has it helped.

Watching this from the outside clearly shows the power that our illusory beliefs can have over us and how much suffering we carry around. What a beautiful and courageous young woman

I just found this channel a few weeks ago and this specific video hit home for me, especially at the end. I used to be a person that would just push down all my emotions and experiences as if I am trying to "fit in" to not be judged by others. I would people please and just felt like I was losing who I am, constantly feel controlled by others. This lead to alot of behaviours I didn't understand; procrastination on work (in my case university) and overeating alot are the main examples. The letting go aspect of my emotions and acceptance has opened my eyes to all that I was hiding through a fake mask. I'm still new to alot of this meditation stuff, identifying which emotion I have, or which step on transformation I'm at because personally it just feels like alot of random emotions all at once; most of the time. However, I am starting to notice more when I'm triggered and doing more meditations when I feel triggered inside. Thank you so much for this content Julien! You have changed my life in a big way, and I am so greatful for that!

I was just rejected multiple times by someone I was convinced was my soulmate. It made me feel unlovable at first but these videos help remind me that it was for the best. It says more about him than myself. Its probably protection from the divine.

You are truly the first person to give me hope. I've never thought my life was going to amount to anything, but it has been inspiring watching your videos.

I so appreciate her comments on the diagnosis of social anxiety and how it confirmed her previous thoughts that there really is something wrong with her. I work in the field of mental health and I have come to the conclusion that diagnoses are there for practitioners, not for the client. I feel they damage clients, in fact. Further, I feel practitioners should dump diagnoses because the same dynamic works as Julien described when taling about confirming your biases about self. If a psychiatrist decides someone meets the criteria foe bipolar disorder, they will (and do) miss the many signs of development / attachment traumas many people carry with them at all times and their, "manic," symptoms are simply someone doing ANYTHING to avoid it.

Julien, you were the best coach from when I was into RSD back in 2013 & 2014, met you at Hot Seat in Philly, NYC & Toronto, saw you out in Toronto bar helping students. The real deal. Very personable, dedicated to your craft and really do a great job of explaining everything you practice. Bravo Julien. Glad to see you're pushing people to be brave and face their fears in a relatable and effective way.

DOOM!! But on the real, i have gained some good insight from your videos and i literally just found your channel like an hour ago. I went through a lot as a kid being tossed back a forth between my parents because neither one wanted me or my siblings growing up and these interactions you have with others really speak to me. Keep doing what you do man

This proves what julian said, whats personal is most universal, i liked his shirt too and she said it at the end

To this girl, you're amazing and strong. Doing this work is hard, opening up in front of so many makes it even more so. It such an amazing journey. Celebrate when you notice the progress. Celebrate you. Also, I LOVE that skirt.

I've been watching a lot of your vids from the perspective of someone that has always had a deep core of self love. Even when I've self sabotaged, I haven't stuck with it when push comes to shove. Throughout my youth, I stood up to those around me in defense of my true, authentic self. Including my parents. It was often times lonely but I somehow knew it was going to be okay. Between the ages of 7 and 9 I felt utter depression even though my life was sheltered. I felt disconnected from what I wanted to be and it felt out of reach for a long time. By the time I became a teenager, I was dying to express myself. I rebelled hard against the world around me and found myself in the process but it went against the image of myself I had created for approval growing up. By my late teens, early 20s I was able to manipulate people around me with well crafted lies to preserve that image but it got very exhausting. True happiness came at 24 when I chose to say enough: I am this imperfect person, take it or leave it. Now I can look back at pictures and memories of myself in every stage of life and feel real connection and pride at who I was then. I have moments of cringe, like anyone, but I did my best with what I knew at the time. I am NOT perfect, I work on myself constantly and your content rings true because it stands on the shoulders of giants. It's hard. We are living breathing creatures and our subconscious is a raging torrent with ever shifting currents. Whenever there's a moment of realness, it's like being thrown an oar to help steer those waters. Massive love and gratitude to you and all the people who put in the work to reconnect to themselves. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Julien , you've crafted a world where you aren't concerned about peoples opinions and judgement. However I just want to add that in my opinion you are fucking awesome. I love what you do and you are just amazing. Sending you lots of love man!

wow, just needed this today. WE all are messed up. We all fee insecurities. Thought I was the only one. Thank you so much! Oh, yes everyone has its own journey. Tahnk yoyu for this real talk!! This is so releaving to me. Bless you!

