+jordan brown thats kinda true for me. im attracted to a certain look on man. and these are the kind of men i dont think i can ever be with (cause theyre totally out of my league), so i aspire to look like them (not look like a guy guy, but more like adopt their confidence, their sexy smothery kinda look, the badassery). if that makes sense... like i never aspire to look like a woman. but more like man = the badass look basically (im a girl btw)
I always like the way gay men looked dress wise ,dancing etc I copied them as a young person ,now older I still have cool style but more cis conservative
i think what it is is that you grow up and older and realize sexuality is a crock of shit and you just like whoever you like who cares who you want to be with honestly
+memelord anakie Also a good point. I feel that, especially in 2016, we have begun to live and love freely (quite like Free Love of the 60s and 70s, no?). But also, hormones applied to the brain yield scientific outcomes. Why the fuck are we so afraid of talking about ourselves in terms of science? In 20 years, all we'll be talking about is how anything and everything relates in scientific terms. Are we as trans people God-Fearing? I'm... frustrated about this
@ joe i think that a lot of it is as we change with testosterone we realize how basing attraction off ones identified gender is ridiculous as we see ourselves less as female and more as male (phisically) we realize how little gender dictates attraction thus you get the "testosterone made me gay" thing if there was scientific proof that T made you gay id stand by it but there is none so far so i try exploring other reasons sticking to one approach to a cause is poor form
"I'm not cisphobic, I have a cis friend" made me laugh way too much. I think it might also be due to the fact that many transguys pre-t want to be seen as manly as possible and society still says that gay men aren't masculine. Once you start t and get read as male 100% of the time you might realize that society is stupid and so you just do your own thing. (I hope this made sense...)
Been going through your old vids because you're a fascinating individual and couldn't help noticing how awesomely you're evolving. You have become so graceful and self-aware, and although this is not really DIRECTLY related to the topic at hand per se, I thought it was lovely of you and wanted to express this fact. Thanks, Chase. Love who you love; lust who you lust, that's YO OWN DAMN BIZNASS. I hope things ease off on you sooner rather than later. You deserve some smooth sailing boss.
When I realised that I was trans I also started feeling attraction towards women. I think this is because I never couldn't imagine me as a woman with a woman.
I'm a cis woman, so take this for what it's worth- just my experiences and thoughts. However, there seem to be a few fairly accepted ideas- gender is a spectrum rather than a binary; sexual attraction also seems to be a spectrum rather than a binary; and while the two are interrelated, they are also independent of each other. So, my thoughts run like this- in my experience, people may have a physical "ideal" they're attracted to, but that ideal can change over time. Also, sometimes one can find oneself attracted to a person because of who they are, instead of what they are (a crude way of putting it would be "attracted to what's between their ears instead of what's between their legs"). I've had lesbian friends fall for guys, gay male friends falling for women, and straight friends attracted to someone of the same gender. Add in hormonal changes and someone finally feeling like their outside matches their inside, and it seems to me that all sorts of changes could happen. So I would agree with you- I don't think there's a drug that would make someone *POOF* flip from gay to straight or straight to gay. It's a pretty complex issue, but I've seen enough people not transitioning or on hormones or whatnot going through these issues that I think it's more of a human thing. IMHO, gender is a complex spectrum, and someone can be at different points on that spectrum at different times in their life, and the same goes for sexuality. Wow, that was a long waffle, and I hope it makes sense.
Exactly! I'm a gay trans guy (I'm attracted to men) but I fell in love with my best friend who happens to be female. I've had people try and get me to admit that I'm bi or something like that but that just doesn't fit me. She's the only woman I've ever shown an interest in and it's as you said more of a fact of falling in love with the person not what gender they are.
This video was so fun (it made good points, but you made me chuckle lots also). I really want to make gifs of some of these moments, but I'm not very good at that and I don't have time to do that.
i agree with your hypothesis. in an earlier video you did, you touched on this very briefly and it made me realize i was attracted to guys. before realizing i was trans i also identified as a lesbian for a while, because i could never see me, as a girl, dating a guy. when i first watched the video where you talked about this, i was identifying as a straight male. i then considered what you said and, I'm not on hormones yet, but i began looking at it from an objective viewpoint. i has crushes on guys when i was little, and i could see myself in a relationship with a guy, as a guy. so now i identify as pan and like i said i think your thesis is pretty accurate.
