@JuergenHholzer This is a good point, although imo both the man and woman need to take turns yielding throughout the relationship for the healthiest outcome. Modern men need to learn temporary submission to their woman, just as modern women need to learn temporary submission to their man. It's dependent on the situation, not a default of the man always being yielded to and the woman always yielding. And of course, if you have a fairly simple, childfree relationship between just the two of you, there's entire weeks and months that go by without any yielding done by either person.
To the older man from another older man. I had this discussion many times with my modern women cousins, sisters, wife, and my sons. Submission is the secret weapon of women. It builds trust, honor, and respect. Most see the word as negative, but i beg to differ. I could go deeper, but I will stop for now.
Submission is a part of our daily lives. We submit to our governments and its laws, employers, the police, our landlord, the banks, teachers, et al. When we board a plane we submit to the pilots, when I seek advice I submit to the advisor. If we are religious we submit to whomever our religious figure is. I do not think submission in and of itself as a word or action is the problem. I think the issue women have is related to the first video you aired in this talk, which is that men need to be worthy to submit to in the first place. Many women have submitted to the wrong men and it has had dangerous consequences. Many women have seen their mothers and grandmothers do the same. They look around them and see their peers suffering in a similar way. The challenge is to select a guy who you trust to submit to. This requires time and patience. Proper vetting and selection minimizes said problems. Love, Love the walking, scenery and good vibes!
@rarebirds8216 I agree with you that both men and women submit to laws, police, employers, etc throughout our daily lives as that's how society works when there's differences in levels of authority. However, in my opinion and experience having a healthy, loving relationship of almost 20 years, there is no authority to submit to. My man is not the government, a law, my employer, my teacher, or my bank...He's my partner, my equal, my lifemate. Should he submit to me as the default dynamic of our relationship? No, because I'm not an authority over him. So I also do not submit to him, because he's not an authority over me. There's nothing wrong with couples who have that dynamic of the man being an authority and the woman being submissive, so long as they both enjoy it. But it's not healthy for everyone, as most people nowadays want to be with someone who can pull the same weight in all aspects of the relationship.
When it comes to your safety you have to submit to his advice and control as he will know better and have the mindset of protector. You women can't protect shit or use children as shields in conflict and danger. That shows in most films too, stick a child in front of her when confronted ! If he says don't cross the road or you'll get hit if you yield to his advice he saves your existence, cross at your peril. Defiance is dangerous at the wrong time for anyone
@@EgalitarianWoman Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I believe in a balanced and healthy relationship, submission often means trusting and allowing my partner to take the lead in certain situations, out of mutual respect, care, and cooperation for the greater good. This is because we will both have our strengths and weaknesses and in some instances I would have to yield to his [authority] because he knows best. It doesn't imply a loss of imy independence or self-worth. As a matter of fact I assert it displays my confidence in both myself and him. This again is based on understanding each other's strengths, preferences, and mutual compromise. Compromise is also a part of a having a healthy relationship. There can't always be two bulls in the pen. That said, both partners may "submit" at different times, depending on the situation or decision-making process. I drew parallels with my examples,-government, teacher, pilot, etc to demonstrate that submission occurs in all aspects of our lives, and in a multitude of ways. Thanks for the exchange.
@rarebirds8216 Just to clarify: Since you believe in a balanced and equal relationship, and submission to you means trusting your man to take the lead in certain situations, then that also means that HE will trust YOU to take the lead in other situations, and will readily submit to you as well?
@@EgalitarianWoman Yes, and I stated it above. I wrote this, "That said, both partners may "submit" at different times, depending on the situation or decision-making process. " I just explained we are two people with different strengths and weaknesses. If I am more experienced in a particular area and can offer sound judgement why wouldn't he trust me to make a decision for us and our family? Why would there be a problem? Like I said above, it is important to vet the right man before committing to a relationship.
A man who asks his wife to tell him what to do is headed for disaster. The reason is because women think emotionally, when using reason is necessary. For example, women do 80% of consumer spending. Submission is necessary for him to curb her spending. Submission isn't a way for her to manipulate him to let her spend excessively.
Love your content. Came by it by accident about a month ago. Listen everyday now. Been married 10 years and still love my wife. I tell her to check out your channel as well. Since your advice is gold! Thank you
I love the 'walk and talk,' Paul. More importantly, your points are absolutely SPOT ON! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject. This is an issue I struggle with In RL. Hearing you say out loud what I am thinking is helpful.
Women have always had Power and Influence going back to Eve but now not only do they want what was God given to Eve But they want what was given to Adam we have always been equal like both sides of a coin, What is one without the other !
i was married for 20 years, i learned just buy what you want, and ask for forgiveness later... now i have been DIEvorced for 25 years, and i have NEVER been happier, EVER....
My mother was mentally ill and psychotic voilent. I always wanted women but was subconsciously terrified of women. I relived the experience, in a Primal Therapy session that I was totally blind too, that healed the compulsive wanting a woman, but backing away from women. I have been divorced for 12yrs. At 60 I am happy single.
