For my son, I bought a three ring binder and plastic insert sleeves. Put in report cards, school pictures, awards etc. for each year. He can decide whether he keeps or tosses.
I was crushed when my dad sold his firefighters jacket at a garage sale. {He didn't need the money}. He volunteered at the fire station and I grew up with him getting a call over the cb radio in the middle of the night. I would stay up making sure he returned. I was proud of him and really wanted his firefighter jacket. You might be surprised what your children would want. Maybe ask them and if you are going to give it away or sell just give it to your child.
The author does suggest asking people if they would like certain things. And - my point of view - if you have attachment to an item or 2 your parents have now, and are not using, ask them if you may have them now. Notice I said attachment, as in feelings or memories. I'm not saying ask for valuable things
After my dad died my mom had us 4 children go through her things and mark what we wanted, partly to avoid arguments late, but so we knew what could go elsewhere. No stress
Great job, Robyn. I like the idea of ME making the decisions. Also, I have no children (I do have lovely step children who are married adults and have their own households, mostly in other states) so no one else should have to take on the burden of disposing of my house and contents. I've lived here for 43 years and my husband passed away 5 years ago. I know the challenges of cleaning his closets and fishing equipment, etc. No one should have to go through my things and wonder if it was important to me. I should be down to JUST the things that are important, with nothing packed in boxes piled somewhere. Time to dig in!! Thanks 🤗
I did this process last year. I sent a group text message to my kiddos asking if there were things they wanted when I was gone? A couple of days later my hubby got a call from our son asking if I was okay? Was I sick ? 😅 Guess I should have clarified what it was that I was doing. Lol!!!
That question - Will it make anyone HAPPY if I keep this? - really helped me to make decisions about my things. Would my sons ever want the formal gowns, including my prom dress, that I wore one time decades ago? Would they want a box filled with my old collectible dolls, many of which had seen better days? What about the framed art and decor that is no longer to my taste and is stuffed in the back of a closet? How about the old comforters and bed spreads stashed away unused in the linen closet? Once I started to look at those items objectively I realized that I should have donated those items back when they were still in style and useful. By hanging on to them "just in case", I pretty much guaranteed that they would all end up in a landfill.
Please Parents if you have kids over sixteen please talk to them before getting rid of their stuff. My grandmother got Rid of my dad's comic book collection. While he was in basic training he had a Superman number one in his collection. That thing is worth over a million dollars now. She get rid of a million dollars!! A lot of his were originals from like the forties and fifties like the ones that are super valuable now.
Yes, ask, but I had the opposite thing happen. They had no interest whatsoever in the dozens of bins of schoolwork, art, clothes and items that I had kept of theirs so I ended up being the sorter. The clothes were undonatable as heat had destroyed them over time.
That Awkward Mom, Ariel, sent me. My friend helped me empty a storage unit FULL of stuff & the question she had me ask about every single item was..... "does it make your heart sing?".... that made it easier.... because so MUCH of my "stuff" would be too easy to keep if I just settled on happy.... You're both awesome. 🥰🙏
I've been working on this! I have no one to leave anything for (my daughter & first husband died years ago & my second husband died three months ago). It's a process, but I don't want to leave things for others to deal with, so back to the basics I need/want! Thanks for this collab!
Thoughts as you work through this. ❤ Diane in Denmark (RU-vid) is also doing this type of declutter. The passing of her Mum last month inspired her. You might enjoy her videos.
My condolences. I have one stepson in California so he'll get his deceased father's things and my little cousin will get some cause I don't have my own children.
Thanks you both for the great collab! Great motivation to start decluttering with a bigger picture in mind. And Yes, eternal life is real and will be great with our Heavenly Father! ❤
My grandmother collected salt shakers. We went through them and picked out the ones we want to keep. I picked out one set for each of my adult children. I thought they would like a memento from their great grandma. Well, I was wrong. Only one of the four wanted their set. I think younger adults no longer want to inherit much of the stuff we leave behind.
I think, the problem is that nowadays it is much easier to get anything you want. I mean that earlier you searched for things in the shops for hours or weeks AND then you could see IT - astonishing PEPPER SHAKER looked like pineapple or doll and you knew that nobody had the same. It is about memories. Now you just choose one on the website, wait 1-2 days and get it. Also today's IKEA design trends is quite standardized, all about white, wooden, made as rock, so anything is not unique.
We did the death cleaning before it was a thing. We're decluttered, gave things away to the kids that they wanted, and the rest is in our will. So, you are pretty sure that your oldest son will not move back home after college? Many do, but hopefully yours will find his career path and be able to live on his own. Love the colab.
@Shiryone The last time we did a serious decluttering, we decided to declare anything we got rid of and later found a use for, as "being lost in the fire." We decided if we would keep items or not, based on whether we would be likely to replace them if our house and everything in it had burned to the ground. It really did work. We got rid of almost all of our unnecessary belongings. Unfortunately, that was over 25 years ago, and we, along with the "help" of two of our grown children, have accumulated almost as much crap as we got rid of back then. Now, we have the added issue of having to get their approval for tossing any of their belongings.
