THAT POOR LADY! MY JAW DROPPED 😳😱  

Yea he’s not ready for a relationship until he gets things worked out.

Not to mention the mom (at least) is enabling it too!! Saying "oh charlotte would've looked great in this dress" like, lady, i understand charlotte was going to be your DIL, but she's long passed on and your son was going to marry op... stop comparing her...

Not everything needs a therapy Band-Aid. Also, it's okay to bring the people you love into your life. You don't have to go it alone.

@@friendly.little.monsterThe comparison is what I think is wrong. His family constantly comparing op to Charlotte must be hard for op to deal with.

@@friendly.little.monster therapy is not a “bandaid” what??? its a healthy way to understand and process your emotions when you can’t do it alone… and yes its perfectly fine to do that once you have fully processed and healed from your loss which he hadn’t done

Yeah, the very fact that he thought she should accept a ring with his late fiancee's name engraved...? wtaf? Glad OP came to her sense and realized this guy is clearly just settling for her because he's not ready to move on.

@@fdm2155like there’s no way he thought that was okay

Yea that’s the first big red flag and when it still has her name engraved into it..

​@@fdm2155 Also it was her engagement ring that she probably died while wearing which adds another serious weird factor to it.

​@@paulagoeringer9466 oh hell that's right, makes the whole proposal creepy as all hell. Wearing the jewelry of lost family is one thing, but of lost love, who wore the ring when passed, that's the creepiest red flag from this guy.

😮 I didn’t catch that at first

Yep

Yeah, that was too fast. He needed more time to grieve.

Excuse me if I may ask what is a freak accident????

@gillgillrichardson906 He didn't have an ending and a new beginning. Getting with her so soon makes it seem like he viewed it as a continuation of the relationship with Charlotte. I can't help but wonder if the two women look similar.

He's a jerk though. Wasted someone's time

I wouldn't be with a man who can't get over a past gf dead or alive. I understand it tho. It's not like they chose to break up she was ripped away from him. Hard to get over that if it's even possible to. That being said tho I wouldn't get with a man in general who loved someone else enough to marry them.

​@@Lili-dv6lmexactly. I'll never date a widower

To two people in here- then don’t expect anyone to date you if you go through a similar trauma. Not trying to be rude here, but I’ve seen to many people not hold themselves to the same standards they hold others. Not a good look-

​@@Youngnrrwhtjwtjetk How does that make him a widower?

Whole lives can be ruined because someone couldn't live up to the "memory" of a predecessor- and not for lack of trying. I have seen it happen to someone very close to me.

yea I get that he's grieving but if Charlotte could only see that he's using another person to fill in her place that would be really hurtful. Imagine the person you loved make someone replace you instead of just moving on and wishing you peace in the afterlife 😢

She's dead. She wouldn't care because she doesn't exist anymore.

​@@noneofyobiznizz9516not everyone believes that

yes.

But she dated him the same year his partner passed away. So, that's on her.

@@tessajones9393not really? The guy also agreed to date. They both wanted to, if he wasn’t over her he shouldn’t have jumped to date someone else

​@@tessajones9393that's not her fault though, she's not the one who has to deal with the trauma so how could she know

@@tessajones9393 A man should not put himself on the market unless he is ready. He pretended he was. This is 100% on him.

@@tessajones9393no it isnt?

Acknowledge? He clearly didn't, if she didn't turn him down he would've pushed the wedding and got married to her, she's the one who acknowledged the situation

He’s been in a relationship and proposed to another woman. On the verge of marrying someone else. You’re proud of a guy who basically wasted another woman’s life for 5 years?

But they have been together for 5 years. This dude is a clown.

@@zizojaezekeom3565he admitted he’s not ready. That big in terms of relationships and grief

Thats far in wedding planning?

But they have been together for 5 years. This dude is a clown.

Thank you! Like I get that he may not have realized how much he wasn’t over her but come on you gave the woman a ring with another woman’s name on it you should 100% know better than that. It’s respectful to both OP and the deceased gf

She needs another man who is no longer in love with his ex.

​@@livelovelaugh85 i mean it's one thing for her to be alive and its another for her to be dead. Hes literally just grieving the only problem is he keeps bringing her into their life together.

@@livelovelaugh85He’s grieving but he needs therapy before he enters a new relationship

​@@zoozo7046she should still break up though in my opinion. If she wants to she can wait and ask him to find her when he's ready (and prove to her that he is) or atleast she can move one with someone better for her. I don't blame him for grieving but the fact that he's still in the past and still chose to be in a relationship to the point of marriage is nothing short of deceiving the poor girl

@@Autumn-xs1bt he obviously loves her and has been open about his feelings so there is no deception what so ever. Its only that he isn't ready for marriage.

That's also a lesson. To be patient🙂

He can't have pictures of someone who he was close to and died? It'd be one thing if she was a living ex that he could get back with, but are you going to force someone to pretend that a dead loved one never existed? Wtf?

​@@msjkrameybut having constant reminders, not onlt pictures but the family reminding, makes it quite clear that hes not ready to move on. Moving on is healthy

My sister passed away should i take her photos off the wall too? pictures and family talking about her is not gonna him forget a person he loves@@HellstreamGames

​@@HellstreamGamesthere are still pictures of my late nana in my grandad's house even though he is with my step nan now. It's not always a sign of being unable to move on.

Not ex late

At least he realized that before he got married, imagine if he realized that 30 years later after they got married and had children, poor guy

​@@HarmonyOCPoor guy? poor girl

@@livelovelaugh85 poor both

@@HarmonyOCyes poor guy but I think a lot of ppl feel worse for the girl who literally wasted her time on a guy who didn’t love her and loved his late girlfriend. It’s so much sadder for her, he had five years! Five, and he didn’t know?

