The Body Keeps the Score 

When I read this book, it was profound to learn how trauma is as physical as it is psychological. Worth reading!

Were my arms just long enough, I'd hug you all, until you believed, absolutely, in your individual beauty, worth, and potential.

I get the need for this. My body has grown so tight and rigid that everything is painful. I haven’t had a real hug in a long long time. Don’t even got my cat to hug anymore. Loneliness is a slow-acting but fatal poison.

Can I just say thank you for putting the therapist in a wheelchair. As a therapist, and as a therapist in a wheelchair it is nice to be seen represented. Even more so in this video since this has been such an amazing book in my own healing.

This made me tear up. I see myself, sitting straight, slumped over into myself - never being able to fully relax around others, always making myself small, scared of trying new or big things, scared of drawing attention to myself, wearing gray and black to not be noticed, because I fear being seen because it brings on judging eyes and my fear of criticism. That woke a lot in me.

Wow, this makes a lot of sense. I got used to repressing my emotions as a child thinking if I were obedient and meek, I would be wanted by my parents. I grew up to be a very uptight adult and that definitely manifested physically. Recently started yoga as a self-compassion movement exercise and my relationship with myself has greatly improved. Can't wait to read this book!

As someone with Cptsd who moves from super alert to detached from their body this sounds amazing. I realize that my recent motivations to learn skating, self-defense and make something with my hands may be driven by a desire to reinhabit my body and break free from mental cage.

I think this is so amazing because it means for those of us who struggle to get to the root of our problems mentally, we can actually release those issues physically instead.

Am I the only one in love with the therapist on a wheel chair? Well done!!! 💙

It makes sense why I’ve become addicted to running. I feel more powerful than ever!

I once was under therapy, a long time ago, as I was awakening to the fact that maybe, just maybe, the problem wasn't me but my family and my childhood environment, and wanted to work my way through that. The first comments and questions I got from my humanistic (Gestalt) therapist were about my posture, body language and breathing. She knew nothing about me yet through words but she seemed to already see my past and present pain, and she was already gently pushing me to learn to breathe, before we even got down to talking. She knew things about me just from looking at my body. I later did a short course of drama therapy (where we use our bodies to communicate). I got to catch a glimpse of myself from without, and I could see in the appearance of my body what experiences I had been through, and all the meaning in my deeply rooted manners. I used to (and still do) put my hand in front of my mouth when talking about what happened to me. Turns out I was trying to silence myself, because when those things were happening, no one wanted to hear what I had to say. I was never taught to put my hand in front of my mouth-it was my body trying to say what was hidden in my mind, that I was afraid to talk. So when someone in my drama therapy group asked if she could touch me, and upon me saying yes gently moved my hand away from my mouth, that was everything. Drama therapy can also be helpful in using the body to heal. Read. This. Book.

I've always been in fear and shame of showing my sensitive and emotional side. I fear that if they see it, they'll think less of me. So I isolated myself from others, running away, shutting the doors to finally be abled to express my feelings without being judged. I finally managed to trust someone for the first time and truely emerged into their embrace. I fought back at my intuition of telling them to leave me alone, knowing that pushing myself out of the comfort zone is the only way for me to learn and connect with the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And it worked, my vulnerability has connected and made our relationship into something much deeper than mere coupling. Even If we couldn't be together forever, but now I know that I can be vulnerable and I can trust others and I'm not alone

Im reading this book as recommended by my therapist. Thanks

This book conviced me to go on to therapy and completed my Emdr treatment! Not to mention got me into yoga and established a new relationship with myself. Indeed. A very transformative one!

I think what he did was genius. It’s like reverse therapy. He’s helping the body act more confident so the mind eventually feels it too. Using the cognitive dissonance arising from acting in a confident manner(while your mind isn’t confident) to fix your unconfindent mind as opposed to fixing your unconfident mind so that your body acts more confident

I just finished this book. As someone that is in love with a person working through a lot of childhood trauma, this book has been extremely helpful with understanding.

Taking ecstasy in the late 90's while sitting between the legs of my first love on a chill-out couch in the club, with her arms wrapped around me, remains to this day as some of the most pleasant memories of my life.

I feel the sudden need to be a little more compassionate toward those i automatically pigeon hole as lazy, unmotivated and lacking enthusiasm for life. Maybe slightly broken is a better term than lazy.

