The 9 RED FLAGS When Dating You Should NEVER IGNORE! 

We stay because people are not perfect and we try to give the relationship the benefit of the doubt by working hard at it to see if in time will the two spirits eventually gel together or will they work against each other. This is just a thought of genuine people.

@@Jamworldtv o999

I wish I could talk to guest #3 “the abstinence guy” . These were good interviews btw., Lewis. Thank you!!!

Done ☑️

Ni

I believe everyone must go through these kind of unhealthy relationships, there wouldn't be enough wisdom in our hearts if it wasn't for it. Now, what you point out is crucial, after being that "healer" in a relationship and have learnt all the pain it brings, we no longer need a second relationship like that, but it really happens... over and over, we tend to meet new people like them and it's then when we got that chance of not allowing that ever again.

Word

I have learned if I feel pity for someone, to leave the dynamic. The perpetual “victims” who “need your help” are just manipulating another sucker! If someone can’t rely on their own people and family to dig them out of a hole, don’t let them drag you into their mess.

Codependency at its best

I agree

I speak to provoke...and walla reactions come😷

I'm getting better with that, it is my desire and intention.

That comes from the Bible and it's full of other wise words to live by. 🙏

@@Roblox-c5r absolutely, that where I found it. And you are so correct.

I wish the host could learn this lesson

I join u ..this mother is teaching self love self care ..after my heart break it was my me time 2 tlc me ...

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT❤️

What you need to do is lower your expectations in regards to the men you want... speaking frankly, you had a daughter by a man that is not in the picture because you lost him or tried to babytrap him... being a single mom, the caliber of men that you can lock down is very slim, so if you're shooting for the stars you are going to fail 100% of the time, because if a man commits to you, there's probably something about him that WILL turn you off in the long run... TL;DR - you need to realize at this point in your life, you cannot expect to attract the same type of men you were able in your early 20s and childless...

@@ginkamikaze2 it's too late she's already a single mother and undate-able

@@ginkamikaze2 we got a Kevin Samuels fan here

First Corinthians 13:1-8 0

Real, romantic love doesn’t exist. It’s a Hollywood invention. Devotion and caring, those are not love.

@@MandenTV so what is real love?

👌🏼so true to so many of us. Thank you for putting it into words. It’s a hot mess to understand it for oneself as an adult.

@@goodlife8044 legit question.

#1 Abuse of any kind is NEVER okay. With that said, you're right in that it's complicated AND "We teach people how to treat us." Victims & perpetrators of abuse are both a symptom of the same cycle. Both, as individuals, must examine their internal world inorder to discover the role they play & thus, become empowered to break the cycle for good. If a 'victim' doesn't do this, they will forever remain the victim & the cycle goes on, and on, and on...

So true, this advice is awful if you're dealing with someone who has Narcissist Personality Disorder.

Well said. And people aren’t aware of the cycle of abuse and trauma bonding. You nailed it. 🎯 Assuming we get out we can look at how we got in to the relationship and what we can do next time to avoid those kinds of relationships so the pattern isn’t repeated in the next one. 💛💛💛

Well said bruh

Wow....excellent comment 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Well said

Very sad that caretakers would abuse their children, but Unfortunately very true - it happens bc they are abused and damaged too!

God loves you so much and a relationship with his one and only son Jesus Christ can heal any hurt, and gives you peace that passes all understanding. Call on him today to save you and welcome you into an eternity spent in heaven.

We try to learn love from another human and that is where we are going wrong putting our trust in the wrong place. A rare gem will be there in the form of an angel to care for your needs just as you are there for another friend or stranger. We all have these good and bad moments. Get stuck in the good moments!

@@Roblox-c5r the lord hears all crystal heals all wounds..he is always on time..he did it 4 me he can do it 4any1

yeah I tend to quit talking when listening stops.

Impossible

Your right

And when you don't talk to me I over think and make assumptions

On one hand I applaud you. I appreciate the fact that you understand yourself enough to know that. On the other hand, I sincerely hope you breakthrough it because we all need someone, and can do better with the Right one.

I like my solitude too. I find when I'm with someone I go into entertainer/provider/caretaker/placater mode. That's not their fault, but I have trouble turning it off and it's exhausting

Alone means Alll One. Are you complete spiritually and mentally.... If so then that would be true.

@@olandofuller5588 that's nonsense. Alone means no one else present.

Be careful. I've spent a lot of time in that land. It's a seductive trap. Go for vacation only

I had a similar relationship that lasted over 20 yrs. It was in therapy that it was defined exactly what he was doing. So happy you got out and hope you continue to heal from that and grow.

Or you probably never shared yourself with him and got fed up and felt the need to find someone that would fulfill his needs

That's because you lied on your vows. For better or worse was not true. He needed you in a down time in his life and you left him. I'm glad he replaced you and someone else is sleeping in the bed you once shared. I'd bet my life savings you are not as innocent as you say. You didn't divorce him without someone lined up.