Oh, love you for Don't improve yourself from the assumption "I'm broken". EXACTLY. Nothing to fix, I'm strong and ideal and that's why I can improve! Improve my perfection:) because I am curious, not because I have to be better. AND perfection is seen Only from the peaceful, rested state. It's my strong belief.

This resonated so much with me, cause I have insecurities with my body, too. And I also had this realization that we all are so messed up and always play a role. I’ll definitely use the advice and do shadow work. Thanks for the video.

"You are your greatest abuser" I needed to hear that 🙏 this work is not easy.

00:00 🧘 Grounding techniques, like taking deep breaths, can help improve the quality of life and reduce anxiety. 01:38 🎓 Adding depth to simple content in self-improvement yields more results than consuming vast quantities of surface-level material. 03:23 🔍 Self-sabotage often stems from subconscious beliefs aligning with comfort zones or core beliefs, not necessarily conscious desires. 10:41 💡 Personal growth isn't about fixing oneself but realizing one was never broken, shedding conditioning that suggests otherwise. 17:34 🪞 Practicing self-love exercises, addressing past conditioning, and challenging limiting beliefs are crucial for personal growth and self-acceptance. 21:17 🤔 Surrendering to life and reality means accepting the present moment as it is. 22:50 🚫 Put a firm boundary on negative self-talk to cultivate self-love and self-respect. 24:56 💡 Strive to move towards the self-transforming mind, where you balance internal reflection with external feedback. 26:29 🤝 Embrace authenticity and accept yourself as you are in the present moment. 28:43 🗣 Constantly remind yourself that "it's okay to be you" to counteract societal pressures. 31:32 💬 Authenticity resonates with others and inspires genuine connections.

what really struck a chord with me was the comment you made about creating our own reality. I'm the goal. I'm the reality.

THANKS! You are enough right here, right now! You don't need any requirements to love yourself!!! Everything You aspire, go for it from a place of love❤❤❤ Love y'all :))

If almost everyone seems to be dealing with anxiety, and low self esteem, maybe it's not something we're 'diagnosed' with as an ailment, maybe it's just a phase of life or lack of complete awareness about ones greatness?

Saying to someone they are not broken is only going to work when they look for the company of those who think the same and there are not many people like that, that’s why you are making money, people are willing to pay to hear they are Ok. The reality is that we often feel broken when we seek the company of people who are completely different to us, where we don’t fit. Find the crowd where you fit in and you’ll never think you are broken. An alternative is to become similar to those whose company we are after either through training or styling which many people is trying to do and there is nothing wrong with it

Goddamn man when you said “your well being comes first”, I teared up a bit. That struck so close to home. So glad your videos popped up in my recommended.

I binge these videos from Julien and it fucking breaks my heart seeing this many people broken and having the conditioning. I had it the same and I'm still working through and yet I thought I was alone.

Haven't watched your videos in a while and whilst I'm doing shadow work I come back and you're promoting it! There's some beautiful new consciousness emerging right now

I think the over indulgence of self help material subconsciously communicates that you are not good enough because when you r trying to constantly improve yourself you confirm to yourself that "am not good enough thats why i need all this self help material"...Truth is self help is a business and the real help you need is to approve of yourself.. (You might not know that you are actually doing enough and you are pretty/handsome enough but you are)

from this video i learned to be kinder to myself. talk to myself as my child it is okay to be me it is okay to be not perfect it is okay to have flaws that i am still enough even if i have imperfections. my imperfections doesn't define me. i am more than that si be kinder to myself and it is okay to be not perfect

It's True...Talking to a Married man and he was so about being happy married...when walking in the office he was sitting skin close to a norther woman I didn't care but when he seen me he quickly moved away from her like he did something wrong...the body language says it all.

