My grandmother, who was raised by her very elderly aunts (actual Victorians) was more my role model than my hippie mom (nothing against that she was just wild and I was quiet). I was trained to fairly Victorian manners by my grandmother who was a career artist and kept a beautiful home from the 40s to the early 90s. My grandfather was a physics professor and a dean. I loved the propriety of their household.. oh the books(!) and all the beautiful antiques from my grandmother's aunts Victorian homes :)
There is a beauty to proper manners. It is, after all, a way of showing respect. I think what really is lacking in our generation is respect. Respect for the food, respect for the cook, etc. Throw it in the microwave, eat from the carton...not exactly elegant.
🤔--- sitting on the toilet eating my lunch and making a poopy I guess that's a big No-No right🤔 and here I thought that was multitasking when I'm at work....😂
Eating a meal should be a pleasure, not a much of people scoffing for down their throats. My grandchildren and husband do that, why do I even cook? I have mentioned this, but to no avail, I sometimes get eat in another room, I thought about filming them, but would they get it??
@@ellendolber2765 I think your over thinking it. They probably eat so fast cause your cooking just taste that good. I agree people should eat slower. People are too disconnected now a days.
My parents put great emphasis on table manners. My grandparents were from Scotland and very Victorian/Edwardian. So, if my parents missed anything, my grandparents were right there to correct it. At an early age my brothers and sisters knew how to take tea, have a formal meal with numerous dishes, and silverware as well as glasses. My dad kept a sharp eye on all of us at the table, and when I had friends from school stay for dinner he would nonchalantly watch them as well. We were very at ease dinning out and actually astounded waiters/ waitress' with ordering, using multiple silverware and glasses. It was all a big payoff, as I would attend numerous formal dinners in Boston at the finer hotels, and I felt like I was sitting at my own dinning room table. I still have my dads sharp eye for manners when out dining. 😊😊😊😊😊😊
I took a course when I was high school on how to eat properly at the table. Of course it was my great grandmother teaching it. I felt so proud when I hosted my first dinner party after the course. I knew how to make polite dinner conversations and everything. I actually enjoyed it.
My grandmother taught me table etiquette. Ironically, it was actually fun learning because I realized the importance & value behind the methodology and even at a young age. Additionally, I remember as I grew older and got my first job when I was cleaning up the fast food restaurant lobby that to my chagrin and shock some people left behind all kinds of messes. It was annoying to clean up after these heathens. I used to think were they raised in a barn & I wonder if they eat like this in their own homes too? Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. I learned real fast regardless of someone's social status that some people lack proper etiquette. I always took pride in making sure the lobby was impeccably clean because whether or not anyone is noticing you ALWAYS want to do your best at anything you pursue. As long as table manners and other etiquette is taught, and people are willing to learn & put it into practice, then of course I think it's as relevant today as it was in Mrs. Post's time. Manners AND class are good values that are timeless; they transcend SES & help to maintain order and help to avoid bad behavior and hurt feelings.
I agree! I work in a fast food restaurant, and a few months ago I was wiping one of the tables, and I saw a pool of ketchup on the table and someone wrote "CLEAN ME" on it!! 😩😣 I'm not saying I'm this perfectly mannered woman, but please, just have some manners lol.
I love coupons: God bless you! A job worth doing, is a job worth doing well. Every single person who is employed, needs to have this tattooed on their forehead. No matter what position you hold, President or street sweeper, your job matters and so do you. Take pride in all you do.
I was raised this way.....If you were lucky enough to have been raised with good manners you owe your mother (grandmother, father, nanny whoever) so much. Proper manners will help you through life. And it is so easy to learn them when you are young...not so easy when you are grown and have to break old habits.
When I was growing up...we had a book of etiquette by Emily Post and used it often. Our society doesn't care about etiquette anymore, like we once did.
I care... Actually, I recently have a formal dinner in a Luxus hotel in Germany... Nobody knows nothing 🤦♀️, I have to tell my husband what fork was for the starter.... When they bring the butter, a woman by my side asked loud and seriously: why they bring ice-cream first??? I told it was butter (with discretion) and she get upset, like "you will not correct me" (I'm hispanic, maybe that was the problem but is not my fault, I learned manners from my parents) and she didn't believe me, she asked someone else and he doesn't knows also, so they call the weiter to ask him, and he say, my lady, this is fine butter alla fine herbs from the Alps of Austria.... 🙁
1000 8 1000 ....I am so grateful for my mother teaching me good manners in everything and I have passed it on to my children and grandchildren. I too care, we all should.