We tend to put on blinders while dating by putting up with certain behaviors and after marriage we say the other has changed. Sometimes we get involved too soon. We need time to see how someone reacts with ours friends. What makes them angry and how well do they make up. If you're dating a man or woman and every occasion is surrounded by alcohol, he or she is an alcoholic. Check their family background for mental illness etc. We all are broken which is why we need to assess ourselves from our childhood because it takes two to tangle.

@@jwill9877 sorry this your comment is toxic even if she got someone lined up what is wrong? So she should die from emotional abuse just because she vowed for better for worst garbage collection if I get married my vows will be for better untill respect is not mutual I don't respect people who don't respect me the energy you give is what I give back .

Right!

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What if your ex is friends with all your lady friends on Facebook so does she still care or isn't this a little weird ?

Agreed, but also Subtle hints of subliminal messages of a prerequisite Divorce.

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Unless you are ready to work for unconditional love you are not ready for relationships or parenting..we are all flawed

@@MBravo-ki4vl it's really true ..if you stick together and hold on through those dark days..relationships will go through valleys and peaks..but if you hold together you become stronger and better people.. Too many people give up too fast..

@Endless Nameless if you base your relationships ,on money ,feelings ,emotions or any physical thing ..your relationships will be temporary..all the above things are temporary

@Endless Nameless I was raised to be possessive and jealous and in my old age am seeing the errors of those ways.. Men from Mars women from Venus is another farce.. Men and women are basically the same but come in many different Flavours. The difference have to do with their roles in the mating cycle. Just watch the birds . Media propaganda and political social and political influence s have mess with natural inclinations. The female builds her nest ..hatches her eggs the male adds his sperm and helps bring food to the nest til the little birds fly away. Just how it is. She takes care of the nest while he is free to deal with bigger issues. This in times past has caused women to fell unimportant and unnecessary. Usually it was the women who reared the children ..the boys were given over to the men around 13..where he was taught to hunt fish or do a trade.. The female role was to care for children elderly and sick. Of course when a boy was born it was a huge celebration as the men would be getting more help. Again these trends made some women feel unimportant and some wanted to mimick men to feel more valuable. A wise old shrimp fisher put it this way..we keep the males they're food for today..throw the females back . they're food for tomorrow..sounds harsh..but the men hold it for today..the women must create tomorrow.. The mars Venus man has it wrong on many points. Nowhere in nature is the male visual..the males follow odors and smells.. It is the me who is usually the most colorful ..to attract the mate. Modern media propaganda has conditioned him to be visual. Go look at the typical batchelor apartment and get back to me. Another thing that concerns me is Mr mars Venus and other men's groups say women don't love ..big lie women love in different ways..in nature she always ends up with the empty nest. Men see love in a more possessive way ..women are more able to love and let go..the natural female has to be that. once a women completes menopause it is natural for her to lose interest in sex..when a man in good health he can retain interest in his later years . That is nature as the woman ages caring and baring children can be to great a burden.

Threats that they are going to put you somewhere where yuor locked up ect......you ll have food ect.......for your own safety they say helping you they say....so you stop runningect....when they supposibly rescued you from that. Of coarse this person couldnt have control on me at time........I dont know if thats sounds coherent, I better go to bed.

Just ended one for yelling. I can't deal with it. Once it starts there's resentment and hurt behind it, void of logic.

@@drehardin When on dates, test them to see if they are yellers. I suppose its more complicated than that. Sorry! THANKS for replying!

@@drehardin what do you do if it is your own sister. self-proclaimed, "alpha female", that is what she said. Anyways, yelling at me on numerous occasions, because her orders were not carried out to the letter. Trivial, and kind of made-up. I knew it was going to happen. I was ready for it. From the last visit. I felt I was at the Zoo, seeing an "alpha female", in the wild, and amazed at the art of being, "offended", perfected. NEXT time, I will record it !!! ha ha ha ha !!!

@@mikearthut781 no such thing as a alpha female. Shes a lost female on a feminist trip. I'm sure she has a few mask she wears to make herself feel good and probably dont talk to people above her like that.

Same here! All 4 were a big part of my childhood and have negatively impacted all my romantic attempts. I love when she talks about sex and the way women actually feel towards it, too. She was spot on. Personally, I've had a lot of sexual trauma and had a lot of healing to go through. But even after all that, experiences have died so quick, felt like the men didn't even care about my enjoyment and I've genuinely lost interest entirely. Turns out they just didn't understand how to please women.

Wow..me too unfortunately. I'm trying my best to transcend. It's not so easy for me.

Good simple point friend

@@kelleybright3113 Sometimes we acquire more data & info on our 'trauma/hurt' and then it comes into focus!

