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A coworker once told me that she wasn’t having children because she couldn’t guarantee it would come out a boy. And she could only have boys because, and I quote, “boys dont get r*pd and they make more money”. 😳 I completely respect not having children, I’m 36 and childless by choice, but for that to be the reason?!!!!! Left me speechless.
the song she chose was absurd as well. the “i did nothing wrong, i’m young” lyric really pisses me off when she correlates it to herself and the allegations against her.
@@jnoelleart I love Sam Smith's song but she ruined it with the context she was interpreting saying "i'm younggg and innocent" for a serious crime she has committed.
@Isabella B well, you can't deny that it's more often dismissed and ignored when it happens to men. Some people don't even believe that men can be assaulted or r*ped.
"why didn't he come out earlier" - what a classic victim blaming we know from all genders. people don't understand trauma and sa and say stupid shit. you gotta love it.
@@eparigon Sara is either a troll or a genuine Sienna supporter who has left a couple comments here claiming Jack is gay and just doing this to Sienna for clout.
this woman truly disgusts me... and the worst part is that there are ppl ("fans") who ignore what shes done even though it involves SA. anyways, will get some popcorn now, wanna hear your thoughts!
ORORORORO!!! I spend half of my day sleeping! ORORORO!!! Then I sometimes get up and tell you that I am a famous content creatorORORORORO!!! Please don't sleep while driving, dear mk
Coming from a 17 year old girl it's common sense that you don't touch people without their consent. You should even ask for permission to hug someone, so her whole shit in blaming the fact that she young is not an excuse. If it was 18 year old boy he could not use that excuse I feel like since she's a woman she isn't getting in as much hate and trouble as a boy would be in this situation. Sexual assault happens to men as well as women people just choose not to care about it as much.
Do people nowadays really walk up to each other and say "may I have your consent to hug you?" 😂 I feel like consent is able to be implied by body language/facial expressions but there's those assholes who claim to have not have been able to tell the difference so now we have to go out our way to spell it out for them 🙄
@@Justme0528 i hate hugs so i normally ask that people either don’t touch me at all or wait for me to hug them. like we don’t specifically ask eachother but it’s like a mutual agreement. but for people i don’t know at all, it’s not okay to hug/touch me in anyway and i will vocalize that. just a personal thing for me but people normally don’t hug others that they don’t know lol
@@Justme0528 of course no one is gonna word it that way lmao. When I wanna hug someone who hasn’t told me that I can hug them any time I’ll say something like “could I hug you?” Or simply “hug?” if someone seems like they would like one.
I appreciate you speaking on this, especially on the toxic relationship angle. I'm a dude, and a couple years ago I got into a relationship with a junior when I was a freshman. I was encouraged by friends that I was so "cool" and "mature" for dating her. There were many points at which she did things without my consent, and when I told my friends they again encouraged it because she was "hot". After a lot more toxic behaviors from her such as isolating me from my friends, she broke up with me. I didn't notice how absolutely disgusting her behavior was until recently, when I finally left those friends. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but S/A is usually normalized by the abuser in these relationships and victims are so heavily gaslighted. I''m currently in therapy seeking healing. Don't be afraid to tell someone, what you experienced was/is REAL. You did not imagine it and it is not your fault.
Ensure you always are vocal about male victims because they're typically the most dismissed in abusive relationships. It's always important to know if a gf forces you into things, coerces you, slaps you, etc that is abuse. Period. Also I hope you're okay and heal from this! ❤️
This whole situation is just awful I feel bad for Jack, I wish when men come forward they were actually believed more and supported but unfortunately there’s a double standard when it comes to sexual assault. Also how sianna’s “apology” is her just saying “I’m young blah blah” like yea shes young but that doesn’t excuse her for what she did? I hate how she’s basically victimizing herself and trying to gain sympathy just because of her age and the fact that women are believed more, this whole situation is just awful and I’m hoping Jack gets more love and support.
Women go to the police to report being raped and they’re still not believed, they’re asked what they did for this to happen. So, him not being believed is coming from the same problem: a patriarchal society that thrives on toxic masculinity
@@saramcdonalds427 AH yes. Ruining the person you connected with and had so many good times because of your sexuality.. That is so damn stupid I feel second hand embarrassment for you. If he was gay he wouldn't bring his friend down for it. He'd just come out, sienna SA him and now is playing the victim. How the hell do you come to that conclusion?
Trauma is a weird thing and realisation is often delayed or the person just straight up refuses to accept it. I’ve had multiple doctors and specialists tell me I have suffered abuse but I just cannot see it for that. It’s weird
Right so often I hear about S.A. and I'm like this is horrific I feel so bad for anyone who has dealt with this then I realize I am one of those people and by multiple different abusers over a long period of my life but for some reason I always "forget" or don't realize til I think about it for a while then I'm like oh yeah.. it's like my brain thinks it happened to someone else then I remember it is so weird to me and I didn't understand how I could "forget" but I guess it's just denial to protect myself idk...
@@itsme-s. that reminds me of my mom. her mom abused her so much but she doesn't feel any hate towards her mom and tries to make excuses for her! I'm telling you, her mother woke up early just to attack my mom and my mom still doesn't believe she did it on purpose. she always says "i just don't think she was made to be a parent and didn't know how to handle it". denial sucks, but its even worse when you see someone close to you having it.
