Thanks for making this video, Jenn! So relatable and I’m glad we’re talking more about what being on social media does to our minds. Everything was relatable esp the pressure to make everything content - for example even being on vacation was overwhelming bc there was so much opportunity for content vs. just wanting to enjoy the moment. I’ve let go of trying to make everything an “aesthetic” moment and my camera roll is now filled with unaesthetic photos that I don’t post & are purely for my memory 😂
it always amazes me how you seem to discuss the exact topics i’m struggling with right when i need it 🥹 thank you for so many years of comfort & insights! ❤️
Wow. This video truly resonates with me in a way that I think will impact me forever. I've looked up to you immensely for years and oftentimes I feel like I'm following your footsteps - you always mention that at the peak of your career, your mental health and self-image were at their lowest. As my social media career grows and I reach so many crazy milestones, I can feel myself struggling more and more with all of the topics you touch upon: work/life balance, the desire for external validation, imposter syndrome, etc. Your content and insight always reminds me to take a step back and actively work on these mental traps before they consume me further. Thank you for this ❤
Paused at 6:15: Social media inflates your self importance. It makes you feel like everyone is waiting on you…waiting for you to post. Yessss, so true. I actually have loved your life commentary/ self-reflection videos lately. I think it’s my favorite content you produce. Beauty and Brains 😊
I'm so grateful that you made this video ❤ Seeing creators that "made it to the mountain top" and come back to tell the truth about it is so beautiful. It helps us calibrate our mindset, habits, and content to withstand the long game. Thank you Jenn. Your videos always feel like a rich, warm, home-cooked meal 😋💕
I completely relate to everything you said. I realized recently that my RU-vid channels don’t reflect enough of my inner world so I’m going to overhaul my content. I’ve also had to work really diligently in therapy to let go of the negative comments about me online. It’s a rewarding job but it can also be incredibly toxic.
It's definitely a process to be able to create work that truly reflect what's inside our minds, so I hope you're not being too hard on yourself. Sending you my love! xx
Thanks for sharing this Kait! I just started putting myself out there online and the fear of negative comments is what’s stopped me. I commend you for putting yourself out there and taking the time to block those negative thoughts in your being… and know that for every one bad comment you get there are more likely hundreds if not thousands who truly look up to you, not the least of which is because you put yourself out there when not many will. Preaching to myself here as I aim to shoot and edit more video. Rock on sister!! 🤘🏽
@@checreates You got this!! Like Jenn mentioned, our brains have a negativity bias so we may get 300 positive comments in a day but 1 negative comment, and we'll inevitably focus on the negative. I've had to work REALLY hard on changing my brain through therapy and it's been massively helpful in processing hate comments and dms. You can do it! It's hard at times but so worth it. Ultimately, you don't want to look back on your life with regret that you didn't do something purely out of fear.
"Don't be afraid to take your time.. really simmer on it because depth takes time & patience... and honestly, in this digital world that's rapidly becoming this dumpster filled with ill-prepared processed microwave content, be that warm, nourishing, homemade meal straight from the oven that's perfectly seasoned and marinated because that's what humans crave." my girl, that's a mfin BAR. *mic drop* i am so appreciative of your analysis & thoughts on this current digital age and i'm right there with you.
This all resonated with me and I'm not even a content creator. Social media definitely has its dark sides and it's easy to spiral into these traps if we don't have self-esteem. That was my biggest takeaway. Like we truly need to wholeheartedly love and accept ourselves. Both the good, the bad, and the ugly. This also reminds me of the line, "I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything," which is true. It's actually better to stand for something, even though it may not be a popular opinion, but at least having principles helps us stay grounded, firm and resilient to whatever this world chooses to give us.
I think that’s why it’s so relatable, right? My hypothesis is a lot of people are in denial this applies to them because they’re not “content creators”. False!! Anyone on social media needs to hear this
Jenn, I love the kind of "influencer" you've become! Nowadays, I find myself mentioning you more often when talking with friends because you're the only youtuber I watch, whose content, I feel, is actually relevant right now, and who is reminding me to be more mindful and reflective. I also recently got into reading again, partly because I read March's curlupclub book "Stolen Focus" :) Thank you for taking the time to share what you're passionate about!
