Struggling With Mom Guilt... 

He smells the milk when he’s on you. It’s what they do when they’re around us. You made it 3 months breastfeeding . He’s growing and more than likely going through a growth spurt. You’re doing amazing!! You’re also still going through postpartum. It’s okay!!

I love how she doesn't try and portray the PERFECT pregnancy and postpartum experience like other RU-vidrs.very transparent and honest.

DES I love how transparent you have been with us all these years, a lot of females don’t talk about these topics mainly cause they don’t know how to talk about it or they don’t wanna be judged talking about it!! You are so strong & an amazing mother! Never forget that! 💙💙💙💙💙💙

Awe Des the fact that your feeling guilt over quitting the breastfeeding shows how great of a mom you are..there's mom's out there that won't breastfeed just because there scared there body will never look the same but either way you'll get through this. Yall are new parents and nothing comes easy..wish nothing but the best for you both

OMG I lost it when the scene cut to Juju riding on the Target cart amidst Des having a heart to heart with us 😭😂 but on a real note Des you’re without a doubt a 10/10 mama and what you’re feeling is for suuuure normal! It’s just a phase 😊💕 && KOA IS SO CUTE!

I have 3 boys and I still get mom guilt. Your always wondering if your ever doing enough but the fact that you worry if your making the right choices for your baby goes to show how good of a mom you are ❤️

Thank you for showing raw moments as a mom. It's not easy being a parent, and it's refreshing to see someone else going through similar struggles.

What you’re going through is so common and normal, Des. To be honest anything you do that will affect Koa in some sort of way will result in mom guilt. I went through this with my son- and not only from just having to stop breastfeeding. I suffer from mom guilt to this day when I have to leave him for work, and he’s 2! You can’t say you didn’t try! You pushed yourself and if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay! Koa still loves you and his dad so much. Fed baby is best! You both are doing great!🤍

Hey Des, I'm so glad you addressed this topic. It's the reality of majority of all new mums if not all of them. I went through the same when I had my son but I managed to overcome it with time. I just told myself that I'm deserving of some self-time and I learned to listen to my baby more (in terms of the feeding). Like I'd pay attention to his mannerisms when he's hungry. So I'd feed him the times he'd exhibit these mannerisms, as opposed to feeding him nonstop almost all the time. You're doing great Des❤️🤎💙

When Julius slides by on the target cart after that emotional talk 😂😂😂 you’re doing an amazing job Des! Don’t be so hard on yourself. You and Julius are great parents I can see it ❤️

Girl don’t feel bad it’s a normal thing to have the mom guilt. That’s a way for you and baby to bond together with one another.

Hey Des, you've just noticed that if you hold him a certain way he'll want to nurse, you're finding it out for yourself now, you're doing just fine. You're a brand new mommy and with that comes the fact you'll find more things about what works and what doesn't. You guys are doing just fine, stay positive and continue to support one another. Love you guts! Happy New Year!

I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 7months going into 8 months. I was struggling with this as well but I pushed trough. It gets easier trust me. Specially once you introduce solids at 6month. Whatever you decide to do don’t stress it to much your little boy is healthy and strong that’s all that matters. You got this mommy 😊💕

Destiny! STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! I went through the same thing with my daughter and cried every night wanting to quit and did because I couldn’t take it anymore mentally. you did what you can and formula is not the worse thing!!! Some moms can’t even breastfeed so be proud of yourself baby girl! You’re an amazing mom and I love watching your growth!

Remember “FED is best” I felt the same and had breakdowns also. You are doing great and you’re an amazing mama to Ko. My son is now 14mo old and am just NOW getting my life back on track. As they get older it truly becomes easier.

When she said been a parent is hard sometimes then we see Juju rolling with the 🛒 weeeee 😂 that show is how so important when one is stressed the other helps light things up it’s obvious you balance each other you know ?!! Koa loves you and will love you always no matter what milk you give him ! You such a good mom we know you care ❤️ Happy New Years

I think introducing a bottle sounds like a good idea, to give you a little break too, don't feel guilty, trust your mommy instincts. It will take a few days to adjust but hang in there! You are a fantastic caring nurturing mother. Any child is lucky to have You!