Not going to lie, just the idea of a long hug made my skin crawl

The whole description of not being held or loved enough as a child hit me so hard and reminded me of all the work I did in my own therapy sessions. You really do need so much love. And if the people bringing you up don't know how to provide it, you will grow into an empty soul, occupying a hollow body. Any kind of touch will incite fear or discomfort - I hated hugs as a child, because I never really got them. The years of work it took (and is still taking!) to feel comfortable and confident in my own body is astonishing. But in the end, you finally get to feel like your own person, as if you've woken up from a 20 year long sleep and you can finally begin to function without panicking.

This video itself felt like a hug. Amazing.

This is exactly why I started skateboarding. I was sad, I got very low self esteem and a hell of pent up anger. I knew I need some type of physical outlet. Two years later I'm a completely different person, I got my confidence back plus A LOT of friends, and I feel way more relaxed in public spaces now. Skateboarding really do save lives.

Being a stay at home mom, o can't affair to pay for classes/activities, massages that often. One thing that has helped my body be more confident with touch has been volunteering at my children's elementary school! Being around children under the age when I was abused, and seeing their innocence, their love, having them play with my hair, smell my clothes and give me unconditional compliments has been extremely healing! Not to even mention being around emotionally safe adults! If you get opportunity to volunteer in your community do it! I stared doing it because I was isolating and my doctor suggested to go to the gym, I said no way I'm exposing myself to adults 🤭 so I went to children! I'm so proud of my accomplishments while volunteering both in the community and in my personal emotional life ❤ go for it! You are more than capable! One step at a time! I'm still not ready to go to the gym, but I'm went back to the dentist and obgyn after 5 years 😢 just 9 months of being around God's littlest angels and my inner child happiness is coming little by little ❤️

The more I learn from your channel the more I realize why I've been avoiding dating and making friends for over a decade, I am not emotionally stunted in the slightest but was raised by some, and no longer am able to let people into my world to attempt healing it from all the damage I've received through naive blind trust. But hey in the absence I've learned to communicate with wild rabbits and they visit me and we all stand around with equal space between one another.

This video helped me to understand why I'm so sensitive to touch and almost repulsed by it, and how I'm characterized as being flinchy or jumpy. My husband has noticed it and has made comments about it having to do with my childhood and never realized it really made an impact until now. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful video that helped to clarify why I am the way I am regarding living in my own skin. I have definitely become more settled but this will help me strive to be even better. Now I see why I love my new hobby of snow skiing so much! It allows me to feel free and like a kid again.

this video is a sign from the universe that i need to finally pick up this book.

Wow this is me. People say I seem so calm but I'm actually just frozen...

This book was so good. And also very difficult to get through, emotionally speaking. I recommend taking breaks if you feel overwhelmed and coming back when you feel ready.

I have cptsd. This book was transformative for me.

This book helped me so much. Even if you don't have trauma, I would still recommend it. It helped me understand trauma. It helped me validate my own traumatic childhood experiences. There are treatments and solutions out there, and there is hope. This book is a deep dive into how trauma affects our minds, bodies, relationships, jobs, and even society. Overall a very interesting and enlightening book, I could not recommend it more.

Interesting. Explains a lot. I didn't know why I liked a martial art so much. It gave me the sense of control over my body, making me more comfortable in it. I spent much of quarantine bettering mind-body control and proper breathing - the latter being the most game changing as I finally learned what people meant when they said they feel anxiety in their chest. I learned that I never felt that because I was always using my chest for breathing, so when I switched to diaphragmatic breathing, my chest almost felt sore and I had never felt so relaxed in my life. It also explains why I like to be in the buff and just hang out (heh) in my room. It gives me the feeling of just being able to exist for once. Like validating my existence. Crazy, I hadn't realized just how uncomfortable in my body I have been living. Most of my life, relaxing (even by myself) has felt like an endless struggle, something I always had to try to do because it couldn't come naturally. I feel like it's changing, but I've got a ways to go.

"There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy" - Friedrich Nietzsche.

Sending out empathetic vibrations to all sentient life throughout all of existence & a giant hug full of love. May we all someday break the chains that bind us to the pain that binds us to suffering. Best wishes to you all ❤⚖🧠

I have read it . Very insightful in understanding manifestations of child sexual abuse(CSA) in adult survivors. I wish more therapists were specially trained in this area. I find that resources are scarce.

OmG the sports & physical activity thing is so true for me! I don’t feel like going for walks or running & I have a parent that always yelled at me & scared me at times. I became quieter & avoided confrontations .

My therapist was trained by the psychiatrist who wrote this book 🥺 my therapy has been working SO WELL as someone with chronic ptsd

This book transformed my relationship with medication, also with forgiving myself for the effects trauma leaves behind. It's also a book I've asked my loved ones to read so that they understand where I'm coming from. Gem of a book.

The idea of even a massage gives me goosebumps.

