The petina is so thick on this desk you can smell it. And it smells like eastern European meants underage river piute and possibly sandlewood or it might even be potuli. This desk has been certified by the national autobaun society as the only remaining artifact that indeed was made out of the naughty pine from King Edwards Forrest. Hand crafted by the most skilled and least plague infested peasent that was still living after Mt. Vasuvius blew its top. It was then knighted by prince Charles as a gift for lady Diana. However that was a short lived gift as Doc Brown collided with her limo in a tunnel. The desk consequently became attached to the DeLorean which threw the flux capacitor in reverse and in a extremely convient but not at all made up turn of events it ended up on the Santa Maria in route to the yet unamed United States of America. After arriving it got shipped out by accident to Joseph Smith who was buying it to trade to Chief Geronimo for his very underage daughter Pocahontas. After the exchange had been made it's rumored that Joseph Smith poked her Hauntus until he couldn't poke no mo. And that's basically the desks history until my Grandma bought it right before WWII and being that she was a full blooded Japanese immigrant she was carted off to Minidoka labor camp in Idaho. Amazingly the desk did not accompany her to the camp. Being that the desk was technically an America it was drafted into the war and was on the beaches of Normandy where it earned a purple heart, the Iron cross and a Gold Plated pen which was part of a very nice drawer organizer from staples. After returning to the states the desk had issues acclimating to life back at home and was the inspiration for the movie known as Rambo. The desk then ended up in a V.A. Clinic which shut down in 2022 due to the China Virus known as covid-19. The desk being elderly was lucky not to catch the virus and refused to wear a mask because this desk "ain't no fuckin pussy" and that's a direct quote from the desk. I actually caught the desk on my wyze cam in my garage one night trying to steal my aluminum cans. I snuck up on the desk with my pistol in my hand and right when I was about to scare the living day lights out of the old basterd it turned around ejected it's pen drawer, which was weighted down by a gold plated pen and organizer, right into my cock and balls and dropped me like a fuckin brick. It then stuck it's drawer out once again and helped me to my feet. Been helping each other out since then. And now that I'm done with the desks biography and it's set to be released world wide in 21 different languages on a very special day. Which day you may be wondering? Well that depends on you. You see the desk wants to be sold and I'm willing to set it free like Aladdin did with the genie. Because I'm not a selfish prick like that. And so it's all on you.... $365 OBO. Probably would consider even an offer of $200 and the rest in trade. Let me know
1 июл 2024