This was amazing. Lilian you are so brave and thank you for your vulnerability

Thank you for this video, Julien. I feel like it was specifically for me. On the last video, I asked when I'm supposed to be authentic because I'm still mostly in negative states, and this video gave me the answer. I've been searching your videos for this specific answer, and I finally have it as clear as day. You said, and I'm paraphrasing, even if you're in a negative state, be that authentically. Thank you.

Julien dropping some serious wisdom bombs! So glad you grow bigger. Wish you the best...

These are some really strong insights. I take public transport very often and I see so many people who just close themselves off from others, afraid to speak or even look at others.

Lilian, I saw myself in you a hundred percent and beyond. It was comforting. Thank you for sharing.

probably the very best of this type of content i have ever seen. thank you so very muc. the whole world needs to hear this, especially just now. x

this is making me cry right now thank you Julien and team

I dont need any of this, but i love what im hearing and seing , i KNOW a lot of peoples find real value within your videos work here! I love psychology, to analyse all the damn time ( natural neuro divergent nature ) I can tell your content, is real

"Stop trying to improve yourself" Try telling the to a stoic! Love the channel though, you're excellent at your craft 👌🏼

Yes yes yessss YESSSSSSS! Min 7 she was diagnosed with social anxiety but she knows ots bull you have to fight! You can't give in! You have to fight!

100% blunt honesty: Lilian is very pretty, she is not overweight but looks a bit out of shape like she doesn't work out, and she has poor posture. This is stuff that can be fixed in a few months. In a year she could be a 9/10. This is not shallow, it is all part of health and well-being, and just shows how the mind can blind us. She is already very close to what she thinks she should be. So imagine what more she can be when she opens her eyes. I am rooting for you, Lilian. Working out has been a game-changer for me, it is such a relief not just to get rid of stress but also to see how the body can just take control and that it knows what it's doing, it knows how to make itself stronger and fitter if you just put in the reps. I feel much more confident now that the mind is the same. We just have to put in the reps and show the mind what we need and it will follow without question.

the movie 'a beautiful mind' i thought gave a really helpful strategy for that abusive self talk. the guy is schizophrenic, and when he realizes the characters in his life that are 'not real', he kinda goes to each one and says 'i'm mot going to be able to listen to you and pay attention to you any more'..... it really was so powerful to me. i mean those are his friends and companions and he had to say goodbye. and then still see them around and not pay attention to them. these really hateful parts of myself are my companions. i mean they are. they were created within me for a purpose. and now i have to constantly decide whether or not i will allow them to interact with me. and when i can, i tell them i love them, but i cant interact with them..

thank god that i watched 3 videos of you bro, because it's what got me to really start to follow your steps

this guys reversing the damage from social media ie insta

You are doing such great work julian. Love ya man.

How do you feel? Annoyed that even after doing the inner work, there's still this voice that says "you're not enough." What's so scary about rejection? Not being enough. But you're already there lol. You spend your life in a state of "I'm not enough," so how is that a fear? Really we're afraid of letting go of that very familiar story of "I'm not enough." We've built our lives around it and are incredibly invested in it. The human condition is wanting to improve while at the same time defining ourselves as not improved. Good luck.

thank you for shining your light to the world, thank you

Balance is key, I found that a lot of mental issues are from negative thoughts. Meditation can stop the negative thoughts.

Julien's content just keeps getting better and better!. The hordeeeee is risingggg!?!?!!