Really learned a lot. Great speakers Relearning common sense and more Thanks for getting good guests

So we are nothing but a vehicle to do the bidding of another being who never allows us to see him, …hmmmm, seems like a healthy outlook on life…

@@andreamartin2953 God Has Given you free will to believe think whatever you want he doesn't force his creation to serve or praise him

@VA Homie You Should Do It Only if it glorifies God

So true you are either a liability or assets to them he practically asked me what do I get from this relationship? You keep taking and taking and in my head I don't know what I have took 🤣 he went on and on to the point when he orders pizza and I start eating I felt like a looser even when I can get us that pizza men like that are toxic he will raise his voice when we had conversations when I told him to stop shouting at me he will say this is just my voice but that was a lie when we talked other times he got calm voice he said to me your feelings are senseless and I told him that was invalidating because all emotions are valid.

My rule of thumb is, if the person/relationship makes us feel Jealousy/& Insecurity: it's not the right time to be dating. Counterfeits come when we go out of God's timing. Valuing yourself and not settling for anything less, weeds out All Counterfeits! Even in friendships :)

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Right! Choose the people who choose you 😊

I think some men are Pheromone chasers they ride out the chemical high

Assess yourself but don't let a narcissist flip it on you

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You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡

@@lewishowes to get the

@@lewishowes to get the

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Really great content and learning A lot from everyone’s response to the videos as well

It helps keep things going

Audrey hepburn discussed that.

Ditto

Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

People have lost the art of being with other people. We live in a 7 billion lonely islands

@@marcduchamp5512 yes 👏

Uhh who cares really. I mean is there a point here

@@marcduchamp5512 exactly

@@corby1228 no

Kudos to you. Im 41 and still trying to figure things out and thought I should have gotten everything figured out by now. Better late then never,praise God.

I know I just let it run and absorb the gold gems sink in.

Appreciate you! 🙏

Can you actually listen to this for 3/ 1/2 hrs. Just curios

@@pastryshack551 yes it’s great while cleaning or getting paperwork done!

@@pastryshack551 I could and probably have. I usually can't just cause life. But it's background noise for when I am cooking, cleaning getting ready in the morning. I can focus my brain the content I should be focusing on rather than negative self talk or you know the stories we tell ourselves. I'm lucky I work from home most days so I can get several in a day. 🙏

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neither gender has a monopoly on imbalanced expectations.

Yes we have to start accepting this about ourselves and our partners.

You Friend zoned them. That is were all the great guys are. Ladies you want a good man, look at the men you friend zoned.

@@mojitabasidik8593 well said bruh

In kindergarten. Lol

I don't agree with that. I think it's good and healthy for men to express their feelings, (it's honesty), a sign of maturity not a sign of weakness. I think it's sad that some men feel that they are not allowed to be sensitive just because they are a man.

I thought I wanted a sensitive man. And I found one. He took offense to everything I said. I walked on eggshells for much of the relationship. Couldn't talk about or resolve issues. I continually got the silent treatment for days, weeks, months. I had no security. He was constantly telling me to go away and find someone else if he didn't make me happy. Yeah, don't think I want that again.

@@RicardoLopez-ts3sr My ex guy didn't have those reasons.

@@RicardoLopez-ts3sr ppl who have double standards are not healthy. My ex also had double standards. Another reason he is my ex. I'd rather be alone than with someone who isn't healthy. It was very multilayered. I want a healthy relationship or nothing at all. When sensitivity goes over the edge it's no longer healthy. Both ppl should be happy or be able to work things out in that direction. When it doesn't work for us, we have to eventually let go.

@@RicardoLopez-ts3sr you need to do what is best for you. If this relationship is not best for you, it is certainly not best for her. Life is too short not to be happy. Do some research on narcissists. And maybe cluster B personalities. You can find the strength here on you tube. There are many resources here for that! It took me a couple years to get out. Due to being trauma bonded. Now that I'm out, I've determined if I am in a relationship again and I'm crying more than I am laughing, I'm leaving. There are way worse things than being single, my friend. No, you don't sound crazy. You are being gaslighted. You need to get out of the relationship for you and your daughters mental and emotional health. Not sure why you deleted your posts. Hope you are ok.

You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜

So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to leave me a review here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499

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You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜

Amazing, divorce just a few months later

Advice he gave was solid. His wife was just for the streets

Believe them. Watch as well as pray. The person is telling you honestly what they need and most likely needed from the very Start.

Who hurt you?

You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜

It's been all for me. I left and tried to love from a distance. Now it's all about stay Gone...Forgive...and Let God. The Lord is my Shepherd I Shall Not Want.

@@katherlenepatterson5243 good for you

I think I've got the flatline emotions one

You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜

Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

Glad you enjoyed it!

In a bad relationship self worth is decreased

Appreciate you! 🙏

You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜

If both respect honesty. Some folks don’t want the truth

Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

Glad you enjoyed it!