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Stories of Transformation - Adwynna 

Dr Joe Dispenza
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Adwynna shares the wisdom she's gained in the 4 years since she began attending Dr Joe's retreats.
Recorded at the Niagara Falls Advanced Week Long Retreat in September 2019 +
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this video are personal experiences of Encephalon event participants. Encephalon’s RU-vid channel provides a platform for participant expression. Meditation may be used as a supplement to current medical treatments. The opinions expressed in this video are not meant to be used for self-diagnosis or to replace the services of a medical professional. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition including diagnosis or choice of treatment. Encephalon, Dr Joe, and individuals appearing in this video are not liable for any damages or injury resulting from your reliance on any information provided. The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Encephalon or Dr Joe.

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22 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 204   
@joshuagarwood9733
@joshuagarwood9733 7 месяцев назад
What an amazing and lovely woman. Something about her energy just captivated me, at the start. So I stopped what I was doing and went full screen and just sat and listened. So much of what she said resonated so much. I'm so grateful I saw this.
@pennymeads
@pennymeads 3 года назад
I needed so badly to hear this, I hope that even with not being able, for whatever reason to attend any retreats, I can still, with practice, watching RU-vid videos, reading the books come close to my authentic self. Love to you all.
@christinasmile5566
@christinasmile5566 Год назад
You can ❤️🙏 join the Facebook groups if you haven't already for some support 🙌🌟❤️
@anamaria-ji8qk
@anamaria-ji8qk 5 лет назад
This is one of the best testimony.I kept listening and listening and listening.yes..
@eugeniosolari
@eugeniosolari 4 года назад
so do I and meditating applying all what I may catch about this... and I may asure it does work, even not having been in any of these amazing events where so many people have been transformed so lovingly
@buhundbeliever7169
@buhundbeliever7169 3 года назад
She was a giant hiding, crouched over her inner light.... now she is standing tall, beaming her fullest light, inspiring all to see. 🌈❤️✨
@sarahtherese19
@sarahtherese19 3 года назад
Totally agree 💯
@sabchee
@sabchee 3 года назад
I'm amazed by every testemony, but this one is mind blowing. I always belived or. better new there is something so much bigger than us, unseeable but ever present. I'm so grateful for I get to live and see how people are heelers themselfes and amazed by the quantity of them are able to do that, thanks to dr. Joe, who is the brakethrough of our times. Thank you enormously Adwynna for sharing you amazing, devine experience with the Devine and deep thanks to dr. Joe, who is enableing to us to reach out to the Devine within ourselves. Hopefully I'll breakthrough too to share that unbelivable experince with others while operating as a higher self as you, Adwynna, are already doing. Blessings 🙏💎💗☄️✨✨✨
@yasminerg2079
@yasminerg2079 2 года назад
@@eugeniosolari a las 6 heures
@Lisa_M_V
@Lisa_M_V 5 лет назад
Einstein’s quotes on imagination 💭 “Imagination is everything, it is the preview of life’s coming attractions” “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere”
@andreameier5829
@andreameier5829 2 месяца назад
Großartig, aber genau so ist es ❤
@lizg6460
@lizg6460 5 лет назад
This is one of the most beautiful testimonials I've seen
@anjakersten
@anjakersten 4 года назад
Oh my God, I just loved every single bit you were saying! I was at Niagara Falls too and am immensely grateful, that I could be there. So many things you said spoke to me, especially the bit about coming out of hiding! I so needed to hear your message! Much love Anja ❤️❤️❤️⭐️⭐️⭐️
@janicevick9088
@janicevick9088 3 года назад
I loved this. I actually cried. Sometimes when I’m trying so hard to let the light in . I think what I really need to do is let it out. I’m crying just writing that. Definitely the most moving testimonial for me so far. Thank you so much. ❤️
@transformed1444
@transformed1444 5 лет назад
I have realized myself that others are just not into becoming a better person, or intend to change They are stuck in their program. That's ok with me now, and if anyone wants to know, I would be so pleased and grateful to share. I know now that the Divine Love, Unified Field exists. So if the Divine can not change the average common person, I sure can not change them. I let things be now, in the past, I would us words that were trying to prove something, now I realize that those words just tortured them. Like Dr Joe always said, "It's until a crisis happens, that a person is faced to change", so I am very selective in what I say, and just let others evolve at their own pace, and just live my life as a living example of being the best I can. Patients Patients Patients.... Great testimonial Adwynna, all the best on your journey.......
