The boys' boating nightmare gets a graphic live action re-enactment.
"I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining" S16
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TITLE: The following program contains graphic reenactments
that may be disturbing to some audience members.
Viewer Discretion is advised.
ANNOUNCER
The following program contains
graphic reenactments that may be
disturbing to some audience members.
(Begin Live Action Sequence)
EXT. MARINA - LIVE ACTION - DAY
DRAMATIC music over whipping shots of the marina.
NARRATOR
Four young boys in Colorado are on a
trip from hell.
FOUR SHOTS of each boy screaming.
BOYS
AHGHGH!
Shot of the boat leaving the marina.
NARRATOR
Trapped on 42 foot powerboat, which
is only allowed to go 5 miles and
hour.
The Boys on the boat.
KYLE
Because we keep getting screwed over
by YOUR diarrhea.
CARTMAN
It's not my diarrhea's fault that
YOU took us all ziplining, you
fucking Jew!
KYLE
Ziplining was YOUR idea, fat ass.
NARRATOR
The fourth graders are in a
nightmare they cannot escape.
CARTMAN
Kenny! Whose idea was it to go
ziplining, mine or Kyle's?
KENNY
I don't know, dude. I really don't
give a shit.
NARRATOR
For four elementary school boys, an
already tragic day becomes a descent
into madness on... "I should have
Never Got on a God Damn Boat".
TITLE: "I should have Never Got on a God Damn Boat"
Shot of Cartman yelling.
KYLE
AHHHH!
Shot of Cartman with his ass over the side.
CARTMAN
AHGHGH!
Shot of Stan pointing and yelling.
STAN
AHGHGH!
Shot - The boys in the boat. Cartman holds his stomach.
KYLE
Oh no! You're not stinking up the
entire boat! You're taking a crap
off the side into the water!
TITLE: The events in this film took place over 4 hours in
the Colorado Rockies.
SHOT - Cartman having explosive diarrhea over the side of
the boat.
Kyle throws up over the side.
Kenny points in the water.
KENNY
BEAVERS!!
A shot of a beaver.
TITLE: This is a true story
SHOT - The boys sitting in the back of the boat, looking
somewhat bored.
NARRATOR
After cleaning Cartman's diarrhea
and fighting off Beavers, the boys
have made the terrifying discovery
that boating is just as boring as
ziplining.
INTERVIEW - STAN
STAN
The boat went really slow and it
just went around and around...
BACK TO THE SCENE-
CARTMAN
Ahghghggh!!! AHGHGGHHG!!!
NARRATOR
If the boys fall asleep now from the
lack of excitement, they could die.
Kyle grabs Cartman's mountain dew.
KYLE
Here, everyone drink some Mountain
Dew.
INTERVIEW - KYLE
KYLE
I don't know, I just thought if we
all drank the Mountain Dew, that
caffeine and sugar would help us
stay awake. I told Cartman he had
to share it.
BACK TO SCENE
CARTMAN
I'm not sharing it with Kenny! He
has herpes!
KENNY
Dude, fuck you Cartman.
9 сен 2024