I went through the exact same struggles with my first daughter who is now 6. I wanted to do everything "right" or "natural". I ended up with a c-section and struggling for 3 months to breastfeed.. It got to the point I was extremely depressed and her pediatrician actually suggested we switch to formula. Now I'm less than 2 months away from delivering my 2nd daughter & I'm having such a hard time deciding what to do bc I want to try bf again so bad but I'm afraid I'll fail and beat myself up about it again. Idk why us moms are so hard on ourselves. I hope everything gets better for you guys. Take it easy on yourself ❤

The fact that you’re having the mom guilt indicates that you’re an amazing, great, and perfect mom ❤️ You’re such an inspiration to me Des 💘💘💘

What coffee machine is that? I want it!! Lol

What a blessing that you know that a lot of other moms can relate to your experience. That’s got to be very validating and normalizing. So many women feel they are in it alone. Also good that you recognize how much pressure you’re putting on yourself. A lot of your worries stem from him being small, so you’re naturally anxious. It’d be great for you to join a moms group to get suggestions and direct support. We need a village!! Probably can’t be in person these Covid days, but even on zoom would be good. A mommy and me class. Ask your ob or pediatrician or Google. The housecleaning is secondary. There’s only so much time and energy for everything, and some stuff just has to wait. Try 1 task per day - eg, wash one load or wipe the bathroom counter or vacuum the steps. That’s it! This will soon be a memory and more stressors will arise - forever! Lol Life of a mom. Therapy for your anxiety would be helpful. Best of luck.

The mom guilt just shows how much you care. I think all moms feel that way at some point. I’m a mother of 4 and I’ve felt mom guilt for numerous reasons. Especially after having my 3rd cause she was the same way. From what I see you are doing an amazing job and whatever you decide to do will be fine. ❤️

love how transparent you are. you’re a amazing mother! i totally understand the mom guilt. i just gave birth 3 days ago & my baby boy has trouble latching & it’s been so hard for me because breast feeding was something i really wanted to do. but you got this! a fed baby is a fed baby weather if it’s breast feeding or formula. don’t let this make you feel any less of a mother. you got this!! oxoxo

Girl you feed him plenty!! If he’s hungry trust he will let you know. But I’m so proud of you for coming this far ❤️ it’s a struggle but you tried and that’s all that matters. You got this.

I was literally going through the same thing last year, If you feel you can’t do it anymore, don’t do it. Breastfeeding is great and an amazing opportunity but it’s also mentally and physically exhausting especially if you’re dealing with postpartum depression. Do what you feel is best for your family 🥰

Destiny i seen your eyes and soul change, you were meant to be a mom. You’re doing a great job & thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Love you guys 💕❤️

My baby girl is just 6 days old and every time I take a shower or do anything not involving her, I feel guilty. I’m so glad you spoke about this. I keep reminding myself I’m doing great. And Des, you’re doing great too. Hang in there mama. 🧡

Literally only started watching y'all yesterday (delayed i know!🤗) so new subbie here ❤ And don't worry ma, mom guilt is absolutely normal. All these "bad" postpartum feeelings you have, is valid and normal. As long as you know your baby is being loved, fed, nurtured despite how you're feeling inside, it's all that matters. But don't invalidate your feelings. It's okay Des. This too shall pass. I love you ma! ❤❤❤

Your gonna have rough days but remember that your not alone. You have an amazing supporting cast around you. You and Julius are amazing parents. Keep it up Des.

Des, It’s so nice that you’ve been so vulnerable towards us. ❤️ but for me I had postpartum depression early on because of the fact that I was trying to balance everything and I couldn’t and I was in a really dark place and I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it out of it and I just knew that if I kept pushing towards trying to breast-feed on top of everything else I was feeling I probably wouldn’t be alive today because that’s how bad the postpartum depression was for me. And even to this day there’s some days where I wish I could’ve had that bond with my baby but I know ultimately that it was the best decision to formula feed my daughter. ❤️ and as long as your baby is fed then it is going to be OK. 💖You are such a great mom I love seeing your videos of Koa on Instagram. You’re family is beautiful and you’re doing great 👍🏾💕☺️

Love you so much destiny, I had this struggle as well. But for me my body stopped producing milk. No matter how much I pumped or fed my daughter. My supply just didn’t want to be there. It was tough, I felt like a failure. And I wasn’t giving my baby what she needed. But you said it best! Food is food! And having a supportive partner makes it easier. I love you guys so much. You are such a great mom destiny. Formula or breast milk doesn’t define that❤️

Mom guilt is such an overwhelming feeling and unfortunately doesn’t go away, it shows that you are a great mom. parenting is extremely hard and I felt the exact same way when I switched to formula at 3 months but I couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted control over my body and wanted more help from my husband. If your having this guilt it just means your doing it right. You nourished your baby for three whole months which is amazing! You are a rockstar.

Des, trust me, the mom guilt lasts forever and it just shows how great of a mom you are! I breastfed my daughter for a year, but if I would’ve went off of how I was feeling mentally because of it, I would’ve been done at 3-6 months. Take care of you too! A fed baby is best! 💙

After about a week of combo feeding I felt so much relief from mom guilt. I found it also made me motivated to keep pumping bc the pressure of “is he getting fed enough” was gone ! you got this mama! you know what’s best for your baby AND mental health !

2022 is destiny’s energy, I swear! She’s such a beautiful human. Love her energy.

I love how open you are. As a single mom I have mom guilt and my daughters are 2 and 5. You’re a wonderful mom. It’s ok to have some guilt.