@juiianadebeers8230
@juiianadebeers8230 4 года назад
Totally agree-well said!
@User0resU-1
@User0resU-1 4 года назад
A person cannot accept information that is not equal to their emotions at the time. Dr Joe.
@missusbigs
@missusbigs 5 лет назад
REALLY glad I watched this one. So timely, so perfect.
@AlexandraMarieGuidry
@AlexandraMarieGuidry 4 года назад
Wow feeling so incredible in my body and soul watching all of these testimonials but my gosh I feel as if my soul is electric watching you sweet angel woman
@nonamilast5311
@nonamilast5311 4 года назад
These testimonies show me, if they can, I can!!! :) and so can you! 💕💐🌷🌺🍄
@BarbManion
@BarbManion 5 лет назад
Ugh!! I just want Adwynna to be my new best friend!! She is so eloquent in verbalizing all the feelings that passed through me at the advanced in Portland. This testimony has stimulated so many thought about manifestations that I have left simmering on a back burner... Your insights are so provocative. Thank you, Adwynna. Yes, you are radiant!
@Chiefchief4444
@Chiefchief4444 5 лет назад
Thank you Adwynna and Dr. Joe
@Anangelfromabove
@Anangelfromabove 3 года назад
I felt so connected to you when you said you couldn’t be yourself because you were worrying about others and it was causing you to be uncomfortable! I am just getting into this work at 22 and I want to feel whole. Part of me getting scared of it but I’m more scared of what will happen if I don’t do the work. I want to feel like I can be my real self and let go of all this holding in anxiety from my past! Thank you so much! This inspired me to go for it and become my best. And congrats on your journey. I hope it never stops get better for you!❤️
@MarcelaMGM
@MarcelaMGM 2 года назад
a quiet brain .... that is such an extraordinary thing. I am really inspired by your story. I had heard it before but for some reason today I could really listen to every word. Thank You very much.
@supermom-nocape9831
@supermom-nocape9831 4 месяца назад
Ill be attending my first retreat in a few weeks and i so needed to hear this. Im going to heal my body and open my heart and mind to it changing my life forever in the best way possible. Thank you for sharing your testimonial!
@ameroshqiptar17
@ameroshqiptar17 25 дней назад
How was your experience at the event?!
@damselflyjewels
@damselflyjewels 3 года назад
This is exceptionally wonderful story of continual transformation in this work! Such beautiful clarity..You are such a marvelous example of who we can become in time using this practice as a way of living. I'm feeling such Gratitude for you and this amazing unfolding that is possible.
@katherineraina7344
@katherineraina7344 Год назад
Dear Adwynna - I love and appreciate what you say about your children thank you, I appreciate you so much! Oh my gosh - had to add I just love your whole testimony!
@manifestcrypto4955
@manifestcrypto4955 5 месяцев назад
Beautiful! I connect with you in the realization that you’ve been hiding who you are so that others are comfortable, but you weren’t comfortable and that doesn’t work. I’ve been being more true to myself, too and realizing this can be a daily truth, connecting with divinity being a match. Thank you for your beautiful, authentic, heart felt testimony.
@lianacristaudi55
@lianacristaudi55 7 дней назад
One of the most beautiful testimonials I have watched. Simple. Yet so profound. Thank you ❤
@dagobertduck9507
@dagobertduck9507 4 года назад
Her Energy is so deeply beautiful. I could listen to her talk the whole day. Thank you so mucb for sharing. I love you
@Tascountrygirl
@Tascountrygirl 3 года назад
Thank you so much for your radiance and this beautiful testimony. It is the most beautiful beautiful testimony that I have heard. Bless you. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
@amberlamascus7789
@amberlamascus7789 2 года назад
I can relate to this very much. This explains what is happening to me
@valeriewilliams9650
@valeriewilliams9650 4 года назад
Adwynna Thank you so much, let light out, ok and open to more, absolutely, this is so much helpful information, wow, thank you.