Jenn, I've been following you since just before your viral "how I lost 10 pounds" video.. just turned 20 then, and today I just turned 30. I felt like I grew a lot with you - through your thrifting days, fashion days, then your journey of self-love and self-acceptance, through your relationships, then motherhood.. if anything I'm always very thankful you're so honest and transparent in your videos. I relate to everything you said in this video. You make me feel seen, heard and normal. At the start you inspired me to dress better, and now you inspire me to just... be okay being me. To be okay with every aspect of me because we're just human, and humans are downright COMPLEX. Thank you for sharing your honest opinions with this video!
Jenn! I'm a mom now (my baby's only a couple months apart from Lennon) and what I love about your channel is that I feel like I'm growing with you. Everything that you choose to share from your struggles to the highlights, I see you growing and it's inspiring! The lessons you learn in therapy, the boundaries you're creating, the meals you cook, the way you try to be a better partner in marriage, the books you read, the growth in your mindset and the way you view life, it's just all so great! You're peeling through your layers of who you are and just figuring it out like the rest of us! I genuinely feel like when I watch your videos, I don't feel like I'm watching content or watching an influencer but just feels like I'm listening to a friend talk about what's going on in her life. I'm sure there's so much that goes behind the scenes and we do appreciate that effort, but we love that you're being you as you weave through the complexities of life and deep questions like "what moved me?". Thank you for being you, Jenn! :)
this was so eloquently said, jenn! as someone who's just starting out I struggle with feeling inauthentic in my life when I'm filming / vs inauthentic in my videos when I'm living life on camera, thanks for sharing your relationship with this so many years into your career !!
It really is too much data! Even as someone who generally feels calm and confident, and bases my judgment on internal measures, I have found the social media analytics (from creator side) to be kind of like a false promise of objectivity. Just because they’re numbers doesn’t mean it’s any more valid. At the end of the day it’s still a piece of external validation. Jenn I’ve been following your content for a decade now (like on and off, because we are humans and interest varies ❤), and this video really spoke to me. Best “how to RU-vid” video ever. Depth takes time.
I still remember the first time I got a video suggestion from this channel. It was your pregnancy journey- I was instantly hooked, it was so relatable. It's been so satisfying to follow the channel cause not only entertaining but it's also so wholesome, yes I said wholesome❤
I like what you said about the viewers not seeing all the complexities and sides of a content creator. Over the years I started to unfollow contents that seem way too polished, too "perfect" because I realised that not only is it not them, it's definitely not their reality, but also because it feels like a robot posting rather than a human being with eccentricities, thoughts and feelings. But on the other hand, I would totally understand the will to share content as a brand or not wanting to share too much of oneself to the world. There are few content creators who can share constant wisdom and interesting reflections as you over the years. Thank you!
I remember copying your style when you were clothesencounters in my elementary school days, then living vicariously through your wild 20's in highschool, and now your 30's after I finished uni! It's been a ride growing up with you Jenn!
Jenn I think you would like the book "The Chaos Machine: The Inside Story of How Social Media Rewired Our Minds and Our World". It talks about how social media exploits vulnerabilities in human psychology to promote extreme emotions and extreme actions. A quote: "Social apps hijack a compulsion-a need to connect-that can be even more powerful than hunger or greed." Definitely the dark side of social media. I learned so much from it!
