The Hidden Pitfalls of Being 'Too Nice' in Tech: The IT Professionals' Dilemma | Career Talk 

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It all starts with parents . Children who grow up in unreasonably strict environments grow up to fear teachers and see school and exams as punishments . They grow up to become timid , shy , reserved and scared teenagers . They continue the same attitude into adulthood and see their bosses as gods and do what they are told to do and never stand up for themselves . All these factors lead to failure in professional and personal lives of such individuals. I’m a prime example of this and the above is my own story . At 40, I am now becoming more assertive and am re-inventing myself in every aspect . To all parents : PLEASE DO NOT FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO DO ANYTHING AND STOP COMPARING YOUR KID WITH OTHER KIDS .

Excellent analysis, hence introverts and being technically good feel safe to work in small companies with little or no hierarchy

1 ensure visibility and credit 2 be in limelight 3 compete wherever possible 4 don't be nice n simple . Be deplomatic 5 be close to urmanager

I have worked in IT industry for 18 years. Based on my personal experience I can say that we should not work very hard in office but rather cultivate a passion towards the technology or business domain. You may think of the company as your everything but for the company you are a mere number. So do not work too hard in office. If you become very good in your skills you can easily get into better companies and save yourself a lot of hassle. If you work too hard in current company but they don't give you good salary hike or professional growth as per your expectation then this regret will stay with you even after leaving the present company. So better relax and spend time in learning something new.

after working over 13 years in IT . i have realised one thing. Difference between top performer and 2nd rated performer growth and salary is not that much compared to difference in quality of life and stress between these 2 people. Its just not worth chasing for it. Yes if you are passionate about your work and it happen oraganically then its fine. But running after to create visibility and blah blah is just not worth it. Sometime it may be - like when you want to get onsite opportunity. So moral is- if you want quality of life as well. You should know when to step up and when to hold back.

100% true. I myself have gone through this and have now left the corporate world after working for 22 years. All these points are perfect but then changing our nature is not that easy. Also it has to do with the up bringing and the environment in which you have been brought up since childhood. स्वभावाला औषध नाही. In today's world you can be either nice or successful. And this applicable everywhere not just corporate world. So the choice is yours, be nice and get peace of mind or be shrewed/heartless and become successful.

C for communication, C for confidence. Both feed each other and once one realise this, there is no boundary to your personality,it just needs right direction.

I have been in IT for 14+yrs and people who cozy with Managers and do office politics are given opportunities rather than the guys who deserve. Selfishness is well-spread in the world which is more dangerous than cancer. People just dont realise it.

In the present Corporate world, one has to master the soft skill of handling different situations as a person than the technicalities of a job. Simply because the technical aspects can be learned over a period of time with extra effort and concentration.

It all begins with your childhood and your family. If your parents were too strict and dominated your life at every stage, you end up fearing everything in life. You fear school, your teachers, other people, more assertive children, everyone. Timidity becomes your first nature, and you have trouble asserting yourself. Your brain gets "stuck" in teen mode, where you desperately want to break free but you perceive too many psychological barriers and secretly rely on someone's guidance instead of being able to make your own decisions. Soon this seeps into your career, where you become comfortable being dictated to, to work for someone instead of carving out your own path. You fear your superiors, you envy your smarter (and more outspoken) subordinates, and you fight this internal battle where your own limitations become your worst enemy. You are innovative/creative, but you just can't bring any of your ideas to fruition, because you are unable to put them forth with conviction. Personal experience here, especially the family bit. Also, as most fellow 80's kids will agree, schools were terrible back then - too strict and corporal punishment to boot... Still, I was able to secure a good job after college and from there on I worked for some of the best companies in the world. However, I had trouble shaking those bugbears off. Soon stagnation began in my career. My peers became my seniors, and my juniors my peers. In my mid-40s, I had reached a dead end in my career with no ambition left and neither the will nor the strength to make the move to the next rung in my career ladder. I quit my job in my late 40's. It's been a few years since then. Now I find peace in a retired life. I guess I wasn't cut out for the rat race. At least, that's how I consoled myself. Having worked for around 25 years, I managed to salt away enough for a simple life (hopefully). But sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and start all over again... Good luck to everyone with your careers, and hope that for those of you with a similar story as mine, my own failures will inspire you to break your shackles and succeed in your endeavours. 🙂

Nice people face challenges not only in professional world but also in personal and emotional life. Most of the time people use them as much as they can and left irrespective of the environment. In today's world it is better to be neutral person Extreme nice or extreme naughty person have to suffer a lot in their life.

If you relate to this, do share it in your WhatsApp groups and hit the "Like" button so others can benefit from it 🙌

Very valid points... being in corporate world for more than 13 yrs i could very well relate every points...Extraordinary... thanks

Absolutely true, it is the reality in corporate world. Grate analysis @Carrier Talk.