Personally, I think it's just beginning to be comfortable with yourself, because before I started to transition I identified as asexual. I never had any sexual attraction, but after finally seeing myself as I wanted too and other people seeing me as I am I was much more open and comfortable when it came to sexual attraction.
I almost shrieked when I saw your Goffman book. Sociology is one of my majors at uni and for me it is really interesting to see that you applied the theory of dramaturgy. I have never thought to think of it like that. I guess that the trans-masculine identity can be seen as a role with certain unwritten rules and binaries. It is only when the front stage becomes the back stage that the role begins to change. Interesting.
Such great points, I can't believe there aren't more videos about this! I shifted from identifying as lesbian to gay man after coming out and still pre-T. Technically I'm pansexual but at the moment I'm mostly attracted to men so the label gay feels right. I think it's a combination of everything you mentioned and I especially like your Goffman theory. I think I was definitely a case of the "i think men are disgusting because I secretly want to be one". Thank god I left that way of thinking!
I personally think it has to do with being comfortable with yourself and also jealousy. it sounds weird but I always hated men for looking like that because I was jealous of their looks. when I came out and starting looking more masculine, I lost that jealousy and now I think men are hot af. I don't even like women that much, never have actually, but I pushed myself to like them for some time to fit into the manly stereotype.
I would also like to point out that people may be more comfortable coming out after transition when they had known and repressed their sexuality before.
I think most of it really comes down to unconsciously repressing your attraction pre-transition. I'm a bisexual / pansexual trans guy but I won't date guys anymore until I start taking Testosterone because it makes me kinda dysphoric. I'm kinda glad I understand my sexuality as a trans person pre-everything. A lot of people seem to struggle with that.
+HayloftAdventures I didn't think I was struggling with my sexuality at all, until my 3rd year on testosterone. Science usually rears it's ugly head. Hah not that our sexualities even fuckin matter, but you get me.
I love it when you push the envelope Chase. Plenty of people's sexuality stays the same when they start hormones or like you said, plenty of trans guys become attracted to women. I identify as Demisexual and I doubt that will change when I start T. I like anyone really long as we connect on some level. Maybe I'll lean more toward one type of person than another, who knows. ^^ Gothmans (?) theory could certainly apply here, the subconscious mind holds all sorts of things we don't consciously realize; being more comfortable with yourself can make some of those walls go down.
100% !!! I've only just started T, so I can't confirm for myself, but I do see a great potential for me to be open to dating / having flings with cis men once I feel more comfortable in my body, and when the way others see me is more congruent with who I am. Currently, being read as female, I find people, particularly cis men, make a lot of assumptions about my body and how I want to (or should) be touched and treated, and I find the level of conversation necessary to make sure I am understood and respected just completely turns me off - too much effort, and no guarantee that I will be heard. Like I always need to communicate my boundaries, desires, and sexuality with lovers, but I find people who are AFAB, trans, and / or non-binary to be far more receptive to that info. Also, with my top and bottom dysphoria as it stands, there's just a great potential for me to have a bad time. With T however, I'm less likely to be misgendered, assumed to be a sub, overpowered, or triggered. The more comfortable I am in my own body, and the more people see me as how I see myself, the less my sexuality will be repressed. I don't think testosterone will make me want to have sex with cis men, it will allow me to act on desires that already exist but are currently repressed.
ive actually never heard of this before, so thank you for speaking about it!!! im curious though, because im a pre-t transboy who is very attracted to masculinity & society's view of a man. and sometimes, when i overthink my sexuality and gender, i feel like one might be influencing the other or something like that. im curious tho,, because now im wondering that if i start testosterone, i might be more attracted to femininity & society's view of a woman? idk. i think peoples' sexualities and gender identities can really be distorted and stuff from anxiety, insecurity, depression, other mental ailments and especially external cishet/cis-non-het sources. so i definitely understand & agree with what youre saying in this video. its a very important and interesting topic!!! 🌠☁🌼
I feel you. I was bi before and after transition, like when I'm ~in the mood~ I don't care who's in front of me. I am more confortable around women now, than I was pre-t which I dig because that's always been a struggle for me. I could never just strike up a conversation with women I was attracted to, but now that I'm more confident in myself and my appearence, etc, I can. So basically, this is a long-winded way of saying I think you're right. It has a lot to do with us (trans men) coming into ourselves and feeling more comfortable and being able to feel and do things that we couldn't before. Ya know?