Content creators are really hardworking. A lot of them try their best to be “perfect”. That’s exhausting. And honestly, I feel that eventually messes with their mental health which eventually they disappear from social media. They would either come back as what we think is a new person (when really a lot of them come back as wanting to be themselves), or they don’t come back at all.
exactly the video I needed today, feeling all dull and comparing my ideal self with my current mindset. Thank you Jenn :) Have been watching you for the last ten years and grew up to you becoming this strong person you are today
I am actually relieved… for over a decade I’ve been trying to be an influencer because I felt that I have a huge passion for beauty and fashion, it meant to me that I HAVE to be a creator. But I was never successful. Instantly I felt fake and needed external validation which I immediately felt so off and not myself. It was on and off for so long and eventually I was like no, this is not for me. Instead I used that energetic passion to become a makeup artist and fashion designer. I am still into posting my interest and daily life but gone are the days trying to be a creator. I’m living in the moment and doing my best to be proud of my occupation. I really appreciate your honesty ❤ and seriously naming the toxicity of social media that nobody mentions. I still love your videos, you and your ideas from the past till now and I can see the growth and changes, which we also need to see to grow cause that’s REAL life! Thank you for being a real influencer. 🎉
Jenn. I’ve been watching you for over a decade now and I have loved seeing you grow and evolve over time. For many of us, it’s like we’re growing up beside you, you being the big sister and knowing what to say and how to say it in a way that perfectly explains how a lot of us are feeling. Thank you so much for being you and sharing all the different parts of what makes you, you 🤍
I’ve been watching your videos since I was 11 years old in 2010. You are the only reason I visit RU-vid anymore! I’m not sure how to say this without sounding naive - I don’t put people on a pedestal. I know what I see online isn’t the full truth and that people show you what they want you to see. That being said, I’ve always related not to your life really but more so your choices, your struggles, and your perspective on things. I’ve respected you as a person and admired what you did choose to show us. Even through the screen it is very clear that you are a real person full of soul and of higher-order intelligence and thinking. From where I stand the essence of who you are is beautiful, real, and just freaking human. What you have to say, edited or not, flawed or curated, is of value and many of us fellow humans continue to appreciate it. Much love to you and your family. x
Thank you for this video, I’m not an active social media user and sometimes it makes me feel like I’m losing friends. But I agree with all the downsides of social media you mentioned, I dont feel the urge to share anything because I dont think anyone needs to know about what Im doing seeing or thinking. However most of my peers use this to maintain connections such as by replying stories or whatever. I just feel like theres a struggle between wanting to maintain friendships but refusing to be dragged into the social media trap. I don’t know whether I should just go with the flow or continue to be me and see how many friends would still bother to contact me. Your video has helped me rethink social media because it was built for connection, now that its aim is clear I kinda want to be more active on it while being aware of why I use it.
Jenn! Is writing a memoir or any book in your long-term plan by any chance? I love it when you create thought-provoking and reflective content like this, and I have always admired your communication skills. I would love to have a book in hand that contains more of your insights about life, arts and humanity
Wow, this hit right on time! I've been off from social media for 2 weeks now, and it has brought so much peace. However, I'm a business owner and understand the significance of social media and just trying to find balance. Thanks Jenn for your transparency on this matter and keep taking your time. Life is beautiful that way ✨️
This video speaks the truth about downsides of social media and it means a lot coming from you as the content creator. You’re one of the few youtubers I still tune into and get excited to listen to bc you always have value add content to share. “You become what you spend your time on”
Hey Jenn💗I recently just deleted (like full-on deleted) my Instagram account because I felt like I was putting pressure on myself to be perfect and make everything about content. So hearing you talk about this makes me feel like I'm not crazy or alone. Thank you for opening up on this topic 💖
I think what you said about the self-esteem/seeking validation/success part is really interesting and can be applied to anyone! No matter what career path or life choices people make, if they don't have the self esteem and love for themselves while always seeking only external validation, no matter what success they have, it won't be enough. People have to learn how to love themselves and believe in themselves before they can accept any validation from others. Love that you're sharing this side and hopefully more people can recognize not to idolize others' lives and can love their own path no matter what it may be!
Jenn, this is a really good salt of the earth heart-to-heart. I am not a sub, but I stumbled upon this. I think it can even be helpful for my daughters to see this. Thank you.