Thank you. I am an older female who has seen alot of things come down the pike. In my 65 years I have learned that SA is SA, no matter who the victim is. The "Me too" movement should be for EVERY victim, no matter their gender. Keep on keeping on
@@YayforFun09 No. It's for women under men who have high amounts of power, typically in Hollywood. Men tried to come out with stories and got told it's not for them.
@@TheMadHatterx no it’s for all victims of SA to come together…hence the me too. It’s not gendered. Hence Terry Crews going public about his SA with the movement.
he was passed out. there's no other context needed. he couldn't consent, end of story. if they were dating, this would still be SA. even if he did want to consent (which i don't believe he did) the point is HE COULDNT. HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS. it enrages me how victims have to act as their own defense lawyer when coming out with their story.
It took me 10+ years and my therapist telling me that my family didn’t really take care of me for me to realize I was abused and neglected at a young age. I thought all the stuff that happened to me was normal, but hearing her freak out about how my father treated me really confused me. It’s been about a month since that session and I’m still trying to come to terms with what happened to me. I keep on trying to defend my dad even though what he did was obviously not normal. I’ve also been groomed and it took me about a year to tell my mom and my partner. If someone doesn’t come out about their experience with abuse right away it could be because they’re scared, ashamed, confused or just lost. When people get mad at the victim for not coming out about it, it only reinforces those fears. If someone takes years to tell others about their experience with abuse, just be supportive.
this whole situation is disgusting, I wonder why so many influencers and celebrities turn out to be predators or abusive, is it because of the power? were they like that in the first place? i wonder if we will ever know. anyways great video mate, thanks for doing a deep dive on this topic, youre the best!
It's a combination of both. People don't fully go corrupt until they know they have some semblance of power and in this case, Sienna feels she's both owed a relationship and not have to answer these allegations. The fact that this guy told her numerous times that he isn't interested in her like that but she still chases him and then tries to gaslight him, guarantee she has done this before and now she's got a platform to do it on
I also think that social media accidentally provides stardom to people who really don't deserve it. Think about how many original youtubers are problematic people. They aren't big because they're good people
Another thing with a lot of SA victims and survivors, myself included, is that often times they can’t remember the event(s) well because the brain literally makes the memories fuzzy to protect itself from further mental harm and stress.
I was a victim of SA from a very young age, and I never knew what had actually happened to me because I was very young, and my family immigrated to another country a few years later after the incidents. When I grew older I was convinced that it was only a dream (along with other traumatic events from my childhood) and it didn’t actually happen. It wasn’t until I got help that I found out that it was a defence mechanism of mine to perceive traumatic events as dreams.
I hate when people discredit victims because “why didn’t you say anything when it happened” like I was s/a by someone who I was in love with so obviously when they didn’t stop when I had asked I was too blind to realize it was really wrong. And it took about 1 1/2years to realize I was a victim and it took my friends being like “omg I’m so sorry that’s awful” for me to realize it as well when I thought nothing was wrong with it Update: these replies are so sad and I’m sorry to every other s/a victim we shouldn’t have to go through these things
I told myself “I didn’t say no it couldn’t have been assault.” Quite a bit later I realized I didn’t feel safe saying no. I wouldn’t have had anywhere to stay if he kicked me out after saying no. I asked him to stop and he didn’t. He promised to use protection and then didn’t. I didn’t say the word no but I definitely didn’t give consent
@@christalcavanaugh omg the First part I relate to so much. I was like wait I didn’t say no, but I thought I did, but If I didn’t then why’d he reply by saying hold on, I did say no..I think. But now I know I did say no
This happened with a friend. I won't go into detail, as it's not my story. However, I will say it wasn't until she saw my reaction to what she'd told me that she realised why she was dealing with a lot of emotional pain and distress since what happened. This was months later. Before our conversation, she thought she was overreacting regarding her mental health decline and that she was the one in the wrong. It hurt so much to see how much pain she was in as she continued to blame herself and justify what had happened. I believe this to be very common with s/a survivors, especially right after the incident, so people need to stop victim-blaming them for not coming forward immediately.
@@samfitz5416 yess ❤️ and I’m so sorry it happened to your friend make sure to always be there when she has to talk about it, it’s traumatic and can pop up anytime and we sometimes just need someone to check up on us about it ❤️
@@gabbyh2842 I will, thank you. I'm really happy she told me because before then, she had kept it to herself. I will be there for her, I don't know what it's like as an adult to go through or if it's any different but I still remember what happened when I was a kid and it messes me up when I think about it, years later. Sharing it with the people you love and getting support really helps.