Awww honey you got this. I can’t imagine how you feel, but I can relate to your emotions. Just pray for guidance from God. Just find something to de-stress yourself. Juju is behind you and supporting you. Just keep it together and know we are supporting you as well.

I love that u come on here and talk to us wish we could be friends in real life! You’re an amazing mom, and you’ve been doing so good taking care of him! Love you 🤍

Girl I can relate it gets easier I’m 4 months postpartum and I wish I could just go to formula but my mom guilt kicks in but thank god I just pump and bottle feed because I couldn’t do it. Remember you need to be okay first for you to be able to be the best mom do what works for you ❤️

My breastfeeding journey with my first born was EXACTLY the same way and although I loved being able to feed my son from my breast, there were days I literally broke down because he was eating so much and I couldn’t give him to anyone to help with feeding. It was overwhelming for me. Don’t feel guilty even if you switch to formula. Hang in there!

You’re doing an AMAZING job, this stress is what is what we gotta worry about- as long as baby boy is being fed we all know you love Koa so much

I’m so glad you talk about your struggles. I never had anyone to talk to about all of the new mom stuff that happens and it was so hard. Just know that everything you are feeling is NORMAL and even though it’s hard not to feel guilty just know that feeling that way means you’re such a good momma and that you just want the best for baby Koa and yourself. He may be going through a growth spurt already which I know seems early, but it happens, sis! Just keep doing what you feel is best! You’re doing a FABULOUS job! Love you sis! 😘

Mama give yourself a break. You’re doing amazing. As long as baby is eating that’s all that should matter not what he’s fed thru. We ALL get mom guilt no matter what it is, my babies are 5 & 9 lemme tell you it never stops. Just shows how much we care and love them! Just don’t be so hard on yourself please. 💕

It's ok Des...you're not alone! My son was born at 32 weeks, he's a preemie. He was in the NICU for 3 weeks. I pumped for the first three months of his life and due to stress I stopped producing. I switched to ready to feed formula and he accepted it just fine. You guys are a wonderful team. Whatever you decide on, it'll be ok and so will baby boy. Being a mama is hard but you're doing a great job! ❤

My third child and first daughter was the exact same way. She wouldn’t even take a bottle. I spent so much money on different bottles and she never took any of them. She never took a pacifier. So the struggle was real. I basically became a human pacifier for her. And that lasted for 15 months. I couldn’t even switch her to formula because she refused a bottle. So my life was consumed with her for a good minute. Being a mom is stressful but just remember it doesn’t last forever. They’re only little for so long. I wouldn’t trade those stressful 15 months for nothing. Now she’s 3 and my best friend. So it was all worth it.

We all go through it mama. Shoot my oldest son is 19 away at college and I still have mom guilt. When he first left for school I felt so guilty that he was so far away and on his own. And he got super home sick I just wanted to go pick him up lol. But you got this girl. It gets easier. Koa is doing amazing you and juju are doing amazing. It does get overwhelming just take some deep breaths. God Bless hun.

Hey Des, I understand completely how you're feeling, but don't feel guilty about it. You did a great thing breast feeding for 3 months. He's going to still get the great Benefits from the time you spent breast feeding. I stopped breast feeding my daughter at 3 months old and she grew up healthy as ever, she'll be 18 next year. So no worries you are doing great as a mom. You're the best mom for little Koa. Hope this helps a little.

I haven’t even watched yet .. but commin from a single mom with 2 boys .. it can be hard at times but I’m sure your doing the best ! Keep your head up girl .. your doing your thing 💚💚

I can relate to that opening scene soooooo much! I put so much pressure and mom/wife guilt on myself, but it makes such a difference having a GOOD support system, someone to reassure you YOU ARE DOING GREAT, AND MORE THAN ENOUGH. Sounds like you are lucky enough to have that. Breathe, and have grace with yourself YOU GOT THIS!

Girl, I feel you 100%!!!! I breastfed my daughter for 3 months, and that’s it, switched to formula. My boobs felt like slaves! 😭 but hey! That’s 3 WHOLE MONTHS!!!!! To go from being just you, and transitioning to taking care of a baby and it being on YOU To feed the baby, it gets really overwhelming, do what’s best for YOU! Baby will get fed regardless ☺️ happy momma happy baby! Plus it’ll be easier for Julius to help you and help get that weight off of your shoulders! Be proud of yourself des! You did great !

I went through that just a weeks ago :( I feel you 100%!!! My baby was in the NICU for a month, and I had to just pump in order for her to b able to take my breast milk. And it’s been so hard. I always thought I was going to have a semi smooth breastfeeding journey . Once she was breastfeeding at home, it got to that point , I’m sure she was going through a growth spurt because she was clusterfeeding as well. And it’s HARD. I tried to pump / breastfeed all at the same time and I felt like I couldn’t keep up 😭 all I can say that with time , you will get through it. Because there no words that people could tell me that would make me feel better :/. So we just tried to give her my breastmilk through a bottle during the day, and supplemented with formula through the nights ! That’s way she would still get my milk most of the time. And that’s worked for us, so maybe you can try it as well later!