Love this as a commentary to consumption of online social lives. We all know it's not exactly or always the healthiest relationship, but the little insights into consuming it in a healthier way is always the bit I need to hear, or to be reminded of 😌
A really thought provoking video! I commented with criticism in one of your recent videos saying things feel rigid and too structured but hearing your thoughts on vlogs and preventing seeing life through the lens makes me understand that the rigidness of your videos comes from the professionalism you put into your work because this is your job! It’s not simply sharing your life like everyone does but with your years of experience, of course brings wisdom on why you do things a certain way.
It’s so interesting how social media can affect us in a very subtle way. Last week I decided to be off social media and I still had the urge to share or know what was happening on Instagram. I did feel like I was missing out and started questioning why I have so much FOMO. At the same time, I was starting to think more of things I’ve been wanting to do and to go for them, like my attention was able to focus on things that social media will usually distract me or make me forget about it. I do like sharing on social media, but I am learning to enjoy my life out of the screen even more.
I remember you saying in an older video how you feel like you can’t just enjoy a view because you feel like you have to film it or take a picture, and after hearing you say that I have always thought about that
Oh Jenn, you just have a way to articulate your thoughts so well, thanks for chatting to us on such an important topic. Just wanted you to know how comforting your words/presence have always been to me over the last decade, sending you lots of love
It was really refreshing watching a content creator talk about this topic. Social media is great, but with moderation. It really can be addictive and since it is still something fairly new, we have yet to see the long term consequences. We have forgotten how to live life before everything we: did/saw/wore/liked/shared/ate/drank/went/thought/etc. had be "InstaWorthy". We pay more attention to our screens than to those around us. As you shared, we do compare ourselves and accept the validation we receive online. Idk. I just continue to wonder, where will this all lead us to?
I've been here since you were thrifting, and I have to say: THANK YOU! 💕 This is so important! It's impossible to live up to the online, edited version of ourselves & ofc most of the time we only show what we think is the best version of us, but tbh these are the kind of videos that really make me proud to be part of this community. Thank you for sharing this and for inspiring me to stop editing my online self 🙌🏼
I think the best part of this video was when you mentioned that you stutter. I stutter and I know how difficult it can be. Honestly, this was really hard for me to deal with throughout my K-12 education until I started college and pageantry. I always love watching your videos and I feel like I can connect with you better!
I started watching your videos around 7 years ago and have grown up with you since. Thank you for always sharing what's on your mind and being transparent with us. We're all human ~
Just wanted to say that you've been killing it with your videos lately (these thumbnails!!!!!), thank you so much for continuing to share your journey with us 💌
Such pertinent points! Glad you are shedding light on this, I feel like so many of us get "stuck" in the digital world and forget to enjoy and love ourselves fully without needing to post about it
“In this digital world that’s quickly becoming a dumpster of ill prepared processed microwave content- be that warm nourishing homemade meal straight from the oven that’s been perfectly seasoned and marinated because that’s humans crave- that’s what we fucking need” I resonated so so hard to this ❤️
I’ve been watching you since my high school days and in a way I grew up with you . Seeing you come so far makes me happy and also I want to thank you for always being so transparent . ❤
I got here from Alyssa Lenore's storys and I'm in shock at all the connections you've made. I'm not a big content creator, but I have in my veins a need to share relevant or interesting things and your video expresses a lot of things that I feel mainly deciding what to record to be a vlog or when to live in the moment without having to record or photograph something. Your thoughts are excellent Jenn! Thank you and I'm now your new follower. 🤩
That microwave vs home cooked meal analog was so good! The niche/doing just one thing convo is why I still enjoy your channel. Cause you don’t just do one thing.
Something that have always made me stay constant in you channel is the way i connect to you and what you stand for, thanks for being so open and speak about this things. Love you Jenn! ❤ following you since clothes encounters 🫰🏽
Thanks for the tips! I've just started taking my social media seriously and establishing boundaries, like certain vlog days or content days, has really helped. Since you mentioned the notifications tip, I've since turned mine off! I'm hoping that helps. It's so easy to get completely sucked in these days
This is very helpful, especially the part about sharing all sides of yourself (that you feel comfortable with) and not having to find a niche for your content like every single branding guru says to do. Thanks for sharing!!
