One point you make that resonates with me is that often the narcissist does not reveal this anger when around people who are less connected to them than their family. So these friends never see the vengeful, angry, hateful actions or hear the vitriolic words that are difficult to forgive. It is baffling to these friends when estrangements happen because the narcissist paints a picture where they are victim and the target of their rage is the perpetrator. So many have said to us, "But she's your MOM! She's just an elderly, kind little lady! How can you not see her! It's breaking her heart!" Plus, we've kept her true character a secret to these same people all our lives because it is such a painful truth. But now that she's unable to control her rage at all, we just have to walk away. It is truly crazy-making and baffling to well-meaning friends By the way, she has told us she wants nothing more to do with us, but tells others that we have rejected her and she is devastated. Thanks Darren. Excellent topic, as always.
I live this nearly everyday and especially on sundays with my daughters narc mom, she can literally turn our home into a house of horrors at the drop of a dime. It's exhausting because you never really know where its gonna come from and then boom it just happens and now no one can pleasantly enjoy their day, everyone has to feel as shitty as the narc, children too. She says that our daughter and i always seperate from her which is completely false, we actually yearn for a connection with her but its hard when this person doesn't actually want to be connected with. She wants to be praised and put on this pedestal and that i just can no longer do. Crazy how these people want you to endlessly pour in to them while they just take take take.
This is why one should never attempt to remove the mask of a narcissist. The narcissist lives in a false reality which is created and based up their own lies. What one sees in public is very different from that when the narcissist is within their home / family environment.... One must always remember that as the EGO gets higher and higher over time, subconsciously the narcissist's ability to tolerate shame becomes lower and lower. As a result everything that the narcissist hears is filtered by their huge egos and their extremely low ability to tolerate shame.... Malignant narcissists take this to another level, as their narcissism borderlines that of psychopathy. Malignant narcissism occurs when a an extreme narcissist has be mental / emotionally abuse by people such as a sociopath. This then causes the brain to go into overdrive and boosts the ego into what Freud referred to as the superego. In other words, what you end up getting is a "super narcissist." At this level, the malignant narcissist cannot be even reasoned with which is Erich Fromm in 1964 referred the malignant narcissist as the quintessence of evil.....
Narcissistic rage. I have experienced such. Never again. While it was childhood, it was enough to motivate me the more to get out of there as soon as I was old enough and did.
I wondered about this. My mother is a narcissist. And I was the scapegoat. My younger sister was the golden child, my younger brother the invisible one. Five or six years ago, all through text, I'd set a small boundary, to stop texting me Bible quotes. It seemd sanctimonious from her at best. She blew up, told me I was being downright unfriendly and said she'd stop talking to me. I actually heard a single note from a Holy Choir right then. We haven't communicated or seen each other since. Of course she tells the family that _I'm_ the one deficient in communicating. And I know the next time she sees me it's going to be a clash. It may not be the way to handle it, but I'm going to stand my ground. I will not allow her to bait me. And everyone still has that, "But she's your mom!" argument. But those of us who've been made strangers to our own childhood, who've been entirely alone in a house full of people all treating you with the same sneering contempt, we know that bad people have kids, too.
The total tonnage of battles that raged behind closed doors, i grew up in the early 60s with 7 others who dont know one another due to moms conquer and divide tactics, then isolate and manipulate, a real first class twisted individual, some fell prey to her some did not, when your 5 years old and know your mother? Is insane but fight back, your punishment is harder, and on the constant. my father was not really there to protect his children, only ward her off focus only to take battle to him, and that's where the quarrels are joined 2 street fighters going for the one upper, screaming at the tops looking past and through one another, and not hearing a dam thing, this went in until his death, he never had the balls to just leave, i told him so too. The part about growing up in a house full of people and all alone is the same here, an empty space that borderliners' parents create in their children its there, still there, even in personal relationships, feel alone. That's partly from growing up with a household of people made to not connect with each other like some form of re-education camp in a post or present war because a war is what it was. i have contact with my only two of my sisters there safe to talk to, the brothers i have moved away from totaly , ill carry them as MIA.
