The Dissociative Identity Disorder Controversy (Trauma vs. Iatrogenic) 

Thank you for describing DID in a way that makes more sense to those of us who actually live with it. I know that this isn't the experience for all who are diagnosed, but mine was trauma induced. I look at my personality as a mirror, and the prolonged trauma I suffered fractured that mirror. My brain did what it had to do to help me survive the abuse. I don't see it as a mental illness. It was a survival skill. Now that those abusive situations and dangerous people are gone, it's like I have to re-train my brain to function in a more normative way. There are fractures there and much more work to do, but my amazing therapist and loving friends continually remind me that I'm worth that hard work.

I am a 74 year old female who was diagnosed as a multiple in the early 90s after a MVA. It was this trauma that uncovered abuse during my childhood by both parents and an aunt who became my legal guardian. I would be very interested in discussing my journey with MPD, its causes and effects and how I came to a place where my alters could communicate with each other safely. How I gained control of my life that had turned into a careening bus of children, all of whom wanted to drive. It was indeed a bumpy ride.

a well informed and balanced approach to a controversial topic? what are you, a unicorn?

I fought with the specialist when he diagnosed me because "I don't disappear". Yea, about that.... I use to see my sides as "moods", but moods don't talk to each other. :) It's not easy to understand to us (my system) I can't imagine being "normal" trying to comprehend it. Thanks for the video.

I know this is an old video but thank you so much for this. I feel like the focus on DID right now is about the alters, when it should absolutely be on the trauma. I am, at heart, aware that I, and all of the alters, are constructs of an abused child's mind. It's uncomfortable, but true. Framing alters as developed mood states sort of changes how we view ourselves, but in a much more positive way, I think. Knowing that we were created for a real purpose makes me feel much better. Sorry if this is rambling, but thank you again.

This controversy has had a severe negative impact on my life (58 years). I wish science could get it together enough to actually help people in ways that actually help them. Probably won’t happen in my life time. I’ve been diagnosed with DID 2 separate times by 2 different therapists who aren’t specialists and didn’t have any monetary interest. I’ve also been told it’s not real, alters or parts or Identity states or whatever you want to call them, are imaginary playmates and to ignore them. I been told to make a system map and journal to get to know alters. I’ve been told to not let alters journal and that making a system map is counterproductive. My friends and family can’t understand or accept. They try to support, but honestly don’t know how. I often feel like a complete outcast. I also am diagnosed with ptsd, several anxiety disorders, major depressive disorder recurring. Those diagnoses aren’t controversial. I do have a history of childhood trauma, corroborated by family members, but the severity or repeated nature of the trauma is not really quantifiable. It has been incredibly painful having a controversial diagnosis. I wish the scientists who discuss and debate could know this. Get it together, make up your minds and help people!

I was recently diagnosed with DID. While I suspected it for a long time, I always felt unsure as my symptoms didn't match the DSM completely in regards to amnesia. It's easy to forget that the DSM is very much a work in progress. It's a big dx to accept but it's also refreshing to let someone know what's been going on the past 18/26 years!

I have Been diagnosed with DID and all I know is this is an awful existence . Only a few close friends and family know about my diagnosis. I CAN'T relate to Most U tube content creators with it or the sensationalized side of this life I see displayed in shows etc.

I love that you mentioned all aspects, even money as a motivator to continue with one school of thought/treatment. Thank you!

You can tell a person really knows what they're talking about when they cite their sources in college essay format in the description of their video

Wow, this was so well done, thank you. I was wrongly diagnosed with DID 25 years ago, when what I actually should have been diagnosed with was CPTSD. Of course, that diagnosis was not yet recognized. I had a childhood history of extreme abuse, and did dissociate for much of my life, but the diagnosis of DID was by only one therapist who turned out to be abusive himself. I cannot thank you enough for this video. I just subscribed to your channel.

I really enjoyed this video. I have DID and not afraid to watch a video that shows all sides. I was asked by my GP to go to a therapist. I presented with agoraphobia bc I suffered from severe panic attacks for so long. Anxiety was an everyday all day problem. Also was in a state of Major depression, eating disorder, social anxiety and a fear...TREMENDOUS fear of being poisoned. I had no words, no vocabulary to even begin to tell my new therapist what was going on. I did not know what a therapist did. I had to take the MMPI test. Many questions related to my past. I simply had no answer, which didn't cause me even to question why I couldn't answer these questions. I began therapy once a week. But bc of my deteriation mentally, it turned into twice a week. I do remember telling my therapist that I was hearing a child and sometimes felt like a child...he had an explanation but it was not DID. I could not even look at his face in therapy, especially into his eyes. So, NO pre-existing knowledge of MPD. I was referred to a Psychiatrist for medications. So, many only made me sick...but I also feared medication and now wonder if those were just symptoms of extreme anxiety. Two years into medication-therapy time with the pyschiatrist outvof the blue he said "you have multiple personality disorder...read these books" which he wrote on a prescription pad 'Eve' & 'Sybil'. I was in complete shock. I drove home, which at that time was a 4 hour drive, crying and trying to think where this would come from. At home I called my therapist crying snd in a panic, relaying my experience. He kinda mumbled " I thought of BPD". This was 1991..it wasn't a fashion statement to say you had it...kinda like it is now. (Maybe that's not fair to those who are truly suffering from this). Because my Psychiatrist was such a well respected Psychiatrist and lecturer, my therapist took the diagnosis seriously. (But I didnt know that) He said he'd make a 2 hour appointment to talk this whole thing out. About 4 days later I had an appointment with him. Between that time I began to read EVE...damn that scared the hell out of me.I went to my 2 hour appointment. He didn't tell me what DID was, he simply said how we were going to work together on this....the first hour and half was helping me ti quit hyperventilating lol. Anyway, he started with having me start a journal. Ooooh boy, it didnt take long before my journal a 'person' in it, then another...and I could hear them talking introducing themselves to each other...this went on and on, as U grieved as though I had been told I had cancer. So, here I am, 30 years later, with a huge vocabulary, telling you without a doubt it is trauma that causes it. As I began to get memories I was sicked and horrified. As it turns out. In my life home was not safe and either was the world. This dynamic seemed to go all the way up to the last place I remembered when I entered therapy, 18 years old...hummmm. Love to hear from you...hear your thoughts on my (edited for time) story. Lynn B

I have severe DID, it was caused by my father, as a very young child I had to disconnect from my emotions to endure very hard situations. I was so practiced at doing this, that as an adult if I’m situation where the emotions are hard/uncomfortable I can disconnect from my emotions…. I can walk away from someone I deeply love and never think of them again…. of course now I’m very aware each time I disconnect from my emotions not wanting to feel them…. My pattern is so ingrained I have to practice on feeling uncomfortable emotions believe me it’s not fun…. but as least I’m aware of what I’m doing

Thank you so much for this very interesting video. I can listen for hours to you Dr. Grande. The way you educate about mental health problems is superb!!?