This is exactly what I needed. Well analyzed and narrated

I needed a guide like you in my past years ......and your guidance is always helpful.

To put it in a nutshell the content in this video I believe "Sell yourself smartly to your Managers on whatever tasks you do in the best possible way to get noticed on your efforts' worth"

Amazing content Anand! You’re spot ON! Honestly your video made me introspect. I was making some of these mistakes. We can’t just dismiss by saying corporate politics, every time. Need to look inside too.

Very straight forward and to the point. That's why we follow you sir. Your advice is really helpful and logical also.

100% true and I share the same thought with my friends and Reportees. Thanks for being short and sweet about it, you hit it on the mail 😊

Totally true. Proper communication skills is more crucial than ever to be able to express what we know that can benefit some one in our group. Important to be smart and strong than nice. Playing any kind of competitive sports may also help to develop some of these skills

This is so to the point :-) ... Thank you for such elaborated thoughts.

I agree with all the points discussed. It will help lot of those who are suffering being nice. Big thanks.

Very true and nicely summarised. You get what you want and if you have a desire to get ahead then you need to come out of your comfort zone.

True, spot on. Very well presented

This is the best advice I have gotten in life. I am going to change the course of my approach to corporate life.

Nice very interesting and practical topic sir, as always thank you. 👍 Simple mantra, 'Your co-workers are not your friends' even school buddies will change after promotion and marriage.. any job or position in life (between inlaws, Brothers and sisters, wife-husband, between even egoistic Father - Mother there is great rivalary , your central or local politicians hate each other).

Loving your content day by day❤❤

Fully agree with you. We will need more self awareness and willingness to change. Coming out of comfort zone is tricky. In many times it also a cultural baggage and mindset. Also due to Dunning Kruger effect people who have less knowledge tend to be more confident than people who have more knowledge. We need to recognize this and be more assertive about our skills and knowledge

completely resonate your thoughts...spot on

Excellent, very well said.

Absolutely spending time introspection is necessary and worth the time to move ahead. I resonate with you. Thanks that your talk here made me realise this. Its just sowehting things are there at the back of mind but we aren't sure but your talk gave an assurance

You are absolutely right. This is the reality of corporate world.

Very relevant and well articulated. These are the real challenges one faces in todays cut throat work environment, and one need to acknowledge and learn how to navigate these situations to survive and thrive in corporate world.

Great advice. Appreciate it.

You answered almost all the WHYs I was whining with for very many years... THANKS would be just a very small word to express the intensity of gratitude I would gladly express otherwise to you for this video...😊❤😊❤

you are absolutely right, this generally happens in corporate offices.

Thank you for this video I am going through the same difficulties thank you so much, Still trying to overcome these issues

Spot On !

Great explanation of hidden points in professional career.. Thank you @CareerTalk

Very good analysis!!

Excellent , the points you have covered is so true....

Usefull tips Thanks for sharing

You are too good and are doing a great service!!! Thank you!!! Subscribed👍🏼

Dear Sir -> I really appreciate your wisdom in these matters -> BIG THANK YOU 🙏

Too correct.. perfect piece of advice 👍

Awesome ❤

Wholesome advice .. being a doctor ..in a corporate set up .. we suffer this a lot .. and by profession are not trained to think like this ....

Wow Thanks for the insight , I need to practise assertiveness and soft skills . It's not what you say but how you say it matters .

Nice speech and you have covered the real problems of nice people in the industry

Though I agree with you.. Winning in corporate world != winning in life. I have observed that many of those so called "successful in corporate world" are not content in their rest of the life. They are suffering with one or other issue. Karma is real !

I needed to hear this.

Kudos to you. This is a thought provoking talk and actually opening a can of worms. Being NICE mean many things with reference to work environments. Being nice in one company will boot you up and in another company somebody steals the show without due hard work. Being nice to manager is also kissing up to the manager. My colleague will be very nice to me whenever he needs something and half of the time whatever I say about improving or asking for suggestions nothing goes in between his ears. Being nice can be opportunistic, weakness, strength, survival, getting work done. Being assertive in some environment can pull you down and it becomes a habit which is hard to break. Most of the career advice do not work because change is hard and we evolved like that. The advise and adviser is not to be blamed but it's evolutionary mind set that can't break free the environment. There is no formula or correct way to come up in the career. We deal with emotional human beings and most of them don't think straight because brain doesn't think logically all the time because it's naturally hard for the brain to think logically all the time. That's why the brain which is mind, takes the easier route in making decisions. There are naturally gifted leaders and technical specialist who brings in the money for the company. Two of my friends are account managers who oversee like multiple clients. I asked do they have any idea about each account. Most of them don't have clue at all just they attend the meeting every single waking hour and make bunch of decisions which will be revisited like zillion times. According to me why people come up in the management ladder in IT services company has zillions of reasons and very hard to pin point one. Mr. Arun your talks are useful and it highlights the state of the employee and employer. Personally career advise won't work but it's still worth listening just to know how we can think about the career.

