Successful Query Letter Examples | YA fantasy, romance, historical, sci-fi & MG fantasy

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I'm sharing some queries that landed great agents and got book deals so you have some good examples. These are queries from friends of mine in a variety of genres, including: YA fantasy, YA contemporary rom-com, MG fantasy, YA sci-fi mystery, YA historical.
00:00 Introduction
00:56 YA Fantasy, Jade Fire Gold by June C.L. Tan
03:36 YA contemporary romance, Always Never Yours by Emily Wibberley & Austin Siegemund-Broka
06:25 MG fantasy, The Gilded Girl by Alyssa Colman
09:49 YA sci-fi mystery, Across the Universe by Beth Revis
12:47 YA historical romance, Dangerous Alliance by Jennieke Cohen
16:46 Conclusion
My query for Brightly Burning: • The Query That Got Me ...
GOODREADS
Add each of the books above!
JADE FIRE GOLD by June C.L. Tan: / jade-fire-gold
ALWAYS NEVER YOURS Emily Wibberley & Austin Siegemund-Broka: / always-never-yours
THE GILDED GIRL by Alyssa Colman: / the-gilded-girl
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by Beth Revis: / across-the-universe
DANGEROUS ALLIANCE by Jennieke Cohen: / dangerous-alliance
Add THE IVIES, my YA thriller featuring competitive college admissions & murder, out in 2021, on Goodreads! / the-ivies
+OTHER PROJECTS+
Support NovelTea Show on Patreon! We're launching a podcast, with your support. / novelteashow
+BUY MY BOOKS+
Add THE STARS WE STEAL (Jane Austen + The Bachelor, in space) on Goodreads: / the-stars-we-steal
Buy BRIGHTLY BURNING from Book Depository (ships worldwide!): www.bookdepository.com/Bright...
Buy BRIGHTLY BURNING on Amazon: www.amazon.com/Brightly-Burni...
Get Brightly Burning on Audible.com! www.audible.com/pd/Brightly-B...
+LINKS+
Goodreads:
/ brightly-burning
Twitter:
/ alexadonne
Instagram:
/ alexadonne
Newsletter Sign-Up:
alexadonne.com/newsletter/
Website:
alexadonne.com/
Wattpad:
www.wattpad.com/user/alexadonne
+FILMING SPECS+
Camera: Canon t6i
Mic: Rode VideoMic Go Light
Lighting: Limo Studio Soft Kit
Editing Software: Pinnacle Studio 22

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Опубликовано:

25 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 150

@stingrayizzy1622 4 года назад

I swear to God Alexa, your timing could not be better. Every time. You're like ads - you think about something and it appears.

@Danimita92 4 года назад

I was surprised by how deep the authors went into their stories. I thought query letters had to be way shorter. Thanks for the examples!

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

A few of these were longer than average, but still I think pretty efficient w/ details included. If the language is crisp and the details good, you can get away with a slightly meatier query :)

@michaelsmorenburg-writer8480 4 года назад

@@AlexaDonne I commented 12 hours after this, Alexa - and I ask the same question - "how to get away with it"... as i understand it, they see a long query and toss it out without bothering to read. That's how it seems, since I've tried long/short/and every variety you can imagine.

@fkdjdjcmckdjdjf3728 3 года назад

@@michaelsmorenburg-writer8480 if your short queries fail the same as your long ones, why do you assume that they immediately throw out long queries instead of assuming that there's another problem? If your short queries were much more accepted than long ones, this assumption would make sense, but your comment implies that you're getting the same results regardless?

@michaelsmorenburg-writer8480 3 года назад

@@fkdjdjcmckdjdjf3728 I accept that my queries are poor - be they long or short. I'm only reporting what I've been led to understand, that long queries are generally frowned upon.

@Cmdr1962 Год назад

Several agents insist they want a query letter of half-a-page.

@akossiwak 4 года назад

This is both encouraging and CRUSHING.🥴🥴🥴 like... are my stories even to this level of high concept? Whew... 😅

@MeredithPhillipsWrites 4 года назад

I'm not even close to the query trenches at this point, but I love listening to these letters! Thanks for sharing them and also for sharing WHY they are successful query letters.