I was in complete denial... Until an alter shared what created them- sort of. The memory is incomplete on my end. Still unnerving and upsetting even incomplete - but it did link back to what I recalled from the time. 'Waking up' in a yard, confused and dissociated. But the denial isnt fully gone. DID is so limited information-wise... But what else explains this? Amnesia, 'waking up' despite being like at work a lot and in motion so there is no way I was literally asleep. The personality shifts I have been told of.... Idk. I know the DID youtubers are completely out of bounds. For me, DID is truama-based and parentals are not trusted. (Can never recall the technically term) and while the general idea is the same, they are exaggerated by the RU-vidrs of DID. My "personalities" are vaguely me still. Some are optimistic, pessimistic and rationally in between. The amnesia seems to be more fluid however. The "alters" are simply mood states that have been used multiple times and have created a little pocket of expierences themselves now. But when consciousness switches back to the 'normal programming' i cant recall any of it. Kind of like being black out drunk. Your consciousness is not linked so the memories are not there. Idk. My take on it? I really enjoyed the video thank you!

The pains and migraines suck, also terrible memory amnesia dissociation and insomnia and lethargy :( anxiety

I like your conclusion of DID as more of a mood state rather than different personality. I think we see more mood state (DID) clients due to trauma/stress than what I feel are more extreme circumstances were there are separate personalities.

I know this video is from a little under 3 years ago, but even now it is helping people understand DID, whether they have it or not. I am not diagnosed, because getting diagnosed not only doesnt matter but is incredibly difficult for a lot of people with the stigma surrounding it as well as the believability... As someone who is learning, and experiencing, and suffering on a daily basis... It is so absolutely refreshing to hear someone expressing the FACTS and INFORMATION in a very direct and unbiased way. Thank you for that.

Omgosh! Smh What you shared about this disorder being over dramatized on TV. SO TRUE!!! I mean, it’s so much more basic than people portray in entertainment. And that does make it more difficult for those with DID & their families/friends. I have DID. It took awhile to diagnose it. I had a rough journey & still do at times. I was so very afraid of telling professionals about the man who lived in my head & sometimes overtook me. I knew they’d lock me up forever! When I FINALLY shared this with my psychiatrist he told me it was psychosis & I believed him. Why shouldn’t I trust the professional? He didn’t believe Multiple Personality Disorder (as it was called at that time) was real. He made it clear to me that people do that for attention. I certainly wanted no attention. He put me on antipsychotic medication & for 6 months I got much worse. I can’t express the pain & difficulty in having this disorder. I honestly believe it will remain a controversial discussion until more is understood regarding memory & neurology. Science will catch up, I believe. Organ transplants are teaching us so much about memory. Who knew memory was cellular?! After years of getting nowhere with my symptoms, I started researching on my own. Everything I read & studied brought me to this concept called dissociation which I never heard of. I remember distinctly reading the different dissociative diagnoses & DID being the farthest on the spectrum & said, ‘Thank God I don’t have that!’ Little did I know. . . Things got pretty bad. I could find no therapist that knew how to treat the disorder. I was looking in a college psychology book on my shelf one day & found the 1 & 1/2 pages dedicated to dissociative disorders. I found a spectrum chart & took down the name of the person who made it. Dr. Colin Ross made this & I tracked down his email. He was/is very kind. He sent me information (nothing he has written, which impressed me). The symptoms were fitting. Dr. Ross has worked with me multiple times & I got much better after working through his trauma recovery program. It’s not for the faint of heart. It does take courage to heal. Now, one of the best articles I’ve read by Dr. Ross was about FMS (False Memory Syndrome). It just changed my life as he explains memory & recall. It truly helped me to sort some things out. Having this disorder keeps one riddled with debate. The nature of dissociation being akin to daydreaming & fantasy is really a battle. Think about it. What is fact about my childhood trauma? What is created by my mind about my childhood trauma? Here we see complete opposites at work. But isn’t this the very idea of dissociation? To keep a part of the self believing nothing bad happened while another part needs resolution? It took a long time to really agree with my diagnosis of DID. It was painful. I felt very lost & worried I wouldn’t survive. Now, I had no problem with things being suggested to me by others. I WAS A VICTIM (IN WAYS) TO MY OWN VERY CREATIVE MIND & IT’S SUGGESTIONS. Like I said, there’s a battle between fact & fantasy. I came to the conclusion that what I needed wasn’t by way of recalling & validating traumatic memories. Memory isn’t reliable. That’s not my opinion. Repeated studies show it isn’t. This is why I’m criminal cases eye witnesses are not seen as reliable as they once were. My focus shifted to ‘what are my symptoms & what relief can I find for them?’ My memories as a 4 year old are likely not ‘exact’ as my adult memory has filled in the blanks. The knowledge of a young child is vastly different from that of an adult. Also, I know I was often drugged with LSD. Those memories certainly cannot be trusted. Other traumatic memories have been validated by others so I did experience really bad trauma. My own mother told me how she smothered me as an infant & brought me back to life several times. Bad things happened. I don’t need the details. I simply need closure & resolution to lies I believe about myself & the world & life. THAT is what I look at as I continue healing. CBT helped tremendously. Dr. Ross’ program helped me with the following ‘classes’: CBT DBT How to grieve How to communicate healthily Triggers are our friends Physiology/biology & trauma response Feel your feelings & stay safe I’m sure to many some of that Sounds familiar while others seem odd. I have worked very hard. There are no meds for DID. To integrate takes hard work. I once had 30+ alters & fragments. I only had 3 alters (very distinct, separate personalities) & the rest were smaller fragments usually connected to the alters. I now have 2 alters & 1 fragment. The other alter & fragments have all joined those remaining. I still work with them. We have cooperation. Life is much better! I have always had co-consciousness. Yes, I have amnesia & I am very forgetful. I do believe that amnesia when an alter comes out is known by the rest of the mind on some level. And it was nice to hear that you touched on that. I know this is long but I hope someone benefits from it. I appreciate the information you presented here.

Thank you for this video! I have seen lots of discussion online about this topic but never from a professional view. It’s refreshing to see something backed up with studies and proof even if there is no super clear conclusion from them.

Dear Dr. G a perfect taupe shirt for a difficult topic. It is obvious that you have really devoted yourself to leaving noting to chance. Your research coupled with you ability to explain clearly simply the very difficult is one of the great benefits of your presentations. Thank-you for the clear analysis of what could easily be a very confusing topic. Superbly well done.

I was raised believing that there was something inherently bad about showing signs of this disorder. I remembered crying so often as a child because I couldn't figure out what happened to me and why I didn't feel the same. I remembered things before a certain age as if they were in a book instead of their memory. None of it made sense for decades. I'm trying to unpack it all and avoided it for years. Understanding my broken as not just some dark sea that has been swallowing me my whole life, but as a cloud that protected me from the thing that happened has been mind blowing.

