The Fight with My Mom 

Have you ever gotten in a big fight with your parents?

Normalize apologizing to your children when you’re wrong.

It’s so sad that some parents would rather lose a child than an argument

TBH Mama Mai is clearly repeating the toxic cycle she’s learned from her parents but Jeannie is actively trying to end the cycle!! GOOD JOB JEANNIE ❤️💪🏼

If mama Mai continues to act like this and belittle Jeannie, Mama Mai will lose an amazing daughter. Mama Mai shouldn’t have invited people to a quarantined engagement dinner for family only, and then blames Jeannie for it. When Mama Mai called Jeannie the devil, and she doesn’t want Jeannie as a daughter, I literally cried for her. That’s a line you never cross as a mother.

"Toxic parents" is a real thing. Boundaries are necessary.

She's angry because Jeannie yelled at her in front of her ex-husbands new wife. That's the real reason she says she'll never forgive Jeannie. Because saving face is so huge in her culture, more important than her relationship with her daughter. From one mother to another, your love for your daughter should always be unconditional.

Y’all gotta remember Mama Mai is the same woman who didn’t believe Jeannie when she got molested. Her pride matters more than her relationship with her daughter.

This reminds me of my fights with my mom. I started crying. Parents can say the most hurtful things and think it won’t affect us.

To all the people commenting “she shouldn’t have posted this”, “ they should’ve worked it out first”..... first of all scroll through the comments and see how many people commented that their mother acts the SAME way & they actually feel like they’re not alone after watching this. This is something that needs to be spoken about more!! Too many families face these same issues and it causes so much mental health issues and builds up trauma. Secondly she says in the beginning of the video that her mom is more likely to talk about these issues if it’s with Paul and it’s being recorded than actually with her. She wanted to speak about it with her mother so that they could resolve the issue instead of prolonging it. Jeannie I understand why you were upset, I would be too. It was your engagement party and your mother wanted to invite other people and make it her Christmas party, that’s not ok. No you shouldn’t have yelled at her but you apologized and we all do things impulsively that we sometimes regret. Mama Mai doesn’t want to accept your apology and move on, that’s on her. I hope that you guys can work this out but if not do not continue put jeopardize your inner peace, it’s time for you to heal.

The way Mamma Mai says "you're the devil", "you're over here, I'm over there", "I want you to feel guilty", just sickens me. Jeannie, I know she's your mother but she's really behaving childish, not apologizing, not being the parent or the biggest person... She overall just hurts you. My heart breaks for you... I hope you manage to stay strong. And remember that even if she's your mother, she doesn't have the right to treat you like that...

Mama Mai, she shouldn’t have invited HER friends to her DAUGHTER private engagement party. Period.

Can we give Jeezy some brownie points for being a supportive fiance (at that time)?! Just because we come from broken families, doesn't mean we have to stay and raise one!

The problem is, Jeannie can apologize and admit she’s wrong but mama Mai can’t admit she’s wrong. She escalates an argument by saying more hurtful things to hurt someone.

My heart just broke when Jeannie said “ you probably don’t even want a daughter like me” I really hope that she understands how great of a person she is and not just a person a great daughter. Jeannie. You give back to your mom, to your family, and you also support and work hard for so many causes, please don’t forget how truly great you are and I know your moms may make you feel very bad please don’t forget how great you really are.

Mama mai is a perfect example of a toxic parent who guilt trips their own child so that she never has to bow down or say sorry. She simply won’t ever accept that she was wrong. Period.

This was honestly so hard to watch without being emotional and trigging my own traumas being a daughter to immigrant parents from Vietnam. It's so hard because of the language barriers. I wish my parents understood and spoke as well as Mama Mai so I could even have conversations like this. My mom says a lot of hurtful things when she's mad as well or feels challenged on her beliefs (that are wrong sometimes). Thank you for sharing this. Once I come to some money and find the right therapist who speaks Vietnamese and can translate, I am going to get myself and my mom into therapy one day so we can better understand each other.

I’m with Jeannie on this. Mama Mai shouldn’t invite her friends to Jeannie and Jay’s private engagement dinner. It’s not her engagement party.

