The Ancient Romans were Sh*tposters 

Look man, if it was up to me, every single title to every video on RU-vid would have lots of amazing profanity. But they've got arbitrary rules on what I can and can't put there, so enjoy your free asterisk.

I love how bathroom grafitti is the most human way to tie us to our ancestors

Imagine making a joke so good that you made someone laugh 2000 years later

They weren’t shitposting everywhere. They were shitting everywhere.

"If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girfriend" This man doesn't fear to declare that waifus are real and proud to have one for himself. Absolute chad.

Reminds me of this cave art somewhere in Europe, the writings were 20ft up on a wall. When they actually got up there to translate it, all it said was: “This is very high.”

"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity." I think this is my new favorite Roman quote.

These and Japanese/Chinese poems/letters about how weird their pet cats were are the best. I still love the painting of an armoured walking his pet cat.

For some reason this reminded me of how the Yucatan peninsula was named. When the Spaniards arrived at the Yucatan peninsula they asked the natives there what the name of their land was. The natives replied in their language “I don't know what you're saying” and the Spaniards took it as one word and now the name of that place is the "Yucatan peninsula"

I genuinely love this kind of "people were always people" historical minutiae

I love how all of them are about shitting or sex, except the one with two bros just hanging out, which could very well still be about shitting or sex

The funniest thing about that bread quote: That quote outlived the autobiography of a roman emperor.

"I made bread" is the Roman equivalent of meal pics on Facebook.

Imagine the mountain exploding one day and having your deepest desires uncovered like 2000 years later

Human comedy has not changed in the slightest. Some Roman lead sling bullets excavated from battlefields have had messages such as "ouch" "crack your teeth" "catch" and "attack Pompeii's arsehole" engraved onto them

3:23 “are you winning son?” 😂

4:19 Missed opportunity for Gayus and Analus

i love stuff like this because it shows how even though they were alive thousands of years ago, had completely different culture and spoke an entirely different language, they still had a sense of humor

The things in the graffiti they left shows just how little we have actually changed in thousands of years. My personal favorite of the ones I've seen is "Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog"

The fact that Secundus had to clarify three times that it was the spot where he defecated, like an animal marking his own territory, never ceases to make me laugh.

My saddest one but favorite one: “We two dear men, friends forever were here. If you wish to know our names, it is Gaius and Aulus.” - found left of Pompeiian bar door 😢 Hope they’re reincarnated somewhere in modern Rome, still drunkenly writing their names and shitposts on a bar wall somewhere.

I’ve got to wonder if that baking bread one was a Latin euphemism lost to time, or if that guy was just really excited about making his bread

As a history dweeb Im delighted you mentioned Herculaneum with Pompeii. So many folks ignore it despite it being just as important if not at least as well preserved. Edit: I wish I was a baker

The thing that impresses me the most about Roman graffiti is that I feel like it's also a good indicator about how surprisingly literate city-dwelling Romans were. We know there were schools and teachers for the upper class and some of these boys were probably among those crass and bored enough to write these graffiti, but I feel like their omnipresence in these preserved cities makes it much more likely that these were simple commoners who had to learn to read and write in order to get by one way or another.

This is a big win for us. It proves without a doubt that shit jokes, farts, and sex jokes are not inappropriate, it could be the very thing that makes us human. Faith restored

man these guys were wild. Imagine being so proud of your sex life that you just have to write it down on a wall for everyone to see.

Fun fact, one guy is found encased in ash just jackin it. The world was collapsing around him and he decided to get one last one out. Legend.

5:16 first historical account of "fuck around and find out"

"Oh my lusty son, With how many women have you had sexual relations?" I did not have sexual relations with any women

This reminds me of that one inscription in the Hagia Sofia that was in Norse runes and people tried to decipher it and when they did it was a random carving by a Norse hired guard that said “Halfdan carved this”

Never forget Gaius and Aulus, besties for eternity.

i like to imagine that the female gods to the ancient romans were like anime waifus to modern day weebs

Holy shit this is the high/middle school toilets but old and in a fancier language.

If you visit Pompeii, you can both visit the brothel (with Latin graffiti complaining about stds) or buy bookfuls of nsfw graffiti from the Romans

'TODAY I BAKED BREAD" IMPLYING THAT the bread you ate on April 19th was baked with the same hands that wiped his ass on that stool. It's a greatest shitpost

5:32 I audibly awww'ed at that.

I love how these graffitis just show how persistent the Human spirit is, it doesn't matter how many years pass, nor how many cataclysm we suffer, the human will always remain an animal.

Gaius and Aulus’ message was so genuinely sweet to me that I wanted to honor them in a series I’m concepting. Sort of an “ordinary people from two different time periods reaching out” sorta thing

I love how the Romans were like "state sanctioned violence, femboys and shitposting" And Americans just straight up copied the homework.