It’s ok mama. That’s completely normal. Your doing an amazing job & we are all very proud of how far you’ve come since the beginning of the journey. We love you!! ❤️

You got this des! I just had my baby on the 11th and it’s a struggle breastfeeding constantly. Don’t feel bad ❤️ you got this des!!!

Awe Des, bless your heart! Three months in breast feedings is a great accomplishment!! I've heard that even if you breast feed for a couple of weeks to six weeks it's super beneficial. I never did breast feed my son (but that was way back in 1988 lol). Being a first time mommy is so stressful (from always worrying and not knowing what's wrong with babies when you can't get them comforted) it's so emotional, especially because of our crazy hormones. You're a wonderful mother and your doing such a great job!! Deep down in your heart, you know what's best for your baby and what's best for you as well. Please always ask questions or express your struggles/ concerns whenever you need to and if you start getting really depressed, please reach out and get help without feeling guilty, because postpartum depression is something that's so serious, many people don't even realize how serious, in common it is, and a lot of people don't go get help with it. We all are always here for you, it's great to get tips/ advice from other mommies. Thankfully you also have your Mom and your husband to discuss thing's with as well. There is nothing wrong at all with you switching to bottles and or to formula. Just ask your Dr for their opinion for what baby formula they think would be the best to have him on. My son had a extra sensitive tummy and would vomit so much, we had to change his formula and it sure did help him, thankfully. I hope you're getting the rest that you need mamas, it's so important and has a lot to do with our emotions too. You're so beautiful Des and you have a beautiful little family. (((Hugs))), Prayers and lot's and lot's of love to YOU!! 😍🙏💝💞 XOXO

I ended up stopping at 8 weeks girl and my baby switched perfectly fine. If you end up having to switch it's OKAY your baby will love and appreciate you regardless.

You got this Des! Don’t feel bad, I know it’s very hard to deal with this type of topic but what matters is you being okay first ❤️

Des! I think you’re the only mother I’ve seen on RU-vid that is open to admit this. All the mothers I’ve seen seem like they’ve gone through breastfeeding so easily. I went through the exact same thing as you. Ultimately I knew it was best to do formula because I just really never knew if my daughter was eating enough and pumping didn’t work for me either. I cried knowing I would have to give up the beautiful bond I would share with her. However, the thought of me potentially leaving her hungry because of my own decisions made me turn to formula. Breast milk is always better but he won’t be drink formula much longer, he will start having solids sooner too. But whatever decision you make won’t make you any less of a great mother you already are. ❤️‍🔥

Its okay for you to have these feelings Des! Its perfectly normal and at the end of the day as long as baby is fed thats all that matters. Dont stress yourself out .. maybe try pumping and have a little supply going and see if that works... i did that with my twins for a few months before it just became too overwhelming. BUT YOU GOT THIS!!!

I know EXACTLY what you’re going through! I’m going on 8 months of breastfeeding right now & have been going through the same these past few months. It was so hard too because baby wouldn’t even take formula until literally a week ago & LET ME TELL YOU!!LIFE HAS BEEN SO MUCH EASIER! I still nurse her to sleep every night & through the night but during the day it’s 90% formula

Awe, girl I totally understand what you are going through.. my son is the exact same way, don’t feel bad it’s totally normal to have mom guilt. you got this mama you’re doing amazing! 💕

I was in this same boat with my son. I actually wanted him to still get my milk so I went from breastfeeding to pumping and just giving him the bottle and that made the world of a difference for me and my mom guilt. My son was premature so I definitely get it

I’m a Latina and we start introducing solid food at 4 months. I just had my third baby and is basically easier bc I know how it goes. But you being a first time mom it can be overwhelming, stressful and the mom guilt is real. But is normal. Based on what you’ve said you make enough to feed him. Trust me his getting full, but babies tend to over do it even when they aren’t hungry for comfort. Mines puke bc they are full, but they want to stay latched. As I said above, start the solid food at 4 months. Avocado, potatoes, bananas mashed of course and give it to him in between feedings so he can be full and give you a rest for the boobs to get full again. Trust me is the best break once they start eating real food. Formula tends to mess with their stomach especially if their use to your breast milk. So I was always hesitant and never gave none of my kids formula. Plus boob milk has all the nutrients and there is nothing like it. You’re doing a great job don’t think you aren’t. Things just get better with time ❤️ happy New year and Happy late Christmas 🎄 Koa is a beautiful boy 😍

I can’t imagine having a dog that still acts like a puppy, waking up with a baby every couple hours, and trying to train a new puppy!