Table Manners (1947) 1000am 16.5.23 i have never been out for a meal so i have no concept of table etiquette and would, a la tony montana, come across as a bit of a lag in that respect. i would certainly go out for a meal with this young lady as she doesn't seem too happy about the food she's being forced to eat or cogitate upon. in that she would be more than pleased to order the food of her choosing and that would make for a very amiable meal and after dinner chin wag - irrespective of my lax table manners.
I'm 58 years old. My dear mother, who taught home economics in the 50s & 60, taught me much of what is shown here...i especially remember the eating of soup where the spoon is drawn away from oneself. it does make for a cultured appearance. naturally, i never employ that formality when its all you can eat at golden corral and cracker barrel.
btinsley1 I’m 58 too, and absolutely. The only one thing I disagreed with is you never ever blow your nose at the table! A sudden sneeze is one thing... But blowing your nose at the table? At one of my dinner parties, I had someone use my (Linen) napkins to blow their nose at the table.
I thought using the soup spoon like that was just being “snotty” (in a nod to what @btinsley1 said about the rude linen napkin nose-blower) until I learned there really was a reason for that - that the bowl, instead of your lap, may catch any drips! I remember thinking how ingenious that really was. Lol!
Wow! That holding a piece of bread against the last bits of food onto your fork is absolutely brilliant! I had no idea that a polite way to do that actually existed! If food is delicious I never leave it on my plate so I just nudged it with my fingers and think that the polite thing to do was a waste of food! This is so empowering!
You can always use a butter knife if there is no bread. That's how I was taught, anyway. Just guide the food onto the fork with the knife. We were also taught to twist the pasta into a spoon, and I don't know how anyone could make it through a plate of spaghetti with just a fork lol.
@@THE-X-Force it's also good manners to have some bread on the table though, even if there's not a course to use it with per se, someone might want or need a piece.
This is a very American way of table manners. In Europe it is simply not done to only use the fork while eating and leaving the knife aside. Also the silverware is placed waaaay to far from the plates. But I guess table manners and table settings are somewhat dependent on times, places and culture ;-) .
Grabs bread with hands to stop up the juice tearing it apart and placing rest of bread on the table to use soon enough, or balling up the pieces of bread into bread balls to see whose can bounce higher before eating.
As I watched this, I remembered everything shown here was what I learned growing up and I know people still eat this way, yet I do not practice most of this anymore. I'm deffinitely going to slow down and be more conscious of how I eat.
We eat dinner at the table, I still teach my children to keep their elbows off the table, use a napkin, chew with their mouths closed and ask to be excused once finished. I don't set the table in a formal manner for everyday meals but I do for special occasions or holidays. These were things I was taught by my grandmother and I try to keep going in my home as well as regular, everyday manners (holdng doors, saying please and thank you, being clean and well groomed etc) I wish more people made even the slightest effort to show some pride in themselves these days.
Heidi Thomas Some of it seems a bit excessive. Actually, I miss those days when there were so many niceties. Seems healthy to have that structure. That era had its problems, too. But still nothing wrong with thoughtful manners.
Bethlehem Eisenhour: You know it's not recommended unless you know that all of your guests at the table are of the same faith as you, right? The last thing you want to do is make any of your guests uncomfortable by imposing a religious ritual they are not familiar with, or don't share.
Because God is the Great I AM, and He created everyone at the table and knows the number of hairs on their heads and knows the date and hour they’re appointed to meet Him Face-to-face, you bet I’m going to honor Him by thanking Him for His goodness in supplication of my sustenance. Political correctness dies in the lake of brimstone too so it’s of no good use to me now or ever. No one said it had to be a formal public sermon - Jesus called out certain forms of public prayers - but a few seconds of a bowed head and silent grateful appreciation is most certainly appropriate.
I remember telling people at the table that if their spicy food made their nose run, to PLEASE blow it in the restroom and I would make sure and do the same as well. So gross when people do this at the table.
Oh lord. I was once seated next to a man of higher 'class' and his nose was running. It didn't help that the open fire about 15 feet away was causing the moisture to glimmer. I kept waiting for he or his wife to produce a handkerchief, but no.... Shall never forget, tho I can't remember the meal. Lesson- I always have a spare hanky about me rather than just one.