I’ve recently started surfing and it’s helped me with this. I feel much more comfortable in my body, and able to assert my existence. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to hide for some reason

Even if you aren't in psychology or traumatized this book is absolutely worth a read, its tremendously accessible and Van der kolk's compassion is wonderful. 💙 I have to take breaks when reading it tho when it hits close to home.

This is true. Whenever I feel emotional pain, my immune system takes a blow and I get sick

This book and Complex CPTSD from Pete Walker is the beginning of the journey on how do I heal a confusing problem why I have nausea, sweaty palm, short breath, increased heart rate, and bladder when I wanted to talk to an attractive woman.

I almost cried, had to hold back tears because I’m on break at work. But this was beautiful thank you.

For me i was 120kg (263lbs) and was like this, started mma and it really helped, gave me a goal, lost 50kg now at 68kg and in constant fighting shape

This book changed my life. Be warned however, it can be very triggering!

I cried watching and listening to this. I would like to thank this channel and everyone else behind it for all the good things you put out in the world - for us to learn, and understand. This is exactly me...and I have always been confused as to why I could not present myself well, why I could not maintain a good posture even if I wanted to. I've always had a gut feeling that it has something to do with my traumatic experiences. Thank you. This is very enlightening and it makes me understand myself more. I will find the help that I need, and when I have the resources to do so, I will buy Bessel's book. Thanks a lot to Bessel too!

This was an excellent video. It makes me want to buy that book. I can see so much of what has happened to me in this short six-minute video. My daughter-in-law is getting a masters in Psychology and graduating in August I'm going to get her this book as a graduation gift.

Love that school of life seems to be honing in on trauma. This is vital!!

The part about the stiff posture from someone who dealt with an angry parent or partner made me tear up. My sisters always pointed out how straight I stand and sit. But really I am very uptight and uneasy around people. I try to accommodate everybody and make sure they're okay. I don't like people being angry so it's like I just try to hold everything in place so I'm not a problem in any type of way. They wonder how I'm so fit. Really at night time, I'm so uneasy and on guard, I tighten all my muscles. My body is very alert and prepared for the unexpected, sadly. I'm never relaxed. Never really felt safe enough to just.... be... and feel like it's okay to just be.

This beautiful human being and his marvelous work confirmed that I am not just ‘crazy’. It is because of people like him I have hope in humans and healing.

for quite some time i've been feeling this numbness in my heart and my body. It's kind of eerie. Makes me feel like i am not alive anymore. Just existing.

I don’t even know what human touch and connection feels like anymore

Listened to this book during the first lockdown while going out for my daily walk (a new thing for me). It changed how I saw myself and the world around me. Fantastic. And great summary here. Only thing I would add is that sometimes people can have had good care in early years but have suffered trauma later on and that still cause issues.

My brother was in a toxic relationship and was so much gaslighted and manipulated by his partner with guilt that couldn't trust what was true or not and what decision was right. He couldn't perform sexually and started believing he had a problem. When he asked me what to do I said listen to your body, your body always knows and always tells the truth and that somehow awakened him.

Interesting. My mother in-law, is very still and quiet. She does what she feels is important, like cooking a meal, or laundry... then she can just sit and be in silence for hours. Now, I'm wondering if she was abused or has experienced some sort of abuse as a child.

Oh my... I am reading that book right now, half way through. It is a MASTERPIECE! Absolutely recommended!!

As an infant I came down with rhuematoid arthritis because because I was not touched and held. Fast forward to 29 yrs old...another autoimmune disease from stress: intercystial cystitis. Anxiety and depression all of my life. 1 year of no contact...feeling much stronger and better!

I love swinging. Always have. Sometimes I go to a playground no one is at and swing. My nieces like me to swing with them, which is so much fun. I think adults stop doing fun things and that is also part of the problem. I feel most things in my gut and only stopped have stomach issues when I stopped talking to my abusive mother. It completely cleared up my IBS. I believe so many people’s physical ailments are a result of trauma. The body most definitely keeps the score.

Thanks.This does remind me of the Emotional Armoring theory by Wilhelm Reich, the famous Austrian psychoanalyst. That is basically the physical component of repression which occurs when an impulse is halted at the muscular level. Reich viewed the purpose of this armoring as protecting the child from perceived threats, but the cost is the diminished freedom that comes fighting against constant muscular contraction as well the energy that is required to maintain this state of contraction. You may be able to fight and win battles in a suit of armor, but when you're wearing one all of the time without knowing it, it becomes impossible to dance.

