I was in that same position 11 years ago and for some reason tonight a lot of things that I've compartmentalized and not dealt with emotionally in the last 20 years started to brew up. I'm normally so good at keeping things bottled up so that things can't hurt me but I just had an utter meltdown 2 hours ago over a miscarriage that my wife and I experienced 7 years ago. I never grieved it. I got so good at putting an issue in a box and setting it on the shelf -- never to deal with it. The bottle nearly ended me after a decade of abuse. Been sober 11 years now. I also was flirting with the business end of a shotgun 11 years ago because I couldn't see a way out. My life is great now, I just became unraveled tonight with unresolved trauma from my drinking days and also some bad times since getting sober. Anyway, as I was wiping my eyes a couple hours ago I noticed my 3x3 DD tarp sitting on a shelf and thought I'd search for some cool setups to distract me. Found your channel and binged a few and then saw this one. Hearing you share your story was just what I needed for my heavy heart tonight. I've never met you, I'm sure I never will, but it felt good to connect with you knowing that we've encountered a very similar impasse in our journey. Thank you.
thankyou for sharing Jim. my dog also saved my life. my husband came home one day while i was too low to want to partake in life and said "come on my friends dogs just had have puppies, i know they will make you smile" i wasnt really a dog person. there were 2 puppies without homes yet. well one of them took a liking to me, was kissing me and everything. he refused to leave my lap and cried at me when it was time for us to go home. 6 weeks later Hooch came home to us and helped drag me out of what i can only describe as hell. he gave me a reason to get out of bed, to get dressed and leave the house. mental health illness is still hidden away far too much. too much is unknown by too many people and the stigma is unbelievable. mental health issues in men especially are not spoken about which makes me angry and sad. my mums attitude around mental health still hasn't changed much, she still believes that you just "get on with it" even though i have suffered with bipolar since my teenage years, though undiagnosed untill in my late 20's, but i strongly believe that is because of the way she was brought up, in an era where these "things" just didnt exist. like you say there is help out there, there are people willing to listen. no matter how bad things seem right now for anyone in that dark place please please reach out to someone. there are always other options.
It is very brave of you sharing this (and I'm in no way being clichéd or patronising). I have considered suicide many times throughout my life since I was a teenager, and I'm now in my early 50s. I am a mental health nurse and have worked in mental health for 26 years now and have helped many others who have been suicidal, even when I've felt the same way as them. The only thins that have stopped me are the thought of what it would it do to my mother and, as in your case, what would happen to my dogs. The problem is, when you get so low, is that you start convincing yourself that others would be better off without you around anymore. Fortunately I'm in a more reasonable state of mind at the moment. You are right that you should try to seek help. The problem is, our generation is notoriously bad at that. ❤
Allen, you're a wonderful man, and you have given so many of us the wonderful experiences of your adventures. This simple humble video gives so much more hope and inspiration that the so called professional videos out there, mate and thats the truth. Hope you're having a Great day sir, hope to meet you on my trip to the UK in the near future. American bushcraft meets UK bushcraft. Cheers.
When I went through my dark time all I could think about was how would my kids feel. Tough times are on the way for all of us and can be depressing but, knowing what's coming and the reason why is a positive feeling.
“Thanks for sharing”, my wife says. I recently found your channel for basha/poncho/camping/knots stuff and like your calm voice. Good stuff. Glad you’re still kicking.
Thank God you decided to take the dog back home. Thank you for sharing this very personal and emotional video. We love you Jim Bob. Stay with us buddy 👍🌻🌞
Thank You for making this video. I am in the funeral industry and see far too many suicides. You are correct that the effects on others is beyond traumatic. I have been watching your videos (along with your mates) for a while now. You have brought me a fair amount of joy. I am very thankful that you made the decision (the right decision) that you did.
Thank you Allan for sharing this. Very honest and very brave. Even if just one person is helped, you’ve done something very positive here. We need more men being brutally honest about mental health. Thanks again.
Took true grit to share that Bro - you really needed to make a big change - takes balls to stop when you're that low and so glad you had your beloved mutt with you! To make the big life change decisions makes you look at what really matters and face the truth of your feelings and you had the balls to cut the crap and go. I thank God you're still with us 'cos I love you to bits .
