The Dumbest Russian Voyage Nobody Talks About 

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Favorite quote about the 2nd Pacific Squadron was when the Admiral made a remark about his first impression of the sailors; "half of these men know nothing, and the other half have forgotten everything"

You left out one of the funniest parts. To help morale while sailing around Africa they bought all the sailors cigarettes only to find out that the cigarettes they bought were laced with opium. So all the sailor were getting high and addicted to opium. When the officers found out about there mistake they confiscated all the cigarettes leading to many sailors getting violently sick from withdrawals while detoxing

The cruel irony is that Rozhestvensky was one of the few good naval commanders Russia had and the only reason the Voyage of the Dammed even got to Tsushima is because he was actually skilled at his job

My favorite part was “they were afraid of being ambushed by Japanese torpedo boats… near Denmark.”

You gotta give them credit for even surviving the journey

Well, it's nice to see their logistics haven't gotten any worse over time. /s

Fun fact: During the battle of Tsushima, a young Isoroku Yamamoto lost two fingers. Had he lost one more, he would have been deemed unfit for the navy, which might drastically change history.

FYI I'm Russian, and we wasn't taught this incident in detail, all we was told that Russo-Japanese war was the most disgraceful war in Russian history.

In his defense, Admiral Rozhestvensky was one of the few competent admirals in the Russian navy, despite his temper. He was convinced from the get go the whole operation was dumb, bad and would end in disaster. He did everything he could to make sure his ships were as ready as possible including gunnery practice every chance they got, although with results similar to the one time you did mention, making sure to clean off the coal dust from the mass they left on deck before battle to avoid it catching fire if shot, trying to avoid combat and simply slip into Vladivostok without engaging the Japanese, and intentionally trying to ditch a second fleet of reinforcements so obsolete they'd only slow him down out of battle and sink in it. But he was given what was basically a suicide mission, so there's not much he could've done to change the outcome.

Don’t forget the first officer who lost his mind on the voyage, and began to wander the deck of the ship, half naked, asking random passers by if they feared death. Not a reference, not a lie, truth is weirder than fiction. Also the image of a bunch of Russians in the Siberian tundra opening boxes expecting winter duds and instead getting crates packed with large caliber artillery shells is hilarious af

Best part was left out IMO - It's about the Russian repair ship (Kamchatka, a lead actor in this comedy) getting separated from the fleet for 3 days. When it finally found it's way back near Morocco, the captain was like "it's about time we found you guys; We fired hundreds of rounds at three Japanese warships and barely escaped with our lives!" Turns out they fired at a Swedish, a French and a German merchant ship, nearly alienating the whole of Europe by itself in a few hours. Perchance the gunners were just as incompetent as the captain. Ha ha ha.

Fun fact: A young Isoroku Yamamoto served on a cruiser during the battle of Tsushima. He lost 2 fingers to russian shells, if he’d lost a 3rd he would have been medically discharged from the navy. WW2 would have played out veeery differently all because of one finger

As a Finnish person I can gladly attest we were all told this story in history class.

The parrot swearing in Russian is where I lost it

Im russian and when i found out about this part of our history, i couldn’t believe the sheer stupidity of such a maneuver. And when u start learning about the details, oh boy..

Someone should make this into a historical comedy movie, it’d be hilarious.

Nice to see they've fixed their logistical issues, major lapses of discipline, tendency to fire on civilians, and penchant for nearly starting world wars with their terrible aim.

The parrot bit killed me, and I can't believe the bit at the end with misidentifying the Japanese battleship. The whole thing is just a Cohen Brothers movie.

I once attempted to sign up for the Russian navy. Unfortunately, as I was able to give an accurate definition of what a ship was, I was immediately disqualified.

I honestly feel so bad for Rozhestvensky. He was one of the few Russian admirals who would actually stick up for enlisted men if he found that they were being abused by their (aristocratic) officers. As mentioned by others, he was also pretty competent in general, and he was knocked out 30 minutes into the Battle of Tsushima and thus largely not responsible for the defeat, but he accepted responsibility anyway and died broke and disgraced later on. Also, while this video is a great summary, the absolutely horrible record of the Kamchatka cannot be stressed enough. That ship was such a fuckup that Rozhestvensky took to calling the ship the "lecherous whore" instead.