I think that testosterone can change your perspective of sexuality when people become more comfortable with their masculine identity (kind of like you said earlier about the backstage coming to the frontage thing). I know through my experience that I have come to appreciate men an masculinity and male relationships more because of the changes I have seen in myself on T.
I've been so confused about this myself. I've never been attracted to men. At all. Now 6 months on t, and suddenly unintentionally hanging out with mostly all gay men, I'm finding them cute af...but I don't want to pursue anything with them. However I'm starting to also think that I'm on the Ace spectrum and also just got completely scorned by the woman I love....so who knows...maybe just people in general are attractive to me because my eyes have just been closed to everyone in general because I only had eyes for the woman I was with...so anyway...yeah. I'm still just as confused about this topic as I have been the last 6 months... As a side note, good gawd Chase...you're cute af!!! And that hair!! We're twinsies!!
Lol at beauty, and i started watching you guys a few months ago and been thinking a lot about my gender and sexuality, after I heard you guys mention these things so much that it finally clicked, I am a trans male who is asexual, that feels so good to me, feels like being an asexual man feels right for me
I've always been gay. When I was in college, I thought of myself as 'a gay man in a woman's body." In fact, heteronormativity made it harder to recognize that I am trans--because I'm attracted to men. But I am more attracted to gay men, and most comfortable around gay men.
People can discover their sexuality more than once and every time think "yeah this me" but then may realize later that's not the case. so why does it surprise people that trans guys experience the exact same? I loved this video and u always bring up interesting topics. cause there are actual people who think trans guys can only be straight or else they are women?? like what, I'm a pan trans guy myself so that false fact really troubles me.
"I'm not cisphobic I have a cis friend" ahahahah you killed me with that one, I'm laughing so much. I agree with your theory, i'm not on T though but I came comfortable with being pansexual and I found out I was NB at the same time. It was really linked for me.
I have two theories... One is that going on testosterone makes you more horny than before, and when you're horny it's easier for you to be attracted to things that you may not have before. The second is that when you're transitioning, you focus a lot on all aspects of gender (social, aesthetic, etc) and so you find that you're attracted to masculinity itself, and that may end up in a situation that's like "Do I want you or do I want to BE you?" because if you're attracted to masculinity, you might end up being attracted to masculine people too. It's kind of hard to explain in words but it makes sense in my head.
i think your theory is 100% correct, it's actually what my gender therapist told me when i expressed my confusion/slight fear about me being suddenly very attracted to men. i also identified as a lesbian in high school and was completely grossed out by the idea of The Peen™ but it wasn't the testosterone that "made me gay," i started becoming interested in cis men a few months after coming out as trans, kind of when i became fully comfortable with my identity. so yeah, the whole thing with being comfy with yourself/your partner respecting your identity totally makes sense. sometimes it makes me wonder if my subconscious knew i was trans before i did.
I'm FTM and I haven't started hormones yet but I can still relate to this regardless, because after my antidepressants kicked in [and I received my gender dysphoria diagnosis] I did start feeling more comfortable... and attractions I never had before started to occur. So I think you've got a good point here, and all your video made perfect sense to me but then again I'm really stoned right now so make of that what you will. :V
I definitely agree that being on T makes your image of yourself change therefor giving you the ability to reevaluate yourself and what you want versus what society wants for you. That has been my personal experience and many, many of the trans men I have spoke too. But I don't think being on T is really the deciding factor in that, I think just self acceptance is and so many trans guys go on T to search for self acceptance it's hard to see a difference between the two groups. So my overall opinion is that when you come to terms with your gender identity and accept yourself as you are you can fully reevaluate your sexual orientation, often times you'll find out new stuff about yourself. Just my opinion.
I was exclusively into cisguys before transition.. and somewhere along the way, after transition, I stopped being attracted to cisguys and became more attracted to cis girls. I don't think it's necessarily testosterone that did it.. I think it's just that I'm just more comfortable with myself now. I'm still into some guys, but definitely more into women now. I think sexuality can be as fluid as gender can be. It could change again someday.. so I'm not fighting it. It is what it is, and I'mma just go with it.
