I was told to watch this as my son preps to open his barber shop in my garage. My heart is overflowing with gratitude as everything you spoke of resonated with my heart and soul. Thank you for allowing your barbershop to be a safe place, a refuge, a place of healing, a place of love and no judgement. God Bless you for forgiving your father and choosing to love and understand his pain. God bless you in all your efforts...of making your corner of the world a better place and a safe haven. I love TED talks and this is ABSOLUTELY the best I've listened to by far. Alofa tele Atu!
It's a story thats played out too often within our Polynesian aigas.. one that was also a part of my upbringing and childhood. I still remember it like it happened yesterday, the beatings my mum received at the hands of a man who she loved and trusted and whom was always drunk. A father whom we kids were terrified of.. even when he wasn't drunk. We didn't have much of a relationship with him because he was either playing rugby or drinking with his boys. However, the narrative changed in my story for the better which i am very fortunate. My father changed. The alcohol and smoking instantly stopped, the angry and bitter man was no more and we began to see a side of our father than we began to embrace and love. Only then, were we able to take our masks off.. as well as our mother and years later, all us children married now with kids, still have that relationship with my father and mother whom are still together. Your message is inspirational to many out there whom face the same battles and those who have also lived through it. Thank you Uso for sharing.. for showing humanity especially us men that its ok to reveal ourselves and to take our masks off. You have a beautiful aiga uso.. May our Father in Heaven continue to bless you and your family and keep you all safe!!
I saw Matt speaking the other day at the NTV conference, and he is amazingly positive and an inspirational beacon in the darkness we work in in FV. He kept getting rolled out for panels and keynote speeches, and must have been exhausted by the end of the day, but he never lost that wonderful positivity or sense of humour. He is a role model for all of us.
It is honestly so amazing to see a man so vulnerable but also self-aware - its so bloody rare, its like seeing a unicorn! I think men and even some women think that if you show your real vulnerability you will seem weak, self-pitying and pathetic - and yes you can be too self-pitying and that i dont respect but normal real vulnerability is healthy to show at times amongst the right people. And all that does is make me instantly respect you. This movement is great because it's all about going straight to the source of the problem - that is the only way to break cycles of violence. Someone has to understand and forgive their violent parent or no one will ever move on from the pain.
"Too" much self pitying might have to happen whether you respect it or not, as part of the learning process. It's not really about what u want. Would u do too much self pitying if u were learning the hard way not to try not to go down the rabbit hole but to accept. I think yes. I replied bc I think u r a bit damaging in ur thoughtless phrasing and I hope someone sees my reply. I'm not blaming u it's hard to phrase right (this sentence for example)
No I truly understand why a barbershop is only for men and boys not for women, women have enough places to go to get your hair done. Men deserve to have their own little private place to go to feel safe strong among their own peers where they can open up and not to be embarrassed to have a strong mentor to have their six ♥️🇨🇦🌏
Bless your humility! Bless your courage! Bless your heart! Bless your soul! May every soul heal! We share similiar story of physical and emotional beatings, moving house to house to hide from dad after he turned his violence towards me, he almost killed me. As our lives went on, I decided to look for him. He was on the streets. Ended up looking after my now then homeless Dad, until his death. His life of masking his pain was alcohol. When I forgave him, he healed and became my sons best poppa and tried to help others. He died two years after it. Only then I pursued my love for helping the community which to this day I still do. Malo le loto toa, malo le faamalosi. Ia faamanuia le Atua ia te oe ma lou aiga.
Brother - You bought tears and goosebumps to my being. You should be immensely proud of yourself - You’re breaking the cycle. Many well wishes for years to come. God bless 🙏
The Rock bought me here. This is an incredible talk and I am blown away by your eloquence and bravery. Keep doing what your doing. I’m having my first baby who is a boy and I hope I can teach him to express himself like you can ❤️
What an amazing human being..your barber shed will change lives..this is such an inspirational, heartbreaking, heartwarming, uplifting message and a powerful way to raise awareness for positive changes.
I've watched so many great TED talks over the years, and honestly can't think of one as powerful as this one. Nearly half way through the book at the moment...Thank you so much for sharing🙏🙏🙏
From one Samoan brother to another I relate to you in every way possible and when I get the chance to visit you in New Zealand I would love to pay you a visit. Much love to you uce alofa atu
As an ex-hairdresser, an ex-suicide intervention worker, and a former SEWB mental health worker- this video is gold, it brings it all together and presents what is healing. This message transcends. Massive respect.
Wow. I thought this was powerful already but that ending. It truly reflects the impact this will have on the community and the many men that need to heal.
The tears well up for me, same time here as he gets tearful. When he chooses to se his father through the eyes of love. To make that choice is so relevant. The healing is the love (the conduit so to speak) through this not from hate. Exactly.