@misteryA555 4 года назад

You know, I often feel as if my novel's premise isn't exciting or weird enough to catch any agents eye, but after seeing the queries you chose, I feel much better. None of these premises are boring, but they aren't off-the-wall zany or huge landmarks for their genres either, and yet they had no trouble getting published! I was hesitant to watch this video (comparing yourself to others can be heartbreaking in the moment) but I'm really glad I did! Thanks Alexa

@elliestrasser3106 4 года назад

Loved this. Wouldn't mind a recurring series like this, examining successful queries in different genres/categories every few months or so!

@mre8340 4 месяца назад

This video is excellent. Even being 3 years old. These queries are descriptive yet concise, and providing examples instead of simply explaining what makes a “good query” is extremely helpful! Thank you so much for this video!

@johnpauldagondong2720 4 года назад

badly needed this

@marahsoore6452 4 года назад

These were some amazing examples. I feel like a few others that the credentials really intimidate me. A good book should support itself, that's what I need to keep reminding myself. Other than that these are great inspiration! I'm about to rewrite my query letter so I can prep for pitch wars.

@sharonstolarz9485 4 года назад

Hey Alexa, this is fantastic. I would love to see more examples, especially from adult mystery and thriller.

@liegeman717 4 года назад

Thanks Sharon, I second this request. I’m writing a thriller and would love seeing a query on this also.

@mccaidpaul7602 4 года назад

Second this!

@bellac6311 4 года назад

Yay, yay, yay! Thank you so much for this video Alexa, i havent started writing my query letter yet because i was scared id get it wrong, and didnt know what to do. This is extremely helpful!

@charlottemallory2502 4 года назад

I always love these videos. I'm getting closer to querying and I find these videos so helpful in giving me direction for where to start.

@Sarah-nr5rm 4 года назад

Honestly your channel is so helpful for me. I've been watching you probably since around the time I wrote my first draft a few years back. Now that I want to try to query, I remember your awesome query videos and am getting so much help from these! Thank you!

@joeycron2831 4 года назад

Love love loved these examples. Thank you for sharing

@coralreeves4276 4 года назад

Thanks, Alexa, these are pretty helpful! I finally know what a query letter looks like!

@sakura4331 4 года назад

I hope you do more successful query letters! This is really helpful!

@LorraineCareyAuthor 3 года назад

Huge help. I am redoing my Query letter once again- thanks to you!

@ananxiousnerd 4 года назад

Loved this! Struggling with queries right now so this was very helpful 👏

@gianninamoreau2920 3 года назад

Thank you for this video. It makes me feel less anxious about putting myself out there 😭 I’ve recently found your channel and I’m so grateful for your content. It’s given me a little more confidence to write lol.

@elisabethramon3397 4 года назад

This is a great video. It is really helpful in giving a verity of a good cover letters to look at. I would gladly watch more videos like this one. Thanks for all the help and advice you give.

@yaqubabdullahi4084 4 года назад

Awesome video! I discovered your channel a few weeks ago, and now I'm so addicted. I'd start querying in a month's time so this is definitely helpful.

@Jasper99990 4 года назад

This is incredibly helpful and inspiring, as usual!

@ArabellaKFederico 4 года назад

I've actually never seen any queries before, I was planning on waiting till I got closer to the end of writing and editing, but I decided to check this one out and finally see wassup with these query things. I can see why these books were successful and im really glad I decided to listen in, I know what to work towards. Thanks girl!

@RhyleeKJones 4 года назад

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This is what I was missing in my life.

@deannascorner8112 3 года назад

These queries are making me want to read these books! No wonder they got picked up! This is awesome! Thank you yet again Alexa for your invaluable information!!

@aazavius1 3 года назад

This was helpful. Thanks for sharing!

@aimeewoodworks 4 года назад

Thank you!! I loved this!

@ctrue3120 2 года назад

Thank you! So helpful!

@aebonstudio7193 6 месяцев назад

I finally figured out what made your videos so anxiety inducing for me. You speak with a cadence that puts a period between each word.

@augabachoo 4 года назад

Love this. It's very helpful.