I believe that kind of changes have to do with the role you are supposed to play on a relationship. To explain it some other way, I have never ever even desired getting pregnant and being a "mother", I thought it was because I don't really want children, but now that I know I'm trans and that I will transition, thinking of myself as a father seems like a realistic goal to me, because I'd be playing a role I feel confortable with... If that makes any sense
Favorite thing to do is watch your videos @ 1.5x speed. Always brings a smile to my face. ESPECIALLY when the topic of conversation moves towards the peen... ROTF LMAO
I think it's mostly about doing 'self inspection' and thinking about your feelings as you transition. Put simply, as you're probing your emotions and letting them come to the surface instead of repressing them (as I'm sure a lot of trans folk spent their childhoods doing), it isn't just feelings about gender that come to the surface. It's a lot of stuff, including things entirely unrelated to the rainbow (for example, meditating on whether I was ready to come out to my friends, I suddenly understood where my inability to share came from). The point is, among the things that we let come to the surface, nuances of our sexuality might as well. For context, I am a transgender man who has been attracted to men all my life. When I was around twelve, I thought I felt something for a girl I knew, but I dismissed it at the time; I didn't know what bisexuality was, and I didn't want to face something as confusing as liking both boys and girls. I was twelve and my body was changing in ways that made me scared and sad; I didn't need this 'I don't know which I like' bullshit, y'know? But six years on, those feelings came back with another female acquaintance after I transitioned, and now that I was paying closer attention to my feelings and I understood sexuality in general much better, I could recognize it. It felt for all the world as though I had 'become' bisexual just by transitioning, before I was even on any hormones. But it's much more likely that transitioning forces you to be honest with yourself, so some truths will come to light. I also have a secondary theory that is much less credible, as I haven't started my testosterone prescription yet (I can be a coward about change and I don't feel ready). This theory goes that the vast majority of people are not 0s or 6s on the Kinsey scale, but 1s and 5s. A clear 100%, in my experience, is the true rarity. Experiencing a spike in testosterone, which for a transman being injected with the stuff is more intense than even cisboys get, makes the libido go through the roof. Suddenly, mild sexual interest too slight to really notice becomes much harder to miss, and if you never considered the possibility before, it may seem to come out of nowhere. And to conclude this wall of text, I like your supposition that resolving our own body issues (or at least getting them under control) makes it easier to appreciate the physical attractiveness of others. I think that would work for newfound attraction to women as well. Looking at naked girls used to make me sad and angry because I knew other people saw me as the same as her. Now that I'm less insecure about that, I finally notice 'Hey, Tatiana Maslany is really hot.'
My story is literally identical to yours, except for the fact that I haven't started T. BAM, theory dead. T doesn't change your sexuality, transitioning and becoming more comfortable with you body and identity is what does it.
I'd always been primarily attracted to men but found I was becoming more interested in women once I was on hormones. For me it's definitely because I'm more comfortable and more confident in myself and I suppose I feel more connected and open with people. Going through a turbulent journey of discovering my own gender identity made me more aware of gender in general and how gender roles aren't innate and built into us but imposed on us so perhaps my attraction to males and females comes from me no longer really seeing in binary anymore.
I think it could be any number of reasons or maybe even a combination of factors. Our identities are multifaceted and may develop and change. Maybe you suppressed your sexuality, maybe your identity has shifted. It may be hard to tell, but I think it's important that we understand that our identity is valid and that it is okay if we don't feel the same way about our sexuality/gender identity/whatever consistently throughout our lives.
As a transguy who has yet to start t I identify as bisexual. I originally came out as lesbain, trans and now a bisexual transguy. I feel like I suppressed my attraction to men because I knew I was a man. I feel if I were born in a cis guy body I would have eventually found out I was bi anyway. all that should matter is that one is happy with who they are
I'm almost four months on, and it's been crazy. I don't want to sari that it's the hormones....BUT....every since starting T, my attractions have been all over the place. At first, it was straight men (just like pre transition--although in my younger days I had a bit of fun with a few women) and then women, then women and men, and then masculine gay men. Now it's everywhere and I've decided no label fits. It really just depends on my mood. Mind you, I'm still in a long term relationship with a straight man, so this info is based purely on physical/sexual attraction. I've never identified as straight or gay, maybe bi at one time. but now I just say pan. it seems to fit the best. I am not attracted to everyone (yes, people stupidly think that), my deep attraction is less about genitals and gender and now about them as a person, or who they are rather than what. :-) All of this could have been due too the exploration of my "backstage" self, but I do think the increased libido from the testosterone at an older and more sexually educated age could be a major influence.
This is pretty much exactly how it was for me, although I haven't started T yet. I started to realize I was bisexual after I came out and transitioned socially. Before coming out I identified as a lesbian, but for some reason after starting transition I was never comfortable with identifying as a straight guy. I think the reason I was so against dating men pre-transition was because there was always a lot of pressure to act feminine or to be a girl and I was just uncomfortable with that, but when dating women the gender roles weren't so strict and I was free to act more masculine (although lets be real I'm still pretty fem for a guy).