@kokesjohn
@kokesjohn 5 лет назад
WOW! Adwynna you are so so radiant in this testimonial as compared to your last one. Thank you for this powerful update 🧨✨🎉 We appreciate your personal journey very much 🙏
@rebeccanichols8759
@rebeccanichols8759 4 года назад
Thank you. You just made a positive change in my life. Thank you 🙏
@quantumnat3997
@quantumnat3997 4 года назад
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ♥️ Your testimonial was exactly what i needed to hear right this moment... Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏼 ✨💫
@highestapril
@highestapril 2 года назад
RADIANT. Such a powerful word. Thank you!
@holographicheart4353
@holographicheart4353 4 года назад
Love this - thank you for sharing for your honesty and for bringing and sharing your light! It's so wonderful to hear others have the same experience/s - can so relate to the mystical experiences, biological upgrades etc and so beautiful to know that we are not alone. Earth angels here to keep evolving and growing and in each change we are changing the field and the ripple is ever expanding. Keep spreading your light! Much love
@martaartmeier
@martaartmeier 4 года назад
You inspired me so much! I watch this Video every couple of weeks to stay inspired. Thank you so much!
@AdwynnaMacKenzie
@AdwynnaMacKenzie 3 года назад
Wow...I haven’t been here in ages and was surprised by how many people it’s helped. Thank you ❤️
@dianegiovanniello3948
@dianegiovanniello3948 5 лет назад
Thank you for sharing Adwynna’s testimony ⭐️
@priestesspeaches9095
@priestesspeaches9095 4 года назад
Oh my goodness this was/is BEAUTIFUL. Wow. This moved me. Thank you ♡
@Lisa_M_V
@Lisa_M_V 5 лет назад
Beautiful testimonial Adwynna 🧡 Imagination is the only reality🧡 I meditate daily and I feel blissful too and some people go with you and some don’t. But who cares? The majority are vibrating really low generally. More matter less energy. Jesus only had 12 followers who understood the power of this 🤗
@SPICOSTAROS
@SPICOSTAROS 2 года назад
I just did the progressive about 5 weeks ago; havent missed a day without a meditation with definite results although not dramatic as many testimonials depict. But I have noticed that every single testiomonial I click on is PRECISELY what I needed to hear. Adwynna´s is one of the most poignant. Thank you
@dianeelizabeth5955
@dianeelizabeth5955 2 года назад
What a lovely testimonial Adwynna. Your testimonial and sharing the love, peace and radiance from your heart is inspiring. It flows through you as well as out into the world. Healing the earth by being you. Every step you take.
@marinarosa8599
@marinarosa8599 3 года назад
One of the best testimonials!!! Thanks for sharing ❤🙏🤗
@giovannamerz9199
@giovannamerz9199 4 года назад
You really walk the talk! You are an inspiration, I love you. Thank you for doing the work
@elmarielouise6421
@elmarielouise6421 2 месяца назад
Wow...Frozen shoulder = heart protection & pleasing others. #YES! I so relate. And guess what? I have a frozen shoulder on my right side. Whilst going through a intense seeking phase, I have been listening to Dr. Dispenza's youtube talks/ interviews and Meditations. It is sinking in and it is definitely making a difference. I am still seeking more though. Something inside me is guiding me. It's quite amazing to experience. Would be amazing to attend one of your retreats Dr. Dispenza. In South Africa!!
@inea.r.a.c.
@inea.r.a.c. 5 лет назад
So, so, so amazing! Radiant♡♡♡
@veroniquea6931
@veroniquea6931 5 лет назад
Thank you so much for that one !!!! Every testimonial is a gift. This one touches me deeply. Tanks a lot. 💖
@supermom-nocape9831
@supermom-nocape9831 9 месяцев назад
How wonderful! Thank you for embracing who you are and sharing your testimony.
@camk7642
@camk7642 3 года назад
Thank you so much! You are wonderful!
@flourishingspirits3393
@flourishingspirits3393 4 года назад
This is refreshing. The decisions you make the day before affects who you are tomorrow.
@lisatarasenko6503
@lisatarasenko6503 2 года назад
Thank you thank you thank you!!