@mab_cat 4 года назад

These are great examples! Thank you.

@Neurospicyalchemist 4 года назад

I really want to check out some of these titles! I am thinking of this as a book rec vid as well!

@JulianGreystoke 4 года назад

Loved this video by the way!

@kabasochaikatisha8505 4 года назад

Wow. Really, really needed this! Thank you so much! Perhaps you could also do examples of successful synopsis 😉

@arellysritchieauthor 2 года назад

Thank you for this, I am an aspiring author who is dreaming of publishing my first Ya novel, I was struggling with how to write a good Query letter and I came across your video by accident, I love your channel and I happily just subscribed.

@simsimahmadi9133 Год назад

Thanks ! Useful 🙂

@haleyferru9098 4 года назад

Thanks for the video! There were a quite a few writing groups/communities mentioned in the queries and in your previous videos. I want to get more involved/more in the know about them, but I have no idea where to start!

@kathleenschwab4645 4 года назад

This was very helpful!

@kerneywilliams632 4 года назад

Thank you. These examples were just what I needed to hear. BtW, I have a couple writing credits that I wonder might pigeon hole me (big rpg company). Where the line about what to include or not might be a useful topic. BtW, thanks for digestible, shorter length videos as opposed to the 40 min +videos I will sometimes ignore

@jhagen22 4 года назад

I would love to see more MG query examples!

@MarnieMacLean 4 года назад

This was really helpful. I'll probably have to watch it a few times to really take it all in. I'm still working on my first novel but hope to query by the end of the year and I noticed that some agents ask for a summary along with the query. It seems like a summary can be anything from a paragraph about each chapter to an 800-word spoiler bomb, with each agent setting their own max word count. I would love to learn more about crafting a good, all-purpose summary that provides what the vast majority of agents would want.

@nopenototday 3 года назад

Fun fact, this video led me to discover the Across the Universe series, and read them. They're now one of my favourite trilogies 😂 Thank you Alexa!

@apsararodrigo9338 4 года назад

Thank you Alexa.

@Erika_NP 4 года назад

Wonderful video

@andreamalkinson1412 4 года назад

These were awesome! Thank you. I'd be curious to know the wordcounts for each of these. I always fall into the trap of removing too much to keep my wordcount low, and then cutting out too much of the voice and soul of the query. These didn't seem super short and punchy like so many people tend to recommend.

@writerbyday 3 года назад

Hey Alexa, I’m so grateful for your channel and you’ve become my go-to for publishing resources even though I’m not close to that stage yet (still writing 1sr draft!), I just love listening to your take! In your next query video, could you give some examples of personal info for those of us who have no credentials? I was a stay at home mom for 6 + years and have edited for family members, done nanowrimo, but basically have nothing to show an agent 😳. I would love to know more about how to stand out when debuting from scratch.

@Supvia 4 года назад

I would love a video on multi POV 😃

@liegeman717 4 года назад

Loved this! I do worry that I don’t have the credentials these writers have and hope that will not affect my query I’m a first time writer and completely new to the scene. Do you think this will matter when it comes time for me to query? Once again, thanks for your videos. I would have faltered long ago without them.

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

It's totally OK to not have credentials! I'll need to find some examples of queries with very basic bios. They are totally fine.

@CharlieHorse4363 4 года назад

Alexa Donne that’s good to hear!! I was getting a little concerned myself 😅

@wattpadusergeek342 4 года назад

Alexa Donne please do! That would be a wonderful comfort to know they do in fact exist.

@darsynia 3 года назад

@@AlexaDonne Thank you for saying this! I jumped right to commenting and it turns out this was exactly my concern. I should have read the comments first! Love your videos. I have one other suggestion for future content: finding comps?

@adityasundararajan7019 4 года назад

This was great! Would love to see how stories with multi POVs (>2) are pitched. I read somewhere that we'd mention it's a multi-POV, but pick 1 or 2 main ones and write the pitch as if it were a single or dual POV. Just wondering if there are other styles done right out there. A video on tips to write synopsis (especially tackling multi-POVs) would be great too!