I love this. I have been a social worker for 1 year now and I am going through it. What you're talking about made me realize the balance between life and work. The work of a social worker comes with a lot of responsibility, the autonomy to choose your own hours, setting your own boundaries and also comments. Comments where people will say over the phone how they feel (negatively) about you while you have been working your ass of for them, even outside of your usual work norms and hours. I almost wanted to quit being a social worker. But this video made me realize it's not that I don't like my job, but it's me figuring out work life balance.
Wow, this video is a sign of maturity. Ive watched you change from your videos and its amazing to see how far you’ve come. This kind of videos is my jam and the teenagers should watch this!
Honestly and this is why I love watching your vlog, I didn't watch in your early 20s but the last years, your content just feels more real, things that matter to you and you are passionate about. ❤️ Many especially young people only see the glamour side of being an influencer they want the perfect life, the freebies, the external validation but forget that many times once you become one your life is not yours anymore, it's everyone's which can be hard to move away from. Definitely in my younger years crossed my mind to be an influence, I quickly changed my mind about anyone knowing about me. But I'm so thankful for you sharing this perspective!
ah everything about this ! You worded it perfectly ! I don't have a large following like you do but i've been posting for years, and people never talk about how much creators/influencers compare their current self to their past self. I thought I was the only one for so long. Also editing and seeing your face all the time brings out insecurities you didn't know you had. Thank you for posting this !
I think this is an interesting and important conversation to have. Nowadays it is practically impossible to escape social media, and the implicit messages shared by those with bigger platforms aren't always the healthiest. I think you send a great point by encouraging people to be mindful in their social media consumption. There are way too many people with platforms who spread harmful messages, and it times even fuel their audience's dependence on content consumption. Great video, as always!
Someone who loves to document things, I've been finding myself trying to record every glimpse and moment and things that I do but I also somewhat miss the times when I would just enjoy the moment. Good for you for finding that balance. I'm still having a hard time doing so.... but yeah I just need to find my own balance.
can we talk about when youtube released the "update" to the studio dashboard THAT RANKS HOW WELL YOUR NEW VIDEO IS DOING COMPARED TO THE LAST??? the way i've spent hours trying to turn that feature off. as if comparing your channel to others' isn't bad, now i gotta compare myself to...mySELF? enough already 🤣😂
I feeeel you! I purposefully try to avoid my YT Studio app after an upload. Too much unnecessary data! Also, unrelated, but I think every single one of your videos are works of art!!! x
i love how you've reflected on this so much and matured as a content creator over the years!!! it's a very refreshing and real perspective i needed to hear since i'm considering creating content as well
I started watching you 8 years ago when I was at a really low point in my life, and your videos really helped to inspire me to keep pushing through and embrace life in all its ups and downs. Your cheerful spirit, your entertaining personality, I felt like I could relate to you. Your wonderful energy radiates through your videos. Now I'm living my best life 😊. Thank you, Jenn ❤
Loved hearing your thoughts on this topic! After being addicted to external validation for most of my life, I've been trying to train myself to lean into internal validation, but it's a continuous process. I'm working on a book of self-reflection exercises, and it's such a DELIGHT when I'm immersed in the creative process... but then I think about sharing it on social media or how it would be received, and OMG my fear of judgment and imposter syndrome are intense. I do want to release the book, but I also want to protect it (and myself). I'm trying to remember that I can't control other people's opinions of me, and to not put too much weight on these opinions, whether they be negative or positive. 💛
so true. I think my biggest piece of advice on this topic would be to unfollow, unfriend, and unsubscribe from people. You don’t owe them anything, and if their content isn’t giving you joy anymore then you can leave. I don’t know why I always had so much guilt around unfollowing or unsubscribing from people who don’t even know I exist.