At 62 and recently retired now is the perfect time to start this. I have no kids so that will be easier. Ariel sent me too! Good for both you girls doing this while you are young and have the energy!
Thank you and welcome! Pleas check out my Facebook group and join my newsletter! I may be a bit younger than 62, but not as young as the lovely Ariel and many of the women in my Facebook group are older than me as well. 🌻💕
This honestly is a good idea for military families to do. We kinda do it because we move often but we are usually away from family. One of my husband's friends passed away last year and he is also in the military. They had the task of getting all his stuff taken care of. They had to sell a bunch of it and get rid of other things. It was a single guy. Not likely but if me and my entire family died in a car crash or something I'd feel so bad if someone had to deal with all our stuff. It's a good motivator to take care of the extra stuff we don't need.
This hits home for me. My husband and I both grew up in "we have to keep everything houses" and we're both completely detached from material possesions. The thought of having to go through my parents' possesions after they die terrifies me. Same for my in-laws. I helped them move two years ago and my mother in law kept telling me how she hated this vase and that candle holder. I suggested she got rid of them, but was shut down in an instant. She can't get rid of them, because they were a gift, the person who gave them is dead, etc. I know the task of getting rid of all those things will eventually fall on us and it's scary! That's why I love Swedish death cleaning and I'm doing it now, at 30 years old so my kids never have to go through piles and piles of junk when I die.
Ariel and Robin, you two are straight, cracking me up !! 😂 At 74 , I'm well aware of what you're talking about. I've seen a lot of folks go on to heaven, hopefully .🙏😅 You made this so much fun and entertaining, plus so very informative 👏. These are situations almost everyone has to go through, So it really helps to share and pass along these facts. I watched Ariel, and now I just finished watching you. You both were excellent. 👏 👌 Ciao for now 😉 🏖 Kj in Tampa Bay 🤗 ❤️
My home is full of “just in case items!” Not any more! I have started my journey to what I DO need. I have bought nine plastic totes for each of our nine adult children. They can do whatever they want with it and took the decision of what to keep or pitch from their childhood. I call this my Chicken 🐓 move. Lol. But it’s working!
Hey Robyn, thanks for sharing this 👍As I said over on Ariels channel, I am an only child with no children who had to clean my mums house just before & after she passed away 4 years ago. My mum was unfortunately a hoarder & had 50+ years worth of belongings which was very difficult borh emotionally & physically. After I had finished, my entire mindset around belongings changed & I was able to let go of & declutter over 80% of what I owned. I'm still working towards simplifying my life as I have no one to take on the things after I'm gone & I want to live an easier, more simple life whilst I'm still here & use my energy on the people & things that mean the most to me ❤️
I’m so glad you post your videos so frequently!! They keep me on track and I feel like if I lived in Canada I would be your friend! Much love Robin!!!! Have a very blessed week and know what a big difference you are making❤👯♀️👏🏻✝️
Loved your video. First one I've seen. I'm in Ontario. LOVE that you cut to a clip of Death Becomes Her. Great movie. I study Thanatology so this Swedish Death Cleaning is also up my decluttering alley. Thanks for conveying your comfort around prepping for our own deaths. We need to lose the stigma -- along with the clutter.
I think that beginning in our main living areas will work best for me. I believe those rooms will be quick and easy to clear out while providing the most dramatic results. I plan to leave things like paperwork and photos at least until I have some real momentum going and need a task that can be done while sitting. If only my body was as enthusiastic about this as my mind is.
I have 4 small boxes in the guest room closet, as I find things I want to give to specific people, they item goes in the box with their name, no massive sorting, I can change my mind and if I drop dead tomorrow the boxes can be sealed and sent off, no one will have to guess my intentions.
Your video is hilarious and very, very helpful. I’ve been overwhelmed by stuff. I now take 30 minutes every day and work on getting rid of stuff. So cathartic.
I am very interested in this topic, and Robyn your hair looks beautiful in this video!!! I have put my name on the bottom of an antique desk my parents have.
I solved the photo problem by buying a small scanner and tossing out the originals. Everything is saved to an external hard drive. Works great for other papers too. Scanner was Doxie brand. A bit more expensive than I wanted but great reviews.
Throughout the video, I'm thinking of a relative who is 76. And when you said chaff, i pictured going through things with her and asking, "Is this a blueberry, or is it chaff?"
I started SLOWLY and sporadically decluttering about 10 years ago. Now I am 70 I am speeding up and doing “death cleaning” for several reasons; one I’m a retired nurse and know how quickly things and can change and the other two part reason is that I realized that almost everything I own was purchased after my divorce and the kids were grown so the kids had no idea that most of my possessions existed. And that if my SO and I die in close time proximity, my kids couldn’t leave their jobs to come clean out my crap and it would be left to his family and it wasn’t fair to them. Kids live thousands of miles away, his family lives 3 blocks away. Better I get rid of non essential stuff and leave them a manageable task. I am starting with my collections, then moving to unnecessary house hold items then when I get to sentimental (for my family and friends ) they’ll each get a small (1 cubic foot) box with instructions to keep or toss, just don’t tell me about it.