When Sienna listed off a bunch of victim blaming questions, girl this is why. We don't want to be attacked and interrogated for what we know happened to us. You are being a textbook abuser by running down that list of questions. - Why didn't you stop hanging out with me? Because that would upset the status quo and that tends to escalate things. - Why didn't you say anything to me? This response is why. Nobody wants this. - Why didn't you say something back then? Because it takes time to freaking process. People can tell you what happened but your brain will protect you in the immediate and not believe what happened. Your brain will run through all the victim blaming stuff for you because you don't want to believe it happened. It's called Denial. It takes time to grieve the relationship you had, it takes time to process the trauma that happened, it takes time to figure out what the hell you are going to do. - Why didn't you report it? Because we've seen how gross Cops can be. Victims don't feel like cops will believe us. Not to mention we don't want things to get fucking worse. And often involving the cops makes our mental health worse. Every part of our experience has to be examined and questioned multiple times in stressful situations. We will be publicly gaslight, any screw up or choice we've made will be drug up and slammed in our faces to make us look bad. It's an overall awful experience and I do not fault any person for not going to the police because how our justice system treats SA victims and victims in general.
23:40 When I got assaulted by my friend I still hung out with him and our friends for a couple months. a lot of my friends knew what happened and they wanted to be his friend still, or just ignored the situation. i felt like no one cared and i didn’t want to lose my friends to this situation so i just sucked it up and hung out with everyone. i don’t think people think about surrounding situations when trying to understand why a victim did/didn’t do something. now imagine why jack didn’t cut off someone who he regularly made videos with and who helped his career.
This!!! When my ex assaulted me, our shared friend group collectively went like “oh nooooo! Anyway-“ because he was a funny, likable guy and their friendship with him was more important to them than my trauma. And that was BEFORE he caught wind of the fact that I’d spoken up and started manipulating the narrative to paint me as this crazy, attention-hungry chick. Man, it’s been 12 years and it still makes me nauseous to think about. My so-called “friends” invited him to sleepovers. They forced me to share a bed with him because they thought I just needed to “get laid and get over it.” People are HORRID to survivors, and then wonder why we don’t report our assaults.
So I am a survivor of R, SA, and abuse, and recently someone close to me came out about them being SA'd by their grandfather, and because of that, someone else very close to me came out to me about their own SA, which had happened to them when they were like 6-9, and they are 31 now, and im the only person who knows about it. Just because someone doesn't say something when it happens, does *NOT* mean it's not true. Even my own situation, the cops only know about one of the R because I found out he had R'd 3 other girls, so we all made reports with the cops, which was almost 10 years after it happened to me. The people closest to me don't even know I was R'd twice, and the details of the kidnapping&SA that I went through. *Trauma does not need to be public in order to be valid. Period.*
I feel really bad that Jack was forced to make his story public because social media stars can’t leave anything to be private. But, in him speaking up, he validated all the other victims. He’s very brave and I hope he can heal from this.
i love how her excuse is that they have a touchy relationship so it's okay for her to do things to him when he doesn't consent when we all know that SA still happens in relationships, that's such a weak argument
Exactly. Unless someone straight up tells you "you have my consent to do ____ to me while I'm asleep" then it's literally assault to touch someone like that when they are unconscious.
Ohhhh a longer video 😊 (also I wish the RU-vid guidelines didn’t make creators say things like “k” and “SA” instead of “kill” and “sexual assault”, it sounds unnatural and I feel like it lessens the severity of the incident :/)
Also, just because you’re touchy feely with each other doesn’t mean you can’t still cross boundaries or mean you don’t need consent. The boundaries may be more blurry and maybe someone can feel obligated to reciprocate because that’s how it “normally” is, but it doesn’t excuse the need for consent. And consent has to be an informed, conscienscious decision that cannot be manipulated or coerced.
I despise the narrative that men have to be strong. It feeds into misogyny and makes men’s lives hell. My brother feels like he can’t tell anyone except me when he’s struggling - as a girl I’ve always been able to tell my friends anything and i can’t imagine not being able to express how I feel. Believe men when they say they’ve been abused: believe anyone regardless of their gender. And if you’re going to throw out the ‘what if they’re lying’ card (which is extraordinarily rare), I’d rather believe a liar than defend an abuser. And yes, people do sometimes take weeks months years to realise they’ve been abused or experienced SA: I myself didn’t realise for months as my brain wanted to to protect me from the truth. What do you gain from trying to discredit people? Nothing. What do they lose? Everything.
@Hi, it’s me I literally said we should believe victims - and I said it’s exceptionally rare that anyone would lie, and that if you call them a liar they lose everything. You clearly didn’t understand what I was saying.
I was in a toxic relationship for about a year and I literally had no idea until I told my friend about what he would do/say and they told me that it wasn’t normal and that relationships shouldn’t work like that so yes victims can take a long time to realize what happened
Same happened to me i was in a relationship for almost 3 years and 1 year after he broke up i just realized that he literally raped me every single time we had "sex" and he psychologically abused me in those 3 years and if i wasnt so quiet with him he would have definitely also hurt me phyically (ofc except the rape ) i just had to learn that everything he did wasnt normal
speaking from experience, a lot of victims of SA tend to have a hard time talking about these things for so many reasons, including (but not limited to) shame, the trauma of reliving it, fear of how others will react, uncertainty as to whether they will be believed, and more. Saying "why didn't you tell me" or "why didn't you speak up" shows a complete lack of understanding and empathy.