I know I'm super late to the party, but I found this video really interesting and wanted to share my thoughts. I have no idea what it's like to be on HRT, and I don't know how my experience being NB AMAB compares to what you've been through as a trans man. However, I do know that since I started to accept my gender, and so much as think about transitioning, I'm already finding my orientation is changing. So, for most of my life, I had identified as gay. Then, maybe a couple years ago, I started to broaden my perspective on gender and began calling myself androsexual. Around the same time, I started slowly finding myself attracted to an increasing number of genderqueer and gender-non-conforming people, and so have recently started thinking I might be skoliosexual too, which I guess makes me polysexual? And now, I don't know, I might be starting to notice women in a way I haven't before... My theory is that it was my negative feelings about my own femininity that were stopping me from being attracted to some people, and now that I hear you mention jealousy, I'm starting to think that that might be a part of it too... It certainly rings true.
since feeling more masculine I have been able to think about whether I could be with a guy or not. I'm not sure if the attraction is there but I have thought about how the dynamics of a relationship with a guy would work better now because they see me as myself and not a female.
So I have been unsure about my gender and been genderqueer for years, but I've always identified as pansexual with a 99% preference for women. But around 8months ago, I started thinking "Maybe I'm ftm transgender", and for the first time I felt like something fit me 100%, because identifying as genderqueer and a lesbian never felt right. But the more I've accepted myself, and the more I've started living as a guy, the more "open" I have become in terms of sexuality. I am more attracted to cis men, NB people and trans* people in general now, than I am to cis women. I haven't started T yet, but I just thought I'd share since you made this video about how your sexuality "changed" haha :)
I haven't started hormones at all. And I spent my whole life being bisexual. Not sure what will happen when I start T. Also what tattoos do you have I saw a glimpse of one on your arm.
For me my relationship with my gender has changed my perception of my sexuality... (AFAB she/her btw) When I was trying to be a normal girl because of being bullied in school I identified as straight. When I decided to let myself not care about what people thought of me I caught feelings for girls and identified as bi. This made me feel free to indulge in all the masculine things ive always been obsessed with and feel proud of my boyishness because I didn't feel the need to conform to the average cishet man's dating standards. This was a huge part of what made me happy in a difficult time and the first time in my life I started really caring about fashion and stuff. Before I would hide and hope I learnt to be normal. Now i'm almost starting to identify as gay because the masculine way I prefer to be just seems to fit better with dating women, and I'm really loosing interest in men sexually anyway and I dont know why. Fantasies still work but actual men even if I'm super friendly with them put me off....? Somehow ive failed at this upward trajectory to being totally chill with my attractions. Something in me can't deal with the male/female interactions somehow and it seems shallow haha. It seems weirdly tied up in what could be observed as a pretty wobbly gender indetity, which I mean is sort of supported by the fact that I watch so many transguy videos... But I have no dysphoria so that seems a dumb explanation. Anyway, all I was trying to say is, my relationship with my gender totally affects my perception of my sexuality, so I totally understanding this seeming shifting of sexuality in trans guys as they become more comfortable with themselves.
i was kinda having a similar conversation with a few other trans guys a while ago! i think that a lot of transmasc people who like men id as lesbians because it allows us to explore masculinity and masculine identities in a way thats safer and more socially accepted. like cutting your hair short and taking on male gender roles and looking more masculine and having """male interests""" (ugh) are all common stereotypes associated with lesbians because heteronormativity tells us that in order to be attracted to women and femininity in general you have to be masculine. so for me personally identifying as a lesbian was less about liking women and more about being able to be masculine, because everyone expects a certain degree of masculinity from lesbian. having that space where i could try different gender roles while still staying within the safety of ""normality"" (aka id-ing as female (shoutout to that internalized transphobia)) was really important in finding a gender identity i was really comfortable with. this isnt explained v well but honestly i could go on for days abt all this!
please do talk more about sociology :D i did understand what you were trying to say and i think i'd understand a lot more of that discipline coming from a friendlier voice like yours
I think for some people it has to do with being apart of a certain group of people for so long and becoming so entrenched in your identity, it is hard to let go. Like if you identify as a lesbian & feel community with other lesbians, then leaving that & identifying as a straight man is almost scary because you become the opressor & lose everything you felt so close to. Or for someone who identified as straight then transitioned and is now seen in society as a gay man, you lose your heterosexual privilege and have to face the world very differently. You definitely can't choose who you are attracted to but I think how you identify & who you identify with can play a big part in how you feel.