Indeed! Angelou, you have the strength, kindness, love, leadership of your mum & dad! Matt, you are simply amazing. If only there were 10 thousand of you, nz mental health needs ppl like you. Thank you, an awesome TedX. My dad was an immigrant to nz. Tho not physically violent, much of what you said I could relate to. Time, Maturity and understanding changes what once was seen as just a 'hard' exterior in a father.
Matt, you are simply amazing. If only there were 10 thousand of you, nz mental health needs ppl like you. Thank you, an awesome TedX. My dad was an immigrant to nz. Tho not physically violent, much of what you said I could relate to. Time, Maturity and understanding changes what once was seen as just a 'hard' exterior in a father.
I came here as Angelou & sister was on the news today reaching out to The 🪨. Your message is like reading my childhood. So relatable but also inspiring, courageous, resilient & so powerful. Respect Uso. God Bless! Alofa Aku!
Matt Brown has just published his book She is Not Your Rehab, it's made number 1 on NZ book list. I've ordered it and can't wait to read it. Well done Matt, congratulations.
Easily by far, Matt receives a standing ovation of my heart and soul becos that's how deep his korero goes, I'm uplifted to know that he is here to help men heal and therefore women and families will also heal by default...you are incredibly blessed Matt...plus a huge mihi for paying tribute to yr amazing darling who instigated the chain reaction of love and hope through you, AROHANUI 🥰🙏🏼💖👍💞🥰
Such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing and voicing the pain we carried throughout our whole lives. Same stories different families. We are no longer suffering in silence but willing to heal and understand mental health is not a joke. Peace, love, and light brother. Well done! ❤
Hi Matt, your Book- She is not your rehab, brought me here brother. From the 1st page I was in tears. I'm suffering from a Intergenerational Trauma I've had with my Mum all my life and before the day I read your book, I was on the verge of Suicide too. You saved me Matt, that day was the feather that broke the camels back for me, had a total breakdown. But your book, It saved me and i wanted say Thankyou bro
Constance Hall sent me and I'm very glad she did! What an admirable mission. It's so refreshing to see masculine energy expressed in this way 🙏 Sending love to you!
Those haka's were the icing on the cake... You made me open my eyes to my own abusive father. I wish he was still with us. God speed with the work that you do brother
You are such a great and humble man Matt. Being the voice for the vulnerable despite your own adversities. What a beautiful heart you have. May God continue to use you mightily :)
broooooooooo i love how u use your barbershop as a vehicle to help people......this is like what me and some other men who also had traumatic and generational trauma are doing aswell, but we use things like hunting, music, cooking, food gathering, home groups and kapahaka as the vehicles.....the best inspirations are indeed the ones that have lived through tests and come out as dedicated men to heal and better themselves, forgive those who harmed them and like you said.....let the pride go and be vunerable......i took this exact journey going on nearly 8-10 years now and it wasnt the most painful wakeup call ever but man the transformation was amazing. thank you bro its encouraging to know more men are stepping up for generations to come.bless you ma brother.
This was absolute MANA! Fa'afetai tele lava Brother Brown for shining your light and having the courage to share your love story with the world. We all need the healing power of love in our lives. May God continue to bless you with all that is needed to sustain your good works.
Everything from the laughter and lighthearted humor in the beginning (and throughout) with impressive artistry to the heartfelt haka, especially in response to the prepared heartfelt haka, and all the healing from raw deep to raw deep, did it for me. I support this movement from my sacred space in SoCal, USA to my people of the Pasifika and the whole human race, around the world. Fa'afetai tele lava and God bless our hearts with Love that heals. Thank you Brene, I mean, Matt Brown :) for caring about your cathedral chair and barbershop as a better than baroque sanctuary, and a true temple. It's shelter is felt from here. With love, Shiph
That was wickedly powerful - thank you so much. To educate, and share your vulnerability, and then conclude with such a powerful haka. Thank you. My heart sings :)
As someone who had this journey of reconciliation to self starting with me and working with brothers whom yo describe, I am inspired by your real straight up. Kia Kaha brother...Your work inspires
Absolutely incredible, the vulnerability you showed everyone took so much courage and strength. I have so much respect for you and this movement. Thank you for showing us your true colours.
Thank you for sharing your truth xx So much respect ro you. We are all enough. We are all good enough. Thank you for aharing the healing to us all. Much love to you, its harder more couraget to be vulnerable than it is to build walls. So happy you released yourself of your fathers pain. Send so much love & healing to you and your whanau. Keep spreading the love brother💚
Tena koe Matt mo tō kōrero mo ngā tane e mamae ana, e kore mohio ana i te aroha. May our God continue to bless you in your mahi kaikuti makawe and being there to listen to those men in a safe environment. You are a inspiration to us all and hopefully other men will follow your lead. Great logo on the t-shirts and haka expressing your's and their journey's. This is God's will to love others unconditionally. Bless you and your whanau. Ma te Atua kōutou e manaaki i ngā wa katoa.
You are amazing! I went hunting for who u are… found this …I haven’t it to my ex partner he needs this, he needs to heal, and today I forgive him! And I hope his children can too. Thank u so much x