Anyone saying Jeannie shouting “is disrespectful “ Y’all try hearing all those hurtful words from your mom and see if your reaction is different

Sending Jeannie a virtual hug. I saw a little girl crying and trying to reason with her mother and I could imagine the exhaustion she was experiencing. ❤❤

I don’t think Jeannie will ever find the peace she desires as long as her mother is in her life. When we are young we have to include our family in our lives. As an adult you have the power to exclude anyone who is destructive to your soul. Jeannie you’re a treasure who don’t deserve this chaos.

regardless if Jeannie knew those people, she specifically said that she ddidn't want them there, you guys don't know if they've been quarantined or not. COVID or no COVID, it was their engagement dinner and her wishes should have been respected. With covid, proper precautions should have absolutely been taken and respected for Jeannie 100%. Mama mai wants to yell at jeannie for what she did but doesn't want to acknowledge WHYYYYYY she was upset in the first place. Her response saying she won't go to the wedding is SO petty and toxic. praying for jeannie.

Personally, I think that this video showcases something that a lot of Asian children go through. It's ingrained in our heads from the moment we were born to respect our elders and that they are always higher than us. However, when the elders do not respect us back, it's hard for us to keep our heads low and accept their criticism. We're not asking them to bow down to us, all we're asking is for them to consider our feelings and treat us like valid human beings. I do not want to over step any boundaries but I do believe that Mama Mai is becoming more egotistic. From what Dennis said, she yells at her kids all the time in front of other people. But once her daughter yells at her in front of other people, it is unacceptable and she will not accept any apology unless Jeannie bows down to her. It's this unbalanced dynamic and how "It's ok if I do it because I'm older than you but once you do it, it's wrong" that is so frustrating to watch. Edit: Thank you for all the likes and comments. I just want to point out that by reading a lot of your replies, this seems like a common thing in multiple cultures. I specifically put Asian because I am Chinese myself. I didn't want misrepresent any ethnicities or cultures but it is interesting to see the similarities in hardships that multiple ethnicities go through.

its JEANNIES ENGAGEMENT DINNER.. SHE SHOULD BE COMFORTABLE NOT RANDOM FRIENDS OF MAMMA MAI.. HELLOOO! MAMMA MAI DOESNT ACCEPT THAT SHES IN THE WRONG . BUT LOVES TO HATE ON JEANNIE.

Jeannie got soo hurt when her mom mentioned the wedding😭😭😭😭my heart breaks for her. I will never look at her mom the same way. I had forgiven her for not believing Jeannie when she was molested but I don't think I can get over this.

The fact of the matter: You embarrassed Mama Mai infront of your dad's girlfriend and she can't get pass that...simple. Her narcissism is also pushing this further than it has to go.

Hearing the hurt in Jeannie’s voice telling her mom that if she has to separate from her in order to be happy. I felt that. I’ve had to do the same thing, even though its a hard decision to make its necessary. Especially when dealing with a narcissist parent. I’m so sorry Jeannie. Just know that you are not the problem and no matter how much you do for your mom she will never be happy with you because she isn’t happy with herself.

This is probably one of the many reasons why Jeannie doesn’t want to have children. She wouldn’t want to make her child feel the way she has been made to feel...like a devil 😞

It’s sad the parents that come from disfuntional homes, they have a hard time being good parents. They don’t want to ask for forgiveness, there always right and stubborn. They always try to manipulate us kids. It’s sad that mama Mai was so mean with Jeannie.

When Mama Mai told Jeannie she wanted her to “bow down” to her with an apology............chillllleeeeee. Mama is petty as hell. Jeannie has forgiven sooooo much. She’s been so big about so many hard topics. When Jeannie cried, I cried too. Mama Mai made me sad with her actions. When Jeannie said “you probably don’t even want a daughter like me” and Mama agreed......smh it reminded me of my relationship with my mom. I hope Jeannie is ok, she looks so sad. Mama Mai wouldn’t be who she is now without Jeannie and it’s definitely gone to her head. #TeamJeannie.

Truly, it’s not about if “Jeannie Won” or “Mama Mai won”. Nobody wins when hate, pride and tears is taking place. This is very heartbreaking. I am praying for everyone involved.