Thank you for sharing this video, I have read most of the comments and I am saddened and surprised just how many of us have been in that same dark place. What a brave and amazing thing to do, hearing peoples stories brings us all closer together and shows people who are struggling they are not alone. Your videos bring peace, beauty and calm to a hectic and spiteful world and videos like this bring support, hope and understanding that will hopefully reach people that feel there is none. Much love to you chap. You are amazing and I am very grateful that you took your dog home rather than walking the path the black dog tempted you to follow.
My heart goes out to you my friend. You are such a special person and to do a video like this which must be hard but at the same time give some hope to others out there who are experiencing similar issues. You are an amazing person and have our support all the way. ❤
Saw your comment on kents camping channel about you doing an ebay camping trip so thought id check your channel out and this is the first video I watched. Just from the thumbnails of the videos in your list Its easy to see you have some amazing moments and made some great friends. Im so glad you didnt go through with it. I can relate with this video. 18 years ago since my attempt in the woods. Went on to save a womans life who thanks me every year as she went on to have kids, get married and is a wonderful mum. You are totally right about having choices at least if you dont do it. Thank you for this video, its raw and its honest and shows what you can achieve after those moments of darkness. Its good to have you still with us. Im subscribed now.
Living an authentic life pushes you to the edge because that's part of the process. It's a funny thing depression. It can set you free if you ride it or destroy you if you surrender to it. I rode it out and it made a man of me. Long story but a good life should be. Sanity is boring and overrated.
@@jim-bob-outdoors Everybody gets clobbered by life. I chose to keep moving to avoid collapsing in to self pity. But there was one day, just one, where I was suddenly overwhelmed by deep depression out of nowhere and toyed with putting a pistol in my mouth. I was surprised by myself and stepped back to ask why. Then the desire to pull the trigger just evaporated. Near death is something I confronted a few years later. But by then I had a new partner who I later married. We saved each other. Gave each other a reason to live and love. Never give up. Your just giving the devil a free meal. Fuck him. Most people fear change. I embrace it. That is the best advice I can suggest. Change is letting go of shit. Close the door and another opens. Always. No point cowering in the corner of an old life and smearing yourself in your own shit.
Been there and know how dark it can get, thank you for raising the issue as us older men don't talk about it, we're a different generation who need to learn to talk about it. Thanks for starting a conversation... 🙂
Glad you made the right decision mate mans best friend helped to save the day . Keep up the good life and you have many followers that care for you take care and stay strong....colin.
Came here from Facebook to watch your Night cat review video...odd thing is my first thought is I recognise that accent. Sounds familiar to me. I'm originally from around your neck of the woods. Anyway I'm coming across a few men like yourself who have these outdoor channels who have had similar moments in their lives. Me included. A lot of this thing in society and I still think a lot of attitudes towards mens mental health is to ignore it. People just telling you to pull yourself together. There is more help available than there use to be, but not easy to seek help when you are in that black hole and the last thing you want to be doing is talking about your issues and or popping pills. Subscribed to your channel.
Glad you are still here with us Jim. That deep lonely black hole leaves an imprint on your future forever so you do everything you can to make your life better to never be in that situation again. You made the right choice for yourself - glad that dog you loved was there to pull you through the darkest of times.
Very moving words and video, mate. As someone who has also been there I understand. You are right there is more help available now, we just need to look for it. Male suicide is very common. A high number of blokes seriously consider it, many more than people realise. I echo your feelings, we should talk more.
I attempted in 2009. Thanks for speaking out. If more people do, the more people will realize they’re not alone and help is out there. Glad you “failed.”
Thank goodness that Dog was with you. Imagine the stay eof the world without Allan's Mobile Military Surplus gear! Huge respect to you for talking about that and I'm so pleased that you are still here you legend! X
Thank you for trusting your followers with your honesty. My ''day'' job was Community mental health nurse...I so wish that some people had reached out more.
Not the only one mate. Ill tell you my story round a campfire one evening. Suffice to say for now, it led me to helping others deal with mental health problems. You did a good thing posting this. No one need deal with this stuff alone, no matter how alone they may feel. All the best old chap, Alex.