@linzy7017
@linzy7017 4 года назад
This is so poignant...I've have a frozen shoulder and seeing your body hunched forward over your heart I knew I've been protecting mine all my life.. trying to make others love me. Thank you Alwynn..please keep testifying ❤
@AdwynnaMacKenzie
@AdwynnaMacKenzie 3 года назад
Lindsay. I don’t say in the testimonial that my shoulder was 95% healed by the end of the event! I’d forgotten to check to see if I could lift my arm. The next 5% was using it again, better posture and staying open-hearted. Hope yours is healing! ❤️💜
@linzy7017
@linzy7017 3 года назад
@@AdwynnaMacKenzie Thanks Adwynna..I'm now swimming every day and my shoulder's much improved...no pain and better posture ❤
@SoulFrequency333
@SoulFrequency333 4 года назад
Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience Adwynna
@janettenash2640
@janettenash2640 4 года назад
Beautiful Thank You Yes we are the Light It’s Real
@theresesjostrom8310
@theresesjostrom8310 4 года назад
Beautiful!!!! Could listen to you all day long!
@sashakartus3435
@sashakartus3435 3 года назад
Beautiful. This is what I'm looking for all my life.
@cindymadore
@cindymadore 4 года назад
" Is it my imagination?.. REAL? YES! Great works of art, music, poetry, inventions ALL begin in the realm of imagination. We are masterpieces in progress. Know it.
@lizzyagatha
@lizzyagatha 2 года назад
excellent talk. thank you..... I love you so much
@mariliansantilli7756
@mariliansantilli7756 2 года назад
Adwynna beautiful Testimonial , the most beautiful Testimonial ever!🙏
@skyeselway2035
@skyeselway2035 4 года назад
thank you for your peace and grace. what a beautiful human and a beautiful testimony xx
@takingflight7656
@takingflight7656 3 года назад
Oh my goodness... Where to begin? This is one of the most compelling, moving testimonials I've heard yet. Adwynna, you have such a gentle and sincere nature. To hear of your transformation over the years of practicing the work is a HUGE inspiration for a newbie like me. 🙏
@ME-hv9kx
@ME-hv9kx 5 лет назад
Dear Adwynna I am happy for you . Will love to read your book. I not only learn from Dr Joe but also from the testimonials. It is important for us to know the different experiences people who heals are having and the process for it. Thank you so much for sharing you joy and your peace . I will love to understand when you said that you have to let the light out. Every person who heals through the method should write about it because seems like everybody have their own experience. I am trying hard to produce mine , I must heal my body but also my spirit ...doing the work everyday...I notice many people who healed were so relaxed....Every testimonial is a lesson for me same as those I hear from Dr Joes. Blessings to you. 💚💚💚💜💜💜
@AdwynnaMacKenzie
@AdwynnaMacKenzie 4 года назад
Hi...let's see if I can answer that...I was bringing a whole lot of light into my body, but not flowing it out into the world. In order for the light to keep coming in, it needs to flow! (that's a simple answer...I'll write a blog post and get back to you!) My book is on Amazon now...just search for my first name! I also collect other people's stories to write about and totally agree that we ALL need to share who we are...openly! Love to you
@divinebeginnings3741
@divinebeginnings3741 4 года назад
Adwynna MacKenzie 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝
@divinebeginnings3741
@divinebeginnings3741 4 года назад
Adwynna MacKenzie pleaseeee,,, create more videos on your RU-vid channel explaining processes 🙏🏼 what a gift your testimony was 💝 thank you for talking about the BEings ♥️ Orlando Florida
@Regan-travels
@Regan-travels Месяц назад
One of the best testimonials I've heard 💙
@katieconnolly8627
@katieconnolly8627 2 года назад
Thank you 🙏 💕✨✨So inspired by your beautiful testimonial . Such a joy to listen to and so affirming of Divine Truth and the miraculous once we get beyond the illusions. And it is there for ALL. ☮️❤️❤️✨✨✨✨
@cococollective-cocoregina7074
@cococollective-cocoregina7074 4 года назад
I feel your voice is so soothing!
@embolduc
@embolduc 3 года назад
I'm glad that I finally came across this particular testimonial because she explains more closely to what I have been going through in my life the last 15 years that pretty much mirrors what Joe dispenza has been teaching people in some ways
@My5sons1114
@My5sons1114 2 года назад
I really needed this. Thank you!