I'm a firm believer in sexuality being a fluid and that it can change overtime, but I agree that growing more comfortable with yourself influences who one is attracted to. You certainly hit the nail on the head when you said, "I knew I was supposed to be a guy, and I was like, I hate men." That basically explains my case. Before I knew I was trans, before gender was even a concern, I was attracted to both men and women. But then when gender became a concern, I started suppressing both who I was and how I felt towards men. Also, in middle school everyone was trying to throw a label on things and I found I looked like the stereotypical lesbian with the way I dressed and acted, so I figured I had to be one. There was also the fact that I wanted to appear masculine, and I thought that liking guys would make me more like the girls in my grade. So I had gone from identifying as bisexual to lesbian. Skipping ahead a few years, after I accepted I was a guy, I found my interest in men returning. Now I identify as pansexual. I am pre-t as of right now. I don't think testosterone makes you gay. Interesting video! : )
well, i think its just a change of perspectives on yourself and teh world around you. T / being seen as who you feel like makes you let go of insecurities or issues you might have had. For example: I always said that i was gay ( even without knowing i was trans ye i know its silly ) and i knew i was open so sex with women as well, but calling myself bi or even lesbian was the worst thing ever for me because its measn GIRLS with GIRLS and i just didnt feel it. ( it still is, im working on it ) so i thought i could never ever be with a girl ever. Wel,, then i met a girl who i sort of worked out i was trans with, she supported me and immediately started seeing me as a boy and bh she has never really slipped up with any pronoun or name. Well, with this support and being seen as a man i somehow managed to fall in love with her, wich was surprising, but a gift. and its literally just because im seen as who i am . i havent even sarted t but being a boy to her and myself made me let go off teh fear of being GIRL ON GIRL or whatever.every time i see her (ldr) i start to let go of more and more thing i thought i definitely wasnt into. like oral on girls or oral on myself. so, my point is: teh comfortable you are with yourself the more comfortable you'll be to explore yourself and your sexuality.
Firstly: OMG, CHASE, MY MUM TOOK ME MENSWEAR SHOPPING TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND OMFGJDSBAFS;DFGBJGGGGGG IT WAS SO AMAZING I HAVE JEANS THAT HANG ON MY BODY THE WAY I WANT THEM TO AND I'M SO HAPPPPYYYYYY!!! Thank you so much for all the inspiration you give me and... thank you so much. In relation to the video: So, basically i went through this weird thing. When i was in my early teens i was attracted to boys, but i then fell in love with this girl. Puberty hit, and the struggle was real, and I began identifying as a lesbian. However, as soon as I accepted I was trans, I accepted that I actually still liked guys. I kind of think that seeing myself for who I really was made me understand my sexual feelings more... that's my theory anyway. I wasn't repressing anything to match the feelings of masculinity, because it now made sense. Does that make sense? I think I was just more comfortable in my self
I'm not incredibly familiar with the contact methods on RU-vid, so I am going to assume the comments are the easiest form of contact. I have a theory close to what you had mentioned regarding not being attracted to men before you transitioned. You said you didn't think you were attracted to men, or at least theorize that you weren't attracted to men, because they were what you 'should have been.' That wall sort of keeping you from accepting your attraction toward them. In my case things are flipped, but I think the theories are still similar. In my theory, I have decided the men I found 'attractive' throughout my life, the men I knew I /should/ have had sexual feelings for (based on the way I thought things worked), the men I thought were beautiful and so on, I had these feelings for because I wanted to emulate them. I didn't want to have sex with them, I just really liked the way they looked. Seems a bit Freudian in a way, but it's still something I've been ruminating on lately.
Before I started T I identified as pansexual, but after a little while I started losing attraction to women. And just recently I've come accept the fact that I'm gay. I didn't really think it had to do with starting T but I looked into it more and I saw that it was kind of common so I stopped worrying so much.