Love the walking format and the palm trees . I’m in Arizona and the houses and plants look surprisingly similar. Keep up the good advice Paul thank you ❤
Yes. A lady in her feminine, which is nurturing and "submissive" not mothering, brings out my masculinity, refreshes it, and strengthens me. Of course, my masculinity brings out her femininity where it is natural for her nurturing and "submissiveness". (I don't have her perspective on how that is except a common comment that "it is good/delight to see you".) All of this to just say we both need to be our natural selves for each other to be our natural selves for better life.
I really enjoyed your walking and talking. Your area is beautiful and calming…. Thanks for the words of wisdom. It is so helpful & I will use it in my relationship.💕💕👍🏾👍🏾
Good morning Paul! This was a great sequence. I'm in the gym daily and I finish all my workouts with an hour walk. Being that you went out to walk, had me literally walking with you. Keep this format! It'll be a win-win for you as well. Keeps the heart strong and you'd be more active. Cheers brotha! Kyle
Awesome gesture towards the other fella on the walk…gently pushing him towards greater things. And now he’s rolling around in a convertible. Haha, sweet.
One word: COMPETITION. Modern women have been socialized to COMPETE with men in ALL areas of life. For most of them, it's a zero-sum game. Get this observation through your thick heads, Fellas. 😁
It's a zero loss game. They waste their productive years competiting with men only to become exhausted and alone. Timothy Leary - 'Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.'
You know, I've been enjoying your videos. And Im going to Share what I'll say might be a unique experience. I've been a child of divorce, and I lived with my mother in my earlier years, she was very caring, took me out of public school put me in private school due to i was going to be a statistic, fought a lot, and very problematic. but when i was 13 i moved with my father, cause i expressed that I didn't enjoy the smothering of my mother, though she had my best interest I didn't have a social life, the private school I went too was associated with the church we went to, and it was an adeventist church, so M-F i was in school there, saturday i was at church there and sunday there was a "boy scout like group" that i would go to at the church on sunday, so I was at the same place 7 days a week, she never let me go to friends houses, unless she was there too, (in hind sight its a good thing, being the world isn't good) but when i lived with my father i got some freedom, i had friends, and he didnt smother me, I got jumped a few times, and my father though i was gang affiliated, he didn't care much for my academics, and was very negative. Heck I haven't been to a doctor, dentist till i got a job at 18. But i learned from my father a few things passively, and i felt that if i stay with my mother, i would have probably finished college, much sooner. but i would have probably been a different man idk i would have probably had the dreams fulfilled but i would have been a man with no challenge, or experience. Long story short my experience with both parents a different times yielded lessons that built character. And I had the experience of both parents at a good timing, but i was also afraid of my father growing up, which put me in the scenario of living with him in my teenage years. But I honestly don't regret a single thing as my father acknowledge, that he was proud of me later in years, at age 27, but there was pain behind him saying that. as he knew that he's been negative.
Reconnecting with my ex after twenty years… she now understands that if she stays within her righteous femininity it stirs and generates more of my righteous masculinity, and I want to do more and more for her without her having to ask. …At last she now gets it.
It’s true about mothers giving sons a hard time. I’ve witnessed this many times over the years. It’s even WORSE if the son is named after the father. 😢
The thing is that because they have raised on a diet of disney n sex n city . They want the best of all worlds but are unwilling to admit they been sold a lie.
Great discussion 💯 on point bro if 10 percent of black women take this advice we will have enough black families to get us through the coming disaster. It's like Noah's ark the one that don't listen will perish.
@askanolderman yes I agree with the definition of a single parent. The point I was trying to make was that single parent does not mean no father figure. My ex is a single parent, but I'm definitely in my child's life.
Seeing the negative is seeing the flaws in a plan and preparing for it to succeed. The amount of women 'just-do' then say 'I hope it works out' . Hope don't me s**t , it doesn't make up for good logic, planning & probability of success.
Since we are getting women with children already it is hard for them to trust a man enough to submit so they tend to look out for themselves and kids first instead of the overall household which includes the man providing it. This makes it hard to trust a woman to have have your back all the women i my friends, family have dealt with always comes taking about a back up plan and that plan never includes the current man they are with
I've been watching the "I love Lucy" show. That show was written with a strong male figure (Ricky) and a submissive respectful wife (Lucy). She would push the boundaries (for the sake of comedy) however Ricky would reel her in. There's episodes where when Ricky was correctly Lucy and she would call him sir. Well if you get a chance watch for yourself.
Better imo to not yoke yourself to any man who thinks he has to roar. I don't want a beast, a monster, an animal as my lifemate. I want...and thankfully have...a human man who is an adult. He's both logical and emotional, just like me. In almost 20 years together he has NEVER once roared at me. And I would immediately lose all respect for him if he did. Neither of us are submissive, neither of us roar, we TALK like grown-ups to solve our issues.
I am glad you have found your perfect mate, not all relationships are the same. It sounds like you are a feminine woman who does not require her man to “roar”. Unfortunately not all men are that fortunate.