@HighestSelff
@HighestSelff 6 месяцев назад
I love you SO MUCH♥️♥️♥️♥️thank you thank you thank you for who you are, the continuous work that you do, and your generosity to share these experiences.🕊️you are so valuable, sending you all the love and hugs you needed when you felt hiding on your journey ♥️♥️♥️♥️
@nenadonley3987
@nenadonley3987 Год назад
Thank you for such great testimony! It gives me so much hope. How inspiring and genuine!😊
@QueBarbaraaaa
@QueBarbaraaaa 8 месяцев назад
Thank you so this beautiful testimony. You are absolutely radiant ✨
@BicirBicir
@BicirBicir 2 года назад
One of the best testimonials I have ever listened to. What you said at the end was so so needed. Thank you!
@henriettaatkin1968
@henriettaatkin1968 Год назад
I love what the light being said to you. Going to claim it as my own!
@amirakhalifa6273
@amirakhalifa6273 4 года назад
Adwynna love love love your testimony so soothing and inspiring! You give me strenght to continue doing the work.
@user-pe2lw1ze8i
@user-pe2lw1ze8i 2 года назад
Thanks so much for telling us the journey, its really helpful
@coalibre
@coalibre 5 лет назад
Thank for so authentic and emotional sharing about it. It is really hard to go on this way. Thank you so much.
@CHRISTCONSCIOUSNESS101
@CHRISTCONSCIOUSNESS101 5 лет назад
This is so good!!! Thank you!!
@DonniTom
@DonniTom 3 года назад
What a powerful testamonial. Thanks for sharing.
@janettenash2640
@janettenash2640 4 года назад
Thank You Dr.Joe
@itsalluphl
@itsalluphl 5 лет назад
You are such an inspiration to me. I relate to so many things you say 💖 And like you I’ve been maintaining a journal of my growth but never seem to devote enough time to reading what I wrote. Thanks to you, that will be a priority. 🙏🦋✨
@tahiranance2225
@tahiranance2225 4 года назад
“Light was pouring out of my heart. I thought i was letting light in, not letting light out....that light can’t come to me if I don’t have it. It’s a match! It’s a match...DUH!!!” I love that part! What is so obvious to us we are are aware...it seems so simple once we come out of the dark
@Laxmiaq
@Laxmiaq 4 года назад
This happend to me too. IS so preciouss. Thanks for the testimony
@FlowerChyld143
@FlowerChyld143 7 месяцев назад
I Love this one. Thank you!!❤
@kimmnightingale8440
@kimmnightingale8440 4 года назад
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your beautiful sharing, it is perfect for me and this present moment . . . a gift. This is right where I am in my work, you are the perfect gift. love and gratitude, Kimm
@bernadetastarzak3507
@bernadetastarzak3507 4 года назад
Beautiful, thank you ❤️🙏🏻❤️
@rickyfrost3372
@rickyfrost3372 8 месяцев назад
You are incredible! So inspirational!
@makalynnchambers6963
@makalynnchambers6963 3 года назад
I'm wearing a very similar design to your shirt, almost identical. I'm going to take that as a sign. I enjoy how your work and dedication has helped others even though they may not practice the work as well. I'm hoping my dedication can rub off on those in my life as well. Raise this vibration now! Thanks for this testimonial, you deserve to be happy. What a beautiful soul.
@michelehenquet6152
@michelehenquet6152 5 лет назад
This is so great.Thank you Adwynna.
@brightchange6065
@brightchange6065 4 года назад
Why on earth would other people want to do what you do or want to know why you do what you do? And why is that heartbreaking?! Very well spoken.
@okoch3235
@okoch3235 5 лет назад
Just "Wow"!
@mokomeremaatshakanasa1280
@mokomeremaatshakanasa1280 4 года назад
This is a great and inspiring testimonial. I love the aspect of who we become in doing this work. I listen to this nearly every day. I would live to read your book
@AdwynnaMacKenzie
@AdwynnaMacKenzie 3 года назад
Hi. Thank you for this! Wow. My heart is full reading these. Yes...book launched last year. Carefree, It Starts With Open. Amazon, other outlets too like Ingram Spark and Kobo Keep shining!❣️💕🤍💖
@AdwynnaMacKenzie
@AdwynnaMacKenzie 3 года назад
Wow if you listen that often I’d like to meet you! 💖Carefree, It Starts With Open. Amazon, other outlets too like Ingram Spark and Kobo Track me down, let’s talk!