I am a systems analyst, programmer, etc.. I was recently diagnoses with DID. I really really appreciate your analysis of the literature, and looking for plausible explanations. I think the need to perceive things as a spectrum is important (not everyone present same symptoms, based on similar traumatic events). In my case., the experiences i had completely pre-date any conception of having DID. Even when i saw DID in the media, i did not associate myself with it. So Therea re experiences in place, that i look at ,that i cannot say were influenced by a practitioner or therapist, or social media. My alters presented themselves to me, before i had any understanding of what DID was. All my research occurred “AFTER” the alters approached me. And my first experience of Alters talking to me, was at 16… some 30 years ago. I don’t think absolute amnesia is required for DID.. many people with DID reporting internal communication between Alters. I think partial amnesia is more reasonable. You as a individual (discrete human) have partial amensia of your experience of reality with regard to all other humans that know you.. SOme have shared experiences, others have independence of experience (thoughts, memory storage, memory recall). The psychosomatic aspects that occur when some alters forward is… impossible for me to fake (I’m on autism spectrum, me faking anything is soooooo obvious and exgerated, I’m a terrible actor). I also have aphantaisa (can’t visualize to save my life). So when i have internal conversations with other alters, it really really really does not feel like myself as I understand it. My alters have names that … god., i would never choose that.. and personalities.. yeah.. not to my taste or style. I think the psychosomatic aspects that surface with regard to some trauma holder alters is what is the lynch pin for me.. the non-linearity of it (they come forward, I can’t think or process normal things, they go., I’m 150 IQ again). There is something going on that is not a deliberate construct. Maybe some aspects of the definition and delineation of what DID is (given i think its a spectrum) might not be right, but in my instance i do not see this as a construct influenced by social contagion/rewards… … In my case, I’m also transgender / non-binary / gender fluid.. and the whole transitioning started for me by (in reflection), one of my alters demand i start wearing skirts, and then taking hormones. I really couldn’t understand it… but as i don’t care what gender i am, i just went with it. - Trauma??? 1 month premature, around a month in a humidicrib around 1976… 24/7 lighting in the hostpial, no human contact, and frequent cuts to sole of feet for blood sample.. plus my entire childhood schooling K to Year 12 with severe social rejection. Trauama seems to b ea thing.

Stress---> dissociation---> mood states... Wow, click! Thank You, Dr. Grande.

Thank you for your honest video. I am a psych student and I'm writing about this disorder for one of my classes. I've experienced all kinds of trauma and dissociation was the exit from reality. I remember consciously telling myself as a kid, "I am not here" over and over again. My brain got the message. I began floating through my world only being jolted back to reality when there was emotional and physical pain. I had to find the best part of myself that could successfully adapt and handle my circumstances. I still struggle to connect with my surroundings. I try to ground myself but sometimes it feels as though there is a part of me pulling me away or blocking me from reality.

Thank you so much for uploading this video and helping to bring more information to the public about people, like us, who have DID. 🙌🏻

Thank you very, very much for your pursuit of accuracy when diagnosing someone with DID. It is a very complicated and misunderstood condition because there are so many variables that present in individuals and even exist in research which lead to misinterpretation. I'm very glad depersonalization and derealization exist as branches of dissociative disorders. And I am in complete agreement that childhood trauma is what kick-starts the need to protect oneself so he/she can continue to function in the real world with some sense of authenticity. I'm not a clinician; I'm a patient, and probably will be one the rest of my life. I've been misdiagnosed with DID. I don't have alters and never have. My depersonalization was very real and active when I was younger, not so much anymore. However, in extremely stressful situations, that removal from reality draws me to it, again as a source of protecting myself from the threat of harm that arises internally. I'm in my late 60s and after 11 years of professional counseling, which went from PTSD to DID, I have a fairly good grasp of what's going on. It took me many, many years to accept the fact that this condition very well may have saved my life and is something I should embrace with gratitude. I do now, and I see it as a blessing. Thank you, too, for all the fine videos you post. You communicate so well these issues that are hard to understand without someone as articulate as you addressing them.

Thank you Dr Grande you've explained it so well. I am learning more of why I act the way I do and always thought the cause was childhood trauma, like when someone stomps on a beautiful flower that's just growing and never got the chance to blossom to it's full potential that's the way I feel.

Yea in my case it's an unspecified dissociative disorder. States become altered under stress. Negative or traumatic events and emotions bring out the switch.

I am so glad you made this. I have been working on a story involving DID and this has really positively changed how to approach it.

I personally don't want to deal with all of the controversy related to mental illness and I choose to live my life with all of my uniqueness without all the drama :) Yes, I hear voices and have many personalities but that's what makes me an 'individual' and that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. No disrespect to anyone who chooses to see a shrink or take meds; this is just how I live my life. I enjoyed watching this video because it just solidifies the reasoning behind my decisions to be happy in my life; I am different.... and I am grateful for it.

Complex trauma causes DID. Lift the statute of limitations that protects the child abusers.

Thank you so very, very much for your video! I am so glad that it was in my recommended section. Listening to your thoughts about this, has really helped me with what I am going through, it has helped me feel less alone. I have a good psychiatrist, I am diagnosed with very severe and complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I also have BPD, and some other diagnoses. I have these symptoms that I don't really understand, that I am a passenger to myself, but it isn't like a distinct personality, but a fragment of sorts, that happens when I am stressed, scared. When I ask him about it, he will share with me that it is a kind of dissociation, that he thinks might be a result of the traumas I've been through in my past. But interestingly dissociative symptoms like these he won't diagnose, and I soon realized other doctors are hesitant too. Your video explained and cleared up so much for me. I really appreciate that you made this. All the best to you.

Nancy McWilliams describes personalities in her book about psychoanalytic diagnostics and includes "dissociative personality" as a personality with dissociation as a primal defense mechanism. I would like to see DID as a diagnosis gone, and replaced with dissociative personality disorder in various degrees of severity just like any other personality/-disorder. I myself suffer from some kind of dissociative problems and been wrongly diagnosed so many times and had my already weak sense of self totally crushed in the process. I am nothing but a body and confused mind in the now, with slight awareness of a past that might have been difficult... Who knows might just all be in my head lol

"We really don't know the truth...we have a lot of evidence that points in different directions." Thank you for admitting that...I respect you for having said that.

I have a very close friend with DID, and have come to know others with DID through the internet. I think in most cases there is clear evidence of DID in the person's life prior to the start of therapy, such as lost time, "coming to" in foreign places, an apparently very poor memory, unexplained possessions, different handwriting, and so on. It would be nice to see a research paper that attempts to quantify how often such evidence was apparent prior to therapy, as that would help to disprove the iatrogenic model as a major cause of DID.

Another great video as usual. If there has been any research done on rates of suicidal idealization and attempts among the different personality disorders, I think that would make for a great video.

Good Afternoon, Dr. Grande. I really appreciated this excerpt and the quantitative and qualitative distinctions. As I listened to your presentation today, I must tell you I am the ideal case study. As a layman, I have invested approximately 25 years "writing the answers down" for the questions that could and would be unfolding in present day as clinicians start to build a "construct" for treatment. The questions you have formulated around the construct are all on point. You have 90 percent of the puzzle pieces. And those pieces are all still separate in your puzzle box over there on the clinician side. If you could have access to a clinical case study and be able to break ground, this is the key that opens the door, so that the puzzle pieces can be put together.

Your dedication to correct information and easy to follow summaries is amazing. I'm certain many followers would love for you to expand on the topic of DID - without mentioning controversy yet again. Maybe theories about; how splitting occurs, how can you lower the barriers of amnesia? Why do child alters not age properly? How do you handle competing beliefs between alters? Do comorbitities such as bipolar affect every alter? How do you work towards fusing alters into a single identity when each identity has different memories/personality/brain function? Can fusion actually happen? I'm losing faith fusion actually exists. Would appreciate. Thank you.

Love Dr. Grande. Keep pushing out quality scientific analysis!