Let's not forget mama Mai also didn't believe Jeannie when she told her she was being molested and that's why they didn't talk for 8 years. Mama Mai is always putting Jeannie down in all the videos and she just wants to leech off of jeannie's fame. Yes Jeannie is allowed to be upset about her being selfish and mama Mai isn't acting like a mama at all. She's acting like a petulant child and that's why she's being treated like one. Sometimes it's better to cut people out and never look back.

I relate SO MUCH to this. I see people in the comment section talk about "Cut her off. Cut her off". That's not an easy thing to do when you genuinely care about the person. This reflects the kinda relationship between my mum and I, I'm already so scared to lose her to death. Cutting her off is not something I can do easily. I wish you all the best Jeannie.

Jeannie can yell and scream until she’s blue in the face trying to get her point across, but Mama Mai does not strike me as one who would ever admit fault, sincerely apologize or respect boundaries going forward. Sometimes a little distance between the two can be the best thing.

I hate it when parents can't just admit when they are wrong,instead of apologising the make us feel shitty.

The part where Jeannie brought up how her mother and grandfather had a fractured relationship and the cycle was repeating itself was so deep. Generational curses are hard to break.

When they told mamma Mai to leave the conference call room and come back but she actually tried leaving her actual room, I died 😂😂😂

Mama Mai has so much pride it’s scary, she’d rather lose her relationship with her husband, her daughter, everyone than admit she’s wrong. This remind me of me and my mother tbh. Mama Mai is so toxic and self-saboteur.

Mama Mai was embarrassed by Jeannie yelling at her but she’s not embarrassed by her behavior here? THIS is what I would be embarrassed about if I were her :/ it’s pretty clear there’s some deep rooted issues here with Mama Mai

I feel sad for Jeannie because I feel like her mom is going to ruin her marriage with Jay. The way he chooses to side with her mom (out of respect because she’s the elder whether she’s right or wrong) will eventually lead Jeannie to resent him.

Narcissistic mother ... wow. Must’ve been hard growing up with that I’m so sorry. A trauma ridden child often kicks in survival instinct and through that they develop a sense of selfishness turned into narcissism

Covid or not, Jeannie wanted an intimate party so her mother should’ve respected that.

The fact that it was Jeannies engagement party throws me off. Like how are you gonna disrespect Jeannies and her fiancé’s wishes to keep it a small close family party during the pandemic. It’s an engagement party not a birthday party. It’s a special time. Now this is what is going to be remembered.

I genuinely feel like mama mai knows that she’s wrong in the situation but doesn’t want to admit it.. maybe cuz that how she was raised and she doesn’t know how to say sorry especially in a family situation.. i love mama mai but that attitude was so toxic and hurtful, she’s not even helping at all.. sometimes its ok to love parents from a distance.

This broke my heart so much seeing the cultural and generational curses so deeply rooted in mama mai, you can see so clearly in her eyes that she really heard what you said but her pride and ego takes over. When she admits all the good things jeannie does for her she is halfway there and then the ego and pride takes over fully and she goes back into her shell.

I feel her as an Asian... Asian culture expects us to respect our elders even though we aren’t given the same respect... Jeannie standing up for herself makes me feel like she’s standing up for me as well... thank you Jeannie 😭❤️

This was the most REAL thing I've ever seen on RU-vid. Jeanie, you are so brave to share this online. I really hope you and your mom find a way to reconnect and I'm sure you will. This video was heartbreaking but also educational to all us girls and moms to hear both sides and try to empathize. Sending you love Jeanie 💘 (from Iran🇮🇷)

I literally cried when Jeannie started crying. This is so heartbreaking. I hope her mom realises and owns up to her mistakes too before she loses a daughter who loves her so much.

I honestly don’t understand why Mama Mai makes everything about her. 🤦🏽‍♀️ She needs therapy, she really has some issues. She isn’t a bad person just got some issues to deal with.