I am with you on this!! My son never latched on the breast so I decided to exclusively pump full time. It was HARD! I was doing it every 3 hours to keep my supply up and eventually I was pumping enough so I was donating to four months other babies as well 💗 I did it for a 10 months. Don’t feel bad girly your doing your best 😊 God bless you

It is totally normal. And I’m glad to see so many of us here can attest to it! I have 4 daughters, and every single one was fed differently. I felt guilty for the ones I didn’t nurse all the way through (as I had planned). The pressure to do what’s “right” is REAL. But, it comes down to you. You did it for 3 months! Congrats to that! If it’s time to move to formula, then go for it. Just remember, Baby will feel everything. I can assure you, breast-fed/formula- he will be just fine!! ♥️♥️

Going through the same thing rn, my baby just turned 4 months and it’s so hard to keep up with just exclusively pumping but mom guilt so I wanna try and keep up with it until at least 6months

Tip: Try to find time to pump. It will help a whole lot. That way you're not the only one feeding him. You will have more free time because Julius will be able to bottle feed him. I know it's hard but you can do this. Either way you're doing a good job. Motherhood can tough.

they literally balance and complete eachother so well🤍. as much as i love each of them i love them for eachother

Yes girl, anytime mama is around baby he can definitely smell the milk. I went through this as well and doctor told my husband to introduce the formula to baby she he didn’t smell my milk. Goodluck love you’re doing amazing!

Destiny! I hope you read my comment. I literally feel it on my heart because I went through this exact thing. My son would cry if anyone else held him but me and then constantly wanted to feed, like Koa. it was overwhelming and I wheened him into formula: biggest regret. For me personally, which you seem to be sentimental and emotional like I am, that’s why I feel so urged to tell you this: I regretted it and felt so guilty afterwards. They just grow up faster than you can imagine and before you know it, he will be transitioning to solids and baby food. (4-6 months old) happens in the blink of an eye! I would do anything to go back and bf for as long as I could or atleast until the baby food transition. It’s just so precious and once it’s gone it’s gone. You’re an amazing mom and doing so good and this is solely just my opinion. I hope it comes off with love and support as that is my intention. God bless you and your beautiful family and I’m rooting for you! 💙🙏🏽

Omgg des I was literally in the same boat as you, our births were pretty much the exact same and my son was in nicu for 2 weeks, I tried breastfeeding him when we got home and it was toooooo much on my mental health so my husband and I decided it was time to switch to fully formula and my 5 month old son is thriving now! I was diagnosed with ppd 3 weeks pp, and I remember after the diagnosis I went back to the car and cried for 3 hours w my son on my chest, my husband had to come after work to see us cos we were still in the parking lot of where our doctors are. Honestly just do what’s right for YOU. Kids / babies will adapt, this is the exact reason why formula exists, for women like us who can’t breastfeed. The fact that you’re experiencing this guilt shows that you’re a GOOD MUM. I’m so happy the stress is off me to feed my son, and I really couldn’t be happier with how we’re going now. It’s hard, mum guilt is something that I don’t think will ever go away, but happy mum = happy baby. Things will work out mama !!! They honestly don’t tell u this shit when you’re pregnant but once you switch you will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

To the person reading this: Even though I don’t know you, I wish you the best of what life has to offer ❤️

Hi Destiny. I know this reply is late, but I just wanted to say that nursing is hard. My daughter was killing me. It actually hurt to the point that I was gritting my teeth. I switched to formula when she was 4 months old. Best decision ever. She slept so much better and I wasn't always stressing over how much she was getting. I was able to get her on a much better schedule which was better for both of us!! You have already done the most important part.... He has a better immune system from your colostrum and he had clearly bonded with you. Don't beat yourself up or wear yourself out by nursing non stop!! You are doing a great job. And Julius.... Good looking out. I know you've been helping out with things Des doesn't have time for. Stick together and y'all will be fine. 💙

Des , I appreciate you being so real with your RU-vid videos. The advice you need is to put your baby boy on a feeding schedule. Every two hours is usually the normal feeding time. Your baby boy isn’t starving if your feeding him for a good 30-1hr each feeding. He obviously wants but doesn’t need your breast anytime after a good feeding. Meanwhile keep him occupied and don’t put him to bed while nursing because then he will think he has to have your breast in order to fall asleep. There’s a lot of different ways to put baby to sleep and get him used to a routine if you plan on nursing. I love watching your family and Its always so good to put your struggles out there because you have thousands of people loving you and could give you so many different ways to help you. ❤️ take care beautiful your definitely doing a great job your baby is always going to love you no matter if you choose formula or not🤍 You have to be the one in control even though it’s the toughest thing to do.❤️

This is SO NORMAL for first time Mom’s! I am a mom of 3 boys... I breastfed for 4 months my last baby cause I felt so overwhelmed with the hormones and so much more!!! I didn't have my body to myself in 4 years. Putting yourself first & your sanity is HUGE! My first born has autism and there is always something I worry about or I'm hard on myself on... always remind yourself that God gave you HIS child to take care of and be the mother of and what you're doing is more than ENOUGH!!! Mothers are so hard on themselves! If i could go back, one thing I would tell myself is to give myself more 'mommy time' whether it's 30 minutes or an hour a day to myself to do something I enjoy or to even just re-set my mind and remind myself who I am. You both are doing awesome !