I have stopped talking to my mom dozens of times, according to her. She would pick a fight at one of our weekly family dinners. Then I "stopped talking to her." Usually I found out that I wasn't talking to her at our next weekly dinner. I would get a huge hug and "I feel like I've got my daughter back!" I wasn't aware I'd been taken away. After my dad died (he abused her and everybody else, she abused everybody else) she got extremely weird and manipulative. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't take money I desperately needed. Possibly because every time I tried to accept the offer, she would yank it back and make it contingent on letting her yell at me "because things have changed" or whatever excuse she could give. No, because the last time I agreed to "talk," I hung up after ten minutes of screaming. I cut contact back and back and back until it was heavily fire-walled texts, and not many of them. At this point, I just delete the text. My poor brother was the scapegoat, and he’s so conflict averse when it comes to the family he's darned near allergic. Before I cut her off completely, we talked briefly about refusing to see my mother or talk by phone. He made what for him was a massively valiant try at peace-making. In reference to something my mother and I were arranging. "She needs to use the phone because it's hard to arrange things by text." "I started this conversation by email. We're not texting about it." On to other matters. It would be interesting to know what it feels like now that I really _have_ stopped talking to her.
4:29 Thanks a million, Darren! When a N in my life ‘discarded me’ I ALMOST fell for the bait! I almost reached out to them to apologize for calling them out about a lie they told. Instead of having a civilized conversation they claimed to be the victim and then shamed me to others. Instead of crying I held my head up high and refused to accept the blame. Great information today! Thank you, Darren! 😊
Yikes! No wonder I spent two decades wanting to avoid my mother. No wonder I felt so much better when I made the choice to stop even minor contact. Thank you for validating that choice.
Mine took any love and understanding as weakness to exploit. The most foolish thing I did was thinking that loving and being understanding towards them could convince them to change. I had to leave them alone to feel their own emotions and they responded by finding another victim to use and blame. I got free though and that was the best thing I ever did for myself.
You know how people say, "I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole"? I can't love her, but I know her history and I do understand. I do it from an hour's drive away, no contact.
Exactly!!! Can’t tell you how many times I heard that from my own mother when I was an adolescent. One of the most confusing things my mother ever asked (while beating me) was “Why do you make me do this to you?” I responded, “That’s a great question mother, and one of these days, after I get some much needed therapy -I’m going to come back here and let you know what the experts have to say.” I left at 18, got into therapy for several years and was able to redevelop my own sense of self worth.
SO SICK OF THAT as an excuse for her behavior. Idc. You don’t get to be a pos because ‘you’re his mother’. That makes her behavior even more egregious. So disgusting.
This video is spot on. I was with the ex for 7yrs. I didn’t have a clue what Narcissism truly was, up until nearly the end of the relationship. Bc of his past as an addict every single time I confronted him on his behaviours he would excuse it saying “ I never emotionally matured like you” I need to catch up. I gave him chance after chance he never deserved. I walked away went no contact And blocked him last year. It was soul destroying as I loved who he pretended to be. That person never existed. A harsh but essential lesson to learn. When someone shows you who they truly are Believe them!
If I could rephrase that in my own way, they want to feel in control, but their anger controls them, so they must blame someone else for their anger. Their goal is to intimidate their victim into taking the responsibility. “I would be perfectly happy if it weren’t for you” (they think). Yeah, right.
My boyfriend and I loved a beautiful life together for 2-1/2 years when his narcissistic daughter came for the weekend. Her loud offensive mouth had me scrambling to stay somewhere else (I’m a midnight shift worker ). He became so angry with me for possibly hurting her feelings by ‘disappearing’, he said a lot of things he can’t take back. I couldn’t see myself spending the rest of my life on eggshells with someone who would downplay such gross behavior so I left. Im starting over and will pay much more attention to who people associate with because that can be just as bad.