I have a friend with DID. I don't know how the details work, and it's not unlikely that it may be different for different people. I do know that it's tough, and that it's also hard for the people around to understand. The closest thing in my experience is dementia, where there are things (memories and skills etc) in the individual that are not always accessible to him or her, but they can become accessible. Something that is also apparent in my limited experience is a constant underlying stress.

Thank you for including the bibliography in the description. Much appreciated!😊

Thank you for this video! I think my husband could have it, but I do not want to jump to conclusions, and I don't want him to start thinking he has it until these speculations are clarified with a psychiatrist, as it could do a lot of damage to self-diagnose such a difficult illness.

I absolutely love the way you ended this video. What you said about mood states is ultimately how I've felt about DID for a long time. It's almost more like the reccuring altered moods are shattered aspects of personality instead of entire different personalities.

I want to highlight the area in your argument with the greatest potential for further understanding to help resolve the matter... What symptoms exactly would a practitioner see that would point to DID? Because when a client's presentation is all you have to go on, then you would need to know the indicators. I propose that many practitioners don't know what to look for, or what kind of questions to ask in order to 'see' DID in clients. And furthermore, speaking from experience, they are likely to be 'seeing' mostly one main presenting alter who would look like a fairly cohesive person. I suggest that much more training or insight would be needed to enable professionals to notice possible signs of DID and to then ask appropriate questions which aren't suggestive. Not so long ago I talked with an intern psychologist that I was seeing about this because I understand myself as DID but don't have a formal diagnosis. She said that it's rare and obvious. I propose that it's not so rare and very not obvious. The goal of some (at least) DID systems is to create the impression of a normal functioning person - to "look okay" on the outside. I first started getting treatment for major depression and ED-NOS. Now also have diagnosis of ADHD.

Dr. Grande's videos make me want to pursue formal education in psychology!!!!!! Thank you, Dr. Grande.

Thank you for a rational and reasoned discussion of this controversial topic.

I have been a support person for someone with DID for 2 1/2 years. I am not a counselor or therapist. The cause is childhood trauma. I don't know what I believed before I met her. She has multiple alters each with their own version of reality. It terrifies her when they come out because they say and do things that aren't always loving. She feels like she has no control of her life. She feels like she is a burden to me and I feel like we are continuously walking a tightrope with her sanity and with her life. There have been many days I've literally dragged her back from some really dark places. It isn't anything I'd wish on my worst enemy. Trying to get help and legitimate treatment for her is incredibly hard. I ask for information from experts such as yourself and and they run away fast. Thanks for your candid and non-biased submission.

My therapist has recently started teaching me grounding techniques in the belief that I am "dissociating". I went along with it, because she didn't really define what she meant by that term. I'm here trying to learn more about dissociation. The more I hear about it the more skeptical I get. First off, I have no trauma history that I'm aware of. I do avoid confrontation, I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder w/ depression in the past, but this dissociation thing. . . . I don't believe that I have any of the amnesia symptoms, nor have I ever blacked out or such. Wife and I watched a couple of different RU-vid's on the subject and just sort of wondered how my therapist came up with this. . . . Therapist has been trained in EMDR and that seems to be an interest area of hers. Seems to me that it's more of the situation where "when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail"? How do you convince someone you're *not* dissociating?

this is a great video that discussed the controversy surrounding DID. Thank you so much Dr. Grande!

Good video. I've thought my mother had PTSD because of my father. This kind of solidifies that idea. She would block out/dissociate from actual occurrences and had absolutely no recall.

I knew someone that had localized amnesia dissociation. She dissociated at age 4 and that went on for over 3 decades. Physically she was present but her mind was absent. That is a weird state of mind to be in. She was and wasn't there at the same time. Her emotions, logic, perception, reasoning, and basically her entire thought process was absent. They were locked away within herself. That crossed over into relationships, school, work, or anything she wanted to do. It was quite distressing being in that state of mind too. I didn't know what it was that was holding her back from excelling. She didn't know who she was. She knew her name, age, and family members, some of her autobiographical information too. She knew these things before she dissociated. This occurred over a trauma, not of physical abuse, however, one of mental abuse by her older sisters. From all I've read and studied, I'm not diagnosing anyone, but I have a strong belief that her sisters are narcissists and meet all of the narcissistic criteria I've studied and read over the years. She came out of this state of mind all by herself. She did see a professional over this and he explained to her that she dissociated after hearing her say she left when she was 4 and came back after a very long time. He did let her know that emotions are a big part of being dissociated. She is a normal person today. She has arrived and knows who she is. She did write a book over her experience with this dreadful mental disability. I'd really like to see a segment on localized amnesia dissociation. She had to remember the trauma her sisters brought to her when she was only 4. They are awful too. In every sense of that word.

I know someone with this, neither of us recognized it for over 20 years, until he had to go to therapy. It explains so much. The "lost" keys, wallet. The change in where they slept. Sometimes nice, sometimes really mean. A woman affect occasionally. Forgetting conversations.

Dr. Grande, I was diagnosed with MDD at age 20, and early in the disorder (during my first "episode" which lasted nearly 1 year) I had at least 2 dissociative experiences. However I never felt any alternate personality whatsoever. These experiences lasted maybe 20-30 seconds at the most, and I felt like they occurred when my thoughts were overwhelming me and acute extreme stress, a feeling that I had no control over anything. It was like I suddenly didn't know who I was or where I was, and I felt myself actually leaving my physical body a few feet from where I was sitting (I was in a university lecture at the time of the most significant dissociative experience i had during that first episode of MDD). It scared the hell out of me and suddenly I was back into my body and experiencing the mental stress and symptoms again. I was truly worried I was losing myself and my mind. So I talked with the psychotherapist about it at my next appointment. He explained to me that it can occur in MDD cases and if it becomes worse, I need to let him know. It never became longer or worse up until now (25 years later), but it was the single most terrifying event I've ever experienced.

Good to see the sources you are quoting are fairly recent. The older the data, the more at odds it often is with current understanding :))

We got diagnosed with did this year, after 11 years of psychotherapy that never really seemed to adress the core of the Problem. After only one year of working with it as if it was real, we're no longer suicidal every day and got a lot better overall. At this point I really don't care about objective truth, I'm just grateful we got a diagnosis that finally helped us to move forward

i have seen quite a number of RU-vid vids with people who have DID. and before YT, i would read about it. I don't understand how people can say there is no such thing as DID when there are changes in handwriting or eyesight? you really can't fake handwriting, can you?! i agree totally with your own theoretical thoughts which you summarized at the end, especially after hearing all the various theories you talked about. the iatrogenic theory is something i have heard of before, but it was sort of vague.. thanks much again :}

Though I didn't know what was going on, as a child, adolescent and then an adult, I knew there was something different and learned not to tell about it because I instinctively knew it wasn't good to share it. I had to pretend I remembered things I didn't. I became very good at this. It was horrifying when someone I didn't know would come up to me and know things about me INTIMATE AND PRIVATE that I would never tell. There are no words for what impact this had on me. No clinician EVER convinced me. Although silly and overly dramatic, when I saw a movie depicting this, I both became terribly agitated but relieved because I finally understood. I didn't tell. It took a long time to finally tell a clinician. My experience is that over seeing different clinicians, some believed and actually helped. The most destructive were the ones that didn't believe me. I learned to lie which was hard to do. I don't like to lie. Call in "sick" to work or to professors made me feel dirty, but it was necessary. I couldn't look myself in the eyes in a mirror. Too often I didn't recognize myself. I don't like anyone knowing. It's difficult enough without the added feeling of being under a microscope or the fascination of others. I want to be normal, but after over 30 years of clinicians, I know there is no true treatment except anti depressants and help sleeping. I write this now in a public forum in the hope that some understanding of this by others may convince them of the reality of DID so no one like me suffers additionally from denial from the mental health workers. It's not fun. It's painful and the suicidal ideation is exhausting to keep at bay. May others know malingering damages the integrity of myself and others like me. I hope someday there will be a successful treatment found. Most of us hide in the shadows with it.