I appreciate you’re honesty & transparency. You’re doing great Des. You’re a new mom and you’re and amazing mother already 🙏🏽 everything you feel and think is normal. No matter what our moms & all the women before us said about being new moms,the hard times and the good times . No matter how much they said it, We as mothers will always feel this way. Always 2nd guess ourselves& If were doing enough. And I believe it’s because we’re just built different. As women and even more so as mothers. We’re built with emotions and worries of everyone in our lives. Everyone but ourselves. Which really we slowly learn is the most important. If moms not right, nobody can be right. Because we are the anchors for our family. & sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves. And I wish I had someone like you 13 years ago when I just had my daughter right out of high school. Someone to watch in secrecy in the random hours of our minds wandering . I luckily had a great support system & Ohana . As you do as well. But no matter how much support & love we have surrounding us, it’s hard being a mom. Mentally , physically & emotionally. (Us poor women and all the wonderful feelings were blessed with 😂 💪🏼) BUT that’s what makes us, Mothers. We doubt, we feel, we hurt , we worry. And most of all, we LOVE. We’re just built different, & it’s ok. We’re built rough 💪🏼 Sorry this wasn’t a novel full of tips & what to do.😅just one mother to another giving you the reminder & reassurance that you deserve. You survived . You’re living it. And you’ll get past it . And the only remedies our Keikis, (kids in hawaiian) truly want and need, is their mother. ❤️ Keep your head up sister and enjoy the ride. Postpartum is real tough , but you’ll get through it all. One step at a time sister. You’re beautiful with a beautiful family. And you’re blessed with an amazing other half. You both deserve the reassurance of how amazing you’re as parents 😊 Novel finished 😅😬 Love your Hawai’i Ohana 😍😘 always

sweetie your mental health is most important! there's nothing wrong with switching to formula especially if it's affecting you negatively . i can relate, my son is one now, just turned one in december. i still struggle with mom guilt i don't think it'll ever really go away. i am still having a hard time trying to keep my house perfectly clean/ laundry ect so i promise you're not alone. everything you said is very normal! bless you and your family!! love toy guys 🤍

I’ve been breastfeeding for almost 8 months and i went through the same thing and sometimes still do but I pushed through the first couple months and it gets easier after 4 or 5 months. It’s just about taking it a day at a time and knowing you’re doing your best! I’ve wanted to stop several times and before I knew it now im this far and I’m slowly feeling like my journey is ending and I’ll miss it forever so my advice is to switch slowly, it’ll give you and your baby the time needed and be proud however far you make it. It’s ok to put yourself first sometimes, Ive struggled with that too, much love juju & des💓💓

Mama destiny, the beauty about being in mama hood is we can support & relate to each other through it all. Mom guilt is real. I feel even more real when it’s with your first born. Know you are not alone 🖤 as a mom of 2 under 2 I exclusively breastfed my first born till she was one, she never had a bottle. The mental toll you are talking about is definitely rough.. so I’m rooting you on 🖤 with my 2nd babygirl I took the opportunity to formula feed.. it was not EASY but I knew what my breastfeeding journey was like for a year with my firstborn.. I literally cried when I chose to formula feed my 2nd but I knew it was just the mommy guilt talking.. there is absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing mama, your mental and physical health is so important as a mommy & you shouldn’t feel too guilty. Try not to 🖤 A fed baby is a healthy baby 🖤 we learn as we go and we should always take care ourselves too, we deserve to 🖤 stay up mama, you got this 🖤

Please do not beat yourself up about it. Breastfeeding can be a struggle for everyone. It was extremely difficult for me with my son at first from getting him to latch to feeling like I’m not producing enough to satisfy his needs so for the first week or two I was doing both formula and breastfeeding. I breastfed til about 6months til I finally started weening him off. No matter how far you get you should be feel accomplished that you were able to experience it and provide that for your baby but also that bond!! It stays forever! My son is 3 years old and still loves his mama over anyone. You’re an amazing mom do not feel guilty about wanting to do things or having that freedom of not always having him on the breast. Keep up the good work mama and whatever you decide Koa will love you forever still and stay fed and healthy ! Can’t wait to see what you guys have in store for 2022!! ❤️

Omg, every👏🏼thing👏🏼you👏🏼just 👏🏼said!! I experienced the same thing to the tee. I’m also a first time mommy. I cried for 3 months straight because I worried about the same things you are worrying about and are feeling during this time. Oh man. It’s so much. But You are an amaaaazing mommy. Just know that. I know what you’re feeling, but supplementing does not change that. YOU’RE AN AMAZING MOMMY!