Your Channel has inspired an awful lot of people to follow and respect you, i am so pleased to go online and listen to to one of the most down to earth person on you tube I have subscribed to. If ever i by chance was to listen to or meet anyone on my wild travels who asked me where i got inspiration from to continue my adventures i would mention your channel, good cheer colin.
Thanks for sharing your story Alan, I've had a few dark nights of the soul, but I've got through it, especially when I had my dogs, sadly both gone now. Take care Bud, keep the vids coming.
Well done for making this. My dad comitted suicide, i raised money for suicide prevention... then attempted it myself. Its a cunt of a thing and more people need to be brave and bare all like you habe just done Well done and im glad you are here!
Good message. And happy you made the decision you did. Cause who would teach me about tarps otherwise. I used to suffer from depression in my 20s and I had picked out a high bridge to jump from if I depression went to bad. It was 30min from both home and work. So whatever I was doing on a day, I knew it could all be over within an hour.. always. Somehow knowing this helped me struggling through the depression. I obvious never jumped. And am now 46 and life is quiet good. To younger people reading this, if you feel as depressed as I did, talk to someone. And both exercise and nature walks helps too. So do all three. Exercise, take nature walks and Talk to someone. And know there is a good life after depression.
Such a difficult subject tacked in your usual lovely clear presenting style. So sorry to hear you went through this Allen, but perhaps such an experience makes one stronger - I think that's what came across here. Thanks.
@@jim-bob-outdoors I’m sure someone out there that’s in a bad place watching this will listen and realise things can get better and there is people to talk to 👍🏻
Lost my dad to prostrate cancer and youngest brother to suicide weeks later, he couldn’t cope. Mind blowing for months after, thank goodness for the company of my GSD got through the pain. It’s good to talk, just do it.
Thank you for your honest video Allan, know where your coming from, I'm back with a cpn, higher meds etc, but made the decision to move out the family home, due to shall we say marital difficulties, after 23 years married, ,into a flat with my eldest son, for the first time in ages, things are looking up hopefully, that was the hardest decision I've had to make, if I hadn't have made that decision, I wouldn't be here ,unfortunately with the mental health services so stretched ,your on your own ,until there's a space available, thankfully, samaritians were there, everyday still being here ,is a win ,one foot in front of the other as they say, thank you for sharing Allan, good health and safe travels my friend, cheers craig
JB how did you know what to change and how to change them. I don't see any solution other then I try to stay away from the News! I'll happy your here still.
Courageous and insightful. Thanks. There may be a bit more help around (though it can be a bit patchy) but there IMHO have never been more people in personal distress. We need to come together a bit more and see others as brothers (and sisters, of course).
Thumbs up from me bro. So, good to get an insight into your life path. I have been in that dark pit wanting to die more times than I can count. I've prepped it and all but, no! There are options - like rivers with arteries we're not trapped. Your dog opened a door. Good going. Mark
I did same in gibraltar, was no way out ,so I jumped from the top of the rock ,only to land on a ledge 20 foot down ,broke my leg ,was rescued the had no choice to leave my kids behind and came back to uk .Still suffer with cptsd, but I am so glad I failed .I don't know what you went through, but I know how you felt, I suppose, in a way .
Alan, you’re a good honest Man. We will have that Camp this coming Winter my friend. We will sink a few whilst talking bollocks and putting the world to rights….. I’ll be in touch buddy. 👏👏👏👏
Btw a neighbour of mine topped herself yesterday, never would have thought she would have done it ,some people hide their demons well I suppose. God bless
Hey if you feel like a break.....look me up down here in the badlands of North Cornwall. Stay strong brother. We can look for the beast of Bodmin Moor, lol.
Totally there, it was my dog who stopped me. Of she would've gotten a home during that time when I was trying, I wouldn't be here. Up till now it sounding like the most pathetic reason, but I'm glad I wasn't the only one to survive for a dog. We'll have to compare shit magnet status next time I see you fella... ..
Well its complicated. Every situation is different but the reason I stopped on the day was the dog, simple as that. It gave me time to work out what I needed to do and change my future.
@@emmanuel-_-5092 you need to talk things over with someone. Dont have to be a professional, just a friend you can trust. Unloading to somebody helps a lot.