As an 18 yr-old trans man, and have had been $Aed multiple times before i came out as trans, the moment i came out as trans, my $A was no longer important because im now a "guy"
I really appreciate you specifically highlighting that it's common to not realize the abuse you went through was actually abuse. It's something I've struggled with and still have trouble accepting, and I wasn't sure if it was something only I did. Really appreciate your coverage of this topic and the emphasis of treating men and women the same when dealing with being sexually assaulted; men absolutely can be abused and assaulted, and it's equally worthy of believing compared to when a woman comes forward.
This situation hurts my heart. Jack and other men deserve to be heard and their stories deserve to be told. It’s so sad that not everybody is believed and that many people don’t tell their stories because of that. I hope the world gets better and people realize that this is not okay.
I'm a professional counselor and I can attest to the fact that men come to me all the time who have been ab*sed in some way. They try to downplay the situation because they live in a society that tells them that they are just being sensitive or that what happened wasn't real. If you have ever been ab*sed, I just want to say that you are not alone and it is NEVER your fault.
i've seen many videos on Sienna Mae, but i've never actually understood the situation, but this'll help me understand it better then i definitely did before. people always say women are sexually assaulted more than men, but when a man opens up to it, people don't believe them. edit: wanted to add more to my statement because i've watched more into the video. i recently watched Jack's video addressing the situation, and honestly, it's horrible that she found it ok to actually SA him and, when confronted about the issue, say shit like 'I didn't SA him, plus, he moved his hand' and 'he never said no'. of course he didn't say no because he was passed out, completely unaware to what was happening. if you've been a victim of any form of sexual abuse, i feel so fucking sorry for you, and just know, you have my full support if you have been.
In the real world and in the eyes of the law outside of fans of internet influencers who go through these types of things, women are never, ever, believed either when they come out with these accusations. That, along with how different women's lives are regarding catcalling and constant sexualization, rampant misogyny which feeds into men's desire to treat women as objects, how even in sexual assault against men it's usually other men who are doing the assaulting, etc., I still believe women are sexually assaulted much much more than men. This is not to undermine men's experiences either, however, to claim men are sexually assaulted anywhere near the same amount would be wrong, and completely undermines females experience in this world, and gets us further away from solving the problem.
@@Ktiekats i now do agree with you on the fact that women get sexually assaulted more then men, and it's less common for a man who has been assaulted to be on the news, whereas a reported case of any sexual abuse towards women would get put up on there. and yes, it is true that it's normally men who do assaulting, but honestly, people do need to wake up and realise that men do get r*ped and sexually abused, not just women. women do sort of get it worse then men, what with catcalling and r*pe. if you tell some people that men go through that too, there's a chance they won't believe you. like you said, to claim men are assaulted the same amount would get us further away from solving the problem.
Try reporting anything as a woman. You're treated like a criminal just for seeking help, and the police side with your abuser because he's calm and you're upset, and if you insist on pressing charges, you get charged too.
@kai_s00t yeah, it’s an unfortunate truth that men are typically disregarded if they’re SA’d. Women are as well of course, but I think more jokes are made if a man comes out with an allegation. I think society as a whole is on the right track when it comes to SA victims in general, it’s just going very slowly.
TW ⚠️ scroll now if you don't want to read Today at school, rumors were spread around about me. I was stalked and sexually assualted by my ex boyfriend several times, and when I spoke out I was only met with anger and annoyance from his friend group. I will admit, I did try to get back at him for ruining my life. I anonymously sent cockroaches to his house because I was feeling angry and frustrated. I have lost several friends because of him and he has twisted the story to seem like I lied about to situation, and that I am "trying to ruin his life". I just want everyone to know that if someone you know turns out to be an abuser, don't remain friends with them. Those kinds of people don't change, and blaming the person who was abused doesn't fix anything. Please always believe the victims. Thank you. - A victim of sexual assault
I was r’ed when I was in highschool basically in front of everyone and when I said something I was met with my reputation being ruined and my “friends” made me hangout w him everyday to make up for “embarassing them” I literally wasnt called my name for the rest of my time there they called me by his last name. I felt like I did something wrong when I didn’t. I punished myself for a long time after it took me getting older to realize I was being abused for being abused. I was hoping things would be better now and I’m so sorry that they’re not. You’ll get through this even tho it seems impossible now. This has showed you that you deserve to be loved the RIGHT way. Those friends were never your friends and have a darkness in their hearts. Sending you love
@@rilesfomiles8662 they called you his last name???? What the fuuuuuuuu??? I'm so appalled and mad right now. And immensely sorry for you, for everything you went through ofc but that shi really shocked me..
@@Samson16436 yeah it was brutal I think that was almost more traumatic than the assault. They even had a chant for when I walked through the halls it was out of a movie. I was fairly popular and the guy was out of highschool but a football legend. Wanna get even more mad ?? When I was forced to hangout w him I was sitting in the back of the car (that he broke the handles to do r drunk girls) and we were sitting at McDonald’s and he was already taunting me and some of the other guys pulled up and kept saying “hey (last name) what do u call ur car come on come on” and he wouldn’t say it and then he finally gave in he goes “the r dungeon” and then looked back at me and then the other guy leaned over and saw me in the back seat and they all started howling laughing and sped off. It literally still surprises me how I just let this shit keep happening. I’ll never forget it and this was only 7 years ago
Smh. Someone I am very close to went thru SA. When he finally told me about it I asked him why he never said anything bc I’d told him years earlier about my own experience with SA. He said he thought I’d laugh at him or wouldn’t believe him bc he was a guy. Even tho I am also a victim of similar circumstances, he still thought I wouldn’t believe him. It still hurts my heart to know that he’s been struggling, alone with all that trauma simply bc he’s a guy and “guys don’t get SAed”.