Excellent video. 100% facts. Spot on.

Very good advice and well presented. I might send link to some people who needs it, badly.

I enjoy your conversations and can relate to my experiences 😊

Nice summary. Thanks for this concise explanation.

Confidence comes with technical skills, skills are skills and those soft skills that other people are good is because they are good technically also. There is no ice people , other people are just good. You said it, they have skills and so they are ahead

Awesome much appreciate it

REALLY HIGH VALUE CONTENT - EVERY POINT - GOLD 👍

Wow sir, every single thing you highlighted were so absolute correct , Hatsoff to you , thanks for making this video , I am sure this will help a lot of the newbie's to do well in corporate world.. God Bless.

Sir, thank you so much for your analysis.

Very nice sir, very nicely and crystal clear quotes, what happens with nice people in the corporate world

Exactly am in same scenario, thanks for Sharing insightful video will help a lot

I don't think it is required to do something which is bothersome as per your nature just to survive. It will never make you happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal. Choose your work based on your nature first and then learn necessary things to be better in that. Most of us are stuck with jobs that we don't like. So it does not matter how much you try to learn or upskill, it will not be satisfactory. It's 2023 and you have the options to choose work that goes well with your core nature.

Everything you said is 💯✔️

Absolutely resonating

Perfectly said

This is a mind-blowing video.

Thanks Anand. You are doing a great job in creating awareness. Hatsoff to you

Eye opening

True , learnt this the hard way

I like the channel, it talks most about the internal aspects of the company, the way the peoples interactive and many more, kudos.

You are a very good mentor sir... thank you very much 🙏 for your selfless efforts to guide the nice talented people... God bless you

this is wise, we have to assert ourselves if don't agree, set boundaries and say no. That's the simple key to to life

Thank you Sir. Nice vedio. Corporate world is not for me ( i don't think ahead much) . But i can't leave as well since this is the bread and milk for me .

Thanks for the lesson, Sir

I got this fact check through this year appraisal...my manager had nothing wrong to say about me and still gave me 3 rating...i have always been on time and always helped my teammates and never took unnecessary leaves... And my manager gave me 3 rating... And i was stupid enough to not ask y i am not getting 4 star ...i just said ok and now i regret it

1. Lack of Assertiveness Fear of rejection or Fear of conflict 2. Under estimation 3. People take you for granted (Habbit of letting it go) 4. The way you conduct yourself matters You need to grab your opportunites And ----- 5. Check the kind of people you hang with 6. That is not office politics, you need to self analysis 7. It is not being good or bad, it is being street smart Don't put yourself, in professional disadvantage 8. Learn communication skills, learn to become assertive, learn to promote yourself

I believe you should never compare yourself at workplace with your colleagues, you should always believe in yourself and always remember to keep your head up no matter what the circumstances you are in. If you are an introvert then that does not mean you will lag behind, keep the ball rolling and it is not always required to speak up but should know when and where to speak , for example the townhall example which was given , if all comes in the front then who will acquire the back row? . I have seen in my personal experience some really talented guys who occupy the back rows and ask questions from the back, sometimes clients even look out for these people 😂 and they seem to be legit. So there is no hard and fast rule , just be in the moment , what is important is to fail and learn , you should definitely take risk and be bold sometimes to stay ahead.

Mice are nice. Being assertive and voicing out is a necessity..valid points..

You are higher for technical skills and fire for softskill ❤

Wow ...eye opener. We sy office politics but actually it is our excuse for lack of smart skills.

Thank you so much

Very right

I do agree with with analysis and I feel i am doing the same mistakes which you have highlighted .But to solve your mentioned analysis will be challenge for nice people and will take time And that time ,one is not having as everybody is way ahead .

Great ,thanks

Totally agree. 100%

Worth watching this video

It's applicable everywhere

Its really nice.

Thanks you sir

It's help me a lot sir...🤩🤩🤩

You are absolutely wondrous

Good techies are often introverted and like to remain in technical ladder and look down upon management jobs, but real opportunity and money lies in the management roles after a certain point of time, very nice analysis

Ya absolutely 💯

Wah Anand wah..... This clarity of mind and words comes from a person who is experienced as well as grounded... I face this 100 %. Do u think it's due to environment that we grow with that makes people simple and humble?

Nicely explained everyone must learn out of this.

Good informative video