Your closing comments described growing up with my mother perfectly. Except for the aspect of alcohol abuse, she did the same thing to us that was done to her by her alcoholic father. The more that I listen, the stronger my barrier becomes to protect myself from continued abuse.
Probably no relevance to the video topic but I have a coworker who has a bad thing to say about everyone in the office and of course he says they are all idiots and don't know anything and he knows the job inside out. Runs them down to me then smiles to them and acts all nice and even asks one of them "you getting the bus home later?". I'm like yeah you sat and bad mouthed them for months yet wanna be all friends on the bus home etc? total snake. I learnt many years ago, if they are talking about everybody to you then they are talking about you to everyone.
Any slight real or imagined will be obsessed over until it festers, the narcissist will become obsessed with revenge and lash out smearing you for the rest of their life. The have nothing outside of their imagined grievances, they milk that sob story to manipulate and con their next victim
My mother-in-law withheld the information that the hospital had called the family together before my grandmother died. My mother-in-law withheld information that the hospital had called the family to come before she died. I made it to the hospital just in time to hear her death rattle. But, they, that family, is considered to be the most righteous people you could ever imagine. Small towns =small minds. In every possible way, and they would accept nothing less.
Same. Never seen anything like it. Survived 38 years on this planet and never came across anyone like this. And then somehow married one. God hates me.... 😂
Pqassive Aggression is a common trait in the Pacific Northwest of the USA. So much so, people walk around making PA comments in the workplace. If one calls them out and reports it, it is seen as "Just the Way Things Are here," It is a sickness on a mass scale
I'm in New York. (Or actually, in Chiang Mai, now.) But this is why I will only work remotely from now on. I worked in an environment so toxic that it made me sick. Working as a technical writer for a research foundation, but embedded/stationed inside NYS government, in Albany, NY. Let me give you an idea of the culture there: I was on the job just 24 hours when the guy who hired me, and who was to have been my supervisor, was arrested -- for sexually assaulting a member of the small, five-person team I had just been hired onto, in a hotel room. (The first three days of my employment started with a road trip to Syracuse with these people...ALL of whom displayed questionable behavior...) Turned out, all of this was just par for the course, and was generally indicative of the calibre of people working there. A year later, someone was hired to replace the arrested man. This new guy, then, became my supervisor and, even though my work was entirely unique, entirely separate from the rest of the contractors embedded there, and was uniquely difficult...the new supervisor moved in and, recognizing the importance of my project, immediately began isolating and marginalizing me, and day in, day out, he made sure that my name appeared nowhere in connection with my work, while his own name was all over it.
Sir, candidly speaking, I have seen such in both of my parents. I recall receiving the cold mother response while embracing my mother one time and a snide and cutting remark as left. As I reflected latter, this was 2016, I immediately concluded that it was due to my unwillingness to re-assimilate back into the family structure, dysfunctional structure I might add, that I escaped from by going to the military and later college in another state. All about trying to re-establish control. I left four years later and have gone no contact. Tired of it.
4 месяца назад
Feel ya Pal. No doubt there are moments where it just hits. Sitting st me desk once and it felt as if she just died. You are not alone. Hope you are doing ok My mother was brutally malevolent. Even ascan infant. I heard Ive almost died. Been NC, reconnected and it reaffirmed NC is essential. Ruined my daughter, grandkids, and I was treated wickedly. no remorse. Evil demonic possession.
A former cousin and my grandfather are both manipulative, sneaky, calculating, petty, and deceptive people. As long as you adapt to and go along with their nonsense, they're good with you. The minute you balk or hold them accountable, out comes the claws. I've worked too hard, come too far in building a life for myself, and then lower myself by trying to fit in to their lowlife agenda. Both of them are delusional. It's all about power and control with those two. Everything is a game to them. I disarmed the ex cousin by going no contact, and the grandfather by gray rocking.