Awww des you’re already so amazing at being a mama. You’re doing so great all this is so normal. I have 3 girls. My first I only breast fed 2 weeks. I had no idea what I was doing and I didn’t have enough milk. I didn’t know how to make myself produce more or anything. And the guilt was insane. I’d cry and cry like I failed at being a whole mom. By the time I had my 3rd I realized how ridiculous I was at making myself so guilty about things I couldn’t control. No matter what koa is going to be so well taken care of . I promise ♥️♥️♥️

Baby girl dont stress out, i went though this too. It's normal for us mama's. Breastfeeding is so overwhelming and sometimes makes us so depressed it effects our emotions and then we can't enjoy motherhood as much as we should. You have to do what makes you happy and less stressed! You are not failing! You are making the right decisions for you and your family 😘

The mom guilt is completely normal mama . I felt soooo guilty because I gave up breastfeeding when my daughter was 4 months old . And it was the hardest decision for me to make . I cried about it for weeks feeling like I failed but I didn’t fail . It’s a natural normal thing . My daughter was a 34 week Premie and latching was tough and I was overally drained and stressed . You’re doing great mama ! Be proud of yourself ! Your body just supplied milk for 3 months straight !!! Be proud !

Des honey, every single momma has went through mom guilt. It’s normal. Just means you’re a great momma. Also babies go through cluster feeding at or around 3 , 6 and 9 months. The 3rd month is the hardest. It’s completely normal. All 3 of my kids did the same thing, & I’m only 23 . For sure it was rough, but what was even tougher was getting through that cluster feeding period without feeling the need to give up. If you can get through that you’ve accomplished everything. It’s very normal & you got this. & even if you feel it’s better to stop, that’s fine too. You DID IT! You’re an amazing momma babe. If you decide to switch to formula, that’s fine. I promise it’s fine. I started formula at 6 months with my first son, 3 months ( cluster feeding was too much for me ) with my daughter my second born. And 9 months with my second son. Always remember, fed is best. That’s right. Also, enfamil gentle ease is said to be the closest thing to breast milk with nutrients. All my babies did great on it. Much love to you, baby Koa & Julis ❤️

Girl! Let me tell you.. the mom guilt is REAL. It doesn’t go away.. but that’s what makes you an amazing momma!! Both of my babies were breast fed (the first for 4 months and the second for 5 WEEKS!) and I will tell you.. there we’re so many reasons I was happy when I stopped breast feeding. It is very easy to loose yourself when you become a mother. After all, you are the one your baby depends on the most. Along with feeding there are so many other things you have to do.. I mean you are literally keeping a whole entire human alive! With my second born I had PPD. One of the reasons I did was that I really just felt like I was loosing myself. I didn’t feel like anything was mine. It even my own body. I just felt like a human milk machine and nothing more. When I decided to switch, it was one of the best feelings I had since becoming a mother. I was so proud of myself for listening to my body, my mind. I realized that FED was best. My babies were not going to to be any less than a child that was breast fed for longer. My babies had full bellies. They became more independent. & other people got to experience the joy of feeding them! I had so much more help. It was of course a hard choice. I had major mom guilt, but once I realized how happy my baby was.. and how happy I was… Nothing else mattered! You will feel the same way. You are AMAZING parents. I love watching y’all’s videos. Koa is so lucky to have you! ❤️

Don’t worry babe! I’m literally crying while you were crying. I was on the same boat. I had my first baby 2020 & My son was born 6 weeks premature and never latched so I ended up pumping for 3 almost 4 months. You might be able to try pumping to elongate the breastfeeding for a little longer without feeling so much pressure and what not. But if that’s not an option & Do not worry!! Everything will be just fine. Fed is best. We don’t need a stressed mama the baby can sense it.But I’m so glad that Juju can help make you forget a little and just make you laugh. Love that you were able to come on here and show us this side that not a lot of ppl talk about 💗💗💗

It’s so crazy to think that you feel alone because trust me, you’re not!! My son just turned 4months and I’ve been feeling the same way i almost felt like I was getting post partum depression because of how guilty I was feeling about not breastfeeding… tbh you’re his mom, you’re going to parent how you want to parent, there is no right or wrong to feed your child as long as they are getting fed. Use the milk you have in the freezer and give him the formula to start weaning him into the formula. You got this!! 💕