@Henbot Год назад

It's interesting, it basically is pretty much almost all the world and plot with flattery for the agent and the comparing with other series is quite obvious but interesting it done so straight forward. Whole thing is pretty straight forward

@katerinalongoria9750 4 года назад

dear jesus so like all but one had something in the bio. I know a ton of agents always say it isn't necessary buuuuut... apparently it is... lol 😂 but this was extremely helpful! If you've got more please by all means do another video. It can only help 😊THANK YOU!

@geebee1514 4 года назад

Alexa thank you soooooo much. I needed this. I'm in the Query process. But these letters seem to give so much of the story...too much I thought. Anywho I guess I have work to do. And oh my, their credentials. Mine are nowhere close. Pleeeeeease do more of these 😊 I need help!😬

@FromAnonymouse 4 года назад

Thank you for including dual POVs! Does anyone have more examples they can link to? Especially contemporary YA 😊

@001SpecialAgent 4 года назад

Hi, I so appreciate your videos! I would also appreciate some examples of multi-POV books, my real passion project is a multi-POV sci-fi novel. Thanks!

@ExPerseids 3 года назад

A little late in the game... commenting several months later, but I had a question about nonfiction queries. Basically, how different are they than novels? Love this video and the video where you talk about the structure and tips of writing a query! Very helpful and entertaining!

@nela_happysoul 4 года назад

This was helpful. In the future would you be able to do adult commercial and literary fiction? Thank you, greetings from Chicago.

@marshmellowmama5588 4 года назад

When you're not even at 40,000 words but you still watch this like you need it now. I hope I'm not the only one.

@shaundarae4507 4 года назад

Could you do a video on how to get into Writter Societies, groups, clubs or what ever you would call them? They always sound so good on queries.

@catlife212 4 года назад

Thank you so much for this, it was incredibly educational. Does anyone by chance know what goes after the blurbs that Alexa read? Do you then just paste in the first chapter of your book, or do you wait for the agent to ask to see the whole book before sending any of it?

@seesingsay 4 года назад

Thank you for your great video they are such a help to new writers like me I’m still so confused which why to go either traditional or self publishing 😱. Nanny💕K⭐️seesingsay⭐️👀🎶🤗⭐️

@ems9616 4 года назад

This was really useful! Its particularly interesting that they all directly refrenced other media their books were like - what do you if your book isnt especially like other books in your genre (eyes my scifi crime drama with a same sex romance nervously)? Id also love to see how you approach writing a crime/detective or thriller query. Like how much of the mystery do you reveal?

@Grace-td5dd 7 месяцев назад

I think you would have one book with elements of sci-fi and another with elements of crime drama that are similar

@SuVidaAnimates Год назад

Hey, I'm super glad to come across your channel! Thank you so much for all the tips! I have a question on querying, if anyone can answer. I've seen agents asking you to copy-paste the first few pages of your book into the body of the email. How does that work? Do you first introduce yourself in a para or two, then paste the extract from the story? Or just send the story with your details only on the email's subject line?

@LindsayPuckett 4 года назад

okay but The Gilded Girl sounds PERFECT. I want to read so bad!

@TheReadingPuppet 4 года назад

A picture book query would be awesome, because picture books are so short, writing the query is insane 😱😢

@darsynia 3 года назад

I loved these examples. My only concern is that I'd really love to see an example of a successful query where the author does *not* have a whole host of impressive-sounding achievements after their name! It's one thing to be able to join organizations and such, but, for example, it would be interesting to hear about a successful query from someone who wrote a book later in life, or who wasn't involved in teaching lit or is a young, award winning prodigy! I don't mean to imply there's anything at all with highlighting their fantastic queries, mind you. I just despair sometimes when looking at these, wondering exactly how much weight the personal sections have on their eventual success in publication.

@kathleenschwab4645 3 года назад

I first read Miss Posterity as Miss Posterior.

@Noxstandingby 3 года назад

I would love to see some examples from adult fantasy/new adult fantasy

@amy-suewisniewski6451 4 года назад

This was beyond super helpful!!! Thank you so much, and to all of those who shared their query letters! Stupid question you've probably answered before, all of those word counts listed were nice and round. I imagine the weren't EXACTLY at 62,000 words. Is it common practice to just round up to the nearest whole number like that?