I also detected that regarding her oldness and remark- reasserting her authority.She was expecting me to react. I kept on walking. Mother or not, life is better without her.
I have a brother who can't escape, i can't talk to him about how she's manipulated him his whole life for her supply. 4 sisters 3 brothers, and we all have been manipulated in a different way, some it worked on, others like my sister and myself it didn't, we became the black sheep. I left home at 13, joined the army at 18, and stayed 24 years. She is still alive with the left hand on the playbook 93 years old, the sickness is in the marrow, and they die this way. They go back down the rabbit hole same.way, and they come out. twisted.
At this moment, the malice I’m experiencing is the silent treatment. Because I told him what he said about me, and how he said it, annoys me. No way I’m apologizing for expressing my feelings! The quiet is nice actually… 🌻
It would take me years to recount all the evil people I've had to deal with. School, work, boyfriends, husbands, in-laws, neighbors and even some family members. It's just awful
This describes very well my passive aggressive narcissistic mom and wasband. Neither could even imagine any reason to be different than themselves, to be kinder, to be thoughtful or honest, to take responsibility for themselves or the natural responsibilities of their roles of mother, or husband. Yet despite this relentlessly persistent take, I KNEW that they did know. Because they knew how to behave in public. They simply saw no reason to maintain that "pretence" when not needed. And pop was overly narcissistic, although not very smart. Childhood was hell. Marriage was hell. I was and still am so glad that they are gone. My main emotion was and still is sheer relief. Awful people.
I had an N-mom with alcohol addiction, and now I have a N-husband who needs to tranquillize himself at night. He is a good guy most of the time, but sometimes it’s like a switch gets flipped. Had I hot grown up in a dysfunctional household, I would have known that his “quirks” really are not okay. Our youger daughter jusy graduated college and she is moving in with her older sister. Not that I can possibly blame them! Now I have to decide how to navigate my own little boat through these shoals.
Spineless sadism. My cousin. He defamed me behind my back to an aunt from the opposite side of the family so she would disinherit me. I've been severely disabled since I was seven. My cousin thinks it's over. It's not. He's got shocks coming.
Brilliantly described with spot on details Darren. The key words are perceived slight- which the narcissist sees everywhere, and taking it out onto innocent and vulnerable victims. You have nailed it Darren. Exactly the case. Thank you 🙏 God bless you ❤
I recently and for the first time ever, turned down a bathroom remodelling project based on my very strong instincts (and subsequently, independently verified) that the father of the client was a full blown narc.... I explained my honest reasoning to my prospective client which she fully recognised and didn't challenge.... However, my immediate thought was... That her father would want revenge in our close-knit community.... He already has an atrocious reputation of causing problems by 'helping' his daughter in other matters involving neighbourly disputes ... One of which required a restraining order... Think I dodged a bullet there 😎
I caught her in a huge lie. She denied it of course. She blocked me. She does not want to be accountable. She doesn’t care who she hurts. She has called me crazy and a lot of other names.
Trying to understand my wife. 31 years of marriage , she has some traits of narcissism, vindictiveness and manipulation. I find myself drawn to psychology just to better understand the mechanics or inner workings of people . Thank you for the video
I started to investigate psychology when I realised I was dealing with a particular abusive person in my life. The most fascinating fact I learned was that all abusers are represented on the Dark Tetrad. They follow the same handbook and repeat the same behaviours/excuses/shaming and blaming.
I started dating someone last year whos ex is what I now know shows narcissistic behaviours. He sent threats,slashed the tyres on my car,spread lies about my behaviour and character,drove past my house regularly and followed me on a couple of occasions.Even used his son as a weapon against her. It culminated in him assaulting me in January. A truly horrible person.
I think I could make a whole RU-vid channel around giving examples that illustrate the points in this video. Very well done, sir. Peace to anyone who has endured such evil.