You left out one of the best parts. One of the cruisers (Vladivostok, IIRC) managed to escape the carnage of the battle. But its crew was so scared of the pursuing Japanese, that they sank the cruiser. Or rather, tried to, because they failed even at that, running the ship aground instead. A few weeks later, they managed to reach Port Arthur. On foot. Without their ship.

I heard a legend that, as the Admiral lay in hospital, he asked one of his captors if they sank the Kamchatka in the battle. The Japanese officer responded that they had, and reportedly the Admiral sighed in relief and thanked his captor.

Oh boy, this channel was a find. The algorithm finally got it right. Much love from Brazil!

Imagine the thoughts of those fishermen at Dogger Bank, who had no clue wtf was happing lol "Are we at war?" "Since when?" "Whose bloody ships are those?" "Are they firing warning shots?" 10 min later "Why are they still firing warning shots?"

I'm kinda upset that you didn't cover all of Kamchatka's achievements. She was the greatest ship of the Imperial Japanese Navy.

“With roughly 100 Japanese deaths” Does this mean that the Baltic fleet actually hit something?

Lol! I'm dying laughing from the rapid switch at the end "while our gallant sailors hold their own against the Japa - The baltic fleet was *decimated*' This channel is awesome!

That Admiral Rozhestvensky actually got this mobile disaster as far as it did makes him worthy of deep respect.

Rochovinsky was actually a pretty good officer and was really the only one with any sense. He personally ran around yelling at gunners to hold fire during the donner bank incident. But he could not ever be free or his achilles heel... The komchatka. The levels of stupidity reached by that single ship eclipses anything ever seen by man.

By the way, Japan attacked Port Arthur without warning nor declaration of war. This strategy was hailed at the time by the British as "brilliant", because, you know, Japan would not dare repeating the same strategy against anybody else, right ?

I love how nobody trained them for something as basic as identifying a hostile ship

You left out the best part about the Dogger Bank incident: The *entire* British Navy at anchor in Scapa Flow was under way within 12 hours of the trawlers being attacked, steaming south at all possible speed. There really, really was almost war between the UK and Russia and that would've been such a trip.

Man, can‘t think of a better channel to be receiving algorithmic love at this point!

Russian sailors: "I fear no man, but that *Thing* ..." *[looks to the repair ship Kamchatka]* "It scares me."

This has a potential to be turned into a comedy tv series. Pure gold.

On one hand, throwing binos overboard is a really bad practice, but on the other hand, considering the quality of his crew Im kinda surprised that he did not suffer a stroke long before the voyage even started.

I knew immediately that this was going to be about the Battle of Tsushima voyage xD . Goes to show that only truth is stranger - and funnier - than fiction xD .

I like how there are actual constellations on the starry sky, not just random dots, it's a really nice touch.

As a sailor I struggle to comprehend this level of incompetence, these days everything is so precise in modern western navies that even slight mess ups bring huge shouts of incompetence.

And suddenly it makes a lot more sense how a nation that doesn't even have a navy managed to sink a Russian warship in 2022

I love how they, not only, almost sparked a war with the LARGEST NAVAL POWER IN EXISTENCE at the time, but they also almost kicked off a war with: France, Germany and Sweden by attacking their merchant ships.

You've spoken so much about this fleet's incompetence, but when they manage to bring a *venomous* snake on board from *Madagascar,* even you have to admit that takes talent. They must've found the ONE mamba on the whole island, in a zoo in Antananarivo, and successfully pilfered it. Oh, and did I mention that Tana is in the Malagasy highlands in the middle of the island?

Russian fleet: nobody wilp defeat us. Fishing boat: *comes* Russian fleet: *Panik*

Good thing to see that the Russian navy has remained consistent over the past century.