Felt that mom guilt before.. I think every breastfeeding mom is going through that feeling a couple times. They also do cluster feeding to up your suply because they need more milk. I know it’s difficult to keep up with stuff when he is like this. The thing I kept in mind was, I can clean later when he sleeps but this time and moments I can’t get back. Also the bonding moments when feeding is so amazing. I think I have said 20 times like today I stop I am tired off it but when it really comes doen to that you can’t stop because you love the moments too. I nursed her till 22 months. There wasn’t any milk anymore because of pregnancy so she didn’t want the boob anymore. Try to remember the positive things about it when you’re feeling down. And when you do have to switch to formula, that’s also ok! Fed is best. You got this! ❤️

Girl you got this! As long as he is fed you are good! Make sure you take care of yourself ! Your hormones are all over the place and your baby needs you mentally good as well. Therapy is very helpful as well! I have been there too girl and that shit ain’t a JOKE. Y’all are so cute. Wishing y’all the best! You’re right you know, being a parent is super fun to me , but that shit is super hard as well. Take your time, we are all just trying to figure it out .

Hey des, it’s totally ok to give him a formula. You’re only human at the end of the day and you’re allowed to feel like this. This is very much normal. I’m also a new mom and I’ve been feeling the exact same way. It’s ok to feel like this destiny. You’re a really good mama. Don’t ever ever ever doubt that. ♥️♥️ Koa is so lucky to have you.

Your son is GORGEOUS! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!🙏🏽🙏🏽🥰🥰

Don’t feel guilty, your made it to 3 months. I pumped for 2 weeks and ended up in the hospital with post partimos preeclampsia. Lost my supply and had to formula feed my baby. It’s okay to formula feed him. He’ll be fine and will grow big and strong. Your doing a beautiful job. He precious and your amazing. Keep it up.

I understand what your going through my baby is the same way. He always wants to cluster feed but he just wants comfort which is hard on us. But supplimenting is always an option for us we need a break too and you dont need to feel bad about it. Cluster feeding doesnt last forever, stay strong. But whatever you choose you are still the best mom for baby ❤

DESTINY I WAS THE SAME BUT just remember your mental health is worth the supplementing. it doesn’t mean you are a failure. FED is best. i’ve been breastfeeding 2 years and it’s harder and harder to quit now. You need to remember that in order to be the best mom you can be you have to take care of yourself first. it’s not selfish. you’re amazing and doing so good. 💗

I felt like I was the only one feeling like this 😓😭 I have my first baby and I’m not nursing or pumping anymore and it was the hardest. I feel like I’m not needed anymore and it makes me sad.. 😞 I feel like, “what sets me apart from any other person now??” If I was you I would do a combination of nursing and formula. That way you don’t feel the guilt and you’ll still have that bond 💛💛💛 either way you’re a great mom

DES!!! Ive been through it for 7 months! My baby was small at birth and i really wanted to breastfeed!! I cried à lot. Worried a lot. And finaly after 7 month i decided to pump exclusively. It help my mom guilt i still feel like im giving my best to my baby but i can still catch a break when i need it! GIRL fed is best and your mental health is so so important ❤️

Hi Des 🌺 It's normal when they're this tiny, don't worry. It's soon gonna feel easier in tops a month when he sleeps longer in and eats more at the same time and starts playing. It's a beautiful thing that your baby wants to be so close to you (I know someone who's child is rejecting he's mom). It's an amazing bond 💕 and the comfort for the baby's psyche is very important. Don't give up❣ No formula is as healthy as a mothers milk. Every little cold or flue you had in all your life, your body made antibodies and you're passing all that goodness over to your baby to have a strong immunsystem. Children that breastfeed as long as possible rarely get colds and are the healthiest babies. You're building his foundation that he's going to have throughout his life. Plus I haven't seen one formula that I could feel that is throughout healthy. Most have cows milk, gluten or high fructose corn syrup (you'll see its real bad stuff when you research it) and the nutrition is nowhere close to your breast milk (the soil today barely have mineral compared to 100 years ago. Hang in there mommy 💪🏽💗🌸

I worry a whole lot too I have to constantly talk myself out of my mom guilt my son is 1 month old and I have 3 year old twins & keeping up with everything has been hectic to say the least but I just have been telling myself it's ok if things aren't perfect a house is meant to get messy it's a place of living, I always say I'm trying to catch up with the laundry but truth is laundry is never ending there is a million things I beat myself up about everyday if they are not close to perfect and I realized that I am sucking all the joy out of my life by worrying to much, I know I will never stop worrying but Im still learning to let the little things go, best advice to stop and take a breather from time to time, have talks with yourself and redirect your focus. ❤️ Best of wishes to you and your family.

DES…. I had the SAME mom guilt for the SAME reasons. My baby is now almost 2 years old now and what I’ve learned is that if you have mom guilt it’s only because you’re a good mom. Do not feel bad for supplementing with formula. When I finally did, my life got SO MUCH easier and I feel like I even became a better mom for my baby because I had more time and less stress! You’re a GREAT mom and doing what needs to be done is the right thing! You’re rocking this!