I am both painfully detached from my body and hyper aware of it depending on the moment. I never know what’s happening to me, i have an impossible time reading my bodies own signals. I was neglected and emotionally abused, as well as abandoned, by both of my parents. My childhood was not happy. I don’t remember many happy moments at all, and definitely none with my parents being the cause. I remember a lot of loneliness, which has pervaded my adulthood even though I am not alone anymore - I cannot stand to be by myself for very long as it hurts so bad to be with just me. There’s not distractions then. I have to face my mind, my body, my trauma. I wish my psychiatrists would have told me about this idea, that the body truly does keep the score. I sit with my shoulders stiff and hunched forward, tense in every part of my body. I only stop doing that when i actually notice its happening, when it physically hurts me because im so tense. I am sad i didnt get a childhood. That i have to resort to some adult jungle gym in order to feel the physical parts of love i was missing as a kid, and teenager, and adult. I dont want a giant jungle gym to hold me. I want my mom to.

As a training psychotherapist, this book was absolutely a must for me, and opened my eyes to so much more outside of the traditional training of doing a degree.

"In their bodies they will have learnt to be very still almost frozen because a part of them associates the expression of anything exuberant or powerful with the risk of bringing about retaliation from others." What an eloquent yet simple way to say, to let your children sing, laugh, and play to their hearts' content, for heaven's sakes, they are only young once!!! There's a song called, "I Hope You Dance". It's a lovely song that always lifts me up when I hear it. Inside myself, I've always had this secret desire to express myself in front of others, or even to dance in public (something I've never done, though I've been to countless social events). It is crippling, this feeling that I should not, and cannot move, as I would like to, I am uncomfortable in my own skin, even as a grown woman. To this day, I have tried, and in the process embarrassed myself many times, I struggle terribly with sharing my truth with others. I suspect it is due to this idea that was placed in me as a small child, that I should not be here, that there is no place for me in this world, as there is for others. Every child born into this world deserves to have the freedom to play and express themselves openly with laughing, singing, dancing, and whatever else they enjoy while they can do so as a young person!!! If ever there were a cause to support, this would be it... (I have not yet read the book, but since it was recommended to me recently, I intend to. Thank you so much for this very helpful video.)

If you’re somebody with untreated/unprocessed trauma, I don’t recommend reading this book until you have. I don’t believe it’s a book that’s written to specifically help ones trauma, it has quite detailed stories of other people’s trauma, which can be very triggering especially if you’re trying to understand your own. Though I own this book and look forward to reading it one day, the first few pages sent me in a down a spiral. It is more so informative about trauma and I believe it’s written more so for helping people to understand trauma. It is not a self help book, just in case anyone- like me, had the wrong idea of this book.

There are these invisible emotional bonds that get stuck in your body that freeze you at that point of time meaning you can't full become who you're supposed to be and move on into adult hood like other people. I'm writing this as someone who has just made it through an extremely difficult and terrifying self transformation process after a therapist punctured my reality back to my 10 year old inner child triggering a volcanic eruption of childhood trauma like you wouldn't believe. It was like a horror movie from behind my eyes. I'm 35 year's old and finally know who I am. For anyone going through difficultly or feeling like it will never end, please just keep going. On the other side of the pain is a world like you wouldn't believe 😁😉🥳❤️

4:00 spoke to me directly 🥺🥺🥺 I’ve never liked touch. It’s always made me uncomfortable. I never knew why 😞 WOW, breakthroughs.

The book Complex PTSD by Pete Walker is a great companion to The Body Keeps The Score. Those two books 📚 opened the floodgates, so to speak, in my healing process. Followed by a month with an RTT therapist.

This video is so important. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. The world needs this. I needed this years ago when I felt like a crazy person going against everything people and doctors around me said. Love to all

This clinic you speak of sounds splendid. I was recently considering how wonderful having a place for asmr type gentle touching or holding or simply hugging. Having someone to brush your hair, especially when you don’t have someone to touch or hold you, or simply not having enough of it. That is a place I would pay to go to. 😊

This might seem odd, or concerning to some people, but when I had this problem of body stiffness and feeling restrained inside my own body, what helped me through it was actually alcohol. (I am not an alcoholic, just the normal university phase everyone goes trough). When I got to university I had my first drinking experiences with friends, and since alcohol makes people looser, I would sing, dance (which I had never done), be more interactive both vocally and physically with friends, and slowly my "problems" and inhibitions started fading away and the way I behaved when drunk, more touchy, more conversational, looser in general, started slowly becoming a normality in my sober life. Right now I am much more healed in that aspect. I am not by any means saying that you should drink or that is the solution, but strangely and unexpectedly, it was something that had a good effect on me, thought it would be interesting to share.