Thanks for covering this story, and I'm so glad to see the amount of support it seems like Jack Wright is getting in this situation. Throughout my life I have often been marginalized due to being a boy SA'ed by women; I do hope this attitude is changing. I grew up with an @busive mother who also preyed on my father before me (he was 12/13, she was 35 when I was born) and his parents allowed it When he got "too old" for her, she turned to me and would share me with other women she knew. It was about 23 years ago when I first told others about what she and her friends were doing, and nobody took it seriously. They either didn't believe it, or they said boys can't be forced so I was also responsible. Even recently I shared something about it, and some were saying I must have been "fantasizing," as if I would fantasize about those disgusting traumatic memories. Someone even I was trying to "make women look bad" by sharing what happened, like I should have stayed silent because my abusers happened to be women
Jack deserves so much better. Her reactions were so unnecessarily aggressive; I wouldn’t feel comfortable confronting her with ANYTHING, let alone something as sensitive as sexual assault (& less than 24 hours after it happened, no less!). Also, the phrase, “I have to protect myself before I protect you.” with regards to allegedly exposing a *different* instance of sexual assault to Jack is absolutely fucking wild.
As awful this has been for him, on the brighter side, I'm glad this is talked about more and more. People in general don't respect personal space and boundaries. And SA claims has to be treated serious, regardless of the gender. It's sickening how women get away with this kind of actions often and it's only because genders are kept in boxes and stereotypes.
I really disliked that she asked him why he didn’t do any number of things. Yeah, it was other people that spoke up on his behalf, which indicates that he probably didn’t want it to be aired out, maybe to keep it private, maybe out of self preservation, maybe to protect her, or any other good, plausible reasons. It was such a weird stance to take in my opinion.
i’m just going to throw this out. consent is not a one time agreement. even if her claims of “that’s just how we act” you need consent every single time. dating, marriage, having sex in the past, is not an excuse to assume you have consent.
I’m glad that you’re talking about the situation! Especially the part about victims not knowing what’s happened to them until later :(( It might seem odd to many people but it happens a lot and seeing you bring more light to that is very nice to see!
This poor young man. My heart always breaks for a man who is crying because I know it must be really bad when they let you see it. And the pained expression that came before the tears is so sad to see. He comes across as a lovely person with a big heart and very mature for his age (which is a whole bag of worms to unpack on its own). I’m glad he has such a strong support system with his family. I hope she faces consequences and then all this can die down and he can find normalcy, healing and happiness.
If i had done something like this at a young age I would feel so absolutely embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I don’t see any remorse at all from her part. And I truly think she just doesn’t see anything wrong with it because her behavior was extremely normalized. Maybe specifically normalized in the friend group she was in, although im assuming cuz idk anything about her or her friends. But u can tell she sees nothing wrong with it and feels more confusion than regret over it. She also seems very obsessive and this controlling behavior could be a catalyst for something even worse to happen in the future.
You would feel embarrassed and disgusted, as would I, because you would never do it in the first place. She did - she's a terrible human being and is likely incapable of feeling remorse
It really breaks my heart that men aren't having justice in their SA experiences either. As a victim myself, I wish nothing but healing and positivity for the rest of Jack's life. Seeing his assaulter all over the place has got to be horrific for him, trying to downplay it and twist everything around.
That girl doen't understand the concept of consent and abuse. Even if he agreed once to her advances it doesn't give her the liberty to act on her urges, specially when someone is passed out. Even if they dated or had something going on. Awfully toxic. Hope everyone gets the help they need.
9:19 THANK YOU. This is so fucking validating. In my personal experience I was 9-12 I think? There are parts my mind has blocked off. But I never even realized what was happening until I got sex ed in school at like age 14. And in my state it’s super conservative and even though I’m nonbinary I’m AFAB, so I thought it was my fault for the longest time. I still haven’t talked about it with anybody except my lovely boyfriend, because it’s too late now to do anything really (I’m 19 now). Shit haunts you for years and you get bad gut feelings and never know why, until that moment where it either slowly creeps up on you or hits you like a freight train. It’s so easy for people who haven’t experienced SA to think, “Why didn’t you just say it sooner?” But they don’t realize how the brain works to protect itself from trauma. And by the time it’s processed, that can be several years, even a decade, later.
I was in a toxic friendship for 5 years And it took that 5 years for the illusion to finally snap. A year on after intense therapy I'm doing a lot better but it still effects me in different ways to this day- there is absolutely no deadline to recognising and working through trauma To anyone who thinks there is, get a fucking grip.