Some ppl can't make it to the bathroom before the snot runs down their face so which is more disgusting. Seeing snot or letting them blow their nose? Especially if they have a bad bad cold. They'd be stuck in the toilet never getting to eat. We neemorman ets at the table for sure but some things r just archaic. Maybe just expect an excuse me. Pardon me. I apologize for having a killer cold with this snot coming out of my head non stop undonctrolably and than thanks for not relugsting me to the washroom my entire visit. 😜
Heather Smith I would’ve stood up and pointed at his snotty face and said go clean that snot off you’re face you snot faced snotter and wipe your ass while you’re there you smell like shit
Hugo QP By the clothes the young lady’s wearing it looks like the early 1950s... Non-Italian’s used to break the Spaghetti before cooking. My Irish Nan (Grandmother) used to cut up our spaghetti on our places when we were little. 😊
And when breaking wind, break towards your left, never towards your right. And if per chance any poo were to slip out, try to inconspicuously dab it with your napkin. Make glib conversation about events of the day to divert peoples attention from what you`re doing. And then use your finger bowl as a miniature bidet and place it under your butt and dab your fingers in it and gently splash your butt with the clean water then pat dry with the clean side of your napkin. Then place your napkin clean side up on your plate so no-one will know you had an unforseen accident. Then go on with your next meal course...…….and of course be sure to ask for a clean napkin,,,,,it`s only good manners.
@@amberola1b Priceless comic genius! My stomach aches from the laughter! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This pretentious garbage is so offensive when one considers that, in 1947 even more than now, the majority of the human population never had enough to eat anyway. Some of the more imbecilic comments here are embarrassing to intelligent Americans. But we have the same airheads in Britain, I'm sad to say. Follow the advice of Greeks and Italians: If there's no mess on the table, you didn't enjoy the meal!
Healthy and Loving Life if ribs are on the menu you really do need a finger bowl because they’re very sticky and messy when my host doesn’t bring me a finger bowl 🍲 I wipe my hands all over the tablecloth it’sure raises eyebrows sometimes
restaurants in India and middle eastern countries still practice finger bowls.. always have..we eat with our hands..makes sense lol Even if we don’t dirty our hand. It still comes at the end of the meal; with a slice of lime.
Yes, the spaghetti always needs to be cut into tiny bits before eating, that is unless you have the maid to do it for you...and then we have people smoking at the table and according to you, that is good manners...
I'd rather be a happy, well adjusted, relaxed slob than an uptight weirdo who feels such a basic animalistic function as eating needs to be tightly controlled by militant rules and strictly monitored behaviours. I'm now off to sit in front of the TV in my underpants eating pizza straight out of the box.
@RUFUS T. FIREFLY I'm a left-hander too and I always have problems with some people but I don't care anymore. It's also not okay to force people to use the other hand. The brain of a left-hander is diffrent and we use our left brain side more than right. U can get a disorder when people force you to use the other hand especially by kids. In my country its not allowed anymore to force people to do this and parents or teachers can get charged for assault. My aunt did this to my cousin and she got problems with the law
I'm right-handed. Lots of people 🙄 find 💙 me beautiful 😍, especially 😍 my little baby 🐤 12-year-old brother 💙. He thinks that I'm beautiful 😍, cool 😎, awesome 👌, and nice.
8:20 "If the coughing lasts you should leave the table" NEVER DO THIS. People have died because they are choking or coughing on food and go to the bathroom to avoid being disruptive and then have no one to save them.
This was before Dr. Heimlich. It is really disgusting when someone is Heimliched at the table. I have seen it but you don't let someone die. The time it happened in front of me was a group meal at the synagogue and everything was paper. I just got people who were able to salvage their plates to do so and gathered everything up in the paper cloth.
😂 I remember being sooo thirsty at an office party - however, I couldn't remember if my glass was on the right, or the left - so, I took the one on the left - my boss gave me a wicked look because I took his drink.😬 Left (4 letters) = fork Right (5 letters) = knife, glass Decades ago & I STILL fret about it!😵
These old videos remind me of the videos we had to watch in elementary school about how to deal with caps/explosives (as the school was right next to a military base so finding this stuff wasnt unheard of)
Here’s one for fine restaurant.... there is still food on the plate but you are finished eating. Lay the knife and fork together across the plate center.... but the fork should be tines down. That ‘tines down’ signals you are finished to the waiter and the plate is removed without interruption or conversation from the food server. I bet you didn’t know that.
If you must belch during the meal, hold it in like your life depends on it. It shows good manners. Even if you have a stroke and die. When dying at the meal table, be sure to face forward towards your plate. It will let your host know you are done with your meal, after all, it`s only good manners.
Really! The lady said blow your nose if you must,well that is disgusting to do at the dinner table. I would prefer if the person would remove themselves from the table and go into the restroom to blow their nose. Also smoking at the dinner table should not be allowed at all,because you are going to have non smokers eating at the dinner table.