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

Oh yeah, round up or down :)

@patriciasweet7345 4 года назад

Hi, Alexa. I'm a new subscriber who has just spent the entire afternoon watching your videos. They have aged well. My question for you concerns the example queries you read today. They contain more about the stories than I was under the impression was advisable. How much is too much? Also, I'm looking forward to your YA thriller "The Ivies." I'm currently querying agents for my own YA thriller and am happy to see the genre take off.

@fkdjdjcmckdjdjf3728 3 года назад

she's said in another video that the query summary should end approximately a third in or at the initiating event

@jacquilu8660 4 года назад

Query letters from first time novelists and those of us who do not have extensive English writing credentials would be nice to see 😂. Cause dang do I feel inadequate now lol

@dariakey5318 4 года назад

Don't really know if it helped me as in my country we don't write query letters to agents but send synopsis to a publisher (it may be helpful for transmittal letters, though), but what I do know is that I would love to read the last two books. Their query letters are so engaging and intriguing! Wow. And -- what's even more fun -- I don't even like si-fi staff xD But it's gripping!

@Quietcloud 3 года назад

Oh yeah, it was very helpful to hear actual successful queries. Like other commenters, I had also expected the letters to be shorter and contain less detail about their stories. I may be showing terrible ignorance here but what is SCBWI (sp?)?

@shannonhawkins2739 4 года назад

My jaw dropped when I saw Oregon Shakespeare Festival as the plays are literally ten minutes from my house (I Iive in Ashland). I’ve never come across a YA that mentions OSF. Might have to check that out. If anyone’s curious, they had to cancel this season during the pandemic, and who knows what next year will look like. 😞

@geebee1514 4 года назад

Alexa, If you decide to do this again, can you do a Romance sample please.

@author.gabrielavrivera Год назад

11:10 WOW I am not a scifi reader and now I want this book

@SolveForX 4 года назад

My only issue with the ACROSS THE UNIVERSE query was the use of the dash. If you’re going to use dashes as a kind of “equational interruption”, then I think using parens or commas for insertions. Instead she uses dashes in place of parens a sentence after using dashes as that equational interruption. But personal taste.

@xIkunax 4 года назад

Thank you for this! I'm writing a dual POV book, and I had no clue we should give the secondary POV its own paragraph, but it makes sense! Question about comps; from my hours of browsing PubTips, I didn't think it was okay to use non-novel comps(ie that Avatar: the Last Airbender comp)? Is it okay if the feel is just right?

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

Non-novel comps are fine! It's about artfully using them in combination with book comps. The book comps show you read and tell them where you'd go on the shelf. Media comps can be used to demonstrate high concept, tone, etc.

@michaelsmorenburg-writer8480 4 года назад

Half way through and surprised at the length of these excellent pitches. It was drummed into me - "300 words and NO MORE!". These seem *significantly* longer. How do they 'get away with it'? Over years, I've tried every version of query - long, descriptive, creative, dry, businesslike, textured, emotion-filled, hook focused.-- you name it, I've done it (and I'm a marketer and seasoned author with 6 self-published novels and 3 represented/industry how-to's) and embarrassingly good reviews. But - in pitching - I just can't get traction.

@MissAnglewolf 4 года назад

You should totally checkout Omegaverse fiction.

@JulianGreystoke 4 года назад

Maybe more samples of the bio section for authors who have no credentials to recommend them?

@jessicamizzell1721 4 года назад

Hey Alexa, I would love to see adult romance queries. I am a stay at home mom, I don’t have the credits like the ones you showed. How would you bio that?

@jennamorganbooks 4 года назад

This was great! However, now I’m a little confused haha. I’ve asked for query feedback on r/PubTips twice so far and multiple people said I had too much backstory and world-building. (I’m revising a dual POV YA Fantasy.) But these had quite a bit! I simplified mine to only mention one of the POVs (my main MC) and to the point where it seems like bare bones compared to the ones in this video. I’m guessing I need to find a happy medium? Thanks for all your helpful videos! ☺️❤️

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

Definitely a happy medium. it's also how you reveal world details? It should always be in service of character, conflict, and stakes, if that makes sense.