T/W: s/a description This is such an important video. Women can be assaulters. My girlfriend was sexually assaulted by an older girl. She was chased around a house when she was alone with her (she was young, assaulter decently older than her) and the assaulter forced her on her stomach and got on top of her back. Forced her to watch porn. Assaulter threatened her with a belt and everything. My gf told her mom and she basically didn't care. She didn't realize it was bad until high school. But I also have a male roommate who was s/a in multiple relationships. Many people don't believe him because he's a 6'2 male who's 300 lbs and is hella strong. But people don't realize that just because you're strong, that doesn't mean you want to hurt someone. Several of his previous relationships abused him physically/mentally. He was also assaulted by an older man when he was young. But not much care or consideration is given. Everyone needs to have the support to cope through these situations. I pray everyone who has been through various situations, even if it wasn't s/a, gets healing. Believe victims of all genders and encourage men to speak up. Hate doesn't discriminate. 💜💜💜
My childhood was very traumatic and I didn't even believe it was affecting me until I worked through breaking that dam with my therapist at 17. I used to tell the stories of what had happened to me as if they happened to another person, my mind, to process the abuse, had set those feelings aside to make me feel numb and detached. But the feelings were all still there, bubbling up, affecting me without any knowledge or awareness as to why. And ever since that dam broke down it's been a long process working that stuff through. I'm 22 and I know for a fact this is just the beginning and my past will affect me for the rest of my life. So when I hear people coming out years after the fact with their stories, I'd never question the timing. You have no idea what process their mind has had to go through to fully accept what happened to them and be brave enough to talk about it. Especially as someone with PTSD, I know that even *thinking* about any traumatic incident will put you back in that mindset. So it takes strength to be able to actually tell other people.
I wish we made it easier for men to be able to come forward about SA. Her reaction explains why he didn't want to come forward and why he kept quiet around her. It's so difficult to "rock the boat" with things like this because of the chaos that always follows. I'm proud of him for standing up for himself.
I’m trying to figure out if popularity breeds horrible people or if horrible people just tend to get famous. Because it seems like a lot of these influencers end up being shitty people
I grew up in a religion where we weren't really taught consent. Like, the whole idea that you need someone's permission is important, and that was taught to my brother, but no one really taught me that I could set boundaries. That a forced yes, or feeling like I couldn't say no because of expectations was a violation of consent. No one told me I could tell people I didn't want hugs, even though it was the 'expected' for me. For a lot of boys I think they have similar problems, where they aren't always taught that they can say no too. And this idea, imo, is half the reason why the double standard of sa victims comes in. There's this idea that men's base is yes and women's base is no, so there has to be an explicit statement for the opposite, but that's a really toxic and poisonous idea. In reality everyone's base is no and everything needs permission. And yet somehow none of that defends anything Sienna did. like, she acts like a bully. She dismisses his feelings, his discomfort. I understand that no one wants to realize they crossed a line of consent, but there is a growth that can come out of it. It doesn't have to ruin your life (emphasis on HAVE to). The problem is she doesn't want to. She wants her little bubble and she'll crush anyone to keep it.
The things about not coming out ASAP as a SA victim resonated with me... Recently, an uncle of mine died. He sexually abused me when I was a minor. It took me 15+ years to realize/process that the stuff he did to me were seriously fucked up. The sad part is my family doesn't know the things that he did to me, and I'm afraid that they won't believe me if I come out now (or ever). So it's easier for me to just bottle it all up and live with it.
I heard about it when it first happened and I was like this is disgusting I'm glad I found someone who talks about serious situations I love your videos 🖤💖🖤
While the majority of sexual assault etc. do happen to women we NEED to speak on this when we see stuff like this happening. Because we can still not ignore the fact that this also do happen to other than women. This is so dangerous. I feel for this guy ( have no idea who they were; I am one of those old people) but also as a victim of SA etc. it fucking hurts me to the core to listen to her defensive video. It's so disgusting. Thinking of all the young people who follow these 2 and think this is just a "drama" situation. Make them believe that if this Jack hasn't said anything it's doesn't count... and like you also mentioned and THANK you for mentioning it, but the fact that some of us will probably NEVER come out with our alligations or it took me 10 years to fucking process wtf even happened to me. So thank you for standing up for us who goes by in our lives probably never mentioning it inthe open, nor are we obligated to do so, like this Sienna seem to assume. I am not even half way through the video but I like it so far, I never comment either but I watch all your videos and I'v enjoyed your content since the Shane documentary you were in ( sorry about that...) but thank you for bringing this topics up and being respectful! Keep going!
And also want to add that these young people gaining such big influence is also something that scares me. And you truly will see how they will handle situations as time goes by.
I know from experience that victim’s brains can and will block out trauma. I had an ab****e boyfriend who did things that I did not consent to. I didn’t remember until two years later. Some people don’t remember ever, some people they only block it out for a month or even a week. But trauma comes in different forms and the effects of this trauma lasts forever. Please be kind to everyone and know that this little bean loves you all!!💜💜💜
It's worth mentioning that on top of the bias that makes people doubt men can even be abused or assaulted, there's the false conception that women can't be sexual abusers.
