Wow. What a message. Just a week ago, after a great revival service that my church was having, I was in tears. I told my husband that I live with so much regret and pain. Regret from the choices I’ve made and the pain of things that have happened to me caused by other people. It’s like I wake up defeated because it’s like those memories/thoughts are choking me every single day. It’s like I can’t escape it. I live with SO much regret that sometimes it makes me wish I was never born. This week a friend sent this message to me and this is speaking VOLUMES to me. Thank you so very much for this message and for following the Lord on it. I was just telling my husband how this is what I was feeling just a week ago and the Lord sent me this. I needed this so much.
As I listen to this in my car, I literally drove by a person from my past. Satan trying to tempt those thoughts out of me once again! A fiery dart out of nowhere. Push those thoughts out of your mind instantly. It is hard at first but it gets easier. Do not give those thoughts of past regret ONE second of rule in your mind. I am with you sister and more importantly I AM is with you. We fight battles in our minds every day, every second. You win that battle when you don't let the enemy move one inch into the territory of your mind.
I almost didn't listen to this message because it didn't start the way it ended lol! But I felt the Lord impress it on my heart so I figured why now.....WOW! I never expected to be sitting on my living room floor speechless and bawling my eyes out. I needed this message more than I knew. I have been battling some serious self worthlessness/regret/insecurity/doubt about my calling/loneliness/emptiness/invaluable and the list goes on. There have been hurts that have happened to me that have changed me to my soul and caused major distrust towards humanity and church life. I am Holy Ghost filled and I thought I'd "praised through to my healing" but let me tell you...all I did was put a bandaid on it. I am constantly battling the same things like on a cycle. God opened my eyes and I realized that although I had asked Him to help me forgive those people/situations I have never spoke my pain/disappointments/failures/mistakes nor asked for HEALING! Just yesterday I sang as part of the P&W team all the while feeling so empty because of so much turmoil. I sat in my pew feeling so alone. He felt so far away to the point that I wish I hadn't been born. Doubt about everything that He has ever spoke to me spoke louder than any other thought. I thought I was spiritually done. I could feel the pain building up in me yesterday but I didn't know where it was coming from because my life is "picture perfect". When she said "rejection" I knew.... God bought up every pain I deal with unbeknownst to me, that I'd just covered because I forgave people. I began to interceed on my own behalf for the first time in my walk with God. I didn't think He cared.... I didn't think He still saw the pain since it's all under the blood.. I am sorry this comment is so long. I still don't have enough words to express what this message has done for me right now. Thank you for being sensitive to the Lord . Thank you so much for putting this out there. Thank you.
