Dear Susan, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your illuminating and inspiring talk, and for all the work you have done and are doing on the absent father's effect on daughters. So many things you say awaken things in me and water flows as I feel given the permission to reflect more and more on my own experiences and develop more conscious understanding of them and my Self.
Such. a powerful presentation describing all too familar material that unfortunately resonates closely with my own experience in many ways. I'm thankful to have this experience validated through this talk and am grateful to have survived this sense of "presence but absence." Nevertheless, acknowleding and living through this kind of wound and healing process is ongoing. Mourning is central and perhaps this individual issue can be understood as a collective issue related to patriarchy as well. Anyway, thank you so much.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not affected by what my parents did, and then I listen to something like this where in the first 10 minutes I'm like, "I'm overwhelmed!" **Clearly I am affected. I'm sure my exes could attest to that, as well. To those who are asking about toxic mothers, you're heard, and your statements are valid, you clicked on the wrong video. There's plenty of content available on toxic mothers, the mother wound, bitter ex-wives, baby moms, etc. Obviously, just not in this video.
I have worked with many families and the only mothers trying to get the daughters away from their father is when the father is abusive (emotionally and physically) and unsafe for the child and mother (in all cases they were involved with pornography or drugs)! And even these abused mothers had forgiven their husband and were/still are willing to reconcile and reunite if the husband would repent and stop being abusive towards mother and witnesses by the children! Deserting and neglecting the marriage and children being the most common abuse, with father/husband betraying the family and others through seducing other women he lies to convincing them that his previous wife/girlfriend was the unloving wife/mother/girlfriend who forced him to Ieave them!!
This is complete rubbish. Many parents, unfortunately, use their children as weapons against the estranged spouse. What you are suggesting is that women are uncapable of this. That they are good per se. Very problematic and dangerous thoughts.
@@mynonmignon I agree the caüacity to be horrible people lies in both genders. Can we please stop always victimicing women. Women can be perpetrators too.
@@Iamany.Batuan absolutely! We've come to a point where society won't accept that women can be evil, too. Teaching our children that men can be dangerous and women are the good ones. It is ridiculous. Gannon Stauch comes to mind. His father thought he'd be safe with a female caregiver. Women are capable of everything men are capable of. This needs to sink in.
Thanks for this Susan. Really insightful. I hope my question gets to jou. I want to know from a divorced house hold, how can a mother try and assist the daughter in this healing process going forward? I am against men coming and going in my life and a more stable father figure would be ideal. I don’t have family who we see often enough for that. So what kind of tools can me as a mom equip my self with to teach her to still have her identity without a father figure.
One thing missing is active role of mothers in pushing out fathers from relationship with child. I had, and still have amazing opportunity (as part of my work) to observe day to day live of strangers in their homes. I'm sad that psychology is so biased because of alleged 10 000 years of oppression. As if men wasn't oppressed. Problem with fathers is that because of their lack of emotional awareness, they let themselves to be abused. Mostly by subtle acts of aggressive speach. It's hard to be impressed by stories told by icons of feminism when you compare them with stories about suffering Virgin Mary and her Son. At emotional level they are not that far from each other.
I have worked with many families and the only mothers trying to get the daughters away from their father is when the father is abusive (emotionally and physically) and unsafe for the child and mother (in all cases they were involved with pornography or drugs)! And even these abused mothers had forgiven their husband and were/still are willing to reconcile and reunite if the husband would repent and stop being abusive towards mother and witnesses by the children! Deserting and neglecting the marriage and children being the most common abuse, with father/husband betraying the family and others through seducing other women he lies to convincing them that his previous wife/girlfriend was the unloving wife/mother/girlfriend who forced him to Ieave them!
It is extremely abusive but very common for a father to replace the role of his wife, and place the daughter in the position of a type of mistress (usually not advancing to a sexual relationship for fear of being caught, but having an extremely inappropriate relationship none the less)! The husband and children then neglect or even leave the wife, rejecting her like trash, because husband rewards the children with his fake “love” and affection but only if they reject their mom at his lead😢! This is very common! And when the children grow older they either continue this abuse of the mother, or finally they realize how wrong they were and are very upset! They need to repent and reconcile with all those they abused and neglected so they can become emotionally free of horrible memories of joining dad in abusing the mother unjustly! Children are easily deceived by their father, into turning on their mother, in order to please their father in an effort to gain his ungodly approval and ungodly attention!
This book is terrible. It paints the narrative that a father is an oppressor when he is both present and not present in the daughter's life. Susan bounces between the psychology of the daughter and how terrible fathers are. Would not recommend.
The author is still trapped in the myth of the "absent father", rather than the reality of the kidnapping mother. Everyone agrees on the enormous detriment of children without fathers. But when you try to explain that it can be easily remedied, with simple reforms, that restore natural rights to fathers, over the objection of feminists, that's when they have a problem with it.
I’m not with you on this. This is not about fathers who actively want a relationship with their children and from a nearly hour long video, to get this is insane.
The issue you have is not being addressed here. You’re looking for an explanation that is not even relevant to this discussion at all. I hope you find what you are looking for.