A lot of people have fluctuating sexualities anyway. I don't know, maybe the change in hormones can help you fluctuate or something... it kind of makes sense because often hormones kind of start your first wave of attractions during puberty, but really in the end it doesn't matter. I agree that finally being comfortable with yourself can probably help you along in figuring out who you like. Anyway, just let yourself feel what you feel
First of all I wanna say that my understanding of gender and sexuality could be offending to some people and that's why I rarely talk about it in the LGBTQ+ community. Before I was on T, I knew that I was feeling repressed. I often felt awkward because I didn't know how to express myself, especially around men, and still be seen the way I wanted to be seen. I also KNEW that once I'm on T it would be easier to express my feminine traits. And it is! It's the same for me with sexuality. I knew I never wanted to be in a relationship with a guy who sees me as a girl/woman. (Also cishet guys are problematic in general.) In my long phase of doubting my whole identity I started to learn that gender and sexuality are so fluid, and it is very much about comfort. I feel comfortable with male pronouns, but still like being feminine? Great! For me gender and sexuality related terms are only labels to explain yourself and your preferences. I say I'm pan cause most people don't get 'I don't care'.
Dr. Meier studied this about 3 years ago. He found that the change in sexual orientation often started to occur after a person was approved for T, but before they actually started T.
I've always been pansexual, but before I came out to myself and others as trans I used to refer to myself as a lesbian and only ever act on my attraction to women and feminine non-binary people because I liked the masculinity of it. I liked talking to my cis male friends about girls because of how it associated me with them and with maleness. Although I felt attraction to men I never acted on it or talked about it because the level of femininity associated with being perceived as a woman in a relationship with a man was disgusting to me, which I mistook for disgust of men. When I came out as trans to myself and others, I revisited my feelings for men and found that I was far more comfortable with and enthusiastic about the idea of being with men now that I had figured this out about myself. So for me it wasn't the testosterone, it was just the identity--although being on T and consistently passing when I'm with my boyfriend has made me even more comfortable with it than I was before.
i think after coming out as trans (ftm) i became more comfortable and confidant with myself so i was more open sexuality wise. now idgaf who im attracted to as far as gender and sex as long as we have a good emotional connection.
I've also thought peoples' attractions can change - or rather, broaden, I guess - once going on hormones because they're more comfortable with their bodies. Because once you're more comfortable in your body and with yourself, you're just a lot more comfortable with life in general, which allows you to be more open to things. Personally, all the crushes I've ever had on anyone have been on guys, and I've always just felt like I should be a gay guy. (Ironically, though, when I was "female", everyone always thought I was a lesbian.) But it's weird, because since I've been on hormones, and have been seen as male by most of society, I've started to be more open to the idea of thinking girls are attractive. Still not really in the same way as guys, but more so than I ever thought I would. I think maybe some of it has to do with the fact that I hated being a girl so much, that I was really distancing myself from seeing anything good at all about the female physique, etc., because I just despised everything about it so much because I had such an awful relationship with all the "female" stuff that was happening to my own body. But I dunno, now that I don't have to deal with most of that stuff anymore, now that I really feel more physically male than female, and now that I understand that people who identify as girls actually do like that stuff, I can see how it is attractive on other people. So I guess I've kind of gotten to a point where I'm comfortable enough in my own "maleness" that I can sort of see girls as being attractive. If that makes sense. It's still definitely not as strong as my attraction to guys, though. But then sometimes I wonder if that's just me now starting to feel insecure about being "gay", since before presenting as "female" and liking guys I was considered "straight"...which doesn't make any sense for me to feel uncomfortable because I have never had a problem with people being gay or thought it was weird or anything. Then again, I've never actually been in a relationship, and my only kisses have been in musicals or in games of Truth or Dare way back in middle school. So who knows. Basically, I'm not labeling myself; I'm trying to stay open to anything. It's an interesting topic.
I think being on t allows you to be the you that you've always known you are and gives you the ability to focus on other things besides being so focused on your gender identity so because of that you figure out things about you sexual identity that you didn't see or notice before because you weren't as comfortable with yourself as you are now
I'm pre T but have really been going through a sort of broadening of horizons sexuality wise over the last 6 months or so, pretty much in line with becoming really solid in my male identity. Used to be exclusively into women, now probs going to end up as pansexual or whatever. Serious boy crush ongoing....