There was a map found in a home in Pompeii, and above the town where mount vesuvia had been drawn, smoke was added above it. Someone had taken the time during a horrifying event to record it, not knowing if anyone they knew or loved would survive. They were funny, and they were philosophical, and they sought to be remembered after they were gone. They were human.

Is it weird that this is really humanizing and connecting them for me. Like, before they were just mysterious ancient people I never thought about beyond existing at some point... But now I'm realizing yeah they weren't actually that different...

Something I learned today: shitposting is enraised in the human nature, and we cannot change this

3:57 That's gotta be the baddest coming out sentence ever.

Caius and Aulus: The best bromance you never heard of.

The one about sticking it in fire burning you feels like the earliest attested version of “Don’t stick it in crazy.”

It wasn’t social media. It was bathroom graffiti, which hasn’t changed in millennia. It’s “CEL-a-dus” and “Thray-shun.” I’m sure the “I made bread” thing was a euphemism or an inside joke.

A friendship like Gaius and Aulus's is something many of us can only dream of.

6:08 Honestly what floors me here is the fact that apparently the word "potty" existed in the times of ancient Rome

With the restitutus and restituta thing in Roman culture girls would take on the feminine version of their husbands name after marriage and before marriage their names would be the feminine form of their father’s name and they would’ve differentiated from their sister by order of birth such as “prima” being what the first born daughter was called and “secunda” being what the second daughter would be called. Kinda fucked up they didn’t get their own names but this was like 2000 years ago.

Just looking into historic findings of people in the past really cements the "the more things change the more things stay the same" I also recommend a youtuber called toldinstone for roman history more focused on roman's everyday life. My favourite is his videos about imaging how a time traveller will deal with visiting ancient rome.

Nordic runes were once found on the hagia Sofia, everyone expected it to be some amazing. When translate it simply said, "Halfdan was here"

There's actually a whole list of all the recorded graffiti in Pompei and Herculaneum (and elsewhere across in the former Roman Empire) and a lot of it is basically the same stuff. Even an entire menu chiseled on a wall was uncovered in Pomeii after they excavated a thermopolium (an ancient Roman restaurant/buffet line), prices and all.

Fun fact, that "weep you girls" graffito is actually a poem written as an elegiac couplet, so it can be sung like the works of the greatest poets. "Vōs mea dēservit iam verpa dolēte puellae pēdīcat cūlum cunne superbe valē" "-" represents a long syllable and "u" a short one. In this poem, "x" is long (though it can be a short syllable in the place of a long one in some other poems). A ˈ means the syllable is stressed (which in Latin is independent from syllable length, though you can use said length to know where stress will fall). A vowel with a - over it is held for around twice the length. Any syllable ending in a consonant is also held at that consonant for longer. - u u / - - / - - / - u u / - u u / - x - - / - - / - / - u u / - u u / x ˈVōs ˈme a / dē ˈser / vit jam / ˈver pa do / ˈlē te pu / el lae Pē ˈdī / cat ˈcū / lum / ˈcun ne su / ˈper be ˈva / lē

That "On april 19th i made bread" has another significance... Let's just say that writing was on the same wall where Restituta was nominated...

1:15 The greenscreen made it look like his headphones are just kinda floating there. I would like to acquire some of these futuristic floaty phones.

In many medieval manuscripts knights were depicted fighting snails as a sort of parody of traditional stories of the time. It was accentually a meme.

thank you for the history lesson my teachers wouldn't give me because it's "Too unscientific" and "What the fuck is this" and "How did you get in my house" like, just tell me nicely.

You ever wonder why we call money "bread" it's because in ancient times bakers were GETTING. THAT. BREAD.

He left out the most direct "l screwed the barmaid"😅

This is incredibly similar to those random "shitposts" in communal toilets in the Ottoman era, such as: "Bunu yazan Tosun, okuyana gosu,n" meaning "Tosun who wrote this, will beat anyone who reads this" so hilarious even if it doesn't make any sense 😂

This is exactly why I love this channel In a word where all content and media is reposted and recycled, it’s so refreshing to have so many original ideas for videos! And it’s entertaining every single time

4:00 Mans really said "To hell with Pussy... BUSSY'S WHERE IT'S AT!!!!" LET'S FUCKING GOOO!!!

me when a mountain explodes and 2000 years later historians check your search history:

Historical moments like this prove that throughout time, as much as humanity has changed, we've also been that same kind of person for centuries.

aw yeah, was waiting for a video on the best bromance in history GAIUS AND AULUS BROS4LIFE

Always remember that several people in Pompeii, in their final moments decided to get one out and ended up doing it for the rest of time

A. FINALLY SOMEONE IS TALKING BOUT THESE IVE BEEN QUOTING THEM FOR YEARS and B. sadly i think this was during the time of the bread tax which would mean that saying you baked bread, at the time mightve been some form of small protest: when the bread tax was in place (again i dont know the timeframe for that but i do know it did exist and i think it was in rome around the time pompeii was around) the punishment for independently baking bread was being drawn and quartered, which, kinda obviously, always ended with death. in conclusion you could get killed for baking your own bread also also, shoutout to the 2 guys who were fighting over who a girl liked publicly and its like one of the biggest grafittis in pompeii

I'm glad you kept the video quality they had at the high times of Pompei.

