Reconstructed past, perceived present, imagined future - yessss! That narrative & the breaking down of it is shattering... Thank you so much for this conversation!
I wish so much that I could have joined this conversation! I have been in the ‘I don’t want to die, but I can’t live with this anymore.’ Having my dr ask me about suicide was such a relief, but for me going into the hospital felt a very safe place too.
I got so much out of this conversation. There are a number of people in my life whose lives were devastated by suicide. I wish there was a gentle way to share everything Pamela said with all of them, without seeming like giving advice e.g. "you need to watch this video!"
Research studies have proved that emotional pain is experienced in the same part of the brain physical pain is. There was an experiment with pain relivers, and it was discovered the brain of individuals experiencing emotional pain was less active while taking medication compared to those who didn't medicate. Emotional pain is very real and not a reflection of mindset, strength, or character flaws.
(Someone wants to go out and get killed which would be Person #1) Person #1: (whispering) I’m going out to get hit by a vehicle. Person #2: (after hearing the whisper and therefore holding onto Person #1 super tight) No! Don’t leave this house! Person #1: SHUT THE ****UP AND LET GO OF ME! LET GO! LET GO, PLEASE! (Person #2 persistently shakes his/her/their head.) Person #1: OHH, I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! Person #2: Why? Person #1: BECAUSE YOU WON’T SET ME FREE! YOU’RE ONLY HOLDING ME PRISONER BY KEEPING ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!! Person #2: I have every right to hold you prisoner! Person #1: BUT I WANT TO DIE SO BAD! Person #2: Nope! You’re going to listen to me and do as I say forever, even throughout eternity, no matter what!