@@EgalitarianWoman I would also add that the roar does not have to be literal at all and by analysis, your comment that “neither of you are submissive.” Is an indication that this man can in fact “roar” if he needs to and that you subconsciously recognize that and have been smart enough thus far not to test that. Further, for your place. You have seemingly submitted while understanding again that this is a man that does what needs to be done so there is no need to challenge him. Meanwhile, you know that if things go sideways you can perhaps steer the ship from behind. This notion that you would not respect a man who feels the need to roar is a contextual presumption that a “roar” is to present as disrespectful or belligerent. Being able to talk like grown ups is simply the result of the relationship being properly balanced and yes this is probably the ideal marriage and relationship that we might hope both men and women aspire to. I’m sure our host can speak more to this or clarify further in another of his fantastic videos or discussions.
@wilbignal Anyone can roar. Yes, my man can roar. I can roar too. However, to do so to one's partner is disrespectful and juvenile. You are very incorrect regarding the idea of me having a "place" or being "smart enough not to test" him. Neither of us has a "place"...we are equals, partners, equivalent to each other in intelligence and most abilities. I have not submitted to him because there is no reason to. Likewise he has not submitted to me because there is no reason to. I do what needs to be done just as much as he does, and if I'm being honest, I do slightly more. He doesn't steer the ship, we take turns doing so. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a dynamic where the male is the default captain/leader...rather, we are more akin to business partners who both own 50% of the company.
@askanolderman Thank you, yes I am very lucky to have found him, as he is lucky to have found me. However I am not a feminine woman...I'm actually the more stereotypically masculine one in our relationship. He is also more stereotypically feminine than me. So although it's the opposite of the norm, masculine people still crave feminine people and vice versa, ergo the result is ultimately the same.
@wilbignal Just to clarify, I have no problem with people who are in healthy traditional relationships. There are plenty of masculine men who want to be nurtured by feminine women, and many feminine women who want to be led by masculine men. So long as they're in agreement about that dynamic, I fully support them! It simply isn't the type of relationship I could ever thrive in, as it's the opposite of my personality.
You will not find women like that around here. They believe they are the ones to run the show in everything. I better run my own show; at least it will be done right and my way. It's just too draining to have that nagging all the time.
My mom treated me that way and my dad was also soft. I'm definitely messed up and don't have a clue how to fix it. I don't know if it's me or the women I choose but I'm having a hard time finding a girl who meets my standards and when I do I mess it up or so it seems I mess it up. I can't even call it anymore
i think alot of women need to hear this. since their mothers never taught them this. fathers tend to be forced out of the hold by courts and women. being told you have no say in your childs life is another thing wrong i have found that has been passed down. it is one of a few reasons why i am so pro-mandatory dna. another reason is in the west were around 30%-70% of all those whom are claimed to be the father and are not the father. in the west a man is required to take care of anothers child by courts.
Men just want a cooperative woman and wants to and knows how to be lead. This should be vetted in the dating process…have another male figure talk to a guy..he will know the characteristics of true leadership..I do agree not having a father for boys to model and for girls to see leadership..positive male influence
I like this! You come off relaxed a very fluid. Maybe things something you can do once per week. Like the “Older Man Reviews” PS: Have you ever thought about Sal and talk and answer viewers questions?
'Agreeable' fits inside of submission. I understand the need to make the wording more digestible for the parties because the men need to have a clearer understanding of what it means as well but, to replace 'submission' with 'agreeable' is to diminish it to a degree.
@@wilbignal Yes, and it's not accidental, because the term "submission" has a lot of negative connotations, carries a lot of old days mentality from the time the monarch ruled the subjects and the feudal landowner bought and sold the land with the peasants living on it.... In that time man was the master of his house, sole provider and what he said went..... In the 21st century, where we're now, governments govern by citizens' consent and marriage is a partnership, a cooperation... they both work and earn, they both do housework too so yes, some of the baggage has to come off for his sake as well as her sake.
@@wilbignalexactly. A woman following a man only when she agrees isn't submission. The whole point of women needing to submit is to stop them from destroying themselves by reacting emotionally.
Awesome neighborhood. It looks like you live in a park. Maybe someday when you can no longer do these videos, turn it into " Ask an Older Man, AI edition ". That way you can be online forever.
I think it's a mistake to call it submissiveness/submission. There is a far simpler word for it.... Give it your whole :) ILike you/your channel a lot, but you have to tackle the issue of linguistics, sometimes... it's not because it's popular that it should even exist. Yes. The label/clickbait is fine (I also oppose to this idea of clickbait, but... the term is, if you've grasped what I meant, kind of a clickbait on its own). That being said: Relationships revolve around 3 basic notions. I'm sure you can find at least two :) Take care!
There are many submissive women. But it requires men to lead. I love how you highlighted thst guy who was a security / worked his way up. 👏 women have alot of stresses out there too so husbands/ men have to create a safe space for submissiveness.