Russians: Theres one thing that scares me *pans over to Norwegian fishing ships* Russians: Japanese torpedo boats…

Ah, Kamchatka. The greatest Japanese ship in the Russian navy

As a russian, who is only ever-so-slightly into history - we do talk about it. Because as much as we are brainwashed into being loud and proud of everything our ancestors did, there is nothing quite like shitting on insanely stupid major operations. You know, Russo-Finnish war, Afganistan, SELLING THE GODDAMN ALASKA FOR A HANDFUL OF SPARE CHANGE... Our history is full of impressive examples of stupidity of our proud people. Really like your delivery, great stuff, tovarisch

october 2022, we are witnessing the russian black sea fleet being crippled by a country without a navy yet another shinning accomplishment in russian naval history

If I was in charge of the Russian Baltic Fleet I'm sure I'd have anger issues too.

yeah, that's pretty much the best way to make an abridged version of Drachinifel's video about that trainwreck

This wasnt the Russo-Japanese war! It was a Russo-Japanese "Special Operation"

You'd think Russian incompetence was a Soviet heritage, but seems like it's in their character from olden days.

This needs to be a movie in the same vein as "The Death of Stalin".

Whenever I hear this story, I always wish someone made a movie about it.

You forgot to add an important note, this war was so overwhelming for Russians, showed so many flaws in the system that it catalyzed the first Russian revolution in 1905.

As a Russian, I’m not saying I’m ashamed, but definitely not surprised that everything went the way it did

Innaffective Russian Military operations.. The more things change the more they stay the same...

Russia’s real only claim to being the Third Rome is apparently their shared inability to use boats

British fishing boats: *exist* Russian navy: "Those are Japanese submarines! FIRE!" Russian navy ships: *also exist* Russian navy: "Those are Japanese, Fire!" *Japanese submarines roll up* Russians: "Ah don't worry, Those are our own ships" *Genius*

You have to appreciate that the Russian Navy said, "Yeah, this is working. Let's make this our primary strategy." This stellar process lives on to this day. The Admiral of the Russian fleet was killed today in Crimea.

Meanwhile in 2022, Russian officers told their soldiers to dig trenches in Red Forest of Chernobyl

The "Voyage of the Damned" would make a great inspiration for a comedy. Also, the main reason for why many neutral ships were mistaken for Japanese torpedo boats was because of mass hysteria and drinking a little too much vodka from the captain and crew of the supposed repair ship Kamchatka (nicknamed by Admiral Rozhestvensky as "Lecherous Sl*t"). Edit: Accually did some more searching around and it turns out that most of incidents were all involving the Kamchatka and the only good thing it's ever done is just absorb Japanese shells + sinking at Tsushima.

5:54 Was not expecting that. Anyways I now have clam chowder all over the counter top that have top clean.

This was the craziest russian expedition until "Kyiv in 3 days".

You forgot the part during the Dogger Bay where the crew of the Borodino thought they were being boarded by the Japanese so they started to abandon ship.

Well this was an odd time to be recommended this video.

I can't wait to see BlueJay's future video about the Russian invasion of Ukraine and how the 40 mile long convoy of death ran out of gas.

Bluejay: "Marking the first time in history that an eastern power defeated a European one." Genghis Khan: "Am I joke to you?"

"The Dumbest Russian Voyage Nobody Talks About" Drachinifel: *Am I some kind of joke to you?!*

“The new DLC just dropped and everyone wants to try out these new toys” earned a sub

Considering that the Russians just lost their Black sea flagship to a...*checks notes* "ammoniation fire, which caused damage to the ship and caused it to sink while trying to tow it back to port" and totally not getting it attacked by a smaller country with no meaningful Navy compared to them... This video has aged like a great wine :D

The truly amazing thing about this video? It's from 2021. That is, the year BEFORE Russia started a war in which it kept losing its naval units (including the "state of the art" flagship) to a country with no navy.

Love the style. Slightly Sam O’nella inspired impression with a bunch of fresh new styles within to make it original. I like it.

It's February 2022 and I gotta say, this explains a lot right now.

And nothing has changed since then given recent events.

It's a joy to see the Russian military still strives for the same stellar strategies today.

I love that the Russian modern navy is not much different from their predecessors even after 100 years. They managed to sink their flagship missile cruiser from an unknown source of onboard "fire" and a sudden "storm" in a totally fine weather...*wink wink*

It's like someone kept saying "Well this can't get much worse." Crewman: **cough**

I don't remember how i found your channel, i think reddit, but i remember the first thing i did when i watched one video, i binged all of your videos, so really happy to see a new upload, just wanted to tell you i appreciate you, keep up the good work

So... nothing's changed then.