A thought just popped up as i was watching a different video of yours and one of the guests you brought up said "this video will be one i won't be watching", because he obviously was embarrassed to be out on blast on youtube. I think thats a great opportunity to reinforce that they should watch it though, because they'll be able to see the whole interaction again from a different perspective and it would help solidify what you were telling him.

I love how he dosnt give a shit how he looks. My first impression was "doom-shirt?? Barefoot-shoes? What pants are those? Omg" But seeing more videos of him and getting his message...damn, you do well, dude!

This was INCREDIBLY powerful for me, thank you so much!🙏

Hey Julien! I've been watching your live demonstration and I can say it resonates most of what you say and i can relate to people who you try to help! Just want to say thank you! I've been repeating most of your vids to absorb this and hopefully apply it on my life! I hope you stop by in the Philippines would love to join your event! Thank you once again!

That's exactly what happened to me, my father was everything to me, the only person who I can trust and believe, the most intelligent man, if he told me the sky is red I'd believe him and when he told me I was stupid, useless, a donkey, I believed him. My therapist helped me realized that his words and his way of think is not always the best, correct or even good, so I started changing, I never accepted being femenine, I believed I was ugly but then I dressed up better, I took care of my body, my skin and mostly important the things I really liked and wanted. My dad is no longer that perfect god I respected. Oh! I even forgot that I normalized getting hit by him, so I thought I deserved it, now I see it was so wrong, but I still have a lot to work on myself.

omg she is so cute, I cant believe she thinks she's unlovable

The question is: who cares? Who cares about your amazing appearance and the way you try to look good. "You are shaking". Self-improvent and self development argumentations serve which purpose? Your own feeling well and that's all? Or maybe it can help others and influence each other and collaborate. You will find many more examples. Thank you for this video.

3:30 FACTS if you are unhappy about something in your life, change it. If you leave it, then you love it. I wish I could take my own advice....and this guy's apparently

Your videos are really helping me. Thank you, Julien.

The part about "if you had a friend that was as toxic as your inner voice, would you still hang out with them?" That really resonates. I would cut them off quickly.

The idea that every inclination in a person is good, is a dangerous proposition. Some things should NOT be accepted.

This was a great video back into the swing of internal growth for me! It's been a few months since I've watched one of your videos, I've missed them! Side note: your outfits make my heart happy! They're always fantastic 🤩

I'll never be loved because I'm imperfect; I don't make enough money. I'm too shy, timid, quiet. I apologize too much. Physically, my hairline recedes too much and I'm too skinny (I have toned muscle, but can't bulk. I believe women don't want a skinny guy, they want someone to protect them and/or cuddle). I place everyone on a pedestal and give them gold yet beat the crap out of myself. I do not, however, believe in those type of diagnoses - like she said "i was diagnosed with anxiety so i have an excuse" - no, no... that diagnosis is just a crutch. Thanks for your videos.

19:20 is so powerful and true

When she said”no one is gonna love you like that” 🔪❤️ hurt me for her and seems impossible that someone and anyone wouldn’t based on legs… yet I’m so hard on myself the exact same way. Not feeling belonging is so strong.

“What’s most personal is most universal….”🙏😭

I've been listening to this on repeat all day.

Im in a modern psychoanalytic psychotherapy. And he uses Depth Psychology. I like it.

You are so cute and honest. We need people like you

My names lily I got diagnosed social anxiety at 20 really made me feel incapable and separate from others. I still struggle with feeling like I fulfil my ‘potential’ and have success in my life. Thanks for sharing I am looking forward to embracing life more as it really doesn’t matter which way it’s a struggle on both sides. ❤

dang she def saw her dad in julienhimself, surely alot of improvment if ya work through the triggert state, surely empathic to say we are all the same. still kinda feels like ya egos clashed right there. And im impressed on how julien kept himself focused. Watching and analyzing it is uncomfy i prolly feel the fear of my shadow trying to "protect" my inner child with attacking on such psychologic niveau just to keep that believe alive as i did many times before.