Loved this video, very insightful and informative. I would really appreciate it if some professionals in the field would share their opinions about all those DID-centered channels, but at the same time I do realise that you (and other professionals) would probably consider it unethical (although I feel like if you made a clear disclaimer about it being purely your personal opinion it should be ok), so I understand why people don't really talk about it. But I feel like those channels really shape public opinions/education about DID so it would be useful to know just how typical their experiences are. Especially because all DID channels that I have seen were fairly similar in their experiences: they seem to be able to switch between the alters willingly, all of their alters have very clearly determined different genders/ages/names/roles/etc. So I feel like professional evaluation of those symptoms could be very educational for the viewers; but yeah I realise it's unlikely to happen. Thanks for the video again.

I have this condition. I don't think that it was caused by therapy. I was kept isolated from mental health professionals to keep the abuse hidden. My family didn't want me anymore, once they found out that I was this different. It wouldn't have been socially advantageous for me say that I have this condition. My brother told me to go away. My father told me that my brother didn't want to be around me because I was, "so bazaar" . My mother laughed at me, told me that she was afraid of me. She wouldn't stay in the same room with me after that. If I hugged her, she wouldn't hug me back. My parents are the cause of my condition. They did this to me and now they don't want me anymore. I have found, if I am particularly distressed, I can ask another identity to take over for me or at least assist me. What was done to me that made me this way was a tragedy. The fact that I am this was isn't. My alters provide me with a lot of the Things that I went with out, while I was growing up. I can spend long periods of time alone with out feeling lonely and I always feel loved, now. My parents can't take that from me anymore. I can tell that at least three of my 13 personalities were caused by my dad. Two are terrified of him and one absolutely hates him. I can tell that at least one of them is caused by my mother. There is very little that hasn't been done to me or in front of me. Sometimes I have complete amnesia with knowing about it and a friend will tell me about encounters that I don't remember. She said that I turned into another person, but I am told that they aside from not being me, that they act reasonably. I stay myself most of the time, now, but I can trust them to take care of my life, while I am not myself. Once I let them know which actions hurt me and I need to do to protect myself, they have been committed to that goal. All the alternate identities that I share this body with are here for a reason and I wouldn't get rid of or change any of them. Each one is precious and beautiful to me.

Very informative!!! I have a freind who is dealing with this in a relationship… its a tuff situation for sure!! Wish we knew more but thatnkful for what we do know!

Really informative video , thank you! My sister recently got diagnosed with DID and started therapy. I can tell for sure that our family environment was highly dysfunctional and threatening, we were both emotionally neglected and our father's rage outbreaks towards everyone were traumatic. We were never allowed to express what we were feeling , we were taught to feel guilt for our emotions. Our parents would never spend time with us, we felt more like objects than children. I don't know what I feel for my parents now. Maybe genetic factors interacting with the dysfunctionality of early family environment cause DID. Can DID be fully cured through therapy? Thank you.

I was very recently diagnosed. At first I did not understand where it would have come from as a trauma-related disorder, as I believed that I had not experienced "trauma" in my early childhood, or really at all for that matter. To me, trauma was only prolonged physical or sexual abuse. Accepting our experiences as trauma made a huge difference and explained a lot about the way we've lived our collective life thus far.

As someone operating professionally within the "gravitational field" of mental health (if not exactly in its orbit, and intentionally out of the pull of Planet Clinical Licensure 😏) for a few decades, I find the "DSM dissection debates" both interesting and amusing -- the effort to catalogue scientifically the breadth of human brokenness for purposes of facilitating healing strikes me as equal parts hero's journey and fool's errand, I suppose! 😅 I appreciate both your unusual effort and uncanny ability to hold several aspects of this very complex (and very personal) client experience (DID) at once. So, more hero than fool, I think -- good on you! [I appreciate my freedom to describe rather than diagnose, as it allows me to invite clients' health in unique ways -- including referral to appropriate clinicians & practitioners of many types.] As you have mentioned elsewhere, mental health (like other health, I would add) manifests along a continuum -- there's no toggle switch for crazy/sane. (I suppose by extension, the only "switch" we can truly anticipate for physical health -- at least in the short term 😏 -- is alive/dead!)

This was an awesome video. Very thorough. I have DID and I definitely experience it as a kind of mode shifting (not really “mood” shifting as much as functions, but also moods at times). I don’t have personalities with different hair styles and stuff. Some parts feel to be certain ages, certain genders, with distinguished voices, and distinguished hand writings, and I feel distinctly like that alter when I am as that alter. Still.I feel like I am just like everyone else except that my parts of who I am just go a little further distinguished? I don’t know. I definitely experience a child side of myself, for example, that just kind of interweaves within my normal or “primary” identity. But I also experience times when this child type, for example, combines with a dissociative state, during which my motor skills slow down and I am often very confused and I have to think extra hard to remember things or where I am or who my boyfriend is when I’m looking at him, etc. And I feel distinctly like I am a child who is not “Sherry.” My voice, demeanor and sense of self changes. I do have names for certain “identities” but they just kind of picked their names (which was probably mostly influenced as I learned about the diagnosis??). Chrissy had a name before then but... I don’t know, it’s very confusing. As someone who definitely warrants my did diagnosis, I OFTEN wonder how much of it I created. Still, my dissociative identity states do feel like separate parts or “persons” and I can’t just switch at will and I havent been able to figure out how to keep myself from switching or how to just bring “myself” back. I definitely have memory problems but I have found that the memories seem to be there across identities it just takes a lot of digging to get at them. There is definite co-consciousness with my identities, and lots of talking amongst them (but does not everyone have talkative “parts” in their brains!? I think it’s similar at least!) I don’t know. I get very very frustrated when therapists have insisted that I experienced childhood trauma that I have blacked out because I have did therefore it’s certain. Therapists have literally said these types of things and I think it lead me to craft my personal story about what must have happened. I don’t think it is probable that I was sexually abused. I think people convinced me that I was and I filled in the gaps with my imagination. I’m not certain, but that’s what my gut feels. Lots of questions as a person with did. I see these real life people describing their did online and I feel like, hm... they really have a lot of descriptive details about each of their alters... I feel like I have 22 alters, but most of them are just like ghosts in my head (not real ghosts). I don’t know. I think I’m very creative and easily may have developed did myself as a way to cope/disconnect from stuff. I recall recognizing what I later learned was derealization when I was about 8 years old. And soon after I started thinking, hey, I feel numb when I do this. So I started intentionally practicing dissociating (derealization and depersonalization) in order to escape uncomfortable stuff such as autistic meltdowns/anxiety/embarrassment etc. Eventually I just found that I couldn’t control it anymore? It’s been running wild ever since!! Chrissy started to develop around age 13 and I named her at age 16 or so. But she was my first distinct alter and she totally could have been a creative manifestation. I don’t know for sure how my did came to be, but I definitely believe, it’s a real thing in my life now.