Mama Mai said some pretty hurtful things... #😢

ANYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE A NARCISSIST PARENT WILL NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND THE HURT SHES DOING TO JEANNIE AND EVERYONE IN THEIR LIFE

This was sooooo triggering. She’s gaslighting you and her narcissism is going to suffocate you. You need distance from her. My heart breaks for you Jeannie. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

My mom is a narcissist and it took almost 10 years of her and I grappling with her never apologizing for her wrongs for her to finally change (I’m 23 for reference of how long it has been). The last two years, our relationship has improved so drastically because I was able to change the way I reacted to her. I relate to Jeannie on a deep level. It takes re-parenting your inner child and your parent restructuring their entire mind. It’s like a generational thing or something, all parents I know of through my friends have a problem with admitting to their faults. Mama Mai needs to get help to understand her faults and where her issues stem from so that she can become a better person to her daughter. I hope you can get the peace of mind you deserve regarding the relationship with your Mom, Jeannie.

I had a problem with mama when she didn't believe Jeannie about getting abused by a family member. She seems to be in denial aaaaa lot... Also knows no boundaries. Dennis did not help at all.

Jeannie is 100% correct. Mama Mai is being too egotistic and self-centered.

This is general: but I feel that children are always having to “respect” their parents because they are the parents. But children have feeling too. If you child is apologizing to you and means it you should accept it. But accept your fault too.

I really admire the way Jay treated Mama Mai when she decided to leave Christmas. It speaks volumes of his quiet strength and character as a "real" man. I was very impressed and know most men are not emotionally equipped to handle such a delicate situation. I pray you two work it out. From what I can see pride played a huge part in this misunderstanding. Personally, I feel one of the greatest things in life is the unconditional love of a mother. I hope Mama Mai will gain the wisdom to put aside her pride and "give" Jeannie the unconditional love that a child deserves. The wonderful thing is you both want to the same outcome, that's a positive start in the right direction.

Yeah, her mom is wrong. Bringing people over outside of the group without her daughters permission and combining Xmas with her engagement party together was not right.

Can you see how Dennis was so afraid to say what he thought and was even trying to police Jeannies language to accommodate their mothers temper? Signs of a child that grew up in an abusive environment

This is so sad that Mama Mai can't see that she's being disrespectful and then saying she won't be attending the wedding....my heart breaks for you Jeannie.

It was so sad to see jeanie break down like she did. She was completely right and her mom was refusing to understand her or see her point of view from her ego. What her mom did i hope is not an ongoing cycle because that is toxic and unhealthy

This actually made me cry because it’s exactly how my mom and I communicate. Every time I call her out on something - big or small - she acts like a child, gets defensive, says I’m being “bossy” or “aggressive”, plays the victim card. It’s not fair and it’s not right. I’m an adult and want to talk things through and get to the root of the problem calmly and maturely but we never get that far because of how my mom reacts. Makes my heart hurt for Jeannie knowing what she has to go through with her mom - especially in this situation where Jeannie is clearly in the right.

I feel like the roles reversed. Mamma mai is the child and Jeannie the parent. Mamma mai very childish in always seeking attention and retaliates if no attention is given. If Mamma mai put her daughter first then she should have respected Jeannie’s decision. If Mamma wanted a get together with her friends then she should have a separate party with her friends and not intrude Jeannie’s PRIVATE party. Talking to mamma mai seems like talking to a brick wall.

Mommy is wrong, the party was about her engagement not about her mom's friends. I can't even stand to listening to her mother right now.

This breaks my heart, truly. Seeing your mother getting this heated over such a trivial thing as being wrong is really upsetting. This is a prime example of narcissistic behaviour, rather being right than doing right, and this is not healthy. I am so sorry, and I hope you don't take my thoughts as an attack on your mother, but I feel for you. I'll add that I lost my grandmother in COVID in late January, which makes this hit home. She wasn't a partier, she just had one caregiver at her house daily to help her make food. It takes one person outside of your group. Two couples are plenty too many to jeopardize safety and a COVID death in the family tears the family apart. My grandmother died alone at the hospital and we had to say our goodbyes on Facetime, watching her gasping for air. This is not fine.

Honestly, I feel so bad got Jeannie. I’m a therapist and this video showcased toxic, unhealthy behavior. The lack of accountability from her mother regarding her irresponsible behavior was upsetting. When Jeannie began to cry and said “You probably wish you didn’t have a daughter like me” my heart hurt. I’ve worked with many clients that have this kind of unhealthy relationship with their parents, especially those who are not from the US and in their culture behavior like this is acceptable from parents. Sending light, love, and positivity to you Jeannie.

the whole "respect your elders" thing in immigrant culture is so tired omg like respect is earned not just freely given idc if u gave birth to me, you gotta show me you respect me as an individual. love and respect are two separate things and, especially in asian cultures, the elders mistake the two as being synonyms when they're not.