I can't even explain just how exact I came to this realization later last year. The suggestions to do to help fix the traumas etc, I'm actually doing a few of those already, along with putting my focus on positive learning and understanding things that I rather before would have been afraid to learn even though they were things I needed to live a life healthy and fulfilled.

Her voice is so angelic and soothing 😍🥺

My two favourite books in one video - The Body Keeps the Score AND The School of Life. Perfection.

My body shows more symptoms of trauma than my mind ,it always confused people around me ,it's usually bodily chain reaction that I can not stop once it starts ,it comes in waves abruptly caused by any little trigger even lack of sleep ,I am deeply traumatized by some things that happened to me and now I know and understand what my body is going through for almost 15 years.....dancing and walking very fast helps a lot

Her voice though… simply beautiful

Guess this is the sign to finally pick this book up that’s sitting on my desk for a couple weeks 😓

This was so relatable. And I realise it’s indicative of how emotionally unwell I am.

I NEED SUBTITLES PLEASE!!! I'M LEARNING ENGLISH AND THIS INFORMATION IS SO IMPORTANT!!

Pure gold! We need to listen to our bodies. Thank you 💓

Thanks for using an angry parent and what treatment one needs as an example. I’ve had the feeling for a long time that I need karate or wrestling or boxing to release my own anger.

Thank you the School of Life for introducing me to this wonderful book and insight! It opened up a lot of doors!

I cried watching this video! It's hard and I find no words to describe my sense (or lack of) in body.

I feel called out

the narrators voice is so soothing!!!

If anyone is struggling with ptsd or chronic pain, I highly recommend EMDR therapy which is mentioned in this book. It's been an absolute game changer for me

When I read this book, it was profound to learn how trauma is as physical as it is psychological. Worth reading!

I bought this book in New York three years ago, I'm a psychologist and I found it's perspective very useful. It was a little difficult for me to understand some things because I'm not an English native, but it was worth the effort.

Thank you for making this video. I've had multiple therapists act like there's something wrong with me when I describe feeling like I need exactly what you described about the therapy center. If you read enough of the right people these answers become obvious. Makes me wonder what therapists are being taught and shake my head at all the damage done by others well intentioned people who've been told these are "non-compliant" patients. What they're doing is teaching the lower brain that it's safe to come out. The physically, evolutionarily lower part of the brain. Seligman's learned helplessness studies taught us what needed to be done years ago and yet I've been trying different therapists for years and they act like this approach is not valid. Well I work as an aide in a clinic with pediatric occupational therapy and see it done every day with great results, and I've coached many patients and given them a physical outlet while calling out their excuses (calmly, respectfully) and seen great results in their overall happiness. Now that I have this video I can show therapists this and try to get the help I need. Among many others that regular therapy has not helped. Sorry that's a disjointed content but I'm at work. Just too glad to see this.

I wonder how this idea of "fearing the bodies' vitality" also play a factor in some of the activities that were considered appropriate for women like running or playing drums.

tl;dr The book is way more informative than this video and it was very helpful for getting over my PTSD. I'm glad they're sharing the book with a wider audience, but the video doesn't scratch the surface of what the book discusses: e.g. yoga helps traumatized people get back a sense of their body, and the author and his colleagues helped get the scientific community away from psychiatric drugs and more towards a holistic diagnosis of PTSD, are just two major things not mentioned here. The book is long. It's dense. But you will learn a lot, especially about the causes, experiences and treatments of trauma. I read the book and it helped me a lot with getting over my PTSD. So, choose wisely if you're curious about reading it :)

I don't like being touched because my parents never hugged me as much as they hugged my twin,I am always supposed to act like the tough one,the mature one.Nobody is allowed in my physical space and most of them can feel the aversion.

One of the best books I have ever read. Changed my life in a very transformational way.

MY THERAPIST RECOMMENDED THIS BOOK, I ALMOST CRIED. THANSK FOR THIS VIDEO

Wow this is why I'm so drawn to weightlifting and body building now it makes sense

I absolutely loved this book....must read for anyone who has had trauma

I'm in my 60's, and I cried when I watched this....

I’m very moved by this video and by the work of this author... An incredibly generous act of kindness towards humanity. Giving a warm hug to all those who might be in need for one right now.... 🤗

It’s my favorite book I have been suggesting people to read for years!! Thank you for sharing it and explaining how important it is.

How we love in our life and relationships is deeply influenced from the experience we received and observed with our parents. Be a loving one.

"Someone we love purposes to hold us" If you're alone then your shit out of luck like me, I fantasize that Im hugged this way on a daily basis. 😞

I keep going back to this book. Highly amazing to understand trauma.