Back then though, literally almost everybody smoke. Even people that didn't smoke for the most part didn't really complain about it. I remember even when I was a kid going to restaurants that still allow smoking, and it was just a normal thing to deal with. You had non-smokers walking around stinking like smoke from other people. I can't imagine that people smelled too fresh
A simple sneeze or to dab a nose is one thing but of course if you want to really have a good long blow then best to excuse yourself to another room. This is my take on Australian manners anyway. Many communities are now varied in cultural diversity and it is best to take queues from your hosts. It is their event. As hosts they will do their best to make you comfortable. Guests in turn should be respectful and appreciative of the hospitality given them by their hosts.
Clenched fist holding the utensils. Bringing your face down to your plate. Elbows raised high. Speaking with food in your mouth. I see these things every time I go out for a meal. And that's just the in laws. Tee hee.
Maxi D because our country seems to be taking in all kinds of people from the Middle East that Are more used to eating with goats and pigs than at a kitchen table no thank you they can stay in their icaveman world or Europe
I used to get smacked with my elbows on the table. And I also was not allowed to drink anything while I was eating I can only drink after my meal. This is why I sit on the toilet and eat my meals. I learned to multitask if they can only see me now....😂
Emily Post came from a world most of us would never have encountered - Fifth Avenue balls, high society galas, wealth and privilege. Hence the table settings, behavior, etc. relate primarily to more formal meals rather than a simple middle class family gathering ("those households without a maid"). Some of the points are universal - blowing your nose in front of everyone like you're playing a trumpet - but the proper use of the finger bowl is a point most of us can skip.
Aadamtx: I agree; but if you have been taught the formal rules of dining, it is an easy matter to accomodate a simple meal. The reverse, however, is not true. Having said that, I find I am no longer putting out butter and fish knives, or the full compliment of glasses (let alone finger bowls) when setting my table for guests; so there is the point that a very formal table can make your guests uncomfortable these days.....
I too agree, but once one learns the "rules", then one can apply and adjust them to any situation. I don't use finger bowls, but I do wash my mouth and hands in the bathroom after eating, and I expect the same from my kids. I don't want sticky fingers touching everything in the house.
@@heidithomas5455 My husband and I like artichokes. I always put out finger bowls when we have them. You aren't expected to do a surgical scrub, but you should get the worst of the oil off your fingers with one. At formal dinners it is very rude to get up and leave the table mid-meal, even to blow your nose. You handle that as you would breaking wind. As discretely and silently as possible and the POLITE people around you will pretend not to notice.
My Mom had a copy of the 1960 edition of the Vogue Book f Etiquette Book of Etiquette. the emphasis was on "etiquette rules" as a means of making people comfortable at meals, They were not high-falutin' notions but practical, humane guidelines. The book also included wonderful advice on how to address many kinds of people in person or in correspondence--just in case you might meet the Pope or an ambassador. And that edition also had advice on hiring servants, and how to outfit them with appropriate clothes.
Lovely video! Still can't get over how differently we in the UK hold our knife and fork. Seem so strange to put the knife down and swap hands with the fork!
Also, i was taught that it was poor manners to cut anything with the fork. I was surprised to hear that was "correct." Also, taking inedible food out of your mouth with your fingers is okay? Huh. My dad was from Denmark...he ate burgers and fries with a knife and fork. Lol. Picking food up with your hands was frowned upon. After 40 or 50 years in Canada, he did eventually eat chicken and ribs with his fingers...but so very gingerly. 😄
I’m originally from the UK and taught my American-born children to use a knife and fork properly from the youngest age. When we would eat in public (here in the US), people would comment on how nice it looked. It WAS a pleasure for everyone to watch them eat using cutlery properly in the British way - not just for me.
I'm so bothered by the way they are passing the serving plates and bowls with their thumbs in the dish. That's a lot of hands in the same dishes. I work in food service and its proper to keep your fingers out of the interior surface of any plate or bowl served
Melanie Toth went to my favorite restaurant and the worker lifted a baby high chair (he swings the chair with the legs of the chair in the air above my table) I was instantaneous disgusted. Finger in bowls/ top of glasses when serving drinks definitely a major no no!
@@minemine1137 I was raised in an Italian household in the 50s and 60s. If I cut my spaghetti and ate it like she did, I'd have gotten a crack across the mouth...jk. But I would have gotten a,"What the hell is that?".
Regarding the bread on the tablecloth, Emily Post says in my 1945 edition, p. 345: Guest helps self to roll and lays it on tablecloth, always. No bread plates on table when there is no butter, and no butter is ever served at a formal dinner.
Clearly this woman has never eaten spaghetti before... in a perfect world, all stands of noodles will make it on the fork in a perfect order... but we do not live in a perfect world.