I have one small sized bin for each child/grandchild with things they might want to keep or toss one day...their choice (first toy, report cards, etc.) Other than that, only keeping actual valuables such as real jewelry and collections (art. sculptures, etc.). Everything else is going. I had already started, but this is motivating me to go up into the attic.
I did this before I loved in 2018 and recently. We downsized and now its just stuff I like and use and our house is neat and tidy....well at least my stuff is.
After learning about Swedish death cleaning, I'm starting to realize how much things I own that I don't really need. However part of me has a difficult time parting with these items because they still hold memories, despite the fact that I'll never use them again. For example I have old artwork that takes up lots of space that just collects dust but the effort that went into it makes it hard to let go, I also have lots of clothing that I hold onto cause 'I might wear it someday'... I truly want to declutter but I find it difficult to get past this mindset.
The fact that you can name these mindset blocks is HUGE! I highly recommend check out my blog, new alter and Facebook group. I have a closet clean out challenge coming up very soon and also offer decluttering coaching that’s highly focused on mindset shifts. 💫🤞🏼🙏🏼💕
❤Aw!!! ❤The two ❤❤of you!!! ❤ 🎉🎉 💡IDEA. A friend’s older mom said to her 5 adult kids at a holiday party at her home- if you want something from my house put your initials on this tape, stick it on the bottom of the “thing” or write it down in the notebook. It worked. ❤
My Dad's parents made an inventory of all the stuff in their house when they were planning a cross country move. They had done this many times moving between countries. But this time the point was to send it to the kids. Each kid marked what they wanted, and then when they bought a house they mapped out what would fit on the other end of the move. Anything not moving, the appropriate kid got a call or an email with a, do you want to pick it up, or do how do you want us to ship it. Labels went on the bottoms of many things, and each move after that things got farmed out. After they passed there wasnt a bunch of fighting. 2 things that everyone wanted magically disappeared into the nether after Grandmother passed before the first kid showed up at the apartment. 1 of them being Grandmother's little black book of recipes. Her inbox on her desk had been cleared at some point and a typed copy of all the recipes was laying there with the file location marked so all the kids could have a copy.
@@MinimalistHome Definitely! Stark contrast to my Mom's side of the family where hoarding tendencies are a very real thing that a lot of us are dealing with and trying to overcome. My kids are 18 and 20, and I wound up telling them look, I don't want to leave you guys a mess when I'm gone, and I want you to make memories with the family heirlooms instead of stashing them away. So when they move out I fully expect they will take their room contents with them, and a good bit of the kitchen as well. And they each also have a hope chest with sentimental stuff they have saved as we decluttered and such. I've even been working on splitting up the tools so that it can be a 3 way split and everyone has enough of what they need, but not a ton of excess that they don't. And bonus points if that frees me up enough to travel more and such once they are out on their own.
I need some advice.... My husband is keeping Everything! I mean .. his father passed away in 2007 and his brother just passed away a few months ago. Our closet needed another bar so we could hang my shorts and capris. ( We share 1 closet) I have decluttered my things but to get him to do the same is driving me insane.!!! He has things from when he was younger.. his dad's shirts. And ripped T-shirts, jammies, old work shirts. (From like 25 yrs ago) I get overwhelmed when I see how much SHOULD GO. I offered to help. ( I try to be calm but....) I need Help with this. I have watched your videos and others WITH him... And Nothing 😢 Hepl
@@farmerwife8412 I know I can't declutter his things... I've been doing this for about 5 years and I thought by now he would be willing to do it together... But Nope 😞
I use a combo of methods. After 11.5 years I'm decluttering my deceased husband's things. I'm having to think "will my stepson want this when I'm gone?" He's already turned down a few things.
Awkward mom came up on my youtube and just as a wrote on her video i will write it here too kind of but a tad more .. as a former swede i approve of Swedish death cleaning its not only for the people that will have to deal wit your stuff after you are gone but its also good for your own good health
Sorry, but I don't understand. If you choose a philosophy «what if I die tomorrow, how my nearest and dearest deal with my stuff», why do you touch your children's things? It is your children things, if you die, they can decide what to do with THEIR stuff by themselves. I mean, this book seems to be about personal clutter, which belongs to person, m, personally. Not about alive children or spouse belongings, only about yours.
Just like Awkwardly Mom’s video, this was all talk and “cute” drop-ins, etc., but hardly any footage of you decluttering and walking us through your process.
I think if it were a demonstration video, it would be called “Swedish Death Clean With Me”. Which would be a great video actually! I like long form stuff like that. But it’s nice to have these overview explanation videos as well.
Here from Awkward Mom Of my 4 adult children: ONE wanted their 'Baby's 1st Christmas' ornament. ONE wanted some of their favorite childhood toys. ZERO wanted any 'artwork' or school projects (even the 4H projects that won blue ribbons and County Honors). ZERO wanted any of their baby clothes. ZERO have taken any of their baby/childhood pictures (those are in a tote to be dealt with when I die)