Hi. Thank you for the well balanced and well crafted analysis on this important topic. I really like your point of DID termed as supernatural in different cultures. I know someone who suffer from it and also have ADD. People these days only like glamour and making money. Hollywood is hugely responsible for using these important disorders of the brain to make money and present movies with lots of loop holes on this. However I agree with your opinion the DID does exist and mostly this disorder occurs in people who look quite normal and can manage basic functions of their lives but inside them they are suffering from volcanoes of pain. Lots of successful historical figures were assumed to have DID. So for people with this disorder there is great hope.

Thank you for this video Dr. Grande. As I have been doing some self reflection and internal work in healing from past traumas myself, I have become very interested in this disorder. I don't believe that I have this disorder, though I can relate to certain aspects of it. I have always referred to my different "moods" or "states of mind", which has often frustrated me as it makes it difficult to be a person with a consistent personality. In researching this topic, it seems that people experience some sort of dissociation on a spectrum from mild to severe. As you mentioned, social media has played a big role in DID awareness as well as connecting people who share similar symptoms. I am wondering though, if some people start to compartmentalize these different "moods" and start to create an alter with it's own identity. Could this potentially lead to people tricking their mind and accidentally creating more severe dissociation? Or, convincing themselves that they have DID? I can see this being a big concern for people self diagnosing, misdiagnosing AND spreading innacurate information.

I have been associated with at least two people,very close to me,in the course of 30 plus years who I feel, have demonstrated this( I feel one has BPD ,the other NPD )and yes I have seen the DID on various occasion though I did not know what to do about it,it was clear to me,💪🏽👍🏽🌈👏🏽Thanks.

Had a girlfriend diagnosed with it 30 years ago but never had a really good explanation for it. I suspected something like "simulation" but I am not a psychologist. I thought this was a way for her to disown behavior that she didn't want to acknowledge. TY ♥

As someone who's just about out of CPTSD from childhood violence (CBT, and had 2 retriggerings) your description of DID speaks accurate for me. I've had very little pharmaceuticals throughout and kept very quite for shame, safety etc. I agree the DID part doesn't feel like a personality disorder, I wouldn't use those 2 words to describe it. More closer to a mood yea, I would describe as a tempory state. DPDR feels more visual spatial and I've noticed that onset seldomly from exhaustion from being in a consistent higher state of stress where as the "DID" feels more like a weaker version of the memory loss and dissociation that happens at the time of injury, from what i've found noticeably happens in Preparation for potential triggering or stressful events. My emotions just numb out and i'm more detached from people and enviroment, noticeably more acute, only lasts for a day or 2 though. I wouldn't consider DID as a "disorder" like CPTSD is in how constant it is. More like a safety mechanism and a tempory state from my experience. Thanks for the upload.

You fill in the gaps from my sadly lacking grad school-which shall remained unnamed.

Dr. Grande, these are complex concepts to digest w/o full knowledge of the pathologies referenced. I’m grateful for your breakdown but had to go @ .75 speed 👍😹🙌 very interesting! I learned so much and will look at the literature around DID. 🎉 thanks so much for your objectivity & clearing things up!

I was diagnosed with D.I.D over 20 years ago and I can tell you that no one ever told me that they thought I had this, in a way of trying to make me think that I had something I didn’t have or didn’t think I had. I knew very little to nothing about it until after I was diagnosed with it and was told a little bit about it in counseling. Most of it I had to go research it and study it, to learn more about it. However, that didn’t tell me much more than what I already knew of it, due to living with it. About two years before I was diagnosed with it, I saw a short documentary on M.P.D. (Multiple personality disorder), as it was called then. In the documentary, I felt as though they had written a documentary about me and about my life. That’s when I wondered if I had this disorder and I realized that it wasn’t normal for everyone to have these “other people”, in their head. That being said, by the time I was actually diagnosed with it, I had pretty much forgotten about the documentary that I’d seen on HBO. I was admitted into the hospital due to trying to kill myself, twice in about a months time. The second time my cousin found me laying in my own blood in my bathroom. Had she not come into my house when she did, I wouldn’t be here today. Anyway, I appreciate how you did the research to come to your own conclusion on whether or not you believe that D.I.D exists. I am living proof that it does. As are many other people across the globe. There is a British woman who has it and she has a RU-vid channel. On her channel, she explains what living with D.I.D., is like. As well as her alters come out and talk on her show, sometimes. I think she really has it and I think she does a good job at relaying what it’s like to live with it. My diagnosis came because of things my family members, as well as things that I told my psychiatrist about. My family members witnessed my personality changes and they were aware of things that they were involved in, with me. Things that sometimes I would remember (that’s when they were talking to the alter who experienced those things, with them). But they also witnessed me being very confused about some event that happened, that I had no memory of, whatsoever. That was when they were talking to “me”, the main person who lives in my mind. Those two things, the accounts of my family members and some things that I told my psychiatrist, is what determined that I do, in fact, have D.I.D. I didn’t know for several years, that there were times when a psychiatrist or therapist would try to make someone think they had this disorder, when they didn’t have it. I never would have ever thought that someone would do that. Thank you again for bringing light to this disorder and I’m relieved to hear that you do, in fact, believe that it is real. I would have been so upset and disappointed if I had learned that you didn’t believe that it’s a real disorder. I have a lot of respect for you and I enjoy and learn a lot from your RU-vid videos. That it would have devastated me to find out that you didn’t believe it was real. I’m so glad to know that you don’t think that we’re all living a lie. Thank you

My partner just received this DX and this explanation is incredibly informative. When his mood shifts, there’s no reasoning with him. I’m trying to get educated and my first instinct is always to see what the respected Dr. Grande has to say. Scary living with a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Education is the key to staying safe.

This was fascinating and answered the question of why is there a controversy for this diagnosis

A balanced analysis--much appreciated!

I have a dissociative identity disorder So I am thankful to have you talking about this I have bipolar disorder to

So, in reference to your comments closer to the end, i have multiple emotional states in which reoccur, though mine our often triggered by stress or weather or social settings or even general air pressure. I've had people define various states of mine, such as happy or horny or angry, as completely variant of norms. So much so that I was given nicknames for each one. But I find this much more closely linked, by studying literature around these, to a bpd problem than a did problem. What's your thoughts based on that alone at least?