@katiestewart7926 4 года назад

I'm in the querying trenches right now, and it hasn't been going as smoothly as I'd like. After revisions, my manuscript has received great feedback from readers, and I've revised my query to the point that it hits all the notes it needs to in a short amount of time. What should I do? I'm still out to a few agents and have more to reach out to. Should I continue to query and hope someone will enjoy my not-quite-fantasy not-quite-contemporary YA, or should I change the opening chapters?

@brookblackwell9529 4 года назад

I’m working on the second draft of my first novel currently, and I don’t have any notable credentials. What would be a good way to stand out in a query without them?

@vivianwakoff 4 года назад

Thank you for another great video! I have a question: how helpful are forums when it comes to query-writing? I'm asking because I'm currently working on my query and I've posted it in a forum -- one of the big, famous ones. I don't think the feedback I got was all that helpful. In fact, people have asked me to change things and add details that don't add anything to the actual pitch. A caveat: I don't mean this in a negative way -- and I appreciate the feedback I got. Also, I think people offered their best advice. It just didn't add anything to what I already had (which they all pointed out was an already strong query).

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

It really depends. Some of the oldest/biggest forums are no longer frequented by the strongest posters--there can be some circle jerking. I usually suggest people check out the Pubtips subreddit as many publishing professionals (including me) use that sub.

@patriciawoods3702 2 года назад

I would like to see a query about Memoirs

@wattpadusergeek342 4 года назад

Lol. This just made me feel like a total amateur. I have zero accomplishments to write about in the bio section 😅😭

@soniccanrun Год назад

I realize this video is a couple years old and you may not see this, but I was very curious about the first letter you read because it didn't seem to include a personal bio at all. Was this because of pitch wars or was it left out for one reason or another? And if there wasn't one, where would you have included it in the JADE FIRE GOLD letter in a more standard querying situation? thank you so much for your time!

@noahlee9690 3 года назад

Someone tell me about the subject line in Query letters please

@cts2922 4 года назад

Does anyone know if she ever did the page 1 critique thing? I was super pumped but never heard anything after the survey so I’m guessing not...

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

I have not yet had the bandwidth to move forward with that b/c it will be a LOT of work. Patience Padawan.

@lukyanoppedisano1130 4 года назад

Would having 4 comp titles in a query be too many?

@hazelphoenix203 4 года назад

The thing I’m most worried about is writing the bio. I don’t have many accolades

@harshrai6187 4 года назад

Alexa, please make a video on how to write a good proposal to make the literary agent fall in love with your manuscript. Like what should be included and how long could the proposal be or what details of the story should be included. Pleaseeee...

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

Do you mean nonfiction? I have multiple videos on writing a query for fiction.

@harshrai6187 4 года назад

Yeah, non fiction. And can you give us the query letter YOU first gave to your literary agent.

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

@@harshrai6187 Non-fiction is a whole other kettle of fish and something I don't really have experience with. I might tackle it in the future it's a bit beyond my scope. There's a link to my query video in the description box.

@harshrai6187 4 года назад

Alexa can you tell me that how much chances there are for my query to be chosen if I don't have any writing credentials or I am completely new to writing?

@AnnaRobbinsWrites 4 года назад

umm brb I have to go read Dangerous Alliance immediately!!!! 😍

@the0siren0of0night 4 года назад

I would love to query some of my stories... but none of them are finished... and me being dyslexic, I would find it difficult to know what to put down in one...

@JensLemonadeLife 4 года назад

I wonder if dictating your story would be a better way for a dyslexic author to accomplish their goals?

@AndromedaMoon888 3 года назад

I was listening to the first one and I was thinking this sounds like ATLA lol (exiled prince = zuko?)

@Sol-pc1jb 4 года назад

I apologize beforehand if this is a silly question, but should we attach a few pages of our work along with the query letter?

@AlexaDonne 4 года назад

Every agent will have different guidelines so look for how many pages they want. Most want it included in the body of the email, not as an attachment.

@Sol-pc1jb 4 года назад

Alexa Donne Thank you so much for the reply! Great video as always 🥰