I see a lot of younger people than I am struggling with the realization they were abused in various different forms and I just want to remind anyone struggling take your time. As much time as you need to come to terms and work through the pain. It’s okay to grieve and mourn for your younger self and there is no right way to do it. Also most importantly do NOT blame yourself. It doesn’t make you weak or less intelligent for being manipulated and taken advantage of. You are loved, you are strong and your emotions are your own and shouldn’t be treated less than valid.
I was friends with my abuser/rapist for a while after we broke up. It wasn't until I understood that I wasn't overreacting to what happened to me and that I had pretty severe PTSD that I blocked him from everything. It took a while for me to even begin to realize I suffered for years at his hand.
So, and this is just my perspective, her response to the accusations comes off as very defensive and angry. Instead of her actually being calm, collect herself and try to present any form of legitimate evidence for her case, she's just saying what she thinks we think we want to hear. My opinion, she did it
Can you imagine a.dude get accused of SA and he posts a video just dancing In his boxers as a response.... Oh wait Lopez brothers..... Ok let's just get rid of Tik Tok......
I can understand if they were in a relationship and she gave him a sweet kiss or held his hand or something innocent because she noticed he was asleep, but the touching and climbing while he’s asleep is really weird… he’s a person, not a doll.
I find myself and those around me delaying or being afraid to make decisions or say certain things when it comes to every day life- I cannot imagine the mental turmoil of someone who has been a victim of SA being afraid to act weather it be fear of the person who assaulted them or the consequences of speaking up or even acknowledging what happened to them in the first place- it is a terrible horrific thing that the mind does not wish to acknowledge because that’s what can really make it real for the victims, at times they can even fall into denial of said assault; which is not helped by the fact that the person who assaulted them is lying and gaslighting publicly not just saying it wasn’t them but bringing a scapegoat “someone else” into the mix, by doing that you’re admitting you know what you did was wrong, and I don’t mean now after it’s come out, I mean you continuously knew it was wrong while assaulting them. This is disturbing and I wish nothing but the worst for Sienna, may her career and name for down the drain.
I was SA’d by my ex bf almost 2-3 years ago and you are absolutely right victims can take a while to process and I didn’t start processing it until last year and by then everyone was telling me to “get over it” but you saying that about people processing things really made me feel valid. Thank you man much love and great video 💗💗
Your balance between comedy and good faith commentary and explanation is really really good, I think you handle these situations very well and I love your videos. Keep it up man
So glad you reuploaded! I watched it the first time and was disgusted by the situation. I hadn’t heard of this situation or these creators before your video (I don’t use tiktok). As always I loved your explanation of it. It always makes me so sad and angered whenever I see situations like this unfold. It happened with Johnny Depp, and it happens with many men and boys every day. So many women get the pass from society when they exhibit behaviors and commit crimes like these. It’s already so hard for women and girls in these situations to get the justice they deserve, but men and boys have to work so much harder to get their stories out and understood in this society. Men with mental health issues and trauma are always treated so much worse than women with the exact same issues, and it’s all because of the way society has decided to portray the way that men “need” to be in order to be accepted.
this channel is the only way I found out the drama and gossip about the social media world and my god the way I screamed "WHAT!?!" when she started doing that interpretive dance I lost my shit and I am so glad I missed social media until after I graduated high school lol
Looking back on this now, I just wanna take a moment to comment on 39:01 of the video. You see Sienna visibly shake her head as she says "Yeah", which indicates she knows full well what she did and how wrong and awful it was. If she didn't think it was wrong, and completely believed her own lies and claims to cover up the situation, she wouldn't have that kind of body movement and response that directly goes against what she's saying. And her facial expressions look more strained or stiff, as opposed to how relaxed her face looks on other videos.
i had no idea about this... i saw a few vague tweets about men in abusive situations. as horrible horrible AWFUL as this situation is, I'm at least glad if it resulted in any awareness about men experiencing sexual, domestic, or any kind of abuse. I don't know these people, I don't know what kind of people they are, but I'm so appreciative that this man had so much support from his friends, that they saw something going on and stopped it, and stood up for him. It's a great show of positive masculinity, using your strength to protect your friends, regardless of gender, and protecting them no matter what. I'm really proud of them for that. There's too many stories of men seeing other men get taken advantage of and abandoning them because they don't wanna believe that anything bad could happen to men and that all sex involving men is somehow consensual because of this weird idea that men have to be hypersexual. I want everyone to learn from this. No matter how strong you think someone is, you should always protect and be there for the people you love because even the strongest people can get hurt.
@@ng3295 This is why feminism is for men just as well as women :( we have to erase stereotypes because they hurt both of the sexes. Men can be abused. Women can be abusers. This is true in LGBTQ relationships as well.
@@boots1622fan exactly, I think as a whole SA needs a lot more exposure. It feels very taboo to talk about your experiences with SA despite how traumatising it is. This is the same for anyone of any gender/sexuality etc. and while I’m under no allusion that women are always believed or is it easy for them to talk about their experience, it feels almost impossible for a man to do so
I applaud you for not shying away from these very important and serious topics Fraser, because they do need to be spoken about. I think so many people use jokes as a defense mechanism and as a deflection from serious things because they are uncomfortable with them, but I very much appreciate that you use humor to make it a little easier to digest, while still remaining respect and actually being serious in the seriousness of the subject matter. Keep doing what you do. It's definitely needed and for me a breath of fresh air amongst so many creators who won't go there or even think going deep and speaking on real shit is cringe. It's not... They're the fucking cringe.