Hi Dr Grande, great video! I'm a psychology student, currently doing research in developmental psychopathology but I haven't done much research into the literature of DID, so I found your summary of the literature to be extremely informative. In particular, the idea you proposed about dissociation leading to different mood states makes quite a lot of sense. I was wondering if you could expand your thoughts on this a little further? Most of the knowledge I have on DID has come from individuals with DID talking about their personal experiences, so I do take it with a grain of salt, however all the individuals I have seen speak about their DID (i.e., The Entropy System, Multiplicity and Me, Dissociadid, a personal friend of mine) all report distinct personalities even to the point where they have different names, physical appearances, ages etc. Do you think there is a distinction between this state of the appearance of various mood states and the formation of separate identities, or do you think perhaps a prolonged experience of a particular mood state may lead to this "mood" becoming an "identity"? For example, if a traumatic experienc is frequently occuring throghout childhood and resulting in a particular mood state, do you think the fact that a single mood state has consistently occured could result it in becoming an identity, through whatever means it may be. I'm not entirely sure this makes sense, it's late in Australia at the moment and I wanted to throw some thoughts on this down while I remembered. I think the general concept I'm wanting to hear your thoughts on is do you think perhaps the differentation between these mood states you mentioned and specific identities may be more of a continuum than a specific distinction between the two? Another question I just thought of along the same lines - The individuals with DID I mentioned earlier have said they have had new identities occur across their lifetime, oftenin response to stressful situations. How do you think this could fit in with this suggestion of DID being a disorder of different mood states than necessarily identities (at least in some casses)? Best wishes, Courtney

The brain initially dissociated to protect the person who was being abused because they could not fight, freeze, or flee. There is nothing awesome about this disorder and I do not understand why people think it is being faked by those who are suffering. There is stigma in not only society but also among clinicians which is sad for those that need support.

I think this subject fascinating, as I think my fiancée had DID when I met her for quite some time, even though it stopped when her abusive environnement was not here anymore. I don't know really if you spoke about the idea of treating DID (I had quite a hard time understanding sometimes due to not being a native so I hope I heard most correctly), I have read somewhere that it can't be really treated, which seem surprising to me because even if there are no scientific basis in this idea I really believe she had it. On my experience with it, it was mostly due to a very dysfunctional family and her feeling abandoned and alone, which cause her to have these personality states as a way to not feel too alone and protect herself from the moral abuse in her family. I would think that the subject is complex and I truly understand why there is controversy. I did not believed her for quite some time, what really was surprising and convince me was the fact that memory was different (even if not a complete amnesia, I would say partial), there was some self-conflict that harmed her where clearly it felt like a part of her traumatic experience was in some of these personality states, and it was a way to protect herself while putting her traumas on a personality state that was not there most of the time. I don't think the idea of "multiple personalities" and how the media portray it is true at all on my experience, she was clearly more one person divided than multiple "people" in one body as the media often present it. You said that it could be mood states, and I would say it was partly true as each of her personality states was linked to emotions, even if I truly think it was in her case a dissociative identity. One thing that really surprised me was that of course her way of speaking and general behavior was different but also something like her handwriting was different for each personality states. I have read some literature on the subject but not enough and so I will continue to do so to have a better understanding. On the topic of faking it, one thing that will surprise me is the fact that I see in her situation no advantages whatsoever, her personality states where not really that different from each other, so because she tried to hide it to protect herself I was the only one that knew about DID as she feared she would face stigma if it was known. It was also surprising because in some way she was conscious to DID but also at the same time not really, as if she thought everyone had this experience but she shouldn't have spoke about it, as sort of a taboo. On the topic of amnesia, I would say it is the exact contrary that I've seen with her, she felt like her memory was complete, and except if I made her notice that something was forgotten she did not realize. As said in the video, she also has (and have) a lot of I would say, due to stigma and fear of health professional it is recent that she tried to try and go to them. She had suicidal behavior, self harm, eating disorder, anxiety and depression, we suspect that borderline personality disorder is totally possible, but I stated only those who had already been diagnosed by a profesionnal as it is I think to early really to state a diagnose on BPD. I would say that I agree that scepticism is healthy in a mental health environnement and even now, even if I truly believe she had DID, I think it could also be other mental issues that could cause that, I think I have a hard time believing that due to this idea of multiple personality states that seems correct with my personal experience, even if not scientific at all.

For me, I am not diagnosed. It has been noticed and it says in my files that I have identity states, however I can definitely say that it is extremely different then what the DSM makes it out to be. For me, I can go between. I can feel it, I’m panicking, idk what is going on, and a blank-out with very little information when I return. But the memories are still there but hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Then there’s when I don’t realise it is happening and someone catches it because I am almost dissociated from my own dissociation. To be honest, I have been told that I do stop responding properly when dissociating, I can’t hear, I can’t see, I have a massive headache. (Including just an overwhelming pile of emotion that makes me feel so upset, I want to die.) That does include recognition too, and transferring of memories ending up in places they shouldn’t be. It’s a nightmare, I have got raped while in that state. However, it’s still so unbelievable and I feel like it all never happened but it did. Confusing asf

Can you please approach DIDNOS as a topic? I feel as if I can’t find almost any videos detailing how this is different from both multiple personalities and DID... I dissociate 24/7 but do not have any alters and am struggling to find resources... I appreciate what you do, thanks for educating

I believe I have some kind of dissociative disorder, something like DID but NOT DID. I have heard of a disorder called OSDD-1 that sounds more like what I experience but there is very limited information out there. Would you or have you done a video on this OSDD classification? I find the videos I've watched so far to be interesting and informative; so thanks for sharing you experience and knowledge!

Very interesting topic. And I think, I share your opinion. I would imagine, that especially sexual abuse would trigger a tendency to disassociate, and that it would take a good therapist, not to reinforce this tendency.

Thank you so much for your reseach. Also you expertise on the subject.

My alters are there because of trauma. I didnt realise i had the disorder until I went to a dissociative specialist. I was going there for trauma I knew about and the fact I was always dissociated (still am) and I didn't want it but I figure I'd had depersonalisation disorder my entire life and just ignored it because the world being a dream is my normal everyday. I couldn't explain not remembering things I'd apparently said. I was buying things and coming home low key freaking out because I'd have something or a few things quite specific that I never consciously bought- one of them I told myself I DIDNT need. Somehow it was in my bag when I get home. The moods being lifted off me, from almost in crisis to perfectly fine in one minute- literally like someone else had experienced it. Voices in my head talking amongst themselves more. Started getting flashbacks- I still didn't know it was DID. Down the track it's confirmed. I already can confirm its repressed things in me that would have broke me if I was younger and aware of what was happening. I walked in wanting help for my trauma with no comprehensive understanding of what DID was and how it presented. I now know it is DID. Do I want it? Absolutely not. I'm glad my brain protected me, but ultimately it was creates because I was traumatised extensively. I am coping better though and I look forward to healing, as hard as it's going to be.

i understand now your thoughts on DID. i did not know there were the two explanations. the traumatic cause i’ve seen documentaries on and they certainly feel/seem very real. and you accept these, also, i’m glad to hear about this from you . i have to look up the iogenic cause. that’s what happened with “Sybil”, right? (but can’t any non-psychopathy be iogenic? probably medical diseases can be iogenic, as well as self-induced.) i wish i could read some of the professional research, but you have to be a psychiatrist or professional counselor to get hold of those. i really find DID (as well as other disorders) fascinating. this is a really informative and well organized talk on this subject. really enjoyed it! Thanks much - and be well :) 🌷🌿🌼🌱🌷🌵

I’ve been questioning whether I did have trauma, but then I remember one of our littles who was formed specifically to take abuse, she still hates my parents bc the only interactions she’s had with them have been abusive Our parents are pretty good, they’ve legitimately gotten better and I think that they still gave us a pretty good childhood

