“I live in the Country of Sweden within the European Union. My name is Swimmy Johannesen. I’m 200 years old. I staunchly believe in national socialism, Child Labour, and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, If I’m France or Russia, I’ll make sure to neglect my iron techs to increase demand and lower available supply. Demand is over 10 thousand now. After I neglect my iron techs I always remember to death war. In the shower I make sure to explode on Bokoen before cutting off my balls, attempting suicide, and becoming communist. Then I rat my teammates and throw them under the bus for 10 years while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always play a game with little to no intelligent forethought, because devoting time to that gets in the way of my mappies. Then denial, then an intense rage followed by a final comedic acceptance of my mistakes. There is an idea of a Swimmy Johannesen. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real Swimmy. Only a desync. Something illusory. And though I can hide my disrespect towards women, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense that I’ve gassed every Frenchman in my country and ethnically rebalanced Northern Yugoslavia, I simply am not there.” - Swimmy “Sweezus” Johannesen, 2k19.
5 окт 2024