Respectfully, your mother is 100% in the wrong at this point. You were wrong for yelling at her in front of everyone but as you said, you took responsibility as a mature person does, and you apologized. It's really sad to see such toxicity between a mother and daughter.

When Jeannie broke down it made me cry too. Mother and daughter relationships could be so complicated and it’s so sad when you can’t find that common ground to fix things especially when there’s genuine love for one another. I wish them both the best. ❤️

This had me in tears. I’m going to be honest. I don’t think I can look at Mama Mai the same. She keeps letting you down, your childhood, not believing you, and constantly putting you at the bottom of the totem pole. I know I’m just some stranger from the internet, but I truly wish you weren’t hurting. As a mum myself there’s nothing more important to me than my son knowing he is loved. Mama Mai needs to get help. All the love in the world to you Jeannie.

I am so disappointed in Mama Mai, she had no right bringing her friends and the words she said to Jeannie she is going to regret it. Mama Mai needs to learn respect goes both ways and she has shown zero respect for her child. My heart breaks for Jeannie she has been through so much and it took a lot for her to forgive and mend things with Mama Mai. Mama Mai needs to stop her ego trip and realize how much she hurt Jeannie.

COVID or no COVID, do not invite people to an event that’s not yours.

Damn when Jeannie cried I cried. I feel her frustration; there was a real communication breakdown there and that was sad.

unpopular opinion: my mum is korean. this felt familiar to me. we used to have so much animosity towards each other. you’re Momma is coming from a place of pain. she needs to find a vietnamese therapist and really get down to the root of her issues. My mum finally did and it’s really changed the dynamics of our relationship.

Mama Mai is sooo old school that feel like their children can’t tell them anything which is so unfair especially when Jeanie is mad out of love . Mama Mai should be soo grateful for the platform Jeanie Mai gave her but she acting as if its a burden being her mother ! Ugh soo sad I love them sooo much ! I pray that God takes control of their relationship.

This is what happens when emotional maturity meets narcissism and looses. Mama Mai has not dealt with her childhood scars and now she is inflicting them on her reflection, being Jeannie. I love you both and I hope healing comes one day not just for your relationship but for mama Mai and the little girl still crying inside her. Jeannie, the only way to get through a narcissist is to not allow them to take you out of character. Truth was being given to her and she didn’t want to see, so instead, she deflected and turned the attention to you yelling and cursing. You lost when you gave in and yelled and cursed and accused her of being like her father. At that point you stooped to her level, and lost all credibility. You need to be calm so the only fault left to see is their own. I pray you all seek real help.

Omg Jeannie I'm so proud of you for speaking up for yourself it's so hard in the Asian culture to speak up to your parents but that definitely needs to change. You give respect you get respect PERIOD. She's so in her own little world that she didn't understand a word you said. Mama Mai needs help badly.

So I guess this is why Jeannie never wanted kids 🥺 the fear of repeating the cycle is probably too deep... This was so hard to watch because you can tell Jeannie so badly wants things to be better and mama mai is so full of pride that she won’t even try to meet her daughter half way 💔

this is so triggering. This is literally what every fight with immigrant parents go like.

The sad part is she won't ever change. From the sound of it everyone caters to her toxicity... Even Jay. She guilt trips the family into doing what she wants. Sad af

This made me sad for both of them, I love how jeannie opens up & makes an effort to resolve. She's trying to break generational curses but mama mai doesn't think she's wrong. I would like to see them have these convos in vietnamese & see if mama mai explains herself better or if she has better reaction. I hope you two can work it out

I think over the times we seen Mamma Mai... she always makes things about herself... so I’m not too surprise about the drama on the engagement party. Mama Mai is wrong for inviting her “friends” to a private event... and she should’ve known better as the older person in this conversation. I’m very disappointed with Mamma Mai, not see her fault, and she was the one that started the fire. It’s always about her... just like Dennis said... she’s pretty much alike Trump.