​@@HarmonyOC he wasted 5 years of her life so poor girl screw him he should've healed himself

People obviously don't get that they probably would divorce their de*d fiance/spouse later in life if they were living. It wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows 7 years down the line. Someone will screw it up and cause resentment. People need to let go of fantasies.

@@melmelbry5754 if that’s how you feel why bother getting into relationships at all

Why is that not okay??? I feel that’s normal 🤔

You're the weird one

Don't listen to the other comments! The way they handled it is really weird! Yes, ofc you don't wanna forget a dead important family member, but pretending they are still alive is not the way to go. I totally understand why you left that relationship and I'd do the same.

​@@skyleecranmer274to pretend a person that's been dead for 15 years is still alive?? To prepare the table for a person that's already one and a half decade gone?? No! It's not normal! Yes, ofc you don't wanna forget them, but that seems more obsessive and not like the right way to let that person go.

​@@Marymackthequeenofwackno, she isn't

No respect for him, 5 years?! And still going to marry, she's the one who saved both by stopping everything, he's nothing but a coward and a user

But like the ring and he wasted five years… i can’t respect that 🙁

​@@weeblebeeble3016let's stop babying people, it's 5 years we're talking about, he deserves criticism if it was 1 year or even 2 i get it, i lost loved ones too but i never ever played with someone's emotions or used anyone as a replacement or to move on, you look like the type of people who would say "oh he suffers from mental illness it's okay he's a bully cut him some slack" no, he F up and it would've been a disaster if she didn't say anything, i empathize with him but at the same time i don't like excuses and selfish people

​@@weeblebeeble3016 imagine proposing to someone with the name of your dead ex girlfriend engraved on the ring you're giving your current partner. Imagine BEING THE ONE TO PROPOSE fully knowing you aren't over your ex. Imagine having someone live thru your own grief at their expense. Reasons ARE NOT justifications.

Hard disagree on the pictures being a dealbreaker here. They didn't break up, she DIED. Of course he still cares about her. The dealbreaker is that he was using his new girlfriend to essentially be an actress to play as his prior fiance

But to be fair, having the pictures on the wall is a clear sign that he wasn't over her.... It shows that he's still grieving.

@@Rubynell255 yeah a freaking museum to a woman he can't let go of. I been on the other side of something similar except at time all bodies were alive. My Ex remarried after we split. We remained friends. I couldn't deal with his alcoholism. Was better we broke up so he could work on him. Only he didn't want to end us he wanted to come back and I knew we were done. So he on rebound married another woman. On their wedding night he called out my name twice. Then he gave her my nick name so he wouldn't slip up and call her Becky again. He called her Boo boo. So our kids are very close they are sisters by choice. So he been married about a year at this time and we threw a big Christmas dinner and invited him his new wife and her children. Problems his daughters were not very accepting of her or her kids. So was kind of tense. And the woman was jealous of me. Me I was like I am not going back he was her problem. So I get up and go in the kitchen to get some more drink. I ask if anyone wants anything and he says: Booboo bring me some water. Cue awkward silence because the look she gave him almost torched the house. Her: Boo boo is my nickname. He went red as a beet and said: Well she was Booboo first. Needless to say she got up thanked us for dinner looked at me like I was dirt and got her kids and left. She also told him he could figure out how to get home on his own. His daughter took him home. I moved to Florida a year later. A year after that he left her and moved to Florida. Shacked up with another woman while still married to the other one. Called me about a week before he died said he was coming to see me before going back to her. Found out that the widow thought he was with me for the 3 years he was down here. I only talked to him on the phone 4 times. Never saw him.Yeah not fun for anyone.

They're not exes though. She died. And what if a guy you're into has kids? His kids can't have complete family pictures in the house because you're jealous? That's so embarrassing for you

@@msjkramey I understand that she’s dead but he shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship if he wasn’t over her yet and they never said they had kids like I don’t think most people would want a boyfriend or girlfriend, have their exes photos up still I never mention kids

@@yuriwk7649 so he should pretend she never existed?

@@msjkramey do you think having no photos in the house of your ex- girlfriend means you shouldn’t think of them at all like they don’t exist like if you don’t have a photo of them you don’t remember them at all

@@yuriwk7649 she not an ex. They didn't break up. She's dead

He thought he was. You don't always realize that you are broken and need help

​@@scavenderbirddidn't realize that for 5 years?

​@@hibamuneeb8928 I assume you haven't lost a partner you were about to marry. Let's not act like we know half of what that feels like

what about her? she probably felt like a second choice in those moments. he shouldn't have gotten into a new relationship if he was not ready to let go of his deceased gf. he's just playing with both his feelings and the girl's as well

They clearly love each other but he just misses his past Gf and he admitted to it and said sorry think they would benefit more from couples therapy then anything

@@haykay2787no, something like that needs its own help, he’s not in love with her like he was with his ex and it just seems like the new girlfriend is a replacement in hopes to find charlotte in her, this is something he needs to move on with before finding another lover, and she deserves to find someone who is ready to love only her

Exactly.

She said she turned him down at first, then he got her a new ring and she thought it was settled. So she didn't accept it.

Uhm, that's his dead girlfriend?? Huh??

Doesn't matter. If he's over it and ready to move on to someone else he'd remove the images.@@Morbiscrazygirl4447u

My dad told me that my late grandpa still had pictures of my grandma up and out even after he remarried til he passing then step grandmother gave them to my dad and uncle

​@@pink-a-palouza7888 Same except he didn't remarry. Addressed and handled like sensible and good people. You don't have to erase physical existence that someone was around previously.

He*