Grudges for years. Long story short, I stopped helping my father perform his job that earned him a supplemental income, because it had become detrimental to my physical health. At least that's how I saw it. I was 18 at the time. Would you believe he brought that up 26 years later? Here's the sickening thing: he was a deadbeat and if one of his neglected children brought that up, he doesn't want to hear it. That was a long time ago. It wasn't that bad. Get out of his house if that's how you feel.
The first time I heard someone voice they held a grudge against me for playing a harmless prank (and I mean harmless) at a post-secondary party (25 yrs earlier) I experienced the deer-in-headlights expression myself. Followed by horror. Because I *knew* (at that point) what it meant. The subsequent violence and malice was worse than anything I could have prepared for. I knew this person for nearly 30 yrs. I trusted them implicitly. I still can't believe I didn't see it in all that time. 😕
Absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this Darren, Speaks volumes, They get vindictive when you stand up for yourself, All the hate, Abuse, Threats and intimidation, When you speak truth, A monster mask a raiding as a hero, It's bollocks, I see through you the mask and facade, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 👽🌲⚖🍄🌹🎆🐎✌🦄🍎😘🚀☘🍏🌈💜❤💛💚💙🦁🕆🕊😃
@@__-tz6xx Good afternoon, You know nothing, 😃✌Haters gonna hate 😃✌ I'll keep shining light, Speaking truth and smiling, 😃✌ Have a pleasant day, Peace, love and respect to you 😃✌🌌🌈🎆🎆🎆💜💚💗💙💛❤💜😃
The upside to narcissistic rage is its blinding single-mindedness makes them stupid. They don’t know when THEY are being manipulated. Then you’re free, you made them think they won.
Darren, my story has a happy ending... After my narc husband discarded me after 26 years of marriage, I was devastated, so was my child. But we made a clean break... Didn't see him. Didn't talk to him. Didn't accept any money from him. It was the hardest time of our lives, feeling inadequate and lost. But we got through, one step at a time, lots of tears along the way. Today, five years later, our lives are back on track. We're forever changed but things are good for us again. Best regards.
I had a cousin like this (notice that I said had), whom I had no option other than to disown after she stole money from me and several other relatives. She is manipulative, calculating, entitled, devious, vindictive, and evil. My grandfather, who has some similar traits, aids and abetted her through life with this behavior. He gave the okay for her to steal, so I now drastically limit my contact with him.
then the N used it as evidence against me. ( reactive abuse ). and my being "baited" into bad behavior. sacrificing my dignity and principles. it felt disgusting. their game is to WIN AT ALL COSTS. I ran and found my dignity again. and never returned. it is a very SICK SOUL the N.
It’s called reactive abuse. I’m definitely guilty of this many times. I still struggle with it. Don’t feel bad about defending yourself but find a healthier way to deal with these demon seeds like removing them from your life.
In my mind fighting for the truth is always justified. But, as I found out from my own experience, malignant narcissists (and mine was actually a dark triad, honestly) always have a plan and they have several options of approach and several options of escape, and many details of their plans. My ex actually wrote all of her details in 3 notebooks. She had three tiers to her plan. The first was to groom me and manipulate me into having rough sex. (I hated the idea, I don't believe that type of behavior is of love.) She would instigate an intimate encounter with me and get me to leave a mark on her body that would incriminate me if she said I caused the mark while sexually assaulting her. The next tier was long term. Once she had me jailed she would keep me there indefinitely as she would create evidence of other assaults against me and leak them to a few people who would stir up interest and they would investigate and find more evidence. The third tier was for my demise after she let me out of prison. I mentioned that she wrote this plan in 3 notebooks. I found them while I was packing our things, she had been in the psych ward for 3 weeks and was not responding to medication and every time I tried to visit she would become psychotic, I knew we were going our separate ways. That's when I started reading the first notebook. I thought it was psychotic gibberish at first. It was creepy but disjointed and didn't make sense. Later, I found the second notebook and I realized what it was saying. Anyway, her final plan was to slowly end my life by poisoning me with the toxins of many plants that grew wild in our rural area. She had written an incredible amount of information regarding deadly toxins in plants, how the symptoms present. How each is tested medically, etc. So, to answer the question, when should we fight back, I think if you're in a relationship with a malignant narcissist and you are fortunate enough to have become privy to what is going on, I suggest collecting evidence in an utmost cautious way, and quickly transfer it to a safe place away from your partner. I would not hang around collecting evidence but, as I was devising a quiet escape and waiting for the right moment to exit, I would collect evidence. When you are gone the narc will react. Now, you have the upper hand as you can clearly see what direction they are going to take and you can use your evidence however it best relates to their behavior when they see you have left them. It's not easy and I honestly don't know what damaged me more, the abuse of 9 years or the emotions and psychological energy and toll it took just so I could prove that any of this happened at all. And my narc only stayed institutionalized for about 6 months and was released to her father and then her grandparents.