I’ve been watching your videos since I was a kid and you were (and still are) one of my biggest idols that got me into fashion. Even now as an adult, I can relate to everything you’re saying. Thank you ❤
Jenn!! Thanks for always being authentic. We are the same age and I loved coming into adulthood with you. You’ve always displayed authenticity, intelligence, creativity and have been relatable. We know the game and thanks for speaking out about this, especially people that are looking to get into social media. I’m too shy to get into it, but glad to see someone like you succeeding.
love you so much jenn! i've been a fan for many years now and your journey into adulthood and motherhood is so inspiring. i've been on a similar self-improvement journey full of introspection, making big life decisions, and healing mental illness. it brings me so much hope to see you and your videos! sending all the love to you
I absolutely loved this video! I’ve been a fan for years and have loved watching you grow and change and see what new or different content you create! I also loved the tips you shared. A while ago I turned off my notifications. I realized how addicted I became to seeing everyone a notification would pop up if someone liked my photo or messaged me. I definitely want to try out your tip about taking a deep breath before opening an app to see if you really want to go on it! Sending you all the love, Jenn!! Thanks for being so vulnerable and open and sharing what you’ve learned along the way! ❤❤❤
The anxiety you feel that people won’t like the real you is how I feel. I’m seemingly popular IRL because I’m optimistic and friendly but I have a lot of dark days
Hiya, as someone how just started my own youtube channel, this video truly resonates with me. I think it's wonderful you are sharing these important messages to the young generation, exactly what is need. X
Oh Jenn, this video is so helpful it’s just what I needed to hear. Being on RU-vid and trying to figure out what I need to do to please the algorithm is exhausting, niching down, keywords, trends etc not to mention keeping up with all the other social apps can really take a toll on your mental health. I will definitely be looking back on this video to remind myself I am in control.
I'm happy you found this video helpful. Just like every career, this job has the ability to grind the spirit out of you too. What helps me is to remind myself why I love creating and then channeling that passion into my projects again. x
22 year old here reallyyyy struggling with self-love and self-esteem (especially after a recent breakup).☹️ I’d love a video on your advice on how you started building those for yourself Jenn!!
as a microintluencer/digital creator, i really needed this validation. it's really hard to separate work from real life these days but i'm trying my best to balance them both 🥺
I appreciated this video so much. I think setting boundaries with technology and responses and being intentional with what we do is so key in today's day and age where we can spend our entire days reacting to life instead of actively planning and living it. Thanks for making this video, I connected with it greatly.
But I am really waiting for your release every week and I get down when you didn't last week I kinda feel you update every two weeks hahah I wouldn't mind watching your release every day girl! You really kindle me. I just reached the threshold of 20 and I am a total mess. I don't know who I am what I want what life I want but seeing your journey gives me a gleam of hope that with positivity and time I can only grow and glow.
I actually really appreciate the transparency in this video. I kept neglecting my yt channel because I was afraid the "quality" of my lifestyle was not living up to the standards of other youtubers but then I saw one of your older videos about not being afraid to post, to just get your content out there and I feel pretty good about it now! But I really admire this video as a way to keep me in a reality check and be careful of my intentions, but more importantly, to take care of myself. Thank you Jenn! ❤
Love the video! I think it’s increasingly important to set boundaries with social media. One thing I think that was amiss when discussing the dark side of social media is also the deep loneliness it can perpetuate for those of us that don’t have a following. Putting yourself out there to an empty room is just tough, even if you love creating content just for the sake of it. People resort to drastic things just to garner this attention or following.
I really love listening to you, you always sound mature and genuine, you really sound like you made the homework on working on yourself and I really love seeing that in a content creator!
As someone who just started a RU-vid channel, this is such a useful video. On one hand, I find it a bit scary to start now when everything is an already tested niche and trend. My experience editing my first videos were filled with cuts and trims - and even more cuts... It's lile trying to cut a life down right to the perfect size. On the other, it's great to find blueprints through those like you who have already walked through this space as it feels a bit like a guide or insight to start with. This video essay is certainly helpful! ✨