@LoveMoneySecretsTV
@LoveMoneySecretsTV 3 года назад
What a an absolutely beautiful testimony and experience, She really is radiant! Yes we are open to more and it is all real.... when you are open to more, more comes to you. #quietbrain what a beautiful expression. #practiceoflove
@TheQueenmom1
@TheQueenmom1 3 года назад
Thank you so much for sharing, Adwynna. I so much resonated with letting the light out. As a Singer and multi talented being I have always been high energy. I have always been a bit too much for those around me. My band members got me to bring some of the vocal abilities that I had kept in the closet. One being chanting in foreign tongues. Then quarantine. 2 major voices and Instrumentalists moved to other states. I AM the only major solo voice left. Gotta allow another avenue to shine my light🙏💗🌎
@Nori8273
@Nori8273 9 месяцев назад
She’s very calming ❤
@yvonnedaily252
@yvonnedaily252 3 года назад
I noticed everyone's comments are said to be from a year ago. I believe that our Infinite Source brings us the information when we need it and Adwynna popped up on my testimony search as I love listening to the testimonials. Some I identify with more than others and that's okay but I really felt like she is going to teach me some additional things to help me progress and she already has. In fact I just ordered four copies of her book carefree.. . I intend to share them with others but I can hardly wait to dive spiritually head first into what else she has to say. I've had similar experiences and I know there's many more to come, there is a lot of growth for all of us.... I've always said just when we think we get things figured out I realize we're still taking baby steps but it feels so good to keep going deeper and deeper into the light into the field, feeling Infinite Source, my description of God. I believe it doesn't matter what time you get to see her message it is your time and she is going to be a teacher extraordinaire as she already is and can only get better each and every day.... Thank you Dr Joe, and thank you for sharing her testimony... I am infinitely grateful... ♥️
@tamaragregory7765
@tamaragregory7765 2 года назад
I love your story and would love to read your book. I’ve had so many aha ha moments about my story when listening to others. Once you know your not the only one it’s all accepted as real rather than wondering if I’m exaggerating. Reading your story would be a blessing
@lindahalbert5783
@lindahalbert5783 4 года назад
Thank you 😊❤️
@karenguben578
@karenguben578 Год назад
Thankyou Adwynna.
@thesecretlifeofhuman
@thesecretlifeofhuman 2 года назад
Thank you.
@eugeniosolari
@eugeniosolari 4 года назад
Beautiful and entirely moving testimonial, so nice to know about your experience!
@HugeHeart13
@HugeHeart13 2 года назад
😩😭😭😭so good!!! I cried! ❤️ Husband- so what do you get out of Joe? 😂😂😂 Oh hubby, if you only knew. He’s magic!!!
@terbial
@terbial 3 года назад
So honest, what an amazing testimony to this path....thank you 🙏🏼
@jessd7472
@jessd7472 5 лет назад
This is beautiful, thank you for sharing xx
@nuriyaalmaya
@nuriyaalmaya 3 года назад
Absolutely exquisite, so authentic, so heartfelt. Thank you
@ncnc2880
@ncnc2880 4 года назад
Yes not being afraid to shine ✨👏thank you. He’s right u r radiant xxx
@judyactonayala
@judyactonayala 3 года назад
Just bought her book after listening to this! Woot! :D
@makalynnchambers6963
@makalynnchambers6963 3 года назад
May the blessed gods of love light and compassion bless your heart and soul. You are such a beautiful human being. I love you so much right now! 😂🦄🤩
@tomiriskubenbayeva8729
@tomiriskubenbayeva8729 4 года назад
After I've read Harry Potter, I can't help thinking about the phrase of Albus Dumbledore after he spoke to Harry in Kong's Cross station. Harry was dead and they were speaking when Harry at the end asked: "Is this real? Or this's all happening in my head?" And Dumbledore replied: "Of course that's happening in your head, but why on earth that should not be real?!" So, here's kind of a proof for that feeling I have since then, that out imagination is a part of reality (A little bit hard and crazy to explain, but that's just inner feeling of reality)
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