As a classics student who recently visited Herculaneum and Pompeii, and someone whose day has been real sh¡tty; this video was honestly a gift from the gods and the perfect way of drying tears, thank you huggbees.

I can't believe you didn't cover my favorite piece of ancient graffiti: _"Lo, my gentile readers, this wall engraving hath been commissioned by Lord Raid, Legend of Shadow. Come hither, using mine reference words "Fecal Wall", to acquire riches and women as your heart desires!"_

Joined from the how it’s actually made videos, and I’m staying for this shit. Keep it up, shits hilarious

This compilation should honestly be well-explored and studied especially in the subject of local history. I'm not kidding. As what Huggbees said, we often look at the macroscopic, the influential, and the greatest when studying history, but it is more interesting to study the small, local, and trivial events when actually learning to appreciate history. Often, it is from these random instances that we get most insight on peoples' lives, like in that graffiti on the author being proud to have made bread.

To be fair, the last one was probably about a turd that was shaped like a loaf of bread

3:23 sounds like the earliest version of the "are ya winning son?" meme.

On April 19, he made bread. ON APRIL 19, THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, AND INDIVIDUAL MADE BREAD. ON THIS VERY DAY, APRIL 19, CENTURIES AGO, A PASTRY WAS MADE. WE SHALL REJOICE THAT ON THIS DAY, APRIL 19, SOMEONE MADE BREAD TO EAT.

3:45 Glad to know horny bdsm is quite alive and well in Ancient Rome 😂🤣

reminds me of some ancient viking writing found waaaay up high in an ancient cave, which once was thought to be religious, actaully saying "this spot is high"

“The one who buggers a fire burns his penis.” I felt that one.

It's nice to know that, although we are worlds apart in terms of technology, ancient humans were pretty much exactly like us.

5:00 a Thracian is also a type of gladiator. I’ve heard of that graffiti in reference to gladiators, and in rome they were seen as basically sex symbols. So it’s more likely he was a gladiator than some dude from the balkans. Especially because thracians were seen as barbarians, so it’s not something you’d generally catch a native bragging about.

If I’m not mistaken, one of the earliest dirty paintings depicts either cleopatra or queen Hatshepsut (I can’t remember which) being taken from behind by men with comically large phalluses because they didn’t like her rule.

Pompeii was more sh*tposty than most, I suspect. Don't ever forget the guy covered in ash after the volcano exploded who was holding onto his junk, in a desperate race against time to rub one out before the poison cloud overwhelmed him (you know he failed because his hand was still there)

I wonder if the people back in those days had something like "My Immortal". Like, did people write steamy and godawful fanfics about roman gods doing it and it was so notoriously bad that it actually got a bit of attention? (maybe even a venus self-insert fanfiction 😁)

Huggbees humble beginnings with How it’s Made evolving into this..? I’m here for it.

I'm quite a history fan, and stuff like this is the absolute best to find out about. It demystifies the past and reminds us we aren't as different to our ancestors as we might think.

LMFAO@04:05 I think more than a few guys have decided to head this direction.... 🤣

This is going into my “insult your worst enemy” playlist

you know you're a geography person when you knew about thracian being from the balkans without this guy telling you

1:51 "Forward this email to seven friends or get ten years of bad luck"

The uncomfortable pause at the end is what pushed it over the line, loved it

I heard somewhere that back then "baking bread" could be a euphemism for taking a dump, pinching a loaf as it were. Taking the Browns to the superbowl, or the coliseum in this case

My favorite part of history is when mount Vesuvius said "It's Vesuviusing time." And Vesuvius'd all over Pompeii

I love how shitposting literally began with people taking a shit and writing about it on a wall.

I love watching Huggbees when my ear infections get too painful. Laughing at his jokes does a good job distracting me from the pain

7:08 Centurion: "Between the dates of April 19th and April 22nd, I teleported bread."

"What was one thing you can name originated from Ancient Rome and changed the world?" "Shitposting"

All I can think of is Ceasar reading a steamy love letter from Cato the Younger's sister during a fucking senate meeting. After Cato, like an elementary school teacher asking a student to read a note they recived in the middle of class, demanding he read aloud no less. One of the funniest (Western) Roman History facts imo.

I love the “On April 19th, I made bread”, it feels like the ancient equivalent of saying “I did something at some point”

If the Roman’s aren’t talking about Qundale Dingle when I get my time traveling device done, then I’m gonna be disappointed I’m back and I see why they fell

Loving the frequency of uploads right now. I rewatch these videos so often, it's so exciting to get something new!