oi chase! I'm a transguy and I'm not on T. But I recently noticed attraction to masculine persons. But never cismen. Is that weird? Because right now I feel like I can't be attracted to cismen. Because they are what Im not and that only makes me sad and dysphoria and shit idek. But I feel attraction to masculine persons expect any cismen. But I can picture myself being with a cisman if I was physically transitioned. Because dysphoria
Maybe it has to do with the idea that one is born gay, and maybe the attraction is to be attracted to a body type that is the same/similar to yourself. when you go on T, your body starts changing and you like it, its the body you imagined. So you find yourself "attracted" persay to your new body type, and you are attracted to men. thats just my theory
I agree 100% that its mostly because we are more comfortable because before realizing I was trans and starting T I'd look at a dude and think "well he's hot" and I'd feel soooo gay for it (even tho I was a "girl" at the time) I'm not down for a relationship (I think) but now being on T for like 3 months and being seen as a dude I definitely feel more comfortable with the idea of it but I still don't think I'd be interested sexually or emotionally for a relationship but I'm wayyy more comfortable with thinking a cis guy is cute or something. lol
?? testosterone doesn't change your gender.. what are you trying to say? im a trans guy and i like women, im still a straight guy even when i take testosterone..
+teethglitter it was a little tongue in cheek... But if you're female and into guys you're "str8"... Take T to transition to male and into guys, you're "gay". Though I agree with Chase entirely in this!
I think for me that I have just always been gay, like my gayness came on my transition with me? If that makes sense. Like literally my attraction has changed so many times during the course of my medical transition. I sometimes joke that I have an egotistical sexuality because I always seem to be attracted most dominantly to people who look similarly to me [like when I was v new to T I was really into twinky hairless guys, started growing a beard and getting bigger now I'm into bears a lot more?] idk that's my personal theory for me and I know that it is heaps different for lots of other people but I do think it's interesting.
This is one thing that concerns(?) me as I am asexual. I've never felt any sexual attraction to anyone of any gender. I've identified as asexual since I was 21 and so the idea of suddenly finding people sexually attractive kind of freaks me out. The idea of alien to me. So I'm just hoping when I go on T nothing happens, because it would probably freak me out and confuse the heck out of me.
Okay so. I'm FTM right? And I am attracted solely to men, always have been. So I was wondering if I would like start being attracted to women on Testosterone?? Because I really kinda don't want that to happen at all. Ever.
Idk I haven't been binary-identified in my sexuality since I learned that bisexuality was a thing. (And then later realized I was pansexual because I feel that term is more inclusive toward trans and non-binary people.) I seem to always end up in relationships with men even though I tend to think I'm more interested in women. Which is probably because I only started hormones 9 months ago and tended to attract straight men. (At the time was okay with identifying as a female-bodied genderqueer person [now consider myself a non-binary trans dude] so I didn't feel that the attraction to my body was necessarily invalidating to my gender. HOO BOY do I feel differently now.) I've been noticing women a lot more since before I started T and that trend has sort of continued. But now am having a casual relationship with a pansexual cis guy because guys are familiar territory and I don't really get out there in terms of dating. I have no idea how to relate to women.
More than a year on T and I'm still not attracted to men, but I AM more comfortable around them. I used to be super uncomfortable around men, but now I'm fine. So maybe that has something to do with it. It's hard to be attracted to someone you feel uncomfortable around. Also, I've always thought that being in a relationship with a cis guy (or even post transition trans guy) when you're pre transition isn't appealing because in comparison to them you seem very feminine, even if you present as a very butch female. But once the gap closes and you're seen as male no matter who you're with, the idea of a relationship doesn't carry all that extra dysphoria baggage, so your sexuality opens up. I dunno, it ultimately comes down to the individual and I think too many trans guys are stressing about the possible change of their orientation. I'm transitioning, I pass most of the time now, and I'm still exclusively attracted to women despite being open to other options. So stop stressing, it doesn't happen to everyone :)
I feel like over the years I was very not attracted to women because they were pretty much everything I hated about myself. On the other hand, men I idolized and was jealous of, I was attracted to the male physique and wanted it for myself. Now that I've started my transition things have got complicated with my sexuality and I now think I'm not only attracted to males.
I found that when I was on T & my sex drive was higher men tend to have lower standards & are less picky about sex. At least on internet profiles. And my standards also got lower on T so that's why I was more into guys back then (sexually)
I actually started feeling attracted to men out of nowhere a few months before starting testosterone (which was today woo!). I think that even if i wasn't on hormones back then, the fact that more people accepted me as male and called me by my real name made me feel more comfortable with the idea of being with a man. but idk
I think of it like how cis people, after they go through puberty they become more comfortable with their sexuality or discover more of it. And with you transition you kinda go through "puberty" so after you are comfortable and discover more of your sexuality (I'm a trans boy but I'm pre-T and everything)