Mama Mai doesn't respect her daughter's boundaries....to bring up the wedding is a low blow. She's apologized over & over, what more must she do. I'm sad for Jeanie😔

This is so toxic, Mama Mai please do better honestly. Stop making Jeannie's life miserable. Please Jeannie, your happiness comes first. Pray about your relationship with your Mom.

Damn Mama Mai just hurt my feelings with the way she acted... I didn’t see this coming, I didn’t know she was such a narcissist. Jeannie is such a strong daughter and woman because I completely get this... Sending Jeannie a virtual hug❤️

Jeannie is right. Respectfully, her mom’s behaviour is narcissistic, toxic, and childish.

These are the things people have to deal with when the children are trying to break toxic generation habits. GO Jeannie! You are so strong.

Jeannie's stance on not inviting people she doesn't know especially during a pandemic is sooo valid. People are dying. Instead of you to also think about your family's safety you're rather thinking about your friends. I would be pissed too

My parents are immigrants from Mexico and man this hit home… My siblings and I have such an estranged relationship with them both and it absolutely drains the life out of us. They can never be wrong and they can never say sorry or take accountability for anything. I absolutely love my mom and I want to cherish and adore her but she makes it so hard when she gaslights us and acts petty :( if she’s in a bad mood she makes sure to ruin the day for all of us or make it extremely awkward for us to even be together as a family. There’s always some kind of tension and my siblings and I are all grown now and not once has my mom or dad said sorry or try to see us on our level. It’s sad how we had to suffer through emotional abuse, pick up all the broken pieces, somehow lift ourselves back up and grow, and on top of that we managed to undercover their deep routed traumas. We were able to sit down and realize and feel sympathy for our parents for their experiences growing up. But they can’t do the same for us. It’s just hard trying to be respectful and loving when they make it so hard

She admits she took over her daughter's engagement party and turned it into her own holiday party. That is a mistake and she should apologize!

The fact that her mom called her the “devil” and behaves this way shows how toxic mama is. Boundaries are so important! Jeannie was right to limit the gathering to a few family members. The engagement dinner was for Jeannie, not for her mama. Her mother tends to make things about herself. Jeannie can admit what she could have done differently, but mama just can’t take enough responsibility.

This is how relationships with parents breakdown. Parents can’t admit when their wrong and will always look for ways to blame you. Sometimes parents will always treat their grown adult children as still children, respect is two ways, don’t demand respect regardless of who you are, it has to be earned. Both were rude in their own ways and hurtful. But the mother was wrong for inviting people unnecessarily.also involving the brother was unfair, cause they are forcing him to take sides too.

Even though this was heavy at moments, I thought it was really interesting and made me think introspectively. I seen a lot of myself in both Jeannie and Mama Mai at different points in my life. Super relatable. Thanks for posting Jeannie! It reinforced some things for me.

Shout out and hugs to women whose mother's will NEVER fully accept us, no matter what we do.

Jeannie's patience in this whole thing is ADMIRABLE. I could see the hurt and the pain.

My dad just passed from covid, he was healthy, strong, young. Thank you Jeannie for taking covid seriously 😔

Jeannie honestly has the right to be mad, she's honestly trying to protect her mom.

Another thing, mama Mai is acting like she’s Vanessa Bryant’s mother. No, ma’am. Respect that your daughter and her man have a relationship and you should be ashamed of yourself for imposing on him like that. His attention was supposed to be on his future wife.

It's so sad that this is the case with a lot of ethnic families, the whole "respect your elders regardless of anything" is so tired now. Yes, we are incredibly grateful for everything they've done for us and continue to do, but that doesn't excuse hurtful or unwarranted behaviour. They need to be called out on it even if they don't accept it. Jeannie was right to call it out, I can understand why mama Mai was hurt but Jeannie understood that and apologised, now she's just taking it way too far talking about never speaking to her again and missing the wedding. It sucks that it's come to that but Mama Mai can only come to terms with this herself, no one else will change her mind.

Mama Mai is absolutely wrong, in EVERY way imaginable. I can’t imagine cutting my daughter out of my life because she worried about my health! Toxic parenting. Jeanie is 100% right.