A little story... I'm a smoker for years my ex was a hole lot in the DSM (couldn't figure out what he all had) including narcissistic. I had some weird things with him but I have a strong personality and I'm not very insecure. If I was at his house I smoked outside and put my sigaret in the garden and when I smoked again I always put the previous one in the bin (fire danger) it was the first time I noticed when being there 2 weeks later, coming through the gate there were 2 sigarets in the garden (which I thought was weird) but I cleaned them up. After the weekend I went home looking extra if I left anything but I didn't (at this point I hadn't mentioned it yet) so 2 weeks later it happened again and this was really weird because I made sure, I didn't say anything but they were my sigarets including lipstick and my brand. So I tried something else I put my sigarets in another place that weekend and it happened again at the previous place... and didn't say anything again. So it was terrible weather those next 2 weeks with a lot of rain, and when I came back at his place the sigarets where at the first spot again 3 of them neatly in one line and completely white... everyone who smokes knows if it gets wet and dries up it doesn't stay completely white but is stained. I confronted him and we had a conversation about it because he even lacked a normal raising voice when he was angry or anything else. Only the first time I doubted myself but never mentioned it and he didn't knew I was watching and trying it out. After that it weirdly stopped.
Hi Darren, it has been awhile since I have been posting comments on your videos, but I am always learning and I wanted to share something that very few people seem to talk about, and it pertains to religion. I have read the bible a couple of times but it was somewhat difficult as I did not have an in depth knowledge of what happened during those times. I have read some of Buddha's teachings as well, and I have recently been looking at various quotes from the Quran. I noticed a pattern in each of these religions in the type of person that is not doing right in the eyes of God/Jesus, Allah, and Buddha. This person is one that is arrogant, haughty, mixes lies with the truth to manipulate and/or demean others, lacks empathy ( sometimes referred to as sympathy) towards others, is boastful and bragging, envious, displays prowess, slander, deceit, as wall as many other characteristic traits of what we understand today as narcissism in science of psychology and psychiatry. Narcissistic behavior has been taught to us for multiple hundreds of years. They knew this from the Kings/ Queens/Princes/Princesses, at least, a good amount. Also leaders of armies and the soldiers that might behave in these manners as well, has had very serious impacts on historical civilizations for religions to be built around these behaviors, and to be warning people about them. I wish people in all religions would understand this. Unless we all spoke the same language, then we could not know how prevalent these behaviors are from one region to another. But many religions encompass multiple languages and this has certainly helped to have a wider range of people to understand the behaviors, but not so much on an international scale. Currently, we have Putin, Netanyahu, Assad, and certain Saudi Princes slaughtering thousands and thousands of people without any signs of empathy in their actions to the point of ethnic cleansing and genocide, as well as Donald Trump and his clearly Histrionic/Narcissistic behaviors. I keep reflecting to myself, that for hundreds and hundreds of years these behaviors have been taught to us all over the world, and clearly, to this very day, we have not learned a thing. When will we understand it? Thank for all of your depth and generosity in sharing your work as it is always appreciated.