I was SA'd and I can confirm it took me over ten years to realize what happened wasn't okay. Then comes the shame and guilt with realizing it, then comes actually telling people. It's hard to talk about it so I'm somewhat surprised (and proud ofc that he felt decent enough to talk about it) that Jack came out about it
Good to know that male or female, your “friends” aren’t really going to always be the type to help you out. They literally watched this go down… people need to just do better
I don't care if Jack was unconscious, conscious or semi-conscious in that video. Conscious or not, he was clearly far far too intoxicated to give informed consent. If that had been a girl passed out drunk on the couch and a guy straddled her, kissed her and started groping her between her legs, no one would question that it was assault. I also don't care if he was kissing her back or not. Even if he was lucid enough to respond to someone kissing him, he could not give consent because he was too drunk to do so. I *also* don't care that they had kissed before. It makes no difference. Consent has to be freely given, enthusiastic and informed. EVERY TIME. Not shoving someone off of you when they're groping your body in public while you're intoxicated does not equal consent.
mentions of SA, Abuse, R*pe, Drug Use in my lil rant, read at your own risk please - - - - *one thing I absolutely hate about now a days is that whenever men come out saying that they have been assaulted, physically, mentally, and or sexually, its never taken seriously. People take it as a bit, or some sort of joke. Its one of the harsh realities of toxic masculinity. "I am big strong maaan, woman can no hort meh." Well women can. Men can be victims as well, men can be raped as well, assaulted and abused. My dad was a 6'2 300 hundred pound weight lifter who would never lay his hands on a woman was abused by my 100 pound something, 5'0 crack addict mom constantly. No one ever believed him because he was such a biiiiig strooooong maaaaaan, but she did. People need to open their damn eyes, like, if us women want to be treated as equals on the standards of men we also need to fucking care about the emotional standards of men. Men can be assaulted just like women and women can take on the same jobs as a man. It all comes full circle, do better ladies, and you too guys, be better at listening to your fellow brothers in hearing their stories and don't downplay them, have a lil empathy. We all got to pull our heads out of our asses and we need to stop being so blind to so many issues. This whole situation is not ok and she need to start realizing that just because she's a woman doesn't mean she can just get away with it, abuse is abuse, sexual assault is sexual fucking assault. She needs to have her actions seen and she needs to be held accountable.
As a former victim of verbal abuse. I can tell u that it took me 5 years to realize I was actually getting verbally abused. And another 3 to fully process it & figure out how to get out of my situation. I'm much better off now but I'm still dealing with the years of trauma. It's a slow process
I was assaulted at 14 years old. I didn’t have the courage to tell my mother until I was 21 years old. I was afraid and I suppressed my trauma. It happens. Victims are afraid. Victims are traumatized. It is especially harder when you’re violated in that way by someone you consider close to you. It’s disturbing to see people invalidate victims for not speaking up immediately. It’s not an easy thing to get off of your chest
I really appreciate this video there’s a lot of info on the situation and to get a clear concise video of all the information from both sides is needed for an ADHD brain like mine
Something I’ve learned recently is how common female abusers/predators will go years, DECADES, without ever being caught or called out. They’ll do some god awful stuff, traumatize the victims for a lifetime, yet never face the consequences. I hope Sienna faces the consequences of her actions and realizes the hurt she’s caused.
Oh boy : D !! It’s time to watch another long RU-vid video about people I have literally never heard about before today while eating dinner. I’m euphoric right now 😩
This situation sickens and disgusts me. Not only the “men can’t be victims” crap, but what people are saying the timing of him talking about it, and her response too. As a victim of SA myself, I know how hard it is to talk about it, let alone to hundreds or more random people on the internet. Being a male, its also incredibly more difficult. I was 16 when my experienced occurred, I didn’t talk to anyone about it until I was 25 years old. People like to say stuff like “they just NOW” talk about it because they “NOW” understood what happened, but personally, I think in some situations, it’s more of they are now coming to terms with it. After what happened to me occurred, there was so much shame and guilt, and just denial that I wouldn’t even let myself think about it or accept that it even happened. I completely understand why it took so long for him to speak up, and he’s very brave to do so. Her “apology” just shows her immaturity, and lack of understanding her actions. Yes, ya’ll were all kissy, feely in videos…doesn’t mean that gives you the right or consent to jump on his lap and make out with him (and touch him) when he’s clearly passed out or not conscious enough to consent to your actions. The videos were taken down and weren’t reported…maybe because he’s embarrassed and also cares for her and doesn’t want her in serious trouble. “Evidence is evidence, you don’t delete evidence” …she’s correct. However, if its online for millions to see and its embarrassing for you, you have the right to remove it from online…doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the original clip/video for proof later…you know, to keep it offline. To sum up my incredibly long rant lol If she did do this…(which looks as though she did…my opinion), she needs to face legal consequences to her actions. Hope he also is okay, and gets help he may need. Its great he has friends that care so much for him to speak about this.