Besides just cut the strands into smaller sections that can easily be scooped onto your fork without having to "load" your fork. It's easier and saves one from getting sauce all over ones blouse!!! No drips!!!!
@@johnny-becker more then one way to skin a pole cat, darlin!!! I hate doing laundry with a passion, so finding ways to eat, short of wearing bibs is something I totally strive for!!!
I sure wouldn't eat asparagus with my fingers if they were drowning in Hollandaise sauce like the ones in the video. Nor if they were overcooked into mushiness.
Sandy Hook still has a small film industry, because it's only 60 miles (about an hour) from NYC. I am from this area and there are a lot of movie stars living in Fairfield county, of which Sandy Hook, Newtown is a part of.
I'm definitely born in the wrong era! I was born in 1960 and I still love learning about home ec, etiquette,... I even love older clothing styles & mid century furniture!
@@carolynridlon3988 I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I was born in 1963 and feel I was born in the wrong era. I really can’t relate to this world. I’m very old fashioned, only relate to lifestyle, music, tv, etc from 50’s, 60’s. Also love mid century houses and decor. I have several pieces of mid century furniture.
JD Aragón wrong! I’m from Australia and we never use the side of the form to cut. We always use a knife and fork and the fork always stays in the left hand as it should. Americans are the only western culture I know of that cut up their food and then change the fork to the right hand. It’s a silly act and very inefficient.
This is a lovely film, and I recognize that many of these table rules were established for efficient yet graceful service and to avoid confusion about the 'right' utensil or the order of serving. I grew up in the 70's and 80's with polite yet somewhat lax parents and little experience with formal dinners (though my paternal grandmother cared very much about conventional etiquette). So I grew up knowing what NOT to do, but not what I SHOULD do, if that makes any sense. I read about table etiquette and I enjoy these films too.
@@roverworld7218 That is cute if you're in Italy and you don't mind wearing your food (Italians have never been known for their table manners), and some cultures eat with just their hands, but in the civilized world we strive for grace and elegance at a proper dinner table. Italians also shove their napkins in their collars ... in every mob movie I have ever seen while eating spaghetti. If you're in well heeled company, pick up the soup spoon.
We we're trained to be able to manage a fork well enough to eat REAL pasta (not whatever that cut up limp stuff was) with just a fork. Having to use a spoon to assist was considered crass.
Not ostentatious at all. They are done quietly by habit. Far superior to how people are depicted in the movies where they gesticulate with their utensils and wave them around in the air like rapiers.
@@fergusmallon1337 What movies have you been watching? And telling someone which way to tilt their spoon to eat their soup is fairly ostentatious and has not real function.
About 45 years ago my grandmother looked at me like I was a bug on the wall. And through her horrified contorted disappointed face told me to go forward with your soup spoon knock and then eat it the soup. ........ FU grandma for making eating soup a source of soul crushing angst for my whole fail of a life. I miss her.
I don't. Unfortunately, virtually everybody else I know does! They just do not know any better. It was the way they were brought up. You know like, "Candy put your soup spoon on the right. Then decide whether to put your phone on the left of that or to put your phone on the right side of your salad fork.
I think one reason a lot of this is not taught anymore is that society has become less formal in general. My parents taught us the basics but not the finer points.
these actors have that weird mid-atlantic accent that some actors would affect back then to sound more sophisticated and/or sound neutral and non-regional. by the 50's it was pretty much gone.
Well I'd rather here a mid Atlantic accent, regardless of how affectatious it sounds, than to hear today's people say 'like' and 'you know' after every other word.
Letty Guerra • Like, it’s kinda easier to tell when, you know, people really can’t, like, come up with words of, you know, their own, which just, like, shows they’re using, like, a fifth of, you know, what’s that thing up there inside their, like, you know, their skull? Oh, right, it’s like, the brain! You know?
You were being a boor. You should have waited until after dinner or stepped outside. Are you that seriously addicted? I live in a country where people smoke like fiends but they have basic manners regarding doing it.
@@HobbyHillsVideos Casual American style. But at the level of Emily Post, you should hang onto your fork and not transfer hands. Children need to change hands as they eat; adults should be able to manage just fine without changing hands.
@@bobbbxxx No, it was always considered the other way. Probably to separate the "blue bloods" from the immigrants. Why should children change? It's awkward and takes more dexterity. Euro is much better.
@@Meira750 If someone is giving a tutorial as to the polite way to eat, he should learn to grasp a utensil in either hand and not flip them back and forth. It's not hard to do and looks MUCH less awkward than handing them over to the other hand (which looks gauche, to my eye)_