I have found myself in the midst of everything you describe. Believe it or not, my workplace turned into a breeding ground for just about everything you describe. Not everyone is like that, of course, but the leading and crucial people are. While I wasn't the primary target of their rage, I was unfortunately collateral damage. I am working on getting out of there and maintain the highest possible level of professionalism in the meantime, I also try not to let it get to me. but its exhausting at times.
Willful sabotage. Truthfully, I have concluded that my now deceased narcissistic father had my brother, who was great at auto mechanics, sabotage my car because of some innocent comments about making wise decisions and how such shapes our lives. I made better decisions than he did and my life turned out better.
Hi Doctor Thank you so much for everything and many blessings for you always and forever. Please forgive me and again thank you 💐💐💐🕊️🕊️💕 much appreciative all . The Intention and the heart matters. Blessings to you always
Dated one that was malignant. He was controlling, manipulative, dishonest, mean, sensitive, angry, self-centered, selfish, violent, arrogant, vindictive, loud, and intimidating-and those were his better qualities. I went nc eight years ago and will never break it. Best thing I ever did.
I broke all contact with both of my narcissistic parents. Neither of them ever got over it. My mother filled he will with tales of what a cold unfeeling person I am because she was cut off and could not play her ugly games with my wife or myself. I used to be attracted to women that shared my mother's worst traits but happily I grew out of that. I've been married for forty years to a woman who has none of the traits exhibited by my parents. She and I still quite like each other, like actually friends. I be a lucky fellow.
Harbor resentment and special treatment. Here's one: I am single, never been married, no children, almost a doctorate, a rewarding professional job, and completely self-sufficient. Life is good. I have a female colleague, a single mother with two teenage sons, and a divorcee. She clearly has narcissistic qualities: manipulation, gaslighting, love-bombing, and attention seeking. I will spare you the details of each. Of course, I am not supposed to be privy to any of this, allow my loins to lead me, and take on all of that responsibility, not to mention what will inevitably come regarding the emotional anguish that accompanies being with such a person. Pray tell me why?🤣
Yup my husband is a coward and a master manipulator. While we are still together,we have moved far from the tiny town and his friends and family. I’ve cut them all off as they are flying monkeys and are also,manipulated. I often correct his language which implies I’m the bad one in front of others. He uses selective memory of discussions, and still tries on the victimhood,thing is living so far away and removing myself from his friends,family ,he has no audience. These days he gets his ego hit from working at a higher level again. Takes the pressure off me. If only I’d read the red flags with him and his family all those years ago. I’m actually enjoying a few told u so’s,and well I tried to warn you and of course the I have no recollection of that conversation. It’s intensely satisfying after recovering from a huge betrayal and desertion from years ago.
The words “ holding a grudge” imply a petty resentment. Going low or no contact for serious abuse, and feeling angry about the abuser’s treatment of you, is not petty behavior. It is justified, and you are saving yourself. As the other comment says, you are not engaging in a hissing contest; indeed you are disengaging!
If they break the law you can use your voice memo app to record , if you close the app while recording theres jut a green line at the top as if youre connected to a hotspot
The hue dark and the color Black should not be demonized. Let the innocence of colors and hues be free from human drama. Find something else to connotate your disparities.
How do you publicly expose them to the world? What if you cant really walk away because of the job situation? They were friendly at first then,a total nutjob.What about recording them as they spew their gaslighting lies?
My experience is that we focus everyday on something we can improve in our life or someone else's life. Life gradually gets better. They end up exposing themselves. You aren't the only one they treat that way. The truth comes out
Yeah i can attest to this, having ro deal with all of these at the moment from my beloved siblings, mainly my sis. Ive tried to understand her issues but put it down to her being her, now i believe she is sabotaging a chance i have to prove her lies and BS. So frustrating because do i say to work this is what i believe is going on but it would make me look like a paranoid scitzo. She hates im trying to raise my vibration and be the best version of myself.