Weirdly, we the British did this before the Russians, against the Russians. During the Crimean War, we had the oh so bright idea of attacking the far Eastern coast of the Russians. So, Rear-Admiral David Price, an excellent seaman, but also old and soft-hearted, had the task of getting a British fleet from assorted British ports to Petropavlovsk in Kamchatka. Well, the fleet had less problems than the later Russian fleet, but, thanks to Price's soft-heartedness, drunkenness was rife on board the ships, and yes, they also took pets from Africa - mainly parrotts - but Price had far less international incidents thanks to some superlative seamanship, and lost far less men to boot. Now the fleet's job was manifold but to land men on the Kamchatka Peninsular, provide support for said landing, and drive off any Russian ships that might interfere with the landing was the most important parts of it. And, in the moment of his greatest triumph, having got his fleet in reasonable order to execute this landing, an achievement of with he should have been justifiably proud, Rear-Admiral David Price, er.......shot himself. Why? Well I mentioned that Price had got rather soft-hearted with age. Well, the poor guy had driven himself into a state by thinking of the soldiers and seaman in his care, and the closer he got to Kamchatka, the more he fretted about sending these men to their possible deaths. And finally, it was too much. Unlike the sailing of the Russian fleet, this had a moderately good outcome, the British took Petropavlovsk, although casualties were high, and managed to hold it, much to the annoyance of the Russians. But think of Rear-Admiral David Price and ask - was it all really worth it? Edit: A slight edit. Eventually, the Russians did manage to drive the British off Petropavlovsk, but the Russian's did admit that the action had cause a lot of worry and diversion of resources from the main theatre of war in the Crimea.

Man. I knew the Russians got their asses handed to them at Tsushima, and I knew they had sailed all the way from Europe, but I didn't know all the stuff that happened during the journey. Seeing all this makes their eventual defeat much more obvious. Like, they expected THIS fleet to win against the IJN? Really?!

If a french RU-vidr is to be believed, at one point the admiral ordered one the ships (the worst one) to pass as close to them as possible, so he could personally yell and curse at the captain from the deck, before throwing his binoculars at the ship. Getting a Haddock vibe, there

Japan to Russia "You don't seem to understand, China Isn't Yours to conquer".

It was not a war, just a special ocean cruise.

at least they are consistent

If a historically accurate drama were made of this, the reviewers would all think it's a really dumb comedy... probably assume the admiral is supposed to be a knockoff Russian Borat. Funny enough, there are Japanese films about this, so now I'm curious about how they approached it.

Dude, I'm a Ukrainian and I've opened this video again just to say:yeah, there is a bit of another emberassement happened down at Crimea recently, Moskva, a russian warship went and fucked itself, it was awesome

The Russian Baltic Sea Fleet: It was bad, but at least we lost against a navy of an emerging power. Nobody can do it worse! The Russian Black Sea Fleet: Hold my vodka!

You don't sound much like a Blue Jay. But what do I know? Subbed!

You forgot the part in which Rozhestvensky is informed, around Cape Town, that reinforcements are on the way. And he decides to run ... away from meeting them. Now, that sounds stupid, but he knew the ships that were supposed to be the reinforcements, and knew they were in WORSE SHAPE than his fleet...

This content aged well, very well, like a fine wine.

Id like to imagine the parrot was taken as a spoiler of victory leading to a Japanese soldier ending up with a parrot that literally cursed like a Russian sailor

Russian history has always been at the crossroads of tragedy and stupidity.

Y'know Bluejays are normally agressive buttholes of the bird world, but this distinguished gentleman has a top hat, pipe, and monocle. Also it brings random trivia to pass the time on the toilet.

IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE RUSSIAN PARROT, IM SOBBING

Drachinifel has a great video on this topic if anyone wants to learn more. Rozhestvensky's role in this whole thing is even funnier, he was actually a fairly good admiral saddled with the world's worst fleet.

When the world needed him most, he disappeared. But another took up the mantle in his place. And that's how I subscribed to bluejay

Years ago I got my wife a ball python for her birthday, and it turned out that the little guy really loved wine! She'd sit on the couch with him curled around her wrist (he was fairly little at the time) and he'd dip his head into her wine glass and flick his tongue into the wine. I thought it was an odd fluke at the time, but hearing about the vodka swigging snake makes me wonder if it's not as much of an aberration as I'd originally thought. Who knew snakes were such alcoholics?