I’ve been diagnosed for several years now. I always knew there’s something about my inside but I kept it hidden because I was trying to survive and build a life for myself as I became an adult. Just like any mental health diagnosis, each individual patient experiences symptoms differently, same goes with people with DID. I do experience total to partial amnesia from time to time and my symptoms worsen during stressful times. People can experience different moods but they don’t experience different parts talking among each other, arguing, agreeing and disagreeing all the time! Growing up, I thought this is normal for everyone. I don’t want to switch to my much younger self but it happens whenever I watch a kitten video on RU-vid or I pass by stuffed animals in a supermarket. I have to act to be an adult to avoid people’s attention. I’ve disabilities including severe joint issues with pain. Yet, somehow, I managed to carry an antique dresser from the curb, loaded in my car, carried it to my house and dragged it upstairs in my daughter’s room. I don’t know how I did it, but I did it! My physical abilities change at times for a short time and my body pays the price later :) My one “sexy” part took such photos over time I’m so upset and embarrassed about and I really can’t believe I would do such thing! One part is an artist who created beautiful paintings yet, I can’t paint such! I’m still trying to accept my condition and am trying to feel positive about it. I need my alone time everyday to ground myself and understand and process. My 2 children are my greatest supporters who accept their mother as she’s. I learn a lot about my parts from them too, especially the younger parts. My old journals, notes, drawings all help me discover my other parts. My closet even has some men’s clothes apparently belong to me.

I think the difference between patient reported amnesia, and the amnesia measured in DID, it's because we can communicate and listen to alters. We might not remember what they did, but they do and sometimes can easily tell us. Other times, that's not so easy (or they'll refuse if it's traumatic), and it's when those difficulties happen that we experience trouble with memories. So, it's not something that reliably happens all the time in order to be measured and replicated, but happens often enough and is pervasive enough to be a major problem in your life. Also, stress makes this communication worse, such as dealing something in daily life. Laboratory questionairies are very safe and controlled environments for most people. We can easily chat with other alters in a medical office, it's much harder in the midst of something stressful.

In my opinion some of the disagreements or belief or not is more harmful to people with different conditions. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I personally prefer to help others rather than not. Hope this makes sense. Thanks Dr. Grande.

I like when you say that the symptoms do exist. I think I read somewhere that part of the controversy was about the "false memories" thing when a rapist was accused and he claimed that the DID patient had "false memories" installed by his therapist.

The problem is that I have all of the symptoms and all of these problems, but I recognized it myself therefore I can’t be struggling with this. Every single mental health professional in my life has just disregarded me so.

Totally caused by trauma. As someone with DID ours was caused but physical and emotional abuse and neglect from as early as we can remember til we moved out at 18. Some of us remember some dont. I dont remember the majority of my childhood, jaynie remembers a super happy childhood but only the times we were at my grandparents nothing at home, raya has managed to explain to us but hasnt yet learned to show us but she remembers our home life growing up and being abused and terrified all the time. She holds all the trauma memories because she was there up front and we were not. U dont understand how anyone can have just one inner voice thats just their own it would feel so lonely and weird to not be able to go over plans or get the others thoughts on stuff. Everyone says integrations the end goal for us thats so scary. Like what if someone attacks us? Who would deal with that if Raya wasnt around? What if we have to do public speaking or go to a social event? That's Jaynies thing. I'm the one who goes to work usually what would we do if i disappeared? Being one singular being must be super hard work! Cant imagine having to do all the things by myself all the time with no one to take over when it gets too much.

Parts and alters experience and express the same mood verticals in vastly different ways. As communication between parts gets better, there is a sharing of attitudes between parts, a cross pollination, debate, teaching..... and the mood landscape for each can look entirely different over time.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, then schizoaffective disorder.,then borderline, then P.t.s.d, I was finally diagnosed with D.I.D.I have been tortured with drugs and lived in mental hospitals all my life. The practitioners who can't ever seem to make up their minds argue with each other.I am treated with contempt and disbelief needles and restraints.I am shocked by the stupidity I am faced with. The lack of research.The endless questions. However I am in total agreement with you Dr.Grande .A habitual dissociative MOOD disorder would be a much better description. Dr .Grande please look at the brain scans of patients diagnosed with D.I.D .Fascinating.

I understand what you are saying about there being a confusion with mood states. Having said this however our experience as a DID system is that each alternate personality has a full range of mood states and behaviors for example our protector alter is assertive and confident and decicive. She is quick to anger and quick to get into a fight but also has times when she is softer and kinder she has times when she is sad or unsure and times when she's happy and full of jokes. I think that the mood state confusiondoes exist and can lead to erroneous self-diagnosis. I do however think that alternate personality states differ from this in that they are more fully complete personality states each with thier own range of moods.

It gets really bad when I get really stressed. When I found out that I had it I was insanely stressed as well. And it was almost like things were kind of normal again. You know no group talk or arguments, that when I first realized that I heard voices they were really only background chatting. So I figured I never had it in the first place. Stress enduced. So I do not the altars, I yelled at them in the headspace to shut up I told them that they don't not exist and I am imagining it. At first I heard a no or whatever and the littles disagreement. But they stopped, but they're definitely not gone I cannot reinitiate intercommunication I don't know how but I know I need to buy clearly and still in some sort of denial with acceptance at the same time it is like every other alter fully accept this as what, but I am looking for any reason that I can be normal whatever that is. I think I have become an expert and Eydie with everything I found now I can relate to. I cannot do this anymore I'm exhausted. I was in the second to last of my term in college and I just couldn't do it. I had to take a leave of absence. I can only work part-time. It is mental health rehabilitation technician doing daily living support. So the very short shifts help. I love my job and I am really good at. I get the hardest clients in the agency that we have and we are great together, of course I did not tell any of my clients my diagnosis I think they can sense the empathy on a deeper level of understanding, I have had a couple clients tell me that I I'm not like the other staff they have had, in a good way. The rare time is it that you get to see the true vulnerability and they're really asking for help and you can do it, that's why I love my job and it does not trigger me, I think they're different altars, b at least two that I can think of, I guess the best equipped for the job right? I have been having an issue with the darker side of DID. Dark alters. and it scares me because I think I'm going to lose control and then they have control right? Mental and physical exhaustion makes me weak enough to be taken over. I'm not big enough to house this crap. It's not an emergency I'm not in crisis. I don't plan on harming myself, but I can literally see the video of myself doing it. And it's my body and not my feelings or emotions. But it's so detailed becoming more frequent. last week I had sleep paralysis like once or twice and a bad dream and the littles are boycotting sleep. It's like a little kid fighting sleep inside my head. A very very little, a toddler, that is for some reason my favorite in the first one that Anyway do you know where I can look for any help. If I do not have this I really want him for what I do have cuz clearly this isn't how everyone lives. And I'm not eating right either. That started to get really worse this past summer? Sometimes it's okay but lately it's hardly okay but I get ensure protein drinks, meal replacement. But I'm still incredibly hungry. I need help. And I cannot get

I think that both things are true. I have absolutely seen DID manifest. A friend of mine fell asleep, then woke up and then started crawling around on the floor and talking in baby talk for a long time. And she did not remember it later, at all. She had a history of childhood trauma and mental health issues. But she had not been diagnosed with DID. But her boyfriend told me that she was always waking up with pins stuck into her, which she had accidentally put in her bed before sleeping. Clearly, she had put those pins in herself, but did not remember it. That said, I believe that sometimes clinicians have created it. Now, as to those much more developed alternate personalities, that I don't know about.